Do you feel disconnected from your neighbours?

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Nothing that out of the ordinary, moved in, we fought passive aggressively over a parking spot (the one nearest to our house), eventually we began blocking each other in when the other parked there, then surprisingly after we got into a fight about noise complaints, our house's car tires were slashed and the paint on the rear scratched. Now i'm not one to point fingers or name names, but it was 100% them, no questions asked.

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Comfortable-Bug1737@reddit

Same

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OptionalQuality789@reddit

I feel lonely had I have no one to talk to about the theatre, polo or museums.

Is this a shit post? Why would you expect your neighbours to have identical interests with you?

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GodAtum@reddit (OP)

When I was younger my neighbors had the same interests. As the demographic has changed now they don’t.

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OptionalQuality789@reddit

I think your experience is fairly unique. Maybe nip down to the local polo club to fill the void.

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Mr_Bumcrest@reddit

Why would you assume your neighbours would want to talk about polo with you? Not exactly a common interest.

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pip_goes_pop@reddit

I don't know, they're one of the most popular mints.

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Mr_Bumcrest@reddit

That is true

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brizzle9293@reddit

I feel lonely had I have no one to talk to about the theatre, polo or museums.’ This has got to be a wind up

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oudcedar@reddit

No. I live in a nice and mixed part of London and as old neighbours go we get to know new ones

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EFNich@reddit

I moved to an area where I am the only house surrounded by fields. Even then I have a bike lock on my gate so people can't come talk to me. The village people kept trying to get me to join a knitting circle. There was a Jehovah's witness I had to politely get to piss off. Someone came in trying to get me to buy their homemade curries.

If I had a neighbour who tried to talk to me about polo or "museums" (just all museums??) I would probably throw myself or them down a well.

Get some actual friends. Your neighbours are just people that live by you. They owe you zero interaction.

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bigdipper2018@reddit

I’m afraid Reddit is not the place to be asking these questions. Most people here are sad insular types who only live via the internet.

Im 35 and both my neighbours are 65+. Would I go out for a drink with them? Probably not. But we have good chats over the fence and we’ve helped each other out a lot with various things over the years. He’s a retired builder and helped me build my kids climbing frame. I work in IT and have helped him with his computer.

If you buy in to your community, you’ll get something in return. It’s worth it.

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TRIGMILLION@reddit

I think your assumption that I'm a sad insular type who only lives via the internet is pretty damn judgmental. I have lots of family and friends, a job and a life. I don't want to deal my neighbors. I'm out and about all day and like to come home for a break. Home to me equals I'm done with the world for the day.

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Best_Cup_883@reddit

'If you buy in to your community, you’ll get something in return. It’s worth it.' This.

I have lived here 20 years, those that chat are lovely people. We are not in each others houses 24/7. I help the elderly people with their bins, and a few of the older people help each other. It's nice to be a part of.

Some make 0 effort, fine. Personally, I prefer people who say hello, wave, or have a bit of community spirit.

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Afraid-Priority-9700@reddit

I like my current neighbours very much. Living in Army accommodation, it can be tricky and very changeable- your neighbour is either your colleague or your boss! and people move frequently. But I like our current ones, they're also a youngish couple with no kids yet, and a dog, so we have stuff in common to chat about over the fence or occasionally at the pub.

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Best_Cup_883@reddit

Where I live I know the majority of people in the next few streets. There are some I talk to every other day, they occasionally invite me in for tea or to see something new in their garden as I like gardening. I mainly talk to older people but do know a few a bit younger. The people my age 31, and older largely talk to nobody. Walk round with headphones on.

Allot of the older people talk to me. I see lots of the older men talking to each other which is nice. I almost never see the women talking to each other, the older ones do occasionally but its extremely rare.

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fleetwood_mag@reddit

Im too connected with mine. We live in a hamlet of 8 houses and everyone has dogs and weirdly divided land and gardens so you’re always bumping into someone. Sometimes I’ll bump into 4-5 neighbours on one walk and have a chat. They’re all nice, except for Alan. He’s a retired, nosy old tw*t.

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Jayatthemoment@reddit

Oh yes, me and Freda next door often catch up on the theatre, polo, and how Phil and Maureen have had their blue bin out since Tuesday.

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clbbcrg@reddit

Who tf wants to be friends with the neighbours

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bigdipper2018@reddit

Maybe try opening yourself up to new experiences and then you might not sound so miserably depressing.

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clbbcrg@reddit

I have a large social circle of people I chose to be friends with.. my neighbours are just that, they are only there by circumstance no good can come from getting too chatty with a nieghbour.. past “alrite” if I happen to see you out at the time leave me alone

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WVA1999@reddit

You sound a charmer!

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bigdipper2018@reddit

How do you know no good can come from them though? Maybe you could share experiences, advice, tools, house products?

You sound pretty insular.

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Mrwonderful-hnt@reddit

Getting too close to your neighbour rarely ends well .The less they know about you the better.

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clbbcrg@reddit

Exactly this been bitten in the past

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Rough-Sprinkles2343@reddit

Just small talk really

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anotheraccount999999@reddit

My neighbours are all lovely, very friendly and one person on our street decided to extend rather than move mostly based on the fact how nice the neighbours are! There's obviously some who aren't as chatty but they never make a load of noise, or snarl over their fences. It's a close and the kids all play outside in the street which seems to be rare nowadays. 10/10!

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StereotypicallBarbie@reddit

Lived in my home since 2006. I say “morning” to most of my neighbours.. aside from next door one one side! Purely because they are just rude, ignorant fucks who have been unfriendly since the day we moved in.. (apparently I close my kitchen cupboards too loudly) They have argued with every neighbour on this street! Mostly if people park their cars too close to theirs.. (they haven’t been out in that car for years! I’d be shocked if they could start it)

Not a single one of them leaves the house and the now adult kids mostly just stand in the front garden smoking in their dressing gowns. Haven’t seen the mother in years but I see nurses go regularly so I assume she’s poorly.

Both back and front gardens are full to the brim of crap! They hired a skip once and didn’t put a single thing in it! When they had so much junk.. and the weeds constantly grow into my garden..

I realise whilst typing this that I know way too much about my next door neighbours I don’t even speak to! And should mind my own business.

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lavayuki@reddit

Ive moved many times and never knew my neighbours when living in flats.

I now live in a house and don’t know my neighbours personally, its more of a hi and some small talk about the weather if I bump into them, but other than that I don’t know them.

The demographic is also very different, my street has a lot of elderly and families with kids. While I am single and live alone, plus am always at work, so nothing exactly in common with my neighbours to have anything other than small talk.

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No_Earth_5912@reddit

Kind of. We received a note from a house a couple of doors down with a number and a note, but we honestly couldn’t read the note. I think they wanted to make a group chat for the street. Looked up the number on WhatsApp, and it was someone we’d met at a party before.

Our mate has a profound fear of balloons - it’s fucking hilarious, but you don’t shove balloons in his face because it’s a genuine phobia. This guy was told this at the party, and kept popping balloons in his face.

Moral of the story: you never know who your neighbours will be, so be nice to everyone 😀

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evilcnut@reddit

I’ve just moved to a notoriously rough area! Probably the “roughest” in my city! Mostly because it’s much cheaper than where I was living.. the guy upstairs is pretty loud all night long and seems to sleep during the day! But otherwise he’s very friendly and always says hello. I’ve noticed since moving here when walking my dog most people nod or say “hello”

Even a gang of unfriendly looking teenagers, that hang outside the local takeaway.. all decked out in north face! Are all “aww look at that cute dog” when we walk past!

Where I was living previously everyone just ignored each other.

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GuybrushFunkwood@reddit

Well distance (just under half a mile) yes I’m fairly disconnected but in terms of relationship we currently have 150 of his sheep grazing our land and his daughters horse on our yard so I’d say fairly good.

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durkheim98@reddit

Sort of. Got a student house on the one side so it's different each year, sometimes they're cool but this year they've been snotty, middle-class dickheads.

The other side is an Iranian family, they're pretty nice and look after our parcels and vice versa.

Definitely looking to move to an area where it's less transient and people are more settled though.

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sunheadeddeity@reddit

I am very fond of our neighbours. The 79 year old widow on one side with diabetes and COPD appeared on my doorstep one day with a Sainsbury's cheesecake and similar that if we weren't here neighbours she'd have had to move into sheltered accommodation and I thought to myself " I'm not becoming your carer for the sake of an effing CHEESECAKE!"

The neighbours on the other side adopted a traumatised Romanian gremlin that never stops barking and bites everyone it can get to but the good news is that they are rehousing it after it left a pensioner needing surgery. Lovely people, just effing stupid about that dog.

We're lucky though, we have a nice street.

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FoxGranite@reddit

Yeah I feel disconnected but that's how I want it. They're friendly people and I will say hello if I cross paths with them and we take in each other's parcels everyone other month, but they aren't my mates.

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pencilthinwriter@reddit

I'm sorry that things are like this for you, and I agree that neighbours should be part of your community. Little point posting about neighbours on reddit though, I've found that most people in the UK hate their neighbours and are extremely cynical at the very mention of the word "neighbour".

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bigmustard69@reddit

My neighbours are a bunch of old people who resent me for living in their building, so I don’t feel disconnected so much as I feel like I live rent free in all their flats as well as my own.

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BillyJoeDubuluw@reddit

They’re perfectly fine. Don’t have any troublesome neighbours.

I have a little bit of brief small talk with a number of the neighbours in my close… we keep our eyes peeled for one another where needed… I’m not having any of them over for coffee and I’m not going to theirs either… it’s just not the vibe of the residence…

My childhood street was very communal and a number of the mothers had got friendly with one another over the years so that had a big influence… Communal Halloween parties and bonfire nights… Summer barbecues… Loved it at the time, truthfully not sure I could actually be arsed with it as an adult 😆

Perhaps noteworthy, I now have an Aunt on that same street and it remains quite communal, actually… so I suppose it’s still around in pockets depending on the area!

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Harrry-Otter@reddit

A bit. They’re all nice people but we don’t have loads in common with most of them. We see them occasionally for drinks and coffees and stuff.

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