Im tired. Just tired | TheaterFire

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Tott1337@reddit

This thread / comments is as real as it gets and you’re definitely not alone in this.

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That last is all we can ever do, in the long run.

Take care of yourself, and I wish your kids the best of luck.

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UnsaneInTheMembrane@reddit

When the Gen oh Side was happening in Is real, I quit my job and coasted on my savings so I didn't have to pay taxes.

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finfan44@reddit

I think I got a bit of a kick in the pants on this one as a teen. My dad died in my living room of a heart attack when I was in high school. It was literally the last night before his last day of work. All he had to do was go in, clean out his desk in the morning and cut the cake and accept a plaque at his retirement party. I grew up hearing about all the things he wanted to do during retirement and he didn't get to do a one. I decided that was never going to happen to me so I've spent my entire life living on the cheap, working for as long as I needed to save enough money to go do something. I've done a lot of things. Doesn't mean I'm happy. It doesn't mean i feel fulfilled. It doesn't mean I don't wish for death every day. But it means I've got lots of stories no one wants to hear. And people all over the world who most likely sometimes remember me, but probably not very often.

This is starting to sound like the scene of all the guys in the house towards the end of Fight Club.

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ElJefe0218@reddit

I've been doing that my whole life and only recently, maybe 4 years ago when I turned 50, I just quit patronizing and doing stuff for people just because I can. Quality of life has improved immensely. It's also like no one noticed I was doing everything so I'm just a happier person now, with less to do.

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Big-Ant8273@reddit

Y'all have Existential Depression - ask me how I know!

Brit Hartley on YouTube

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Da_full_monty@reddit

Im sooo over working..Ive had a job for 41 years. Sunday afternoons make me feel like crap when I remember I have to keep going back, prob for at least 10 more years since I dont have much of a 401k . Im at work now..just want to go home and have a beer or 4.

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ManintheMT@reddit

Sunday afternoons make me feel like crap

I too suffer from the "Sunday scaries", and I am so sick of serving a company so I can just exist to do it again tomorrow.

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sonicmach1@reddit

I call it Smonday. Friday great, Saturday great, Sunday wake up not so good fretting that another week is coming. 32 years in now - post college. I am feeling the wear down. Before that 2 years of surveying summer job, before that Kmart after school and weekends, before that paper route, before that mowing and raking leaves. My childhood ended in 6th grade.

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skins-rangers@reddit

My entire motivation is waiting til retirement. The only time I'm truly happy is when I am not at work. To be honest, I used to work much harder years ago. I just don't have the patience for people anymore.

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LunaTheLouche@reddit

Oh yeah, this is definitely me. I've been through a few times in my life where I was seriously considering ending it, but fortunately I'm not there now. But yeah, I've largely given up on my health - I don't exercise, I'm on a variety of meds for a variety of issues, I don't care what I look like. I'm lucky that I have a lovely wife and an adorable cat, but no friends, no kids and I barely speak to my wider family.

But I am happy in my job finally doing something creative that I was actually trained for. It doesn't pay much, but I can keep my head down, listen to music, finish at 5pm. If I can hang on in this until I retire, then I think I'll have done quite alright.

I'm with you on that. And I'm trying to figure it out.

Like, all my life I've been working toward accomplishing something toward a positive end result. (Work a job to earn money to support a family, etc.). Been there. Done that. Now what?

Get a hobby? Why? To what end? Make a painting? Why? To look at it and throw it away?

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SantosHauper@reddit

Have you considered that the reason to do something is not get to the end? That the result is incidental? There's no 'reason' to dance. It's its own reason. In fact, the idea of an end result really just means a point at which you stop doing something.

I have made thousands of drawings, paintings and sculptures that ended up in the trash. Because for me, by the time there's a result, I've gotten all the energy I can from doing it. The last thing I give a shit about is a result. The stuff of life is in the process. And there are infinite processes, far more than I could ever get through in a human lifetime.

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SpaceMonkey3301967@reddit

I simply LOVE what you just wrote. Yes. 1000 times yes!

The journey is more fun than the arrival. I get that.

But-- doggone it, I'm old school. Been working since age 11 (paper route) born in a poor family, etc. I need to work to get paid. It's ingrained in me.

I'm a writer for a living. English degree. Master's in advertising. In my youth, I wrote three screenplays and a novel. Those were all about the journey and the love of writing. But, of course, I wanted financial success. One of my screenplays was being shopped around Hollywood by an agent. Fuck it. Sadly, she got cancer and passed. I was sad as hell and I gave up that dream

I write websites for Fortune 500 corporations today. It pays the bills. I hope from one company to another when laid off. In between jobs, I try to survive.

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Wazbeweez@reddit

I completely relate to this. The world is oriented towards corporation and consumerism. Everyone is trying to "get" as opposed to "be". It's hard to walk away from that sort of life when you have bills to pay. I was a musician in early twenties into thirties then became part of the working world and it was such a stark difference for me.

I'm sorry you had a disappointment like that re your screen play. It's hard. The best thing that happened to me was my marriage and family. They keep me sane in a crazy, messed up world.

To the OP, you're not alone. I feel a huge sense of apathy with the world. I don't have any friends I see at all, just my small family unit which is all that keeps me here. Life is cold, cruel, unkind, greedy, vain, (when we have the Kardashians hailed as "celebrities" we know, as a species that we've gone very wrong.). Know that you're not alone. You're seen and felt. Things that keep me sane: communicating here, coffee in the morning, warm days for strolls, tv shows, laughing with my kid....(that's the sincher) not a lot else. Take care of yourself.

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Ok_Comfortable6537@reddit

This is so true it’s funny ! Why paint. Cracking me up so sorry but…

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Temporary_Wolf_8848@reddit

Hey if you make a painting I'll hang it on my wall and look at it every day. I understand what you're saying but I do legitimately mean that.

Yes, I know.

I think part of what the original poster's point was, what I also feel, we've been through too much and we're too tired and unmotivated now.

At least that's how I feel. I'm 58. Master's degreed. Corporate America worker bee. I've been through 5 layoffs in my so-called career. I've made big money then lost it all due to layoffs. A few times over. I'm mentally tired. I'm working again now, after being laid off last fall from CVS HQ but I don't know how long this job will last. Will I have to deplete my 401(k) once again?

But then I remember somone once said “Sometimes just surviving is a victory.”

One of my grandmothers was from Frankfort, only one of her family to survive the war. That was due to coming to America in 1920. Doesn’t seem like there’s any more Americas to go to.

This! My standard answer to "What are you doing?"......."Waiting to die!"

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lose_has_1_o@reddit

I call it 'waiting for death'.

I prefer “playing out the string”. Like, this team ain’t making the playoffs, let alone winning the Series. There’s no “next season” either, so it’s not like we’re playing for a contract. We’re just cruising to a nice, easy, bottom-of-the-league-table finish, and not worrying too much about it.

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Far_Winner5508@reddit

And working at Sears sucks.

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red_wildrider@reddit

This is exactly the term I use as well.

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rumblepony247@reddit

This is me.

I have the most boring, routine life imaginable (not gonna sugarcoat it - it's due to my intentional actions and it's the way I want it), and I live for my Saturday mornings. Just me, the coffee, and the awesomely bad local news' weekend morning show in my area. From 5a to 10a Saturday mornings, I am blissful, and it's all I need.

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finfan44@reddit

I too can relate, but I don't live a boring or routine life.

I have been wishing for death for as long as I can remember at some point in early childhood. I remember being in the back yard and taking my winter jacket off and laying down in the snow after learning that dying of hypothermia was like falling asleep and being happy. My dad saw me out the window and came out and made me regret getting caught but didn't make me regret trying. I think it did or something else did click that made me never try again.

But I still have no desire to be alive. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the family I was raised in, I will say I was the youngest by a lot, my parents never wanted me and my adult siblings took pleasure in hurting me when I was still a child. but despite not "loving life" I have always done things. I've always been active because I don't like being bored, but I don't really care if I die. I take all kinds of crazy stupid risks and have almost died many times. I've never been upset when I think it is coming, but I don't actively seek it, I don't try to die, but I don't try not to either.

The most recent time I almost died, I had a heart attack. It was fairly sudden, my first one. My grandfather died of a heart attack at 55 and my dad died of a heart attack at 62. My uncle had his first heart attack at 42, so when I turned 40, I always knew it might be coming. Mine came at 44. I felt the stiffness in my chest, the pain, I thought about calling out for help but I just sat and looked at the people around me as the world blanked out and I felt myself slumping forward in my chair. As my luck would have it, I was in the waiting room of the hospital so of course they got to me in time that I woke up several hours later in intensive care with wires all over me and a doctor watching over me. I only thought, oh damn.

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cbflowers@reddit

My avatar sums up life perfectly

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Stereo-soundS@reddit

I get up and go to work so I can give my money to companies. That's how it feels right now. Get up and go to work so I can pay bills.

Even the money I do have just sits. I'll never be able to afford a house, I'm not sure what I'm even saving for other than surprise bills like car and medical.

I get where OP is coming from.

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_Impossible_Girl_@reddit

Reading these comments, I feel like I have found my people. I have felt this way for about 3 years now and I'm just... over it. Just like OP, I'm not suicidal but I wouldn't be upset knowing I won't wake up in the morning, next time I go to bed. I just don't care anymore. I wouldn't call this a crisis, so I've been calling it "existential apathy." Surely there's a better term than that, though.

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damndatassdoh@reddit

You guys should try adding some chronic pain to the mix. You talk about a solid way to sap every ounce of joy from life. Sciatica, with a chronic migraine condition for added debilitation. Oh, and add in a wife with substance abuse disorder amplified by ADHD -- someone you've known nearly their entire life, has no means of self-support, yet you love them without reserve, despite the burden they have become as you struggle to keep your business afloat, while suffering from social anxiety disorder, mixed with a level of introversion that makes any social interaction almost unbearable...

But despite this, I plow ahead.

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."

Life is TOUGH these days, and conducive to what you are feeling. I sometimes feel the same way. I think our Western society is coming to an inflection point, that if we can weather the storm, we'll find better days beyond. I don't think humanity is done for, per se, but our current mode of egotism run amok, shitting on our planet and each other, shitting on everything for the enrichment of a few... I think that system is so far out of balance it can't help but collapse.

Lessons will be learned. A better world will result. I think there are likely cycles of history unknown to us that have repeated a similar process. I think some prior civilizations actually reached the stars. I think some future ones will.

We're all here to use our energy for creation, for learning, growing, developing. Love is the sustaining force. Give it freely and it will flow back to you. Find inspiration. Find the voice of your inner self. Tap into that greater source of being that is within you, within each of us, connecting one another with each other and with everything.

But also remember, this is just a game. You, the REAL you, the soul you are, is unbound by religious nonsense. It makes its own rules, its own reality. Its power is fully unleashed in dreams, but that power is at play in the world, in your daily life. But manifesting IRL takes the element of time. So what? Time flies.

Take a week and change your focus, very deliberately, to all things you appreciate about your life. Vibe only on those things. Allow yourself to expect MORE of that, but nonchalantly -- if it happens, great; if not, maybe next time. Treat it like the game it is. Be spontaneous. Have some fun. And then realize, that's what it's about. Not those things you might lack, but the simple things you have, the joy you can have in just being mentally free in the spacious moment.

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clauderbaugh@reddit

This is my stepfather. He's essentially been my father all of my life but now his sister whom he hasn't spoken to in 30 years is his only blood relative. So I've been looking after him and all he does is watch TV every day. When I visit I offer to take him somewhere or go do something and he says "nah, I'm fine". I know he has / had dreams of buying an RV and touring around the US but then he had a stroke and he went into a depression. It puts us caretakers into a position of wanting to help but not wanting to push them into doing something they don't want to do. I just hate to see someone who busted his ass his entire life, saved money for retirement, and then relegate himself to a couch 24/7.

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Kodiak01@reddit

I just hate to see someone who busted his ass his entire life, saved money for retirement, and then relegate himself to a couch 24/7.

This is my FIL. He spent his entire adult life as a dentist, first in the military then his own practice. He used to love golf, travel and photography.

Then he retired.

He just stopped doing much of anything, sitting on the couch all day wasting away. He could of had a better retirement with a one day surgery to fix his eyes, but he refused. He had very few friends left, most all of which have abandoned him entirely since MIL died just over a year ago. Even his BIL, he stopped calling or coming around.

In the end, he couldn't take care of himself at all. He didn't cook, couldn't clean, couldn't drive (he totaled MIL's car after her death, then they pulled his license), could barely wipe his own ass. It fell to myself, wife and SIL to care for him.

Last August, it became just SIL and myself to care for him as wife broke her right foot kickboxing a week before a hysterectomy. She couldn't drive and hence out of work for 4 months. Ended up caring for both in separate households across town from each other while working 50-55hrs/wk (+45min commute each way).

A couple of months ago we finally convinced him to go into assisted living. He's at an amazing place with tons of help, friendly people and really good food. At first he was actually improving, moving around much more and a lot better than before. His mind was still going.

Now? When we take him out, he's pretty much relegated to a wheelchair. Half the time I don't think he even remembers where he is or what he is doing. If he's not in memory care by Christmas, I'll be shocked.

He basically let his mind and body rot away in retirement. Past him, wife, SIL and her husband and 3 nieces (2 on my side, one child of SIL) and two friends (one several States away) I really don't have anyone. Except for two cousins, one uncle and my two nieces, I've long since completely disowned and cut off all contact with what's left of my blood family.

I don't plan on turning into FIL in retirement, but I know the circle has steadily shrunk for me to where the day will come that I will be the one needing care and nobody will be left to do it for me.

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nflonlyalt@reddit

My Dad retired at 55 and it was the worst thing that ever happened to him. I plan on working as long as I can.

Can I opt out of this timeline?

Sometimes I wish I was the kind of pepper that had a fully self sustaining bunker in an island paradise away from any humans far far away.

Suddenly it all seemed so futile.

https://imgur.com/lfruKP8

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F---ingYum@reddit

Right here with you pal. Its just a waste of time everything humanity has made. So tiring

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FU-allthetime@reddit

“I don’t wanna die. Sometimes wish I’d never been born at all..”

Yeah. I get it.

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Bellona_NJ@reddit

We're all feeling this. It's been one crazy ass disaster or event of the century after another, and the stress is piling up. We saw Reagan and Lennon get shot and the Challenger blow up live, the Tylenol murders....I could go on.

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There is... a lot going on. There are things we're dealing with now that have never been dealt with. I'm feeling the same, like watching the world go down the toilet in slow motion.

Pick yourself up by the bootstraps they say. Then, take this boulder off my back.

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toebeantuesday@reddit

I relate. I used to host beautiful holiday dinners attended by my in-laws and parents. We had a full house but in the last 5 years they’re all gone including my husband.

I’m just down to caring for my mom who has dementia. My finances are difficult and every day is a struggle with some new issue. My friends are not doing so well, either.

I still find things I genuinely enjoy. But yes, I’m done. Except I still have responsibilities and business to settle so I just keep on keeping on.

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Smassshed@reddit

Tuesday.

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yourilluminaryfriend@reddit

That wait is so hard, you don't know whether you are going to die / suffer or it's all going to be ok.

Anyway, had the cancer all removed, then some adjuvant chemo and have been all clear ever since. Full discharge 2 years ago.

Ok, so during that wait when you don't know the prognosis, you start putting your life into perspective. Good family relationships, close friends, have you experienced most things you want to, visited most places you want to etc. And in my case, i felt fortunate that apart from amount of time, i didn't have many regrets, didnt feel as though I'd missed out on much.

And then the prognosis was good and i got clear of it.

All sounds so positive right? Yep, don't get me wrong, it's all good!

But... obviously I am now older and the treatment did take its toll on me.

That reckoning i did to settle the accounts of my life that was so important back then has cast a long shadow now. I'd done most of the things I'd wanted to, so to continue them now or start them back up again is harder, the results less due to age and energy and in the end a rubbish version of the one from my memory.

I don't like the term bucket list, but during that period I made a list of all the things i wanted to achieve and found that I'd made a good attempt at clearing that list, and now I find my bucket list is empty and i don't have the urge to refill it with newer experiences that won't be as good due to energy, age, cynicism etc.

But i wouldn't change it, it's just hard to shake the feeling that it's all behind me now

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thatsmypurseidku@reddit

Glad you're still with us. 🙂
But I get it too. I have a weird mix of anxiety that time is running out, but no motivation or desire to do much.

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Kitten_K_@reddit

Yes that's the feeling!

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Edmee@reddit

OMG that's exactly the feeling! You described it so well.

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hikeonpast@reddit

Fuck cancer.

There was a meme I saw years ago that was a pic of a snack machine with a sign taped to it that said

"My light has gone out inside but I still work."

I'd never felt more seen.

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adozengeckos@reddit

I have lost my “spark.” Not suicidal but apathetic to my own life.

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jtr99@reddit

If we're going to trade evocative lyrics about this stuff, I give you "The River":

But I remember us riding in my brother's car
Her body tan and wet, down at the reservoir
At night on them banks I'd lie awake
And pull her close just to feel each breath she'd take
Now those memories come back to haunt me
They haunt me like a curse
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true
Or is it something worse
That sends me down to the river
Though I know the river is dry

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-Ernie@reddit

Now all them things that seemed so important
Well mister they vanished right into the air
Now I just act like I don't remember
Mary acts like she don't care…

Bruce wrote this when he was basically a kid, and I just saw him in November and he played 3 solid hours without a break.

I guess he was singing about other people.

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jtr99@reddit

It's crazy how young he was when he wrote that. He must have been a wildly empathic person from a young age.

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JenninMiami@reddit

Yes!!! I started crying in my car when the song came on this weekend, because that’s exactly what’s happened.

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snow80130@reddit

Try “pick pocket “ by vanillaroma. He’s betting that dying alone is what is going to happen vs good karma to help him. But he will die alone winning that bet. Has become my new theme song.

“Get busy living or get busy dying”

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Hippy_Lynne@reddit

Well if we're re pulling out song lyrics I'm going to go nuclear.

"And then one day you find, 10 years have got behind you" ---Pink Floyd "Time"

Ten years after I first heard those lyrics they really hit. Now it's been more like 30, and every time . . . 😭

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MaximumGrip@reddit

Running on empty, Jackson Browne, is the one for me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKnnh8VDULs

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Plucked_Dove@reddit

Great song, but “These Days” hits even harder.

These days I seem to think a lot About the things that I forgot to do for you And all the times I had the chance to”

And

Don't confront me with my failures I had not forgotten them

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Vic-123-ma@reddit

Nice

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MaximumGrip@reddit

Gets me every time

My godthis is me to a tee...I get to apoint sometimes where I think" is the only reason im still here is because I'm to afraid of death to kill myself?". I can't stand it. I have no internal clock because nothing i do matters or has to be on time. When I watch the news I keep seeing such horrible things , the likes id hoped and prayed id never see. And makes me so sad. I think" should have been more?,Could I have made more of a difference?...."

Im an ineffectual , unimpressive, below average human being in my 60s with absolutly nothing to show for the past half century of existence . Why was i even born? My decision making skills suck . My leadership skills and self confidence are nonexistent. Looking back to my school days it was clear then id never amount to anything hell most of my teachers and family told me as much on a daily basis.

I sometimes bemoan never having children but at this point im glad I didn't. What kind 9f father would I have been and what would they think of me now...

I fostered rescue dogs for over a decade . It gave me purpose it gave me a reason to go on . I felt likei was giving back. It got to the point where I had garnered a good reputation for being the the go to guy to foster problem dogs. Id always had an affdinity for animals and thought this was it. It's what I was born to do. I felt confident that and good at it. I cant tell how that me feel....the only word I can think of is...human. then it went bad and it went bad hard. One of my fosterswent on aa completlyout of the blue rampage killing three other dogs.. two of them fosters. One of them mine. In o e fatal swoopeverything id come to lo e about this part of my life was over. I made the choice not to put down the foster that had done the killing . After all it was not her fault she'd had a horrible life that had led hero the rescue in the first place and my I er confidence made me feel likei could handle her even though I had attempted time 7 other fosters plus my 3 dogs which were such good and helpful dogs with all the fosterscoming in and out constantly they were likemy helpers and my family. ...I never dreamed another dog would ever hurt su h sweet souls..but when it happened ,the dog that had done it...my heart just went outto...I still ha e her...the rescue would not take herbaceous of course they supported euthanasia. She's never done such a thing since but that was o er 4 years ago and my name is black listed with alll reacues....I still had 3 dogs , her, and my surviving two. Then my mom passed away and in a family of o er a dozen...not one of them stood up and said theyed take even one of her 3 beloved dogs. I was cared to to take them in because of my killer dog but had no choice . I took all three for a total of 6...in my tiny crowded studio guest house.. and for about 8 months everything was fine...then one of mine got in a tussle with one of hers...I was standing 10 ft away...and could t mo e fast enough to stop it... it was my moms oldest 17 year oldxhi that took the damage... damage which led to o er 7 days and 5000 dollars trying to save a little old dog that clearly didn't want to be saved.. untill I finally let her go. .. my family was furious... I had killed her because id refused to putdown my dog years ago...the kicker was...it was her the chi had gotten in a fight with. It was an older cranky one of mine...one that had used to be most helpful.. clearly he snapped.. she had jumped off the bed not seeing he was below her and he reacted badly and quickly. There's no much more thats happened even sin e then .....more dogs stuff my landlord and my home... my car ...loosing two friends...actually 3 twi died o e I simply lost to alzhimers . She doesn't even remember me...there's a lot worse fates than dying Ive discovered. And in su h an uncaring evil world I feel like the last person on earth who remembers caring about each other . ...and im not that damn old...I like it into invasion. Of the body snatches movie....slowlywarching all those around turn into these souless uncaring automatons. And there's nothing I can do about it. I e tried. My vou e carries no wieght...I am anothing ,a looser and the o e family member absolutly everyone thinks the very least of. I do t know how or why ithappened but there it is...no friends.. no family... a handful of dogs that im beginning to think would be better off without me and nothing at all of worth both literally and figuritivly to show for my life. Failure after failure ... after failure.. 60 years of a wasted life .of oxygen best breathed by someone else....a nothing at release and on occasion a burden. At the most...why am y still here. And why can't I just bother right thing and end it...

Belie e me it would literally take weeks for anyone to realize I was gone.. sadly for my dogs...but maybe it's best for them too....

..

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montanawildcat@reddit

Sitting in the waiting room

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church-rosser@reddit

Time is water down a drain.

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SparkleLifeLola@reddit

OMG, the waiting place.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting. (Dr Suess)

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Fun_Ad3902@reddit

It might be anhedonia. It’s worth talking to a therapist if it’s impeding your life. 💖

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Babylonbrokenred@reddit

In that case... fight fir a better world for others.

You wouldn't feel like this if we had a frrlee world.where uou could do what you want instead of working at bullshitnin order to survive.

Fight for that instead of wasting your life.

I can't even fathom feeling your way. I'm mid 49s and have barely scratched reality despite having travelled, lived overseas, had kids, seen wars, performed on stage, been published scientifically.... the list goes in and on.

You haven't begun to even vaguely scratch life and youre sick of it?

All I'm hearing is the effects of capitalism.

Fight the system so others don't have to feel like you cos frankly that's fucking bleak af.

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bluemoldy@reddit

The law of polarity teaches that you cannot have good without bad. Light cannot exist without shadow. The bad tends to leave a lasting impression, while the good often passes by without enough reflection. When things are going well, we rarely pause. We don’t fully experience the moment. We move through it quickly.

When things go wrong, we linger. We obsess. We replay every detail. That’s why it is so important to become aware of what is going right. When life is calm, we need to be mindful and celebrate the good as it unfolds. Too often, we are tangled up in what’s difficult and miss what is quietly working in our favor.

Practicing gratitude helps shift that focus. It brings attention to the present and softens the grip of negativity. There are many books and essays online that provide lists of things to be grateful for. These lists can seem obvious at first, but they work. For example, I am grateful that I can sit in this chair and respond to a Reddit comment instead of being in the middle of passing a kidney stone. I am thankful that I do not have a urinary tract infection today. I can walk. I can hear. I can see. These are everyday things that often go unnoticed, but they matter. Naming them daily can help retrain the subconscious mind.

To manage nihilistic thoughts, I give them a name and an identity. Then I talk back. You can name yours “Karen” if you like, and say, “Shut up, Karen.” That simple act can help create distance.

I have also given the voice in my head that speaks with encouragement and strength a name. I call it Darry, after the character played by Patrick Swayze in The Outsiders. This makes it easier to recognize which voice is trying to help me and which one is trying to keep me stuck. It helps me keep moving forward with greater clarity.

Hang in there.

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FoatyMcFoatBase@reddit

Ready

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ButterscotchEven1234@reddit

Gen X fatigue is real 🐼

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violet_sin@reddit

Go to church... Pour your time in someone else's bucket for a little while, help someone old and broke, do something you're capable of without asking for $$. It won't change your life overnight, but it will definitely help.

IDK, feel like I tried all the shit I wanted to do, and kinda ended up boring and unfulfilled. Doing the same exact shit, with a little reason, made a difference.

Prob a ton of people saying that's the dumbest thing ever... I guess for some people. But I enjoy it. Common ground, not superiority. Community and people that filled a lot of the same brackets a family member might, by age, demeanor and such.

Find a balance between soaking up the Word, living life and being helpful that doesn't leave you any worse off than you were, but injects a little sunshine in someone else's life.

Make peace with your maker. We all have a last day to say thank you for, and almost never know when it's coming.

Just my 2¢

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Office_Zombie@reddit

52 here.
I'm in the same boat.
If I can quote Murphy. "I'm in love for the last time in my life."
It's new, it's exciting, it's actually real for the first time ever, and it's going to utterly crush me when it all falls apart.
All that's left after that is fully committing myself to hedonism.
Drinking, pointlessly degrading and risky sex, self-destruction.
And suicide will always be there in the morning so I can skip out on the bill.

BlastingStink@reddit

Again, not suicidal.

Or

So F it. Ill eat the bacon and the bad foods. Ill eat the sugary stuff. There is no reason not to. I mean, I have to live on PB&J, Hot Dogs and bologna anyway. Just tired. Tired of everything at this point. If my heart explodes, so be it

Pick one. You can't have both.

I'm younger, but I've been there. I ended up severely addicted to drugs and had so many close calls with death.

I get it. If this helps, the one thing you do have control over is your own body. Try eating right, exercising (just a little in order to get a small routine going + good brain chemicals). Changing & managing your own appearance doesn't take much investment and is something YOU are fully in control of. Set a realistic goal that YOU want for YOURSELF. A purely selfish goal that you can focus on step by step.

"You know what? Fuck that world, I deserve to be hot!"

Just my two cents. Hang in there.

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Qweniden@reddit

This is called depression. It is curable.

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Cinnamon_bear01@reddit

Me too. Man. I feel like I was ok at 49, then 50 hit me hard. I hope and pray my fellow Gen X get through this. Because, we are worth it. My mom always told me to be ready to be invisible. I feel it

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livvyloufreebush@reddit

Could not relate more to this. I hope you have a more than usual really good day.

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TraditionalApricot60@reddit

I have a completely different theory that would make you happy again:

dopamine detox.

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XanaxWarriorPrincess@reddit

Working with people will do that to you. People are horrible.

I relate to much of this. In my case it's depression, so maybe it's that for you, with some nihilism or apathy thrown in.

Everything good was in the past for me. There's nothing to look forward to now, no hope things will get better. Family and friends gone. One person cares about me and they're thousands of miles away. I do have my pets and they give me some anchoring here, but I so miss others that are gone now. Video games spark my interest and I look forward to evenings when I can enjoy that. But my other former interests and hobbies have either been quashed by apartment living, or I just see no point in them anymore. There's nobody anymore to be proud of me if I actually achieve anything. Life just feels like waiting for whatever terminal disease to show up, which doctors are all to eager now to recommend screenings for in their cha-ching disease treasure hunt. Give me cheesecake, though, over bacon, lactose intolerance or not.

Well, my tolerance got so bad that I'd damn near half to smoke an entire joint to the head, and even when I did, my "high" would last about 28 minutes if I was lucky.

I remember the good ole days of smoking weed. I'd smoke, and be feeling really good for nearly 2 hours. Sometimes even longer. But smoking so much and barely being high for a half hour? Bullshit.

I got so frustrated with this situation that I did my longest T-Break (well, longest without actually quitting). In late January, I took an 80 day sabbatical from weed, that ended on 4/20.

However, when I did start smoking again this last 4/20, I made special rules that I'd have to follow, to prevent my tolerance from getting corrupted again.

So, I started off by only allowing myself to smoke 1 time per day, and only 4 days out of 7.

I do a workout every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. So those are the days when I won't smoke anything. Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday I get to smoke, but only once.

This was for the rest of April and all of May.

Starting in June, I allowed myself to smoke two times on my designated smoke days.

I'm doing this for all of June and July.

Starting in August, I will allow myself to smoke up to 3 times in a single day... BUT.... I will only allow myself to do two blaze ups, if I happen to be scheduled to work 6, 7 or 8 hours that day. If I'm scheduled for 5 hours or less, or if I'm off for the day, then I can do 3 blaze ups.

I'm looking forward to August.

Anyways, I'm going to keep a close watch of my tolerance. I NEVER want to go back to the days of smoking an entire joint to the head or only getting buzzed for 30 minutes. F that. I will protect my tolerance at all costs.

Hmm going through it myself and feeling the same.

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WilliamLermer@reddit

You should get some medical advice from a professional imho and maybe ask for a solution. It doesn't matter what the underlying cause is, since the world won't care if you reach a point where consequences heavily impact your life.

Society expects us to function. Some people have enough compassion to understand individual struggles, but that won't help you overcoming the self-imposed roadblocks.

As someone who started out with a promising career path and generally solid outlook for the second half of my life, it was untreated mental health issues, including self sabotage, to destroy everything I had built up to that point in the span of a few years. I will never have a normal life and never reach the goals I wanted to reach, as I'm now in a dead end path, which comes with even more issues that make everything extra hard.

You may think you are smarter than this and you probably are, but the thing is, you won't notice the consequences until it's too late. At which point it requires even more effort and resources to fix things

We have defense mechanisms that should guard us from disliking our lives.

It feels that lack of sleep, physical tiredness, and little time spent in sunlight took a toll on your mental health. It is called a depression because it presses us down to lay in bed to overcome tiredness.

I don't have any advice on how to quit 40-hour work week, it depends on what you do. I quit office and do freelance. It feels nice, a little lonely. I still work circa 40 hours but I am free to rest and go out when I want it.

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Maxeet11@reddit

Been there it sucks. No feeling just there, every day feels same.

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Nalufordays@reddit

The song numb little bug always comes to mind with these feelings.

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Anxious_Okra_2210@reddit

You call it being a millennial lol

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treborniam@reddit

gif

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SplinterPie@reddit

For years I thought I had no future worth living and that happiness and love was for other people.

This song helped me alot: (Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths) https://youtu.be/T_V76Dm42bY?si=ibwLVRpQJbA9BZ3G

But everything got fundamentally better and I do not have those feelings anymore (except on.a few occasions). It is possible and I wish you the same.

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harry43210@reddit

Numb little bug

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SuperTaster3@reddit

You have depression.

I say this because I have depression and I know what it feels like. That empty hole at the center of everything that drains your thoughts of purpose. What's the point? You could do something, but why? It's a gnawing demand for justification for every single little thing you do.

If you have money, get medical help. Anti-depressants aren't the greatest, but they do make you functional. Therapy is good.

I don't have money, so all I can do is offer you a hug in these trying times. The assholes want you to fight for your existence. Sometimes it's hard to simply have fun, to enjoy your life because of so much shit looming on the horizon. But that's how you win. To look at anger and rage and go "no. I'm going to be happy." To leave the angry people confused and bewildered, because you refuse to play their game.

You're going to be okay. Whether that's a slow path, or a spiteful one, or hunkering down with friends, make your life livable.

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Chipbeef@reddit

You call that just good ol' regular adulting...

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psycholabs@reddit

Heads up that nobody will tell you - high blood pressure will deaden the male orgasm so you can't feel it. It's more quality of life issue. It'll also damage your kidneys, eventually you'll have to have dialysis. Don't ask how I know this LOL (I don't know about female)

Other than that, yeah same. Just sort of existing.

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chemicallunchbox@reddit

I think we are here to serve others. We find satisfaction, validation, and purpose when helping our brothers and sisters.

What are we here for, if not to lift each other up?

I believe a lot of the time when we feel like life is no longer fulfilling, and the world around us has lost its spark and is no longer mysterious... Is when we have gotten wrapped up in selfish ways .

Volunteering is the way to reset your "give- a-shit" meter. There are so many things that can be done and lives that can be touched. Find a cause, and give them your time and attention. I believe you might be met with a renewed lust for life. At least, i hope you are.

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Niikkiitaa@reddit

I absolutely relate to this! I have money and can pretty much do anything I want. I also have a lot of talents and interests, so could do many hobbies. But I don’t feel like it at all. I’m also not suicidal or depressed in a pathological or crisis sense. I’m just deflated. I healed from a traumatic divorce over the last 5 years and really became more confident, peaceful inside and wise. I completely stopped being a people pleaser. But with that, I lost my drive to do anything. I used to always be busy doing things and accomplishing things to either get validation from it or to serve someone else. But now that I do everything for myself and don’t care about what other people think, I just don’t have the energy to do anything. I’m wondering if it’s because I’m recharging from 40+ years of exhausting myself for everyone around me or if I need to learn to enjoy life from a new perspective that I have yet to figure out.. but in the meantime, I’m just waiting to die like you guys said.

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Downtown-Flight7423@reddit

I felt like this years ago so I applied for a job in another country, changed everything, felt better.

Make a big change, try this life thing again.

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Flickeringcandles@reddit

Burnt out.

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warm_orange147@reddit

Jesus ❤️

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MyMelancholyBaby@reddit

Welcome to your midlife crisis. It's not fun but it's worth going through. You'll reassess things. You'll change things. You'll feel better.

If your hobbies don't give you joy then stop. Get the cataract surgery if you can. The hardest part are all the meds you have to take after the surgery. Revisit things you gave up on.

It's a stage of human development. Eric Erickson did some good stuff about what humans do at each stage. It's generally oversimplified online.

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Authoritaye@reddit

Ennui

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The best thing my parents did was let me enjoy my childhood when I wanted to get a job like my other friends. My dad said, “Once you start working, paying taxes & having responsibilities, it’ll never stop until you die. So enjoy being a kid.”

My dad’s been dead for almost 13 years & I wound up having an amazing childhood. How I miss them both so very much.

I wish you well OP & every other person on here just trying to make it through the day. Now, I’m gonna take a Vicodin & read a book. Love & peace to you all! 💛✌🏻

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due_opinion_2573@reddit

Yeah, this is pretty amazing an eerily similar we all feel like this. Sometimes, I lie in bed and just say, " Take me." Things are not bad just waiting for ai to replace my job. Waiting the punch in the face. Stroke, dementia, or worse.

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Critical-Crab-7761@reddit

I feel the same way

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bStewbstix@reddit

You could do the r/gatewaytapes and leave your body for a while.

it’s called “sick & tired” and that’s when you realize: when you dance, you’re not going anywhere, you enjoy the music 💃🕺🎶

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-AllOuttaBubbleGum-@reddit

Think about this. Starting from say, 200 years ago, the greatest kings and nobles couldn't walk around and say, hmmm maybe I'll have a burrito for lunch, or orange chicken. Nope. Not even close. Us peasants today have it better in so many ways than king Solomon, Charlemagne, Julius Caesar, and all the Egyptian Pharohs ever. Let that sink in, plant your feet, and go from there.

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androopa@reddit

We were all given a vision when we were young of how life would turn out to be… and it never happened quite like it was “suppose” to. Leaves us tired and just kinda feeling empty and pointless. Im struggling with that lately myself and its not a dooms-all attitude its just what it is for some odd reason. That good ol American Dream of the 70s and 80s was pretty short lived

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SheriffBartholomew@reddit

One generation. That's how long the American dream was viable, and it was due to government intervention through free school for WWII vets, FHA and VA loans, and an economy that pulled through a depression. It also helped a lot that there were more jobs than people. Then the people who benefitted from those conditions took the reins and ran everything into the ground with their entitlement and greed.

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Commercial-Co@reddit

But they will die. We can recover. We can reverse it. America reversed it thru years of blood and effort. We are literally repeating our past. The rights of labor has been won with blood - the private police (pinkertons) used to literally slaughter workers who tried to unionize.

Many people can't find happiness in external things. People, possessions, places, food, drink, drugs, video games... the happiness is temporary, especially in today's day and age of social media, media overstimulation, and everyone being glued to their phones, waiting for instant gratification from pings, dings, likes, and matches. This is normal, because happiness can't be truly found in external things, happiness is something to discover internally within you.

My advice, if you're feeling lost, look inward. Drop the phone, pick up books. Read about spirituality, balance, self improvement. Go outside and wander around nature, take your shoes off, enjoy life without a screen and flashing colors. Meditate. Exercise. Work on finding what makes you your happiest and best version of yourself, even if it takes completely changing your daily routines and habits.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/25155-anhedonia

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hansonhols@reddit

With this condition, would you find it hard to enjoy seeing your favorite band or catching up with old pals, as a couple of examples? I'm curious as i've been through depression but not experienced a lack of joy in things i normally love.

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pidgeon92@reddit

Yeah, this condition is not how I feel. I still get great joy from certain experiences. It’s the day to day drudgery that grates on me. Like meal prep. I feel like I’m constantly in the process of dealing with making lunch, making dinner, cleaning up, emptying the dishwasher, over and over and over and over.

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WilliamLermer@reddit

I think that's normal, simply because day to day tasks are just really trivial and boring and it automatically leads to monotony. I don't think many people find joy or some kind of fulfillment doing these things.

It's why so many people watch TV, listen to music or podcasts, having phone calls with other people while doing chores or have someone in the room with them to either help out in order to speed things up or just provide some company.

I think the important part is also to remind yourself that you are enduring it so future you can have it easier. Look at it as a little investment into being more efficient overall.

It's also worth mentioning that a lot of people can't handle it either and their solution is paying someone to do it in order to escape these dreaded tasks. Or capitulate entirely and live in chaos. Which is never a good strategy long-term imho.

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IHadTacosYesterday@reddit

I feel like I’m constantly in the process of dealing with making lunch, making dinner, cleaning up, emptying the dishwasher, over and over and over and over.

A million times this

After taking care of my grandmother for 6 yrs and my mom for 10 yrs...of which both had dementia...if im diagnosed with dementia im either going to Switzerland for their end of life program and choose my own time out or i will take a walk in the grand canyon with my eyes closed.

I've said this for a few years now and even on different subs, where I've then been reported 🙄. We're supposed to talk about it, yet are reported when we try to see if we're alone with these feelings.

I'm tired of just existing and not living. I can't afford to live and fuck face is making it even worse. I don't have the energy to get a 3rd job.

I hate it here too.

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beefnoodle5280@reddit

I feel this deeply.

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genxinthe412@reddit

I hear you. I feel like I’ve done enough, so I don’t have any goals or anything to look forward to. My parents (who I’m lucky to still have) are declining, and I’m annoyed with getting older myself and having health issues. I don’t like US society & I’m pessimistic about the future. I’ve been on/off suicidal for over 40 years but will never do it, so I’m resigned to just riding it out. On my best days I’m feeling gratitude for what I do have & trying to find the positives. But if I dropped dead I’d be fine with going back to the void & not continuing to have to make an effort to overcome my anxiety & depression. Meh.

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Bored_guy_in_dc@reddit

My parents (who I’m lucky to still have) are declining, and I’m annoyed with getting older myself and having health issues.

This is me as well. Its a tough time in life. Knowing that within the next decade I'll most likely be an orphan is kinda terrifying. I've been close with my parents all my life. Heck, they live down the street from us. Honestly not sure how I will get through losing them. Shit, I nearly had a complete mental breakdown when my 16 year old dog died in my arms a couple years ago.

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floofyfloof2@reddit

I relate to all of this so much. My mom just got out of the ICU and it was so unexpected that we thought we were going to lose her right then. It's so terrible to think of the fact that things won't ever be the same. My dad has been in poor health for years and it's just getting worse. I also have three cats that are getting older too...one is about 15. I'm divorced and my son is in college and not worried about me. It's like he's already gone. I don't know what I will do when I lose my parents and pets. There won't be any reason for me to keep going to be honest.

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HostileFriendly@reddit

I was like your son, I left home and needed my own space for a while and naturally became a little disconnected with my parents. Now I don't know if I could live without them, and always look forward to spending time with them, because I know that they won't be around forever and because there's no one else I'd rather be spending my time with (I just didn't realize it at the time).

I'm sure your son will be back, and I also feel like maybe you're going through an important phase of being a parent where you haven't really stopped to consider your own rhythm for a long time because you've been too preoccupied with raising a kid.

My parents went through a similar thing when I left home, they seemed a little aimless for a while, didn't know what to do with themselves. My father ended up traveling to an obscure country for a few months, and my mother quit her toxic job that she had for around 15 years, started focusing on making herself happy instead of trying to make others happy. I'm sure you will figure it out in time, in your own way.

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Bored_guy_in_dc@reddit

There won't be any reason for me to keep going to be honest.

Your son may be off doing his thing in college right now. Those are crazy times. Its usually the first taste of complete self reliance that a kid goes through, and they are learning how to navigate society as an adult on their own. Not wanting your parents around much is natural.

That will change. Once college is over, and life becomes, well, boring and normal, he will be much more present in your life.

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GrouchyLandscape7041@reddit

I am feeling the exact same.

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WaterwingsDavid@reddit

Im so sorry for the loss of your dog. I went through that with my 18 year old cat 3 years ago. My heart didn't break; it shattered. Pets give us unconditional love.

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schwing710@reddit

I truly think us Americans would have much better mental health if we didn't have to worry about the fate of everything we hold dear on a near-daily basis. So thankful for all the brave patriots out there who insisted on electing a morally bankrupt reality TV star to lead our country.

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MarsupialMisanthrope@reddit

I’ve been on/off suicidal for over 40 years but will never do it, so I’m resigned to just riding it out.

That resonates. I’ve been on and off depressed since I was a teen. Stare into the void long enough and you stop fearing it, it starts to look pretty peaceful over there. My existential angst module is burned out.

"We are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you any different.” - Kurt Vonnegut

Anyway I can relate to this post. Definitely feel this way at times. Enjoy life while it's here, fart around

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MoreCerealPlease@reddit

Hope is dying. People are realizing the stuff we were taught to be hopeful for isn’t realistically attainable or even if it is it won’t actually bring us any more happiness or satisfaction.

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Melodic_Seishun@reddit

Decided not to get married and have kids?

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polincorruption@reddit

Jesus, find some grass and lie in it. Don’t just touch it, LIE IN IT!

When did GenX become Gen☠️?

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Tortie33@reddit

I have been working so long to succeed and then someone that I thought was a friend set me up and now I’m in a job I hate. I don’t have ambition to look for another. I just want to be done working. I am tired of being disrespected

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WalkonWalrus@reddit

Embrace the philosophy of Absurdism.

"It posits that there is no inherent or objective meaning to life, yet humans persistently search for or attempt to create meaning, leading to an "absurd" situation. This conflict, rather than being a cause for despair, can be embraced as a starting point for creating one's own values and living authentically."

I interpret this as following things you enjoy - or standing for things you believe in extremely passionately.

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Eagle-737@reddit

Recently retired. Now trying to figure out what to do with my life.

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CouldBeLessDepressed@reddit

Millennial here, I feel you on this. I can't fathom the point of anything when the world around us is rapidly going straight into a repeat of the late 1930's. Why work on my house that's rapidly falling apart because it's the only shitbox I could afford when I'm just as liable to have ICE smash through my door some time in the next couple years because I said some mean things about the orange wannabe-dictator? They just 20x their budget so the old "well you're white and probably too insignificant to spend any attention on" line of thought is kinda moot now. They have the resources now to actively seek out people to place in an outgroup to keep this fascist nightmare machine rolling right into hell. Honestly the only thing that seems to matter to me anymore is arming myself so that I can make a stand when it comes to it. I am not going quietly when they finally try to take me from my house. I just hope that I cause a big enough mess that they over-react and push too hard elsewhere so that this boiling pot we're all in together finally gets hot enough quick enough that people start to take action en masse. We're so, so far past correcting things through the mechanisms that have been in place that have somehow managed to hold things together this long. Only question now is how many people are going to willingly let the state murder them before enough is enough?

I went to Iraq for this country and for what? I saw the video of the breaching charge they used on a US citizen's house over a traffic incident. And I have a local, direct source of information about a gathering outside of an ICE facility within the last 2 weeks where they (ICE) exited the facility, crossed the street to where the crowd was, grabbed a woman, and beat her into a coma. I don't know if she ever woke up or if she died, she was still in a coma as of last Friday. I know it didn't make any news though, conveniently. BTW, that was obviously unprovoked. That crowd wasn't doing shit. They (ICE) came out as the aggressors and by the time it was over this lady had brain damage and they straight up kidnapped another dude and dragged him into the building. No idea what happened to him after that, there's been no word. The crowd didn't even fight back. Matter of fact no one lifted a finger for that lady until they left her nearly dead on the sidewalk.

You can't fix that with a ballot. And worst of all, my generation has been conditioned from the very beginning to never, ever fight back. Zero tolerance? anyone? anyone? There may be bullies, but don't you dare fight back, no no no. And that shit is engrained in my generation and boy does it show. But hey, at least the people in charge don't believe in safeguards that might slow down the progress in creating an AGI. These morons are pretty likely to wipe out our whole species because they're too stupid and too cartoonishly evil to manage the newly emerging Ai tech that has essentially catapulted us into an entirely new arms race against every other nation on the planet. So, my one solace is that they may get me in the end because I dared to be critical of this BS, but they'll hopefully suffer a fate worse than my own at the hands of a new form of life that they themselves had a hand in making. I sincerely hope it's some Horizon Zero Dawn kind of nightmare and that the machines that inevitably take them are deafening. May they rest in piss.

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Worldly-Wedding-7305@reddit

This is a synopsis of my life except 1 family members left and he's the reason I felt the way I do.

What are you or were you passionate about?

We live in a world system where money is freedom. The more you have the more free you are to do what you really want, eat what you want, live how you want etc.

So when we don't have enough money to do that things can feel pretty stale. Just a continuing grind with little opportunity of escape.

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SeaworthinessEqual36@reddit

i feel this exact same way. don’t know how to “fix it”

i tried finding meaning by trying to give back to my community/the world but it becomes more and more overwhelming by the day, it feels like… :(

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lilmookie@reddit

“Burnout”?

GenXer here who has discovered serving his community and more. Volunteering has been very fulfilling and has given me the opportunity to meet many very nice people.

She was desperate, alone and broke.

The interview went ok but she said she was desperate but maintained a smile. Tessa a single Mom herself said she is the one. We hired her.

She confessed to me I saved her life. She worked afternoons to make more money. I worked late..

We would chat. I watched her fall in love, be heartbroken and have this optimism that was infectious.

She bought a home from a friend he lost his wife they never had kids. He gave her a deal and she invited him over for the holidays. He was overjoyed to have a family. Never met a man with such a turnaround spirit. He fixed her car... and so ecstatic to me to have purpose.

When I ever spoken bad about my wife or made a joke at her expense she called me out. I still hear her voice.

My son was born she bought him his first baseball cap... red .. one he wore for ten years!

I left the company. Two years later walked into the door to say hello to everyone.

She attempted to hug me .. just arms coming at me ..smile ear to ear... and I recoiled.

I could see her pain of my rejection. It haunts me.

She ended herself a year later.

The message became clear... I should help others... and never leave with harsh tone or feeling.

I try and help people every day sometimes just some words of encouragement others a kick in the ass.

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DigiSmackd@reddit

I suspect it's a fairly common feeling for many people.

Probably more so if you don't have a super close family (kids, etc) or a career/hobby you love.

For me - I often just feel that it's "I'm just not passionate about anything". I still have things, people, and times I enjoy. But nothing I'm truly passionate about.

And without passion, life is a whole lot less shiny.

Passion can come in many forms - some as big as passionate bout being a good parent, partner, or career goal. Or perhaps it's a hobby that you are really into or sport you play.

I'm often baffled and envious of people I know who seem passionate about so many things. Like, this person is more passionate about types of beer or a music album, or movies, or whatever - things that may otherwise not seem significant to one's life - than I am about any single thing in my life these days.

Being passionate gives you fuel to learn and grow. Perhaps you spend time researching, learning, or practicing. Perhaps you seek out more opportunities, more experiences, more chances. You look forward to the next time and think fondly of the last.

Languishing is another term I've applied to it for myself.

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aeons_elevator@reddit

Normal. If you don’t have family or hobbies or anything that stimulates you, life gets stale.

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JoshyTheLlamazing@reddit

I don't know, dude. I'mma just sit around and TRY to eat healthy. Play Nintendo til I can get a Switch2. Learn stuff, nag my kids like a grumpy old fucker and try to get more into Americas last and only pass time, Baseball. Since that's all we'll have left in the coming months and years.

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SantosHauper@reddit

You say that the future holds nothing, but that is BS, no offense. You don't know what the future holds, no one does. You can only guess that if you keep doing the things you do, you will likely get similar results. It's a fair guess, but only a guess.

There is much in this world to find connection with, but you have to look. It requires change, a re-evaluation of what you think is important, or worthy, or fulfilling. The truth is, the measures of life we assign to it to determine whether ours is a good one are just made up. If your life isn't bringing you anything good, then changing it wouldn't be losing anything.

You should start taking gummies, if you don’t already.

Imagine not being able to find something fun to do, in the year 2025.

I actually can't, because there is infinite fun shit to do on this planet. Stop being such a crybaby and grow a pair

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bacongolf432@reddit

I lucked out, I’m 35. I went to school as I was told to do, should’ve went to dental school, didn’t. Used my bachelors to get a job in the oilfield and I live in a small ass town you’ve never heard of and I live a decent life with money to afford some things, but I’ll never truly retire. But I know I’m better off than far most and I’m not a gen x, just wanted to give a comparison to the following gens and how it’s all fucked.

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Hey_Giant_Loser@reddit

there is a better life than this. you need to go find it. find more meaning.

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Few_Ad_5119@reddit

We call it clinical depression.

Go to a therapist.

Godspeed

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aaronrkelly@reddit

I get like that often.

Like your just "going thru the motions".

Like your just existing...

But then I will see something beautiful or awe worthy and it resets my view.

I wish you find whatever you need to reset your view.

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JusLurkinAgain@reddit

I call that passively suicidal and experience it myself.

You want to end the monotony, the pointlesness.

J.R.R. Tolkien, A Long-expected Party, The Fellowship of the Ring

I feel you. Recently went through something similar. For me, motorcycle rides in the countryside give me hope. I went for a long one today.

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CatDadBirdNerd@reddit

“And I have hobbies. They just pass the time and dont feel fulfilling and haven't for years.”

Find new hobbies that do.

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One_Hour_Poop@reddit

I'm sorry, that must suck, but i have to admit, I cannot relate to that feeling.

Personally I love life. I always have. I'm curious and excited for what's coming next, and I still have shit that i want to do.

Last weekend I pet and brushed a Highland Cow for the very first time at a local farm. You know, Highland Cows, the cows that have really long hair? It was insane.

Two days ago I ordered a siren whistle in the mail and I'm patiently awaiting for it to arrive so i can make some wacky cartoon noises in my house.

Later this month I'm going to take a road trip and drive one state over to one of the few remaining Tastee-Freez outlets in the world and order a chili dog so i can finally, after 40-plus years, suck on a chili dog outside the Tastee-Freez.

There's too much wonder in the world to be bored by it.

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Maaci-Lyn@reddit

I can name it if u want - "Languidez"

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TraumaKahuna@reddit

You’re not alone, I’ve spoken to many. Personally I feel it has to do with multiple variables, but certainly highlighted by our current political climate. Things don’t seem to be going in a positive direction. People have difficulty just making ends meet. No time for recreation, self reflection, or friendly gatherings.

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bellacarolina916@reddit

I had this exact same conversation with myself a few days ago. Every day feels like Groundhog Day Over and over 6:30 wake up make coffee feed the cat Get my daughter to her day program ( she is 33 but has Down’s syndrome ) so still lives at home get to work Come home go to bed Repeat…
I know she needs me but living for other people is hard to keep you going

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ThaetWaesGodCyning@reddit

You may be world weary. Just tired of everything and how it all is. The song that captures it best for me is Bruce Cockburn’s Pacing the Cage.

Sometimes you feel like you’ve lived too long.

The days drip slowly on the page.

And you catch yourself

Pacing the cage.

Pacing the Cage

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jonm61@reddit

It seems like a lot of us are at this point. I'm 52, never married, no kids. I'm the youngest of 5. All I have is my dog. I lost my soul dog last year. Once this one's gone, I have nothing left. I'm in pain all the time, I have multiple chronic illnesses on top of the chronic pain. So, as long I'm here from my dog, after that, I don't care. I feel better than I did last year, but...

I don't see or talk to my sisters, or my nieces and nephews often; never have as an adult. My parents have been gone for (soon to be) 15 years.

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Unlikely-Section-600@reddit

I just burned off about 20 days of PTO in June. I loved not having to do anything for work, for the most part I was just an underwear model for that time, lol

I felt like this a lot. For me it’s bipolar disorder. Some days I’m motivated and happy, others..not so much

Through counseling and active management, I’ve gotten “a lot better”.

Proper sleep, proper diet, managed emotions.

Existentially, I still have issues. Though at least now I’m aware of incoming ups or downs.

I’m not saying you’re bipolar, just that those are the things I feel/felt

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whatsthedeal-@reddit

If I were to die today I would be content and I’m only 48

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Petdogdavid1@reddit

I was there. I sounded like you. I still hear the voice. My heart tried to fail me and I changed my mind. Life still sucks, it's still hard and shitty but it's got beautiful moments still. You have to start thinking smaller, more personal. I can't control a lot of what is going on and that fills me with intense dread... But I can't do anything about that. All I can do is manage my experience and how I choose to tell the story. I am trying to tell a better tale through me. I'm feeling better, I'm more fit and I've gotten in better shape than when I left the hospital. I don't know how to help you change your mind but I hope that you can see it on your own. I think the world is changing and there may be times of shit but I think overall things will be better for everyone. It's just going to take time.

Pretty much exactly how I feel. Sometimes when I drive through a green light I hope someone just blasts through a red light and hits me.

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flaxon_@reddit

What would you call it when....

Tuesday, mostly.

I totally feel where you're at though. I also am no suicidal, but I feel like I'm just living so my parents don't outlive me and I can spare them that pain. After that....I dunno if I care.

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Training_Number_9954@reddit

Life has passed by so quickly, and now nobody is around to share what’s left with.

Groundhog Day

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damn_van@reddit

Take some mushrooms. Spark your curiosity again.

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Odd-Section8044@reddit

https://youtu.be/1fwJ8H5wWCU

“Numb Little bug”

I just wanna give you all a hug. I love you guys. Hang in there 💕

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MaximumJones@reddit

gif

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who_the_hell69@reddit

This! A thousand times this!

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CormoranNeoTropical@reddit

Depressed. This is called “depressed.”

More specifically, the term is “anhedonia” - means you no longer get pleasure (in the broadest possible sense) out of anything.

Especially characteristic is the (false) conviction that it will always be this way.

Depression recognizes truths and lies about what they mean.

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VerySuperGenius@reddit

I've been there. It seemed impossible to get out of but an unexpected change in my life one day completely changed the trajectory of my life and my outlook on reality. I hope you have that moment soon.

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msmilah@reddit

This is the final destination of our consumer culture. Kill community, destroy family bonds, and focus people on being consumers. At this point in our lives we know the next product or manufactured experience is probably going to be as bs as all the other ones. We are the first generation that spent our entire lives being heavily marketed and we are worn out.

The only reason my life is worth living is because of my wife. If she wasn’t around anymore, I think it would be totally OK to say, you know what I’ve seen enough, I’ve done enough. I don’t hate myself. I’m just exhausted.

I’m not encouraging anybody to do anything, but for me personally, I don’t understand why I had to enter this existence on somebody else’s terms, but I can’t leave it on my own.

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Aloxx@reddit

I felt this way and changed my life completely. I went from living in the middle of Kansas city to a 120 acre farm in Oklahoma. Whole new set of hobbies, a whole different life style, new job. It is just extremely refreshing and it reminds me that the world is big and there are always so many new experiences, cultures, and lifestyles that you can always change things. It's a whole new life and I could find something new if this one gets old.

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smmara89@reddit

How many times in your life you thought one way just to be proved that it's another? I felt this way alot, sometimes you do feel overwhelmed or finished. But I'm sure alot of guys will tell you. When you they see they're wives or kids or parents happy, or helping others, or doing something good for yourself. Life isn't about always being full or being on empty.

Do your best, with what you got, whereever you are Roosevelt I believe

I was down on my luck hard about 5 or 6 years ago, people who saw me then probably wouldn't be able to picture me now. Just remember that everything's temporary, even your feelings. That being said even though its a scary thought to dissect, you got one life, live with no regrets. I think imo you do that by being true to yourself and the world, making decisions that you won't ever feel conflicted. Some things I've done that fill me full of pain and regret, and some that fill me up. Idk gl friend

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ActualWheel6703@reddit

I'm young GenX and understand you. I think it's being worn out. We're young but not that young.

Life is hard, and wears you down. I love my family, dogs, flying, and other things, but sometimes I feel that my desire takes effort.

The thing is, we can't let ourselves get too down. We have life to live, and we have meaning.

Get a good rest. Eat well and get some exercise. It'll help.

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65variant@reddit

If you watched "The Good Place" - the last episode sums it all up pretty well. When you're done here, you can leave.

It's not dramatic - you just leave and that's it.

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Competitive-Memory35@reddit

Watch to movie Groundhog Day again. I know, this sounds weird. Bear with me. Most people think of the movie as some dude living the same day over and over again. If you watch it closely, it's more about making each day count. Even if its a small improvment over someting that happened the day before. Each day IS a gift. This is coming from a man who was almost killed 2 years ago. I survived. It makes me appreciate that movie more than you could ever imagine.

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Unusual_Performer_15@reddit

I feel this way quite often, like all of the best moments in life are behind me. I’ve convinced myself that retirement and the joy of not having to go to work everyday will bring enough joy to carry me to the end and just try to forget about the sad reality that I will likely never be able to retire 🤷‍♂️

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couchcaptain@reddit

It's crazy, but I had similar thoughts today. I was driving to work and I started thinking about my childhood and I miss living in the old house, away from everything in the middle of nowhere. I miss sitting down and just stare at the sky or just walk around in the grass. I know there is a lot of other things, how our brains are selective about memories, but i started thinking logically, that I really don't need to be driving here and sitting in this car that I do payments on it and i don't have to do this work I'm doing at all.

Not to minimize your feelings but this sounds like depression to me. I strongly advise you to get some help. Fluoxetine (aka Prozac) has worked wonders for me. It is cheap. It just makes me feel normal again.

You are a miracle. The chances of you existing are astronomically small, yet here you are. You have agency. Go make somebody else’s life better with a kind word or gesture. It feels good. Go out of your way to do one good thing a day and I guarantee you will start to feel better

You are loved.

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Alternative-Run-849@reddit

I call it "sanity"

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But we’ve been doing this for like five decades. I’m fucking tired. Unaliving myself seems like A LOT of work. Whatever. There’s no point. I’m suffering.

And still ain’t I a woman?

And still I’m going down this obstacle-filled wasteland/wilderness (YMMV) whatever-ness of the human condition.

I don’t fucking care. I’m exhausted.

But I fucking TP’d and egged houses. Prank called. Ding-dong-ditched. Drank from a damn hose.

And ain’t that a bitch?

Just curious enough to stay alive.

It’s its own magic

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billions_of_stars@reddit

For me:

I make art. I've been teaching myself woodworking and it's both cool and challenging and frustrating. I got into it because I need to learn how to create structures for things. Such as frames and what not. I also got a 3d printer for much of the same purpose.

For me most of what is left is to use my imagination and trip out on the universe as much as I can. I think we crave novelty and new experiences. Just relying on other people to provide that for us will fall short.

I suggest challenging yourself with something new. If it's hard and frustrating...well at least that's something. Get past that zone and see what lies beyond.

Go to a music store and pick up an instrument. Watch YouTube videos...see what can learn.

Maybe try writing a song...even if you suck. Keep at it.

Water color...sculpture...paper folding.

Write a short story...

Mix it up I say. Give yourself a purpose.

Buy an arduino starter kit and learn to make an LED flash. Write the code using Ai.

j-6@reddit

Math_refresher@reddit

Just go out into the natural world a few times a week.

This is great advice in general but I've found it's only somewhat effective for me.

I live in a place that's unbearably hot and humid for a good portion of the year. Walking/hiking in autumn, "winter", and spring is very pleasant and makes me feel like a million bucks.

However, it's torture to be outside between June and September. Going outside in the bright light, and into the heat and humidity makes me feel physically sick and gives me an intense headache, despite drinking electrolytes, wearing a sunhat and sunglasses, wearing sunscreen, etc. Every May seasonal depression kicks in and doesn't resolve itself until early October. The only way to survive summers here is to stay indoors in the dark, air conditioned space during daylight hours. Even swimming in my beautiful swimming pool in my private backyard is unpleasant until after the sun has set behind the trees and there's zero direct sunlight.

Basically, I need to buy a summer place up north and convince my bosses at work to let me work remotely all summer.

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SadrAstro@reddit

Hot as hell here in Austin, still fun to get outside in the evenings. If you have water nearby, kayaking can be extremely zen even on hot days.

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el_smurfo@reddit

Never heard of reverse SAD, but now that you think of it, my wife probably has it along with traditional SAD. She can't exist in a climate that is not 72 and sunny. Problem with living in paradise.

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Criseyde2112@reddit

I have reverse SAD, too. I can't bear the thought of July, August, September, and even October here in Texas. Right now we have a cloud of Saharan dust that is making the sky turn white. The water temperature of the swimming pools and lakes and even the Gulf is too hot to enjoy.

ideknem0ar@reddit

I really do want to set shit on fire and break things when I hear of retirees who are bored. I couldn't be bored if I tried. I would love to garden at leisure rather than sometimes feeling I have to cram in the Zen between Friday and Monday. 😭

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zwiazekrowerzystow@reddit

i know some retirees who sit at home all day. they're mobile and could go places, however they don't. what are they doing???

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ideknem0ar@reddit

Today I heard of a retiree from an Ivy League who is now a Walmart weekend greeter and works at an interstate rest area because "I was retired for years and did nothing, didn't real any of the books I planned to read."

DUDE OMG 😭

Never make your job your identity and entire social circle, folks!!!

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Yogamat1963@reddit

This was always my go to. I still sit in my garden everyday I can, nothing really helps anymore.

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naazzttyy@reddit

My favorite baseball cap just reads “Gardening: Cheaper Than Therapy.” I wear it frequently. Over the years I have discovered it’s a very simple and effective mantra.

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ideknem0ar@reddit

I love this comment. I enjoy the dirty weeding part of gardening more than the preserving of the food (which I ofc do because it's the whole practical point of the project lol)

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Ugh, I forgot to mention butterflies. Not even the monarchs, but the small white ones that seem to fly in pairs and the similar pale yellow ones. There used to be so many. I feel like the Rockbiter discussing what was lost after the Nothing came through.

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Garuda34@reddit

I saw "a" butterfly a couple of days ago. I see the occasional bee. Many tarantula hawks...that may be why I haven't seen any tarantulas lately.

Oddly, the annual toad fest is on like usual for this time of year, though. I don't know what they're eating, but I hope its these damn flies that haven't seem to be impacted at all by the damage that our stupid greedy-monkey asses have wrought on this planet.

At least the black widow ladies in my garage, and the thieving pigeons, doves, and sparrows that raid my goat feed and chicken run seem to fairing well.

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_TallOldOne_@reddit

Pretty much how my life has ended up. I feel like these days I just wake up and punch the clock, so to speak.

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emax4@reddit

You're not alone. I look back and believe a lot of my efforts and accomplishments were half-assed. It's like, I got so far and did it, and maybe did a good job, but I didn't do an excellent job. Why? Because I did it. What's next? Yeah, I can keep trying and trying, but it's like making art or cooking something or you keep adding and adding and at some point you ask yourself, "is this done?"

So I've stopped because I was tired. I never got to be with a prom queen or talk to the most gorgeous girl in the world (okay, I did the latter but she wasn't as interested, even though both of us showed up to a costume party dressed up as nuns). I never kept striving up the corporate ladder because it eventually it came down to making money if you only had a bachelor's degree or above, and even then at some point a bachelor's was more of an Associates. Yes, I can exercise, but what for. Sure it'll add years to my lifespan, but what am I saving for? My long-term girlfriend survived for me, and with everything I taught her she'll survive after me.

I didn't have the typical high school experience or I got to hang out with friends regularly, or have people call me up asking me to hang out. I started working right after sophomore year, and without a car nor girlfriend I was able to save up for expensive music gear. I bought an amp for $300 instead of going to the prom, and the amp lasted me for longer than one night would have. I later discovered from one of my high school crushes that nobody asked her to the prom and she would have gone with me. Knowing what I know, I probably would have been a dad soon after and my life would have changed, probably not for the better.

I got let go for my job at the beginning of April, and have been struggling for 3 months. Luckily a company just picked me up, but after so many rejections I fully agree with you that I'm tired and I want to give up. What's the point of constantly improving oneself if there's no guarantee it's actually going to pay off or be worth all that effort? That time has been wasted on thinking too much about the past, focusing too much on my bullies, thinking about the failures and missed opportunities because of low self-esteem and loneliness. Maybe the 20% who are successful don't have to worry about that, but we only know what we see on Facebook and Linkedin because they pad their successes. I don't have to worry about that because I deleted both of them.

It may sound silly, but hang in there for now. Maybe try to slowly phase out the bad eating habits that come with age. And then just—as silly as it sounds—trust that moments of joy will return out of habit. It's just that stupid phase in life when your entire metabolism changes because your youth is finally over. And even the present we know has been replaced by the unknown through some incomprehensible nonsense. Maybe revisit the past, there are countless possibilities. In my experience, zombie drugs only make it worse. Millions have been there before you, we—GenX—have it a little harder because we experienced the digital spring and fall of the 80s and 90s. Grit your teeth and keep going. And: if this dark period passes, make sure you're not a total wreck when it's over! (Find untrodden paths behind unopened doors in old trails, become the master chef of your diet, go outside as often as you can (tip: bicycle), reward yourself only when you've done something worthy of reward and not because you think you urgently need a reward.)

If all of this does not sound like the answer you were looking for, then you are still on your way down and don't feel bad enough yet.

Best of luck!

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son_of_yacketycat@reddit

Feeling so much like this. Been out of work for a year, savings are gone, been fighting for a career with any sort of fulfillment for the second half of my life after 28 years of corporate abuse that's burned me out. The only real interest I'm getting is from more corporate contracting hell jobs, having to lie through my teeth to write nice things about a company that's destroying the planet or society, and gives millions to politicians who would love to send my queer ass to a death camp. And, like the others, they'll eventually "restructure" and boot all the contractors with zero notice. Lather, rinse, repeat. But I guess I'm stuck there, because nobody else will give me a chance.

I can't even get a call unless I drop jobs I'm really proud of from my resume so I seem 10 years younger. I'm gonna be 50, and don't have the physical stamina to be homeless right now.

Nothing is fun or hopeful anymore. It's all just existing and paying bills. I've dealt with depression throughout my adult life - but always for maybe 3 months at a time, not 5 continuous years. I'm not about to do anything drastic either, I just want this country to unfuck itself because I'm burnt out from a decade of fighting to unfuck it. Only things keeping me going are my cat and football.

It’s not why I had kids, but I’m glad I did. Because otherwise I don’t know what the hell I’d do.

Though I guess technically if it weren’t for the kids we could afford to retire by now.

Hmmm.

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Hua89@reddit

Did I write this? It pretty much describes me and how I feel. But I don't remember actually writing this.

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dleerox@reddit

I hear you and I absolutely relate to everything you wrote, including the PB&J, hot dogs and bologna. I’m 56 but my body feels about 80. Rough life and I’m ready whenever fate takes me. Wish I had some magical words to brighten your outlook on life. I don’t. Hoping you can still find mini moments of joy. Perhaps a head butt from your cat or a great movie to escape. Good luck💕

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Sonoran_Dog70@reddit

I’ve been tired of it for more years than I can recall at this point.

I’ve endured so much pain in life I’m actually scared of going out by heart attack. I just want to fade out quietly.

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UnsaneInTheMembrane@reddit

My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest a few weeks ago and I got excited that i might die.

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Grendeltech@reddit

If I'm being honest, I've felt that way my entire life. I don't like this game at all, but I'm too stubborn to quit playing manually. Honestly, I live out of spite more than anything else.

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S99B88@reddit

It’s called passive suicidal ideation. You could have anhedonia or a mild depression.

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OhMySeitan@reddit

Hi friend. This sounds like depression which is an absolutebirch. I've felt this way before and changed my habits--mostly mental habits to appreciate the fact that I'm alive and still have opportunities to pursue my goals while knowing my time is limited.

Intelligent-Wear2824@reddit

The political climate is exhausting every aspect of our lives. I'm definitely over feeling like it's the Reagan years on crack, heroin and ketamine mixed w some bath salts. This is definitely the most hateful, shameful n corrupt administration of our Gen x life.

Force yourself to watch good comedy, listen to great music and eat some top tier gummies when you can. And pray we survive the next 3.5 years. 🎄💨✌️💖

gif

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Technical_Chemistry8@reddit

It's absolutely true. The corrupt American government is a soul draining spectacle that insists on being front and center, every single day. But that's just now. I've felt like this since I was 8 years old, to a lesser degree, because the only dream that matters to our civilization is making money and being famous. It's like Dante's inferno but the levels are never ending and there's twerking.

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moving_picture77@reddit

This has so much to do with it. Hate and anger is shoveled to us every day. The last ten years it’s been 100x worse. It takes a toll. Every day is a fresh new hell.

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Magik160@reddit (OP)

I try. But its shoved in our faces so damn much. And it needs to be done so.

my depression can make me feel like this. it is called passive suicidal ideation.

you are not alone in this feeling. posting this here is a major first step. consider speaking to someone irl about these feelings if you are comfortable. you are worth the effort, i promise.

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kayparkersbiggestfan@reddit

I think you're describing fairly routine depression. You may want to talk to a doc or two and maybe try meds. It's not good to live this way.

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Little_birds_mommy@reddit

This is ennui.

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DidNotSeeThi@reddit

You have ridden the merry go round of life and gotten the gold ring. Now what?
Me too. I am 'waiting for whatever is next' not caring what it is. No motivation. Tomorrow will be the same as today. There are so many things out there, ready for me to do them. Meh.

Get up, breath, eat, drink, wait.

/repeat

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Crusoebear@reddit

“I’m tired boss.”

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WatchingTellyNow@reddit

Anhedonia

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buffymiffington@reddit

There comes a point in life where the rest is downhill, and I fear I may have hit that point. This post resonated with me so, so much. Not sure if social security will be there for me to retire. I’m not partnered, don’t have kids. I’m just freaking tired. It’s like every day is a grind - for what?

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eromlige@reddit

Me too. Help other people. They're out there, they need you, help them.

I am right there. Like, if a train hit me or there's a rock from space or whatever, I'll just be right there to greet it.

"I'll catch it!"

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skiphandleman@reddit

Serious answer. I've been there. Was single until I was 40. Felt like life was getting dangerous (drugs, drinking, etc.) so I got married. Had my first and only kid at 46. Having family helped but by 52, I was right where you are. I took a serious look at my career and how it was affecting my ability to be me. And I wasn't even sure who me was. Got a therapist and just started talking through what the next 20-30 years looks like and how not to dread it. I made a career change that allowed me to have peace. Specifically, time for myself. Time to just walk every day. To read. To have a drink with a friend at leas ince a week. To not be overwhelmed by work and family responsibilities. I have at least 2-4 hours every day now to whatever I want. I have no plan, but also no feeling of what's the point. I generally like routine, but the changes I've made have allowed me to have routine but not be a slave to it. I hope that makes some sense. Bottom line is, I didn't abandon my family and I didn't give up on a career. I just made some adjustments so that family and career didn't feel like anchors. At the moment, I feel good about life. I don't really care or obsess about the future, but I look forward to it without expectation or anxiety.

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BigBlueCase@reddit

Burn out and apathy - when caring does functionally nothing, and so you feel caring and giving a shit doesn't matter.

Have faith that tomorrow is another day, continuance is hope, and if you're not the harbinger for the change, i.e. the hero who saves the galaxy, then at least you can be one of the forgotten and nameless soldiers in the battlefield.

I would call it clinical depression. It's very common.

Emotional blunting / numbness - check Hopelessness - check Fatigue - check Loss of interest or motivation - check Apathy - check.

You are definitely not alone, and I hope you're able to access some help and things turn around for you.

It really, really, really sucks, but it can get better.

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we_hella_believe@reddit

My friend Sid the same thing essentially and he passed a couple years ago.

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Bored_guy_in_dc@reddit

I assume no SO or kids? Honestly, I started feeling like this when I was in my early 40s, and then I had kids. Talk about a shift.

I still get that same feeling you do, that there isn't much I haven't done or seen in my life. Sure, there are always more places to go, more people to meet, new foods to try, etc... Still, it just ends up as more of the same.

My kids are the chaos factor that keeps my life interesting / active / unpredictable. Other than that, all I can recommend is to get into some more "escape from reality" hobbies. For example, play a complex immersive video game that will take you a couple hundred hours. For example Cyberpunk 2077. Will make you feel like you are LIVING in a move with Keanu and Idris. Books are another great escape. If you have a favorite story genre, I would highly suggest getting some best sellers, and see what tickles your fancy.

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Snugrilla@reddit

I have to say, having Cyberpunk 2077 release in the middle of the pandemic was PERFECT timing because I was SO depressed and playing that game just gave me the perfect escape for so many hours.

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Bored_guy_in_dc@reddit

You should replay it with the phantom liberty dlc. I waited to play it till last year after they fixed everything. It is now my favorite game of all time, and I’ve been playing video games since pong. Lol

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Snugrilla@reddit

I did, but unfortunately the magic seemed to have passed. I didn't like the DLC at all. I don't understand why. I think I just played it a little too much before the DLC came out and it all started to feel redundant.

Was kind of a bummer because other people seemed to really like the DLC, but I still have my good memories of the first playthrough.

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Bored_guy_in_dc@reddit

I’m waiting for the 2.3 update before I start my second play-through. I tried to replay it like 6 months ago, but was still emotionally attached to the first time. Been over a year now, and I think I forgot enough of the little side quests that it will be fun to go through it all again… besides, it’s NIGHT CITY!

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Magik160@reddit (OP)

Correct. No spouse or kids. Basically my sister and her family. And she is older than me. If she passed first, I would literally have no contacts for anything.

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Bored_guy_in_dc@reddit

Sorry to hear it. Maybe this is a good time to start putting yourself "back out there". New relationships can often breathe life into world view.

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Slouchy87@reddit

I can relate.

Became a Dad at age 45 and again at 47. Life is chaotic, interesting, active, and unpredictable. You nailed it. What's interesting is I felt a whole lot different without kids, perhaps not as full throttle as OP has described, but I can relate to some of it. And that all changed when I had kids.

I'm not saying kids are the answer, but my life is certainly different and I wouldn't want it any other way.

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Bored_guy_in_dc@reddit

I'm not saying kids are the answer, but my life is certainly different and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Yep, that's it in a nutshell! Life before and life after are totally different.

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Big_Knobber@reddit

This is so important. My 2 daughters are in their 20s and they still live with us. I've got a 10 year old goddaughter, the mom is single. I love being around all of them. The kids help me with new video games and tell me the new lingo lol.

thatgenxguy78666@reddit

I am similar. My biggest thing is I would like to have a life partner. I am fine alone,but would like a female buddy to enjoy all of my lifes hard work with. Other than that,I just dont find joy in Christmas,or dressing up on Halloween etc. My last birthday was on a Saturday and everyone jetted out early. So me and one buddy from out of town were suddenly just sitting alone going "ok"..

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DarkkLyver@reddit

There’s a Radiohead lyric: “It’s not living, it’s just killing time”. That’s always stuck with me.

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swugmeballs@reddit

Jesus you people are sad, we have the best quality of life in history. Try to enjoy it

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BlueOrbifolia@reddit

Weary. That’s the word I settled on, for myself, just this afternoon! I’m just bone-tired, exhausted of the present, terrified of the near future and somehow also completely blasé and embracing the F it lifestyle of which you speak.

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One-Calligrapher757@reddit

I live in a car.

I feel you.

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2ndPickle@reddit

The five pillars of happiness are: career satisfaction/financial freedom, social interactions (friends and romantic relationships), a sense of community (family and neighbours), indulgence (food, activities, other recreations), and sense of purpose.

From reading your post and some of your comments, could the most viable source of happiness for you to try to develop be a sense of purpose? You can’t really snap your fingers and start raising a child, but maybe you could find somewhere to volunteer (a homeless shelter, a pet sanctuary, helping underprivileged youth, etc.). Something where you you get the satisfaction of having made a positive contribution to the world and get to feel appreciated.

Honestly? I'd call it pretty normal.

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Harkonnen_Dog@reddit

gif

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blondie0389@reddit

This is exactly how I’ve been feeling. The only reason I’m alive is bc of my kids. I’m too poor to really enjoy it and spend money. Which stresses me out too

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ebar2010@reddit

No way! I’m looking forward to retirement! Maybe another 2 years, 5 at the most.

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Mrjlawrence@reddit

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Ching-Dai@reddit

Totally get this. I’ve been existing for others for over a year now, with no sign of that changing for the better.

In fact, I could fill paragraphs with everything changing for the worst, and yea there’s no realistic way not to see how these changes will negatively affect me and the country in general.

Merijeek2@reddit

You're depressed, basically. But I think right now, a lot of depression in our lives is coming from the outside rather than the more traditional internal route.

My life, over all, is pretty good. I make good money. I've got a comfortable life. I'm about to put a daughter through college and we've saved well enough that we've already got 50% of her 4 years saved. My job is good enough, even though we keep cycling thorough upper level managers who seem determined to redefine "seagull boss".

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LS139@reddit

Clinically, this is called “passive suicidal ideation.” The screener is “if I didn’t wake up tomorrow, that’d be ok with me.”

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I’m going through it too. Maybe not the answer you wanna hear, but eating the bacon and the bad foods will feel great until it doesn’t.

Make a list of shit you wanna do, even if it’s trivial things like “watch the new Superman movie.” It trains your brain to look forward to things.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

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farmerben02@reddit

It looks like all of us are feeling that way. Part of it is our age - 50s are supposedly the least happy time in our lives. Most of us can't quite retire yet, but our career trajectory has peaked, we're tired, our parents need more help, our kids need help, But never nobody around to help us.

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imjustaviewer@reddit

Not Gen X, really Z, but I feel this way as well. As a child I always thought "This is what people bother for?" and that feeling has only grown.

Im MH370 at this point, coasting and once I'm out of fuel I'll just hit the water.

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threesunrises@reddit

Totally understand this feeling. Husband wants to retire, but I have medical issues and we need insurance. I'm years away from Medicare - not that it will be there when I'm eligible.

My dog is sick, I don't think she'll be with us by week's end. Everything sucks.

I tripped on something in the guest room and my knee and arm are bruised.

You aren't alone. Hit 50 and feel like if I just disappeared in a puff of smoke, I'd be fine with it.

I'm not suicidal at all, doing pretty well overall, but I'm just exhausted by being alive.

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OakieTheGoldnRetrevr@reddit

I hear you. You are not alone.

I wish I had an answer, recommendation, etc, but I think I am in a similar space. At least for now. I hope to make improvements-just kinda stuck in the moment.

PLEASE, please hang in there and take care of yourself. Of course, I need to take this advice myself.

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Extra-Walk-5513@reddit

I 100% relate to this

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sneakysnake1111@reddit

Exist in spite. In spite of it all.

Exist in spite of it being meaningless and futile.

i dunno, things can change. I have no idea how I have hope.

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AcatSkates@reddit

Apathy

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Stare_Decisis@reddit

I feel that exact way right now.

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sweeneyty@reddit

doldrums

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PilotKnob@reddit

Sorry you feel this way. That sucks, and you are being heard.

Get your hormone and vitamin levels checked. Those two things in combination or even on their own can send anyone into a spiral.

Trust me, I just found that out. My Vitamin B was very low and my Testosterone is slightly low. The doc prescribed Vitamin B shots and I'm already feeling much more energetic. I can't imagine how much better the Testosterone treatment would make me feel. I have friends on it who say they feel 20 again. I'd love that, but it can also have pretty killer side effects. So I'm trying the Vitamin B route first and will escalate if necessary.

Nothing feels right when you're unbalanced. Try to get things chemically right with your body before making any other decisions. It can be done, and it might be something stupid simple like my example!

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Snugrilla@reddit

I feel like enjoying life takes more effort as we age. For me it's a combination of forcing myself (yes, literally forcing) to do new things outside of my comfort zone, and also revisiting things from my past that I enjoyed.

It seems like the farther back I go, the more rewarding that is. For example, last night I was watching a movie that I could just barely remember from my youth, because I watched it over 40 years ago.

I've been spending a lot of time in nostalgia/vintage toy forums, that sort of thing, and sometimes I stumble upon something that I just barely remember from my youth. It's always exciting when that happens.

I also enjoy journaling a lot. Like, just write stuff down. It can change my perspective, because the act of turning it into words makes me feel differently, somehow. Like, on a day when I feel super unhappy, I try and write down what, exactly, is making me feel bad and then when it's just words on a page it feels like less of a big deal, I guess? You can even just throw the pages away when you're done.

I just wanted to say I relate to how you feel and unfortunately there's no easy answer. Staying happy and fulfilled is hard work. I know how strange that sounds, but I really think it's true.

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missc11489@reddit

I'm not genx but I feel the same. I'm just marking the days off the calendar. If I live another 40 years which, I might or I might not (not in the greatest of health) that's 14,600 days. So each day I just count down. I wake up and exist and wait for the day to end so I can go back to sleep.

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chriscbr500r@reddit

I'm 46 and I feel you. Definitely feeling a deeper mid love crisis than I thought I already went through when I bought and expensive car.

Do what makes you happy my friend. That's my approach and so far has been keeping me above ground and motivated.

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Satans_colon@reddit

I call it World Weary.

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brokenmcnugget@reddit

and now the gift shop on the way out of the park has become a giant cheese grater with a conveyor belt moving at double speed.

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Evildeern@reddit

Shot to Shit is what I say.

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I will tell you this...if you start eating the shit, you're gonna feel worse.

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xXmehoyminoyXx@reddit

Anyone of you stubborn fucks every been to therapy? I swear Gen Xers will list every symptom of clinical depression and then say some dumb shit like I gotta "man up" or claim this is just the way things are.

Have you sought out a therapist and been in therapy for an extended amount of time? OR are you bottling this up and drinking like all the Gen Xers in my life?

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IHadTacosYesterday@reddit

Why so they can prescribe me some bullshit SSRI's?

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xXmehoyminoyXx@reddit

No dude! Psychologists don’t prescribe anything. They just listen and help you work your shit out. It’s incredibly helpful.

You’re thinking of psychiatrists. They’re not the same at all.

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el_smurfo@reddit

If it wasn't for my wife and kids, I'd probaby just quit my job and waste away at home away from the world. I do feel a little bad for bringing two daughters into this world, but they are smart and interesting people and we will provide as safe a landing for them as possible as they try to get their feet under them.

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Polar_Vortx@reddit

Depression. I would call it depression. Go get checked.

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I-I2O@reddit

Adam Grant calls it "languishing".

Our world is severely messed-up:

We've got work to do, but the two camps - the extreme "left" and the extreme "right" - need ALL our attention to win their little culture wars. We have agents from authoritarian states interfering in everything because they want more - more money, more power... Same as every other greedy person out there, because they're all over social media telling us the things we should be doing - that just happen to coincide with their income; imagine that?

Greed. Greed never changes. All the corpos scrambling all over each other like crabs in a bucket trying to own or control "AI" because, despite knowing nothing about it whatsoever, its a magical money machine that will flawlessly "make them rich"... Allegedly. Its a race to the bottom to be the next John D. Rockefeller or Bill Gates, who made all that philanthropic money by stepping over a LOT of lifeless bodies.

I have no idea what to make of human social interaction because... Damn. "Women (never "girls" lest you suffer the 'wong label' wrath) should be [ insert impossible expectation here ]", "Boys should(/not) [ commence laundry list of directives ]
What ever happened to just being with / around someone you like who's like you?

So yeah, we're all "languishing" in our own way and, ironically THIS ("social media") is a lot of the problem, sorry to say.

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Mammoth_Progress_373@reddit

Family. The answer you are looking for is family. Spend time with the ones you love, or, if you don't love them, it ay be time to start your own family. Having your own family is what living is. You will never feel more rewarded than when you have children, and raise them. It makes everything else worth it for you, for them.

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jopasm@reddit

Depression (you can be depressed without suicidal tendencies).

Autistic Burnout (wasn't a common/recognized diagnosis when many of us were kids)

ADHD burnout (see above)

General overwhelm (the world is pretty crap at the moment)

There's lots of therapy options these days, including online with actual humans. Maybe talk to someone? Sometimes you just need a new perspective or some new tools in the ol' mental health toolkit.

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theoriginalb@reddit

Can totally relate.

Especially today (big stupid bill day).

I feel almost exactly like OP and thought that I had anhedonia. But I was reading about it, and supposedly if you suffer from it, you don't even enjoy food...

Da fuq?

How are you not going to be able to enjoy food.

I still enjoy the fuck out of certain foods.

So, if I do have anhedonia, I must have a mild case

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ElderberrySeveral382@reddit

Try this: Quit sodium, caffeine, sugar, tv, video games etc. Just read books and eat raisins or plain pasta or rice for two weeks. Then buy some non dutch cacao powder and put it in some chocolate ice cream and watch some old movies you love. You will be hit with a tidal wave of euphoria for a week or so. Like getting back on that roller coaster.

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Who_dat_goomer@reddit

This seems to hit right around 50, or at least it did for me. Unable to take any pleasure or satisfaction from anything. Future looks grim.

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Character_Problem_93@reddit

I know you say you aren't suicidal but it does sound like depression.

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IHadTacosYesterday@reddit

So what...

Personally, I think depression in an evolutionary adaptation.

It's a feature... not a bug.

Depression allows a person to know that life is a total piece of dogshit and don't get your hopes up about anything.

The reason why this is crucial, is because if you didn't already feel this way, you'd really be upset by how awful everything is. Depression get's you prepared for feeling even worse. The bad times are in our future. Depression helps us get ready.

When you already think everything is a complete, utter piece of dogshit, nothing really bothers you anymore, because you already expected the worst.

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IowaAJS@reddit

I was surprised the first answer wasn’t depression (sung to the tune of Tradition)z

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astronarchaeology@reddit

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Especially when I see my older friends dealing with health issues and I start to wonder if that's me in 10 years.

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No_Gap_2700@reddit

Same. I relate to this to absolute inner core. Life has completely lost it's luster. All the things that I used to enjoy about life are all gone or have been bastardized to the point to where I can no longer appreciate any of it.

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ProcessAdmirable8898@reddit

It's called depression. Please seek help, talk to your doctor or call a hotline.

https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/helplines/national-helpline

This level of depression is often called silent depression and can lead to you skipping medicine, doctor appointment, stopping brushing your teeth, stop bathing.

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earthgarden@reddit

But there is nothing else?

I mean no unkindness, ok. I am genuninely asking how can you think this, what happened to your curiousity and wonder. Do you truly believe that you have seen everything, done everything, and know everything?? Myself, I feel like like I could live a thousand years and not even touch everything this world has to offer.

The future holds nothing.

The future holds change. The future holds both the certainty of predictable things as well as the element of suprise. These two things combined = hope in my philosophy of life

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ishouldquitsmoking@reddit

I really came here to make this exact same post.

I'm tired.

I'm a paycheck to most.

I'm dissatisfied in almost every area of my life. I shouldn't be, but I am. Almost nothing gives me joy anymore, and I've tried many things (ask my therapist).

I have too many responsibilities to be irresponsible.

I'm tired.

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FragrantBear675@reddit

what he or she said

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smokin_monkey@reddit

Silver singles or other online dating app. Find a partner. I just started a whole new life at age 60 after my wife died a few years ago.

What we need is Absurdism.

Icy-Establishment298@reddit

There was a professor or some such who said after this age ( I think 70) I'm done. Any thing that's a cancer, heart, etc that will kill me without treatment, I will let comfort care only.

At 58, I've looked at my future, especially with the "Big Beautiful Bill" passed, and it's bleak. Today's the day I make the same decision. No more screenings, etc comfort care only .

I loved a life, that's more than a lot of others got

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Cleverwabbit5@reddit

yeah I am done, it has been decades of struggle. Too much loneliness,too many traumas and toxic people around me, no family that cares if I live or die. No partner, kids, not even a dog anymore. My industry has died and looking for a job is overwhelming and soul sucking, especially since I loved my career, even though it was super tough. I never made great money so I have only a small savings. Doing things feels like walking through mud. 95% of my favorite places(shop,eat,visit) are gone now, I can't afford to go out or get take out anymore. TV seems like the same stupid stories, movies are bleh, food isn't motivating. I know I am depressed too. But I am tired, and with the shitshow happening here in the US, I don't want to be here for it. I have been an activist most of my life and this is too much. I am too by myself, and have tried to make new friends etc. But I seem to attract takers and nutjobs so sick of doing everything alone I don't enjoy it. I used to go with people who I knew where difficult just to be able to go, but not anymore. I feel like the walking dead already. I have glaucoma and got lens replacement but one of my eyes is failing. My body hurts all the time. My mind hurts. Hope hurts. I am tired of it all.

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the_other_50_percent@reddit

Sometimes I do. So the choice is to leave things as they are, or use my knowledge and connections and ability to nudge things in a better direction. So I do that, hour after hour, unless I'm too tired or need a laugh or someone in the family or community needs me - which is actually the same nudge.

I can relate to how you feel. I also feel emotionally tired, just tired of dealing with people in general. I am an introvert so my alone time is important to me.

I also eat the “bad” foods. Sometimes the highlight of my day is my bowl of ice cream at bedtime.

I keep going for my cats and my daughter.

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robot_pirate@reddit

I completely get you.

You are not alone. Like you, I’m not suicidal. But if I got hit by a bus tomorrow, I don’t know that I would be too broken up about it.

“Hit me twice, I don’t wanna survive this fucking thing.”

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CrispityCraspits@reddit

You're tired, but you are also free.

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Low-Research-6866@reddit

Can you get cataract surgery?

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DramaticErraticism@reddit

I've felt like this a lot of times in my life.

I think the only thing that got me out of feeling like this, is quitting drinking and joining AA. I felt like I had a real community for once in my life. Met a lot of people who were trying to do better, every day of their life.

Stories of inspiration, stories of failure, figuring out how to be accountable for my own shit and do more with my life.

It's weird that the worst thing in my life, addiction, became a path to finding what I was looking for all this time, connection with other human beings.

No matter what hobbies you have or how you spend your free time, almost every human being is searching for one single thing, connection with other human beings.

Many of us sit at home, our hobbies are at home, we sit on our phones, we watch TV and then we hate life and think there is nothing to live for.

Everything you want in life, is outside the 4 walls of your home, you just have to go out and do something about it. I guarantee the more hobbies you have out of the home and the more groups you join with other humans, in person, the happier you will be.

If you think you can be happy just sitting at home by yourself, you have a lot of miserable days in front of you.

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viisi@reddit

What you're describing sounds a lot like anhedonia.

There are some medications that can cause it. Or it can be caused by your lifestyle. You mentioned "F it, I'll eat the bacon and bad foods", that can be a major contributor to anhedonia.

Aside from taking meds to combat this, there are changes you can make that will help. Start going to the gym, even if it's for like 10 minutes at a time to do a light walk on the treadmill. Start building these healthy habits, be consistent, and don't over-push yourself. Baby steps.

If you were to actually follow through with some health focused lifestyle changes, I guarantee you that you WILL be a different person by next year.

Eat right. Exercise. And sleep well.

Fixing those 3 thins will do wonders. If you ever need any help/guidance, I'm here for you. I was in the same space like 2-3 years ago.

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BigCountryExpat@reddit

Turning 56.... just .....existing....
I got two GREAT grandkids that I love but even then...

The 'bucket list' is ALMOST completely done. All the 'check-boxes' filled. Someone used the word ennui... rather appropo. Sort of retired (DotMil) but NOT enough to live on... physically wrecked too (from the DotMil).

I now understand why Hunter S. Thompson 'ate his piece' so to speak

GenX is the first group that got to see how great it (the world) used to be, while realizing just how shitty it became.

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sixwax@reddit

We've got some miles on the odometer and we weren't built for the dopamine circus that is life today.

I'll recharge a bit, and build some enthusiasm up.... but the unending fanfare of bullshit today seems to sap it pretty quick.

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Healthy-Grape-777@reddit

Honey, go get yourself a massage and then have a nice dinner somewhere and eat it really slowly. If you drink have one drink no more. Then go sit beside the river for a little while. You’ll feel better. I mean it do it this weekend or as soon as you can.

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Head_supper@reddit

I'm grateful you posted this! I've tried to respond a few times but it's just repeating your story in a roundabout way. I know one thing. You're not alone. Apathy has been a quiet killer for me for a while now.

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Jokerchyld@reddit

Yeah I feel this way too. Gainfully employed. Eat well. Could work out more.. oh could work out period.

Also not suicidal it's more existential. Ever since the US election Im like WTF are we doing?! We know better.

Not only are they destroying the fabric of this country they are doing irreparable harm.

It just makes me feel like... why give a fuck if no one else is?

When I was 10 I thought it would have been cool to live in the environment of thr Road Warrior. No rules. Just do what you want.

Samesies.

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Tardy_Turtle73@reddit

My Mom passed away 11 years ago. Since then I wake up, go into the bathroom and stare at the person staring back at me for what seems like a long time. I whisper, “I really don’t want to be here.”

I relate to what you’re saying.

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Ghost1012004@reddit

That’s how I describe how I’m feeling…tired! I’ve been through the trenches, raised three kids, lost a child, had a career, retired, lost friends and family, barely hear from grown kids cause they have lives now, etc. I’m tired. I’m in process of writing a book and I believe once it’s done my life will be fulfilled. I do believe in God so I won’t go till He says so, but I don’t think I’ll complain either.

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anunderdog@reddit

I totally get this. I think the best way to deal with it is find a cause. Maybe helping kids? Helping seniors? Coaching a team? Tutoring? Gardening in the park? Something outside of what you do. Not a hobby but something that makes a difference to someone. I don't know. Just a suggestion. I often find myself searching for meaning. I call it 'existential crisis 27'

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Fun-Distribution-159@reddit

burned out

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getaclueless_50@reddit

Ennui, from old French. Not a new concept.

BluTGI@reddit

I feel ya.

Not sure if you're looking for recommendations, start forcing novelty into your life. Take a different route. Try something new. Start looking to see what's over the next hill.

Also maybe do some volunteering.

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KirbyTheCat2@reddit

That's the result of lack of real and deep social contacts.

A good way to get out of that zone is doing volunteering work...

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wild-hectare@reddit

ONE OF US!

i just want to coast on autopilot...so tired of problem solving / thinking all day every day

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AtomicHurricaneBob@reddit

Mid Life Crisis

Go buy a nice car. I got a Golf R as a compromise on the Porsche.

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suzsid@reddit

Ennui. I feel it occasionally as well.

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Dramatic-Secret937@reddit

For sure. Maybe a feeling of being "cheated", for lack of a better word? Or something?

Human life occurs only once, and the reason we cannot determine which of our decisions are good and which bad is that in a given situation we can make only one decision; we are not granted a second, third, or fourth life in which to compare various decisions. There is no means of testing which decision is better, because there is no basis for comparison. We live everything as it comes, without warning, like an actor going on cold. And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself? That is why life is always like a sketch. No, "sketch" is not quite a word, because a sketch is an outline of something, the groundwork for a picture, whereas the sketch that is our life is a sketch for nothing, an outline with no picture. -milan kundera "the unbearable lightness of being"

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put_simply@reddit

I've been a Type 2 diabetic for 19 years now and despite all my caution/planning and care I just spent a week in the hospital because of a side effect of a medicine I've safely taken for 2 years without incident. Life often blows but you amble on because fuck quitting.

I don't have a lot of sage advice. Maybe smoke a little pot now and then, it has a tendency, I've heard, to make un-fun things....fun.

trishben@reddit

/GenXer here and I feel the same way. You are definitely not alone.

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DisastrousBison6774@reddit

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia

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RedwoodsareAwesome@reddit

I burned out hard awhile back. Daily workouts and nature expose fixes it for me.

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Standard_Storage1733@reddit

So me

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Turbulent_Ease2149@reddit

It's like I wrote it, exactly how I'm feeling. It's like the ending of the movie They Shoot Horses, don't they?

Holy shit is this post timely. I'm sitting at my desk in this exact same state of mind. Not suicidal, just mother fucking tired. Tired of the greed at the top affecting everyone. Tired of the internet (yeah, I know.) Tired of people just being shitty to each other.

I do have a hobby I love. I'm taking a wonderful Scandinavian trip next month. My job is stable (for me, I own it so I'll be the last lady standing should shit go real south). Husband makes a good wage. We eat well, we go to the gym. We see our family (that's left) and friends.

KptKreampie@reddit

Waiting around to die.
There is a great song about it. https://youtu.be/LGMOX8NpuR0?si=aHbp1ENUaM8Nfhvw

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412_15101@reddit

I’ve worked to my the world a better place by doing what I can/small things through my life. In Girl Scouts it was always pressed to leave it cleaner than you found it mentality.

I feel like Cinderella scrubbing the floor when Lucifer comes in and just prances all over it.

For each one of my actions there’s an equal reverse action. 🤷‍♀️. But I’m playing this game of chicken hoping my adversary is the one who gives up first.

gif

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Most-Confusion-417@reddit

I am in this boat also.

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SV650rider@reddit

Am perhaps similarly tired. I just spent the past five years getting a degree. But now I am so tired from it, I don't have a lot of "juice" to reinvent myself for the next level of my career. It's to the point that I actually even told my supv., probably the last person I should be talking to about that.

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ZedArkadia@reddit

I think everyone needs something to hold on to, and after a certain age it gets tough because of disillusionment. I feel like this is probably really common, it's just that we're all faking it just to get through the day.

You’re not grateful for anything? I’m sure you are. Go and appreciate those things again. Don’t take things for granted. We all get in ruts but don’t let it dominate you. Life is a gift and you don’t to realize it when it’s too late.

Read books on this topic. Sounds like you have a capped mindset. Focusing on ego. I recommend a book called A New Earth. Very deep book that I had to read slowly but it was amazing. Also read the Alchemist. Hope you’re able to get out of this situation and find a way to find joy again

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mazerbrown@reddit

I lived a pretty full live in my first 50 years. Don't have too many bucket items left. I'm finding that traveling with my kids now mostly involves me saying - here are the tickets I'll go take a nap or sit in the car... you have your fun and BTDT I'll go have mine. It's ok. I figure I've got 10 years till I can retire, 20 will make it a good life for me. After that anything goes.

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Ianm1225@reddit

Turning 50 this year, and I feel very similarly.

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Fulfilled your dreams? I get your message. Been there a lot, lately, too. There are things I'd still like to do but, feels like it's time to focus more on setting up for retirement than chasing irresponsible dreams. Something that really doesn't appeal to the "Zest for Life"

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LaLunacy@reddit

I feel you. Was talking to my sister the other day, and told her I was done. Clarified to say I was NOT suicidal (I'm not), I just want to crawl into a cave and be left alone. I'm tired of dealing with work, dealing with my son, dealing with money, dealing with taking care of my apt, etc, etc.

Wanna move into the cave next to me?

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ONROSREPUS@reddit

Wow. Sorry to hear about this.

gif

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PhantomAngel278@reddit

Anhedonia

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No_Budget7828@reddit

Thank you for sharing this. I think it’s incredibly brave to say how you really feel. I hope you can find some small pockets of joy from your cat. 💜💜🤗

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East-Pound9884@reddit

Are you me? I’m not going to put in any effort to speed up the process but I don’t care when it ends. Been there, done that, I’m tired.

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Competitive-Fact-820@reddit

With you all the way on this feeling.

Not looking at forcefully ending my existence but if I didn't wake up tomorrow it's no great tragedy for anyone.

My husband feels the same way, in fact we were talking about it last night. Our relationship is as good as it has ever been and that definitely isn't the problem it's just everything is completely "meh".

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aslut8tulsa@reddit

Same. Been there, done that. Read the book and saw the movie. I also have a very small circle of people who would care if I chucked it all and I’m pretty sure the closest would just be annoyed that I wasn’t around to take care of all their shit for them. Is there anything else? I genuinely feel this everyday. I’m not buying a rope either but I occasionally window shop. I agree with the nature suggestion. Plants and pets help me a ton. Hang in there friend.

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architectzero@reddit

Right there with you. Been this way for 10 years now.

For me it all comes down to my fucking pointless job/career, because everything outside of that is great. I hang on because my family life is awesome (wife, kids, all of that), but the pit of ennui that is my job always looms in the background sucking the soul from my body.

In my pop-psychology understanding of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs I’m at the ceiling of Esteem / floor of Self Actualization, and can’t quite break through because I have “obligations”. I just want to sit around making music, painting wargaming miniatures, and attempting to make furniture with hand tools but I still have to put the kids through college, etc. so I basically clock in, day dream about my hobbies, and do the absolute bare minimum in hopes of not getting fired because the only reason I give even the slightest of shits about my job is the paycheque.

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gloomgirll@reddit

I say this a lot-I have chronic pain from neurosarcoid -I’ve had spinal fusions, blah blah blah-three kids are adults, I’ve been married for forever-I feel done.

I’ve survived a lot and I’m just exhausted, not suicidal-just feel like I’m waiting to go to sleep many of my days and feel like I’m ultimately just waiting for the ‘big sleep’-

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mmmohhh@reddit

I get this 110%. You are not alone!!

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Hopeful_Giraffe946@reddit

Thats how I feel every morning, very few friends, zero family. I think I stick around because I don't want anyone else taking care of my cat

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MissPeppingtosh@reddit

Not trying to be a dick but do you have insurance? Most cover basic cataract removal. That alone could be causing the blahs. I have hardly any vision in one eye and the other is declining. I’m getting surgery end of the month fully covered.

Don’t let the rest of your health decline. It’s a downward slope if you do. My mom had a heart attack at 52 and lost everything as a result.

I was thinking about this just last night. My life is as good as a life can be, and there are moments when I am truly happy. The rest of the time, I just don’t know what the point of it all is.

I was like this for years. I fin ally broke out of it when I moved to the right place. II have been a city girl my whole life, thought I would die out in the boonies- just not for me. I live out among the Amish now. I have a pool and swim, there's a river in the back that I will just sit by and listen to the water. I garden, I swim. I wake up every day grateful.

I decluttered all of the stuff left to me by my parents after they died, I kept a few things. I decluttered all the stuff that I had of my husband's, after he died. Pared down, moved away from the hustle, and it was the best thing that have done for myself in decades

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bluudclut@reddit

When I was in my 20s. My Grandad was still alive but was getting on. I remember him telling me he wasn't afraid of death as he had enough. He had done everything he had wanted. Brought up the family etc. and he said the same thing 'I'm just tired'. At the time I didn't understand. I 100% do now. I feel the same, I'm tired.

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gwy2ct@reddit

You need a good therapist. Or a good lay.

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edasto42@reddit

I kinda felt that and did some deep digging and figured out some things about myself that I hadn’t dealt with and confronted them. This coincided with a big cross country move (which was probably the catalyst to the deep digging). But both of those things happening reinvigorated life. Everyday is an adventure-plus I keep to my adage of doing something different, no matter how large or small (even trying a new way home from work is enough), every day to keep things fresh.

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AnitaPeaDance@reddit

Dead inside.

Life has become a series of obligations, chores, tasks and to dos, and many of these things are on repeat. It's fucking monotonous.

Hobbies can distract you from it. Vices can make you feel better for a small time.

It sucks.

I find the most comfort in my spouse, cats, and nature.

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Melodic-Comb9076@reddit

go volunteer.

do something to make the world a better place.

focus more on others than yourself.

it’s working for me.

signed,

the most selfish person i’ve ever known

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Minimum_E@reddit

Ever hear the song “is that all there is”? I enjoy the Firewater cover the most.

The future may hold nothing but you won’t know unless you get there, good luck!

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Ecstatic_Lake_3281@reddit

Depression.

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Poppychick@reddit

I’m here too. The theme that runs through my head is Aerosmith’s line “My get up and go musta got up and went.”

I’m already on antidepressants, have had metastatic breast cancer for over 8 years, have an adult daughter on disability that I help support and I got let go from my job of 10 years a few months ago.

Yah it's pretty common. So many jobs have no discernible purpose or benefit to society, the culture is dead, the country has been invaded, nobody gives a shit about the rules anymore.

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vwaldoguy@reddit

I think it happens to a lot of us.

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t65789@reddit

Tired, Boss, I hear you. It’s hard. But you know what, you can find something which will bring some joy. Maybe do some work at the local animal shelter. Make a small difference, that is good enough. Keep your chin up.

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Servile-PastaLover@reddit

Exhaustion - both physical and emotional at the same time.

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talking-heads-77@reddit

Nihilistic

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IAmAnEediot@reddit

A lot of this is due to social media and the amount of time spent on a PC/tablet/phone. You end up comparing yourself to others 'magical life' and find it does not measure up.