ULPT to stop people trespassing?
Posted by GTOn1zuka@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 46 comments
I've recently moved to Germany, and almost every day I encounter people trespassing and walking around in my garden. I've put up several signs at every possible entry point, clearly stating "CCTV recording in operation" and "Private Property - No Trespassing". However, it seems everyone is ignoring them.
I've already spoken to the police about this, but their response was essentially, "What do you expect us to do?" So, unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be a viable option.
Based on what I've seen on my cameras, most of the people appear to be refugees. Today, I saw two individuals walking around, so I ran out to confront them, but they despawned.
nobody-u-heard-of@reddit
Motion activated. Sprinkler
MarcellaMeadow@reddit
Additionally: motion activated speakers with sounds of large, angry dogs barking and/or gunshot sounds.
AnarchoKapitalista@reddit
Rent a pitbull
VanDahlFin@reddit
In Germany it would be German Shepherd. Woof!
AerieEmotional4979@reddit
bear trap
the_kfcrispy@reddit
Bear traps because you think you heard bears one day.
Scarlett_Maki@reddit
“Did you touch that fucking bear trap?”
Virtual_Product_5595@reddit
Piss discs?
Scragglymonk@reddit
fences and lockable gates help
signs are no use if they are refugees as they wont know the language, probably looking for somewhere to take a shit
Clownheadwhale@reddit
Leave out some sealed snack cakes with a creamy center into which you've injected laxatives with a hypodermic needle. The hole it makes should be barely perceptible. Maybe on or near the seam. Might not keep them out, but it will ruin their day.
UnderwhelmingTwin@reddit
Admittedly, when I visited Germany the average German spoke excellent English, but have you considered posting signs in German? Or pictures?
Hot-Win2571@reddit
ITCH LAND NEIN FUR FOOTENPOKEN
Routine-Mulberry6124@reddit
I’m always so impressed by bilingual people ❤️
Clownheadwhale@reddit
I say bilingual people have a superpower.
Hot-Win2571@reddit
Danke Schoen
Much-Log3357@reddit
SPEILEN MIT MEINE KARTOPELKOPFT.
fredolele@reddit
Maybe a sign that says Welcome to America
Hot-Win2571@reddit
Proper sign: NEIN DEUTSCHLAND
Elope9678@reddit
Put up signs with spoilers to all major new movies
fredolele@reddit
Bruce Willis was dead the whole time
fiftymils@reddit
You son of a bitch!
ByLowSellHigh@reddit
Beware of Dogs
yourdonefor_wt@reddit
Barbed wire
Rachel_Silver@reddit
Did you even try piss disks and liquid ass before you came to us?
BildoWarrior@reddit
“WARNING: MINE FIELD”
Much-Log3357@reddit
ACHTUNG! MEINEN
BildoWarrior@reddit
STOPPEN ZIE STOMPING
-Hippy_Joel-@reddit
Make some 6'x3' dirt mounds with toes, fingers, and hands poking out a little.
SublimeMudTime@reddit
Hot dogs where you slice a touch of the end off so it looks like a fingernail bed make good mock fingers. Maybe some dried ketchup in strategic places for blood.
It's an arts and crafts project.
Then put up a few more cameras to try and catch the reactions and you might get on Deutschland's funniest videos. Or monetize the vid on YouTube and do some nice marketing of the video. Make sure to watermark the vid.
-Hippy_Joel-@reddit
No. Real appendages, digits, and limbs.
Rob0ts@reddit
Pour liquid ass on your garden
XxCotHGxX@reddit
Get big dogs
jeremydallen@reddit
Landmines
GreyGhost1008@reddit
If someone enters your property, you could drive nails through a small piece of wood and bury it shallowly with the nails pointing upwards, just covered with a bit of dirt....
bitenmein1@reddit
Put up a train station sign and barbed wire. Throw a bunch of empty suitcases on the side.
DD_Wabeno@reddit
Live stream the cameras to social media with defamatory captions, like: “sexual predator”, “writes bad checks”, etc.
xikbdexhi6@reddit
Tiger pit
Routine-Mulberry6124@reddit
Put up speakers in your garden and play annoying music like Tiny Tim or Nickelback
BourbonSucks@reddit
fences make good neighbors
Hot-Win2571@reddit
You need more emotional support bears.
VixenTraffic@reddit
Plant stinging nettles and poison ivy. I’m not familiar with other annoying plants but see if you can find more and then set up a motion activated sprinkler to water them.
million_monkeys@reddit
Leave big piles of crap all over the place. Make it a landmine field of poop. Make it smell bad. They will stop.
Hot-Win2571@reddit
Dump foul-smelling pudding.
javiergc1@reddit
Plant some poisonous plants and put a sign that they can cause severe allergic reactions.
ExplanationFew2864@reddit
Watering hose with motion activation
fouldspasta@reddit
Fence