What's with the super duper fancy high school graduation parties?
Posted by Weekly-Standard8444@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 285 comments
I resent all the pressure, even though I know I am putting it on myself, mostly. My kid just graduated. We are having some family (grandparents, aunts/uncles, close cousins) over for burgers and hot dogs in a couple of weeks. My house can't hold a ton of people. We don't know a ton of people. Our budget is limited.
Apparently our planned festivities pale in comparison to the 100-person plus pool parties and rented-hall bashes being thrown by some of our peers in town and my husband's relatives. My sister-in-law, whose child also graduated, asked me, "Does he feel bad that you're having just a small party?" (No, he said he doesn't care.)
When I graduated in '92, my parents took me out to dinner and gave me cash in an envelope. I think my grandparents came with us. I was happy as a pig in shit. I don't know when expectations became so inflated.
What was your graduation celebration?
Ceti-@reddit
Not to disparage graduating high school, but it seems the trend in the last 10-15 years has been to make a big deal out of every accomplishment or participation no matter how grand. Everyone gets a trophy etc. I’m sure social media has also inflated the expectations for Gen Zs and their parents on what should be done. The only parties happening when I graduated high school was the ones kids were throwing if their parents were away.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
I agree! That's how I feel, but it sounds awful to say it out loud. I am very proud of my son, but this is more of an expected milestone vs. a huge achievement. I realize everyone's circumstances are different. But Jesus, we have to start paying college tuition in a few short weeks. Throwing a catered gala just was not on my radar.
Interesting_Pie7343@reddit
Same. We had a burger/hot dog & potluck bbq in the yard. It was fine, and my kid thought so too.
Reference_Freak@reddit
I guess be thankful your kid is a boy.
It seems girls are being pressured to have all out galas for every little thing and parents better be helping!
There used to be a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, a wedding gift, and a baby shower.
Now it’s an engagement party, a save-the-date party, a bridal dress picking party, a bridal shower, a destination bachelorette week, a wedding gift, wedding cash, wedding tips to offset costs, a baby announcement party, a gender reveal party, a baby shower, a baby welcome party, a push present, a big first birthday party, a bigger second birthday party, and if you aren’t helping your daughter take her kid to Disney for kid’s 3rd birthday, you’re a bad grandparent.
I might have made some of those up but I’m not sure.
I went to dinner with my boyfriend’s parents before we went to our school’s overnight party because my stepmother’s idea of an appropriate grad gift was a watch and a suit to wear for interviews and they wore casual clothes like they were walking the dog and sat up in the very back of the bleachers so they didn’t have to pay attention. I don’t even have a grad photo of myself. They insisted on getting married the weekend before and thought it would be “fine” if I missed my English and math finals: the only finals I needed to graduate.
Having a friends and family get-together with hot dogs is fine. It’s the other people who are fucking crazy.
AintEverLucky@reddit
Figured out most of these, except:
???? 🤔
Reference_Freak@reddit
I learned about push presents in the last year or so.
Apparently it’s supposed to be a gift from the new dad as a reward or a thanks for giving birth (push). Not a minor
Bratbabylestrange@reddit
I got luggage as a graduation present. The party consisted of my parents, my sister, and my boyfriend having some fried chicken for lunch.
SuzQP@reddit
Do they send out Save the Date refrigerator magnets for the Save the Date party and then hand out Wedding Date refrigerator magnets at the Save the Date party, or is there a whole 'nother party for that?
Itchy_Undertow-1@reddit
And then there’s the “make the save the date magnets and mailings” parties…
CynfullyDelicious@reddit
You forgot the only one that matters - the Stock the Bar Party 🍸 🍷 🥃 🍺
JacobJoke123@reddit
I know im a little out of place here as a gen Z. But I remember graduating highschool a few years ago and being very confused why all my family was coming in town to watch me graduate. Always seemed like the bare minimum to me, especially in todays society where they give every half wit that can spell their name a degree so the school looks better.
Then 4 years later when I graduated college, something I'd consider a bit more of an accomplishment, nobody, including my parents, showed up. Don't even think I got any cards. Really seems like priorities are out of whack these days.
JoeyKino@reddit
I recently had a misunderstanding with my wife because we both have second-cousins with the same name, and she was referring to a graduation party I thought was in town for her 13-year-old cousin we see all the time, as opposed to one that was a 4-hour round trip drive for my 17-year-old cousin who we never see.
She asked why I would think a 13-year-old was having a graduation party, and I was like "They have KINDERGARTEN graduation parties - how am I supposed to know if graduating middle school is a reason for parties nowadays?"
nextact@reddit
I teach 8th grade. I work hard to make them understand this is a promotion, not graduation. You’re done with school yet. It’s as if you went from 4th to 5th grade. Lol
But the dresses, the balloons, the accessories…it’s all so much.
MindFluffy5906@reddit
I retired from teaching recently, and this drives me crazy! However, after teaching exclusively in Title 1 schools, I feel a lot of this is because not everyone will graduate from high school, let alone college. A lot of the families I got to know really have just given up on life. Like, welp, this is as good as it gets!
Humphalumpy@reddit
8th grade promotion is treated like a bigger milestone than graduation by some families here. It's ridiculous.
Rickk38@reddit
My 8th grade "promotion," which was 30-ish years ago, was made out to be a big deal by a number of parents. My father drily commented that we lived in a smallish town in a Southern state, and this was likely the last education celebration some of these kids and their parents were going to see. My father also grew up in a rural Southern setting so he wasn't just being petty, he'd seen the same thing back in his day.
Dada2fish@reddit
And these are the people who complain how broke they are.
Mysterious-Taste-804@reddit
Graduating HS is the easiest thing most of us will ever do and we celebrate it like it's a PHD.
Hippy_Lynne@reddit
The fucking big deal they make just asking someone to prom now. 🙄 I'm not going to talk down on the kids for doing this, but it seems pretty superfluous to me.
kittenpantzen@reddit
When I graduated, my high school had an overnight party at a community center for everyone. It wasn't a lock-in, so you could leave if you chose, but they had movies and food and bingo, and it was a really great time. There were about 540 kids in my graduating class, and about 300 of us went to that party.
For family celebration purposes, my parents took me out to dinner and let me get a slice of cake about the size of my face.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
That overnight party sounds AMAZING!
kittenpantzen@reddit
It was a ton of fun! I'm sure that the motivation behind it was keeping us off of the roads, and especially keeping us from getting drunk in the field somewhere and then being on the roads. But regardless of the motivation, it was a good time.
I don't know if they still do anything like that. I could see the current generation of graduates thinking that that was too cheesy and not wanting to go. 😔
Owhatabeautifulday@reddit
My nephew graduated from high school in 2024. His class had an overnight party for the whole class similar to yours.
kittenpantzen@reddit
That's awesome! I hope he had as much fun as my friends and I did.
Katerinaxoxo@reddit
This!!!! I am a teacher and the amount of parents who go all out for the next grade is ridiculous.
Literally a parent will buy flowers, balloons, bring their favorite fast food, and deck out their car with streamers and marker saying “look out world mackenzie is going into 4th grade?!? Seriously? Its a flipping grade they should be expected to finish 3rd and go to 4th.
On a side note both my kids graduated high school last year and the year before. I just held it at the gym of the church food & cake. We invited family and a few of their close friends nothing expensive or over the top.
Blossom73@reddit
I agree. It makes me sad. It's an immense amount of pressure on young people, and ones whose parents can't or won't participate in all that, end up feeling left out.
I'm glad I grew up before the Internet.
My husband and I took our kids on a cruise for our daughter's high school graduation in 2016, in lieu of a party. Our son graduated in the midst of the pandemic, 2021, so we weren't able to do a party or take a trip.
otherwise_data@reddit
holy moly, it is crazy.
we had three granddaughters and a grandson all graduating high school at the same time this year. two of them chose not to have a party at all. one had a fancy schmancy one. one had a big one at a rented venue. on top of that, three nieces “graduated” from 8th grade, one grandkid “graduated” from 6th grade, and one grandkid “graduated” pre-school.
there were baccalaureates, church ceremonies, drive thru pre-graduation (for people who did not have tickets to the graduation), family senior day, and god knows what all else. i lost track.
when i graduated high school, i had my family there and we had a small reception at my parents’ house (cake, punch, pizza).
T-Rex_timeout@reddit
Pre school would be my priority. I love preK and kindergarten graduations. They are dressed to the nines messing up the choreography in their songs. Somebodies having a breakdown crying and smothers pulling their dress over their head. 10/10
hiscapness@reddit
All for the ‘gram, period. Our neighbors threw a crazy pool party that the entire vhcol town talked about. Multiple DJs, professional photo booths (booths with physical pro photographers), step and repeats. It overshadowed everyone - I mean everyone - else’s parties for their kids in town since everyone just wanted to be at That Party. That neighbor milked it on social media (mind you this was for their kid, not them, and for a HS graduation) for literal months. Pathetic. Then they asked everyone who would listen at a block party if “you heard about our party?” A neighbor replied, yes, we heard it until the wee hours of the morning, and btw who cares? This was for your 18yo kid, right? Were there actual adults there or just you hanging with a bunch of wasted teenagers? Isn’t that sad for a 50yo woman?” Legend.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
That's exactly what it feels like here - that everyone is trying to outdo each other! I don't want to play. I wonder if half these parties would happen if social media did not exist.
MaximumJones@reddit
Completely agree. In 2025 graduating high school is BASELINE of what is expected. It is not a major accomplishment by any means. What a person does AFTER high school is what determines the trajectory of their life.
I think parents who make too big of a deal of high school graduation are the same ones who then wonder why their kids are still living at home at age 30.
knosmo78@reddit
OMG.
My daughter had her eighth-grade awards ceremony, and they had a "guest speaker" and did all this stuff that was almost as much as my high school graduation.
Everything is Big and Huge and Expensive. When I graduated, we just had cake at the house afterward with family. Not even like an actual meal. And then I went to my part-time job that evening to close.
Rest assured, my kid won't be having a big huge graduation party. I mean, I will be proud of her, but that's like, bare minimum to get by these days.
Separate-Project9167@reddit
Oh, good point about social media - so glad we didn’t have to worry about that growing up.
RogerClyneIsAGod2@reddit
This. Either parents away or a field party.
We went out to lunch or dinner, I got gifts or money & that was it.
TheEvilOfTwoLessers@reddit
I was basically bribed to go to a dinner I didn’t want to. It was at the Ground Round. I got a couple of gifts.
My daughter’s party was held in our garage. We hired a food truck and my daughter made a ton of desserts herself. Probably 30-40 people showed up total over a 3-4 hour period. My daughter was in some sports and show choir and all her teachers loved her, so those were most of the guests plus some family.
MWH1980@reddit
I was given two options by my Dad.
Either have a graduation party, or get my Senior pictures taken at the most expensive place in town.
I never felt I had a number of friends in high school, so I went with the expensive Senior pictures.
Vampchic1975@reddit
I didn’t have a graduation party. No one I know did. My own kids didn’t either.
SopranoPixie_on_Set@reddit
So mine fell in between. Was it at a rented hall? Yes, at a country club my parents belonged to. But our menu was pure summer favorites - burgers, hotdogs, veggie platters, cake, etc. And everyone had access to the swimming pool and locker rooms. I absolutely loved it. There was no social media to compete with. I simply wanted everyone there to have fun.
Puzzled_Tomatillo528@reddit
Idk but the AHS Class of 87 partied in the country with a bonfire and kegger or 4
thisgirlnamedbree@reddit
My graduation party was a friends and family event at my mom's house in June 1993. It was a cookout, and I had a sheet cake from the local bakery with my school colors. I enjoyed it. We're a low-key group, so we don't need a huge, expensive blow out.
My brother's graduation party in 2004 was a pool party and cookout. My mom's sister-in-law's sister had a big inground pool and offered to host the party. It was a larger group of his friends.
The kids got mad at me when I turned off their numetal and pop punk that was blasting from the stereo because us adults got tired of hearing it, and I put on 90s dance music. I told them, "you're in the pool, what do you care?" 😏 They got their numetal back on after about 30 minutes.
Jena71@reddit
I graduated in the late 80’s & had a cook out in the back yard for family & friends. Simple & fun!
CitizenChatt@reddit
We went to Bennigans, and I had a Monte Cristo
jcoigny@reddit
I worked a full time 40 hour a week job by my sophomore year in high school. My graduation night was just another work night. Nobody cared or had a party for me. I don't even think I bought anything special for myself either
LariRed@reddit
I don’t remember individual HS graduation parties thrown by parents back in the day. What sorcery is this? If there was a party, it was organized by groups of us.
A friend of mine threw a drivers license party last year for her granddaughter and I was like “wut?”. They celebrate everything for GenZ and Alpha these days it seems.
GhostWr1ter999@reddit
My mom gave me a suitcase.
BerryMantelope@reddit
No one I knew had a graduation party. It wasn’t a thing at my high school. Class of ‘83
Bigsisstang@reddit
My son, who is graduating this coming June is getting a BBQ. That's it. Plus gifts. But no hall, no catering. Just an old fashioned BBQ.
Constant-Excuse-9360@reddit
It's not kids' expectations its parents trying to eke out every memory they can get and as a result, managing their kids to have expectations higher than what makes sense.
Extra_Shirt5843@reddit
The trend in my hometown in the 90's was graduation open houses. You'd list a set number of hours and have snacks and people would pop in and out. And many students would go to each other's. Haven't even thought about this with my own...he starts high school next year.
CBus660R@reddit
I graduated in '93 and had a catered banquet hall party. My mom told me point blank that was my graduation gift and that she sent notices to every family member and friend she had ever sent a card and check to, whether it was graduation, wedding, funeral, etc... I raked it in!
Rickk38@reddit
My Mom made sure I sent graduation announcements to every single great aunt and uncle and 2nd-4th cousin. I asked why, it's not like we ever see these people. She said with a smirk that they all seemed to have no issue with tracking our address down and sending us graduation announcements when their kids graduated a few years before, so it was only fair that we return the favor, since she had sent them a nice card and cash.
Real-Emu507@reddit
My mom was so excited I graduated she invited everyone she had ever met I think lol
FootUpstairs2782@reddit
We had a small open house and our dog ate the lunchmeat and cheese.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
Lol!
Perfect_Mix9189@reddit
As someone who's daughter unexpectedly ONLY had her 5th grade graduation I fully am on board with celebrating kids. At my daughter's 8th grade graduation they let my son and I carry her picture as she died from childhood cancer the summer between 7th and 8th grade
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for that different perspective.
sweetbitter_1005@reddit
92 here. We had family over for a BBQ and cake. A couple of my friends had "friends" parties but also at their houses with kegs of beer supplied by their parents (my parents were not the cool parents of my friend group...haha)
lurkertiltheend@reddit
Just wait til you see the pics of how parents decorate their kids rooms once a college is chosen
LuckyAd2714@reddit
I didn’t have one
Breklin76@reddit
My folks had bash in our backyard. Friends and family. We had a hot tub, no pool. Food and drinks. A couple of dogs.
elphaba00@reddit
My parents - more specifically, my mom - had an all-day party at our house with relatives, mostly hers. I remember I had gone to the Project Grad all-nighter, and I had just crawled into bed and she was waking me up. Ugh.
My husband didn't have a party. He just wanted a day trip to Medieval Times, and that's what he got.
My son just graduated, and we didn't have any kind of party. We don't have a house for entertaining or holding a lot of people. We don't have a lot of family, and my son doesn't really have a lot of friends. He also doesn't like a lot of attention. So we went out to a nice dinner with my parents since it was also their 51st wedding anniversary. Also, a couple weeks after he graduated, he did go on a final band trip to Disney World.
So at the dinner after my son's graduation - my mom, the one who wanted the all-day party in 1996 - admitted that her high school celebration was a one-on-one trip to Dairy Queen with her mom. Her mom (my grandma) was the only one in the family to go to her graduation. My mom had six younger siblings. They didn't go. And Grandpa was just a POS.
Mysterious-Taste-804@reddit
Was just talking about this with my dad. I graduated HS in 1994 and we had a party for family and family friends at our house. Wasn't fancy - good food, music, booze.
My niece just graduated HS and they had a huge bash at my sister's with over 100 people. Tons of decos, lots of food, a dessert bar, just so much "stuff". It's the norm where they live. I don't begrudge anyone doing it, but I think it's too much.
CoffeeOrDestroy@reddit
My graduation was all about my parents. They had all sorts of relatives and friends over. There was no one there I could hang out with. None of my friends or anything. So I left and did my own thing with my friends that night.
azmechanic@reddit
I had a nice dinner at a local place with my parents/grandparents before the event. After, the school put on Senior Nightclub that went until midnight, in an attempt to keep us from being idiots. For my son, we had friends and family at the house with a "make your own tacos" thing that we put together. Everything was outside so the house didn't get messed up.
Smurfybabe@reddit
My son graduated in 2024 and maybe it's because we live in a poorer area, but all the parties were in backyards or a local park. At least in his friend group.
RCA2CE@reddit
I got a few cases of black label and had friends over - woke up on a front stoop up the road
WestCoast7789@reddit
Sounds about right. In my case it was some crappy wine coolers that fueled the mayhem.
azmechanic@reddit
"Thank you for your support."
Mr-and-Mrs@reddit
What is black label beer?
RCA2CE@reddit
It was a popular brand of beer in upstate ny in the 80’s - it was cheap
SarahCannah@reddit
Oh lord, Black Label was $4 a 12 pack my senior year, what a mess.
No_Elephant541@reddit
i don't remember that party either, but i know i had fun.
Fartina69@reddit
Mine was like yours - very low-key. Nowadays it isn't an Instagrammable party unless there are at least 3 Kardashians there.
Lcky22@reddit
Didnt have one, no special dinner or anything. I asked for one when I graduated college (I was a single mom and it took me six very difficult years) and my mom kindly complied and we had a nice time visiting with friends and family in my parents’ garage and driveway
ChiliSama@reddit
I didn’t have one. Changed clothes and went to work. My son graduated this year. He didn’t want a grad party either, but we talked him into it. We rented a room at the Y for a few hours and invited about 60 people; drop in/out style. Sandwiches and cake. Very low key.
Throwaway-ish123a@reddit
Back in the 90's graduating high school was just kind of expected.
colonel_pliny@reddit
So, I have a new perspective on this. I grew up in So Cal, and we did not do parties. I remember going through the ceremony, seeing my parents and grands after. Then getting in my car and going off with my friends.
I have moved to Michigan in the last decade, and all my wife's friends kids are starting to graduate. Each one is getting a big 50-100 person party. Complete with catering, music and yard games. This blows me away. All the parents tell me is "this is how it has always been".
SissyWasHere@reddit
They do cap and gown and graduation pictures for preschool and kindergarten now. I wonder if they throw them huge parties. Lol
SissyWasHere@reddit
Small family affair with cake, maybe some balloons. Then I was off to my high school grad night.
Low-Ad-8269@reddit
I was happy to just be out of the nightmare that was high school. For college, I skipped the ceremony. By the time I was done, I was tired of being poor and wanted to just start a career. When I finished my Masters, my husband forced me to go to the ceremony (it was awful) and threw a surprise party. It was ok, but being the center of attention is not my scene.
notguiltybrewing@reddit
I mostly remember going to friends houses where they tapped a keg and maybe had some snacks, and I'm talking bowls of doritos and potato chips. Nothing fancy, although some of them might have been well attended. Mid 80's.
SarahCannah@reddit
I hadn’t been living at home my senior year and had just moved back a few days earlier. My parents came to graduation, forgot the camera, and I went to hang out with friends after.
Tinkiegrrl_825@reddit
Eh. We had family over for pizza from my son’s favorite pizza place when he graduated high school. I asked him what he wanted to do, and that’s what he wanted to do.
QuesoChef@reddit
The problem with these huge parties is in those rich circles, the invitees have many parties to go to in a weekend and they’re a huge burden.
Invite some immediate family, have some cake or whatever abd let your graduate go hang with their friends.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
I know. Part of the (maybe selfish) reason I wouldn’t have a party and invite everyone I know is because then I would have to reciprocate and spend my summer at parties I don’t want to attend!
AnnabellaPies@reddit
My family went to Ponderosa without me because I left right afterwards to go cry. My mom had died the year before of a sudden heart attack.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
I’m so sorry, that must have been so painful for you. It’s a terrible loss at any age, but that is a particularly awful time of life to lose your mom.
funsk8mom@reddit
You can’t be the perfect parent on social media with just a small family gathering. That’s all these parties are for along with a ton of cards loaded with cash for their kid.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
That makes sense - I swore off Facebook a couple of years ago, so maybe that explains my lack of shits about throwing a big party. The people I know who are having OTT gatherings are all big social media posters.
fangirloffloof@reddit
And there you go. It's all about "look at us and what we're doing,aren't you jealous?" These people just want to flex.
That_70s_chick@reddit
I had a grad party, my parents rented a large hotel room for it because our house wasn’t sufficient for the party, but it wasn’t over the top or anything.
Traditional_Fan_2655@reddit
Oh no! You didn't mortgage your home to have the graduating kindergarten, graduating 5th grade, graduating junior high, graduating high school blow out parties? /s
It has grown absurd all around. Heck, I remember when party gifts for a wedding were a mesh drawstring bag in the wedding colors, filled with Jordan almonds. Everyone was excited because they were tasty and not eaten every day. Back then, bachelor/bachelorette parties were dinner, then a night out drinking with the guys/girls, and the reception was in the church's town hall. It had punch and finger foods.
No wo Der so many young adults are depressed. They are suddenly realizing the real world doesn't celebrate them all the time with huge parties.
SilverAgeSurfer@reddit
Beer ball in the backyard with 4 of my closest friends and a 72 eldorado
B2Rocketfan77@reddit
I feel like there were more of us as kids and the extended families had their own kids. Close family would send cards and some cash. But nobody I ever knew had these outrageous things like today. But now a family may have one or two kids or grandkids total and everything becomes a Huge event. I just wish people could back off making every thing in life seem like it’s winning a Nobel Peace Prize. I want people to be proud of their kids who graduate! I just don’t know if we need to rent a hall for 200 people. But I’m a poor school counselor, so that’s just my two cents. LOL.
Gizlby22@reddit
Idk. We live in an area where there are middle income families and some well to do families. My son just graduated and all we did was a dinner with immediate family. But we heard there were a few bashes with pool parties. Limos. DJs. You get the idea. And they had gift registries!! I only do gift registries for babies or weddings. Sorry. When I graduated in ‘92 I did grad night at Disneyland the night of graduation. And afterward it was just dinner. Nothing big or fancy. When I asked my son he didn’t even want to do a dinner. He was just glad to be done with high school. 😂
YouMustBeJoking888@reddit
I went out partying with my friends wearing the nice watch my parents bought me for graduation. The next day I think they had a few relatives and friends over, but it wasn't much and I was fine with that. These days everyone is like a real housewife, blowing huge amounts of money to put on a show for social media.
Hippy_Lynne@reddit
I never graduated (instead I took the GED and started college a year early) but my sister did and we definitely didn't have any kind of party. I think she may have gone out with her friends or one of my parents might have taken her out to dinner, but it definitely wasn't a big deal.
concerts85701@reddit
Families in my town had really small parties for their graduate - because they knew we were all going over to so n so’s house for a kegger and were not wanting to hang around for very long. Cops even let the graduation party go on longer than usual. Was a tradition.
kalelopaka@reddit
When I graduated in 84, my friends and I had our own party. We didn’t even know anyone whose parents were having them a graduation party. None of my siblings did either.
SageObserver@reddit
Same here. Kids gathered to celebrate, adults didn’t hijack these as some sort of social event.
AvailableAd6071@reddit
Adults didn't hijack- exactly this. It's about the parents showing off and has nothing to do with their kid
simmering_cauldron@reddit
Same. A friend's dad rented us a couple motel rooms and furnished the booze. We all slept wherever we landed. Different times for sure!
SaltyBlackBroad@reddit
Graduation was getting trashed at the lake in the middle of the night. No one I knew had a party. We just "partied"
Juicy-Lemon@reddit
What graduation celebration?
Frostymartini@reddit
Class of 1994. Some close family came over for some grilled food, most (if not all) of my presents were things to take to college, all I specifically remember is a laundry basket.
Content_Talk_6581@reddit
I didn’t have a party. I graduated, my parents and my grandpa gave me some cash. I went home to my apartment I had moved out of the house earlier. I don’t think my mom even took pictures. Got up the next day and went to work. That was all.
AdhesiveSeaMonkey@reddit
Parents don’t know how to say no.
cshrpmnr@reddit
No one had grad parties when we grew up. wtf?
TeaGlittering1026@reddit
I got nothing for my graduation. I don't even think my family was there. We didn't have a party for number 1 son. We may have given him some cash. Number 2 son graduated in the middle of covid and chose not to attend his drive thru graduation. We went axe throwing instead. Then we may have given him some money. I can't even remember. It helps that we're a family of introverts and no one wants a party. Also, it's high school.
platypusandpibble@reddit
I didn't get to have one for HS - my "mother" is an abusive POS, and I was in trouble for being unhappy that I had to wear one of her old frumpy outfits.
Happily for Uni and Grad School she wasn't there and I got to go to dinner w/ friends & my Dad (parents split when I was 5). BUT, there was no splashy 'do, just a low key dinner with friends.
_TallOldOne_@reddit
Don’t ask me. When I graduated (on a Friday) we went over the hill to Santa Cruz and had our own party. (It ended Wednesday). The rest of the summer was more or less a blur.
novasilverdangle@reddit
Canadian here. Most of our public high schools have a dinner/dance event at a hotel or event centre to celebrate the school’s graduates. Tickets are sold for the event and parents usually attend as well. It’s organized by a parent committee though, the school is not responsible for any of it. Some people may choose to have a smaller, private invite only party but it’s not common where I live.
millstone20@reddit
I had the graduation ceremony, that was the event
JDz84@reddit
It’s the extension of MTV’s Super Sweet 16 generation.
I had a party in a “hall,” but only because my parent’s house was tiny and we had a large extended family. They knew a guy so the hall was like $100 to rent and the food was a pot lock. This was 2002.
moneymutantJP@reddit
My school had an in school party, similar to a regular school dance. Small town central Pennsylvania. Other than that, I didn't have any party.
TheOtherElbieKay@reddit
I mean… if someone throws a giant high school graduation party, then I assume that graduating from high school is a major milestone for them.
I did not personally feel like it was an accomplishment to graduate from high school. I was much more excited to move out and go to college. I hated high school and told my boomer parents that I did not want a party. They ignored me and threw one anyway. (It was relatively modest and at our house.)
When my kids graduate from high school, I could picture us hosting a bbq in the yard but not much more. I’ll save my money for their college fund.
Lakewoodian@reddit
In our community we see a lot of medium to large grad parties that easily eclipse 40 and some that could scale up to hundreds who attend an open house style event. I own a pair of 10x30 party tents and we lend them out to friends, family and acquaintances. My only fee is a bottle of liquor and by the end of the summer my cabinet is bursting with all kinds of fun and exciting ways to get hammered. Then we throw our own summer bash and have an open bar to partake in the spoils. Community building is fun!
CrazyLooseNeneGoose@reddit
It must depend on the location because these comments are crazy to me. I’m from Hawaii and grad parties are extremely common here and have been for a long time (they’re not a “social media thing”).
I graduated in ‘99 and me and my two cousins that graduated the same year threw a big combined party with a couple hundred guests. Most of my friends that graduated that year also had grad parties - mostly catered food, rented hall, live music, but sometimes just a big house party under a canopy tent.
rebkas@reddit
When I lived in HI, y'all threw parties for EVERYTHING! I loved the 1yr bday ones- I took portrait studio pics and easily sold $300+ for the 1st yr invites!!
CrazyLooseNeneGoose@reddit
Haha those are the two big ones, grad parties and baby’s first luau
Ff-9459@reddit
I’m in Indiana, and it was common here too. My party was fairly small, but my friends had much larger parties.
CrazyLooseNeneGoose@reddit
That’s good to know. I will say high school grad parties are common here but not so much college grad parties.
Ok_Ad3036@reddit
The night that I graduated, word went around about someone having a party. The school was out in the boondocks to begin with and I didn’t know the address of the party. I was supposed to just follow someone. By the time I could find my parents to let them know, everyone had already left, so I missed it all.
SageObserver@reddit
I have a relative with a high school graduate tell me he’s been to almost a dozen parties of his kid’s peers. When the hell did all of these parties become a social event for the adults?
makeup1508@reddit
We had an open house when I graduated from high school. But I've noticed that bridal showers and baby showers have become huge events at a "venue" as opposed to the bridal shower that was thrown for me at my mother in laws. So a lot of parties have gotten out of control.
GrumpyCatStevens@reddit
I don’t remember much of a celebration (class of ‘86 here). We probably went out for dinner afterwards, but again I don’t recall specifics. It was almost forty years ago, after all.
crobertdillon@reddit
In 1987 our graduation party was to ditch the family and have a keg party at the lake.
caregivermahomes@reddit
I mean I have no idea, I’ve been a single mom since my children’s father passed away. I have zero extra funds for a graduation party. I did manage to get her a car tho. We don’t even know that many people really, and my family is elderly and spread out😕mine was bleak, a couple showed up to my mom’s basement and I was humiliated honestly.
Oktodayithink@reddit
My kid just graduated and it was a small backyard bbq party. So chill. I’ve heard nothing about big parties.
gum43@reddit
I had a big party in ‘93. My daughter wanted a big party. We threw one on Saturday and it went ok. Unfortunately we have small extended families and they didn’t show up for her. So, I’m glad she invited her friends as at least they showed up. My party in ‘93 was actually bigger. I’m really hoping neither of my sons want a party. I’d rather just pay them and not deal with it. We spent over $1,000 and didn’t even do anything big.
susannahstar2000@reddit
When I graduated, mid 70s, my mother took me out to dinner and I got a 2nd hand stereo, which I was very happy to get. I didn't know anyone who would have had a big celebration.
Iko87iko@reddit
You know what I got for graduation? It was a banner f***in' year at the old Bender house Sr. Year. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said "Hey. Smoke up Johnny."
Anonymo123@reddit
We had a sheet cake, few cards and close friends. I was hardly there though, wandering around to other graduation parties. Grad in 92 as well.
valr1821@reddit
My dad took our family, my aunt and uncle, and a good family friend (who was my mentor and helped me navigate getting into an Ivy League school) out for a nice dinner. We celebrated my graduation and my being valedictorian. That was what I wanted, so that was what he gave me. Low-key and lovely.
ihaveafunnyname71@reddit
My grad party in 1989 was more of a going away party since I was leaving for bootcamp a few weeks later. It was still just a backyard BBQ with a few friends and mostly family. My recruiter and a couple of my favorite teachers showed up too.
specialKsquared@reddit
My daughter just graduated. I asked her if she wanted a party or to go on a trip. She chose a trip to Boston and loved it. She attended her friend’s parties and commented how she was glad she chose the trip.
No_Maintenance_9608@reddit
I think my parents just took me to a restaurant, ate, and then went home. Nothing too eventful.
Talking80s@reddit
Class of 87. Graduation at the high school, over to my aunt’s house for a piece of cake, then back to the high school where I went to the school sponsored lock in deal overnight with about 95% of the rest of my class, got home at 6am, slept in until noon, then went to work the next day.
I got nothing.
wakattawakaranai@reddit
93, the thing to do for my smallish school in my small hometown was to party-hop, since most of your friends in your 300+ class were having their parties on one of three June weekends. Most of us were like, but if we're all hosting parties who can even come to them? Oh wait we go to all of them! Mine was earlier in the afternoon and like your kiddo's, grilled meats and a few presents, so that I could then pop out to three more parties through the night.
All the comments about overblowing every little thing with a party is true, though. And why? So someone can sell you more decorating shit and "traditions" involving special items you must buy. Don't do it, don't fall for it. Save your money and party for the big stuff.
FAx32@reddit
We had some family and friends over for cake and well wishes both for my own in 1988 as well as my 3 kids in 2016, and 2023. We had to zoom in 2020 after a lame “drive thru” graduation and mailed diplomas. Poor middle child (though he maintains he prefers it this way).
slayursister@reddit
I got a season pass for the following winter at the local mtn. Was thrilled. We partied out in the woods like any other weekend.
HatesDuckTape@reddit
I’ve got 2 years until my oldest graduates high school, but she’s getting a backyard party. We’ve got a pool, a grill, a new griddle, and music. Nothing else is needed.
Yes it’s a once in a lifetime milestone and an accomplishment they should be proud of, but so what? It’s not a wedding. Those parties are so much better than any other type of party. If my wife and I had it our way, we would’ve had that type of party for our wedding. Only problem was divorced parents who still despise each other after a good 25+ years at that point and my old man not wanting my mother’s family at his house. I honestly didn’t blame him as I wouldn’t want most of them in my house either.
Repulsive-Tea6974@reddit
Nana and Papa (SilentGen) took me to a restaurant with steak, probably.
“Graduating high school is not an accomplishment. It’s barely a step towards becoming an adult.” — Pops
AZJHawk@reddit
On my way to my high school graduation my dad said “for some of the people here tonight, this will be the biggest accomplishment of their lives. Don’t make it yours.”
That stuck with me. He didn’t need to say it. I was moderately ambitious even at 18, but it’s true. He didn’t mean I had to graduate college or land a high paying job. He just meant for me to be successful at whatever I chose to do.
IS_THIS_POST_WEIRD@reddit
Graduating high school should be the expectation and, in retrospect, really is kind of a non-event.
However it is probably one of the biggest milestones a kid has experienced so far.
Recently attended a HS graduation and went through this whole range of thoughts; rather than being a grumpy old person, decided to frame it as "may you have many days in your future that are even more important and memorable than this one!"
Separate-Project9167@reddit
My family expected that I’d go to college (university) and get a four year degree. So, high my school graduation was treated as a step on the journey, not the destination.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
Ha! Pops has a point!
AZJHawk@reddit
My oldest graduated this year. We had a party with about 40 friends and parents. Spent maybe a couple hundred bucks on food and drinks (soda for kids, beer and wine for the adults).
Nothing too elaborate, but when I graduated in ‘93, it was me, my siblings, aunt and uncle and grandparents. So I think they’re definitely more elaborate now, but it was a pretty low bar for me at least.
redfoxblueflower@reddit
Class of 89 here. I read through a lot of answers and still could not for the life of me remember what, if anything, anyone did for my graduation. I remember my Grandma and Grandpa (from different sides) came to the ceremony, and that's it. After about 5 minutes of a blank brain, I remembered we had a backyard party for the neighbors. My next door neighbors, my babysitter and her son, a few workers from Mom's work who knew me. Nothing too fancy....obviously because I didn't even remember at first.
22robot44@reddit
We’re in a smallish town so lots of us have so many grad parties to go to every year. People who aren’t close family tend to just breeze through each party for less than an hour. Because of that, most people don’t go too overboard around here.
There’s always some kind of food, often a fun dessert table. Some people do a theme. There is always a table or two filled with pictures of the grad, awards, etc.
I’ve never seen hired entertainment or anything too extravagant, other than one party that had a food truck.
Redhillvintage@reddit
What is with super everything parties? It’s out of control
11BMasshole@reddit
My youngest graduated last month, he didn’t want a party, a lot of his friends didn’t have parties. The ones who did have parties weren’t extravagant. He did get a ton of cash from Aunts , Uncles and various people in our lives which I thought was too much, but what do I know.
bizzy816@reddit
Class of 86 here.... my parents threw a family cookout (which probably would have taken place anyway, my family got together almost every weekend), I got some cards with cash, took a few pictures in my cap and gown and then I bolted to a party for our foreign exchange student.
Caninetrainer@reddit
We didn’t have participation trophies or take our moms to interviews either.
Ff-9459@reddit
I got a lot of participation trophies and ribbons growing up.
Far_Winner5508@reddit
Or prom!
Far_Winner5508@reddit
Parents throwing a grad party?!
That sounds kinda weird.
Only recognition I got was mom telling me after graduating high school I now had to start paying rent.
Ff-9459@reddit
It doesn’t sound weird to me at all. Everyone I knew had graduation parties.
Just_Me1973@reddit
Everything has to be super duper fancy these days. Have you seen any of the posts about weddings? Good god those have gotten over the top.
Top_Professor_8260@reddit
My graduation party was a bunch of us drinking booze around a fire. Our parents maybe took us out to dinner but graduation parties were left up to us graduates to do for ourselves
IdubdubI@reddit
As genX, I’d say those kids having the biggest parties are probably the ones closest to their peak in life.
You’re good. My son wanted his 18th birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, for reference of my parenting.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
Ha! Love it.
Ff-9459@reddit
I had a party with some family, friends of the family, etc. Some of my friends had giant parties though. I remember everyone getting a lot of money for gifts. Then there was always a secret ledger or two afterwards without the family.
fruitcup729again@reddit
Are you in Hawaii? When I graduated in the 90s, my dad rented a hall and had a 100+ people come. That was pretty standard for Hawaii. It's just always been a tradition here, I think because graduating high school was less common back in the day. The parties have definitely gotten more elaborate. Mine was catered food and a boom box for music. My son just graduated this year and his (and most of his peers that we attended) have a DJ/live music, a slideshow, photobooth, some kind of games, etc. They are almost wedding scale now (although that bar has shifted up too).
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
No, in the Northeast, but my town has a lot of wealthy families.
ancientastronaut2@reddit
Did you smack your sister in law? 👋
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
In my mind, through the phone.
Life_Transformed@reddit
There is no way I would ask my mom to attend a big stadium graduation for college, I didn’t go. Sit around in a robe for god knows how long, no thanks
I don’t remember if there was anything else we did. It was no big deal to me.
ronejr71@reddit
I swear it was the generation after us. I never saw some lavish party even though I went to several "high income houses" during graduation in 1990.
1989DiscGolfer@reddit
Punch and cake at my house. A few dozen classmates stopped by. That was it! 1991.
Mscharlita@reddit
We all do what we can.
You sound like you have a really great kid who is happy with what you are doing.
My sister threw a pretty nice party with like a professional balloon arch/decorations and catering (just tacos from a home based business) but she has twins so it was for both of them and one is special needs so she wasn’t sure if that child would ever have another graduation. But my dad and his wife were pretty snarky about it like she had done “too much” and it was extravagant. So it seems like ppl can be critical both ways and you just should do what’s right for your family no matter what and don’t worry about it.
Valuable_Ad8923@reddit
We rented a hall and had a band. Class of 90
ColonelBourbon@reddit
I don't remember any sort of party.
Whitey1969SC@reddit
I was at one last week at a prestigious country club. 150 people sit down dinner. I been to lesser weddings
21stNow@reddit
I went to one at a five-star hotel with catering, a DJ, and casino games.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
Wtf?? I just... can't. But I feel the same about sweet 16 parties. Please.
MinusGovernment@reddit
Pinterest has made people want to one up what they just saw somebody post. It's led to all the stupid shit like the ridiculous gender reveals also.
ideknem0ar@reddit
I had to get dragged to graduation. I just wanted to go home afterwards and collapse, which I probably did. Other than the photo taken in the parking lot and the skeeters swarm because it was outdoors in a hemlocky glen, I have no memory of it.
tunaman808@reddit
My parents didn't do much - basically a small reception at our house for the family with cake and punch and a few presents.They knew my primary party was taking place at [undisclosed hotel] later that evening.
This was in 1989.
REC_HLTH@reddit
(Older Millennial/Xennial here) Our kid had a very big party (attendance-wise) but it was not expensive. It was come-and-go style. It was not fancy. It was a really fun way to greet people who have been a part of her life for the last 18 years.
hermitzen@reddit
Just wait until your kid gets engaged, married and starts having children. The engagement parties, bachelor/bachelorette "destination events", weddings, and gender reveal parties are so over the top these days. Young people complain about how they can't afford apartments or houses. Maybe if they didn't spend 10s of thousands of dollars on each of these events, they have some money left over to live on. I can't believe what my nephew and his wife have spent on all of these things! Of course as parent/grandparent you may be expected to pitch in. Thank goodness I never had kids.
OnlyGuestsMusic@reddit
My kid graduated, we had immediate family and a few friends at a local gastropub. Everybody is extra these days. This is the only social I actively use. My sister sends me instagram posts of kids birthdays, Easter, etc., looking like rich people’s Christmas. Stacks of gifts. It’s absurd. I’ve seen toddlers birthdays more extravagant than weddings. It’s insane.
Affectionate_Yam4368@reddit
We didn't throw a grad party this year because graduating kid didn't want one. We just had some family over and got a cake.
The only person I know who threw a rager (rented a space, 100+ guests, ice cream truck, catered food, DJ, etc) is a family who's daughter is special needs (power wheelchair user, some cognitive issues). She's a lovely young lady, and her congenital health issues mean she may not live long enough to make it to a wedding. She isn't going on to any further formal education. This was her moment, and I know that played into the party planning.
My boys (now entering 10th grade) are part of a friend group that will all throw MASSIVE parties. They've already approached me about bounce houses...which I'm not mad at, honestly.
My "party" when I graduated was moving my stuff out of my Mom's apartment because my parents' divorce was final the day before and she was leaving for her new life across the country the day after.
Betacucktard@reddit
It's all about social competition and Instagram. One kid gets a fancy party and now they all want one. They pressure their parents into it. It's all bullshit.
No-Regular-4281@reddit
High school? Tell me what’s happening in grade 8? It’s a joke. I call it a party just for the Instagram
andreamichele6033@reddit
Wait until they get engaged. That whole thing is another ridiculous mess. My friend’s daughter has an entire script like a goddang movie on how her engagement is supposed to happen.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
I have a daughter too and I can’t even bear to think about all of that. Luckily she still thinks boys are gross.
Cold_Device9943@reddit
We had a school party but I had to go to work the next day after graduation, so that was a no. I agree with some of the posters, everything is a participation trophy now. I don't even remember if my parents took me out to dinner before hand. I graduated with a kid who was literally illiterate, high school was no big achievement.
IKnowAllSeven@reddit
We are in the Midwest so the parties have been in backyards but there is also a trend towards renting a place, but it’s typically renting a park pavilion or a UAW hall or community rec center room. I think that’s less “we are fancy” and more “we don’t want to get the house ready for a bunch of guests” Guest counts range from 50-100.
For my kids’ graduation party we rented a park pavilion and got shawarma. But we are Midwest to the core so at the end of the party I pulled out my bag of misfit tupperware containers and told everyone to take home leftovers. We got donuts instead of cake.
One family did a crawfish boil but they’re from New Orleans so they do one every year. That was probably the “fanciest”.
A couple were held at nice restaurants with about a dozen people, usually just family and one or two friends.
And some kids, they do nothing, just go to parties and have fun.
CittaMindful@reddit
Your sister in law is a b**ch.
Tasty-Building-3887@reddit
Same, mine was very low key
Nofanta@reddit
Mine was same as what you’re doing. Never even heard about these more lavish ones. My oldest is about to be a junior and I’m sure we’ll just have a small get together.
BrownDogEmoji@reddit
My daughter just graduated high school, and the parties are out of control. Like, I’m not spending $40,000 on a high school graduation party.
She got a family dinner at the restaurant of her choice and a small backyard party with her bestie.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
My inner 16/17-year-old thinks that sounds just perfect.
BrownDogEmoji@reddit
Same.
pocketdare@reddit
I didn't know this was a thing. No kids.
But ask yourself if your kid will care in 10 years that they didn't have a huge high school graduation party. The answer is probably no and therefore isn't worth blowing a bunch of money on.
Real-Emu507@reddit
My parents did have a big party for me. Catered. My uncle had his friend who owned a bar set up a bar and he bartended. I offered my kids the cash it would cost to skip a big part and my two that have graduated said no they wanted a party. They're such weirdos lol. I would've taken the $
Medik8td@reddit
I woke up in a field with my BFF after a massive kegger and 3 bands played on someone property out in the country. Hundreds of us were there and we all pitched in our own money to throw the party. My mom might have gotten me a card or something? I think it’s stupid to have a big expensive party for doing the legal bare minimum. LOL.
deignguy1989@reddit
There will always be those people that are just “extra” about everything. Don’t give it a thought. My sister ( younger GenX)just threw a grad party for my nephew at the local community center. BIL smoked some brisket, had mac&cheese, veggies, snacks, a little dessert table with cookies and cupcakes and they had about 50-60 people, family members and friends. It was a great party and my nephew was thrilled, because, after all, he just wanted the money! Lol.
BradleyFerdBerfel@reddit
I mowed the lawn,......probably.
Duchess_Witch@reddit
Umm- we had people buy us mass amounts of liquor, had a huge party with pizza and music and we all crashed at my girls apartment. No adults.
hammyburgler@reddit
Everything with kids these days is over the top and ridiculous.
siamesecat1935@reddit
I didn’t have a hs grad party but I had one for college. At my house, outside, with cold cut platters, salads, beer and wine and a big ass cake. It was hotter than hades so not much food was eaten, but it was fun. And casual
Burto72@reddit
It's high school. It's not that difficult to graduate. An excellent GPA is another story. But I graduated high school with a decent GPA and I never expected, nor had a graduation party.
Ornery_File_3031@reddit
I don’t think I got anything for high school. For college I didn’t even attend my graduation, large state school and my mom and dad sat through my older siblings graduation and it was interminable. My parents gave me $100 for not forcing them to sit through it, I still think that was a good deal
Cobra-Lalalalalalala@reddit
I saw/took pics with my parents briefly after the ceremony, then said ‘see you tomorrow’ and hopped in my car with friends to head out to the very much unofficial graduation keg party at the lake.
My parents might have taken me out to dinner or something as a treat at some point, but there sure as shit wasn’t any big fuss for accomplishing something so basic as finishing HS.
Interesting_Cut_7591@reddit
My parents took me to Tony Roma's for an onion loaf and ribs. I thought I was living the high life!
restingbitchface2021@reddit
I graduated in the 80’s. I had lots of food and three kegs. We ran out of beer.
My kids had lots of food and less beer.
archedhighbrow@reddit
Before graduation, my dad and stepmother came to visit at my mom's house. I received a necklace from them. My mom bought my simple graduation summer dress.
muphasta@reddit
we lived out in the sticks on 5 acres with farm buildings. We had a graduation open house when I graduated. It was held in our barn. I don't remember how many people came, but I do remember I received $1200 in gifts!
When I got married 9 years later, my parents threw us a (my) hometown reception in that same barn. I got married on the west coast, 2500ish miles from where I grew up.
My eldest graduated and for various reasons, didn't want much of a party. We threw a small backyard event for him. Just family friends and relatives. It was a nice little gathering of people who care about him. We'll do something similar for your youngest in 26. He is much more social so we'll probably have to invite many of his friends and some of their parents we know.
It will be simple though.
Health_Wellness9227@reddit
My “graduation party” was going to the organized by someone else class party that was a keg of beer in the woods
JuliasTooSmallTutu@reddit
Some kids have always had super splashy graduation parties, we just didn't see them because there was no social media. There might be more pressure nowadays to have one to post on sm but it's not new. It's the same thing with Bar Mitzvahs/Sweet Sixteens/Quincenera's some of them have always been expensive affairs, I recall one of my college professors talking about a Bar Mitzvah he attended where the Beastie Boys performed.
circa68@reddit
I had a small get together with relatives and I loved it!
No_Today_4903@reddit
It’s sheer insanity. When my oldest graduated 3 years ago we went to one that I know the parents paid more for than my entire wedding cost. It was in some huge, old, gorgeous building. They spared no expense. They even had personalized napkin rings. I’m like wtf is happening? Earlier in the year I had parents that had kids in 11th grade asking if I had booked a venue, catering, a food truck. I’m like for a grad party?????? No. Hell no. No. When I graduated we went to kids houses and based how much fun we had by how many kegs of beer they had. Ffs. I rented out a pavilion at a local park the week of for him. We had pizza, pop, cupcakes and cookies from Sam’s club. This year we did the exact same thing for his sister. When our youngest graduates in 5 years he will have the same. I’m not paying thousands for weddings, graduation parties, madness. The amount of money that people spend on things blows my mind. Omg prom dresses! Hahaha some parents will pay $1000 on those! My wedding dress didn’t cost that much!
Just-Finish5767@reddit
We had family and close friends over when my oldest graduated. When my niece, who is very into instagram and tiktok, graduated, it was pretty much the same. Backyard party with a volleyball net set up. The only nod to "grammable" was a pretty backdrop for photos.
I think we as parents are too inclined to see this kind of stuff on instagram and think we have to do it for our kids at least as much as the kids want it for themselves. I know that personally when my kids were little I obsessed over the details. As they got older, we moved toward a hang-out style party most of the time, so that's how the grad parties were, too.
FlippingPossum@reddit
My kids (19 &21) opted for no grad parties. They wanted to go out to eat instead. My grad celebration was also dining out. Throwing a party is not my idea of a good time.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
Sigh, it's not mine, either. My kid probably would have been thrilled just to get a steak dinner, but the grandparents were pushing for a party. I should have just let him decide.
ShutYourDumbUglyFace@reddit
First, I must respond to your SIL: "I'd feel bad if I raised a kid so materialistic that they were concerned about the size of a party thrown in their honor."
Second, we had a party in our backyard and invited her friends and some of her friends' parents. We "split" the party between us and her best friend. We don't have family nearby. The party was for the kid, to celebrate the kid's (and her friends') accomplishment. I was just glad that she was popular enough to have friends who wanted to come celebrate with her.
bird9066@reddit
I didn't graduate. Got my ged eventually.
My kids picked a restaurant and a few family members they wanted there. That was it.
But me and my kids always had this thing where we didn't need a special occasion to do for each other. We did shit when we could afford it, lol. We see something the other would like, we get it for them.
It makes Christmas and birthdays kinda low key but it's how we roll
kimapesan@reddit
Remember those kids from our generation that peaked in high school?
Yeah, kids getting these kinds of parties are doing exactly that, and their parents know it.
LilJourney@reddit
I got a cake. Couple of cards with some money.
Mugwumps_has_spoken@reddit
tell you SIL that your son doesn't need a massive party to celebrate graduating high school since the achievement is the reward. He is old enough now he doesn't need mommy and daddy throwing parties to pat him on the back for every milestone like she did with his first words or first steps.
I mean lay it on thick. The kids are graduating high school. not law school or med school. They aren't getting married.
betweentourns@reddit
My mom gave me a bag of fancy trail mix. And I was happy with it.
Think_Leadership_91@reddit
Were there 100 person graduation parties for Gen X in the 1980s?
Yes, because I grew up in a wealthy area
Tralfaz1138@reddit
When I graduated in '84 I got nothing. No dinner, no cash, no party. Most of our extended family lived in various parts of the US so no family gathering either. I don't remember any of my friends having a graduation party either.
unemployedMusketeer@reddit
Parents don’t have parties for their kids. They have part to give themselves a pat on the back (and for the gram, because it’s all about likes). These were probably the same parents that started with gender reveal parties and it just went down hill from there. This generation is so fucked.
For the record, I have an upcoming sr this year. I’m currently unemployed so funds maybe limited going forward. I’m going to do my best to celebrate in a meaningful and intentional way this marker, but I’m more for preparing him for his future. With any luck I can help him get a reliable car when he gets his license( I hated my 20s because I drove unreliable beaters for the greater part of that era…oh the anxiety and prayers hoping the car would start sometimes) But that’s for him, not for me.
SmallHeath555@reddit
My kid graduated last year, we had a backyard thing. No one near us in New England had the mega fancy parties I see down south, it’s not a thing here just like the crazy prom send offs are not a thing.
phlpw@reddit
The generation after us has a serious case of
Normal-Philosopher-8@reddit
I graduated in 1987 and threw my own graduation party. My parents thought it was a blatant cash grab, and had looked down on families around us who did it, but I liked throwing parties, going to the other kids parties and yes, I needed the money. We served sandwiches, pasta salads, chips and cake. Over 100 people came. I received enough money to get started renting my studio apartment for college.
My parents talk about it as this lovely memory of how all our friends came and supported me. Yes, they did. But my parents put me through hell to have it and made me feel cheap for doing it. I have journal entries to prove I’m not just misremembering.
But yes, it was common in my blue collar Rust Belt town to throw big graduation parties, including some held at firehalls or church community rooms. Every one understood that this was a way of paying a few dollars in a card so kids had a little nest egg to start adulthood.
In my opinion, that was a good thing.
DeezDoughsNyou@reddit
100 person pool party in ‘89. Key master, pizza and kegs in effect. Great night. People at my 35th recalled it fondly. But anything would have been great.
SouthOrlandoFather@reddit
I graduated in 1992 and I think just had some random setup in our garage. Our oldest graduated in 2028 and I can’t imagine will be a big thing as we are not “big thing people” and we have zero family in the state we live in.
Transphattybase@reddit
The only expectations that matter are your child’s expectations. For every family spending boatloads of cash at a rental hall or other type of facility, there is a family just having a small gathering of friend’s and families and having just as good a time. Do what feels good to you and your kid. The people coming, honestly, don’t care. Just enjoy the day and your accomplishments.
Medium-Mission5072@reddit
I graduated in 98, and all my mom did was take me out to dinner with my stepdad and my ex girlfriend (we were already broken up by than). At dinner they me cards from my mom and my grandmother who couldn't make it because she lived 800 miles away both with $25 each in them. No huge parties as most of my friends after we were handed our diplomas said our goodbyes and went our separate ways never to see or talk to each other again and my family lived too far away (don't even get me started about my dad not showing up).
Donedirtcheap7725@reddit
I graduated in '93, and my younger brother finished 8th grade that same year. We had a small party with family and a few friends. I didn’t really want a party, but my mom told me, “No party, no presents,” so I capitulated.
Wiser_Owl99@reddit
My graduation party was at my childhood home. Sandwich platter. Fried chicken, rigatoni, and some side salads.
I have a pool, so we had a pool party for my daughter's graduation, and I had it catered, but I have a huge family so there are 100 people if just the family shows up.
I have the family over the same day every year for a family picnic and had the grad party on the same day , so everyone could make it. They were thrilled that it was catered and they didn't need to bring a dish.
Taurusmoon66@reddit
My graduation was at 4, my senior prom was at 8 until 5am. The idea was to keep us off the roads; multiple bands, alot of food, raffles. The drinking age was 18 so we were kind off lit going in, parked a couple streets from the school in a CJ5. No top. Boys and girls walking to the prom in tuxes and dresses shotgunning Coors Golden cans. What a site we probably were. Most were showing up in limmos ad sports cars, that was 84 though.
Legitimate_Catch_626@reddit
I had a party with my close friends and relative. Maybe about 20ish people. Some of my friends had parties that were much larger. My daughter just graduated this past Thursday. She just wants a dinner with her sister and me. I don’t think the size is generational, just a combination of wealth and personal wants.
ajn3323@reddit
Isn’t everything just a bit over the top these days?! Grad parties are no exception. You should give zero fcks what everyone else is doing.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
I know. I am working on shutting down that Nagging Mom Guilt/Lingering Adolescent Insecurity thing I got going on.
ajn3323@reddit
We all fall prey to it now and then
Several-Honey-8810@reddit
Me
Then me
More attention on me
Oh yeah, me
nativesc@reddit
There is nothing simplistic about Gen z. Promposal, dorm room decorations, etc. it’s really tragic
Mean-Repair6017@reddit
I got yelled at by my parents at my graduation. We arrived separately and I greeted them drunk and high. So I can't blame them.
No other gifts or celebrations were even planned.
Techchick_Somewhere@reddit
We went to Dairy Queen after, and many of the other graduates showed up there too. That’s it. Me, my kid and my friend. What else is there to do? 😂
qning@reddit
People know this is the last accomplishment they will celebrate. College sucks because it’s all gen ai and otherwise getting gutted by the federal government. There are no jobs. No one is getting married. It’s not like there are going to be house warming parties.
The_Burghanite@reddit
Nah. I would be doing what you’re doing, except our house is always a wreck. So we rented a small picnic grove at a local park. We’ll do burgers and dogs. Our son is fine with this. And not everyone is dong grad parties.
Separate-Project9167@reddit
My celebration was going out to eat afterward. I got to choose the restaurant. It was my parents, brother, and Grandma. I don’t remember if my parents gave me money - if they did, it was probably $20 😂
snerdie@reddit
Some people my brother and sister-in-law know held a 200-person grad party for their daughter that sounded fancier than a lot of weddings.
I had my core group of about 15 friends over a few weeks after graduation. It was super low-key. I can't even remember if any neighbors/parental friends were there.
coopnjaxdad@reddit
I got kicked out of the house for graduating by my parents. My girlfriends parents took me to Village Inn! Rad.
Pedals17@reddit
My Sweet 16 undoubtedly contributed to these egregiously over the top expectations for birthday parties, graduations, etc. The 2000’s brought a ridiculous level of materialism that still hasn’t fucked off despite the precarious state of the modern economy.
TraKat1219@reddit
I graduated in 91 and I didn’t have a party, I went to everyone else’s party instead and had way more fun in my opinion.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
My son has been having a blast going to his rich friends' parties, and I am happy that their parents are footing that bill!
ONROSREPUS@reddit
My parents had a small one for my sister and I. Maybe 15 family members and we had our close friends over. Nothing huge no decorations or anything like that.
WhoCalledthePoPo@reddit
No party or much in the way of recognition or celebration when I graduated HS. My Dad, a wonderful man, gave me a wristwatch which I still have. It was not a fun time in my life.
By contrast - I have several children. When they graduate HS, we have a cookout. Serve their favorite foods and drinks, and invite anyone who wants to come by. While we could afford to throw a huge bash, we think it's kind of silly, at least for us - no judgement on what others do. Rather save the money, really.
JoeyKino@reddit
I was made to attend my own graduation party (which was at my house - handful of family and a few friends of family I didn't really care about), where I waited to be let loose so I could go by a few friends' equally modest parties before going out to celebrate.
Who's going to have 100 people attend a party when everyone's graduation parties are all within a couple weeks of each other?
On the other hand, I just attended my cousin's oldest son's graduation party, and he (the cousin, not the son) said my graduation party was the first big family event he remembers in our family after my uncle married his mom... so maybe it was memorable for some.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
Agree - my SIL, who is having 100+ people at my niece's party, said they now have graduation party obligations every weekend all summer long. No, thank you.
Figran_D@reddit
I’m not anti party as the milestone is a good reason to get family together. But I do agree that the huge blowouts are a bit much.
It’s high school, 90 % of kids graduate. Now college is a different beast, only 35% graduate from college.
My parents did not throw a high school grad party for me, told me if I wanted a party to graduate from college, which I did.
Full_Mission7183@reddit
I miss covid when we could just drive by the parties and beep.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
You and me both. It instantly solved so many problems for those of us who are not as people-y.
TBeIRIE@reddit
I’m currently helping the family I work for plan their son’s 7th birthday party. It’s a bigger event than I’ve ever even attended (weddings included).
Things have drastically changed!
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
Thanks everyone, I just needed a reality check from my fellow GenXers. Sometimes I get caught up in self-doubt and then I realize my field of fucks lay barren.
MadPiglet42@reddit
We had a bonfire in the backyard with hotdogs and hamburgers and all that, then after the family left, my parents "forgot" there was a whole cooler of beer out there. My friends and I got a little tipsy, set shit on fire, and had just the best time. 1993.
DoookieMaxx@reddit
It started when we collectively agreed that it’d be ok to celebrate graduating pre-school …then each year of grade school …then trophies for everyone …
When we were kids the pressure was on upper middle class families to buy their kid a car …now it’s a world of “honey boo boo’s” that all want the best party for their special day.
upnytonc@reddit
I graduated in 96. We had a party in my parent’s backyard. It was family and friends. I think my parents just grilled some burgers and hot dogs. And we had some trays of catered salads/sides. They was more do my mom didn’t have to make everything. And a big sheet cake for dessert. This was basically the same party all my friends had, maybe with slightly different food options. I grew up in a blue collar area.
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
Yes, this is 100% what I remember from growing up in my small hometown. A lot of cookouts during graduation summer. And then I had friends whose parents did nothing at all.
booksandcats4life@reddit
When I graduated high school in 1985 my parents took me out to a nice restaurant for dinner.
When my nephew and niece graduated (millennials), my sister invited their friends and some close relatives over for a cookout.
I've heard about people throwing big parties for their kids' HS graduation, but it seems more about the parents than the kids. I figure most kids want to just hang out with their friends with snacks and maybe access to a video game console.
bene_gesserit_mitch@reddit
The fuck? If this is a thing, you can shove it with your $3k prom budgets and similar. Kid wants a big party, they can foot the bill.
JDRL320@reddit
This is what my mother in law did for her first born grandson 19 years ago. My sister in law and her son & daughter lived with them.
They had a pool party, catered, huge ass balloon arch, they had a DJ & a dance group come to hype up the 100-some guests doing dances like Thriller, Cupid shuffle ….
bullgod55435@reddit
Both of my kids went through that. We did a small family party for my older daughter. Our baby got a trip to Cancun with her friends.
MacaroonFormal6817@reddit
I graduated in the 80s, but any parties we threw them ourselves.
Some people just love having parties. Usually (but not always) people with money. So any excuse to have a party.
fridayimatwork@reddit
My mom had a party and just invited HER friends. I got some nice presents though I was bored to death
fridayimatwork@reddit
Super duper fancy everything
KCcoffeegeek@reddit
It’s all driven by social media.
grateful_john@reddit
Keg party, people came from all over. Cops looked the other way.
When my son graduated high school four years ago we had a lunch with his grandparents. The school threw a “project graduation” thing at a ndoor sports place nearby. One friend threw a party for kids and their parents. It was also during the pandemic (but after vaccines came out).
Suspicious_Time7239@reddit
For both of my sons we just had a nice dinner out after commencement. Close family only. No party.
Any-Perception3198@reddit
O know there was a party in a hotel room. Don’t remember much else.
tragicsandwichblogs@reddit
I have no idea. Maybe I had some friends over? There was a school-sponsored party I didn’t go to. After my college graduation we went to lunch with extended family.
User47B@reddit
I think it may be a regional thing? IDK. But just about everyone had open houses where I lived (rural Midwestern town). They weren’t catered events, but they were typically held in the daytime in your backyard with homemade food (salads, cookies, cake) and things like cold cuts and rolls. My sibling and I each had one (I graduated in 1990) and we attended a bunch of them for family friends in the 80’s.
My kids graduated HS in 2020 and 2022. Nobody had parties in 2020, but we attended a number of them for our 2022 kid’s friends. Very similar vibe to what I remember as a kid - just slightly fancier. Mostly backyard daytime affairs … lots of outside tent/table rentals and catered food (ranging from Chipotle to local barbecue joints to food trucks), but also a lot of them where they cleaned out the garage and set up in there and provided homemade food.
put_simply@reddit
if you raised your kid to be appreciative of the party you're throwing, you've done well. Enjoy that and piss on the haters.
Suspicious_Time7239@reddit
indeed
Dangerous_Prize_4545@reddit
Me and my two besties went out to dinner then a field party. I believe someone brought fireworks. It was a lot less civilized and fancy than the high school party/graduation episodes of BH 90210 or One Tree Hill, but that kinda gives you an idea. I don't know anyone that had parties with their families.
No parents were included or harmed in any of those events.
gangofone978@reddit
Where I’m from we essentially just have cookouts or outdoor picnics that are catered (nothing fancy). It’s more of a working class area. When I graduated we had a cookout at my grandparents’ house since they had a big yard. So not much has really changed
I’m sure some people go overboard, but it isn’t the norm:
Weekly-Standard8444@reddit (OP)
That makes total sense to me, having a family party and then a separate party for friends. It never even occurred to me to mix everyone together, but that seems to be common here!
Thirty_Helens_Agree@reddit
Immediate family came over, friends who were making the circuit and visiting everyone’s graduation parties stopped by for a little bit. Nothing fancy.
My nephew just graduated and had basically the same thing.
iheartmycats820@reddit
I graduated in 1985. My best friend had me and one other friend over for a family BBQ. We had a great time! I am pretty sure I didn't get any sort of graduation gift.