I’m going to quit my job.

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Relative-Scholar3385@reddit

Just do it! Think of it this way, the longer you stay the longer you're postponing dealing with this depressing job and the side effects. I quit my career about 12 years ago and my old work friends make way more than me but whenever we meet up its the same old crap. Things have gotten worse, more work, same pay and people talking about leaving but haven't. It won't be easy but in my opinion its worth it.

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Relative-Scholar3385@reddit

edit: BTW im 48f now, I left that career when I was 35. I'm self employed, not a perfect situation but much better and I still have bad dreams about my old job.

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

Thank you! You sound like my friends and family, words I need to hear. They see how drained and burnt out I am.

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Relative-Scholar3385@reddit

You're welcome. Things aren't perfect and I make less but don't dread work and I'm happier.

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stephenforbes@reddit

Maybe look into enrolling in a trade school for an in demand field that doesn't mind hiring older workers.

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shinra1111@reddit

I felt the same last month and my friend told me to buy a orache instead. I'm looking for another job in the meantime.

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

Buy a what?

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shinra1111@reddit

Porsche

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

Oh, lol! I did not come up with that word. Thanks for responding.maybe someday I can employ myself out of the current Honda.

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shinra1111@reddit

Yah I can't afford one either, maybe a used one but it would t make me happier.

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Pendleton9@reddit

So you are a 1099 contract assistant? If you cant pay your bills without the money you should find another job before quitting.

Second ask your MD if they would prescribe an anti-depressant like zoloft or something benign that you know works for you. Never make big decisions when you are depressed.

Take a breath and plan it out and make good decisions when your judgements isnt clouded. Remember you have people that care about you and you are loved. This problem doesn't have to be solved tomorrow...if you exercise patience and act prudently it will do nothing but help. Good luck.

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

Thank you. I’ve been trying to work up the guts to quit for 3 years. I’ve reached the tipping point so it’s time. I can’t afford the doctor with this job so it’s time to find a job with benefits. She knows she has been taking advantage of me, I’m just too loyal to people to fight back. Working on changing that now. Your advice is good.

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Available-Fee1614@reddit

Have you asked for any increase? Would it be worth it enough to stay if “she” treated you better?

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

Here’s the thing, she has given me increases like a regular job but an acquaintance pointed out that the terms aren’t even legal. I should be charging a fee and offering services and a schedule I am available. She has been running me around for years treating me like an employee but only when there is work. Some days I don’t have work and then I don’t get paid. I never know when those days will occur. I can tell you she knows the law and she knew I trusted her to know more than me and to be honest. To find out the level I have been taken advantage of just put me over the edge.

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Available-Fee1614@reddit

I get that. People suck. Maybe speak to an employment attorney?

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

Here’s the thing, she has given me increases like a regular job but an acquaintance pointed out that the terms aren’t even legal. I should be charging a fee and offering services and a schedule I am available. She has been running me around for years treating me like an employee but only when there is work. Some days I don’t have work and then I don’t get paid. I never know when those days will occur. I can tell you she knows the law and she knew I trusted her to know more than me and to be honest. To find out the level I have been taken advantage of just put me over the edge.

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Sand_Aggravating@reddit

This is exactly the way to go about it on all points anyone can!!! I truly hope op uses this formula! Every time I made a work decision when not taking measured steps in the past id fall flat on my face and end up worse off, gotta plan the escape first then execute!!!

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Staran@reddit

But….now I don’t know the whole story but….

Having a job and going through depression is better than not having a job and going through depression, right?

I may be arrogant

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

I love my part time job, I’m hoping I can build a career in that direction. I’m not going to find another job until this one is gone. Town is too small to pass out resumes and not get busted.

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Careful_Simple_1170@reddit

I'm in the same boat. My mental health is worth more than my life. I couldn't work for a corporation that treats their employees so badly. They would promote the uneducated & punish the long time college educated to the tune of 97% turnover in 2 years. July will be my 4th month off. I've had several interviews but no offers. I still don't regret my decision but u have to be financially prepared for it.

I was able to find a health insurance broker & get fairly cheap insurance based on no income. Also approved for SNAP food stamps. I have strong faith in God & am being patient and working on my resentment towards the company. Hang in there!

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AdWestern994@reddit

97% turnover?!

Holy sh.......

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Careful_Simple_1170@reddit

Yep only one person left out of the original crew. Human Resources if you can believe that!

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AdWestern994@reddit

Imagine that!

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412_15101@reddit

I just restarted at late 53. All new job in a new city 4 hours from anywhere I knew managed to get almost 40% pay raise and less work

It’s doable as a single childless woman it’s exhilarating!

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BraveG365@reddit

Did you have experience for this job or was it a total entry level type of thing?

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

That’s awesome!

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412_15101@reddit

It’s a crazy ride but it’s amazing to feel alive.

I’ve been there 60ish hours per week, stressed, depressed and anxious off my rocker. My body shut down and I had to make changes.

You’ll make the decisions and the movements you’re able to do!

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

You’re amazing. Good job breaking free. I feel that internal shredding you’re describing. Spend all the time in the world telling myself I should be grateful, but in the end if I hate myself and the 50 I am, what’s it all worth?

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solomons-marbles@reddit

Check your state’s and towns’ around you job boards. Also check with temp to perm agencies like Robert Half.

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jnyquest@reddit

This March, after 28 years of literal blood, sweat, and tears, the company I worked for decided to close and sell. With a good severance and medical pkg, I didn't really have to start looking for a job until sometime next year. I was nervous, anxious, and worried about starting a new career. After sending my resume out to a few companies. I landed an awesome job on my first interview in an entirely different field than I was in.

It honestly has been one of the single best moves I could have made. I don't have to manage anyone. I don't have to be the one to do everything, and I am now in a temperature controlled environment where I spend over 70% of my time. My stress level is now a 3, whereas it used to stay at a constant 11.

Keep an open mind as it pertains to new employ, it may just surprise you. Never give up.

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

Good for you! That’s great! I hope to find my “3”

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jnyquest@reddit

Keep your chin up and try to stay positive. Focusing on the negative will only keep you down.

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Tight_Comparison_557@reddit

Not sure where you want to go…. Check out Rat Race Rebellion for WFH jobs. I quit my job in 2020. Took 5 years. Earned a degree I can’t use in my state, worked a retail job for a little over 2 years and decided to go back to my career as a paralegal. It took awhile but I found my spot. During my 5 years I did some WFH jobs, DoorDash and UberEats. There are opportunities out there. Life is too short to be miserable in a job.

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

You’re right! I need to get out from behind a desk.

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finding_center@reddit

I am in a similar boat and considering making a jump but the job market in the US is pretty rough at the moment so I am working to line something new up before I quit. If you can afford to make it on just your side gig then go for it! Otherwise I would start applying first to ensure you are covered if it takes awhile.

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

I’m lucky to have a dual income household. We have a lot of debt, but also, I can’t get ahead where I am and I think I might need a few weeks to take a breath just to feel sane. Thank you!

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Affectionate_Song_36@reddit

“I wish I had spent less time trying to improve my life.” - things we will never say on our deathbed. Your mental health is more important than any job, because we’re mid-century now and it’s time to readjust priorities. Over the weekend, I sent out a handful of resumes to jobs I may not be qualified for, never in a million years expecting a response, and this morning I got a nibble. I decided that gratitude doesn’t pay the bills, compensation does.

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

I hope you get what you’re after!

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newpthankstho@reddit

Make sure you take any information that will be helpful to you when you leave, like contacts. I am sure after 14 years you have made some solid connections that can lead to the next move. Celebrate yourself for being so brave!

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

Thank you!

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Chuck-Finley69@reddit

Don’t quit without another job as companies prefer hiring employed people. I’m a 50+ genx and certain employers value the experience and will pay you W-2 and benefits. I believe you’ve allowed yourself to slowly and completely unaware fall into this mental place.

I did and it got better once I felt like I had worth again which unfortunately, we equate around employment and/or careers.

Good luck

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Carbontee@reddit (OP)

You’re probably right. I do have a part time job and great loyalty (14 years) with one company. It’s just never came with any benefits. That is a partial reason for walking away. Also, I just dread every single day at work. This isn’t healthy. She can hire some millennial who will look forward to being taken advantage of while getting her foot in the door at this business. They will have fresh motivation that I am now empty of.

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RCA2CE@reddit

I had a long time job I took early retirement from, took another job 4 days later and I don’t even remember the old place.. turns out that I gave zero fks about them

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MaximumJones@reddit

Please don't take advice from people on Reddit.

Unemployment sucks donkey balls and homelessness will be far worse on your mental health.

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NoReference909@reddit

Not gifted in the job/money department, but wishing you strength and luck!