ULPT: Stink up, make the house really unpleasant to live in
Posted by Turbulent_Exit_4240@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 123 comments
I’m subletting a place from tenants who signed for a carpeted apartment. They have a set of keys and stole some stuff while I wasn’t home. I’m moving out in a couple weeks and they’ll be moving in. How can I damage or ruin their apartment discreetly. I don’t want trouble from the landlord. I want to make their place smell horrible, hard to clean, and horrible to live in. I don’t have cat pee
AquaSquatch@reddit
Peel up a corner of the carpet and pour milk. It’ll take a few days to really stink.
kellsdeep@reddit
It will stink forever too
slcrow15@reddit
You are so right. Mom's ice cream pints broke free from the grocery bag and rolled under the front seat. She only figured out what had happened to them 3 months later, mid-August in the southern u.s. We suffered with that smell for a year until none of us could take it anymore and she got rid of it. If you can throw a car away, well, that's what she did.
sparkledaunicorn@reddit
Vinegar and baking soda. I once let a gallon of milk explode in my back seat... 😱 Vinegar first to kill the cultures or whatever they're called and then baking soda to get rid of the odor
idk-ijustgot-here@reddit
My friends cat accidentally slept in his car overnight. Jumped in while unloading groceries. Found out when he left for work in the morning. (Luckily cat was fine and it wasnt hot)
His car smelled like cat piss for MONTHS. Perhaps let a few strays in to chill for a day? Lol
Inevitable_Resolve23@reddit
my kid peed in his pants in the car baby seat which somehow had an internal void and no way of getting in there to clean it out. I called the manufacturer and they were absolutely stunned that I'd asked. like the woman on the phone was just kind of floored by the question. It was an eventuality they had not even considered. They could not conceive of a product made for children that might need to be opened up to clean out some kind of substance. They made it seem so far out of the realm of possibility that I as a sleep deprived parent had to check that I wasn't being unreasonable.
It took months for the piss smell to subside. Months.
idk-ijustgot-here@reddit
I mean, of course car seats shouldnt be taken apart for safety reasons. The safety could be compromised. BUT EVEN THEN, you think they would make them waterproof or something in case of event like that. Thats awful! 😭
chicken_tendigo@reddit
The sheer number of molded nooks and crannies that are designed into carseats is downright absurd, verging on diabolical. These people who design the damn things know that babies and little kids don't have control of their bodily secretions/extrusions, right? They know that toddlers' sole missions in life vary from "let's smear applesauce everywhere that all of our limbs can possibly reach" to "I'm not feeling good and I'm going to shower every square inch of upholstery in this vehicle with hotdog vomit", right????? And they design the fucking seats with internal voids that collect liquid? And straps that aren't supposed to be fucking washed? And covers that are spot clean with water only?????
There is evil in this world, and it's the fucking people who designed car seats not to be able to be disassembled and pressure washed by tired moms and dads. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk today.
Ordinary-Watch3377@reddit
Or if you want it to take a while, spread milk powder in a place that gets wet/damp occasionally, then it's less likely to be linked to you because it will take longer...
Unhappy-Idea-1956@reddit
Shrimp in the curtain rods
BunnyBabe27@reddit
This is the way
dtaf2000@reddit
that is not something that you shrimply cover up. That’s diabolical
CatNamedSiena@reddit
Do you mean diavololical?
OriginalIronDan@reddit
That’s just shellfish.
CatNamedSiena@reddit
Stop being so crabby
MaoTseTrump@reddit
I sold all my crabs at the Prawn Shop
wanawachee@reddit
I sea what you did there
Pineapple-Comfort838@reddit
Yes, read about this years ago and it has stunk with me. Best petty revenge!
SeriousBoots@reddit
Shrimps can dry out pretty quickly tho.
SeriousBoots@reddit
Coyote bait. Beaver bait. Most hunting bate is straight up concentrated piss and pheromones and stuff. Nasty and sticky.
throwaway983143@reddit
Lift up the carpet a bit and put the shrimp under the carpet
DMmeDuckPics@reddit
That's a 20 yr old Facebook post at this point. Allow me to introduce you to the modern update:
The humble potato. https://www.reddit.com/r/CleaningTips/s/tQJk9dLbX4
purvaka@reddit
Came here to say this. Or in the vents
yoyonoyolo@reddit
Came to say vents
Isalecouchinsurance@reddit
Release a box of crickets, they smell awful and are really hard to get rid of...plus, ya know... they're crickets!
KnotUndone@reddit
Hide a potato in a vent. It will take a while to liquify. It is the smell of death.
bbbbbbbbbbbab@reddit
I'm not one to condone this behavior. But I have heard that under many sinks, you can see holes right back into the walls themselves. It would be just terrible if someone poured pickle juice, fish sauce, milk, meat directly into the walls this way....
Weak-Investigator503@reddit
Also peel up a corner of the carpet and pour sugar.
gkpetrescue@reddit
What’s that do?
Possible-Raccoon2582@reddit
ants
NickWitATL@reddit
Fish emulsion fertilizer. I use it in my organic gardens. It smells VILE. If it gets on your hands, it takes multiple washings to get rid of the stench.
fibonacci_veritas@reddit
Can confirm.
Comprehensive_Tell23@reddit
They tell no lies. This shit stinks, don’t see the smell lasting forever tho.
punkass_book_jockey8@reddit
On your hands it does! Smear some fish emulsion undiluted on a few strategic door handles and places you frequently touch, you will notice. Some knobs or light switches, wouldn’t take much.
NickWitATL@reddit
Or smear in air ducts and inside cabinets. 🤔😝
punkass_book_jockey8@reddit
Just wear gloves. That stuff is very oily and doesn’t wash off well at all. Even when you’re using dawn and hot water. I learned this the hard way organic gardening. It’s basically rotten fish paste you mix with water.
KahurangiNZ@reddit
Multiple lemon juice or vinegar rinses will help cut through the volatile fatty acids and get it off your skin.
I use this trick to remove Greasy Ram Stank from my hands after skritching the lads, cause there's nothing like smelling of randy ram for days to make your life fun ;-)
NickWitATL@reddit
Definitely oily. When I dilute in my watering can, there's a foul greasy layer left behind. Absolutely rancid, but my plants love it.
chicken_tendigo@reddit
I wonder if that place has hollow core doors 😈
KahurangiNZ@reddit
Oooh, evil! Drill a few holes in the top where no-one will ever look, drip in your favourite stinky liquid, and bam :-)
EF_Boudreaux@reddit
Alaska fish fertilizer
Neighbors hate it for an hour on Thursdays
NickWitATL@reddit
Hahaha. A friend stopped by on short notice last week. I had just finished fertilizing with fish emulsion. "Sorry my yard smells like rotten fish." 😒
EF_Boudreaux@reddit
A friend volunteers at the Fairchild orchid house. She recommended it
All my $5 Walmart orchids bloomed like crazy this year, so I started putting it on everything
punkass_book_jockey8@reddit
I also use this to garden, amazing for an organic garden but not for the faint of heart.
shotstraight@reddit
I don’t want trouble from the landlord. I want to make their place smell horrible, hard to clean, and horrible to live in. I don’t have cat pee.
As a person that cleans up places when other move out and makes repairs, anything you do like this will fuck the landlord who in turn will take all of you to court. The court will then fuck you.
I take pictures of every inch of a dwelling or rental when I am done of all walls, ceilings, carpets, floors, closets and alliances and turn copies over to the landlords as proof of condition before the place is rented. They have proof of condition when the lease was signed, and anything that happens is on whoever puts their name on that lease.
gkpetrescue@reddit
Then s/he better make sure it’s something they can’t figure out !
HexAndSnacks@reddit
This. I've seen enough second-hand through family that own and lease properties that I straight up do not want to ever deal with that.
The only way that the property owner might have recourse is if they illegally subletted, and even then, it would probably be a huge pain in the ass to recover costs.
However, it would be really unfortunate if that fish emolision stuff were to find its way into their cars' intake vents a week or two after they're all cozy in their new place, with their ill gotten goods...and harder to connect to OP...
Homebrewer01@reddit
Putrescine, Cadaverine (lab/research supply store), animal urine (doe, fox, etc---hunting section of your favorite store).
It depends on if you want it to smell like death or piss.
gkpetrescue@reddit
Cadaverine? Sounds yummy!
3X_Cat@reddit
Men carry those two chemicals in a little bag below their waist.
ipostunderthisname@reddit
Cadaverine is stored in the balls?
3X_Cat@reddit
Close enough. Sperm contains putrescine and cadaverine.
ipostunderthisname@reddit
Dang
bottomlless@reddit
The piss of death.
SubstantialPressure3@reddit
I would put something stinky in a false bottom in a drawer. False bottoms aren't that hard to make.
Inevitable_Resolve23@reddit
you need False Liquid Ass to go in that false bottom.
SubstantialPressure3@reddit
Or a couple small sardines or anchovies. Or a couple small pieces of raw meat.
Jacktheforkie@reddit
He’ll pull out the drawer and drop it under
Designer-Swan-3687@reddit
Step one: buy white onions
Step two: give yourself time to let them rot, like liquify. Leave a couple in the garbage disposal but don’t turn it on.
Leave half of one in an air vent.
When you get them nasty, let them sit on the welcome mat or rug for as long as you can. The fabric holds onto that sour smell
suicxdebby66@reddit
Came here to say white onions. Idc it stinkkksssss even if in trash can or ina bag
Adventurous_Bee4783@reddit
Fox piss. It will ruin everything. I picked up a bottle at Rural King and took a whiff...instant and lifelong regret. My husband laughed and laughed, that was a great day for him.
Lots_of_bricks@reddit
Pour simple syrup or sugar water all over the edges of the inside and outside. Ants and bugs will move in
Shibi_SF@reddit
What if you put sugar in the electrical outlets, like behind, in the walls? I have not tried this but… I hate ants, I really really hate ants. Sugar or something similar that would attract ants in the walls behind the outlets would make for a very unpleasant living situation.
drakshadow369@reddit
I was thinking about walk around someone's foundation pouring corn syrup. That way they wouldn't see anything. Or dig up some of the tiny ant mounds, get the queen and place a couple of them in the weep holes on a brick house with some honey to keep her happy and fed. Before too long she will start a new colony. Figure that would be ants for days.
Shibi_SF@reddit
Oooh diabolical. I hate ants so much! This is such a good way to launch an evil ant attack.
3X_Cat@reddit
Meat
PTSDreamer333@reddit
Anyone can look up and buy things like crickets or termites right off the internet.
chicken_tendigo@reddit
Piss disc
But no, really. If you want to leave them a surprise that will absolutely reek once there all moved in, just accidentally spill some milk in a few out-of-the-way carpeted corners. Like, behind stuff like major appliances. Maybe a wee dab of fish sauce, too. A light sprinkle, somewhere like in a bathroom cabinet or behind the hot water heater/under the microwave. A shrimp or two, pushed into the middle of the curtain rod in the bedroom. A sprinkle of powdered buck urine under the threshold kick-plate, so when they track wetness in it'll really rehydrate nicely into a paste bit by bit.
You'd be a terrible person to do any of these things, though.
PTSDreamer333@reddit
Once when I left a nightmare rental with physically abusive landlords. I popped a whole frozen fish, still wrapped in the plastic, poked holes in it and shoved it as far as possible using a wire deep into the vents.
I still wonder how that went... It was winter.
Samuel_L_Blackson@reddit
I bet, depending on the HVAC, you can get into the register and put a bowl of milk.
My HVAC has a large open area where you put the filter, and there's also an open space with nothing in it that the air goes through.
PM-ME-YOUR-BUTTSHOLE@reddit
If you can get into any part of the hvac ducts, your options are limitless. Raw chicken, raw fish, liquid ass, etc. anything you don’t like the smell of, just slap it in there and let the fun begin.
januaryemberr@reddit
Fish sauce in the floor vents. Or pull up the corner of the carpet and put it under. Tuck it back into the baseboard.
gsko5000@reddit
Oxo cube in shower head if you want them to smell
AIphaWoIf@reddit
Soak a rag in chicken juice and hide it somewhere. Fucking STINKS
Mike_Raphone99@reddit
Upper Decker in the toilet
splitfinity@reddit
Bag of frozen mini shrimp.
Shrimp in the couch cracks.
Shrimp behind outlet covers.
Pull out bottom drawers, put shrimp underneath, drawers back in.
Shrimp in the floor vents.
Shrimp inside any throw pillows with zippers, into the middle of the stuffing.
Shrimp behind the fridge where the compressor is.
Delicious_Match_9102@reddit
This is the way
Tovahn@reddit
I moved into a place once where the previous owners had cats with fleas. No problems for a couple months, but there was kitty litter spilled in the heating vents and once we hit the hottest part of summer, the eggs hatched. Brutal flea infestation for an entire August.
I am not recommending this, not sure how you'd even source it, but it did make living there unbearable for a while
Thewondersoverboard@reddit
Dead animal off the road in the vents. Easy peasy
heyoheatheragain@reddit
Throw some lemons behind the fridge. Lemons don’t smell when they rot, but they will attract fruit flies.
bitpartmozart13@reddit
Fish sauce in rugs in hard to clean places, preferably where the sun will hit that spot. That thing rots and will stink up the place.
Unionizemyplace@reddit
Microwave fish
FlyBuy3@reddit
Rub fenugreek powder into soft furnishings.
MisChef@reddit
That doesn't make sense, I thought that stuff smells like maple syrup
pik-ku@reddit
If all else fails
ipostunderthisname@reddit
Buy a HUGE bulk can of valerian root capsules
Empty the capsules into the carpet and rub it in, all of them
The foot smell will never go away, it will always smell like sack of dirty socks filled with old Parmesan
Alert-Performance199@reddit
Place and hide bits of broccoli around too
ballskindrapes@reddit
Get syringe, put milk in it. Stab into wall, inject healthy amounts.
Puzzled-Stranger1658@reddit
Inject healthy amounts 🤣🤣🤣
Who_Your_Mommy@reddit
Milk in the back of a closet.
Tallywhacker73@reddit
How are you going to do any of this without causing "trouble for the landlord" - who's presumably innocent? If my apartment reeks, I'm going to the landlord to fix it. Right? And if he can't show that it's something the tenants (or you) specifically did, then it's his problem. Be an asshole to people who deserve it, don't be an asshole to people who don't.
Holiday_Bar3967@reddit
landlords are assholes.
hotbutnotathot@reddit
diesel on the carpets. make them think there’s a gas leak 😊
OGMom2022@reddit
Roaches LOVE dog food.
Jonny_HYDRA@reddit
A can of Black beans.
After 2 days of sitting out, black beans smell like human shit. A single black bean can seriously ruin your whole day. Grind them in the carpet, smear them into drapes, upholstery...get creative.
NayaBR@reddit
Paint the walls with milk + eggs
deerchortle@reddit
Coyote pee in a vent
punkass_book_jockey8@reddit
Fox urine and fish emulsion fertilizer are about the two worst smells you can easily and legally obtain that take a unified act of Congress to get removed.
They also sell pigment powder that’s invisible until on your skin then stains it purple for several days.
Kozmic-Stardust@reddit
Raw chicken legs in a mason jar full of milk. Leave a couple inches air at the top. Cap tightly. Place inside air duct,preferably near the bedeoom.. When it finally blows, it will leave a foul stench that won't easily dissipate.
TriumphDaytona@reddit
Find a male cat to spray the area.
IfTheHeadFitsWearIt@reddit
I’d use one of the stinky suggestions, but inside the domes of the light fixtures, so when the bulbs warm it up, it becomes a stink diffuser. Just make sure it’s something that you can’t see when the light is on.
gxbcab@reddit
Cigarette smoke will linger if you get enough inside. You could probably cover it with some glade plugins and then take all the plugins when you move so they’re stuck with stale cigarette smoke smell. Plus they probably won’t get their deposit back if they were smoking inside.
SqueakyFarts99@reddit
Put a combination of sugar and yeast in the vents. Eventually, the place will smell like a dead body.
IrresponsibleAuthor@reddit
crack open a can of tuna, pop open an air vent, and jam it as far back in there as you can. preferably around a corner. voila.
Notsohiddenfox@reddit
Set it on fire. Maybe you sure sock wear a so identity they take take your sock instead.
Tell won't discrete on you is bonus: fire
Ilike3dogs@reddit
Ilike3dogs@reddit
I don’t understand a single word of this
Unhappy-Idea-1956@reddit
wat
Zealousideal-Top8801@reddit
Fish sauce on the carpets
suburban-mom-friend@reddit
Spill some dairy down the back of your produce drawers in the fridge. Disconnect the garbage disposal from power. Leave some water in a washing machine and close the door.
You could also turn off the power to the kitchen appliances via the breaker box. They may not notice until it’s too late, best case scenario they end up replacing a fridge a couple times before they figure it out.
Bk_Punisher@reddit
Visit your local fish market, get fish guts and you’re golden.
attunedmuse@reddit
Potatoes. Leave them in the vents, slice them up and wedge them in nooks and crannies. They will take a few weeks to start stinking and then it will be strait decomposition.
flyingpiggos@reddit
Milk mixed with fish sauce in a spray bottle and spray that shit on everything fabric
3X_Cat@reddit
There's a product called "Bee Go" used in beekeeping to make bees leave the hive. It smells terrible!! (n-butyric anhydride). Just pour some in a jar and leave it in a cabinet in the kitchen with the cabinet door open. Horrible smelling stuff.
Full_Ad9666@reddit
Inject milk in to places they can’t see
gorgeously_mytruself@reddit
Ok, so I don't condone this atrocious behavior, but: you could eat a liquid diet for a week or two, after the diarrhea starts, you can use this to paint the underside of every cabinet, surface, table, and chair in their house. this is not original, but happens to be the most repulsive thing I’ve ever seen from the Internet... I kinda really hope that you don’t do this, but if you’re going for a shock and wow, factor, this is probably your best choice!
… plz don't…🤦🏾♀️
Thin_Thought_7129@reddit
here you go
T0nysoprano@reddit
Fart spray on furnace air filter
JAKESTEEL77@reddit
Have old School HVAC? Turn it off before leaving, dump 3 cans of sardines in oil in it.
Potential-Jaguar6655@reddit
Fish emulsion fertilizer dumped into the curtain rods. They won’t weigh what shrimp-filled rods would, harder to find or suspect.
Doe urine spilled into every single air vent would be a real treat, especially once someone flips the heat on. Not sure you could ever clean that out fully.
nursestephykat@reddit
It would be a shame if someone were to accidentally spill a bottle of fermented fish sauce in the oven especially if the next person to use it turns it on to preheat it, as one generally does.
This stuff smells pungent enough right out of the bottle, but the oven would likely contain most of the smell; until it was turned on and a potent burnt rotten fish smell permeates the entire house. It would likely take a long time for the smell to dissipate and it may even cling to carpets or other fabric objects in the house. It would also likely take them a long time and a great deal of effort to get the oven clean enough to use again without the smell coming back.
classicgirl65@reddit
Fish in the walls.
SmallPeederWacker@reddit
Buy 3 bottles of liquid ass. Pour it all out. I did this to someone a while back and their place still has a faint hint of ASS.