ULPT: How to make inconsiderate neighbors experience their own lifestyle choices
Posted by passifloraAffinis@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 54 comments
Since May, one of our neighbors — apparently going through some kind of midlife awakening — has decided that partying every night is the way to go. Music, shouting, pool noise... every evening, from around 5PM to 11PM, like clockwork.
We tried talking to them. Explained nicely that we’d like to be able to open our windows without having to endure their music or shouting every night. Their response? Basically, “We just want to enjoy ourselves.”
We even invited them over to build some kind of friendly rapport. Instead, they took over our smart speaker and played their music loudly — without even asking.
We live in a quiet suburban neighborhood, and moving isn’t an option right now. The lack of consideration is making us slowly lose our minds.
So here I am, asking you : do you have any tricks to help them get a taste of their own medicine?
For context:
- He’s a general practitioner
- They have a nice pool
- Their garden is right next to ours
- He seems to be very into smart home tech
Thanks for any ideas you might have. We’re desperate for a little peace.
Pitiful-Gift5772@reddit
Hows your throwing arm? Launch bath bombs into the pool.
didi66@reddit
Maybe accidentally stream your porn to their devices. It's a bit embarrassing for you cause they might put 2+2 together but if their music is always loud the other neighbors will get an ear full too. This is a small one but might give them something to be ashamed about every once in a while.
Sharkattacktactics@reddit
I have no idea how effective this is but blue food colouring in their pool maybe? Would imagine it would be quite challenging to find blue enough to stain skin but not enough to be visibly bluer
Mackerel_Skies@reddit
Throw a stool into his pool...
Critical_Cat_8162@reddit
I'm pretty sure that oil in the pool might fuck things up.
BildoWarrior@reddit
In the morning, open your windows, crank up Judas Priest’s Painkiller on loop, and go run errands.
stabbingrabbit@reddit
Or bagpipes..
Lele_@reddit
I add Peter Brotzmann to the playlist
amy000206@reddit
I love bagpipes! We had a neighbor who played , it was awesome! I wasn't the only one who did..Might want to skip the bagpipes, old weirdos seem to love them and they've got a pair of them. A pair of old weirdos , not a pair of bagpipes.
Winter_Persimmon_110@reddit
Or Shitmat, Igorr, or Merzbow
amy000206@reddit
8 hours of the Flintstones intro would give them a lifetime of earworms!
fluffychonkycat@reddit
Baby Shark. They might enjoy Judas Priest, nobody over the age of 4 likes Baby Shark
Longjumping-Table-39@reddit
How about Gwar ?
bc60008@reddit
Love Gwar. Not eight hours worth, or anything like that..
someone4shore@reddit
Time to learn a new instrument? The recorder 🪈 is cheap and annoying!. Take up chainsaw sculpture? Play with leaf blowers and weed whackers?. Do they like their lawn perfect? A few piss discs lobbed over the fence at night or weed killer icecubes and they will suddenly have mysterious dead patches in their lawn. You could put weed killer in a super soaker water gun and draw pictures on their lawn that'll take a day or two to start showing but could be fun. You could start offering elephant clog dancing lessons like my neighbors do. Best of luck!!
Dailia-@reddit
Now is the time to constantly call law enforcement about their loudness.
Add the fact that there may be children and animals in the house.
Is a general practitioner a doctor? You can add comments and complaints to the physicians and surgeons college in your province/state.
blaspheminCapn@reddit
But if they kill it at 11, they're probably within noise ordinances, right?
Might be time to call Karen at the HOA
superiorstephanie@reddit
Ours are 10 pm on weeknights.
superiorstephanie@reddit
Ours are 10 pm on weeknights.
thrftybstrd@reddit
You can send them literal shit via Poop senders. Or a glitter bomb is a bit kinder. If you know their email you can sign them up for a bunch of spam or trials and flood their inbox
lisep1969@reddit
Play back their music choices to them at 8am on Sunday.
Personalrefrencept2@reddit
Start by fucking with his pool! Maybe you do a teen takeover as a “prank” and have them jump in as a mob in the middle of his good times one evening … if they’re covered in dust and dirty even better! Mass bath with wreck havoc on his filters it’d be a shame if they had pockets full of trash
Signal jammers are illegal if you’re caught with one, but putting it on his property and fucking his smart home up is priceless
Don’t fuck with his garden, that’s just kinda rude… but I hear mint garden bombs are great for soil health and can’t truly be contained… shame if they landed on his lawn!
You’re not allowed to hurt trees ( they take to long to grow and are your friends even if he isn’t ) but toilet paper is cheap and so is throwing it over his house and garden… extra points if you use his hose to water it down 😉
Oh, and Shazam ever fucking song he plays and play it back outta sync in your own place loud enough to enjoy but quiet enough to annoy them
Follow me for more fun tips
newhappyrainbow@reddit
Don’t do the mint one unless you are okay with also having your yard over run with mint. It won’t respect the fence line.
lisep1969@reddit
Same with Lemon Balm. That shit goes crazy! But it smells awesome when you mow your lawn.
I put some in a pot sob I could make Lemon Balm tea with the leaves, it’s delicious. Four years later that stuff is everywhere. Even on the opposite side of my house. Personally I don’t care, like I said it smells great but if they are “perfect lawn people” it will mess them up
UserCheckNamesOut@reddit
Wanna fuck up a pool filer, pour broken glass into the intake valve under the skimme basket
Personalrefrencept2@reddit
Thank you for you services!
AdventurousRevenue90@reddit
Piss discs
Personalrefrencept2@reddit
But only for his compost pile!
That’s how you’d really fuck with him!
Gorilla warfare gardening
HalfBlindKing@reddit
Loving the Shazam tip.
Beginning_Service387@reddit
Time to start leaf blowing at 6am sharp, my friend
lisep1969@reddit
Or as soon as is legal where they live.
Havocking-Mayhem@reddit
Get invited inside his home, excuse yourself to "go to the bathroom", and instead go to his bedroom and rub insulation all over his underwear and socks. He'll itch for a while before figuring out why.
THEN go to his bathroom and add Nair to his shampoo/body wash.
Lol
Longjumping-Table-39@reddit
Go the extra mile and leave an upper decker.
fluffychonkycat@reddit
Check how secure their wi-fi is. You might be able to play something special for them on their speakers. Bonus if you then lock them out of their own speakers.
Longjumping-Table-39@reddit
Like some “porn sounds”🤣
NullGWard@reddit
I had a downstairs neighbor who would always blast his music the moment he came home in the middle of the night. If I had a neighbor who knocked off the noise at 11 pm, I would be grateful.
redthump@reddit
Put out the word that this guy is loose with the prescriptions and make sure people have his address. Both work and home.
redthump@reddit
On the tech front, a flipper zero can constantly fuck with this Bluetooth connection. Depending on his router, it can also fuck with his Wi-Fi connection constantly through deauthorization attacks. If he want to go a little bit cheaper but a little bit more hands-on, a Raspberry Pi 02w and a kali distro can do the exact same thing except with a little bit more work from you. If he has a fiber optic internet line, you can always take it out and put a drop of super glue on the glass. That's really fun.
Odd-Sun7447@reddit
I mean...maybe not IN his garden, but double mint bombs into lawn would be a nightmare to get rid of...
I would also start making lots of noise really early in the morning.
If they're extra annoying, you could always soap the pool...
Bestie-Ethel@reddit
I’m assuming that if they’re staying up late to party, then they are enjoying their sleep in the mornings and not getting up very early. I would suggest doing very loud yard work at the crack of dawn: lawnmower, edger, leaf blower, power washer, loud shop vac, etc. Most of these things can be rented from home improvement stores, if you don’t own any noisy equipment. Oh, and do all your gardening to loud music.
Are there any hobbies that involve noxious smells? That might be a good way to make their outside time less enjoyable! Or you could take up a very loud hobby, like bagpipes, and practice all hours when you know they are home.
samjohnson2222@reddit
Skunk scent from Amazon.
Daitheflu1979@reddit
Fill a water balloon with washing up liquid and black dye, launch it into his pool…
Rip_van_fuck12@reddit
Oh I like this one
CosmicContessa@reddit
What’s the opposite of the music he plays? Smooth jazz? Opera? 1970s rock music? Play that at full volume, on a speaker directly facing him.
beckster@reddit
Sheesh, doesn’t anybody know a guy? I’m not suggesting any action, that’s up to the guy somebody knows.
Mike_Raphone99@reddit
Joe pesci
longdistancepew@reddit
Buy some black pond dye and throw it in his pool.
fuckthisicestorm@reddit
Imagine being mad about someone enjoying their pool and friends between 5pm and 11pm in the summer on their own property. Like wow, what a horrible person 🙄
I like the teen takeover idea further up. Might trick op into having a little fun which is really the only happy solution here imo 🫠
UserCheckNamesOut@reddit
Dark bottom or white pool? If you were to get overzealous with a copper based algae remover, you risk purple concrete stains along the water's edge.
Cheap_Tank8376@reddit
Blast metal music
AdventurousRevenue90@reddit
Find out where he works. Leave a Google review under the clinic about the kind of person he is and express concern about how he comports himself and that you hope it doesn't bleed into his professional life.
daisymaisy505@reddit
When does the noise ordinance start for your town? Is it 10 PM or 11 PM?
Personally, I don't think a lot of people realize that when they have a pool, the noise echoes even further than a regular backyard. I know you've tried to talk to them about this.
My only thought is to record them at night and then play it very early in the morning to wake them up. But just make sure it's after quiet time in your town so you don't get in trouble.
dfgyrdfhhrdhfr@reddit
1 Get a few large speakers. #2 10/12 disk CD player.
3 Aquire 30+ hrs of Polka's Best & Worst Hits.
4 Turn on, volume to 11, take the kids on a wind trip.
GoauldofWar@reddit
Call the cops.