Why are you single?

I work internationally. Met my girl S in Ethiopia. I'd already accepted a contract in the Philippines when we met. Fell in love and were long distance for 3 years (during COVID ...) , I managed to get back to Ethiopia when we were online and proposed. I researched extensively where she would be able to join me. Settled on Georgia (Caucasian not US) because my employer openly advertised that they'd help with the process and the country has evisas for Ethiopians. They did not help, she was racially abused by immigration, had her luggage vandalised and was deported on the extortionate open ticket I bought for her. She had a nervous breakdown, we both lost 3 years of our life, and I've lost so much money. £10k easily on failed flights, paperwork and I've halved my net salary, increased my hours and doubled my expenses moving to Georgia. We've both had chronic depression ever since. I went back to Ethiopia in the middle of their civil war to try and persuade her to try again. She was emotionally broken, so was I. And Addis Ababa is not somewhere I can see myself spending my life. A week was pretty tough. I think I'm ready to *try* to move on, but the process will be very tough. I asked a girl out before I left Georgia for a bit on holiday. She's so much younger than me (35 Vs 20) and I already know it probably is too big a gap. She's much more attractive but let's be honest, the average 35 year old has more in common with a 90 year old than a 20 year old. Not so much a generational divide as a chasm. But I know it's the right thing to do on some level. Because it's been 5 years since I met S, she wants kids (so do I) and now she's about to hit late thirties. Can't risk wasting somebody's time like that again. So it's much younger and try for a relationship, fuck around with older chicks in their late 40s or be celibate. All three options are on the table. We'll see, but given the trauma of the past 4 years combined with the depression/PTSD I have going on with other unrelated things, I'm a tough sell. It's hard to make somebody else like you when you don't like yourself.