Anyone miss their dream job despite trying their asses off to get it?

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MundaneHuckleberry58@reddit

Relatable. I wanted to have a career (build experience in one line of work, progressively getting to an expert). But ended up with a series of jobs.

Like you, I needed to leave behind my 20s of no/low-pay because I needed a livable wage. Started a “real” job, only to have to switch gears abruptly bc I got laid off. Did the next thing for 10 years only to get laid off. Gave up & started doing a series of jobs, that’s where I’m at.

I dread the “so what do you do?” question. I don’t do anything noteworthy. On the other hand if I go into the work backstory I get a “omg you’ve done SO many things!” That comment makes me self conscious of how I kinda never launched, career wise.

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1BiG_KbW@reddit

Wanted to be a logger. Spotted owl doomed that dream.

Unemployed and crippled despite some cushy office jobs. So I got half of the career thing of my childhood dreams in the awesome true Gen X way!!

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WestLondonIsOursFFC@reddit

Had a second interview well over twenty years ago to work with a company involved with a band that's currently in the news. They told me they liked me and the next stage was to meet the main band member to make sure he liked me before offering me the job. They also mentioned they had one more person to see who'd applied at the last minute.

She got the job.

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Anxious-Advantage238@reddit

Instead of going to art school in New York I stayed home and took care of my Mama. I don't know anything about NYC and have zero friends or family there. Both are huge things in my life but at 18yo I didn't know how much I would really depend on them through life.

So begrudgingly and I do mean I was super mad I took a job at home where at the time ppl here in BFE Mississippi 30yrs ago thought a graphic designer meant glorified secretary. The internet was new and not seen as necessary back in 1995. I HATE STRIPPING NEGATIVES! Yeah I went to college and became a stripper! It's one of my favorite jokes. Thank you Lord for Photoshop! I think I still have my copy of 5.0 😂

My brother needed to go college in Tennessee for his Masters Degree. Since I stayed home there wasn't a need for me to continue to go to college bc you learn by doing. It's like a trade. Only what I did with my degree is now found for FREE on every phone with an editing program. Not graphic design but what was called desktop publishing.

I no longer am able to work and haven't since I was 35YO bc I have 2 incurable illnesses. I've had one my whole life that's progressively getting worse as I age but the other I got as a result of a genetic mutation. It was during college that I had my first panic attack and had I been in NYC I think I probably would have dropped out from the pressure. I don't deal with stress well at all I mean it causes the attacks.

Sometimes life may not seem right at all at the time. You just need to trust that you're doing the right thing and have a little faith in yourself that it's right. While I can't work, my brother he's a teacher. The greatest profession IMO a person can do and thing is he's actually really good at it! Y'all should see him when he gets in front of them kids I'm like who are YOU??? Thing is I wanted him to go on and get his doctoral degree bc his last name is Pepper. Then he'd be Dr Pepper the rest of his life but he said no 😂

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stonecoldmark@reddit (OP)

Wow! Wasn’t expecting such a response.

I work a shitty job in a warehouse (just fyi, don’t get a warehouse job in your 50’s)

I have set hours and it’s less than 10 minutes from my house, but there is 1000 other things I’d rather do and none of them pay. I basically work there so we have insurance.

I just hate so much how my life turned out in a professional sense. We’ve since moved out of CA so the movie temptation is gone and has been for awhile.

But I did manage to make my own documentary once. Something I always wanted to do, so I have that going for me. It’s on YouTube.

The Business of Nostalgia

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JLMezz@reddit

Sheer luck — and connections in the industry — is 98% of it. Seriously.

There is no shame in having jobs and no career; it’s actually what most of the rest of the world does; Americans have so much focus on career we miss out on a lot of fun, leisure, relaxation, travel, etc.

Jobs are good; they pay the bills.

If you still dream of Hollywood, find a hobby that’s connected to what you want(ed) to do. Wanted to be a screenwriter? Well start WRITING. Find the joy in doing the thing without the attachment to the outcome. Wanted to be principal photographer/videographer? Find/create a local story and make a documentary about it… there are so many ways to find fulfillment doing something close to what you love & adjacent to the Big Dream.

I’m sure you can find something to work on/play around with. Added bonus: it’ll give you a start on a fun hobby for retirement.

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WalkingOnSunshine83@reddit

I was in L.A. in TV/film at the same time. So many production companies treated their employees as disposable. I was happy when I heard about the court case that ended legal slavery (internships!). Nope, the big break never came.

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LordHeretic@reddit

One one hand, I did miss it. On the other, I'm really glad, because I don't want to hate what I was made to do. I'm too old to do it now, and I don't mind. I don't have that baggage. US culture is poison.

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Natural_King2704@reddit

I'm not in the movie department, but I didn't stay at a motel6 last night

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smappyfunball@reddit

I spent a decade working my dream job and for the most part it sucked. Long hours, shitty bosses, abuse, instability.

Finally walked away. There was some good times, wasn’t all bad but in the end I didn’t see any future in it.

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Corkscrewwillow@reddit

I was a zookeeper for 20 years, that was my dream job

Loved it, but low pay, long hours, physically demanding, and very competitive. Especially AZA Zoos that tend to pay better. Most friends still in that field had to move.

I went back to school, became an RN. I love what I do now too. Plus it pays decent and is in demand.

Still, I do miss my birds.

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supenguin@reddit

I got into computer programming because I wanted to make video games. I grew up in a small town where there weren't many good books on the subject at the local library. This was pre-internet and I assumed the only way to learn programming was to go to college.

In college, I discovered Linux, learned programming but nothing that was graphical - it was all command line stuff and a bit of HTML in the late 90's and graduated in 2000.

Fast forward: I'm 25 years into my programming career, married, two wonderful kids and occasionally take a stab at doing game development stuff.

Watching how the IT industry is going: if you think programming in general is a dumpster fire, the game development industry seems to be at least 10x as bad. I think if my livelihood depended on me making and selling games I'd be a huge ball of stress all the time and likely die early of a heart attack. I'm glad I didn't get into game dev full-time and will likely pick it up as a hobby once I retire.

I have done a couple events called Game Jams where they give you a theme and a weekend to make a simple game around that theme. I tried ONE solo Game Jam. It was awful. The rest I've done have been as part of a team. I get to build something that looks great thanks to having people more skilled than I am at art, game development, and in two cases - sound and music. It's a lot of work but it's a blast. Just not how I want to spend every week of my working career. I love being able to spend evenings and weekends with my family.

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No_Machine7021@reddit

My husband did it. Worked as a 1st AC on tv and films for 20 years. He has wonderful stories. But as someone else posted, long days are the norm. 16 hours was a usual day. 14hours was a ‘short’ day. Night shoot? Forget it. Woof. He’d be on zombie hours for days.

You mentioned you have a family? Thats why my husband ultimately left. 1) we fell in love 2) he liked seeing me… work interfered with that 3) if we ever wanted a kid, which we did eventually, I’d basically be a single mom.

He went back to school and is now an OT. Home every night to tuck our kid in to bed. And me. 😉

I too had my “dream” career and left it because it became overrun by corporate downsizing and moral was non-existent.

I work for myself now.
FWIW: we both made a lot more money in our old jobs. But we’d never get to see each other. We are 100% happier in our ‘other’ careers that give us more time and a little less money. We’re all gonna die, I’d like to enjoy as much of my time here as I can.

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Status_Silver_5114@reddit

Also worked in Show Biz (“it’s show business not show fun” which is what I’d remind my PAs ) and a huge chunk of people I knew who even worked semi regularly had left by the time they were 30 for the most part for all the same reasons.

Working in the arts can be brutal even at the best of times……

I left after having a career (I was lucky) and have had jobs since so to speak but the schedule (again luckily) is much more family friendly that the arts ever was or would be.

I think the idea that everyone can get/keep/has a career (what they call a “passion” now) is an overrated idea that more often than not leaves people unsatisfied or disappointed in themselves for somehow being a failure (esp in the arts which almost no one really makes a living at if you look at the numbers)…… and I think arts is esp hard because it’s so social and seems like we’re all friends and it’s fun and games but at the end of the night it’s still a business that doesn’t give a fuck about you just any other “regular” business.

Short version - I hear ya.

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Mindless-Employment@reddit

The very few people I know who are able to make a full-time living in the arts have three things in common: They're all married to someone who makes six figures at a "regular" job. They all make at least half their income from teaching rather than performing. They don't have kids. One of them is single but he had wealthy parents and inherited their money and house when they died, so he's never had any of that "I gotta get a job with a regular paycheck or I'm gonna be on the street" sort of instability and money stress that pushes a lot of people out of the arts.

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nocapnonerf@reddit

The hours for this Industry can be quite brutal, especially for people doing behind the scenes type of work. 14-16 hour days are not uncommon. Basically like pulling a double shift. Only other industry I can think of that pulls those kind of hours are people working in healthcare as nurses.

I did background work for a few years (being an ‘extra’ as they used to call it back in those days) as a teen. 12-14 hour days were common for me.

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Abject-Afternoon-388@reddit

Things rarely work out the way we expect them to. Sometimes it's better sometimes it's worse but it's hardly ever like we thought it was going to be that's why expectations are in my opinion a bit dangerous

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JustFiguringItOutToo@reddit

yeah, capitalism is a bitch ; it is working as designed. If we didn't keep most people in an impossible grind in places like the US, chasing after "the dream", we couldn't have billionaires and trillionaires

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nocapnonerf@reddit

The many that support the few. What a shitty system.

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Any_Pudding_1812@reddit

likewise wanted to work in film. i did free work and some paid but couldn’t support my family so worked in shit jobs making other people rich. now i’m self employed and lazy ( which means poor) but happier.

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O_o-22@reddit

So me as well. I did what I went to school for for 6 years before it was like I can’t do this my whole life. Took a shit job to figure things out and that was when the 2008 recession hit and I’ve had to cobble together the money to live from two part time gigs ever since. Did manage to get a house in 2012 out of that and live well below my means because my means aren’t great either. So I’m poor but happier than I was doing a full time job that was slowly sucking the life out of me. I’m not even sure what a dream job would be for me at this point all this gestures around at society makes me want to check out of the notion that I need to join the rat race to get ahead.

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Glad_Management_2885@reddit

This is probably going to sound nuts but I grew up in Detroit and wanted to work in the automotive industry for one of the big 3, job security, benefits, union backing, skilled trades training, moving up the ladder but by the time I was old enough to get in the rules changed. It was not good enough to have training (trades schooled) and know someone on the inside but you had to be related to someone with seniority, I was not. I worked as a contract machine builder for a while until I got hit in the head with a crane hook and was retired with a traumatic brain injury and it took too long to get SSI that I missed my chance for disability because I missed an appeal. I couldn't sue the company because I was had weed in my system so I couldn't prove that it was just an accident.

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MedsNotIncluded@reddit

PLC programmer, got the education (Germany) and now do gig work in the US instead.. I’m more focused on the kids instead now..

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snarffle-@reddit

Work on movies in what department?

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Natural_King2704@reddit

In the movie department

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dadville1@reddit

The department of movies.

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snarffle-@reddit

The department of movies department.

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SunMyungMoonMoon@reddit

I'm the president of movies. He should have given me a call.

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Boshie2000@reddit

I was signed to a small record label under a large one at 22 and was essentially kept in limbo for 4 years with several versions of two different albums never released. This was way before YouTube and when studio time was expensive.

Mostly burned through the money and was given decent paying gigs doing studio work for others.

I got good at producing but never really broke into the mainstream.

So I put together a few cool funk heavy cover bands and we played internationally.

Did a few indie films scores for movies that went nowhere.

Started a music library after getting some stuff in other libraries and a lot of my music ended up on TV shows, commercials, video games and movie trailers.

But it’s not at all how I saw my career or how I planned it.

After divorce I had to sell the library and my house.

Back to playing gigs in my 50s.

Considering moving abroad and opening a Tiki bar.

Dead ass.

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Tamases@reddit

I discovered that it's all who you know and what you look like. That's how people achieve their dream job. Talent is 3rd.

I'll die on this hill.

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GeoHog713@reddit

Yes - sort of.

I ended up landing a fantastic job with a company I hoped to spend a career with.

It got bought. huge changes. Layoffs. Then the industry tanked and jobs for my particular skill set mostly went away.

I've spent 10 years piecing together consulting work and contract jobs. Not ideal. But stayed in the game

Last week started another fantastic job. I'm back on the track I expected to be .... But it took a decade detour. Definitely paid my dues.

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Life_Transformed@reddit

I did finally get it, but I wish I never had b/c people are such a-holes to those in that role.

It’s just like IT (no one appreciates anything they do, stuff that goes wrong is always their fault, etc).

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sd_glokta@reddit

I'm a programmer by day and a writer by night. I've written a lot of technical books, but I can't get any of my fiction published.

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outdoor1984@reddit

Some of those dreams are more a matter of luck than effort and work.

BTW - congrats on providing for a family - that’s not a small accomplishment.

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ithinkiknowstuphph@reddit

Yeah. Providing for family and kids is a kick ass career