Whag can I do instead of rotting on the sofa or in bed all day?
Posted by soy-sauce-sexy@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 248 comments
So I suffer from depression and I find it really hard to leave my house. I work 13 hour shifts 3 days a week and on my days off I’m lonely, depressed and miserable and I spend my entire days off in bed or sat on the sofa. Sometimes not even on my phone, just lying here staring at the roof. In my head I want to get up and do something but I physically can’t get myself to do anything. Alls I can do is go for walks but there is no where left to walk. I want to change. I want to better my life and try to heal myself. I could probably allow myself £20 a week to do something, but I don’t know what. Is there anything I can do such an a fun activity or an amazing place I can visit?
Anyone else been depressed and managed to self-heal? How please
Human_Subject_5483@reddit
I dnt have time to read through the comments to see if this has been suggested before. Martial arts, talk to the ones in your area, explain your life to them and go for one that wants to train you. It makes little difference what type or style, there will be clubs who will want you, pick one and just don't quit.
Forsaken-Device-6093@reddit
I wouldn’t in a million years just go for a walk raw dogging it. But oh my god I can walk for miles and miles listening to a podcast.
I walked 5ks every night for a few months, then started cough to 5k and then a few months after that I was running 15ks and I’d gone from 112kg to 90kg.
Just start walking mate, I’m not saying it’ll solve everything, and you may need to speak to a therapist but it’ll be a massive help.
2point4children@reddit
I'm not sure how you feel about this, but I was depressed after coming out of a 6-year relationship in my mid-20s. I had no friends, didn't know anyone outside of work, so i plucked up the courage to work in a bar that attracted the Uni massive.
I never looked back. It was an amazing time. I found friends, we had a good laugh and more than anything I found myself again.
Safe-Barracuda-7475@reddit
Advice incoming is completely off top of head with no expertise.
Try something like the pomodoro method:
Set your timer for 25 minutes - and a task eg clean bathroom, do low impact cardio, iron clothes Take a five min sit down break Repeat
If you're like me the first few rounds will be 25 mins of unfocused unproductive time followed by a 25 minutes break...but after about five rounds I get into it. And by the end, having probably only had an hour's productivity, I feel so proud.
Alternatively, volunteer: commit to something ppl are relying upon you for.
Plan your day or week. You will likely fail to do it all, but acknowledge where you achieve and take pride in that.
Shake - like stand up and shake your body to release anxiety, like animals do post being chased by a predator.
Get into really trashy novels.
Think: what's one thing I can do for tomorrow's me (one thing today that will make my future life easier)
See a Dr, get an intervention that may help you overcome
Hide your phone - it's too easy to lie with the phone and feel pants by end of day.
scudinho@reddit
I've suffered from depression most of my adult life, when in really low. I find walking helps the most. It's gonna suck but you'll realize after you tire your body out sufficiently your mind will be quiet and the negative feedback loops can be changed.
eiscosogin@reddit
There's a nuclear physics degree course on the MIT YouTube. Why not learn nuclear physics?
Esqulax@reddit
Geocaching.
If your mindset is that theres 'nowhere else to walk', Check out geocaching.com.
Worldwide treasure hunt, where people hide small caches all over the place - In cities and countrysides alike and you use your phone with its GPS capabilities to find them Years ago, I was like 'I could go out, but what's the point? Where would I go? the same routes are bring now' - Now when I go out, it's with purpose and direction. I'd have a look at the map on their website and plan a route just to find caches. There are even 'series' of caches which are along a trail.
They also have multi caches, where you'd get somewhere, find a series of plaques or something, get numbers from it and use those numbers to get the real co-ordinates which will point to where it's hidden.
There are also puzzle caches - The description will have some sort of puzzle to figure out for you to get the co-ordinates. Most times the puzzle can be figured out while at home, then you use those co-ords on your next adventure out You can use part of that £20 to catch a bus or train to some further away places.
There are also different 'grades' of 1-5. It's on 2 metrics - Terrain and Difficulty. A terrain rating of 1 means that you could get it while pushing a pram or something. You can walk up to it with no issues. A rating of 5 might require specialist equipment (Usually it'll tell you in the description if thats the case).
The difficulty is how well it's hidden. It could be an old camera-roll container jammed into a crack in a wall for a 1 or it could be a cleverly hollowed out rock that blends right in to the ones around it. If you have a look on /r/geocaching you can see some of the amazing elaborate ways people hide the caches.
The main benefit is that it's gets you outside, and at the end of the day/week/month, you have an actual thing you can look at to see what you've done, and side-support/encouragement from the community.
Ambitious_Jelly3473@reddit
Loads of great advice here but it seems that the most consistent (and most difficult) is that first step and talking to a Dr. Unfortunately you're the only one who can change your life and you've taken a massive metaphorical step by recognising that there's a problem, which is immense.
Your GP may be able to recommend local support groups but failing that, if you look on Facebook or similar, you'll likely find a local Andy Mans group or similar, essentially informal support groups. They can sometimes feel less daunting than the professionally organised, NHS sponsored groups.
As you probably know, exercise is a great tool in the fight against depression. Getting out for a walk is a great start. Swimming would also help but I've found Man vs Fat to be really helpful. Football aimed at chunky chaps, which has the benefit of motivating you to lose some weight, get some exercise and keeps you honest, as you're also supporting your team mates. Although it's not set up as a mental health group, it's one of the fortunate side effects. Many of the lads at my group have suffered in the past, and it opens up opportunities to talk.
I also found that setting goals helped. They're dependent on you and they can be reviewed. It can be simple stuff, like walking for 15 minutes every day or going to the cinema once a month or you can aim for something bigger, like training for Yorkshire 3 Peaks, but set them up to be incremental and achievable.
Different things work for different people but I hope you find what works for you. You've made a huge step posting today, now you need the next small one.
Throwawayanon948373@reddit
I have to trick myself in to being kind to myself. I worked with a therapist for 6 months on taking myself out for a walk, even a tiny one, and COULD NOT DO IT.
So…. I started to volunteer as a dog walker for a charity that tries to keep dogs with their disabled, sick and elderly owners (Cinnamon trust, UK).
I now go out walking 3-4 times a week, rain or shine because I have to for the old lady and the dog. But the benefits for my own mental and physical health have been incredible… and my self esteem.
And remember, baby steps are still steps!
We were all taught ‘if a jobs worth doing, it’s worth doing right’. That’s BS!
If a jobs worth doing, it’s worth doing. For 10 mins, 5 mins, 30 seconds. 5 mins of movement is better than nothing. 30 seconds of teeth brushing is better than nothing.
I would also suggest speaking to your GP or a Social Prescriber about your mental health, so help link you to services and activities that might entice you to go out. But, tricking your brain is my best advice.
And removing barriers! I drive to the park which is a 5 min walk when I want to walk by myself. I know that I’ll be tired when I’m done, plus, driving makes it easier to get started. It sounds like you need to break the inertia/stuckness as they say.
GoodTelevision9197@reddit
I was similar for a while. Then I found Muay Thai. The buzz I have after training is up with with cocaine. Just had a month away from it due to work injury but yesterday was my first session back and I’m literally a different person already in such a positive way. Anything that’s high intensity and blows of steam will fill you full of clean dopamine…. Instead of the dirty dopamine you get from doom scrolling
CapnButtercup@reddit
I suggest you go to your GP. You may need medication or therapy/counselling for clinical depression.
Not everything needs to be, or can be, ‘self-healed’. Sometimes you need actual medical intervention and there is nothing wrong with that.
Ok-Somewhere911@reddit
When I was that level of depressed I eventually had to accept it was time to ask for help. If you can't even get up to go to the toilet I don't think Go Ape or an arcade or the seaside is going to help.
That said you could try taking up an indoor hobby. I tend to find it's easier to motivate myself to fold a paper crane than get it together to go outside and do a thing, which seems far too insurmountable. Small victories and small serotonin boosts can slowly motivate you to do bigger things.
But really it's ok to say you can't do it on your own.
soy-sauce-sexy@reddit (OP)
I have spent money on paints and fancy pens to draw art and stuff to knit but I buy the stuff then can’t bring myself to do anything with them. So they are just cluttered in my house somewhere. I think in my head I want to get up and paint and my body just doesn’t move :(
Ok-Somewhere911@reddit
Then honestly talk to your doctor. If you can't motivate yourself even to eat or go to the toilet how are you going to motivate yourself to get up, shower, dress, travel to a destination, do an activity, socialise, travel back?
It took me three years to find the right combination of medication and therapy, so even if you've tried before and had no luck, persevere. Because sometimes it's just too bad to be able to self-heal as you put it.
MyMaisie@reddit
What's the deal about mentioning going to the toilet again? OP never said that was an issue.
Ok-Somewhere911@reddit
Yes they did.
soy-sauce-sexy@reddit (OP)
If I have something planned I have a lot of energy and I’m generally happy but as soon as I get home I depressed again. I went Blackpool last week and I had all the energy in the world was so happy. But as soon as I got in the car to come home i just felt so depressed and upset. That’s why I was considering trying to get out a few days a week see if that helps me becahse I really do hate being stuck in my house
gertrudemcfuzzz@reddit
For years I have been like this. Tried everything in the book to get better and always fell back into the same pattern. I know that we do suffer from the generation before us who saw antidepressants as something just losers have to do, because you can't get your shit sorted out yourself. This thinking is still ingrained in so many people. I cannot stress how LONG it took me and how bad that place was until I finally broke down and tried antidepressants. The period to get used to them is not the nicest, but I take them for 6 months now and I feel SO much better! I'm on the highest dose now and hope to get down at some point. But so far I'm doing good, I get out of the house again, I get things done. And of course there is still bad days, but it is a catalyst to at least get better. It is work, to do that step and if you have anyone to help you with the GP if you can't manage, ask a friend or family or even working colleague, or maybe you have resources at work. But it's important to do something because it can't go on like this forever and you deserve to be happy! Once you come to the point where you get the motivation to go out again you can think about going off antidepressants again. I can just say, they saved my life. I hope you find something that works for you. I send you all the love and strength to get out of this ❤️
Serious_Escape_5438@reddit
Join something where you're around other people, exercise is probably the ideal, a walking or running group, gym classes, something regular that you're committing to. Maybe even volunteering. Getting some endorphins and socialising will do wonders for your mood.
itsmericj@reddit
Just to add to the below comment, depending on where in the country you are councils have local directories with stuff to do.
Also you have energy and motivation to go out you go to work 13 hours for 3 days. Motivation is there your environment at home is causing your mood to dip it’s become a trigger for your mood.
You need to build something regular into your week to motivate you - you sound more like you have boredom than depression. You have a choice you can spend time just doing nothing or you can push against it sometimes the first part of the battle is telling yourself you aren’t going to accept just lying there.
Lots of free things about, but also consider volunteering look at your local cvs or anywhere looking for volunteers if you like being outdoors is there a local gardening volunteering place, if you want connection see what charities are about age uk I think operate a companion line for people with social isolation - as long as you have a curiosity for people and their lives.
Ok-Somewhere911@reddit
Ok, you say you do go walking, could you see if you can join a local walking group to make it a bit more interesting? Or you could ask around local dog rescues and see if any of them are looking for volunteer dog walkers, or that borrow my dog app? A furry pal to walk with much improves the situation I think.
Are you an artistic person? You mentioned painting, there could be a class you could take, or some other crafty things that'll get you out. When I was in my worst bed rotting stage my mam dragged me to a pottery class that I ended up really loving. I'd manage to crawl out of my funk to go once a fortnight. Depending on where you live there might be all sorts you could try.
Impossible-Fly-2497@reddit
Bob Ross video
marmiteyogurt@reddit
Have you talked to your dr about this? To either get anti depressants or possible adjust dosage if you’re already on them? If not would be worth a chat with them
soy-sauce-sexy@reddit (OP)
I had amitriptyline a months supply I felt abit better but when I tried to re order them they said I can’t have them and dr rejected my order
marmiteyogurt@reddit
I’d go back and talk to them or ring up and be like so now what basically ?
Ralucahippie@reddit
Request a consultation rather than just a medication refill. Does your GP surgery do Econsult forms /online booking?
Ralucahippie@reddit
Is there any chance you may have ADHD? What you're describing sounds like executive dysfunction, which can be an ADHD symptom.
Also what looks like depression in people with ADHD could also be something called rejection-sensitive dysphoria- it manifests as an extreme and paralysing emotional pain in relation to real, perceived or anticipated rejection. (Your mention that you worry about people judging your body shape when going out, in combination with executive dysfunction, made me think of it). RSD doesn't respond much to most antidepressants, but it responds to ADHD medications, because it's a different type of brain imbalance.
If you felt like the antidepressants helped, there is a chance it's regular depression with or without ADHD rather than ADHD with RSD. Either way, with antidepressants you have to make a commitment to take them for at least 4-6 months before you can tell for sure "yep, they work for me" /"nope, they don't work for me" /"I feel ready to come off them". ADHD medications are the opposite, they have short term effects so you can much more easily start them /stop them /switch them as needed.
Suedehead88@reddit
Get back to the GP to get prescribed medication again then ask for follow up from the PCN nurse at the practice. I had this and they would just phone prior to repeat prescription being due to check its efficacy and any side effects. I found this helpful
jiggjuggj0gg@reddit
Amitriptyline is a really strange one to get you started on, it's a very old fashioned antidepressant. Do you get headaches? They're far more often prescribed for those than mental health issues these days.
A lot of GPs have mental health nurses now who have a bit more time to talk you through treatment options. Normally they will start you on an SSRI, like Sertraline, and you'll need to be monitored for a while to check they're working, adjust the dose, and check for side effects. But they can be really incredible and give you the kick start motivation to really start living your life again. I think they could be worth a try for you.
Meowskiiii@reddit
Yeah, you have to go back and see them to check of they are working or causing any issues. Get a relationship with your doctor, go back. Talk therapy is worth a go too. I still use what I learned in CBT even though I ended up needing a higher level of care.
Kirk10kirk@reddit
Antidepressants are not something you will gain from going off or on over short periods of time.
LadyNajaGirl@reddit
That’s a major problem OP. Having anti anxiety meds taken away from you is harsh but also damaging, as coming off them ‘cold turkey’ is really hard. Please contact your GP again. It sounds like they were doing you some good.
Away-Ad4393@reddit
I think a doctor likes to see a patient regularly before signing a repeat prescription for anti depressants,it may be worth going. Your doctor may also be able to help you manage your weight, if it’s something you feel you want help with. Going to work 3 days a week is an achievement so don’t be too hard on yourself OP.
violentvioletss@reddit
Yes because they give you a months supply to see how you get you have to go back to the doctor and discuss it with them. They then might up your dose or try you on something else. You may have to go back another time before they put you on a repeat prescription and even then you will likely still have to go in for a medication review every 6 months to a year.
ThePinkVulvarine@reddit
Try just achieving one thing a day. Be it out a wash load on, go shopping, tidy up or any other task. It will make you feel as if youx didn't waste your day and it's a small step into getting up and doing anything.
Delicious-Desk6591@reddit
Try watching a YouTube video or join some online communities for the hobby to gain some creative inspiration, you might even find some local workshops in the area or form a community yourself
purplewaterbottle123@reddit
Sign up to workshops! There are a lot of free ones when you know where to look. I find it hard to motivate myself in the house on my own, but I like attending workshop because they kind of "force" me (in a good way) to do it
AbjectGovernment1247@reddit
Can you pick one of those things to try, but put on a timer and say I'm only going to do this for 5 minutes.
I used to find those just 5 minutes turned in longer and I eventually started to enjoy myself. It can take some time for us to retrain out brains to accept feeling good again.
IansGotNothingLeft@reddit
Please speak to a doctor. Please. At the point you are at, you aren't going to be able to work your way through it by sheer will. Hobbies and activities will come when you're on your way to recovery. Medication or therapy (or both) are what you are currently looking for. Also speak to the doctor about your weight and think about the reasons for it. I put on many stone after my mum died because I was eating my way through grief. If you are eating because you're miserable, please also mention that to the doctor.
Your work also sounds like extremely hard work and possibly unsociable. This could also be a compounding factor. Speak to your boss about the possibility of changing shifts for mental health reasons. If they won't budge, once you are getting help and feel like you can manage it you should start looking at other jobs.
rushritein@reddit
I havent read all the comments yet, but just want to say that besides chatting to your doctor, DANCE! It's great for mental and physical health and costs nothing. You can just turn the radio up, move as much as you are able in your own house and no one will see you so you dont have to feel self concious. Just start small - one song a day perhaps and then build up from there. It will help with the weight loss and boost your seratonin levels too.
dibblah@reddit
I hope you don't mind me asking, but what does "help" look like? I am at that stage and I've contacted a few therapists, I realised I might as well use my savings to try to get better. But I'm so skeptical that talking to someone will make any difference, what can they tell me I don't already know? I'm just curious as to what it looked like for people to seek help with depression.
PsychologicalDog6482@reddit
Talking to someone helps, it really does. You're not taking to them for advice or a magical cure. They're judgement-free people who will listen to you and sometimes help frame your thinking in a more constructive way. I get what you're saying, I felt the same. I'm quite emotionally intelligent so I doubted that they would say anything I hadn't already figured out for myself. But just the act of talking it out, expressing myself, helped.
FilmFanatic1066@reddit
Therapy is a long journey sometimes, I’ve been seeing my current therapist for over 2 years, over that period of time I’ve gone from weekly sessions down to monthly gradually over time
faroffland@reddit
It teaches you tools to help you cope and manage your emotions. If you struggle with suicidal ideation, it can also keep you safe in crisis as well.
I’ve had a severe mood and trauma disorder since I was 15, my NHS diagnosis is ‘severe recurrent depressive disorder with trauma’ but it has been diagnosed as bipolar before to give you an idea of what I deal with. I basically have very intense, severe, long periods of depression and have also had some elevated mood episodes before where I have spent a lot, struggled with drinking etc.
I’ve had CBT for depression/anxiety and also ‘trauma informed therapy’. It taught me coping mechanisms for panic attacks - things like box breathing, the SAFE acronym etc. I also really struggle with depersonalisation/dissociation when I’m depression so I learned how to try to feel my body and ground myself during episodes.
It helped me put names to my negative emotions rather than just ‘numb’ or ‘feeling nothing’, and then ways to process them safely e.g. acknowledge I feel bad, tell my husband I feel bad or message a friend/family member, go for a walk/run, write them down. These are tailored to me because I really struggled with opening up and telling people how depressed I actually was, which then made me more likely to harm myself - so learning how to do that with my husband/family is really critical to my safety. I also LOVE being outside and exercising so if I can force myself to get outside, even if it’s just to sit in the garden, it elevates my mood. Even if it’s just a tiny bit during an episode, it all makes a cumulative difference.
The crisis team also help me when I am actively suicidal (so not just passively like ‘I want to die’ but when I actively have a plan and active intention to kill myself). I have had the CMHT visit my house multiple times a week in crisis which has given me a ‘safety check in’, helped my husband cope when I am not functional (so staying in bed all the time, can’t work, can’t really hold a conversation etc), and actively encouraged/reminded me to use these tools to get myself out of crisis.
For me my episodes DO always pass though sometimes it can take months, so sometimes it’s a case of just keeping myself safe until my mood starts to naturally lift back to normal again. People who have never had therapy before think it’s simply ‘talking about how you feel’, but depending on the therapy it is actually far more ‘here’s something you should try and see if it helps’. It’s trial and error but often you walk away with some things that do help your mood. There is no big bang cure for depression though so ultimately it’s all small cumulative behaviours you have to learn and utilise to lift your mood.
So yeah, there is help and it can be very effective, but I will say that unfortunately for a lot of people it’s very difficult to access. In a strange kind of silver lining I am ‘lucky’ that my mental health issues and history are severe, because it means they are taken seriously and once I have accessed help I do get what I need. For people who fall into the ‘mild to moderate category’, it can definitely be really difficult to access help on the NHS and it often takes a year or longer of waiting. But it DOES exist and it CAN help, so keep pushing and fighting for it.
iDidNotStepOnTheFrog@reddit
People trained in psychological therapies can help you get to know how you are thinking and feeling. Really good awareness is an important first step. The things they are really looking for are what makes you tick, your strengths and the ways in which you think and act that don’t serve you. Once you both have gotten to grips with what’s going on and had a proper look, you can start working together to find the right “solution” for what you’ve found, obviously they will lead this process. Th goal is to help you slowly train your brain (like you would train a plant to grow in a certain way) to behave in healthier ways - that is to say - to respond differently and in ways that make you feel good rather than hold you back. You won’t be blamed for the ways in which your brain has learned to be in the world. And it’s not about changing who you are or telling you to be someone different. Different therapy models take different approaches and finding the right one can be troublesome but worth it when you get there.
Some examples of therapy models are CBT, MBT, DBT ACT, EMDR.
I mentioned the idea of training a plant, to stay with the metaphor, you take the same structure of the plant that isn’t working for you and provide the structure for it to grow and be in a way that makes you happy. Over time the plant won’t need the structure anymore, it’ll grow the way it has been trained to do because it is healthier and actually becomes the path of least resistance for the plant. Some pruning is involved (things in your life that make your life not work, whether environmental or unhelpful behaviours) but it’s a nurturing process, not done to tear you apart.
It is always worth mentioning that not all who garden are worth patinage, but that doesn’t mean all gardeners are shit. Look after yourself and don’t be afraid to say if it isn’t working. And if it isn’t, you are allowed and should go looking for someone else who could do the job right
MadWifeUK@reddit
It's a bit of a suck it and see unfortunately. I found counselling and CBT weren't really doing much for me. But last year I had a great Occupational Therapist and that really helped. The first thing she had me do was to keep a diary of my negative thoughts for a week. I felt so stupid going back with an empty page saying "I didn't have any negative thoughts, there was just nothing, no happy thoughts either." But that helped her to know what it was I needed and direct my therapy.
I'm still on the meds (I've been on and off for years, just going to keep on them I think), and I kept all my work and handouts from OT, so if I am slipping I can go back to them and do some work.
The biggest hurdle though is admitting not that you need help, but that you are worthy of the help and of doing the work. That bastard depression tells you over and over that you aren't, but it's lying. You are worthy.
Ok-Somewhere911@reddit
For me it was three years of trying different medications and therapies until I found what worked for me.
It's like treating any illness, sometimes it takes a while to get it right.
AssociationGold8745@reddit
"But really it's ok to say you can't do it on your own" It's okay to say it but the nhs are as much use as a chocolate teapot for accessing support in my area- nae cunt with any actual control over the resourcing actually gives a shit so 'talking to your gp' tends to just mean waiting lists
Cressyda29@reddit
Do the 75 hard challenge. I’ve just start it recently and I was in the exact place you are. Google the rules, but it aims to build habits, resilience and consistency. All of those things stacked create motivation for other parts of your life! It’s quite challenging but very rewarding!
Party_Broccoli_702@reddit
I would suggest getting a rescue dog.
They will keep you company, force you to go out for walks, you will meet other people with dogs.
Being outside exposed to sunlight, surrounded by green, has a mild antidepressant effect.
And stroking a dog releases dopamine and other chemicals in the brain that change your mood.
Mammoth-Goat-7859@reddit
Research. Get on the computer and look up things that you're relatively interested in until you become a subject matter expert. You can do as much or as little as you have spoons for. You can even have the tv on. But you're reading with purpose and it might release of of those brain chemicals that counter the depression.
Rossonerix3@reddit
I take my depression for a walk to the park and just watch squirrels, it's one of a few things that bring me any joy anymore.
marmiteyogurt@reddit
Join a cheap 24 hr gym, you might be nervous of “oh I’m overweight I can’t go to a gym” yes you can! Honestly people won’t judge you and even if a small minority do, fuck them, you’re doing self improvement and they’re just arseholes!
Start slow go walk on a treadmill and watch a show, it will do wonders for your mental health. For social things, look for free groups, look on your local fb group, see if there’s a board game group or a gaming club or similar and go along and chat to people.
soy-sauce-sexy@reddit (OP)
I have been at a gym for a year. It’s literally next door to my house but can’t even bring myself to get out of bed and walk next door. I don’t know why it feels so difficult. I have joined a local group that run free classes for women I’m going to push myself to go to some
OfficAlanPartridge@reddit
I know that feeling but if we are honest with ourselves, we can picture a life where we never do anything and see what that looks like. I feel sometimes you need to stare into the abyss to realise that you need to run the fuck away from it.
Then picture what it could look like a year from now if you even just went to the gym 2 or 3 times per week. Perhaps a gradual momentum shift will start to open up new habits and improvements.
theevilamoebaOG@reddit
Then your first goal isn't to go and work out. It's just to go. Stand there for 5 minutes and go home. Do that again. And again. You're allowed to go, but not workout. One day, you'll go, because you've been building the habit, and you'll think you know what? I can do 5 mins on the treadmill. Build from there.
I worked myself out of a suicidal depression a few years ago by promising myself and my husband I would simply go outside every day. Once I was outside I had to do a few steps. Sometimes I only had the strength to walk across the road and back, but as I forced myself to go out every day, I realised that it was the getting out that was the hardest bit and I started to find myself walking a teeny bit further each time. That starts to build up pretty fast. Then I randomly found a virtual challenge and did a tiny bit of that every day until if finished it. When I tell you that the medal I got for that silly virtual distance made the most profound difference to me, because it was proof I could do something that seemed impossible just a few months before.
Sending hugs. I understand where you're at and how it feels, but this too shall pass.
kai_enby@reddit
What helps with me for the gym in particular is I often try and talk myself out of going, or I get overwhelmed by how many steps it will take to get there that I instead tell myself to just out my gym clothes on and then see how I feel. I tell myself before I do it that if I still can't face going out after that I can skip the gym that day, but I've never actually failed to go once I've successfully gotten dressed, maybe it'll work for you as well
Mumique@reddit
Definitely classes. Classes are useful because you form friendships and so feel obligated to go to not let everyone down, which helps with habit building.
jiggjuggj0gg@reddit
Also often they have a no show fee, which is pretty much the only reason I manage to show up half the time
MrE26@reddit
The hardest move at the gym is leaving your front door to go. I signed up with a personal training program when I was at my lowest & unhealthiest earlier in the year. Took me 2 months to actually show up & even then I sat in the car park for 30 mins before I went in. I thought I’d be useless, I’d hold others back, i would look like a fat mess who doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing.
But it was nothing like I imagined, it’s open, welcoming & accessible for all & I’m so much better for it now. They’ve given me nutritional goals, they keep me in check so I don’t hurt myself & taught me that I’m only in competition with myself. What others are doing doesn’t matter. Physical benefits have been huge, but the mental ones even more so. I’m now going 3x a week to work out & walking 5 miles 3x a week. Doesn’t matter where I go, it’s just music on & world off.
Every journey starts with one step, no matter how small that step is.
Ambitious_League4606@reddit
How much weight do you need to lose? Start with diet, eating healthy nutritious food. Then do a little more activity. Build on it.
NecroVelcro@reddit
I found the NHS exercise referral scheme much more beneficial than the generally horrendous mental "health" team had been for decades. There are waiting lists and it's, of course, hugely dependent on whether the gyms and session times they can refer you to are convenient for you but I've met some lovely, supportive people and made new friends.
Nice_Back_9977@reddit
Do they have personal trainers at your gym? I’m rubbish at motivating myself to go so I book sessions because then I have to!
I do think you need some anti depressants though too, make today’s goal contacting your GP for an appointment.
marmiteyogurt@reddit
I’d really recommend the running class, I also did a women’s beginner one a while ago and everyone was so lovely (I could barely walk it let alone run) and it just felt amazing even though I was unfit. Depression sucks, and finding the balance between pushing yourself to do something (anything) but not burning out is a difficult one.
Icy_Specific_8333@reddit
I don't like leaving my house at all, but what helps me get outside is doing a bit of gardening.
Radiant-Big4976@reddit
This sounds really dumb but it kinda of helped me when I felt like this. Imagine you're a Sim being commanded to do something, you might not want to, you might want to instead go wash plates in the bathroom sink (IYKYK), but you've been commanded to do something else.
Thats how I showered and tided up when I was suicidally depressed a year or so ago.
crickety-crack@reddit
When I was at my lowest, that's what I would pretend too! Sul sul :)
Radiant-Big4976@reddit
Sul sul! :D
SmallCatBigMeow@reddit
I’m going to try this. Thank you.
And I am sorry to hear you’ve been through that. I hope you’re doing better today
Radiant-Big4976@reddit
I am, thank you!
ManufacturerQueasy30@reddit
I did this earlier. I played sims 1 buy mode ost on and check off my list of to dos. I do five to dos things then I set a timer for a 15 min break and put something I want; paint on a mini, do a sudoku, scroll TikTok, play a bit of Mario cart, etc… then back to it. If I finish a whole chore list thing then I have free time to work on a larger project or hobby or whatever. (It has taken me almost two years to get to this point tbf! And a lot of help from docs and people around me to start that journey to here, don’t give up.)
Radiant-Big4976@reddit
Thats amazing! Good for you :D
sjintje@reddit
so is the sim telling you to wash plates or is it telling you to lie in bed? (are you obeying the sim, or acting against it?).
Radiant-Big4976@reddit
YOU are the sim. You might want to lay in bed staring at the ceiling, but the player is telling you to get up and be productive so you must.
The thing about the plates in the bathroom sink is just a joke about how Sims in the actual game sometimes do weird stuff like that.
sjintje@reddit
cheers. I'll give it a go.
bakeyyy18@reddit
You are the SIM, being commanded from above
Negative_Sir_702@reddit
This is what I do, I notice what it is I need to do (like shower etc) and all I let my mind think is I HAVE to and then just get up without thinking about it because once you’re up it gets easier to do the task
AbjectGovernment1247@reddit
I love this idea.
CiderDrinker2@reddit
Go to church. Really. Even if you are not into the God-stuff. Just go. Live music, singing, an hour or two of not looking at a screen (at least, not one in your hand), some weird ancient wisdom and reflection on life, normally free tea and biscuits, and people who will probably be pleased to see you. Try it. All the data suggests it works wonders for your mental health. If you are in England, you will be in a 'parish' - a small geographical area served by a particular Church of England priest - and you have a legal right to attend services at that church, no questions asked. Just walk in and sit at the back. Try it a few times.
Intelligent-Issue-86@reddit
I joined a community boxing gym. It's £20pm for 2 lessons a week. It was hard at first but nobody judged me. I felt the physical benefits first - my back stopped hurting after a few weeks. Then my constantly sore ankle wasn't so sore. Then I realised I had found some confidence from somewhere and I had an outlet for being angry. I have always figured I deserved the bad things that had happened to me - I'd never had anywhere to release that frustration. That then helped me realise that there are some things I have every right to be angry about. It's part of the healing process. I've opened up a bit and found a community, just little chats here and there but everyone wants to help me learn. And I reckon they'd all have my back if I was in trouble. I'm a 46 year old perimenopausal mum, and I've had severe depression since 2001. I'm not cured! But I'm a little bit better every week - mentally and physically. And nobody, not one single person, has ever mentioned weight loss as a goal. After a lifetime of classes centered around "beach body ready" nonsense - it's incredible. I'm there to get strong and learn how to fight. Nobody cares what you look like. It's been a lifesaver for me - literally.
motific@reddit
You could try volunteering or look at “social prescribing” in your area.
There are loads of organisations that need all kinds of skills, it doesn’t have to be anything taxing, there’s a good chance you will meet other people in your position who you can work with to build a social / support network.
Resident-Outside-457@reddit
Hello my lovely. Get some headphones on and have a boogie inside your house to your favourite music. Get all sweaty and take a nice long shower/bath. Get a journal and WRITE STUFF DOWN. Once you feel comfortable going outside go on walks. Listen to random podcasts and your fave playlists. Walking helps you lose weight tremendously.
sequinedbattenberg@reddit
Sorry you’re going through this. I’ve self-healed many times then gone back again but the big thing to remember is it’s not linear and that’s alright. Try and think of something you enjoy or used to used to enjoy and keep trying with it. If you like swimming please go, it keeps me going and literally no one in the pool gives a shit what you look like. Your brain is lying to you, it gets better x
Squeeg@reddit
To answer the question you're asking rather than comment on any wider problems - Birdwatching. It's as cheap or expensive as you want it to be. You can do it almost everywhere.
Like you, I tried walking for excercise. I ended up giving up pretty quickly because I live in a city and I'd just walk to places where I'd spend a bunch of money unnecessarily. Birdwatching lets you be in the moment just walking to see what you see on the walk without having to go to a "somewhere"
AND they're cute.
readitreddit240@reddit
Yeah, I started going to the gym my membership cost £25 a month. I was not very well mentally after having my baby and going to the gym really helped me.
tocookornottocook@reddit
I’ll get downvoted for this. But how about picking up another shift or a part time job on your days off and paying for the jab to lose some weight? I was overweight for so long it ruined my self-image and motivation. Yo-yo dieting is demotivating in itself (you said you joined the gym). If it was me that’s what I’d consider. The jab is a very low effort way of losing weight and worth every penny imo. It still takes time, but the results come so easily you will find yourself feeling more motivated once you see it coming off. Take care, hope you get yourself in a good spot soon whichever route you choose
Neat-Cartoonist-9797@reddit
Have you got some headphones? You could try walking and listening to podcasts. This really is my go to when I need to get out of the house, as it’s killing 2 birds with one stone. For walks, (as it sounds like an activity you sort of enjoy but are bored of the same thing), try an app like all trails or os maps, or look up local councils areas usually have maps you can download (or if you’ve got a local tourist info office). Might give you some inspiration for some new routes. Other suggestions here are really important too (like therapy, medication etc). I hope you get to where you want to be in life, just keep going, you will get there.
4tunabrix@reddit
I know this is very much easier said than done, but 13 hour shifts and 3 days on sounds rough, is there any chance you could look at getting a 9-5? I did night shifts for a while on a similar schedule. 12 hour night shifts totally destroyed my mental health. And if you’re struggling having so much time away from work on your own can just compound that too.
It wasn’t until I worked a 9-5 I realised how important to me a routine was and how much better it made me feel.
Regardless, I wish the best for you, if you can find a more sociable working schedule you may notice a huge difference.
luther_van_boss@reddit
This is gonna sound controversial but have you thought about trying psychedelics? There’s a lot of research into psylicibin therapy (mushrooms) for depression. Google ‘John Hopkins mushrooms’ and have a read. There’s quite a few documentaries, it’s worth exploring.
sunkistandsudafed3@reddit
Seconding this. There is How to change your mind on Netflix that is also well worth a watch.
sunkistandsudafed3@reddit
Seconding this. There is How to change your mind on Netflix that is also well worth a watch.
Sea_Range_3098@reddit
Walking is actually a great start (and a natural mood elevator). The destination is less important than the journey. Could you potentially up your time and/or speed for a little variety? Add in some music? Add in some exercise variety (e.g. some squats, modified push-ups, crunches, dancing, etc.)? That will give you some variety to better hold your interest and also help strengthen your body. And it's all cost free! The better you feel, the more you might feel like doing. Give yourself permission to not like it for the first couple of weeks, but do your best to stick with it anyway. It will grow on you. :-) You could even download an app to track your efforts.
You might also see about signing up for local dog-walking service. Walking + time with cute dogs is another enjoyable exercise option/stress-reliever.
Another idea is to take up cooking. Learn how to make healthy and filling meals for yourself. It's a nice feeling of accomplishment, and it can help you save money and improve your well-being.
And in case you were wondering, I suggest all these things because I've done them and they worked for me. Best of luck - I hope they work for you too!
Distinct_Egg4365@reddit
Devils advocate but fuck it get surgery for the weight. While also not neglecting that the lifestyle needs to change go for some counselling as well and reach out for help.
Regular-Ad9148@reddit
My advice is take like 100/150mg of nytol, put a super strength snus in the soft tissue of your mouth and have like a 4 hour wank edging yourself into ecstasy, the more depraved the porn the better. I like to have a few tabs open.. one pegging.. one TS.. one lactating and maybe a a mummy one if I’m really feeling it. that’s my Wednesdays anyway
ServerLost@reddit
You need therapy my friend. Access your local NHS services to find out how to get started.
skyepark@reddit
It's difficult and does require mental effort, have you seen a Dr? Otherwise just do an action, jump on the spot for a bit, dance, see if you can do one step. If you can go for a walk straight after getting up without looking at the phone.. It could help the brain
Wardendelete@reddit
What helped me was playing and learning chess online, I’d rot in bed but I’ll be training my brain, research says it helps regulate your mood and reinforce your executive function when you are deeply engaged in play. Eventually I could get off my bed to take care of myself. I don’t know if it’s placebo or not but it really helped.
Throwawayhey129@reddit
Volunteer at the dog shelter?
DanHarold@reddit
Get a guitar
No_Engineering_924@reddit
Have a wank
CaptainBurningStar@reddit
If you’re close to Essex, pop down to southend at the weekend… I’ll meet you and we can go to Peter Pans!
CaptainBurningStar@reddit
If you’re close to Essex, pop down to southend at the weekend… I’ll meet you and we can go to Peter Pans!
Bigtallanddopey@reddit
Go fishing, gets you out of the house, but it’s not a social thing (outside of the odd person asking how the fish are today), you can just sit there alone all day. Could be something you enjoy, but could also be a stepping stone to doing more things.
Comfortable-Tea-9437@reddit
If you manage to go out for walks, I would start slow and just walk out to where you usually go, especially if it is a green space and find somewhere to sit. Stay out for a couple of hours, take a healthy snack and drink or even something sugary if you need the dopamine. As it's summer, staying out and doing an activity like reading a book/drawing/craft outside will most likely still blend into a crowd and reduce any significant social expectations that take more energy. It will allow you to get some daylight and create a routine that might give you a sense of control that you might feel is missing, especially if you are depressed and work such long hours.
Once you feel a bit more comfortable, you can progress to more social areas, such as sitting in a coffee shop, libraries, or even a pub, and then repeat doing the same type of activities. These places can have signs up for group stuff that you might be interested in, but only when you are ready.
Long shifts can make you feel extremely tired (burnout), ruin your sleep/wake cycle, as well as make you feel disconnected from the world. Make sure you rest when you need to, if you feel it becoming more excessive than it should, go back to your doctor and make sure they investigate reasons for your mood (both physical and psychological).
Loose-Spot-8901@reddit
Try meditation - there are free videos to guide you on YouTube. Also, there are very short workout video you can try - even ones from a chair or walk or dance. Just 5-10 minutes of each of these will improve your mood over time. Both of these have helped me over the years and I regularly go back to them.
the_jaynerator@reddit
You are resting not rotting
SarkyMs@reddit
Bloody mental health walks work.
tunanunabhuna@reddit
Hi! First of all, I’m so sorry that you have to deal with depression. I have been battling depression since I was a teenager and feel as if I have sort of got a few coping mechanisms that might be doable for you.
Leaving the house at some points felt incredibly hard and tricky. I was fortunate to be living with my parents at the time and so my dad would walk the dog with me. Sometimes it was just a short walk up and down the road but other times it was a little longer until we managed to get to the park and go out for an hour or so. If a family member or friend has a pet dog, I’d highly recommend this to try and get you out the house. It’s free/cheap.
Inside I became quite addicted to cleaning and could t sleep unless everything was in its place. Occasionally this comes back to bite me and I have little bouts of this again but I sometimes purposefully leave things out so that I don’t begin to get fixated on this one. Do you enjoy organising things? If you think you could do this in a healthy way, I’d also recommend this as I always felt a sense of accomplishment when I managed to do something like reorganise a cupboard.
Do you like video games? I loved playing The Sims and Animal Crossing when I was really low. It’s not always the most productive but it does mean that you’re focusing on something else.
I also read and write. Whether I’m writing about my emotions or about fictional characters - I have always found this incredibly cathartic. There’s plenty of online communities where you can write together and create the most fantastic stories.
I also used to do light exercises through YouTube videos and found that this really helped my endorphins.
I will keep thinking but these were my favourites.
thelaurasaurus@reddit
On the walking front, I have some ideas. I find walking the same routes exceptionally boring. I’ve started also using my walk time to listen to music/podcast/audiobook, and it really feels like killing two (three?) birds with one stone - I’m getting some exercise and fresh air, and also getting some hobby time in. I also try to go for a walk with a purpose, so it doesn’t feel like such a colossal waste of time (e.g. walk to the shop to buy some lunch).
Oh, and if anyone looks at you walking and thinks anything about you being overweight, that really says nothing about you and everything about them.
lulapulaxx@reddit
learn how to sew and make urself clothes / customise ur own clothes. i’ll always add lace to skirts hehe
KingElkin@reddit
i think art would help. writing poetry or painting, something that doesn't require you to go outside and can be easily picked up and put down whenever you feel, helped me alot)
Designer-Computer188@reddit
Hey man, I don't have anything else to say other than I understand the weight you are under. I hope all people who are similarly suffering can find their way back to themselves one day.
ninja_moth@reddit
Practice drawing. Every day for half an hour or so. Like houses, spaceships, people, made up, copied, practice with pencil and move to pen.
WestleyMc@reddit
Some good advice in here. I found creating physical lists really helped. There is some satisfaction in crossing stuff off and feeling like you have achieved something, however minor it may be.
Give yourself something to achieve every day and make them slightly harder over time.
It might be as simple as go for a 10 min walk, clean the bathroom, call a friend who I haven’t spoke to in a while, do a mini home workout, clean the bathroom.
Start small and work up. And remember, if nothing changes.. nothing changes. Days will become weeks, weeks months and so on. GL
DailyLosses@reddit
What a shocker you’re posting on a topic like this.
WestleyMc@reddit
Haha. Following me around after you got called out for being an illiterate pretending to be SSL LMAO.
Truly pathetic.
EfficientRegret@reddit
Download Minecraft
Dnny10bns@reddit
Tell your doc. They referred me to a professional.
rhi_ni@reddit
CBT / counselling 🫶🏻
Delicious-Desk6591@reddit
Myself (as many other I’m sure too) can relate, and it’s so easy to get stuck into a rut but I think the hardest thing is to acknowledge so firstly congrats on being honest with yourself!
Whenever I get into this pattern of behaviour I make sure I do 3 simple tasks a day, one of which includes a walk (even if it’s to the shops), the second one is to communicate face to face with someone (this can tie in with a visit to the shop) and the third is to look after my hygiene such as a long shower and a pamper.
I find I can become really isolated and by not getting some fresh air and have interactions with others encourages me to fester and it snowballs into anxiety and a slump.
The good news is the weather is a lot brighter so maybe take a short walk somewhere you’d be never explored before and ring a friend for a catch up or listen to some of your favourite music. Soak up that glorious sunshine that is a privilege to be able to receive and be mindful of what your are grateful for today - you’d be surprised at recognising this little life isn’t so bad after all.
Come on buddy, you’ve got this, and we hope to see you thriving soon!
ASpookyBitch@reddit
I totally get the feeling!
You want to but you just don’t have the energy to do it.
It sounds more like burnout with a side of depression. You’re exhausted and don’t want to think about doing stuff so you’re zoning out. Honestly, don’t feel bad about it but maybe work with it.
Personally I find that the getting going is the hardest part. Once im up and going it’s not a problem. Just start with some stretches. Really simple like bringing your knees up to your chest. Sitting on the edge of the bed/sofa and touching your toes, couple of twists. Just gets the blood flowing and starts the motor running
cheesypotato34@reddit
I’ve been there. Some suggestions for you.
First, set yourself small goals rather than a big thing that’s going to fix everything. You don’t have to go to the gym and do a workout straight away, or paint something magnificent. These things take practice.
If you break a ‘big’ task into smaller tasks it’s far more achievable and you feel more accomplished. So one day, just move your painting/colouring/gym/outdoor shoes so they are easily accessible. Next day, put the outdoor outfit on/ open the painting book and draw a squiggle. Next, walk out the door, and stand there for 5mins, etc etc. before you know it, you’ll be on a walk
Second, if you can’t get outside, still let the fresh air in. Open your windows and let the breeze in.
Third, if your doctor is being unhelpful try apps like Headspace, calm or Apple meditation guides. Your work likely has an EAP number which you can ring too. Obviously medication will help, but these will help you long term too.
Finally, if you can, try to do something in your home space. again, not a big thing. Perhaps rearrange a bookshelf, change your bed sheets, clean the sofa, get a new candle, clean the skirting boards… This will help freshen up your space which does help your mind
It sounds simple when I lay it out like this, but i fully appreciate it’s not.
Hope you start to feel more ‘you’ soon
Medium-Walrus3693@reddit
Breaking things down into small tasks is what helped me get my life back.
I couldn’t face going out on a full walk, but I could stand on my doorstep for ten seconds once a day. Then I could do it twice a day, whilst having a cup of tea. Then, before I knew it, I could walk to the postbox to post letters I’d been putting off for months. Once I made it to the postbox, I could make it to the park. It’s amazing how those little things can finally add up to something “worthwhile”, but the trick to it is to still value the progress of standing on the doorstep for ten seconds.
notheOTHERboleyngirl@reddit
So you have any outside space? A garden, a balcony or park nearby? Go outside, lie down and stare at your phone/the sky.
All these other posts are trying to get you to do things that are beyond your capability right now. If you can get up to pee , do that then go outside and lie down. The vitamin D will help, the air will help and you'll have to get up again to go back inside so two getting ups is an improvement over none.
Start really small. Build it up. You can do this.
DJ_xo79@reddit
Put an alarm on ur phone for every half hr/ every hr to go pee or to go get a drink
y4smin@reddit
What do you do for work?
BrainiacQuantum@reddit
Depression is an awful state, and lots of folk suffer with this. Unfortunately, life will not come to you, you must go to it. Just get out of the house and go swimming regularly. This will improve your fitness weight and help you gain confidence in yourself. Don't do nothing, do something, and you may surprise yourself. Good luck. .
OldPainless78@reddit
Join a rugby team. Just go for the social/fitness aspect. Male or female, they'll take anyone and you will absolutely get chatting to folk.
electricgoop@reddit
What I do when I get in a slump like this is start to clean the house - if my environment feels tidier and more homely it helps my state of mind.
Start small, set yourself one task: wash the dishes or wipe down surfaces or even just straighten up the pillows on the couch. To start, count "one, two, three" and on three, get up and do that one thing. There's this concept of "activation energy" in psychology, that you just need to put in a bit more effort to get started but then you can ride the momentum to finish the rest - that's not to say you have to do more cleaning/tidying after the first task, but you can seize the motivation if you feel like it. This "small task, one at a time" concept really helps move me through my harder days.
Atompunk78@reddit
I’ve always found forcing myself to go on a walk (esp in this weather) works if you can manage it
Drag yourself to a gym day pass and punch a punching bag for half an hour
Play video games with internet people (eg me!)
Unusual_residue@reddit
What is rotting? Are we talking about having a lie in?
soy-sauce-sexy@reddit (OP)
No. I wake up and I stay in bed all day. I can’t even bring myself to get up and make food. Sometimes I will be bursting for a wee and don’t even have the energy to get up and walk to the toilet so lie there in pain for hours
S_lyc0persicum@reddit
That is full on depression.
When COVID began a lot of counsellors, psychologists and psychiatrists moved to online video calls and have kept that available. Please do consider talking to one.
soy-sauce-sexy@reddit (OP)
I signed myself up to nhs talking therapies. They spoke to me once, said was high risk and they would ring me back next day to start therapy immediently. I waited in all day called them multiple times and sent emails and they never rang me back. That was 3 months ago
S_lyc0persicum@reddit
Is there any way you can go private?
soy-sauce-sexy@reddit (OP)
Unfortunately I’m not in a financial position to afford it. I did private acupuncture for months which really helped but I can’t afford it at the moment. Once I get more money I will be continuing with it
FeraMist@reddit
Unfortunately NHS talking therapies are a waste of space.
If you can, request from Dr's a referral to Secondary Mental Health Services. They prescribe better medication (what i mean is, not the crap that is SSRIs. While they can prescribe this, they will also try other things unlike GPs). And will also assess you and can refer you to therapies such as DBT (a better version of CBT as a quick description). Which is great for changing your mindset.
Resipa99@reddit
Jordan imho is free and brilliant on You Tube
Wububadoo@reddit
You need to speak to your doctor. I'd potentially suggest some anti depressants. I was in the same situation and after a couple of months I was able to come back off them, but I needed the crutch for a short while. I genuinely hope you feel better. It'll sound ridiculous, but I envisioned depression as like a bully, every time I didn't get out of bed, it won. Now I view it as depression has won a couple of battles, but I'm winning the war. (Off anti depressants for 2 years at this point)
DMuller23@reddit
I’ve been through (still going through) this myself and for probably worse reasons, though it’s not a competition obviously.
I have always been big and won’t ever tell people what my highest recorded weight is, but it’s simply down to overeating and lack of exercise. Possibly a type or some types of food addictions but that’s another story.
I work 5 days a week, sometimes 6 if there’s a few hours work on a Saturday morning, but pretty much spend my evenings doing nothing active. I sit and watch tv, I sit and play video games, I sit and go on my phone. Pretty much every evening. On a weekend, I give at least 1 day to go back to my parents home, do my laundry and sometimes join in with whatever they have going on.
I would personally suggest trying to even out your work pattern. It’s only really nice to have more days off if you have things to do on them, but could you perhaps do less hours but more days? That will at least help you keep a longer routine of knowing you have places to be and things to do 5 out of 7 days.
In terms of depression and self healing, I don’t believe it exists. I also don’t believe in medication, but I do heavily stress that it’s so important to talk to people. I don’t know whether talking therapy is an option for you but I would strongly recommend.
Other than that, give yourself little challenges. I know in my head that sometimes I live like an utter slob, but cleaning/tidying up and being in a clean environment makes me feel good, so sometimes I will tell myself that if I do the washing up or put some clothes away then I can “reward myself” and sit doing nothing but at least I’ll feel better about it after doing something proactive.
Hope at least something in this helps, wish you all the best because I really know how you feel 💙
Ornery_Dimension_728@reddit
Have you had bloods checked just to rule out hormones out of sync?
quenishi@reddit
To self-heal, you need to be able to accurately diagnose what's going on and make the changes to achieve your goal. But if you're not sure what's wrong it's like trying to debug something with no programming skills.
I'd agree you'd benefit from doctor + therapy time - to ensure there isn't something physically off and see if you're neurodivergent or not. And get to the bottom of why you can't start things - is it because you can't bear to fail, the thought of the work that comes afterwards, a mental block telling you all is pointless? Or is there a lack of foundation of "fuck it, I can draw a penis right now if I want to"? And answering the question of "why does going home make me feel down?".
I'd ensure your house is also getting a good amount of light in and open the windows at this time of year - does help things feel less oppressive imo. And gives you a bit of outdoors indoors to help it feel less "other".
Depression can lead to poor sleep hygiene which exacerbates issues, so I'd consider if that applies and if you can get your sleep cycle back on track so your brain can get more into "doing" and "not doing" times.
lorelai_lq@reddit
Get a library card and visit your local library, having a steady supply of books has really been helping me over the past year. If you want to do something creative, you could try Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith, something else that has also been helping me. I also keep a page-a-day journal/sketchbook/scrapbook/junk journal, basically anything goes as long as I fill a page for that day. I make them myself out of various papers, like old envelopes, old bits of art/test prints etc. Oh, I also made myself a list of eight daily tasks, which help me tick off even the smallest little thing. A tiny bit of progress every day helps to make you feel like you're getting somewhere.
Responsible-Bat-6544@reddit
I felt like this for years. A few things helped:
Clumsy_Penguin_@reddit
Have you considered you may have ADHD? You have described quite a lot of traits in your comments
aprilstan@reddit
I thought this too. ADHD is very commonly confused with depression. People with ADHD have different brain chemistry and our brains need stimulation in order to function.
ADHD can be very effectively treated with medication (far more so than depression), but in the absence of medication there are support strategies to manage the executive dysfunction.
OP - do you feel depressed at work, or when you’re doing activities? If you feel normal in high stimulation environments then you should look into it. I’m pretty high functioning now, with a child and a successful career, but I spent my entire 20s unemployed and rotting on the sofa before I was diagnosed.
weirdhandler@reddit
Yeah I thought the same. This sounds like me before I realised ADHD was a possibility.
-Po-Tay-Toes-@reddit
Yeah this is essentially my life. I'm on the waitlist for titration but it's the "wanting to do something but just can't" that stands out as typical ADHD to me.
Clumsy_Penguin_@reddit
Meds will likely help with this a little. I was the same and meds have helped a little. It's helped with energy and therefore I feel like I want to do more.
I know ADHD is hard. I was very similar to you before meds so I absolutely get it. One thing g that helped and still helps me is the finch app. There's the free version or there's the premium version, but I think the dopamine from completing a task, no matter how simple does help. I used to have a huge struggle with brushing my teeth for example but finch has helped with that.
-Po-Tay-Toes-@reddit
Yeah I think I'm close to starting some meds. Looking forward to it and am hopeful.
Will check it out, thanks.
pringellover9553@reddit
Can you try just a 5 minute walk a day? No pressure just a walk to the shops or just round the block, just to get you out. When I was in early days postpartum just a small walk out around the block massively helped me
Gelon07@reddit
Would you consider getting a bike and starting to cycle? At the beginning you can do it alone and dont have to speak with anyone. But it's a very good way to explore further out and have time to switch oFf from the negatives of life. It's also an easier way to stay active. And if you find it works for you, you can eventually sign up to charity rides and slowly meet people.
IrishLady92@reddit
This may sound overly simple but when I was last in a deep depression hole, I let myself have a tenner to simply sit in a local coffee shop / bar with a latte and sat for the day watching people around me.
I brought a book, with the intention of reading it, but never got further than a few pages in. It was ok though because I just people watched and started to enjoy having people around.
Sometimes I chatted with the bartender or another person also alone and doing similar which was nice. Other days I wouldn't.
This became a habit until I had the energy to do things like walks or go further afield and actually socialise properly with people.
For me it helped me to feel like I had accomplished something in the day and stopped the guilt I had from staying in bed all day.
illustrated--lady@reddit
Do you know if your GP offers a social prescribing service they can refer you to? They may be able to offer support with getting out in the community.
When I was this low I luckily had my dog so although I didn't have the energy to brush my teeth or brush my hair I did have the energy to walk my dog. If you don't have a dog, I would recommend to get out for a walk, it isn't miraculously going to fix anything but is at least a change of scenery.
TanjoCards@reddit
It's time to hit up the GP and start getting some help
Jackamohoto@reddit
Cinema is a good shout. 28years later is good to watch. Or a snooker /pool club is an idea? You can always turn up on ur own and have a few games, people do that all the time.
lickmybrains@reddit
Start with walking; try to do 3k steps on those days and once you manage that try and up it a bit. Dont focus on some massive new change; just focus on what you can do today and the rest will follow.
Have you tried contacting your GP for talking therapy? The wait can be a bit long but if you really highlight how much youre struggling you can sometimes get signed up quicker, even quicker still if you agree to teams/telephone.
Im sorry it sounds like youre really going through it lately!
appletinicyclone@reddit
Apply for PIP and use that to pay for things like therapy etc to make your life better.
Even ceo's can apply and receive pip it's not means tested and while it's an utter ordeal to actually do it will help you a ton
Just makes sure you're always communicating your worst day. Don't be like sometimes I can sometimes I can't. Just talk about your worst day
The people assessing aren't medical evaluators and if they say no you have to go through a appeal and medical panel that you will probably win but it's just very stressful.
Fill in the pip, talk about how depression and things affect your life. "I don't leave my bed" Vs "it makes me feel stuck/unhappy etc"
Once you apply and get it, use that money on therapy and things to make you feel better.
You wanna do something but can't find the legs to do it? Pay for transport just to make it easier for you to do that thing.
Ofcourse contact GP and medical or therapy stuff but it's been my experience the NHS unless you have a truly complex mental health need, you're not going to be helped much they really undercook support.
Good luck :)
DwightSchruteBeatCEO@reddit
Depression hates a moving target. Good luck and much love.
Karla_Darktiger@reddit
If you enjoy walks you could make a hobby out of it so you're not just walking. You can do things like bird watching, photography (even if you just take pictures on your phone), or if there's a lake near you that allows it you could try fishing.
Don't worry about your weight, most people dgaf about it and those who do are just assholes.
Prestigious-Block146@reddit
Yeh I cleaned the kitchen stove top for hours but got a bit of OCD. Can listen to music for one hour, that's what I do to leave the house. Not really depression but I do have lots of anxiety before I leave the house. Have you tried gardening? Idk what I'm doing but I find hoping things grow mentality does help.
038iwiirjnfie@reddit
Maybe go to a local pool place and place some snooker or 8ball fairly cheap and could get some games in with ransoms boost your confidence
Jealous_Sympathy9402@reddit
You need therapy and support. Sometimes it’s difficult, very difficult to overcome without support from others. Make an appointment again to speak to your GP, taking four weeks worth of amitripyline and then coming off them can do you more harm than good. I’ll link a few free counselling services for you. Take the first step today to sign up to all of them. You probably feel let down by the NhS therapy not contacting you back, first place to start is by sending them a complaint email. This is really empowering, sometimes we sadly fall through the cracks and they need alerting to the fact you have been ignored! How many others have been ignored when they need support?! Make them aware of your situation and that you are not happy. Know your worth and ring or email and complain to the service, they need to be aware of where they are lacking to get better for not only you but others who have been ignored.
https://www.kooth.com/signup/available-in-many-areas
https://giveusashout.org/
https://andysmanclub.co.uk This one is brilliant if you are a man. They have support groups throughout the UK which are free to attend. It could really be beneficial to go to a group and speak with others in the same boat as you and get support. They do lots of different things for men suffering
https://menwhotalk.org/
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/ Mind offer free counselling and therapy. Search your area to see what’s available near you and sign up.
https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health-services/find-nhs-talking-therapies-for-anxiety-and-depression/enter-gp Contact them today and find out what’s happened. You have been let down by the services. Having waited month they might be able to fast track you.
It’s hard to motivate yourself but sign up to one or all of these today. It really helps to give you a sense of self worth, you are taking the first steps to getting control of your life again. I wish you the best of luck in your recovery, recovery is possible and it starts today!
KnowledgeSea1954@reddit
I'm sorry to hear about your current experience. Are you getting treatment for your depression and anxiety. If not you can either book an appointment with your GP or you can self refer if you look up telling therapies in your local areas but I think the ones you self refer for are usually short courses of therapy. If you have severe depression/severe anxiety which it sounds like you do, and you may have agoraphobia, maybe it's better to ask your GP to refer you to the mental health services. If you are in a crisis which it sounds like you may be or could be very close to being in, you can call 999 or go to a&e for mental health issues , which maybe not everybody knows.
You could also book an appointment with your GP about your weight. There are weight loss medications etc that may help you. If you enjoy walking you could maybe join a walking group or ramblers group. If you feel isolated because of your weight, do you have any other friends who are also overweight, if not you could maybe look online if there are any online communities you could connect with who are similar and will understand what you're going through. You can also look up Mind charity and other mental health organisations in your local area, some may run clubs and activities for people living with mental health issues.
lucwhy@reddit
You probably need to seek professional help at this point, definitely try and book in with your GP to discuss options like medication and/or therapy. For additional help, there's also things like Mind/Samaritans/Campaign Against Living Miserably and other support lines where you can just chat and have a bit of a sounding board, no pressure. There is also the 112 line, like 111 but for mental health which can be a good resource. I've been there - it's so hard. It's like the world outside your little bubble feels million miles away.
As someone who has broadly/mostly recovered from some heavy mental illness stuff (mainly with meds and therapy, and I'm still on meds), there are also the very boring things that always get suggested which do actually help, even though I spent many many years being very irritated at getting suggested to drink more water as if it was going to make me not want to die (haha). Help, not cure, but can make a difference - get into a good bedtime/sleep routine, drink enough water, try and exercise for a few minutes a day even (could just be at home), try and eat a balanced diet and limit things like caffeine. I know these are HUGE obstacles when you're depressed, but even peppering in very small changes helps and they can then snowball into bigger ones. Even just saying 'I'm going to set a timer on my phone and walk up and down the stairs for 5 minutes/tidy the house for 5 minutes/do a craft for 5 minutes/step outside for 5 minutes" is a start and once the initial hurdle is over they feel more accessible.
Ultimately, nothing changes if nothing changes. You deserve to not feel like this, and it won't be this way forever. I'm rooting for you!
mikolv2@reddit
I read to escape and wonder, and daydream. Get some books, or listen to audiobooks as an alternative. That's either free or very cheap.
HalfAgony-HalfHope@reddit
Find a class for something. Like, there's a studio by me that does a pottery class for £20 a session, including materials.
If I wanted to go for a walk, I would struggle tonwork up the energy to do it.
But if I'd committed to being somewhere specific at a specific time, I'm more likely to get going.
bowak@reddit
As you say you already get out walking but are running out of places, if you live in a decent sized town or city it might be worth trying it this gps based game where you 'capture' zones just by walking through them https://turfgame.com/
I quite like it each spring for getting active again and I found a ton of little walkways and parks I had no idea about in areas I thought I knew well.
Coverage can be patchy in some areas though so it may not be great in your area.
Cardabella@reddit
Is there a local dog shelter you could help exercising the dogs? Or walk dogs for a bit of cash for elderly neighbour or busy family. That would give you a combination of commitment, gratitude from dogs, exercise and purpose?
Do see a doctor.
Longirl@reddit
This might sound silly but I’d recommend arts and crafts. You can lay in bed and do a cross stitch or embroidery and you have something to show for it at the end.
I spent 3 hours on Sunday making a wreath for my nieces bedroom. I’ve been feeling so proud ever since, I real sense of accomplishment and I can’t wait to gift it to her.
You can pick up this stuff really cheap from SHEIN or Amazon.
llamasncheese@reddit
Calisthenics. Its a form of working out that requires no gym equipment, all you need is space to stretch your arms and legs out. You can do calisthenics almost everywhere, including in your bed. And its free. It will help you lose weight, it will help you towards getting out of depression. Hwalth bonus if you do it within an hour of waking up, as a morning routine. Try and make it into something you do out of habit, and discipline rather than something you only do when you are motivated.
Gregarious-Feline@reddit
Get yourself to the GP! You deserve to feel a lot better than you are, and this sounds like a definite mental health issue. They might recommend medication or talking therapies, or lifestyle changes, and you can ask them stray questions about all sorts. I have ADHD and depression, and lots of the ‘staring into space/at your phone willing yourself to move’ kinda stuff you mention resonates hard.
Walking. However you like it. Wandering slowly to look at plants, marching along to music or a podcast, with friends and a coffee, in a hiking club, to and from a park to read a book, to any destinations you’re going to anyways, whatever. Take it slow if you need to (don’t make yourself sweaty and annoyed unless you want to be), just try and get outside for some form of one regularly. I know this sounds like boring or junk advice, but if you can do this you’ll feel like 25% (or more) better within days. It’s a good bouncing off activity, and I find if I can get myself up, dressed and outside I usually feel a little better and have more perspective on things. I don’t take this advice myself enough!
fitlikeabody@reddit
Walk. Headphones on and walk. Doesn't have to be fast but get out the door and walk. Honest to god better than medicine.
Fit_Competition_3736@reddit
Start volunteering
Entire-Wash-5755@reddit
I know when I was made redundant, I got into really bad habits and depressed and spent days in bed. Could you work more days to get you up and out of the house? Could you volunteer on your days off and do something out of the house?
In terms of your weight, you don't have to live like this or be ashamed. The weight loss drugs that have recently been introduced to the NHS are really effective. You could book an appointment with your GP to discuss them. You might even be invited to start them if your weight and BMI is large enough. For one product you have to have a BMI of 40 and a commodity - such as sleep apnea, high blood pressure etc. Obesity is seen as a disease now. Not just the fault of the person for eating too much or or not exercising. It is recognised as no different from diabetes or asthma. Those diseases need long term treatment with medication, Obesity is no different.
Good luck
Entire-Wash-5755@reddit
I know when I was made redundant, I got into really bad habits and depressed and spent days in bed. Could you work more days to get you up and out of the house? Could you volunteer on your days off and do something out of the house?
In terms of your weight, you don't have to live like this or be ashamed. The weight loss drugs that have recently been introduced to the NHS are really effective. You could book an appointment with your GP to discuss them. You might even be invited to start them if your weight and BMI is large enough. For one product you have to have a BMI of 40 and a commodity - such as sleep apnea, high blood pressure etc. Obesity is seen as a disease now. Not just the fault of the person for eating too much or or not exercising. It is recognised as no different from diabetes or asthma. Those diseases need long term treatment with medication, Obesity is no different.
Good luck
alexlourinha@reddit
I was in a very similar place for a long time and also related to my weight, overall lack of enjoyment for any activities and loneliness.
Everybody is different and you’ll have to find out your triggers either through some self reflection or with specialist help. But in my case I was basically over eating crap to make me feel better but that would make me lethargic and gain more weight and hence I was stuck in this misery loop which prevented me from wanting to do anything with other people or even leave the house. I noticed my work performance was getting worse and I knew I had to change.
Looks like you understand things have to change and you want to change which is in the right direction.
In my case I started small, I started going for small runs in the park near me and I noticed I was in a much better mood after the runs. So even though sometimes I hated having to leave the house I would just tell myself I can always go back if I want and I would go run a bit. A bit eventually became 3k then 5k, 6k etc. And a month into it I feel a lot better, lost 6 pounds and my focus at work has improved. I also started making plans with people and looking forward to more weight loss and feeling better. Then I started changing my food habits still allowing myself some treats but instead of doing it when stressed I do it when I had a good day.
Not saying you need to go out and run but just start small on something that’ll get you out of the house and keep you active even if just a walk. Start going further out and maybe set yourself some goals l, small at first. The rest will follow. If you try to tackle everything at once it can be overwhelming and have the opposite effect.
Stay strong!
Entire-Wash-5755@reddit
I know when I was made redundant, I got into really bad habits and depressed and spent days in bed. Could you work more days to get you up and out of the house? Could you volunteer on your days off and do something out of the house?
In terms of your weight, you don't have to live like this or be ashamed. The weight loss drugs that have recently been introduced to the NHS are really effective. You could book an appointment with your GP to discuss them. You might even be invited to start them if your weight and BMI is large enough. For one product you have to have a BMI of 40 and a commodity - such as sleep apnea, high blood pressure etc. Obesity is seen as a disease now. Not just the fault of the person for eating too much or or not exercising. It is recognised as no different from diabetes or asthma. Those diseases need long term treatment with medication, Obesity is no different.
Good luck
Entire-Wash-5755@reddit
I know when I was made redundant, I got into really bad habits and depressed and spent days in bed. Could you work more days to get you up and out of the house? Could you volunteer on your days off and do something out of the house?
In terms of your weight, you don't have to live like this or be ashamed. The weight loss drugs that have recently been introduced to the NHS are really effective. You could book an appointment with your GP to discuss them. You might even be invited to start them if your weight and BMI is large enough. For one product you have to have a BMI of 40 and a commodity - such as sleep apnea, high blood pressure etc. Obesity is seen as a disease now. Not just the fault of the person for eating too much or or not exercising. It is recognised as no different from diabetes or asthma. Those diseases need long term treatment with medication, Obesity is no different.
Good luck
Active-Strawberry-37@reddit
Something. For me it started with getting up, getting dressed, going to the shop, buying food, going home and making a cheeseburger.
The next day, I tried to go to the jobcentre to register. Failed, but I was proud of the fact that I was able to try.
I succeeded in making it to the jobcentre the day after and just built on it day by day. I was getting therapy which helped but I really just had to push myself to get there.
Good luck and be proud of the fact that you asked for help here. Celebrate each milestone on your road to recovery.
Rockin-Robin66@reddit
Acquire a bicycle. Not only will you be able to travel further distances, it will keep you fit.
SlightlyIncandescent@reddit
I can only speak from my own experience of course but i suffer with a less intense version of this and here are some of my thoughts.
-One aspect that made me depressed was people telling me my whole life that I need to find a hobby/passion, turn it into a job then I'll be rich and fulfilled. I'd endlessly torture myself for not knowing what my dream job is and for doing hobbies that aren't 'constructive'.
I took a good look at myself and asked what I wanted out of life and every answer was fun stuff in my free time that couldn't be monetised or I wouldn't want to anyway so I've been taking steps to try to make my job as low stress in as few hours as possible so I have free time to enjoy.
-Sunlight and exercise are two things that are medically proven and guaranteed to help as well so keep up those walks if you can!
-If you're taking any substances like alcohol or other drugs, they will absolutely be contributing as well so anything you can do to cut down or quit is going to help.
I DMd I'm case you want to talk any further and share experiences 👍
rightonthemoney1@reddit
I have been in your shoes. It was kind of a running joke that I hated leaving my house and doing things, but actually being overweight was making me extremely depressed. I’m sorry you’re going through this - it’s really hard. The only thing that got me out of it was losing weight (I took mounjaro.) I used to sit and rot at the weekend and frankly enjoyed it, even though I knew I needed to get out and do things.
Is there stuff you can do indoors? Cleaning my house was sometimes the bare minimum that I could manage, but it made me feel a whole lot better. Maybe arts and crafts? I always find that helps keep my mind entertained. Wishing you the best.
peachypeach13610@reddit
You need to consider medication OP. Depression is extremely hard to manage without medication, therapy os often not enough and leaving it untreated won’t just make it go away.
rewildingearth@reddit
Hi OP sorry for what you're going through. Sounds silly but googling 'natural ways to heal from depression' or 'foods to heal depression' can really help. Here's what I know from my own research and experience:
Once you're healing from your depression you will find everything, like hobbies, more achievable. You got this 💪
pangalatic@reddit
Do you have access to any nature areas like the woods or even anywhere you could go and sit outside and maybe feed the ducks. This always helps me
Far_Cup5691@reddit
Do the obvious things that everyone says are beneficial:
Get a watch. Know what time it is.
When you're feeling a bit better after a few weeks of doing 1-5 (trust me on this) then you'll want to start doing other beneficial things... being sociable, doing hobbies, working out more, sorting your finances etc.
Keep it up. When you feel better and fitter there is sometimes a little devil on your shoulder saying "you're better now, don't need to do this any more". Resist that devil! Just keep doing the right things.
Good luck!
owowteino@reddit
start small; 15 minute walk outside each day, 15 minutes of weight training (get some dumbbells cheaply from marketplace or online and look up caroline girvan on youtube to follow along).
hopefully getting outside, moving your body and having the satisfaction of knowing you’ve ticked both these things off will help motivate you.
aside from this, if you think you could be depressed please speak to the gp.
Snaggl3t00t4@reddit
Get active.
Buy a guitar, adopt a dog, learn a skill or language, read a book. Put your phone on airplane mode for 5 hours and go do something outside like hike in some woods.
urbanfoxtrot@reddit
Sorry to hear that you're feeling so down and miserable. I know it may not be the thing you want to hear, but physical exercise/movement is key to getting you out of this rut. You mentioned walking outside, which is fantastic. Keep that up if you can. Invest £5 in an exercise mat for indoors, then daily, start introducing simple bodyweight exercises. Keep it simple, squats, push ups or knee push ups if they re challenging, planks, high knees etc. There is a ton of exercises you can do indoors and if you're consistent you'll notice changes in your body fairly soon (you'll have to change your diet also of course). Not only will you get an instant boost from the physical activity but over time your confidence will grow as you shed weight and develop discipline. Good luck and only use medication as a last resort
Goodbyecaution@reddit
Therapy and finding more purpose in your life helped me. I volunteer one evening a week, and got a dog. Caring for others is really motivating and helped me care for myself.
Kirk10kirk@reddit
How old are you? How long has this been going on? Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?
veganfoolsdontrule@reddit
Get off reddit
BlueBarbie_xo@reddit
There are some great free yoga videos on YouTube that get me out of a funk when I’m feeling crap. Research something called Yin Yoga. It’s really low impact and it will make you feel better day by day. I’d recommend getting a cheap mat online and then just doing 20mins in the morning to see how you feel.
Yoga with Kassandra is my go to channel, but there are loads of free ones. All the best.
lonely-dog@reddit
You. An go on a hike. There are hike groups on meet-up they generally charge £10 . There should be hikes that you can spend minimal money getting to/from
DivineExodus@reddit
When I was severely depressed I went to my GP, I wasn't working at the time which compounded my feelings, so for a start I want to congratulate you on having a job, it's tough when you're so depressed you're essentially housebound when not working.
My GP recommended a community program, I was assigned a sort of social worker who helped me to plan visits to clubs of interest and if I wasn't ready to try we would go out for a coffee and a chat, that may be a good first port to call in to.
LauraFlo123@reddit
I have been feeling the same way after a long term relationship breakdown. I have picked up reading again. A treat for me recently has been to buy a new book to read, go to a supermarket and get some picnic-like snacks, get a little throw/quilt and go for a picnic by myself and enjoy a good book as long as the weather allows.
restingbitchsocks@reddit
Honestly, you recognise the problem. It might not feel this way, but that’s a huge step forward itself. You want to get better! Challenge yourself to get up and do one thing. Have a shower, make your bed or go outside even just for 5 minutes. Getting outside even for a short while is probably the best thing you can do for yourself. Could you treat yourself to some fancier toiletries perhaps? Enjoy a nice pampering shower?
Vedra99@reddit
I was the same. My partner took me to the doctor and luckily he was great. It’s helped me but it’s hard mate. At least you’re going to work
LadyNajaGirl@reddit
Hey OP, I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. Do you drive? If not, why not try to focus your energy on your days off to learn? It’ll keep you occupied, give you a sense of responsibility and once you pass, you can plan trips. I used to do similar shifts and having four days off is amazing but also difficult if you’re struggling with things to do.
boompoppp@reddit
Start looking into the world of Warhammer. You even have paints :) the community is awesome.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Warhammer/s/RufDYzgBjW
d00td00t23@reddit
Might be worth going to the GP and enquiring about a gym referral. My gym seems to have set times people who have been referred come in and there are NHS staff to support them. I think it’s free but don’t quote me. Just moving your body a little bit to start will make a huge difference. It can help to just schedule in doing something like going to the gym so you have something to get up for on your days off. Schedule and routine are really important when you feel the way you do. Even just scheduling in a daily short walk can do wonders.
Unfortunately when you feel super down and are doing nothing, the first step is doing something that might bring you some joy even though that feels like the hardest thing in the world. GP might suggest antidepressants if you aren’t already on them and that can be enough of a boost for some people for them to be able to take the first steps to doing things again.
It’s a really hard place to be, OP, and I feel for you but you can definitely get out of this place. Just have a think about small, manageable things you could do and try imagining you’re a video game character and you don’t have a choice in the matter. Maybe honestly just start by making yourself get out of bed and showering in the late morning on your days off - it can feel like a mental reset and prompt you to do something more productive than go back to bed rotting. All the best and sorry for rambling!
YorkieLon@reddit
Get yourself of Reddit and get some help from professional.
Identifying you've got an issue is a big step, now search for actual help off the Internet.
Guilty_Question_8925@reddit
I know others have said it but I do think it's time to ask for help. Trust me I know that's difficult and far easier said than done. I would ask your GP about counselling and anti depressants.
If that's too heavy a load to do could you find a way to hold yourself accountable in some way. So for example if you tell yourself you want to get out and walking it can be hard to show up for ourselves but maybe easier to show up for others. Ie if you join a group where you make a commitment it might help a little with getting out of bed when you know someone's waiting for you if that makes sense.
There's a big community for crocheters on Instagram with things like pattern testing for others so I imagine there must be similar for knitting. Also look up 'knit and natter' type groups, could be at your library or town hall type place to go and meet other people and work on your projects together.
JackalT1996@reddit
When I was in that sort of level of depression, I found staying indoors, doing nothing, made me worse.
The only way to snap out of the cycle is doing things you would normally do. I would do washing, cleaning up, shower, and create a routine for yourself every morning. It gets your mindset positive for the day, even if you don't feel like doing that sort of stuff; just do it.
Go out. If you drive, drive to the beach (if you're close). If you don't drive, get a bus somewhere where you can walk and do something. Try to make a few friends so you have some sort of social activities to do out and about. The "physical I can't be bothered" mindset would put me back and make me feel worse, but of course, I would think the same, forcing myself to go out. I also started jogging, which massively helped my mental health.
baddymcbadface@reddit
Weight loss jabs and local walking clubs.
Your first month on the jabs is about £120 (check comparison sites). Your budget is about £80.
But you will save a LOT on your food bill. For me I saved much more than £120 a month.
You will lose weight. The walking club will add some social activity. Hopefully that gives you some confidence and puts you in a positive cycle.
145inC@reddit
Get a guitar, it's by far the best way to waste thousands of hours, yikes literally flies by when you practice it.
You need to get out too though; get a fishing rod.
Both will give you endless fun and provoke you to do other things, like go to rivers, jam sessions, Ect.
MadCloudz@reddit
Just go for a walk. You need momentum. Get out of the house for an hour.
If you can get your shoes on, then you might as well go for a walk, if you are already walking for 10 mins, you might as well walk for an hour.
Once you get back, you are already moving - you might as well clean your gaff.
You’ve cleaned your gaff, you might as well make a nice meal.
Momentum.
astromech_dj@reddit
Get out into nature. There’s evidence that just spending time in nature helps massively with mental health. Join one of the nature/garden charities and visit their sites.
Nitzer9ine@reddit
The best thing you can do is try to eat as healthily as you can. I was in exactly the same position. I wouldn't leave the house and just ordered takeaways. Then I got conned into cooking by a brilliant friend. The difference in my mental health in just 2 weeks was incredible. That was 6 months ago. Since then I have been to Alton Towers (theme park in UK with the most loops on a rollercoaster), started going to the gym. Thought fuck it I'm going to see Nine Inch Nails, then travelled 4 hours to a city I have never been to alone and had the best night of my life. Bought tickets to see Gary Numan and I have got tickets for a hot air balloon flight for my awesome friend
NeedingInspo101@reddit
Without reading any of the comments, first I would address your own feelings of self-worth. Get yourself in a good place with that and the rest will follow. Depression will lift, positivity will replace mood swings and motivation will return. So start with your weight loss. This is the thing you said embarrasses you. Try the Fast Keto 800 recipe book. You will lose weight without suffering too much and it will put you on a path to healthier living. Once you have a purpose (to lose weight, feel and look better) and you see those pounds drop off - everything else will change. Good Luck!
Stunning-Attention81@reddit
Maybe try the couch to 5k? It starts very slow and builds up over time. I know you said you struggle going out but this will build you up over time and help you gain confidence in the long run
namur17056@reddit
Do you game? I have some great recommendations for you if so
Mjukplister@reddit
My friend . Depression is very very hard . But you are working which is something . I know It’s a cliche but the cures are : medication , talking therapy , getting outside and exercise . You need to keep trudging at these goals and things can start to shift .
I_dream_of_Shavasana@reddit
Please try some yoga. YouTube Yoga with Adrienne Yoga for Comfort and Nourishment.
ToriaLyons@reddit
Look into Executive Dysfunction as that sounds like part of what you're experiencing.
It's exacerbated by long-term chronic illness - mental or physical - stress, etc.
Dramatic_Prior_9298@reddit
This is what I was wondering. I can relate to some of this, including buying things to do things with but then not carrying it through.
Go back to the doctors OP,.
There's also a lot of good advice on this thread.
Provectus08@reddit
Are you happy with your job? 3 long af shifts with 4 days off is a lot to recover from and then fill. In the nicest way possible, it may be you (and that's something many of us have to work on) or it may be the situation you're in.
RevolutionaryPace167@reddit
Get yourself a cheap * under the desk cycle * and start doing some cardio from your sofa. You will quickly get health benefits. Don't drink any alcohol as it's a depressive. Give yourself a task to do each day, either cleaning a room or doing your laundry. Change your eating habits to something more healthy. Visit your doctor.
Thread-Hunter@reddit
Are you on any medication that is causing you to feel this way? whats your diet like? what do you eat/drink?
soy-sauce-sexy@reddit (OP)
No. I’ve tried medication from drs and supplements from stores such as Holland and barrats nothing helps. Diet is terrible. I go days without eating then will have weeks where I can’t stop eating and it’s mostly junk food
Thread-Hunter@reddit
about 2 months ago I was in your position, I had anxiety/depression/low mood and couldnt be bothered with doing stuff. Ive had to make some drastic changes and I feel better for it. I will offer you my top 3 tips that should help you.
Dont bother with mediciation as that only deals with symptoms and not root cause, often it will have other side effects.
It sounds like your dopamine is below baseline, its why I was asking about addictions, viewing adult content online is a massive problem and this is often a symptom of it ( same principle applies to other addictions also.
Take a cold showers daily, it will be difficult at first but within 2 weeks you will get used to it. You will feel amazing and it will elevate your dopamine levels. You need dopamine to motivate you to move and do stuff. It had numerous health benefits, check out wim hof on youtube. I have been taking cold baths daily for the past 3 months and its helped me massively.
Diet. You are what you eat, if you eat like shit you will certainly feel like shit. You need to eat like a king to be on your A-game. Therefore, you need to cut out all junk, sugar, snacks carbs. Switch to carnivore/keto diet and eat eggs, meat, butter, cheese. Eat steak and eggs everyday and you will feel amazing. It may sound expensive but if you are not buying any junk food, all of a sudden you will find its affordable.
Sunshine - get outside, fill your lungs with fresh air and go for a walk, even if its just around the block.
Bonus tip - make a 5 year plan and set some goals, give yourself something to work towards.
violentvioletss@reddit
Awful advice re medication. I would be dead without mine. I agree it won’t work for everyone but that’s such a dangerous take.
Thread-Hunter@reddit
Sorry what I meant to say was anti depressants ie happy pills. I have removed as that that could be nis interpreted as you have pointed out. Thank you.
Accomplished_Lie5688@reddit
I'm the same, I work full time, I'm OK at work, but the evenings and weekends are killing me, all I feel is sadness or emptiness or numbness I hate it.
I've been told I have severe depression by my GP, never in a million years did I think work was my saviour, I guess purpose is important for us humans!
nid11@reddit
Please consider free therapy on the NHS
drmoolittle23@reddit
When I was down and out of work I used to go to the gym first (1 hour) go back home, have something to eat then walk for 2 to 3 hours every day(well nearly) to give my walks purpose I would walk 1 hour to a supermarket, buy something (cheap) then walk home. It worked wonders for my mental health. A doctor would be the best place to go first, for advice. Good luck.
Maleficent_Serve_926@reddit
Fitness and learning an instrument.
For me it was weightlifting and guitar
my-comp-tips@reddit
Have you considered walking. Walking is not only good for your mind, it is also good for your health, but it is also free, apart from a good pair of trainers.
You will be amazed how different you will feel a after 20-30 min walk. I suffered from bad anxiety in the past, but honestly since I started walking myself I feel a millions times better about things.
theroch_@reddit
Get a dartboard. Very addictive, time will fly by
ambergriswoldo@reddit
Are you on antidepressants?
MattDubh@reddit
It doesn't cure it. But I found learning how to play guitar a good distraction.
behavedgoat@reddit
Watch comedy stand up and lots of it . Start eating a bit better cut out the junk. Get a cheap exercise bike if you can . Cash converters etc sometimes have these . Don't be so tough on yourself your working so I salut you like me your doing your best . Volunteer at a hospice will give you a new perspective or old people home . Good luck stick with it
stumble2tumble@reddit
Could you possibly buy yourself a pedal bike (even a second hand one) and go on cycle runs? Can be good for the mind and body
Jack_202@reddit
You could learn to play an instrument.
Baby8227@reddit
Here’s a thing; what would you do if someone else had this problem? What would you advise them to do?
This is what I asked myself when it was happening to me. My answer to myself was I’d tell them to start small, a short walk a day. Plan a different route each day and then gradually increase it.
I’d tell them to look for a local ramblers club. Or to join a gym (£20 is plenty with change for that) and go to group type classes where you can meet others.
I’d also suggest they have a look and see what charities are looking for volunteers nearby and see if there was any way I could help.
Long story short, I did all of the above. My life has changed exponentially in the last eight years. Start small; baby steps may only be little but they still lead us in the right direction xxx
burplesscucumber@reddit
Not qualified to give medical advice but I spent the first 2 years of the pandemic basically in bed whenever I wasn’t working (miracle I kept my job it was work from home). Mostly just lying in bed, just staring at the ceiling. couldn’t summon enough energy or attention to even watch TV. Drank heavily. Couldn’t sleep without drinking enough to black out. Ketamine pulled me out of it nearly instantly.
eat-real-chips@reddit
Did you get IV ketamine treatment? Or like, black market
burplesscucumber@reddit
would never advise anyone to do anything illegal, but $2k for a licensed but dodgy seeming online clinic (I’m in the U.S. and that was the cheapest “legitimate” route I could find) vs. $60 through, I’ll say a freelance pharmaceutical salesperson, wasn’t much of a debate for me. I would definitely recommend trying through a doctor first but I was in a pretty desperate situation. It was like a switch flipped. May even have been a bit of placebo effect because It was being touted as a miracle drug at the time. I’d already been on things like Lexapro which just seemed to make things worse.
KvL98@reddit
I’ve recently bought a Cineworld membership for £17.99 a month, I go all the time on my own and it’s great to switch off for a bit. It motivates me to get out the house as well!
biscuitsandbooks@reddit
Would joining a book club be something you’d be interested in? There are online book clubs if you can’t find one in your area. You can listen to an audio book while you walk which would help you get outside. My library has a digital bookclub and has ebook and audio books an available every month for free. So it won’t cost you anything. Keep fighting the depression, it’s so hard to do and requires so much energy but you can do it :)
spynie55@reddit
Could you volunteer at anything? It might be that helping others is better than helping yourself, and perhaps you’ll realise how valuable you can be. There are probably lots of things you could do, but if you can’t think of one, but you are free on Saturday mornings, I bet your local Parkrun would appreciate an extra marshal. It’s very easy, and (I’ve not been to all of them obviously but I think) everyone is friendly.
Hafnic@reddit
I saw you have paints etc you could look on YouTube to help inspire. I love Diane Antone for inspiration, but there's so many channels out there.
PatTheCatMcDonald@reddit
What you need is music. To change your mood and thinking.
Put on the right tune and start tidying and decluttsring to burn up some energy.
You are over thinking. You want to just do, turn off the negative thoughts and just be.
You clearly want to get better and improve yourself. Give yourself a chance.
dinkidoo7693@reddit
It’s good that you realise lying in bed or on the sofa isn’t helping. It’s also good you are asking for advice. You have already started your journey to feeling better.
I know it’s difficult. Best way is to just go outside and try not to isolate yourself. Say hello or smile at people you walk past.
If you go to a shop don’t use the self checkout. Interact with the staff.
Maybe look at local buses and go somewhere you haven’t been for a while and walk round that area.
Are there any local walking groups so you don’t have to walk alone?
Are there any gyms nearby? Theres a couple in my town that are £20 a month. Walk to the gym and do a small work out. You will also have £60 left over. Call a friend and go for a coffee.
idontlikemondays321@reddit
Every second person is overweight, nobody even notices. Get out into the countryside, being outside is one of the best things you can do for yourself. You don’t have to climb mountains, just a loop around the local lake or woodland. Monitor it on your health app on your phone and try and beat your steps each time over the week. I’m not saying it will solve all your issues but it will help. Many of us have low vitamin D in this country due to not getting out enough and that can impact your mood
Laescha@reddit
It's kind of a high risk, high reward strategy, but I find it helps to create some external expectations on yourself. Plan to meet up with a mate for coffee, or sign up to some kind of group activity, so you've got the pressure of not wanting to let the other person down to push you to go.
And, stop criticising your body. You're obviously going through the wringer right now and your body is keeping you alive and physically functional. That's the goal. Don't put off living "until you lose weight" - that mindset is clearly not supporting you to live a healthy lifestyle.
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