Is it normal in the UK to bring a birthday cake to a restaurant and ask the staff to serve it at the end of the meal?

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Important_Yam_8628@reddit

Yes it is done in the UK. We usually ask beforehand and the staff will bring it out after the meal.

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Apprehensive-Ear5722@reddit

Yes it's the ultimate humiliation for the staff members. I refused to do this when I worked at a restaurant.

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Shinymetalpimpmobile@reddit

At my place of work, they charge £5 per person attending to cut the cake. So £50 for a group of 10, to eat the cake you’ve already bought! I think it’s bloody disgusting if I’m honest.

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I worked somewhere that didn’t allow it (under the guise of ‘someone could bring in a homemade cake that made everyone sick and blame the restaurant’ but it was basically about the loss of dessert sales) then people would still bring a cake and I’d have to present it to them and take it away and it was always dead awkward cos they would still ask to eat it. Most places are happy to esp independent places cos often birthdays are larger groups and bring in money anyway.

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811545b2-4ff7-4041@reddit

Yes it's definitely done in the UK, but it is worth phoning the restaurant ahead (not just on the day) to check that it's ok.

There are some restaurants I wouldn't do this at all, and some I would.

You'd also better tip the staff if you're planning on doing this.

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indiegirl1980@reddit

Tip them with cake! 😂 we love a wee slice of cake!

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Interesting-Ad5551@reddit

Yea if your cake comes out sliced up there’s a good chance the servers already had some 🥲

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Mossy-Mori@reddit

We had an engagement party in who had the giant Costco white cake and they left us like one third of it, it was honestly a tremendous vibe cos we love a sugar rush late shift, plus it's CAKE

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indiegirl1980@reddit

We get birthdays, anniversaries etc. They nearly always leave cake. One of our chefs has such a sweet tooth that he is in heaven and drooling when the cake goes out 😂

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Mossy-Mori@reddit

We were eyeing it up all night and when the girl brought the leftovers to the bar I couldn't believe it, would've hugged her if the cake wasn't between us 😆

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Horror_Cress_3998@reddit

Right? Surely they can’t be talking about tipping just for bringing out a cake… haha

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AdhesivenessNo6288@reddit

It's a loss of revenue if staff are tipped against the final bill. It's also a bunch of extra work running around, plus dishes to wash and might even involve a small amount of risk if they carry it out with candles etc. I always say if the staff member has to switch their brain on to do the task (as in, it's outside of what you do on the day to day automatically) then it's worth a tip!

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the_inebriati@reddit

and might even involve a small amount of risk if they carry it out with candles etc.

Are you actually being serious?

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AdhesivenessNo6288@reddit

As someone who has witnessed many a dreaded Cristingle haircut, yes, completely serious.

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Mossy-Mori@reddit

Buy everyone an individual dessert then, that's totally going to be less than a tip /s

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sv21js@reddit

Good idea, also when you call, ask them if candles are ok and remember to bring your own if they say yes.

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VerifiablyMrWonka@reddit

And certainly don't turn up with indoor fireworks pretending to be candles.

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iamnotarobotnik@reddit

Or anything involving confetti or glitter...

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Blyd@reddit

regular ones like a catherine wheel ok?

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frogssmell@reddit

Tip with cake, not money

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Mossy-Mori@reddit

I'd also like to add, please bring candles and a lighter to avoid disappointment!

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sc00022@reddit

Spot on. Been doing this for the best part of 30 years and never run into any issues. Just don’t do it at a posh place. Keep it to chains/gastropubs

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Rika_rena@reddit (OP)

!Answer

Thank you!

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Angryleghairs@reddit

I've done this loads of times. Ask beforehand. Share the cake with the staff. It's fun for everyone

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DesmondCartes@reddit

It is normal. I ran restaurants and we all hated it. It's obnoxious, wasted our time when we could be serving people and it costs us money. Just eat our dessert. I would usually tell people we don't like doing it. Imagine running around like a twat at 2030 while someone's food is going cold on the pass because some 67 year old needs a birthday cake... Good GOD I hate it.

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adeo54331@reddit

Ran restos for years, just call when you book and tell them , I have run Michelin stars and allowed people to do this. They will put in the fridge for you mostly if needed!

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Blyd@reddit

If you're bringing your own cake to a Michelin then they are slacking. Went to Ynishir for my 40th gareths team found out in advance it was a special day and served up a special plate for us.

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adeo54331@reddit

Ha, some people want their own cake mate. It’s not like it’s from marks 😂

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Blyd@reddit

If the basics of 'Service en salle' elude you at that level, then the only thing you've ever run in a Michellein is the pot line.

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batmanryder@reddit

Yeah standard

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daza666@reddit

Yes. Only time it was refused in a restaurant I’ve worked in was due to covid restrictions. Worth calling in advance for politeness’ sake or in case the restaurant is an oddball.

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NetRelative3930@reddit

Yes very much so I can’t recall any birthday dinner I’ve ever been to where a cake wasn’t brought in Bring candles and lighters thou cause some places don’t have this to hand

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Vivid-Blacksmith-122@reddit

we ordered a cake from a restaurant once. They made what we wanted and it was the best cake I've ever had in my life.

But if you want to bring one then I'd ring ahead and pay the cake equivalent of corkage. And tip if you want the waiting staff to cut and serve etc.

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Infinity_Flounder@reddit

decade bartender here. absolutely okay 90% of the time. but ringing ahead is polite. The allergens is the main concern if it needs to be stored in the kitchen, but usually theres a place that it can be put.

bring your own candles though, ones supplied are probably leftovers from a previous similar scenario.

also dont just mention this to the manager/greeter. let your server know too :)

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EmbalmedCoconut@reddit

Yes, as a chef at a locally well-regraded Ango-French fusion restaurant it wasn't a common request, but we were always happy to accommodate such a request. Yes, we absolutely judged it and made crass jokes about how our cakes and icing would be better, but we wouldn't say no. Contrary to popular opinion we in the kitchen still actually cared about making customers happy sometimes

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Lonely-Winter4095@reddit

Server here! Absolutely phone ahead and ask. They may ask for a 'cakeage' charge if you're planning on having cake in place of something from their dessert menu. They may also ask for a list of ingredients in the cake for allergy purposes. Bring your own candles just in case. And for the love of God, offer the server a slice! 🥰

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Maleficent_Public_11@reddit

*waiter/ waitress

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buttonrocketwendy@reddit

Are you trying to correct them on their own job title?

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Maleficent_Public_11@reddit

Server isn’t the word we use in the UK, so yes.

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buttonrocketwendy@reddit

Yes it is.

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Maleficent_Public_11@reddit

No it isn’t. Server is an awful Americanism. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/1i1roj4/have_we_always_called_waiters_and_waitresses/

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buttonrocketwendy@reddit

Ahh yes, a random reddit comment. The most reliable of sources.

Try this one:

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/server

server in British English (ˈsɜːvə ) noun 1. a person who serves 2. Also called: altar server mainly Roman Catholic Church a person who acts as acolyte or assists the priest at Mass 3. something that is used in serving food and drink 4. the player who serves in racket games 5. computing a computer or program that supplies data or resources to other machines on a network

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Maleficent_Public_11@reddit

Well it’s a thread of people saying ‘it’s an Americanism’.

Also, none of the definitions you’ve given are synonyms for waiter/ waitress? Server as a job title is maybe for the dinner lady at school, at a push.

Are you a Brit?

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buttonrocketwendy@reddit

"A person who serves", in this context, is absolutely synonymous with waiter or waitress.

I agree that the word was originally an Americanism - the point I've been making is that it's acceptable to use, and is used, in the UK.

And yes, I am.

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Maleficent_Public_11@reddit

‘A person who serves’ is the most generic meaning that’s been added to confirm that server is the related noun to ‘to serve’. It isn’t the job title of a waiter/ waitress in the UK. ‘We’ do not use the word in the UK.

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buttonrocketwendy@reddit

The person you originally replied to literally described their own job title as 'server'

You might not use the word server, but you dont speak for the whole of the UK.

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Maleficent_Public_11@reddit

Yes darling, so I corrected them to the word we use in the UK. Keep up.

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Mammothsherd@reddit

Ugh. What a horribly patronising comment. Let me guess, you're male, white, and over 60? Educate yourself and do better. From Male, White, 57.

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Maleficent_Public_11@reddit

No, actually. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself though.

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Mammothsherd@reddit

Im not the one showing my appalling lack of self awareness. As I said. Do better.

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Maleficent_Public_11@reddit

I mean from where I am sitting you’ve just made a sweeping generalisation about the moral quality of white men of a certain age, which is something that you should definitely do better on. It’s not particularly enlightened, certainly not as much as you seem to think you are.

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Mammothsherd@reddit

Coming from someone calling people "Darling" in a comment, I'll not take any lessons from you, thanks. I believe the majority of people who would make such a patronising comment are male, and white. If you're younger than 60, you have even less excuse for being so unaware of how you come across.

So far today (just in this thread) you've come across as patronising in mansplaining to servers what they should call their own jobs, and referring to a commenter in a way that was clearly designed to be belittling and derogatory. So maybe "from where you're sitting do some introspection, read about male privilege and toxic masculinity, and, I say again, do better.

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Maleficent_Public_11@reddit

Yeah ok babe

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buttonrocketwendy@reddit

Ok mate. You continue being confident in your ignorance. Have a good day.

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wardrobelion@reddit

Yeah. The person on you’re replying to didn’t really help themselves with that dictionary quote that’s said nothing. However, even 20 years ago when I was working in restaurants many places used the term server. I think it’s a term used more by people working in the trade than by customers.

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buttonrocketwendy@reddit

"A person who serves" was literally definition 1, not sure how the dictionary quote "said nothing"?

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6ft3dwarf@reddit

Regardless of the origin, "awful" seems like a pretty fucking hysterical value judgement to apply to a perfectly functional word. Pop a blood pressure pill, grandad.

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Mammothsherd@reddit

r/confidentlyincorrect

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buttonrocketwendy@reddit

Ahh yes. A random comment on reddit. The most reliable of sources.

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PumpkinJambo@reddit

Why?

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TJTheree@reddit

A “cakeage” charge is mental. I’d cancel a table booking for trying to charge for bringing my own fucking cake haha. Eating out usually involves spending over a hundred pounds if there’s more than 2-3 of you, like fuck am I giving over a charge to chuck a cake behind the jump

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Rika_rena@reddit (OP)

I understand but as long as it's not excessive I wouldn't mind paying for that, takes out the guess work for tips!

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Mayayayayaaa2662@reddit

Just for the record, because I’m not sure what you mean by “takes out the guess work for tips”, the cakeage fee won’t go to the server, it’ll go to the restaurant. This is not a gratuity/tip of any kind! It’s essentially a price per person to pay for plates, cutlery, washing up, and not ordering their desserts. It’ll be added to your bill and tip should be on top of the total bill

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Rika_rena@reddit (OP)

Oh good to know, thanks for the clarification!

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Mayayayayaaa2662@reddit

Thank you for wanting to take good care of the wait staff!

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ikariw@reddit

Presumably the restaurant is providing plates to eat the cake off, cutlery to eat it with, clearing up any mess and losing out on the fact you're not buying desserts. It's perfectly reasonable for them to charge.

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TJTheree@reddit

Idk, feels like that’s what the service charge is for, but I take your point. I always tip well anyhow so I guess it’s never really been a problem

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AdhesivenessNo6288@reddit

Service charge is a percentage off the bill which now includes a cakes less money.....

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Kimboleigh66@reddit

Absolutely this, we always get a massive Costco cake and cut it in half for the staff to have!

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Finxax@reddit

It’s perfectly normal here.

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TheAlbertBrennerman@reddit

With respect why tip generously. They get paid a wage and you'll have paid the restaurant for meal and drinks.

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Rika_rena@reddit (OP)

I know, and I don't tip all the time, only when the service and food has been excellent. In this case, as a thank you for accommodating the request, if they do :)

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No_Job_515@reddit

Yes :) I worked in kitchens alot and this was always a thing in all level of places as well , the staff would have no issue with doing this ever .

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MrsValentine@reddit

I’ve always done this and have never checked in advance with the restaurant. It’s always been fine. In fact they usually do the coming out with candles lit and making the whole restaurant sing happy birthday thing.

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Ambitious-Act-9788@reddit

We did that with our wedding cake.

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buy_me_a_pint@reddit

When it was my 40th, we went to the pub, I still had a cake which was presented to me , we cut the cake so we could take it home

The reason for this was there was a function on the same evening,

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LauraPa1mer@reddit

This seems tacky af. I would never do this.

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TreadheadS@reddit

No need to "tip", we don't do that here

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Rika_rena@reddit (OP)

I know but since this is something extra that we're asking, I don't mind showing some appreciation for the trouble :)

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CountryMouse359@reddit

Tipping isn't required, but it is still appreciated for good service. It certainly isn't required if a service charge is added to the bill, as these are counted as tips under the Employment (Allocation of Tips) Act 2023.

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Cakehangers@reddit

Someone did this for me once. It was a bit dry, but she hadn't made a cake before and she did three attempts on this one so I wouldn't have cared if it tasted like polyfilla. Greedy man at next table asks for a piece. Oh greedy man, you were a bit greedy and now you don't like what you've got do you. That's right, leave half of it and then slink away. Happy birthday!

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Whollie@reddit

It's pretty normal but absolutely ask first to be polite. Ideally before you arrive or on arrival.

Do's

Bring your own candles, point out the recipient if it's not clear and let us know when you want it. We'd love a slice too! Also herd the family - no popping out for a fag or going to the loo when the cake is due.

Don't

Bring anything other than candles. Indoor sparklers can set off the fire alarm which shuts the kitchen down. Don't bring anything with glitter or sprinkles for the table - they stain really badly and glitter is craft herpes.

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Rika_rena@reddit (OP)

Craft herpes? Lol I wasn't planning on bringing anything other than regular candles haha. That you for your response!

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External_Violinist94@reddit

Yes, I was a chef for 15 years and it's perfectly normal, we did then every weekend.

Just make sure you let the restaurant know you will be bringing a cake and for gods sake don't use those bloody sparkler candles, they're a pain in the arse to light so by the time we have lit the last one the first one has gone out and none will be alight by the time the cake gets to your table.

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Rika_rena@reddit (OP)

Just normal candles, noted!

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Intruder313@reddit

It happens quite often I find, but I'd check with the restaurant first as some will send EVERYONE out to even sing 'Happy Birthday' and some won't have the capacity!

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Rika_rena@reddit (OP)

I wouldn't ask them to sing! Haha

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Giraffesaremyjam@reddit

We went to a local Turkish restaurant for my Niece’s 21st. They sat us in front of the open kitchen window and when they brought out the cake all the kitchen staff lined up to sing happy birthday and were banging pots and pans! It was great but my niece was mortified haha

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Massive-Machine4049@reddit

Yes but check first

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palindromedev@reddit

Yes it's perfectly normal if there are allergies or dietary requirements.

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Historical-Rise-1156@reddit

My 21st birthday dinner was at a restaurant, I had arranged a cake (I worked in a London kitchen) so it was transported by train to my parents and they arranged it with the restaurant to bring it out as dessert. Sadly I don’t have any pictures of that night any more, but the memories are strong

Definitely ask to do so with the restaurant and most of the time it is permitted

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zambezisa@reddit

Yes perfectly normal, but they should tell you in advance as a courtesy when booking and always good to ask if special occasion.

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FancyMigrant@reddit

This is one of those occasions that is awkwardly uncomfortable for all involved, including the other poor saps in the restaurant who just came out for a nice meal.

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txteva@reddit

It happens fairly often - generally if its a big group of people and only after asking the restaurant in advance.

But don't be surprised if they say no for H&S reasons (or simply want to sell you dessert reasons).

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glasstumblet@reddit

As long as that restaurant doesn't serve birthday cakes they usually don't have an issue.

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Repulsive-Place8222@reddit

It's not common, but many restaurants might be okay with it if you ask.

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MoreUnderstanding745@reddit

Yes this is totally normal, I tip the waitress and they bring out the lite cake

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Complex-Winter8687@reddit

Also I would just see about allergies. For example if it's a nut free kitchen then they won't want any cakes with nuts in there

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DifficultConcept9832@reddit

Annoyingly yes it seems to be the thing to do, at least in my family, usually with the staff singing you happy birthday. The restaurants don't seem to mind though.

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Nice_Put4300@reddit

No it isn’t

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No_Art_1977@reddit

We did this recently- staff brought out the cake with candles and then brought out some free ice cream too!

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CountryMouse359@reddit

It's not common (maybe it's more popular at restaurants that are more child friendly?) but it's not unheard of.

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SlickAstley_@reddit

This is fair game, but its got to be a posh cake.

28 Adsa Price Muffins with candles in looks like you're just out to doss in their establishment

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Roper1537@reddit

please tell me that restaurants refer to any charge for this as 'cakeage'

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SnooDonuts6494@reddit

Ask the restaurant.

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SirTallTree_88@reddit

Yes, it is done regularly. As others have said check with the restaurant, ideally when you book the reservation, and again it’s ideal if you can drop the cake off before the intended recipient arrives. Additionally please make sure you tip the staff.

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Strong_Roll5639@reddit

Yep! We did this last weekend for my Aunt's birthday. We always ask ahead and they're always happy.

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seriousrikk@reddit

Can’t say I’ve seen it before.

Some may be fine with it, some may not, be a shame to rock up on the day and be turned down.

I would speak to the restaurant ahead of the day to arrange this.

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wildOldcheesecake@reddit

Really? I did a brief stint at bills during my student years and it was very common

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takesthebiscuit@reddit

We did this, but the cost was the same as getting a cake from the restaurant (plus we had to buy the cake)

So we went with the restaurant one

For my wedding we had a hotel and just had the cake (that I made myself) in the rear of the hotel bar with teas coffees and drinks bought from the bar

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CFDennett1@reddit

This happens every time with my family, and we still order desserts. None of us are swapping a slice of birthday cake for a creme brûlée.

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Professional_Lie5100@reddit

When I used to run a restaurant, I didn’t know the first thing about any norms or restaurant culture and I just took it on as a whim. I remember this lady asking me if she could bring us a cake and have my staff sing happy birthday for her son and I thought it was the most offensive thing I spent near 20 minutes just berating her and insulting her.

It wasn’t until after that I was told it’s a fairly standard request.

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WoodyManic@reddit

It's not uncommon, but when I ran kitchens I wouldn't allow it due to concerns about cross contamination.

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Ornery-Woodpecker214@reddit

Yes, I worked in restaurants from 14-19 and this was totally normal.

Not every restaurant will do this due to the fact you can’t monitor what allergens are in the cake, other health and safety risks, lack of space or staff but if you ask politely many restaurants will be happy to do so

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lavayuki@reddit

Completely normal. Ive done this many times

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ShutItYouSlice@reddit

There isnt a problem with this even the others in the restaurant will join in singing happy birthday Source: its what we do 🎂🎶🎉😋

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Ceejayncl@reddit

Yes, most restaurants will do this, however some, especially those that offer similar cakes may not be willing to do this. If given plenty of notice, some restaurants may even make or source a cake for you.

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IPoisonedThePizza@reddit

I live in the UK but I am not British.

My family is made up of four people (rest of family is abroad for both me and my wife's sides) therefore home bdays are the norm for us.

In few occasions we celebrated in restaurants with visiting family and friends and brought a store bought cake or a homemade one.

I told them beforehand if I could take it when I booked the table.

I was always given permission.

Staff served the cake with no problem and we normally left them a decent tip and some cake as a thank you

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ukbot-nicolabot@reddit

OP marked this as the best answer, given by /u/811545b2-4ff7-4041.

Yes it's definitely done in the UK, but it is worth phoning the restaurant ahead (not just on the day) to check that it's ok.

There are some restaurants I wouldn't do this at all, and some I would.

You'd also better tip the staff if you're planning on doing this.

^(What is this?)

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Prestigious_Chip_707@reddit

Yep the total norm in the UK! Although you may still be expected to order dessert….

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AmphibianNo8598@reddit

Yeah we do it, there are some weirdo restaurants that would try to charge you for it though

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No-Beat8505@reddit

Don't be the person who whips out a cake and starts singing then high tails out before anyone can question it 😂

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Boldboy72@reddit

it would be normal to ask the restaurant first. They may be happy to do it for you if they don't have cake to hand.

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Active-Hotel1719@reddit

For a child/younger person yes as long you check with the place before there usually quite accommodating to it but for an adult I would say no I wouldn’t want it or expect it in that setting really

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BillyJoeDubuluw@reddit

There will likely be a service charge but the request in itself is not at all unusual in most venues.

If it’s a particularly high end restaurant I truthfully wouldn’t go down that route and would instead use their dessert menu one way or the other… but that’s just me… lots of people have birthday cakes brought out in various pubs and restaurants…

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Silvagadron@reddit

I remember it being done at children's birthday parties decades ago but haven't seen it with adults tbh. Some higher-end restaurants may charge -- and it really is a thing -- a "cakeage fee" (much like a corkage fee for BYOB).

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ProfessorYaffle1@reddit

It's not uncommon but you need to ask in advance - some will do it, some won't. Some have a 'no outside food' rule that will apply to something like cake.

They may charge a fee since they will still have to serve it, clear up etc .

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Ultimate_os@reddit

Most places would accomodate that request, but expect to pay a 'cakeage' fee. Ask when you make the booking, do not just show up with a cake.

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djashjones@reddit

Tom Jones.

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solve_et_coagula13@reddit

It’s usually only done for birthdays but then it’s fine

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Straight-Two-9750@reddit

yeah this is done all the time, its great as well watching the person whos birthday it is, pretend they dont want the attention and wernt expecting it even though it happens every year!

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KawaiiBunBun097@reddit

If you ask and let them know in advance, they often would let you and even offer to store it for you. They may take a fee, but they do provide the necessary crockery and cutlery.

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Mettle34@reddit

We’ve done it before. I’m sure you’ll be paying a pretty penny for the meal and drinks of everyone combined. The least they can do is bring a cake out for you.

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G30fff@reddit

on the other hand, if you're just ordering water and some starters to share, then gorging on the cake you brought yourself, that's not cricket.

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GuyOnTheInterweb@reddit

Yes, happens alot, specially as restaurants don't normally bake cakes and are happy to get a reservation of 12 celebratory guests

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Chimpy20@reddit

If it's what I would call a "family" restaurant, then it's very common especially for kid's birthdays. But for a more adult restaurant it would very much be a no-no. It also depends on the part of the country. My in-laws live in Merseyside and I see it all the time there, but from where I live in Warwickshire I've never seen it happen.

I would check with the restaurant.

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