ULPT request: keep crackheads out of my driveway

[-]

Yardbirdburb@reddit

Start by posting random letters by the zodiac killer and gang stalking informational leaflets around on poles nearby. Make some on colored paper really jazz it up, but only for a few blocks around. Also wherever you might see police cars parked. Let these ride a week or two. Make some more OPEN FOR BUSINESS! CRACK 4 SALE! Let’s smoke crack and work on puzzles, come meet my gang stalkers! Post a picture of apartment with address and everything. (Bonus points if you make a website). Make sure you put all the new ones up in one night. I also like to hang a really large Grand Opening! banner when possible, some balloons etc. You could also “salt” the area. This is when you blanket the area with paraphernalia like baggies, jars, brillos, condoms, make or diss gang graffiti(sharpie makes good large chalk markers, they look like a drippy tag but wash rt off). It really helps with the vibes of the whole project. I know someone who made a website and put up a live feed of camera on the street. It took a few weeks but eventually he made the block so hot everyone got taken out.

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Jolly_Ad9677@reddit

I like your ambition.

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Alotta_Gelato@reddit

Freaky occult/voodoo looking stuff (skulls with random symbols painted on, fake magical alphabet writings, etc) set out on their path will scare off more than a few. Tweakers and crackheads are incredibly superstitious since theyre besieged by hallucinations anyway

[-]

Jolly_Ad9677@reddit

Yes!! There’s a lot of magical thinking going on with weaker. I like this idea.

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tomqvaxy@reddit

Chicken bones tied into crosses.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

I'll be dismantling chicken skeletons if you need me

[-]

disco_disaster@reddit

I used to leave the devil tarot card out on my dashboard and maybe a spell book or two on my passenger seat. I figured it would deter break ins. It seemed to have worked, but maybe it was luck. Many of my friends weren’t so lucky.

[-]

amackul8@reddit

I'd say grease the driveway

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Icamp2cook@reddit

I’d glue quarters down too.

[-]

statusfaux@reddit

They'll crowbar them up. I used to work at a gas station in a rough area of meth. But for $0.25 it was worth it every time.

Snapits. The firework you throw and they make a spark and a bang. Buy like 10 boxes and gently spread them in the area of activity. If it doesn't scare them off it's fun to watch.

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Jolly_Ad9677@reddit

Oh gawd. I’d pay to see this.

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Icamp2cook@reddit

Of course they will, that is part of what makes it so funny. The effort someone will put towards getting that quarter is amazing.

[-]

statusfaux@reddit

Especially in salem oregon. Literally, the same tweekers from the faces of meth. On New years on 00/01, they stole a whole blue mailbox.

[-]

Japslap@reddit

And play the Benny Hill theme song outside continously

[-]

PistachiNO@reddit

Benny hill has to be motion activated or else what is even the point

[-]

Either_Cupcake_5396@reddit

Now we’re talking. Piss discs, liquid ass, and Benny Hill. I love you, ULPT fam

[-]

notmynaturalcolor@reddit

This sub brings me so much joy.

[-]

Either_Cupcake_5396@reddit

It really does.

[-]

Either_Cupcake_5396@reddit

Eta: oh, God, the greased driveway and Benny Hill. I shd know better than to underestimate the power of this sub.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

I drowned the path they cut through the backyard and sprayed the bushes around it with dressing, sour cream, cream cheese, tomato sauce, and beans yesterday and left it to marinate in the 82° weather.

[-]

BigTribal@reddit

Hire a crackhead to keep away the crackheads

[-]

matthewjboothe@reddit

“Next time you need a cop, call a crackhead.”

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will_da_beezt@reddit

Great idea! Since they will already speak the language necessary to convince the other crackheads. I remember my old dealer had this one crackhead lady sweep up and clean the general area in front of his door and paid her in crack. That area was the cleanest in the whole complex for as long as we lived there!

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Any idea what the going rate is?

[-]

nutwiss@reddit

Crack. Always crack.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Stupid question

[-]

WellsFargone@reddit

Good luck getting rid of the alpha crackhead that ultimately emerges

[-]

Material-Win-2781@reddit

Figure out where these people are parking and put cameras facing that. Vehicles and License plates are 100x more useful evidence than video of passerbys.

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Popular-Platypus-102@reddit

Motion activated water sprinkler.

[-]

SirathLizard@reddit

*piss sprinkler, if you don't mind the smell

[-]

jmeesonly@reddit

piss sprinkler?

Just assert dominance and piss on them.

[-]

theUnshowerdOne@reddit

They already smell like piss.

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Stoic_Fervor@reddit

But not donkey piss

[-]

Milky_Gashmeat@reddit

It'd be way worse to smell like someone else's piss though, wouldn't it?

[-]

zoinks690@reddit

Piss disc shooter. Like they use for skeet but with piss discs

[-]

dongler666@reddit

Skeet would be sa

[-]

lonelylifts12@reddit

Skeet shooting is something else. Idk

[-]

zoinks690@reddit

I knew as soon as i typed it....

[-]

theythemnothankyou@reddit

Pull!!

[-]

jdog1067@reddit

Super soaker full of piss

[-]

Rabid-Ami@reddit

OH! Please also rig it up to play the Rick & Morty parody song, "Y'all ready for piss?!"

[-]

IllHat8961@reddit

Has this just become meta at this point or are y'all actually serious?

[-]

N-Y-R-D@reddit

Totally serious. 💦🍆

[-]

Pavswede@reddit

That's a free shower, what are you talking about

[-]

lifelong1250@reddit

This is the way.

[-]

FarmerFrance@reddit

This is the way.

[-]

Miserable_Drawer_556@reddit

Piss is the way.

[-]

Repulsive-Durian4800@reddit

You really don't think they'll steal it?

[-]

PolskieJoe@reddit

motion activated air horn. the crackheads will be mortified

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

I have definitely been considering this!

[-]

PolskieJoe@reddit

I hope one, if not more, of these hilarious suggestions work! I thought of this one bc I remember seeing motion activated compressed air cans being used to scare away unwanted animals from a yard - maybe that could work too!

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Haha thank you. I think I am winning the battle! I've been laughing my ass off the past 2 days at these comments. Man I love reddit

[-]

saxonovitch@reddit

Those trip wire devices which set off a blank shotgun cartridge

[-]

Alh840001@reddit

Are caltrops illegal where you live?

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

I had to look up what they are and goddamn, you don't mess around 😂

I just combed through and they aren't mentioned specifically but as long as there is signage indicating there are traps and no trespassing is permitted I'm fine, plus anyone who disturbs the traps while trespassing is a criminal!

[-]

Alh840001@reddit

I was just joking, I wouldn't expect those to be legal anywhere laws are enforced, they are more at home on the battlefield. I do hope you manage to overcome your current situation with the crackheads.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Lol yeah, all in good fun

Thanks, I think I am slowly winning actually

[-]

tomqvaxy@reddit

If the dealer has questionably cared for dogs, most do yeah I speak from crack neighbor experience, call animal control like every other week. The dog hippies will burn that shit down and you might help a dog.

[-]

Lurkstar@reddit

Agreed. You’d get a more likely response from animal control than police, and more likely involvement from an investigative authority.

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wirelesswitch@reddit

I’m not sure that Animal Control people deserve to be used as a threat. What did they ever do to you?

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tomqvaxy@reddit

Sounds like ethics.

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Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

I'll keep an ear out for it but I haven't heard any dogs.

[-]

Dailia-@reddit

There could still be dogs in there. You don’t know that 🙃

You could just suspect there is mistreated animals in the home.

[-]

ReverendRevolver@reddit

DW/Game Warden can hustle go do things regular cops can't..... within limited guidelines of course.

That often rattles dealers with uncared for dogs enough to move.

Also, using social media to send animal loving, human hating Karen's after them is ostensibly worse thsn the police....

[-]

alaskalilly7@reddit

Buy an old cop car at an auction and park it in the driveway. Get a man friend dressed in a suit enter your home through the back door after suspiciously standing outside for a few minutes occasionally talking into his shoulder. Do this a few times and say nothing but give a confident wave and friendly smile.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

You win.

[-]

Tongue-Punch@reddit

Give him a giant camera also.

[-]

GamingWithaFreak@reddit

Not your friend. Would do this for snacks. And monster. It's not an authentic cop without near lethal caffeine levels

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Pleasure doing business with you!

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GamingWithaFreak@reddit

But im keeping the uniform.

[-]

bigjakethegreat@reddit

Smile you’re on camera signs do wonders

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Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Yeah I'm gonna get one

[-]

bigjakethegreat@reddit

Motion activated spotlights can be cheap too

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lulufrufruu@reddit

100% this, then for added effect, “NO TRESPASSING: Violators will be prosecuted”

[-]

xShockWave420x@reddit

Get a little fence

[-]

OkTea7227@reddit

But then I’m fixing my blown up fence every other day!

[-]

needytatertot@reddit

Sorry bro, can't comment on the other threads. Anyone want to covertly type what the deleted comment was? I'm curious and the best comments seem to be the deleted ones

[-]

stabbingrabbit@reddit

Its never a war crime the first time.

[-]

voucher420@reddit

Calm down Canada!

[-]

Loud_Reputation_367@reddit

We are calm. You're the one getting all 'blown up' about it.

🤣

[-]

UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit

Your post or comment was removed for violating rule 8: No tips about rape, murder, suicide, or in general any tip that would violate the Geneva Convention laws.

[-]

big_duo3674@reddit

Start smoking crack, now the annoying people are all friends instead!

[-]

garyhewson80@reddit

My obese mother in law got arrested at the airport. She had 40 pounds of crack.

[-]

TempoHouse@reddit

I didn’t need that image while I was eating

[-]

5150-gotadaypass@reddit

Why would you eat while on Reddit?

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Your username lmfaooo

[-]

-YellowFinch@reddit

The mental image of this is beautiful.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

I'm an introvert

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PENISystem@reddit

You were an introvert

[-]

AlexV348@reddit

No one's an introvert when you're doing crack

[-]

WelcomeToTheClubPal@reddit

Try to tell that to my mini blinds

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

All this time the cure was right in front of me

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

😂😂😂💀🖤

[-]

big_duo3674@reddit

That's what the crack is for!

[-]

WickedPsychoWizard@reddit

Introverts can have friends. I love people when my battery's charged. And I stay home when it's not

[-]

psillyhobby@reddit

“Citizens undercover”

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Additional_Remote_69@reddit

My old dealer was forced to reassess how he was meeting customers due to a neighbour telling him

"I have no judgement with what you're doing and selling but I have had too many instances where your customers have disrespected this place and those who live here."

"Have a talk to the customers to make sure they understand they need to keep it quiet".

"With all this noise and chaos, someone may make an official complaint which isn't what anybody wants".

This was the gist of what was said to him by the neighbour. He made his customers aware and made sure the neighbour was happy. Chill and happy neighbours are what dealers want.

Seriously, just talk to them.

[-]

imnotbobvilla@reddit

This kind of thing cracks me up. It's like in the movies where the killer starts, the long-winded speech that gives the hero just enough time to react and foil the murder. In reality there ain't no speech, just pop pop and you're gone talking to drug dealers is like talking to a 3-year-old it ain't going to help and there ain't no logic or reason behind that blank stare

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Duuuumb motherfuckers

[-]

DirtyPrancing65@reddit

Then he knows your face and that you were upset, so if the cops show up, he’s going to hurt you or send someone to hurt you :(

You know logically the dealer should want neighbors happy, but they’re often using themselves and not reasonable

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Had this conversation with a serial offender last night. He was back 2 hours later.

[-]

rtmfb@reddit

Talk to the dealer, not the customers. The dealer will threaten to stop selling to them if they put him at risk.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Solid advice

[-]

JiveTurkeyMFer@reddit

He's implying talk to the dealer dude. Obviously reasoning with junkies ain't gonna work, but if you talk to the neighbor like a human and just ask him to spread the word to his customers, they'll show respect. No crack head wants to piss off their dealer by making the spot hot

[-]

Katililly@reddit

Yeah, but you have to have that conversation with the dealer. Their customer doesn't mind pissing you off, but they definitely want their dealer happy!

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This_Hospital_3030@reddit

Nope, that’s stupid. Because if anything ever goes down or they ever get busted, they’re just gonna assume it’s you.

[-]

CartographerVisual24@reddit

It’s crack. You don’t understand crack do you? People do things that are horrible to get crack. Don’t reason with a crack head or a crack dealer

[-]

Movebricks@reddit

Old cop car with spotlight parked in driveway, secondary use as your secondary car so you don’t run up miles on your nice whip.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Watch me watch me 💅🏼🚓

[-]

lulufrufruu@reddit

Barbwire

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Probably doing this in the next couple days

[-]

HoustonBOFH@reddit

Find some churchy types to set up and outreach table in your drive way.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Beautiful.

[-]

missdank420247@reddit

Play a ‘mosquito’ ‘anti-loitering’ high-pitched track off YouTube on a Bluetooth speaker.,

They’ll last maybe 20 minutes until they have to get away.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

On it...

[-]

Festering-Fecal@reddit

Drop some dimes that's a easy win for the cops.

Normally I'm a stay in my lane kinda person but when there's rift raff coming in there's going to be problems for everyone.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Seriously

[-]

FormidableMistress@reddit

Put an ad on your local Facebook marketplace type social media to have people bring their dogs to shit in your yard. Crack heads will walk through the shit and into the dealers place.

While this idea didn't pan out in San Francisco, they did get scared and moved the rally. This would totally work in your case, it'd just be smelly for a couple of days.

https://www.gq.com/story/alt-right-poop

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

They poop without us having to ask. Couldn't hurt to ramp up the volume though!

[-]

Wanderlustwednesday@reddit

Unlike weed for example, crack dealers generally don’t stay that long in the same apt. I’d be inclined to just wait it out unless things escalate. Or start calling the cops over and over. Eventually they’ll deal with that so you’ll stop bugging them.

[-]

Interesting_Ad5748@reddit

? The thing about that is that you don't want the dealer to know it was you. The crackheads know it's you because you yell at them. You're annoyed that the CHs come to your property, not that dude is selling crack, right?, be careful.

[-]

Toubaboliviano@reddit

This all seems very ethical…

[-]

GirlStiletto@reddit

This!

Call the cops.

Every Time.

Get cameras so you can record who is doing it so they ahve a list of suspects.

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xikbdexhi6@reddit

Let the cops find their own crack.

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naruzopsycho@reddit

I've met cops who couldn't find their own crack with their hands cuffed behind them.

[-]

25toten@reddit

Yes, let's actively not help people that protect the community.

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rtmfb@reddit

Cops dgaf about protecting any community where crack dealers would live.

[-]

Midwestkiwi@reddit

They protect capital, not the community.

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Miserable_Smoke@reddit

I grew up with a local division under a DOJ consent decree, so when it comes to "protect the community" YMMV.

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Either_Cupcake_5396@reddit

Holy shit, I know what that means! Today’s kids will never . . .

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ctrlaltdelete285@reddit

This. I would wait it out. Retaliation from a crackhead is scary.

[-]

maxpowerAU@reddit

It’s not unethical but it’s great: play classical music

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Sir_Vey0r@reddit

Pop a few rounds into the dealer room place from random spots after sunset. They will move after a few times.

[-]

UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit

Your post or comment was removed for violating rule 8: No tips about rape, murder, suicide, or in general any tip that would violate the Geneva Convention laws.

[-]

M0RALVigilance@reddit

Are you saying to shoot up the house? Damn.

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Sir_Vey0r@reddit

He wanted unethical and boss move. I didn’t say what calibre to use. Could just break the windows, not shoot right through all the apartments. Or shoot right through the corner. So in and out, unlikely to be anyone right to the corner.

[-]

M0RALVigilance@reddit

But then you’re not just involving some patrol car, detectives are gonna investigate that and they’ll be looking for you, not the crack dealer. And all to stop junkies from shortcutting through a yard. Seems extreme to me but we’re living in extreme times, I guess.

[-]

Sir_Vey0r@reddit

How many drug dens are in areas with door cams? And those cameras aren’t very good for details. Cops can’t do much with them. Lots of ways to disguise yourself. And it might be a one off. This wasn’t a proportional response request lol.

[-]

EatAPeach2023@reddit

Buy a bunch of crack and sprinkle it all over the place. Then put up a sign that says "free crack on the ground" and wait for all the crackheads to realize there are little rocks everywhere. Dealer will move quickly

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mynameishuman42@reddit

Blast Baby Shark on repeat until they go away

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longcoat000@reddit

Signs warning that trespassers are considered armed & dangerous and trespassing is forbidden. Spend the evenings on the front porch with your friends sipping sweet tea and testing this SAT question: The A-Salt anti-fly gun is to flies as a Mossberg with rock salt shells is to crackheads.

[-]

Dragonr0se@reddit

We collected evidence, we contacted the cops, and we contacted the landlord.... when none of that did anything other than warrant a swat raid on the place behind us that didn't ultimately stop anything, we went to the landlord with all the evidence and a copy of the contract that stated that the property was a drug free zone and that was grounds for terminating a lease... told him flat out that we were pretty sure he made more money from them, so he had options. He could refund us a portion of what we had been paying (we were renting to own) so that we could move out and we wouldn't say shit to anyone, or he could live up to his contract and kick them out.... if he wanted to give us a hard way to go about it, we'd take him to court for breach of contract and whatever wlse we could throw at him. We gave him 24h to decide. He called us the next day to come pick up our check.

[-]

zombiebear91@reddit

Nice 👌🏻

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Abject-Yellow3793@reddit

Alert rival dealers to his location, tell said rivals that neighbour was talking shit and undercutting their prices

[-]

LP14255@reddit

Would you just go into Google Maps and type,

Crack dealers near me

???

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FormidableMistress@reddit

OP could tag the house as a crack house on Google Maps. Dealer may not want the attention.

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LongjumpingRespect96@reddit

I would look at Yelp reviews

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Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

I'm dying

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Abject-Yellow3793@reddit

I imagine so, or put a post on Craigslist

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takeoutboy@reddit

Play an annoying song on loop. Like, I Know a Song That gets On Everybody's Nerves, The Song That Doesn't End, Mii Lobby music, or Drive, Drive, Drive from the Impractical Jokers.

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teachthisdognewtrick@reddit

Baby shark, Barney, or similar. But now we’ve escalated to “crimes against humanity”

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TherealDaily@reddit

This whole thread had me laughing thanks for the laughs!!

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GooseNYC@reddit

Leave a couple of rakes outside. After stepping on them and getting smacked in the face a few times, the crackheads will move on.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

This is so funny

[-]

lan60000@reddit

Call local authorities and tell them there's illegal immigrants selling drugs in your neighborhood

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theflamingskull@reddit

Are you cool with the old dealer? Maybe she could tell those guys keep it down.

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chunky_lover92@reddit

Leave out some little baggies of poison crack? Non lethal of course...

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nvmenotfound@reddit

honestly just put up a sign saying i call cops on loiterers and fyi you’re on video. even if neither is true.

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JethroTheFrog@reddit

Put a trail of crack through your neighbor's driveway.

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N-Y-R-D@reddit

Sett WiFi router id to “DEA VAN 3B”

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therealfinagler@reddit

Fly a drone over them several times a day.

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Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

This is a good one!

[-]

WellsFargone@reddit

Bro you’re their neighbor they are going to see it land next door

[-]

Dailia-@reddit

Do the drone-ing from another yard?

[-]

WellsFargone@reddit

And run out of your house to go get it

[-]

Dailia-@reddit

Could he not just use the drone elsewhere and not be seen?

[-]

WellsFargone@reddit

How would you turn it on

[-]

slickrok@reddit

What? Do you think you need to be at your house to fly a drone??? 😂

Wow.

No.

[-]

Dailia-@reddit

He would be there with the drone at a different place. Turn it on, use it, and then return to the different place.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

I'm she. Do I have dude energy?? Curious lol

[-]

Dailia-@reddit

I suppose I didn’t choose which pronoun. It’s Reddit, so the default unless stated is he.

I will edit my comment :)

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Hahah it's fine, I was just curious

[-]

rtmfb@reddit

Try kissing its neck while rubbing its shoulders.

[-]

WellsFargone@reddit

Well I can’t speak for the drone but

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This_Hospital_3030@reddit

Just pay a drone guy to do it.

Or you can do it from your car, parked around the block.

[-]

xxBizzet@reddit

I promise you this will scare the living shit out of them if you consistently do it.

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Delicious-Bonus7589@reddit

Put up "Back the Blue" and police paraphernalia around your yard, so they think a cop lives there. Put up a bunch of security cameras (some real, plus a bunch of fakes ones just to make them extra paranoid.)
Fill a bunch of water balloons with piss and ambush them.
Take photos of them and make "known pedo" wanted posters. Hang them around the neighborhood.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

1) I'm on board 2) I had this idea but with the water I put my cigarette butts out in 3) Brilliant

[-]

LongjumpingRespect96@reddit

Use bong water

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420Euphoria@reddit

🤢 🤣

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

🤭🤫

[-]

ChefArtorias@reddit

Big bright light.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Already have one. Motion sensor. And I sit up on the porch with the light on. Not, like, on guard lol, when I smoke cigarettes. And I don't sleep... I'm out there at all hours. Doesn't stop them.

[-]

ChefArtorias@reddit

Maybe a laser pointer would make them think a sniper is on to them?? You'd want to not be seen pointing it, of course.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

I love the visual of this

[-]

unused_candles@reddit

Beware of Dog sign

[-]

kelmacd9@reddit

Actually get a Rottweiler

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Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Cat has objections to this idea

[-]

kelmacd9@reddit

https://i.redd.it/mpxc09f2pbaf1.gif

Time for the cat to step up then

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Instructions unclear, the cat attacked me

[-]

Icy_Huckleberry_8049@reddit

fencing

[-]

OniNoDojo@reddit

Most crackheads don’t have a sword so that wouldn’t be a fair fight.

[-]

Newjackny@reddit

But op doesn't have crack... rock beats scissors, sword is fair

[-]

humourlessIrish@reddit

Shit.. he needs that paper

[-]

Quarter_Shot@reddit

That's where the dealer comes in...he gets plenty from the people walking across OPs yard

[-]

ResolutionSame1474@reddit

Lmao 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Fucking lol

[-]

GoTeamLightningbolt@reddit

This could be good if they are trying to sell stuff to get money

[-]

Icy_Huckleberry_8049@reddit

maybe I should have just said - a fence

[-]

boardgamejoe@reddit

M80s

[-]

Seattlehepcat@reddit

Call ICE on the dealer? I mean, fuck ICE, but also fuck crackheads walking across your driveway.

[-]

Ill_Establishment406@reddit

Go on Marketplace and get those motion activated flying screamer things. Put a new one up every 2-3 days. Include fishing wire with bells and boards with tacks on the driveway.

[-]

Ursmanafiflimmyahyah@reddit

Trip wide across each side of the driveway.

[-]

madpiratebippy@reddit

Call the police and report the drug dealing. Enforcement is complaints based and having cops around will discourage them.

[-]

Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Did that, expecting ~9+ months' investigation time

[-]

Capt_Gremerica@reddit

Embrace it. Sell drugs cheaper than your neighbor

[-]

sexwiththebabysitter@reddit

And put yourself in the dealer’s crosshairs?

[-]

SonOfMotherlesssGoat@reddit

Sell baking soda cheaper than your neighbor sells drugs

[-]

Miserable_Drawer_556@reddit

Weaponized Convenience

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Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Omg

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CosmicallyF-d@reddit

Become a Spite dealer! A la Latte Larry's. Nice.

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sparesomechange20@reddit

You hear a female screaming for assistance inside apt every time..

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42ahump87@reddit

Change wifi name to something with D.E.A. In the name of it

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Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Nice!

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Bk_Punisher@reddit

Put up 100w LED flood lights 2 should do the trick.

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BaylisAscaris@reddit

Tell the police your neighbor is dealing drugs. Keep telling them until they do something. Get other neighbors to report also.

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Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

They "can't help if the person is back on the public street by the time they get there"

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BaylisAscaris@reddit

You're telling in the neighbor not the customer. They care more about dealers and users. If they raid the house they're likely to get a lot of evidence and possibly connections to suppliers.

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Arctic_Africa7305@reddit

Motion detector sprinklers.

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NovelCandid@reddit

Paint guns

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raven16342@reddit

Sign out front. This property is under police surveillance

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Scav-STALKER@reddit

Idk man, I don’t live in an apartment and have castle law with no duty to retreat and police that are very unsympathetic to drug dealers and uses, they can say hi to the work oh John Moses Browning and hopefully choose a different route

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dardeko@reddit

Maybe add some lights and cameras to make their way safer.

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andy-in-ny@reddit

Trail Cam. Make sure its got a sign. Mention weekly dumps to local PD

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soparamens@reddit

Buy an old 80's crown victoria car, paint it like a fake police car, complete with UNPD tags (united neighbors parking department) and a motion detection LED light inside. Park it in your driveway

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UncleFuzzySlippers@reddit

Line a board with bails where they walk through

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Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Bit much

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gogozrx@reddit

half measures avail us nothing

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Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

My first thought was Breaking Bad then I realized you're quoting the Big Book 😂😂😂 you're baaaad

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-Bob-Barker-@reddit

Thumbtacks then 🤗

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Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Evil!

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UncleFuzzySlippers@reddit

Its a unethical sub though

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Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

No argument there lmao

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aftcg@reddit

Nah

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chagzito@reddit

Buy cop boots and start asking them vague questions about the owner.

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Alaeriia@reddit

That seems pointless. Boots can't talk.

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Stormdrain11@reddit (OP)

Dude!!!!

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Chuffin_el@reddit

Suspicious activity keeps cops looking

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gogozrx@reddit

this sounds like a fun evening activity: jacklighting crackheads with a paintball gun

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M0RALVigilance@reddit

I’d reconsider getting into a guerrilla war with crack heads and a crack dealer. They’re unpredictable and can get violent. Crack sales carry a long sentence. Any self-respecting crack dealer needs a gun and that will just add time. Having this over their head and the fact they likely smoke rock, makes this kinda dangerous to get involved and give them a reason to focus their paranoia on you.

Hopefully, the house won’t be used like that for long.

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disco_disaster@reddit

Whenever your city is testing the siren system blast on a loud speaker, “Stop, this is the fed, you are being detained.” Or something similar.

Maybe fly a drone or two overhead.

Back in the day, unfortunately when I was and associated with tweakers, we scared the shit out of one of our fellow meth heads by doing something similar. The sirens went off and we looked at the guy and said, “They’re coming for you.”

The dude jumped out of a moving car, and we couldn’t find him for two days.

Thank god I left that life behind.

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