[-]

Busy-Objective9718@reddit

Happened to me, just say no.

For me she just asked to go to the train station, I dont mind, I live near one and she said she normally gets a taxi, bus or train and doesnt mind paying £20 for each journey there and back.

My issue was she started being overly nice, flattery, compliments that weren't even true, talking about my life as though we didnt just meet 5 mins ago, and the worse bit... sat next to me on my break on night shift!! I went outside to get away and she followed.... like wtf is wrong with you????

Everyone who works 12 hour nights knows that.... lunch is for leave me tf alone. She was on the phone the her mates and kept talking to me, I just got up to leave.

I gave her the lift ONCE and what was supposed to me a 15 min ride home for me turned into a 45 min ride!

The cheap weirdo couldn't even offer me £5 diesel like what!!!! Ppl like this are the reason ppl like us dont give lifts

[-]

BrickAskew@reddit

This seems a bit harsh to me. It’s a 7 minute journey once a week to help out an older colleague and you don’t have to go out of your way. You might even enjoy her company for those 7 minutes.

[-]

Mean-Yesterday3755@reddit

I could kil you and that would just take 7 min too doesnt mean thats a good thing to do is it.

[-]

LooselyBasedOnGod@reddit

7 mins?! I missed that bit haha. Good lord

[-]

midlifecrisisAJM@reddit

I'd be fine with an agreement where I got a contribution to fuel costs.

How long is your commute?

Don't see what age has to do with anything.

If you don't want to do it, just say, "I'd rather not."

[-]

Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

I brought up her age because, apart from work-related matters, we don’t really have anything in common, and I’d rather not spend my personal time with people I don’t feel a connection with. I suppose it’s just how I am I keep my circle quite small, and she’s simply not someone I’d include in

[-]

midlifecrisisAJM@reddit

Age has little do dowith connection, in my experience.

I have connected to people a lot older and a lot younger than me. From a 94 yo who I visited in a nursing home as a boy scout - we discovered we picked blackberries from the same place 80 years apart - to friends of my children.

Age is just a number.

[-]

Illustrious_Study_30@reddit

I can't believe you're expending all this energy just to get out of giving someone a lift when it literally costs you 7 minutes of your time. It would certainly help her out .

I actually think you're completely and utterly selfish and I'd just give her a lift because it's nice to be nice. It takes all sorts of things to make up society , and bending a little and being kind is one of those things.

As you can't even handle a few minutes of discomfort because it disrupts your precious alone time I'd suggest you never have expectations of anyone helping you.

[-]

Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

I do not ask people for lifts, never have. If I ever need anything, I provide for myself, I can rely on my family and friends, not a random coworker I just meet last month.

[-]

Illustrious_Study_30@reddit

I didn't say you did. Just be sure not to ask anyone for anything else. ...no one owes you a thing now. You've sidelined yourself and that's fine. Life will sort you out.

[-]

Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

Not sure why you’re so worked up about something that doesn’t even affect your life. I couldn’t care less how someone on the same wage as me gets to work, it’s got nothing to do with me. I don’t owe anyone a thing, and I’m not a taxi service. I’d rather park somewhere else and walk than feel uncomfortable in my own car something I bought to make my life easier and more comfortable. That’s that. I’ve heard the opinions I needed, and anything else doesn’t affect me or how I choose to live my life. You have a lovely evening

[-]

Illustrious_Study_30@reddit

Ok selfish.

Whatever you feel you need to do to get by.

I'll continue marvelling at how selfish and out of touch some people are.

Remember, don't ever ask anyone a favour.

[-]

LooselyBasedOnGod@reddit

7 mins a week bro. That’s a cheap act of kindness.

[-]

beachyfeet@reddit

This is the second 'i don't want to give lifts to a co-worker' post that's popped up on a UK sub today. I love my personal space but my commute to work isn't a place I care about keeping sacrosanct. Making friends and getting on good terms with co-workers (especially in a new city) is a good thing. If it turns out she's a pita later on, that's when you use all the excuses given here to get rid. I don't see why the age difference is relevant at all - would you think badly of a person who helped your mum or grandma out?

[-]

Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

I mean, excuse me for being young and actually wanting to enjoy my Friday night with some loud music and a snack run in my own car after work. Clearly, that’s outrageous behaviour. How selfish of me not to instantly turn into someone’s designated taxi service instead

[-]

Down-Right-Mystical@reddit

Well that is what you say to her, then.

"Sorry, but I like to play my music loud on my drive home, also I always stop to get some snacks, I don't drive straight home."

Just be honest about it.

[-]

beachyfeet@reddit

Indeed.

[-]

thefooleryoftom@reddit

“No thanks, I really value my own personal space”.

[-]

Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

I do, so I will definitely say that to her next time

[-]

thefooleryoftom@reddit

Exactly. No need to explain further or get into a debate.

[-]

Mind_if_I_do_uh_J@reddit

Maybe prefix it with: please don't take this the wrong way/it's not you etc. if you don't want to give the the wrong impression.

Or, just shout across the office that you need space /jk

[-]

thefooleryoftom@reddit

This just complicates things and sounds like a you’re having to apologise for not doing something they should- it sounds like this person needs telling what’s happening. “Sorry, no” is fine.

[-]

Mind_if_I_do_uh_J@reddit

Sorry, no.

[-]

thefooleryoftom@reddit

You’re getting it!

[-]

Mind_if_I_do_uh_J@reddit

In time I shall master this legendary British passive-aggressiveness.

[-]

thefooleryoftom@reddit

I doubt it.

[-]

SparkyCorkers@reddit

This is weird. 2 posts up from this one. Simalr thing going on https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/s/mDlkvSK5ap

[-]

Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

Oh didn’t see the post, thanks for the link

[-]

SparkyCorkers@reddit

It wasn't a dig, just thought it was a funny coincidence 😄

[-]

AnxiousAppointment70@reddit

You don't say whether she has a car or uses public transport or walks to and from work. It's a short journey for you. It's really not such a big deal to give someone a 7 minute lift. You could car share, ie take turns and both save fuel. If she's on PT or walks you could ask her for a small amount towards fuel. You could offer to give her a lift on certain days. If it's only Fridays she's asking for, again, why is it a problem? Try having a community minded attitude. One day you might need to ask for something.

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Fluffy_Register_8480@reddit

I mean. I’m in that lady’s position, with two different coworkers living close to me. It’s a 25 minute drive home for them, it takes me over an hour on public transport. I don’t hint for lifts, and they’ve never offered. It’s all good.

It just means if they ever need a favour from me, I’m never, ever available. 😆

[-]

Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

But do you go on about having a car you don't want to drive because you might not find parking? Because the lady has a car she can use, she was always walking before I started this job, she does not do me any favours, I am new at work and I did not get any help from her. I do not ask for her help either, everyone has a car at work, there is another co-worked on shift on Friday she can drop her off, but she said absolutely not.

[-]

Fluffy_Register_8480@reddit

Well if she already has a car, what’s the issue? Let her drive her car.

[-]

EntryCapital6728@reddit

Do you both finish at the same time? Do you go straight home?

I dunno, if shes willing to kick in some fuel. You've probably not been driving long, fuel / insurance / maintenance must be running you.

I know you like your space and im sure people are going to disagree with me and I can see it from your point of view but honestly you come off kind of inconsiderate.

Its going to cost you nothing if you're just driving home every day but to a 60 year old woman it might mean the world in time and company.

[-]

Cheese-n-Opinion@reddit

There's no way to do this non-awkwardly because it's inherently awkward to be so averse to helping out a 60 year old colleague in a way that causes you no real additional stress. You could even ask to split petrol money and benefit from it.

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Mental-Risk6949@reddit

60 year olds should be exercising. It is one of the main pieces of medical advice, for people of any age, but especially the aging. By not giving her a lift, OP is doing her a favour.

[-]

Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

Of course you don’t understand it because you’re not seeing it from my point of view and you’re not in my position, In case you missed it, she’s got a car and she can drive herself if she wants to but she doesn’t want to

[-]

Cheese-n-Opinion@reddit

I didn't miss it, you didn't mention that in your post.

If she has a car and is simply choosing not to drive that changes things, and I would mention that to her. I think it's odd you didn't mention that out the gate though...

Seeing things from your POV doesn't mean agreeing with you implicitly.

[-]

Bananasincustard@reddit

I'm gonna devils advocate but if you're going that way anyway, just give the poor lady a lift once a week on those Fridays only. She's 60 years old and it's not that much of a hassle for you but I bet it's a massive help to her. Though how you get away with just doing it once a week without her expecting it to be all the time might be a difficult situation hah

[-]

lonelydata@reddit

Maybe she should just move in then whilst he’s at it? Be a little easier.

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WarDry1480@reddit

Really? Pillock.

[-]

CalligrapherShort121@reddit

Tbf - I had skipped over her age and that makes me a little more sympathetic.

[-]

Due_Ant7999@reddit

Yeah I agree mate, if she lives near ya what's the problem, only 1 road off

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colin_staples@reddit

Sorry I’m not going home, I’m going straight from work to meet friends who live in the opposite direction.

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Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

To be honest, I’ve been doing this for the past 3 weeks every Friday, and yesterday I told her I was heading out. She goes, “So you’re not going home to change first? I always do that before going out.’ I was just like, ‘Erm, no”

[-]

Marcellus_Crowe@reddit

Oh boy, if someone said that to me I wouldn't even respond and id probably permanently ignore them for the rest of their life.

[-]

StrangeKittehBoops@reddit

No, I'm going swimming / gym / significant other and have clothes with me, and I will get showered and changed at the gym.

[-]

colin_staples@reddit

“I’ve got a set of clothes in my car, I’ll change when I get to my mate’s house”

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Elspeth73@reddit

Or you’re going via the supermarket to do your weekly shop, or going to the gym or bookstore or dentist, anywhere that means a detour she can’t tag along to

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RodeoBoss66@reddit

Just say “No, you old hag! I’m not giving you a lift anymore! Get your own bloody car! I’m not a taxi!”

Guaranteed you will never be bothered with hints about a lift ever again. She might even stop speaking to you entirely, and really, that’s what you want, isn’t it?

If she cries, don’t be shocked.

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Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

To be honest, she only ever speaks to me about an hour before we finish, so I wouldn’t really mind if she didn’t talk to me at all.

[-]

RodeoBoss66@reddit

Okay, well, if she’s not someone you interact with on the job routinely anyway…. I still think you’re being petty, but go ahead and tell her you really would rather she just rely on her own methods of getting to and from work. Be gentle, though. No need to make the old girl feel bad. You don’t want people at work staring at you and knowing that you made an old woman cry. Be apologetic and maybe even cry yourself out of pretend guilt.

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Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

I'll just say this : Sorry I traumatised you by not offering a lift to the place you were already going anyway before I joined last month

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RodeoBoss66@reddit

That’s a bit snarky and kinda obviously insincere. I would work on being a bit nicer about it. I’m sure she’ll understand, but there’s no need to be unkind about doing this.

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Dear-Kiwi-4711@reddit

Things are already awkward for you by the sound of it. Don't worry about her feelings, just say no. There's no need to try making excuses.

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Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

Thank you!!!!

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shanghai-blonde@reddit

My opinion is going to be unpopular but I feel really sad for her. She’s older and lonely. I would never drive her in the morning because that’s too much of a burden but when you’re leaving at the same time one day a week and it’s a seven minute drive….. gosh, poor lady.

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Life-Bedroom-8886@reddit

If you’re right that she’s lonely, there’ll be a reason for it.

Lonely people have made choices.

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shanghai-blonde@reddit

I think it’s quite lonely to be an older person in the uk in general. We are not a society that cares about or respects the elderly and it’s sad. Anyway I knew my comment would be unpopular for that reason so not surprised you disagree

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Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

Honestly I understand, I can guarantee you in this situation this isn’t the case, she isn’t your typical lonely person. She’s got family to look after her. I’ve got my own family to look after. I only just started this job last month, I’ve got my own things to worry about other than her and how she gets home honestly

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shanghai-blonde@reddit

Yeah I understand and that’s totally your choice. I just feel sorry for her and I do think the way British society treats older people is sad.

[-]

cregamon@reddit

I’d say something like:

“Yeah of course you can have a lift. I usually go to the local dogging spot on a Friday but you’d be very welcome to join us all as it will help balance out the cock to snatch ratio. Meet you at reception at 5:30!”

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Active-Strawberry-37@reddit

Guess you’re just going to have to buy a motorcycle.

[-]

Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

Ohhh that explains why my coworker at work’s got one lol

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Mel-but@reddit

You’ve made it sound like she lives so close it would be quicker for her to just walk than to walk to and get in your car, wait for it start, pull out of the car park, drive for a minute, find somewhere safe to stop, get out of the car and then walk into her house.

[-]

Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

she walks about 30 to 40 minutes, it’s only 7 minutes by car. There’s a bus right outside, and she’s got a car too, but she doesn’t want to drive because she thinks she won’t find parking. But I’ve got the same issue…I might find parking, or I might not

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RodeoBoss66@reddit

Wait a minute.

You’re seriously complaining about giving a 7-minute lift to a coworker?

SEVEN MINUTES??? Not even ten???

Come ON!

It would be one thing if you actually were going somewhere else but home right after work — that’s a valid reason to say you can’t provide a ride. But if you’re heading home anyway, even on a Friday night, it’s really rather petty to not help her out. “But I really value my personal space and private time.” It’s only seven goddamn minutes. It’s not an hour commute. It’s not daily. You can afford to be kind. You’ll survive. Jesus fucking Christ. You’re doing a nice thing for an old lady. Are you seriously THAT selfish that you would deny an old lady the pleasure of your company? She obviously likes you well enough.

Look, I understand that she takes the bus otherwise, or walks, and has her own car but there’s some concern about parking — I get it. (It would have been nice if you had mentioned all this in your original post.) Yes, normally, if the commute were longer, or if it was a greater inconvenience, or even if she was younger, I might suggest that you gently say no, but….. 7 minutes? Come on. Don’t be that person.

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Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

Yep, 7 minutes and I’d still have moaned if it was only 2. I just can’t stand people being that close to me in my own SPACE my own car I pay for.

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RodeoBoss66@reddit

😂 You’re a woman yourself, aren’t you? I can’t imagine a guy thinking this way. 🤣

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stay_sick_69@reddit

Next time she hints or asks just laugh incredulously & say "don't you have your own car?"

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Dizzy_Media4901@reddit

Thats the kicker. If she were reliant on the bus, then I would probably would cave.

You could always offer a lift for fuel money. 7 mins isn't a long time to tolerate someone's company.

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Mel-but@reddit

That’s very important info, if she’s got her own car just make her bloody use it, otherwise she’s paying for it for no reason

[-]

jetloflin@reddit

How?

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Mel-but@reddit

round the corner, basically the next street over

[-]

jetloflin@reddit

From where OP lives, not from work.

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Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

I meant she lives just around the corner from my house

[-]

Mel-but@reddit

Oh ah makes more sense.

I’ve been in similar situations before but with 3 key differences: I’m the one being offered the lift rather than asking for it. I don’t have a drivers license. I’m happy to walk/cycle/bus, often will decline a lift on a nice day even.

If you like the person I don’t see the issue really, just a chance to spend time together.

If you don’t like her then you can just say no

[-]

Mickleblade@reddit

If we're gonna carshare you need to pay

[-]

SocieteRoyale@reddit

why not just grow up and offer the poor lady a lift on a Friday, why be so selfish over something so small?

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Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

This isn’t just a small thing for me, it’s actually quite a big deal. I really value my personal space, and when I accepted the job, this sort of thing wasn’t part of the deal. We’ve all got our own stuff going on, and it’s not my responsibility to look after her. She’s been in this job for over 20 years and managed just fine. She’s got a car, which she never stops mentioning -or there’s a bus stop literally right outside. I asked the question for a reason. If I wanted to give her a lift every Friday, I would but I don’t. I get people go all sentimental when it comes to older people, but she’s got a car and a family to help her out, so she’ll be alright.

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Illustrious_Study_30@reddit

,🤣🤣🤣 Diddums

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No_Jellyfish_7695@reddit

so just tell her that.

“Thanks but I don’t feel comfortable ride sharing after work, as I value the alone time to decompress before I get home.”

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peachesandcherries26@reddit

God forbid you give someone a lift once a week. Christ you people are really something else.

[-]

Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

😂😂😂😂

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Positive_Wiglet@reddit

Hints are passive agressive. Ignore. If she really wants a lift, she can ask straight out and you can give a straight answer.

If someone asked me for a lift, I would say no, I: really like personal space to decompress on the way home/had a bad experience once/was let down by someone previously, who kept being late and making me wait/get nervous if I have a passenger/would not be covered by my insurance, because I don't have business insurance (driving a colleague counts as using a car for work purposes).

Polite but firm is the way.

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Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

That's actually something I hadn't considered, and it's a really important point. I don’t have business insurance either, thank you.

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Tired-of-this-world@reddit

I hope you have commuting to work on your insurance though and not just pleasure..

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SchoolForSedition@reddit

Unless you are become a taxi, this would be an embarrassingly daft excuse.

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Badknees24@reddit

You don't need business insurance to give a colleague a lift home FFS. Don't use this excuse, you'll sound like an idiot.

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motownclic@reddit

Commuting to work with a colleague doesn't require business insurance

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HumorPsychological60@reddit

I think once a week on Fridays is a kind gesture. You have your own space all the rest of the week and when you're not at work.

A sense of community is a nice thing that we're severely lacking these days. She's from a time where it was acceptable to do things like that, so I don't think she's being rude.

You might make a friend or at the very least look back on that time as you doing something nice for someone else

[-]

Radiant_Evidence7047@reddit

Yeah, don’t do it.

I worked somewhere 45 mins from my house, a new girl started who missed her bus home and would need to wait an hour for the next bus. She was new, harassed, upset, so o said listen your out the way for me but jump in and I’ll drop you off tonight. Instead of 45 mins it took me 1hr15mijs to get home, extra half an hour.

I told her where I stayed, she knew it was out my way significantly.

2 days later the same thing happened, missed the bus, she started getting teary, I felt sorry she had a hard first week, I said hop on and took her home taking an extra 30 minutes.

The next week she asked me with a straight face if I could just give her a lift home after work .., every day. Like the routine would be me driving her home from work daily.

I was fucking gobsmacked at the audacity of this broad. I said really calmly to her I helped her out because it was her first week and I was being nice, as I told her giving her those lifts took me an extra half an hour, so she is asking me to spend 2.5 hours a week driving her home from work. She just nodded and said yes if that’s ok with me.

I said it wasn’t ok and asking was a piss take. I barely spoke to her after that until I left 2 years later.

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r99c@reddit

Work colleague so just say it straight.

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TheHeianPrincess@reddit

Just say “I’m sorry but I like to decompress on the drive home from work.” How is this hard?!

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Whosentyounow@reddit

Don’t be guilt tripped into anything.

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Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

Spot on

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CrossCityLine@reddit

If you already know the answer why are you asking?

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RobertGHH@reddit

Give her a lift, ask for petrol money contribution. If you aren't going home that day, just let her know in the morning so she can make other arrangements.

You are literally going that way anyway.

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Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

“She can make arrangements “ you’re joking aren’t you😂😂 she’s been very able to get to work for 20 years I just started this job last month I think she’ll be fine without having to depend on me

[-]

RobertGHH@reddit

Of course, but if you make giving her a lift a regular thing (and she should pay you for this) then you will need to let her know if you won't be able to give her a lift for whatever reason.

I used to give one of my employees a lift home, they were a detour but not too bad. They would give me 50% of their bus fare as petrol money, it was a good deal for me and a good deal for them.
The arrangement was I would give them a lift on the days we were both working, if I couldn't give them a lift I would tell them as soon as possible and they would get the bus or a taxi as needed. If I didn't say anything it was assumed they would get their lift. Worked very well for the years we worked together and made life a lot easier for her as she was able to take shopping home etc.

[-]

Southernbeekeeper@reddit

No you dullard. They are saying have an agreement with them where you car share so that both your costs are reduced. They are then saying that if for whatever reason you can't car share that day you let them know so they can make arrangements.

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Puzzled_Record_3611@reddit

To the people saying she's lonely, she's elderly etc - no, she's being bloody annoying. She can't even outright ask for a lift so is trying to guilt OP into offering. Plus, she has a bloody car!

I would ignore the hints. If she asks outright, just say you're not going straight home, sorry.

[-]

Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

I’ve only mentioned her age to point that I’ve got nothing in common with her other than working there, I only work with her on Friday. She’s not lovely at all, and she’s not been helpful to me in any way if anything she’s giving me all the wrong informations at work. So yeah, she’s not your typical sweet old lady, she’s actually a bit of a pain, if I’m honest.

[-]

Norman_Small_Esquire@reddit

If I’m ever going to a conference with a colleague and we would be getting the same train, I ask if they want to get the train together or prefer to spend the commute time by themselves.

You could frame your conversation like this, don’t beat around the bush. Tell them that you cherish your commuting time to prepare for work and unwind after work. Tell them that you realise that you would offer a lift to them otherwise, but that that time is just too sacred.

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LordAnchemis@reddit

Start arranging booty calls on Fridays etc.

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semorebunz@reddit

sorry going straight to my girlfriend's /man friend /random made up person house in totally wrong direction

[-]

wolfensteinlad@reddit

Just give her a lift

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Mikeytee1000@reddit

Give her a lift come off it

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Popular_Speed5838@reddit

Easily. You ask them how much Uber is quoting and offer to do it fur just three quarters of that cost.

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Mental-Risk6949@reddit

The formal name of this game is, "boundary perception." You have healthy boundary perception, because you know where you end and where other people begin. This means you do not treat people as an extension of yourself. People with lack of boundary perception come in all shapes and sizes, and this colleague is one of them, as her aim is to treat you as an extension of herself. To do this, she relies on the other person not enforcing their boundary. Your task here is simply to enforce your boundary in the knowledge "boundary perception" is a key part of psychological health, and enabling the lack of boundary perception is not. You are not responsible for the feelings of another adult. Adults are capable of carrying their own feelings.

If she asked me, "Can I catch a lift?" My answer is a polite but firm, "No." At this point, I would not walk away. I would deliberately stay at my desk or whatever, to give her the opportunity to ask why. If/when she asks why, I would answer, "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable to explain." This "asserts" the boundary and, in the terminology of passive/aggressive/assertive, this highlights her as "aggressive" for pushing the issue, should she do that. This, in turn, gives you a firmer ground from which to assert your boundary. For example, "I've said No."

Any further challenge from her communicates your relationship with her is a teacher-child, whereby she expects you to provide adequate reason to excuse yourself from class. I would not enable her to assume this height over me. If she did challenge further, I would (politely) ignore her to "assert" the boundary that has been communicated. The following day, I would make a point of being my usual friendly self to everyone including her, so she understands there is no hard feelings. She will, of course, ask again for the lift and I would again "assert" the boundary by giving the answer, "No." If she asks why, "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable to explain." This will create a professional boundary between the two of you, rather than you functioning as one.

It may be the case that you rinse and repeat this until she has learned the lesson. She is not the teacher here, she is the student who needs to learn "boundary perception," and that is why her behaviour is immature. By asserting a healthy boundary, you are actually doing her a service, a lesson in "boundary perception."

[-]

Specialist-Alps6478@reddit

Did you read OP’s post, or did you just want to share what you do? I bet you’re great at making friends in new workplaces, if you’re advising a 20 year old to go play teacher-student mind games with a 60 year old woman.

[-]

Johto2001@reddit

Just tell her straight up "No, I'm not going to be giving you lifts." She had to get there and back before, it's not your problem. It's best to be definite about these things or she will continue to drop hints.

[-]

Ok-Background7896@reddit (OP)

Exactly! People are crying about her being older, but either way, she was gonna have to walk herself to work with or without me

[-]

Unusual-Thing-7149@reddit

Might sound weird but I ride shared for years and both of us saved money. Older guy than me and we had some pretty good conversations. Never regretted it once but that's just me

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CalligrapherShort121@reddit

I think it really depends on the person. In my very early days of work I agreed a car share with someone, a week about. A week in and his car conveniently had a problem. That problem lasted 3 months. 3 hellish months sharing my space with the weirdest, most boring man on earth. I had enough and told him I had a new girlfriend in that town and I’d be stopping over a lot. His car was fixed of it’s mystery problem in 24 hrs and he never spoke to me again. I’ve given other people lifts since, but I always make sure they’re not weirdos now, and it’s always very much on my terms.

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noodlyman@reddit

Say yes but then have to unexpectedly work 90 minutes later then off.

Say yes but play death metal or modern jazz all the way home, and take up smoking.

Say yes and have some ripe camembert stored under the seats.

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tbodyboy1906@reddit

How far a journey is it ? If it was just a short drive I wouldn't mind just doing it

But I couldn't be bothered having to chat to someone for an hour on the way home

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CaptainHope93@reddit

Keep making excuses until she gets the hint

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No_Watercress8348@reddit

Start asking her for a lift

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PerceptionGreat2439@reddit

Put your hand on her leg and move in to kiss her.

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Electric_Death_1349@reddit

Ask her for petrol money

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Whoopsie_Todaysie@reddit

"My Friday evenings tend to be filled with plans" Supermarket, Gym, Partners house, Visiting Friends, Meal out, Family party, Yoga Class, Appointment, etc...

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Silver-Appointment77@reddit

Just tell her straight. Sorry, but I like the drive to and from work by yourself especially after work so you can decompress.

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TravellingAround_@reddit

You’re allowed to want to do or not do anything you want. You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. Just ignore her. If she asks you directly just say no.

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Girru95@reddit

How long's the journey? If only short, I'd stop being a selfish weenie and give her a lift. Or like only on Friday's and make a special thing of it, like "Friday's lift day!", so that line is drawn and, in her head she's getting a lift on the last day of the week when everyone wants to get home asap the most.

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ukgamer420@reddit

Just say no. No is a complete answer. If you don't feel comfortable appearing blunt, you could always say no, sorry, or follow up with a random question to change the subject.

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JSpencer999@reddit

Give her a lift but drive so badly that she doesn't ask again.

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Life-Bedroom-8886@reddit

Hints are not asking directly. They can be ignored.

Direct requests can initiate a conversation about petrol money…

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SceneDifferent1041@reddit

Is she fit?

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qualityvote2@reddit

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