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JamGame@reddit

I feel you on this. I don't know whether you've experienced the role of caregiver for elderly parent(s) with long term chronic health issues, but came here to say that nothing has made me regret adulthood more than some of the things I've had to do in service to that.

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Myeloman@reddit

I’ve been both patient of a very serious terminal illness (surprise, it didn’t kill me) and now I’m the caregiver for my wife as she navigates breast cancer. Neither is a joke… I can barely remember what day it is, and if not for my daily tasks list on my phone and appointments on the phone calendar I’d miss our numerous Dr appts and the Tracy cans would never make it to the curb on time, which reminds me…

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Same-Inflation@reddit

Yeah it makes you want to take better care of yourself when you see them not able to walk through the store without a walker or they are taking a dozen pills per day so they don’t die. All because they punished their bodies with terrible choices for decades.

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WantDastardlyBack@reddit

Yes. Alzheimer's for one and a stroke and brain cancer for the other. It's why I have chickens now. I take a couple of hours away from my freelance work every day just to go sit outside and have chicken therapy. My rooster has heard all my woes, whether he wanted to or not. He gets pets while listening to me, so I feel he has to deal with it.

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Southern-Salary-3630@reddit

Millennials figured it out, they’re going no contact with their parents

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rippytherip@reddit

Chicken therapy sounds awesome. I can see the t-shirt already!

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2boredtocare@reddit

When we visit MIL in the home these days, there's basically a roulette wheel spinning and lord knows what we're gonna get: poop on floor? poop in chair? poop on clothes? There is just so much poop.

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latomar@reddit

The nurse coordinator at my dad’s assisted living home told me that a very high percentage of her job revolves around poop: too much or too little.

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2boredtocare@reddit

Bless the people who work there. My heightened sense of smell (thanks, peri) alone would make it unbearable.

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latomar@reddit

Same

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LostFlute@reddit

BTDT. Twice! Being in the thick of it really sucks. Being done with it really sucks, too. However, I will never regret doing it, or that time with them. You almost have to be through it to feel that way, though!

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JamGame@reddit

Agree will all this, and thanks for those sharing supportive messages, much appreciated.

My Dad survived multiple heart attacks, had a miracle of a heart transplant at 71 (no convincing me it was not a miracle) and enjoyed over 18 years of decent, albeit sedentary life with that. We lost him to dementia, lymphoma, and finally a broken-hip and pneumonia last summer.

My FiL died of cancer in 2018. Pardon my "french", but Fuck Cancer.

My MiL is relatively healthy, and we spend as much time with her and my Mother, who is struggling with long term health issues, as we can.

All that to say, hang in there because regardless, I feel like we would definitely regret not doing as much as we can now for our family, who won't always be there. Co-workers and the job aren't our family or our closest friends, necessarily, if you know what I mean.

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tandem_kayak@reddit

We are just getting into that. All our parents passed relatively young except my FIL, who has dementia kicking in, and it seems like everyday it's something. My husband and I joke someone forgot to give us the manual for this process! We are just winging it. But the middle of the night calls are getting real old. Why is it always middle of the night? We both still gotta work a full day after that!

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feuwbar@reddit

My heart goes out to people caring for elderly parents, especially when they still have kids at home depending on them. My wife and I are a few years ahead of you. Please don't forget take care of yourself.

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samizdat5@reddit

Lol. Try eating donuts for dinner sometime. And then you can enjoy the fifth pillar: indigestion.

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newwriter365@reddit

Still awake way past my bedtime. Spicy food doesn’t usually bother me. Tonight is an exception.

Tomorrow (later today?) is going to suck…

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denzien@reddit

Stale donuts get skillet time with some butter

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she_slithers_slyly@reddit

In my world, indigestion's clock is broken.

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HopefulSunriseToday@reddit

I’m 46. I have a pill organizer now. And Zantac is taken daily.

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Ironman650@reddit

Zantac hasn't been available on the market since 2020

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Pure_Animator_569@reddit

Huh? Sure it is. I can buy on Amazon and have it to me in 4-6 hours.

Just cause they got sued for it causing stomach cancer and had to pay $2.2 Billion doesn’t mean they can’t still sell it!

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Ironman650@reddit

Oh I see. It's famotidine now, not the old ranitidine.

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Pure_Animator_569@reddit

Change your diet. Cut out most carbs, especially sugar, reduce alcohol consumption and never drink soda. I did and was able to pitch my Omeprazole

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CraftSufficient5142@reddit

This is the way.

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DangerKitty555@reddit

The Fifth Pillar is paying your bills 😛✌🏼

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TruckFudeau22@reddit

That reminds me. I think my water/sewer bill is due soon.

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subibrat85@reddit

I like routine. None of those things bother me. Dishes is probably my favorite.

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wasabinski@reddit

Right?! I don't know why but I actually enjoy washing the dishes, and we don't even have a dishwasher, I do it by hand, soapy water and sponge. My wife thinks I'm a psychopath.

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sjmiv@reddit

None of this bothers me either. It takes little effort and you just have to do it. I think laundry is probably the one I enjoy the most because I usually put something funny on TV while folding

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hemppy420@reddit

Folding? What's that?

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Effective-Breath-505@reddit

You're also hired! 😆

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SolomonGrumpy@reddit

I also like washing dishes!

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Effective-Breath-505@reddit

You're hired!

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X2946@reddit

Damn, you don’t make your bed?

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JamGame@reddit

Making beds is for suckas.

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X2946@reddit

I used to feel that way as a kid. As an adult, I like coming into a clean bedroom with a made bed, clothes in the hamper, tidy bedside tables

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JamGame@reddit

To each their own, then, I say. Mine is more like Schrodinger's bed, anyway as I never see it unless I'm getting into it, or getting out of it. :)

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Professional_Fly3248@reddit (OP)

I do. Cuz of that damn book - https://www.amazon.com/Make-Your-Bed-Little-Things/dp/1455570249

So now I make my bed.

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X2946@reddit

Another thing that kind of gets me is I walk in from the garage and the first thing I see is my kitchen. Having that cleaned and organized always feels nice. I use the lavender scented Myers so I have a nice scent when I come in

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msmean2@reddit

I have in my head "messy bed, messy head" when I wake up. So it gets made right away, but it still doesn't help with the ADHD.

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HopefulSunriseToday@reddit

Ha, no! I also don’t tie my shoe laces after I take off my shoes (stolen from Jim Gaffigan).

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Silly-Power@reddit

I'd like to know what did people out age do to survive before the invention of paracetamol and nurofen?

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TorrEEG@reddit

Didn't you used to be able to get hard drugs from the pharmacy? I think that's what they did.

I think arsenic used to be easily available, too. That made planning dinner easier. Whatever you made, the family ate it without complaint because they were just happy it was arsenic free.

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Silly-Power@reddit

True. You used to be able to get speedballs from the pharmacy.

As for arsenic: Now they have to resort to using deathcap mushrooms

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Dreaming_of_Rlyeh@reddit

I think they used to just drink their pain away.

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ManyCanary5464@reddit

I eat donuts all the time. Am I not supposed to be eating donuts? I never got that memo.

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BasketBackground5569@reddit

I like to get a mixed dozed and have a piece of each one. Live dangerously.

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ManyCanary5464@reddit

Mixed dozens are the best!

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HopefulSunriseToday@reddit

Read your manual. No donuts!

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stabbygreenshark@reddit

Shine on you crazy donut lover!

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Many_Customer_4035@reddit

Luckily, I have never done laundry or dishes daily, and now that it is just my husband and myself, we usually just make our own food/dinner.

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askywlker44a@reddit

I’ve never used a dishwasher in my life. Always hand washed everything.

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stalkythefish@reddit

This. If you have to pre-rinse it, might as well just wash it. And dishwashers seem to use a lot more water and energy to do a mediocre job.

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mazopheliac@reddit

I've started to enjoy my job now because there is actually less work to do there than at home.

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dads_new_account@reddit

Dadjokes must flow, if not for you, for others
Callback is one of the pillars of comedy
You're gonna die, so do whatever the fuck you can while you're not dead
Detach from the material world, it is ephemeral
Think globally, act locally
You might not be able to help yourself, but you can help others
Be excellent to eat other
Take Roy off-grid
Callback is on of the pillars of comedy
Chill

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Nopedontcarez@reddit

Working from home full time has blurred my entire life now. There are no more weekends, weekdays. One day is much like the other. Unless it's the one day I might go into the office, it's the same thing.
Get up, get the dogs outside for our first walk. Come back, eat, watch TV, catch up on email. Go outside for another walk. Check on my wife, get the dogs fed. Repeat until bed time.

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WeathermanOnTheTown@reddit

This sub can be so depressing sometimes.

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TheKirstin216@reddit

THIS. ALL OF THIS. YES. YES. YES.

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bippityboppitybooboo@reddit

Exactly. I feel like I've worked so hard for so long to get nothing in return. It's an endless case of the Monday's

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Test4Echooo@reddit

Relevant:

gif

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PrivilegeCheckmate@reddit

You die at the end no matter how many donuts you eat or deny yourself.

Get the fucking high score.

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Grand-Maintenance-72@reddit

Wake and Bake! Forget about the dishes, trash, and laundry. For dinner, doritos and ice cream!

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Test4Echooo@reddit

gif

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Happy_Cat_3600@reddit

We were definitely oversold on this whole “adulthood” thing. It’s a total load of horseshit.

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I-used2B-a-Valkyrie@reddit

I kinda like the zen of routine. Wake up, workout, make breakfast, go to the barn and talk to my 1200 lb golden retriever with anxiety. Uh…I mean horse. Shop, bring hubby lunch. The moments are also filled with whatever my 5yo is scheming. Usually lots of giggles and dancing but also sometimes ridiculous tantrums and nonsense.

But I swear to all that is holy if I have to plan dinner every single night for the rest of my life I WILL GO INSANE AND TAKE YOU WITH ME! Just tell me what you want to eat!!!!

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VoodooDonKnotts@reddit

not a whole lot you can do about the first three but if you prep for the week you only have to do #4 once every 7 days. Also, "prep" can just be making the list of what you're gonna eat, that's what we do, we have a menu on the fridge for what's for dinner each day so we only make the decision once a week.

May not sound like much but it's surprising how "draining" constantly deciding what to make/eat can actually be after a while. One less decision to make each day.

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Faith2023_123@reddit

Decision fatigue is real!

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tpittari@reddit

My definition of adulthood is:

"Doing something that needs to be done without needing to be asked to do it."

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Daveinatx@reddit

Reminds me of the song "I'm an adult now," by Pursuit of Happiness.

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johninfla52@reddit

Love this song. I sent it to my kids when they moved out.

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jesuschristjulia@reddit

There’s birth and death. In between its maintenance.

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johninfla52@reddit

Birth, school, work, death!..... Hmmmm, sounds like a song.

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TorrEEG@reddit

I was hospitalized for a week with a morphine drip. It was fabulous! Someone made meals and cleaned up after me. Also, morphine is very relaxing. 10/10 would do again.

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johninfla52@reddit

Agreed. Too bad you can't do it 24/7 and have a life.

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moeshiboe@reddit

Wife & I are house shopping. The pinnacle of excitement for a 49 year old & a 51 year old.

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CyndiIsOnReddit@reddit

I have to start mine with hand-washing dishes while my water boils for my instant coffee. I know I should have washed last night, but I had to work after I cooked dinner.

My every morning is:

Take two dogs out while I'm still rubbing sleep from my eyes.

Make coffee/do dishes/start laundry

Take another dog outside who can't be around the first two dogs.

Hang out the laundry on the line while dog does her business and then like a good little dog servant I scoop the poop so my laundry doesn't stink.

I do meal planning and prep on the weekends so dinners are pretty easy but I do cook everything from "scratch" except the pasta. That comes in a box. I'm not about to start making homemade pasta although I do make some delicious stew dumplings.

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Lolly728@reddit

You need to reframe. These are not chores, these are your Pillars of Peace. They create order and calm in your environment which you greatly deserve. Try making batch meals on the weekend so that it's easier during the week. It really helps. I get it. Sometimes the routine kills my spirit too. I have found that reframing helps a lot.

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Professional_Fly3248@reddit (OP)

That's a great perspective. At least I can control those things. Appreciate it!

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MovingTarget-@reddit

Welcome to middle age - there's a lot more pissing

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WolverineFun6472@reddit

I'm tired/bored/annoyed

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MonoBlancoATX@reddit

Sorry...

you left a couple things off:

take aspirin or some other pain reliever, every day now? for some reason???
complain about your back/knee/neck pain.
listen to your literal kids and anyone else younger than you piss and moan about stupider shit than you're pissing and moaning about and tell them they have no idea...
never sleep soundly or wake up rested, ever again.
revel in the simple beauty of things when they actually work, like taking a nice poop once in a while.

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Gold-Ad699@reddit

OMG - when I go to bed and realize it was an advil-free day I'm some mixture of stunned and triumphant. Like it's an accomplishment to avoid it for a whole day.

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rhcedar@reddit

revel in the simple beauty of things when they actually work, like taking a nice poop once in a while.

Lol 😆 it is the little things in life that make it worth it.

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OGREtheTroll@reddit

And sometimes it's bigger things too...

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invisiblehamster@reddit

8 + #9. Are the sole reasons for the daily asprine and full glass of water in the morning.

Just how it is now.

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FirstNoel@reddit

Yep. Yesterday I reveled in the fact that I actually fixed the pressure washer. Nothing major, just the soap dispenser fitting broke. I put on a nice cap for it. Sealed up. Worked great from then on.

Soap dispensers never seem to work on them anyway.

My kids were like oh. I was happy with fixing something without using YouTube.

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TheMarriedUnicorM@reddit

I felt it when you listed #6. I had neck surgery and it was good for a while, but many of my issues are back. I’m in so much pain and discomfort again, it’s really discouraging.

As for #8? As a GenX woman: Welcome to (peri)menopause! No matter what you do sleep alludes you. And no one has the answers! Woo hoo! starts to cry from sleep deprivation and hormones

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2boredtocare@reddit

I ate two donuts yesterday. It was my reward for having the Death Star (massive uterine fibroid) scanned. On a Sunday. 132 images.

Yay! So fun.

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CalmCupcake2@reddit

Meal planning allows you to put all of the 'whats for dinner' stress and decision fatigue into one half hour.

I've never had a dishwasher. Meal prep and batch cooking minimizes dishes and clean up, too.

Developing systems and routines helps the grind enormously. Gamify it, if you have to. Why torture yourself?

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Friendly-Horror-777@reddit

I guess I've never really reached adulthood, then. I only do 1-3 when it's absolutely necessary, and 4 is deciding what kind of fast food or microwave meal to get.

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Opinions711@reddit

What to make for dinner is the worst one for me!!

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Pickles_McGee_And_Me@reddit

As someone who is retired, that does not get any better

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PurpleGreyPunk@reddit

Sure I pay bills & occasionally remember to mop the floor, but I don’t subscribe to anything else. I’m too busy finding ways to live life.

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profcate@reddit

This is my life. Here are my additions:

Clean dog poop off deck
Feed dogs

Wish I could eat a donut without having to take a Pepcid or Tums afterwards. Hell, I can barely drink a martini or a gin and tonic anymore without losing the next day to feeling like shit.

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elphaba00@reddit

An alternative for cat owners - clean the kitty litter and fill the bowls.

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FootUpstairs2782@reddit

You forgot pay some bills. Then pay some unexpected bills.

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tinawoman@reddit

If you are a female, add perimenopause and all its “joys” to that…lack of sleep, emotional roller coaster, hot flashes, night sweats, memory issues like you’ve never seen before and on and on…

For work boredom I found a solution at 52 that I wish I had realized in my 20s (when I didn’t know I was ADHD)…2 half time jobs instead of one 40. Made a HUGE difference to me since I thrive with the diversity it gives me. And the fact that my hours are never the same 2 weeks in a row and one of my jobs is from home.

I never made to past 2 years at any job in the past (other than motherhood), usually much less, before I got bored and moved on…now I’m quickly approaching 3 years at each of my jobs and still not bored…so if this would work for anyone else, there’s an idea for ya.

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Professional_Fly3248@reddit (OP)

The Mrs. has perimenopause. That's definitely one of her pillars.

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put_simply@reddit

One of my pillars is to stay out of my emotions on Mondays.

I'm generally a very happy person but 2-3 day weekends where I"m mostly just surrounded by the people I want to be around (wife, kids, dogs, cats and all the little buzzing creatures outside) puts me in a foulish mood come Monday morning at the office. By Tuesday I'm right as rain but its almost like withdraws from My Time. Knowing all this I try to to emotionally react when I get to Mondays and if I feel it coming on I have that very conversation with myself about would this actually bother me if it wasn't Monday.

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Professional_Fly3248@reddit (OP)

The Sunday Scaries as we call it!

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stabbygreenshark@reddit

I call this Sunday Downing (Sunday evening I start to resent Monday and get grumpy) and it definitely hits harder after more than two days off.

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nathanb131@reddit

Famous quote (i think): "Before enlightenment, I chopped wood and carried water. After enlightenment, I chop wood and carry water."

I 100% feel this post. I'm so tired of the constant drudge work. It feels like half my time at home is thinking about or doing washing dishes and prepping food.

When I was younger I always saw those tasks as a waste of my life. I saw old people do them without complaint and didn't really think about it. I mostly assumed they just had no creativity or vision or life had beaten them down too much etc. Didn't think I'd ever be like them! Now that I'm in-between I still resent how much time they take but have accepted them as important. I suppose when I'm old I'll miss being able to do them.

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YouDaManInDaHole@reddit

Laundry: Why do today what you can put off for tomorrow?

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ONROSREPUS@reddit

Ok maybe its just me but I don't do any of that daily.

Maybe that is your problem? lol.

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Clean-Application-50@reddit

I ate the donuts and have type 2 now, but instead of insulin, they stuck me on Mounjaro, and now I am 30lbs lighter and look shredded... still want to eat the donuts.

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KindaKrayz222@reddit

* My routines pillars

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Silly-Power@reddit

If I eat a 200 gram donut now, I gain at least a kg of fat. Don't ask me how that works but it does. And it will take me a month of exercising every day to burn that kg off. Only for it to come galloping back with some friends the one day I decide not to hit the gym.

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ClockOk7733@reddit

Older than you and that’s part of my day. Hobbies and sport will make you whole again. Restore a car. Build a piece of furniture. Break that cycle before you’re dead.

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AardvarkAapocolypse@reddit

Whenever I feel like everyday is the same, I listen to this, and it always helps me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXqblYbUAeI

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AppropriateAmoeba406@reddit

4 is by far the worst. I will happily do 1-3 if someone else decides what’s for dinner.

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wyocrz@reddit

I make a ton of dinner for family, twice a week.

What's so hard about my "Just tell me what you guys want me to make" I'll never figure out.

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