What’s your experience with meditation?

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Solid-Scientist-9839@reddit

It's better than sitting around doing nothing.

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Meditation in the form of breath work and slow music often makes me more anxious. I have adhd and I'm really highly strung- any sort of calming down can make me feel nauseous, I do well in a state of chaos. However I did start listening to Deepak Chopra "soul of healing affirmations" when doing my weekly shop. I don't know why there, but it stops me from getting overwhelmed and often leaves me feeling chill for the rest of the day.

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brookeslegit2@reddit (OP)

Tbh I ask because I’m currently awaiting ADHD diagnosis, try as I might and with dedication I’ve had just once or twice I seemed to really ‘get it’ and just tried to chase the dragon since but my dumb noisy mind just never switches off or seems too contrived.

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ming47@reddit

Don't force it, your minds not meant to just switch off. Even people who have been meditating for years still get distracted by thoughts at times.

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brookeslegit2@reddit (OP)

I guess for me it’s the frustration that without effort my mind won’t concentrate, but with effort (mainly Sam Harris/headspace) it’s felt like such mental gymnastics to ‘observe the observer’ and that sorta stuff then I beat myself up for not being able to grasp it. I know I can clearly do it, just don’t seem to remember how?

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ming47@reddit

The waking up app can definitely make it forced at times. I think if I'd learnt meditation solely through it I would have struggled. Headspace is pretty good at learning the basics though. However I'd recommend a book called 'The Mind Illuminated' which takes you through eight stages from complete novice to master. It's quite dry but it has all the information you need, and it makes clear what's expected at each stage so you know where you're at. I'd also recommend immersing yourself in blogs and articles and YouTube videos about meditation to give you a wider perspective and more knowledge. There's also loads of tips out there for people with ADHD. Meditation takes so much time and practice, but it will come. The most important thing is to be patient and adjust your expectations. Honestly at your stage if you feel like you can 'observe the observer' even just for a second then that's a win. The more you do it the more frequently those times will come, and keep in mind that putting effort in to reach those moments isn't a failure it's part of the practice. And remember the only bad meditation is the one you didn't do.

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brookeslegit2@reddit (OP)

Ok so I managed to just come up with a practice myself - I just imagined every breath in is a shovel of rocks and earth (thoughts and feelings) and each breath out is those rocks being tossed out of the whole as a dig deep, imagining myself digging deeper down a pit. So far the last three days this has worked every time to get to this hollow place with not a lot going on. My body is certainly relaxed at this point, so is the mind, it’s just interesting.

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ming47@reddit

That sounds pretty good, I've tried meditations like that before where you visualise your thoughts and feelings leaving with your breath and they're always nice. It's good you're enjoying it, keep up with it and I'm sure you'll see more and more benefits.

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jcl3638@reddit

Ah yes, I know those feelings. I found a yoga class which is pretty active/fast paced class but has a ten minute breath work and lying on the floor bit at the end. I enjoy that because I'm physically tired at that point, but if I just tried to meditate in the middle of the day my mind would race and I start to get panicky. I think it's worth remembering that "meditation" can look like whatever works for you. "Mindfulness" might be a better concept for you, such as gratitude or journalling. I get on pretty well with bullet journals because I just colour boxes in to determine whatever I'm tracking, whereas if I had to write a "journal" my mind would be blank even though I'd have a million thoughts going on. Also things like Forest Bathing or Sound Baths, I often find at then that I can find something interesting to focus on whilst everyone else zones out. I definitely do better in classes because I'm surrounded by people and would be too embarrassed to leave. However if I try these things on my own I give up in 30 seconds. Where I live I am lucky enough to have access to "social prescribing" through my gp. Basically it's access to things like yoga and meditation for £1 ran by a CIC rather than a £10 class in a gentrified studio. Worth looking into! Good luck.

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brookeslegit2@reddit (OP)

Damn, yeah everything I read seems to recommend Yoga, only done it once or twice so will give it a go again. Already an avid journal(er/ist?). Will definitely look into social prescribing actually. Stupidly I’m just finishing up my job in a gym this month where i had access to yoga and Pilates free the last year and a half 🥶

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jcl3638@reddit

I'm going to go against the grain and say DONT try Yoga with Adrienne on YT. Her flows are so slow, she winds me up 🤣 everyone else in the world will reccomend her though. >Stupidly I’m just finishing up my job in a gym this month where i had access to yoga and Pilates free the last year and a half 🥶 Oh 😆 ah well, too late now. Maybe try to fit one in before you leave? My work offers free lunchtime yoga but I've never gone. Neurotic about farting in front of colleagues.

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HansProleman@reddit

Got into it just out of interest/wanting to improve my relationship with my mind. Does seem to have stuck, it's been a few years and it waxes/wanes but I sit for 20 minutes most days. There's a lot of woo associated with it for sure, and that put me off for ages, but there are a lot of explicitly secular practitioners and creators out there (though obviously not many monks!) One of the nice things about it is that any practical claims made are independently verifiable, and progress is very reliant on figuring things out for yourself by practicing. Started with Headspace, which was a decent introduction but started putting me off because I wanted some sort of theory/philosophy, and Headspace has absolutely none. Switched to Waking Up instead and much prefer that. I've also done a ten-day silent retreat (not like, a cosy retreat - up at 5am, sitting for 6hrs or more a day), which was quite a remarkable/novel experience. No phones and *no books*. It's *so* unlike daily life, being that unstimulated. The mind becomes shockingly quiet. Told myself I wouldn't do another, but I'm getting a bit tempted. Also stayed at a monastery in Thailand for a few days, which was nice and something I'd like to do more of.

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HomeInTheMeadow@reddit

Where was your silent retreat? I did one at Sharpham House - really lovely place. I got really paranoid though. It's very interesting what your mind does under those conditions.

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HansProleman@reddit

Here for me https://www.dhamma.org/en/schedules/schdipa That's sort of why I'm tempted by the idea of doing another, unsurprisingly my mind has never been that consistently calm since 😅 And group meditation just hits a little different somehow. I like it as a communal activity, even if you're not actually speaking with anyone else!

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HomeInTheMeadow@reddit

The experience of being in a group and getting familiar with them while never talking to them is unique and kind of great. I loved that aspect of silent retreat. You're lucky your mind went into a calm state. Sounds lovely. Not like that for everybody!

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Stained_concrete@reddit

I learned TM (Transcendental Meditation) because I'm slightly embarrassed to say several celebrities whose work I respect spoke out about how it helped them and I thought why not. Training was pretty straightforward (four evenings of lessons) and it definitely worked for me. I was happy that they weren't culty at all. I haven't been to a meeting or public session for years and aside from the occasional info email they don't bother me. I don't do it regularly. Gave up on the 20 minutes twice a day thing, but like learning to drive it's a skill I keep in my back pocket for when I need it. I use it to calm myself down if I'm feeling panicky or stressed and it works every time. When people ask what meditation does for you, imagine your thoughts and worries are jigsaw pieces and you're trying to make sense of them while only seeing them from the side. Meditation allows your mind to look at the pieces from above so you have a much better perspective on how to fit them together.

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saijanai@reddit

> I don't do it regularly. Gave up on the 20 minutes twice a day thing, but like learning to drive it's a skill I keep in my back pocket for when I need it. I use it to calm myself down if I'm feeling panicky or stressed and it works every time. Did you learn through the Meditation Trust (the splinter group) or through the Maharishi Foundation? . [Jerry Seinfeld explains why he does TM twice-daily.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JxUQ0OLzSU) . TM isn't really meant as a copying technique. Done regularly, normal mind-wandering rest starts to become more and more TM-like ([Figure 3](https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-3bf2ae778203ef324589b975fe282ce0) of [Cross-Sectional and Longitudinal Study of Effects of Transcendental Meditation Practice on Interhemispheric Frontal Asymmetry and Frontal Coherence.](https://sci-hub.se/10.1080/00207450600575482) shows how this progresses during the first year of TM practice) until, in theory, there is no difference and there's no point in doing it any more. Actually, by definition, you can no-longer do TM once that point is reached, as the deepest level of TM automatically shows up whenever you sit quietly and close your eyes, and so you have no chance to remember your mantra before that happens. . But you miss out on that long-term progress if you only do it irregularly, and if you only do it once-per-day instead of twice-daily, estimates are that the progression is about 1/4 the speed of twice-daily (more than that doesn't seem to help much).

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Stained_concrete@reddit

I learned it through the Maharishi organization, and I did do it twice a day until I adapted what I'd learned to fit my needs. I don't particularly care if I'm missing out on whatever brain development or using it for purposes 'not intended by the manufacturer', what I learned has served me well and I'm glad I did it.

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thatiscromulent@reddit

I do TM. It is good and not hard to be consistent about. It costs a lot of money. so check r/nondirective

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saijanai@reddit

None of the people on r/nondirective can point to any research on their practices having the same effect as TM. They just assume it because they want to justify not paying.

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HomeInTheMeadow@reddit

I went to therapy for a while and my therapist recommended mindfulness meditation. I did a six week introductory course, and then kept up the practice at home for a while. It was fairly sporadic for years, but for some reason two years ago I committed to meditating every day and I've stuck to it since then. How woo it gets is really up to you - it's there if you want it. I don't deny there's a spiritual side to meditation (how could there not be?) and a genuine sense of the unknown (meditation makes you realise what a mystery you are to yourself), but I don't pursue that side of it. I don't do chakras/crystals/chanting etc. I just sit in silence for 20 minutes every day and focus on my breath or my body or my thoughts. it's both incredibly boring and incredibly interesting. It's an every day habit that quickly becomes ordinary, like making the bed. It's difficult to put this into words, but you can 'get better' at mediation the more you practice (any meditators out there will understand why this is a problematic thing to say) and seeing yourself 'improve' (again - problematic) is interesting and enjoyable. I have no doubt it's had an impact on me. I'm more open, I laugh more easily, I'm more empathetic, more tolerant, and I like people more. Meditation doesn't solve any problems, it just lightens things a little. It weakens your attachment to your problems. It's very cool. I think they should teach it in schools.

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whatsername235@reddit

I've tried and it's not for me. However, I've known many people who it's worked for. I think it depends on your personality, your reasons for trying and openness to it

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MotherShabubu69@reddit

It's a bit like exercise - if you do it a few times and then give up, it's going to do absolutely nothing. It definitely helped me through depression, and it's a great technique to flush all the anxiety and negative thoughts out of your head. I don't really do it much these days as I don't need to, but it can be beneficial to get back into that zone occasionally.

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bahumat42@reddit

Thats a bit dismissive, theres plenty of people who just can't do it for whatever reason, its not like exercise which is universally good for people. Meditation can cause anxiety attacks in people it can also trigger depression. It is definitely not just "you didn't try hard enough".

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ming47@reddit

Exercise can also cause injuries though. If you learn meditation responsibly with a valid teacher then you'll be able to work through any issues.

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paddyton@reddit

I’ve tried but I just don’t have the patience to stick it out, even if it’s a 10 min session my mind wanders elsewhere and it felts pointless.

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ZeeZeeNei@reddit

I've tried it a few times, my brain just won't shut up for long enough

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vampyrain@reddit

Have you tried guided meditation? My mind is wandering constantly with breathing, music or mantras, but guided ones around the 20 minute mark are helpful for keeping myself focused enough to complete.

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WVA1999@reddit

It's helped me with anxiety & other worries in the passed. Sometimes I'll use headspace, others guided meditation and also ambient music. I find with the latter I get into a sort of half dreamlike state. Interesting

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penicuiklass@reddit

It’s only ever hit me when done in a sensual / sexual way. I like imagining a glowing pearl of energy in my cervix. I’ve come close to orgasm twice before just doing that.

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brookeslegit2@reddit (OP)

Sounds kinda hot, is that on the headspace app?

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penicuiklass@reddit

Hahaha no but r/mindgasm will help you

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RamenArtist@reddit

I meditate almost every day but I was raised Buddhist so there's that. I do honestly recommend it for stress relief alone but do seek out a teacher to show you how to actually mediate.

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DudeBrowser@reddit

I used to do something like meditation as a kid when I was upset to calm myself down when. Normally it was hum into a pillow. Now, I'm asleep in 1 min if I relax.

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appeardeadpan@reddit

Better than sitting around doing nothing

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Low-Total9121@reddit

Boring as fuck

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UndeadUndergarments@reddit

It doesn't work for me. I have Existential Pure OCD, so all meditation does is make me very aware of how bad I'm feeling. Now, *belly breathing* is another story. That 4 in, 4 hold, 4 out, making sure you breathe into your stomach? That can halt a panic attack.

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brookeslegit2@reddit (OP)

Tbh I can’t offer much advice but only hope, when I was about 11 I had what I only recently learned is existential OCD and remember how sucky it was to think all was pointless (ruined Disneyland holiday). At the time I just thought my soul had left me. I think I even remember thinking everything is fucked and there’s no way out, then when I accepted that I guess I just got over it. It’s weird because now I’m just comfortably agnostic, not spiritual, love reading philosophy and none of its ever touched that crushing time. Just goes to show anxiety/ocd is bullshit at the end of the day - now if I could just use that on my own problems since…

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ReluctantApple@reddit

Controlled breathing is a legitimate form of meditation, as is any practice that encourages you to concentrate on being aware of your body.

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wreckinballbob@reddit

Headspace is a good app, if you don't mind paying (I think it's £40 a year) they have lots of courses and a variety of people narrating them, so you're likely to find a voice that helps you keep up with it. Also loads of additional stuff like sleep casts (soothing stories to help guide you to sleep) sleep music and sounds, plus a daily wake up routine, that can help motivate you in a morning.

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destria@reddit

I have tried it many times throughout my life but I've really struggled to see any benefit from it.

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PeggyNoNotThatOne@reddit

I found it helpful for getting to sleep during a stressful time in my life. Not cross-legged on the floor, lying in bed in the dark. My life is pretty stress-free now I've retired so I fall asleep to an audio book now. Usually something non-fiction with no exciting bits, just a pleasant voice lulling me into the land of nod.

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ReluctantApple@reddit

Works for me. It takes practice and concentration, but does help reduce stress and learn how to induce calm when you need it. It does not need to be deeply philosophical - there is plenty of evidence that simple breathing "meditation" alters brain states beneficially. Healthy Minds is one many useful apps, but you have to work a bit to find one that suits you.

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Strong_Roll5639@reddit

It massively helped me get out of an essentially year-long anxiety attack. Not just meditation, but it certainly helped.

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blinky84@reddit

Went to a meditation class at the local Buddhist centre for a while. Thought the meditation was pretty fab, even if the Buddhist elements weren't about to convert me. It does take a while to get the hang of, and it's easier to do at a class than at home, but I really liked the breath counting one.

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cillitbangers@reddit

I like mindfulness which is a bit like that. Has really helped me with anxiety in the past.

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acceberbex@reddit

I gave it a go at a Mindfulness class - parts were good. It was basically a meditation and then a gratitiude exercise, maybe a little discussion about something (maybe gratitude, what defines it, maybe empathy vs sympathy) and then another meditation. It was a nice way to spend an hour - some of the meditations I could get into. Some I just ended up distracted or trying too hard to get into it, especially if I felt I'd picked the wrong thing - for example, going to your favourite outside space, sit there, watch the cars go past on the road (wait, I'm on a beach...) "watch the people go past (what people? I'm alone on the beach...it's MY space) BUT, my mum who was very anti the idea really got into it - I think just an hour (she had private sessions) where she literally had nothing else to do but switch off was really good for her. I think sometimes taking 10 minutes to yourself is a good thing. It can help you sleep (doing a full body relaxation type meditation) or learning mindfulness techniques to help switch off when you need to. The same can be achieved with grounding yourself (if you're getting worked up, touch 5 things, look at 5 things, see if you can smell 5 things, hear 5 sounds).

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Playful-Salamander-1@reddit

After a couple of weeks I find myself much more relaxed in general. Then I feel good and don’t do it for months until my stress levels are through the roof. Then the cycle repeats.

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BibbleBeans@reddit

Maybe for some people it works but for me it’s solidly woo and about as effective as having crystals

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Mdl8922@reddit

I have every intention of starting it, but I've had the intention for the last 5 years & never got round to it.

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Have_a_butchers_@reddit

I started meditating about twenty years ago, in my late teens and through the influence of my mum. It’s shaped my life in lots of ways from my career to my choice of partner. I still mediate in some form, I enjoy it.

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Regenreun@reddit

I’ve tried and tried and tried some more but it just doesn’t do anything for me.

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Sufficient_Pin_9595@reddit

Same.

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FlowerTheDM@reddit

You reminded me to get back into it

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