What do I do?
Posted by Consistent_Rough_498@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 55 comments
Hi everyone, I’m new to the country and currently staying as a guest at someone’s house while they’re out of town. I’ll be leaving in a few days and was wondering what the general custom is here. Should I wash and remake the bed with the sheets and pillowcases I used, just strip the bed and leave them, or ask the host what they’d prefer? I’d really appreciate any advice. Thank you!
ReflectionPossible11@reddit
I would say leave it how you found it. Change the bedding, wash and dry any linens you used, do some light cleaning and take out the trash. By a small bouquet as a thank you (that’s just what I would do, you don’t have to do the flower part).
Snezzy_9245@reddit
You would be welcome to stay at my place. We have had good guests and bad ones. A bad guest comes home drunk and throws up all over the carpet. Good guests leave everything better than before. We've also had thieves. Grandma's heirloom silver spoon? Gone!
Responsible_Side8131@reddit
Ask the host what they prefer.
If I’m the host, I will want to wash the linens my way, I don’t care if you strip the bed or not.
In regard to other things, if the host is not present, I’d definitely take out the trash to the outside bin. And I’d wash any dishes that I used.
D3moknight@reddit
Just ask them what they want you to do with bedding. When guests stay at my house, I like to wash the bedding myself after they leave so they don't have to worry about how to do my laundry rituals.
The_Menu_Guy@reddit
Definitely wash and dry everything you used, and leave it in exactly the same condition in which you found it. That is just basic courtesy.
Floater439@reddit
Ask the host; they may have a finicky washer or just prefer to do it themselves regardless. But you should pick up after yourself, do a wipe down with a wet paper towel on surfaces you used, take the trash out when you go, that sort of thing.
theassassin19@reddit
Ask the host. Depending on where their washer and dryer is, as well as their linen closet, they'd probably prefer to bring the new sheets to you while the others wash to prevent any snooping/misunderstandings.
Red_Beard_Rising@reddit
They are letting him stay there while they are out of town. If OP was going to snoop, s/he had unlimited opportunities prior to this. I doubt it's a concern.
DisastrousCap1431@reddit
You'd be shocked at the number of people running around with no mattress or pillow protectors. It's not snooping, but the state of the mattress may be something the host doesn't want to share.
srslytho1979@reddit
I’d strip the bed. I’d also leave a small gift and a thank you note.
idkmybffdee@reddit
Best just ask if there's anything they'd like you to do before you leave if they didn't mention it. I usually just tell people not to worry about it and tidy up after they leave, most of the time if I'm staying with someone if they want something specific done they'll mention it though, like throwing the sheets somewhere specific or something, otherwise I ask and they say "I'll get it later".
themadhatterwasright@reddit
I agree with ask the host about the bedding and do general clean-up (including bathroom). In addition, if you ate their food, don't forget to replace it. Notice which type of milk they drink, what size eggs, etc. and do a quick shop so they're not coming home to an empty fridge.
Bright_Ices@reddit
But if they told you to help yourself to the food, there’s no need to do that.
procrasstinating@reddit
Ask the host. We can go long periods between guest visits. I wash the sheets before they arrive even if clean sheets have sat for a while. Guests stripping the bed just means I have to wash them twice.
RandomPaw@reddit
When guests have asked me I have told them not to strip the bed. I prefer to do it myself but I appreciate them asking. But I wouldn't really want them stripping the bed without asking and definitely not washing the sheets.
Imateepeeimawigwam@reddit
I can see that the general consensus is to ask the host. For me personally, if it's a quick visit (like a week or two or less), I like my guest to feel pampered. I expect them to do nothing. If they end up helping with the dishes or something thats fine. But doing my laundry would make me feel uncomfortable. If they're staying longer than that, I expect them to act like roommates. That means doing everything. Do your own laundry, wash your own dishes. Even helping out with vacuuming, dusting, etc.
Mental-Paramedic9790@reddit
I usually ask the host if they would like me to strip the bed.
xeroxchick@reddit
I would ask. They might have a cleaner, and in that case you leave the bed and leave a tip for the extra work.
Nancy6651@reddit
The couple of houses where I've stayed, I KNOW washing the sheets and re-making the bed is appreciated. Once I house-and-pet-sitted for 3 weeks. I did the sheets (I was sleeping in the master), mopped the floors, vacuumed any rugs, went over the master bath and powder room.
When my friends came home, she said "you've cleaned my house!" I said "I've been living here for 3 weeks, just cleaning up after myself."
But in these cases I knew the people well, and knew coming home to clean sheets would be a happy thing.
Red_Beard_Rising@reddit
Depends if you are house sitting or a house guest. House sitting, wash them. House guests, might depend on the relationship. I don't do this with my parents, nor do they when they stay here. If I ever stayed at a friends place, I doubt they would expect it. If I asked they'd probably tell me Don't worry about it, or to strip it and leave it in the laundry room.
Live_Badger7941@reddit
Strip the bed and leave the sheets on the floor.
If you wash the sheets and remake the bed, they'll probably assume you just remade the bed without washing them.
Tommy_Wisseau_burner@reddit
I’m assuming this is an Airbnb in which case they’ll most likely clean it. Usually they leave instructions. If no instructions can be found maybe ask, otherwise don’t worry about it imo
TreeOfLife36@reddit
You ask what they'd prefer, and then do it. Different hosts want different things. I doubt they'll want you to wash it though; that's invasive. Usually it's a choice between stripping the sheets for them, or making the bed.
Be sure to get them a gift btw. Doesn't have to be expensive, just a token of your appreciation.
Also, you didn't ask but be sure the toilet you used is clean--this is an under-discussed aspect of being a guest.
Maronita2025@reddit
Or if not a gift take them out to a sit down restaurant for a meal.
Bluemonogi@reddit
I would just ask what they would like you to do.
If I had a guest I would not really want them to wash the bedding. If they make the bed or strip everything off that is fine. I wouldn’t be offended if they washed things but really would prefer to do it myself my way.
BeerWench13TheOrig@reddit
I’d recommend washing the sheets according to the manufacturer’s label, then putting them back on the mattress, or folded and clean on top of the mattress (wherever they were when you arrived). I’ve found that leaving the place exactly as you found it, or cleaner, is the way to show your appreciation for their trust in you as a houseguest/housesitter.
andmen2015@reddit
On the bedding I would ask. In my home I prefer to wash the sheets right before guests stay in the guest room. They’ll smell fresh and clean. Keeping the sheets on keeps dust from settling on the mattress.
shoez_pearlz@reddit
Rearrange the furniture
languagelover17@reddit
Ask the host! Kind of depends on what their pace of life is.
Cold-Call-8374@reddit
Definitely ask your host. If you were at a hotel, you'd just leave it as is, and maybe put your used towels in the tub. But in a private home it'll be up to the host's preference. If it were my house and you offered to strip the bed, I might take you up on it if it was laundry day, but otherwise I'd have you just leave it.
Hope you had a nice time here!
docfarnsworth@reddit
Definitely ask the host.
StevInPitt@reddit
If you've been given permission to use the laundry room, I'd wash the linens and leave them folded on the bed. if it is the only bed, I'd re-make it with fresh linens (if you were shown where they are) so making the bed to go to sleep isn't going to be the first task they must do upon returning home from travel.
Otherwise strip the bed, and leave them in the hamper and re-make the bed as above or leave it bare if you don't have access to fresh linens
Graflex01867@reddit
Ask the host what they want.
If I invite you to my house as a guest, I’m not expecting you to wash your own sheets and make the bed - you’re my guest! I can make a bed and do a load f laundry, it’s not that much work. (And my basement is very disorganized, I don’t need you wandering around down there getting to the washing machine and dryer.)
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
Ask the host but DO be sure to leave a clean kitchen and bathroom and take out all the garbages!
smokiechick@reddit
If you have been doing your own laundry in their home, you could run the linens through the wash, fold them and leave them on the bed. That would be pretty safe. But if you haven't been doing laundry there, strip the bed and ask if they would like you to wash them. If they are particular, just a tidy pile of linens on the bed or in the laundry room is fine. If you were sleeping in their bed, and they've been traveling, offer to remake the bed so they can just fall into their clean comfy bed when they get home without having to think about it.
A quick clean of the bathroom (check the mirror for spots) and kitchen, and a once over of the floors would be appreciated. If flowers might wilt before they come back, another Thank You token wouldn't be out of line. A bottle of wine, a bag of good coffee, a box of chocolates, or just an honest note of gratitude would be fine.
My SIL stayed with us for a while and she did tidy before she left, but the bottle of wine and note made finding her random 17' long hairs everywhere for months slightly more funny than frustrating. It was almost like acknowledging that her presence 24/7 upset the routines and she was apologizing. Your friend not being there doesn't upset routines, but some people are weird about their spaces, so acknowledging their generosity would be a nice thing to do.
Angsty_Potatos@reddit
I try to leave things as I found them, I'd ask the host what they would prefer about linens and towels.
WhompTrucker@reddit
I like doing the laundry and stuff but a clean kitchen is always appreciated. At least just putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher and wipe counters off
Pitiful_Bunch_2290@reddit
Definitely ask! They'll appreciate even the offer to clean up, even if they say to leave it.
evil_burrito@reddit
Ask your host about the bedding.
Do a light cleaning before you go. Make sure the kitchen is clean and dishes put away. A quick vacuum would be nice.
JakeTheeStallion@reddit
“Who the hell shit on my floor???”
gogozrx@reddit
Shit on the floor, then turn on the Roomba
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Saltpork545@reddit
Ask the host.
Different people will have different answers depending on the person, their situation and how long you're house sitting.
Extension_Camel_3844@reddit
I would ask the host what their preference is. Make sure you've cleaned up after yourself and don't leave anything in the sink, empty the trash, leave a note of Thanks/Appreciation.
RNH213PDX@reddit
Ask the host!!! There is no American custom here one way or the other, but asking is an international sign of respect from a good house guest. Also, unless you are providing services yourself (watching their pets / kids), leave a gift.
Katskit89@reddit
Ask the host what they prefer. It also doesn’t hurt to offer to offer to wash the sheets and stuff.
MoonieNine@reddit
Strip the bed, put stuff in laundry room. (I wouldn't launder them unless you get instructions. People can be particular.) Even if they have a cleaner coming or they said they'll clean, you clean anyway. Kitchen, bathroom, floors. Leave a vase of flowers or something as a thank you.
Puukkot@reddit
I would tell the host I was planning to strip the bed (thus indicating that I am trying to be helpful), and then ask whether they’d like me to wash the bedding, as well (thus allowing them to spare me the effort if they’re particular about how their bedding is handled, or to give me the go-ahead if they’d appreciate the help).
Obviously, I’d clean up in general as a baseline courtesy.
revengeappendage@reddit
Ask the host, but definitely clean the house up generally and leave it cleaner than when you arrived.
Argo505@reddit
I'd strip the sheets, but asking the host wouldn't be out of line at all and you should feel free to do so. Some people can get pretty particular about bedsheets and might prefer to just wash them themselves.
umplin@reddit
Yes, it’s good manners to ask the host!
Phil_ODendron@reddit
I would leave the room neat and tidy and the bed unmade (assumption being that the host will launder the sheets anyway.) I would not expect a guest to strip the bed, and certainly not to wash the sheets. As long as the room is otherwise tidy, you're fine!
IM_OSCAR_dot_com@reddit
Definitely ask your host.
stolenfires@reddit
Ask the hosts, some people have preferences for laundry or how they make a bed.
DebutsPal@reddit
Definitely strip the sheets at minimum. If the host will be staying in the bed when she first returns it'd be great if you washed remade the bed, but make sure to let her know you did so.