Maybe She kidnapped herself

[-]

BrokenArmsFrigidMom@reddit

She’s not his “special lady” she’s just his fuckin’ lady friend! He’s just helping her conceive, Man!

[-]

Alternative-Way-8753@reddit

Squirrels did not do this, man. I mean look at it -- Young trophy wife.
Marries a guy for his nuts but figures he isn't giving her enough. She owes acorns all over town--

[-]

ryanb31183@reddit

Also Dude, squirrel isn’t the preferred nomenclature. Sciuridae

[-]

Alternative-Way-8753@reddit

What are you, a fucking wildlife taxonomist now?

[-]

grimatonguewyrm@reddit

A trophy Barbie, in the parlance of our times.

[-]

xxxKnightOwlxxx@reddit

And let's also not forget--let's not forget, Dude--that keeping Barbie, and a squirrel, for uh, you know, domestic, within a tree-- that ain't legal either.

[-]

Drewp655321@reddit

looks like the Squirrel's log jammin'

[-]

Slight-Fix9564@reddit

Ve vill cut off your johnson, but we'd rather have your nuts.

[-]

ForswornForSwearing@reddit

I feel like I've seen this on PornHub...

[-]

Telepornographer@reddit

Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?

[-]

staresinshamona@reddit

welp, that about does it

wraps ‘er all up

[-]

Beginning_Baseball44@reddit

She’s gotta feed the squirrel. I mean... Hasn’t that ever occurred to you, man?

[-]

WilHunting2@reddit

Let's not forget, Dude - keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that aint legal either.

[-]

Perfect__Timing@reddit

Lotta interesting facets to this case, lotta ins, lotta outs…

[-]

It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. However, there are some people--it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women- and something or other in squirrels -who engage in it compulsively and without joy.

[-]

LLKroniq@reddit

These rodents cannot love

[-]

Seahawk_I_am_I_am@reddit

This strumpet…

[-]

Beginning_Baseball44@reddit

You want an acorn? I can get you an acorn, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me. I’ll get you a acorn by this afternoon ... Hell, I could get you an acorn by 3:00 this afternoon with nail polish. These fucking amateurs. They send us an acorn, we’re supposed to shit ourselves with fear. Jesus Christ!

[-]

Beginning_Baseball44@reddit

Mr. Acorn draws a lot of water in this town.

You don’t draw shit, Lebowski.

[-]