ULPT: how can I provide some daily life inconveniences for a perverted 70 year old man who creeps on young teen girls?
Posted by ScooterAndBeans@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 309 comments
Neighbor of ours is an old, perverted asshole. He is always bitching at me and my kids (and every other neighborhood kid) about using the sidewalk in front of his house (it’s public), or kids riding their bikes or cars parking legally on the curb NEAR his house. Literally anything that happens in a normal neighborhood with families this guy bitches about. He put a sign in his front yard (not fenced) “anyone trespassing on my yard will be shot, survivors will be shot again.”
He’s fucking crazy. He also has a habit of watching my 13 year old daughter in the swimming pool from the second story of his next door home. I’ve asked him to stop and his response was “or what? It’s not against the law to look out my window.”
I’m not a bad person, but if he died tomorrow life would be better for everyone. Even his wife (who is also a bitch).
I know his cell number. What can I do to just piss him off? Something anonymous that doesn’t affect anyone else in the neighborhood. He has security cameras and I’m not going to vandalize anything or do anything illegal. I just want to anonymously make his life a little bit as difficult as he’s made our neighbors. And we do have a wonderful neighborhood.
JupiterSkyFalls@reddit
Call his number .Pose as a reporter. Say you're doing a story on local registered sex offenders. And say you couldn't seem to find papers but you had it on good authority that they were one. Sometimes just having someone call them out out of the blue is enough. Especially if you sound really legit and use local businesses and News networks as your cover.
Bmacthecat@reddit
get a friend or family member to do it so they have a different voice
Different-While8090@reddit
I absolutely love this. Especially if you know someone who can do the reporter voice really well
Sad-Sheepherder-292@reddit
Call the Jehovah witnesses on him. There’s an actual website in which you can request for them to go to someone’s house
CurtisW831@reddit
Get a camera, aim it at that window
Sad_Pilot_8606@reddit
He likely has dementia and has no idea what's going on.
Purlz1st@reddit
Look around for all those We Buy Houses signs in town, get the ones that have email or web addresses. Submit his phone number and address. Say you’re a motivated seller.
Sign him up online for A Place For Mom. Be sure to indicate that you want to pay privately, this is better than catnip to them. They are the most determined group of salespeople I’ve ever met, and besides calling and texting almost hourly (it feels like) they pass on info to all the nursing homes and assisted living facilities in your area who start calling too.
bottomlless@reddit
Moving companies too. I filled out one online form for a quote to move an appliance 5 years ago and I still get a call from a random moving company every once in a while.
I ended up calling my old boss and borrowing his company truck and did the move myself. Screw those companies.
Otterly_Gorgeous@reddit
I'm still getting calls about getting a vehicle transported...4 years after I just up and drove it myself.
wereturnip@reddit
Agreed. I made one call to a mover one time for a short move 5 years ago. I am still getting calls weekly giving me prices from thousands of different brokers.
mjm666@reddit
Yep, sign him up for all kinds of crap, Jehovah's witnesses, scientology, etc.
Karen_Not-that-Karen@reddit
And LDS/Mormoms 😀
Homebrewer01@reddit
NAMBLA
followupquestion@reddit
The National Association of Marlon Brando Look Alikes?
roachymart@reddit
yea, them too
seanieuk@reddit
Uhhh...yeah...
Popular-Drummer-7989@reddit
Iykyk
-AllCatsAreBeautiful@reddit
Definitely this. Get some literature out to him.
Ziggyork@reddit
Kars 4 Kids are a pain in the ass!
SnooCrickets6708@reddit
So is the jingle. I hate that damn song!
Ziggyork@reddit
I think everyone does!
Individual_Hunt_4710@reddit
kars 4 kids's money goes to very interesting places.
chud3@reddit
Wow, I had no idea...
Limp-Fishcuit91@reddit
“1-877-KARS-4-KIDS, 1-877-KARS-4-KIDS…” is etched indelibly into my soul from those commercials.
bcardin221@reddit
It haunts me.
MoldDrivesMeNutz@reddit
3am and now I’ve got that stupid jingle in my head. Thanks. LOL.
Cole_Slawter@reddit
Facebook fake profile❤️
TheDreadGazeebo@reddit
Crutchfield catalog
puffandpill@reddit
Also things he, being an old (guessing white) man, probably disapproves of/has prejudice against.
LGBT/Pride stuff, BLM, whatever you think will anger him most.
I love the idea of him opening yet another invite to his local gay nightclub, preferably with loads of buff gay men in leather and drag and whatnot.
If you double down and have multiple gay-related bits of junk mail and magazines turning up at his house monthly I can definitely see his wife getting suspicious of him 😂
PearlySweetcake7@reddit
He's a Trumper for sure. He'd hate the LGBTQ stuff, BLM, and pro-choice.
strangerNstrangeland@reddit
Fraternal order of police- for every stain the union
RowEastern5695@reddit
I used to work for APFM. Horrible company that deserves any grief you can give them.
HugeLittleDogs@reddit
I like this!
Interesting-Rip-8375@reddit
Oh my god yes! I just had to do research for an assisted living facility for my grandmother and they literally call you hourly for days even though I to them we were only in the planning stage at the time.
metalflygon08@reddit
Claim the house was inherited from a dead relative and you don't want it to make it extra spicy.
karkamungus@reddit
Maybe, just maybe, he will be induced to move into one.
faceerase@reddit
Better yet, buy a sticker and slap his number over the number on the we buy houses sign
Purlz1st@reddit
I bow to your superior unethicalness.
FormidableMistress@reddit
Yep all the old folks homes. He'll think his family did it.
Th1s1sMyBoomst1ck@reddit
Also life insurance agents. They’re relentless if they think you’re interested.
arbitrageME@reddit
life insurance agents are known for the business they can get off a 70 year old
Haunting-Berry1999@reddit
Oh yeah. Get a quote on Select Quote.com for term life.
PoorStandards@reddit
I'm here to say car dealerships are pretty good about calling a lot to secure sales.
Rebel_bass@reddit
GET BEHIND ME SATAN.
tigertony@reddit
…AND DON’T PUSH! (A favorite saying of my Mom)
Niyahmonet@reddit
ORRRRR make a WE BUY HOUSES sign and put his number on it.
Hot-Win2571@reddit
House For Rent
rainmouse@reddit
Write his number in every bathroom stall you come across, asking for juicy turd photos. People absolutely will send that shit.
XR171@reddit
"Rate your poop, text pictures to 867-5309 for a free fecal consult!"
olyfrijole@reddit
OnlyPoops
Gold plan gets you to a gastroenterologist.
XaK2025@reddit
Oh lawd please don’t let be a thing on the internet 😂🤣😂 please we DONT NEED THIS 👏👏👏
olyfrijole@reddit
It's the future of medicine: crowd sourced fecal analysis
XR171@reddit
The brown plan gets you 17 grams of Miralax mixed with 8 ounces of water every fifteen minutes for two hours.
stoned--immaculate@reddit
What did Jenny do to you?
XR171@reddit
Refused to rate my poo
weaseltorpedo@reddit
I give it a 2
utlayolisdi@reddit
It got a 1.5 from the Macedonian judge
RyanGoslingsJacket@reddit
dressedtotrill@reddit
Username uh.. checks out?
insquestaca@reddit
A number 2
im_no_doctor_lol@reddit
But write, "tell this pedophile how you feel about pedophiles" and put his number 🤣 he will be forced to change his number 🤣
thoughtsplurge@reddit
This is the way! ^
sfgothgirl@reddit
literally
Radiant_Pickle_@reddit
U just watched Cody ko too? Haha I came to write the same thing
jujumber@reddit
Write it on 1 dollar bills, They'll continually get circulated for many years and he'll start to get Poop pics from around the whole country.
BeholdThePalehorse13@reddit
Can confirm this does work. Had an ex that was a cashier at a gas station in my teen years and she put my number and god knows what message on tons of bills. I got random calls from all over the country for a couple years. Crazy part is that we ended up working it out…before the calls started. lol. In retrospect, great joke. lol.
endisnigh-ish@reddit
This is the best ULPT i have seen! Thank you!
Pirate401@reddit
This. A prankless harm
HoopaDunka@reddit
Quite literally.
lostgravy@reddit
This speaks to all generations and all genders. It’s the flaming bag of poop on the front porch all grown up and modernized
SpanishFlamingoPie@reddit
I know I would
No-Willingness-4804@reddit
Go out when your daughter does. While she swims, you can just stand and stare at him the whole time. Bonus points for getting friends and neighbors to stand with you.
Embarrassed-Use7252@reddit
Share to JG Wentworth that you want to speak about your annuity, they will harras him for life.
p50one@reddit
Chewbacca imitation contest with his number as the one to call. $500 prize!
AllyLB@reddit
Sign him up for Scientology stuff
few23@reddit
Get him subscribed to some really niche porn mags, but put your neighbors across the street as the address. Also Highlights.
nsolomyn@reddit
Multiple other folks' addresses, his name on all.
hamfwb@reddit
🤣
nsolomyn@reddit
You're going to need more ways to hurt him after he changes his ph #. What can we do to his house to make him move? Termite food? Cockroach eggs? Drones peeping in his windows?
prostheticaxxx@reddit
Post his number on an escort ad. Tick all the boxes, you love Greek, you love threesomes, I like it sloppy, YES you can call and text me! Available all hours. <3
Just don't go choose one with ID verification, choose some shitty listcrawler type site.
Source: am an escort.
Rubberxsoul@reddit
maybe i’m forgetting something obvious here but….what is greek in this context?
Bismothe-the-Shade@reddit
You mean... It's all Greek to you?
Rubberxsoul@reddit
that is where my mind went! so i thought maybe it was code for everything? but no, i have now been educated
prostheticaxxx@reddit
Ya code for anal it's stupid to me bc law enforcement knows what Greek means so. I don't discuss explicit activities in my ad at all.
Rubberxsoul@reddit
fascinating, thank you!! yeah their task forces for things that use coded language are pretty on it, at least in the sector i work in. sounds like you’re being smart with your ad wording
itzmartyman@reddit
It's not code, its what the ancient Greeks did. Educate yourself.
metalflygon08@reddit
So the Russians are all into titty fucking?
JellyfishGod@reddit
That's exactly why it's a code
MoldDrivesMeNutz@reddit
TIL that ancient Greeks created anal sex lmfao
NoMan999@reddit
Ancient French also did anal, yet "French" means blowjob in escort ad speech.
SaltyBacon23@reddit
You know what a code means, right? A code can be overtly obvious and still be a code. EdUcAtE yOuRsElF!
Livid-Image-1653@reddit
Anal
metalflygon08@reddit
Or use AI images, since this is the unethical tip sub.
prostheticaxxx@reddit
You still can't use the ones with ID verification, if you arent the person in the photos duh, it won't work
metalflygon08@reddit
Well yeah, I was banking more off your Listcrawler suggestion since I know fake pics are rampant there.
An account with no pics at all is not likely to get enough traffic but a few fake photos (and maybe a fake review or two) will make that account start popping, especially if they set it to a decently populated city.
jkzkh@reddit
where would i find an escort ad? asking for a friend lol
liquidice12345@reddit
Name checks out.
stabbingrabbit@reddit
Does he have a nice lawn? Gallons of vinegar and salt thrown at night. Amazon him some dog poop. There are gag sites to send sex toys and glitter cards.
Otaraka@reddit
I think this would count as illegal? OP didnt want that and the ‘trespasser will be shot’ sign probably doesn’t make this a great idea either.
stabbingrabbit@reddit
It could be vandalism i suppose. As far as the trespass is why I said throw it. Just did not specify from OP yard
Northern_Owl_Who@reddit
I like these suggestions.
LastLostCause@reddit
Me too! Too bad it means spending money on this dillhole.
DGAFADRC@reddit
You called him a dillhole 🤣
I’ve never heard that slur but I like it and I’m stealing it! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Living_Molasses4719@reddit
Oldie but goodie
Maleficent-Crow-446@reddit
Yeah, but vinegar and salt are 2 of the cheapest things you can buy at the store.
Northern_Owl_Who@reddit
Could always head to your local dog park with some extra bags in hand. Empty those bags where they belong, at night?
_Volly@reddit
I prefer using a total vegetation killer liquid in a sprayer. You can write messages like doing graffiti
-AllCatsAreBeautiful@reddit
Just write, TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT
Mango106@reddit
This is the most unethical thread I've seen yet in which nothing is overtly illegal. Great job, y'all.
Kooky-Whereas-2493@reddit
their are auto diler apps that you can set to call 999 times, set a gap between calls, set how long of a blank voice mail or record a voice mail message and leav that message
you can add his number to many things that will pester him
or you can send me his number as i am a bored retired asshole
Jonesaw2@reddit
Write his number in Porto potty’s and say send me pictures of your poop.
YungMidRange@reddit
Magazine subscriptions to his address
thehig@reddit
His name but to another neighbor. Even better.
northXnortheast3@reddit
If you have a couple of hundred dollars to spare…
Create a fake email with some kind of variation of his name, like 1st initial + last name or something. Once you have that email, reach out to the church of Sc*entology explaining that you have recently found them and want to know more and sign the email with his name & phone number.
Then get a visa gift card and go to their website to buy 1 of every book they offer. Use the fake email, his name & address on the order. In a few days he will be hounded with phone calls and texts multiple times a day no matter how many times he blocks the number or tells them he’s not interested. This will continue until he dies
HalfaYooper@reddit
Those fuckers are relentless. 30 years ago I went to visit them not understanding who they were. I've moved countless times and I still get hand written letters multiple times a year. Thankfully they don't have my phone number.
Fresh-Ordinary-103@reddit
Me too!! Moved to a different state and they still found me.
VantasnerDanger@reddit
But what does the fake email do if the guy doesn't know it exists? And what if OP doesn't have the guys phone number?
Eather-Village-1916@reddit
OP most definitely has his home address at least.
northXnortheast3@reddit
I guess it's not necessary but I wouldn't risk using any of my own info in any capacity when reaching out to them. from what I've heard its just something that cannot be undone
GaspingAloud@reddit
I wouldn’t include any of my own contact info. Since OP has a phone number, she can probably get his email address by just googling his name, phone number, and address
Book_talker_abouter@reddit
OP has the number. The point of the email is to impersonate the guy and give up his phone and address to the Scientologists
Honest-Western1042@reddit
I've heard of the online sign up but adding in the book purchase is genius!
daddyforurissues@reddit
Craigslist ad, moving sale. Everything must go. Place a date, say after that date stuff will be free.
No_Appearance_7373@reddit
Go to a scammy website like those “you have won a free iPhone!!” And put his info in. It will be one company after another trying to farm the phone number and sell it to other companies. Give yourself a time limit, like 2 hours to go one after another. They will never leave him alone. Do this every 6 months.
AnaisNinjaTX@reddit
Sign him up for school district alerts in several districts. They’re relentless, I somehow keep getting notification texts even though I switched off notifications & deleted the app. Sign him up for texts from politicians, local churches, and every single retail store, fast food, & sit-down restaurant in your area.
Shit_Sarah_Says_@reddit
I saw once someone commented that they copied and pasted the entire bible and sent it via text. Awhile back when not everyone had unlimited text/data charges.
Obesedick@reddit
His view needs to be blocked from your pool. If it possible? 🌲?
User_Name_Deleted@reddit
When your daughter goes inside have your husband go outside to the pool naked and just stare at him.
DuneheimAstronomia@reddit
“What? It’s not against the law to be naked in my yard”
roachymart@reddit
There's some places you can catch charges for being naked in your house because of a window.
Apotak@reddit
So place a large object between husbands body and the road.
SpellingIsAhful@reddit
It actually can be depending on public visibility.
stedun@reddit
Depends on state and local laws. We need more details to make an accurate assessment.
Less-Requirement9358@reddit
Husband should wear daughter’s bikini and just stare at him 👙
Drunk_Lemon@reddit
There's no law saying I can't wear a bikini as a man.
InsayneW0lf@reddit
Lol this.
hamfwb@reddit
This. Whatever else you do, this should also be included in the bombardment.
Man stands naked angrily
Hubby could even do so in a robe, so the only audience for his business is the targeted audience, and he could always be at the ready. Hubby home? Robe time, ready and waiting, locked and loaded for the creeper neighbor to start peeping
DenialZombie@reddit
OK but what if he likes it.
sjaxn314159@reddit
I can only get so hard…
_Volly@reddit
You husband can assert dominance.
gemstone2011@reddit
Just tell him exactly what you think of him and be mean about it....make rude mean eye contact everytime u see him ..become a ruthless bitch and see how he likes it...put a sign in ur yard that says old perverted men that check out little girls are disgusting and gross and shld be shot ...lol
Ok_Work7396@reddit
Can you plant trees that'll eventually obscure his view?
MollysTootsies@reddit
He'll be dead of old age by then though
wr003@reddit
Get a shinny “lawn ornament” that might happen to reflect right at that window that creep looks out from.Also certain lasers damage security cameras.Take a picture of him when he’s creeping out the window and print it out and post it up with a description so ppl can see.
One-Development5991@reddit
Sign him up for playgirl magazine and have it sent to his house
Bubbly-University-94@reddit
Make up one of those signs that have phone numbers underneath you can rip off
Then on it make up a flyer with your local radio station presents the chewbacca imitation comp, best one wins $1000 ring the number below and when we answer the best chewbacca howl wins.
Distribute flyers everywhere.
WitchySue@reddit
Maybe he needs moving or insurance quotes.... They call a LOT
lick_my_tain@reddit
Sign him up for every political mailing list, especially if it is the opposite of how you think he leans.
shinyshinyredthings@reddit
Sign his number up for car transport brokers. Holy shit I have never had so many calls from so dedicated a group of people for about three years.
Melissashais@reddit
Put his phone number and address in every solar energy offer in your area, those guys are relentless! Connect to any Bluetooth speakers he has an blast porn when he had company over 😂😂🤷♀️
Middle_Low_2825@reddit
Sign him up for every religious test message campaign you can find. Doesn't matter the denomination.
Rain_Dr0pp@reddit
This isn't to annoy him, but is to stop his peeping out his window. Water balloons full of paint thrown at his window. Maybe wait until he goes to the store or something. Is he really going to be able to clean it off? Unlikely.
billymumfreydownfall@reddit
Sure that sign on his lawn must be illegal? Call the police and tell them he's waving a gun around.
Zumvault@reddit
"I'm not a bad person...."
You sure as hell sound like one with that whole paragraph.
He definitely sounds difficult for you to coexist with, his intent may not be sexual in watching the kid swim. My great aunt and uncle lost a toddler to a few inches of water in an unsupervised five gallon bucket, and later in life their pre-teen son got flipped upsode down while stuffed in an innertube that was too tight and ended up drowning.
They watch kids near water very closely. You don't know him anymore than he knows you is all I'm saying here, plan for the worst but don't assume it.
Often times folks would rather not explain that sort of thing given how it typically turns into an inquisition where more and more personal and private information is callously demanded and callously treated.
Obviously keep a careful eye on him and the kid(s) and if it seems clear that his intent is foul then involve the police immediately, and present yourself calmly and speak concisely to end up on the best footing if you aren't confident in your own strategy.
Pesticides-cause-ASD@reddit
oh come on. It's pretty obvious he's not doing it to be a good samaritan
Zumvault@reddit
Neither of us were there, neither of us know OP personally.
I'd refer you to the above references to adults being hyper-alert around children and water due to horrific past circumstances, but surely you'd have had to have read that so... the fuck?
OldERnurse1964@reddit
Tell the police there’s an old man that appears to be masturbating while he watches your 13 year old daughter sunbathe.
billymumfreydownfall@reddit
And say he's holding a gun in his other hand
sfgothgirl@reddit
this should be higher
asicarii@reddit
And taking photos…. And pointing a gun. They love that.
DenialZombie@reddit
"Alright boys we got an armed 3-armed geezer to send up the river!"
"Wait, sarge, is that 3 or 4 arms? How many of the arms are guns?"
beagletreacle@reddit
Say he was taking photos…
GNav@reddit
Fuck that, I'd call the fire marshall or city saying there's something up with the structure, bury him in paperwork.
eleinamazing@reddit
Something something asbestos removal?
Sejanoz@reddit
Honestly this is it, OP
syllo-dot-xyz@reddit
Reporting sex crimes which you didn't actually witness, out of retaliation, probably harms victims more than you realise..
Civiserrvsbabes@reddit
I mean, its sort of already a sex crime.
syllo-dot-xyz@reddit
It's creepy as hell, but unfortunately in this world, people can legally be creepy, and they abuse the fact that it makes people angry to the point of false-reports/exagerations, which allow them to abuse people even more.
The best way to get someone locked up, is to approach the situation rationally, and not over-egg anything you didn't see for sure.
Popular-Drummer-7989@reddit
If he's not on the sex offenders database yet he's clearly on his way.
Irrelephant808@reddit
Or you could jerk off to him while he watches out the window. Hold Eye contact. If he says something "what, it's not against the law to jerk off in my own home"
Irrelephant808@reddit
Obviously out of view of kids, or just make the motion for him.
NorthvilleCoeur@reddit
It would probably make him stop better than anything else
OldERnurse1964@reddit
At least find another window to look out of
Poundaflesh@reddit
Take a pic of him watching her. On your front lawn post your own sign using the pic, “Neighbor watches my 13 yo daughter every time she uses the pool.” It’s true, the photo is proof, you’re not slandering him, let people draw their own conclusions.
ZZCCR1966@reddit
LOVE THIS❣️
QueenPooper13@reddit
If you wanted to really fuck up his life (and probably do a considerable amount of questionable work), you could post his cell number on the dark web, asking for a specific type of highly inappropriate material (you know what I mean...). Post that you will share pic-for-pic. Wait a few weeks, then call the cops and tell them you think your neighbor is in possession of those inappropriate pictures. He won't be your neighbor anymore.
Pesticides-cause-ASD@reddit
That will get you in jail with him because it would constitute conspiracy
PomegranateBoring826@reddit
One of my classmates had this same issue. They took their creepers name, address, and phone number and signed them up for all kinds of nudie magazines, sex toy catalogues, gay porn, daily bread and Bible pamphlets. They even submitted their number to a daily alarm clock phone call service and anonymous std notification service.
miseeker@reddit
Way back. Teen daughter and her pack of 13 yr old friends swimming and sunbathing all the time. Neighbor was a distant relative my kids called Uncle. He about 35 ish. Comes over one day commenting on their bodies and my daughter said “ what’s the matter UNCLE PERVEY NO WOMEN YOU OWN AGE WANT YOU”? Yup..that’s what they all called him to his face after that.
whiplash-girl-child@reddit
record him looking out the window that faces your pool, or set up a security camera facing that window.
Dry_Huckleberry5545@reddit
I do think this is a remarkably humiliating and 100% within bounds countermove. Not sure how the pool/fenceline/old pervert's window layout is, but in the best case scenario you'd have devastating minutes of footage of this man standing there watching a teenager. Just letting him know you are recording him every time he does this might be enough to stop it.
I have no suggestion for the sidewalk use but my god, does this man not know that kids running around playing is the sound of a safe and prospering neighborhood?
bmusgrove@reddit
Impeach him. Wait is this about Trump?
UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit
Your post or comment was removed for violating rule 12: No politics.
Heavy_Spite2105@reddit
Can you block his line of sight to the pool? Use a mirror to reflect the light into his second story window.
koz-j@reddit
Or use it to melt the siding on his house.
Wit_and_Logic@reddit
Straight to energy weapons, I like you.
ShrimpSherbet@reddit
😂
beadzy@reddit
This is the best idea
beachbum818@reddit
Take photos of your coffee table, fridge, end tables, lamps, TV. Create a posting on craigs list for each one. Lowball price or OBO. State you work nights and sleep during the day, only call from 89pm-6am and then post his phone # in the ad.
SIgn him up for more info from the Army, Navy, Marines, Scientology, Jehovah's witness.... they dont like to take no and will call everyday. They've got quota's to hit and will be persistent. You have his address too...sign him up for their mailings.
Jerking_From_Home@reddit
U-Line catalogs. He could have a heart attack trying to carry 20lb catalogs to the trash a couple times a month.
Jerking_From_Home@reddit
Go outside and start eating a banana. Casually drop the peel on his front steps as you walk past.
Poundaflesh@reddit
Get a megaphone and use it to call out his creepiness, “Why are you watching my daughter? Go back inside pervert!”
DontCryYourExIsUgly@reddit
Google, "Sign up for texts," and just go down the list of results, inputting his number.
Fibonoccoli@reddit
I saw something like this here before; put some fliers on bulletin boards or in phone booths around town with his phone number announcing a $100 prize for best Chewbacca impressions. Advise callers the phone lines are open between 1 and 4 AM Monday - Friday
MissStatements@reddit
Get a pic of him in his window looking at your daughter and post it on Nextdoor asking for advice on how to handle an old neighbor who likes to stare at children.
Industry_Signal@reddit
If you can get his email, pledge donations to shitty non profits and or Mormons and Scientologists.
Trusting_science@reddit
See if he is in on the sex offender registry of all else fails.
MyyWifeRocks@reddit
Or send out fake sex offender notices with his name, address, and picture to everyone in the neighborhood.
Fearless-Ratio-6922@reddit
This is a libel suit
EndOk3109@reddit
Post his number with a fake picture of some model on some escort pages under men looking for men. Someone did it to my buddy once and the amount of unsolicited dick picks he received was wild.
JudgeJoan@reddit
You have lots of ideas but also... put up an umbrella near the pool so he can't see your daughter. I would actually call the police about that. Report him as stalking and spying on your minor children.
Goldilocks1454@reddit
Put up a signs in your yard saying all pedophiles creeping on young kids will be shot on sight, survivors will be shot again.
vozzov@reddit
Disappointing lack of piss disks in these suggestions.
UserCheckNamesOut@reddit
Drop Chip will deliver a huge, free pile of pretty crummy looking mulch pretty much anywhere
LastLostCause@reddit
Free, you say?🤔
ichbeineinjerk@reddit
Yep. getchipdrop dot com. Sign up, tell them how much you want and they will let you know when they will drop it off. Used them twice so far. 10/10
Otterman2006@reddit
oh you mean the free chip scam? /s I love their ad ha
ichbeineinjerk@reddit
Mulch. Arborists/ people who get paid to chop down trees drop off free mulched trees. That way, they can dump it for less than a landfill would charge.
It’s not a scam. I’ve ordered from them twice, used it to mulch some flowerbeds and use as a substrate to grow oyster, lion’s mane and maitake mushrooms on.
I’ve never seen their ad. My wife told me about them. You say they are a scam. Did you sign up and never get a call from them?
Otterman2006@reddit
What are you talking about, 1. I used \s denoting sarcasm and 2. at the end of their informational video on their website, their rep joking asks a customer if this is a scam and she jokingly replies “ya it’s a free chip scam”.
ichbeineinjerk@reddit
I didn’t know that \s denotes sarcasm, my bad. Thank you for teaching me that and for including a link for the chipdrop ad. I found it funny af.
Otterman2006@reddit
Yea! It’s a hilarious ad haha. I’d use the service but I wouldn’t be able to store a large donation
jtrinaldi@reddit
First time home buyer as of October who is too cheap to pay $30 per yard for mulch given how much I need. I’m on my fourth drop / over 50 yards total this year and it’s saved me so much money while being better quality than I was expecting for the $20 drop.
daaaaamntam@reddit
UserCheck’s tip checks out: https://www.reddit.com/r/NativePlantGardening/s/nQHjN72roW
LastLostCause@reddit
Lol is it bad that when I first read it, I skipped the word "mulch" and thought it was cow chips? 😆
Practical-Cook5042@reddit
I was happy with the quality of mine. Ymmv.
ichbeineinjerk@reddit
*chip drop
nontenuredteacher@reddit
I'll just leave this here:
Poopsenders
Important_Bed_6237@reddit
buy one of those big square floodlights and angle it enough so that when the pool is used he sees light. turn them off when pool time is finished. it stays on your property. i don’t know about the legality. also to deter vandalism some kind of net or metal screen… 🤷🏽♀️
CollegeWaffles@reddit
Sign up for quotes on auto insurance broker sites. And health insurance.
Pavame@reddit
Post his number somewhere where the internet can absolutely demolish him (not doxxing or anything like that)
Pavame@reddit
Laser pointer to the eyes. Can’t watch your daughter if the fucker can’t see. 🤷♀️
Schmed_lap@reddit
You’ve got his phone number, just make flyers for a Chewbacca impression contest and state that people should call that number and leave their best impression on his voice message
Maddy_egg7@reddit
Can confirm - people will call
tilldeathdoiparty@reddit
This has been done and played out.
Post it in a public washroom at a check stop and tell everyone this number wants to see pictures of your shit
hamfwb@reddit
Done. Yes.
Played out? Only one way to find out...
Hugenicklebackfan@reddit
Vinegar works best as an herbicide at higher concentrations.
Rachel_Silver@reddit
You could do the key prank. Go on Etsy and buy a bag of old keys. Affix a tag to each with his name and number. Turn them in all over town, saying you found it in the parking lot. I suggest strip clubs, lingerie stores, sex shops and elementary schools. If you want, you can give it a little boost by getting his name not quite right or adding a comical and/or horrifying business name.
im_no_doctor_lol@reddit
Keep ordering pizza for him. Use his address for any and all contest or sweepstakes, if he has a lawn, make an additional on craigslist saying "free grass, you just gotta come get it" (I'm not a lawyer... Or a doctor so something something you're an adult figure it out), spray grass killer and spell out "pedo" on his lawn, spread bags of salt all over his plants and lawn, the old "sugar in the gas tank" is always a hoot, spray window etcher on his car windows, crack eggs on his car or put crayons on his windshield wipers and spray his windshield with hairspray so he's forced to see the rainbow in the summer, "flaming bag" never gets old, throw sugar all over his yard or dump it nearest the kitchen, respond to gay personals with his number attached.... I don't have you tried prank calling? 😅
TheFattestMatt@reddit
I'll take his phone number. I work nights with lots of free time.
ChopCow420@reddit
Wait until he's creeping at the window and shine a laser in his eyes
stedun@reddit
1 watt green laser.
The_Arch_Heretic@reddit
Sidewalk chalk with big ol' arrows with "Creepy perv" pointed at his house. Or next time he's perving on your daughter change the scenery by sending her inside and sunbathing nude yourself out there (I'm assuming you're a guy). Ask him if he likes what he sees. 🤣
DuneheimAstronomia@reddit
GIVE US AN UPDATE FOR GOD’S SAKE
slothslothslothsloth@reddit
Honestly, I would put up a few cameras that face his house, and when you gather footage of him, I would report him to the police just so you have a paper trail of him doing this. For added measure, maybe you can say something like "I've already asked you, but can you please stop staring at our 13 year old daughter when she is in the pool. You are making us uncomfortable" As far as I know, it isn't illegal to have cameras on your own property. You could even put up a big sign above your pool that says "Smile, you're on camera" and that may be enough to deter him.
You could even take a picture of him (in public) and put up flyers around the neighborhood about how he likes to stare at teenage girls and make them uncomfortable. Start by leaving one on his front door and tell him they will be distributed everywhere if he doesn't stop.
xXKarmaKillsXx@reddit
Why do you be a champ and get him a hooker.
babbrun@reddit
Call the health department on vague sewer/poop issue coming from his house. The Health dept comes out and they bring the county structural engineer and code person. Worst case, they take up a bunch of his time for a “mistake” or best case, house is condemned for assorted violations lol
SweetFly8631@reddit
That corn subscription mailer packet on TTShop could be a good choice - its anonymous too i think
ELYS_SLUT@reddit
There was a website that would send spam texts and or calls at one point. I used it on one of my old bosses. I think I ordered the package with hundreds of texts within a short time period. Not sure if it worked but it was worth it if it did.
10S_NE1@reddit
Craigslist ad for a brand new iPad still in the box - $25. Say grandson bought it for me but I already have a computer and don’t need it. Shift worker - please only call between 2am and 6am.
Beelzeburb@reddit
Nut the fuck up and beat his ass.
But seriously get the fuck off reddit and protect your child dumbass.
These stupid chatgpt scenarios ruined these subreddits.
Seany2Sweet@reddit
Shoot a laser into his eyes
jonesmatty@reddit
Make sure to use a VPN for all your fun.
Miggidy_mike@reddit
Sign him up for NAMBLA.
kellybass921@reddit
National Association of Marlon Brando Look Alikes?
Miggidy_mike@reddit
Yeah, let's go with that one.
I can't believe the other one even exists.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_American_Man/Boy_Love_Association
celery48@reddit
He might enjoy that…
LaundryMan2008@reddit
Buy some keys and write random names with his number on them, lose them everywhere
Pearl725@reddit
The state of California offers free text alerts for earthquakes, weather and community events. Perfect for Pride! All spam testers get signed up for San Francisco notifications by me 😇
Spirited-Degree@reddit
Go to the Scientology website and enter his number. He's going to hate life.
DesperateArachnid@reddit
Next time just tell the police a man at his address is filming children and yelling obscenities. Have you husband and his friends wear speedos and practice yoga while your daughter swims. Let him see the downward dog.
FinanciallySecure9@reddit
Reach out to one of those TV ads for Medicare. And another for insurance. You have his address too.
The phone calls and mail will keep him busy for a while.
furbishL@reddit
Sign him up for gutter guards. Those folks are ruthless.
s_nz@reddit
What are the laws like around death threats in your area?
In my country threatening to kill or cause grievous bodily harm is very serious (Max sentence of 7 years imprisonment).
Log a few incidents of the neighbor bitching at people using the sidewalk etc. (detailed notes, time, date, words used etc).
Then get in touch with the police. The combination of the threatening sign (implying the neighbor has access to a firearm), and the evidence of the neighbor appearing to not understand that they do not own the public footpath / road should be something they take very seriously.
Keep logging, and submitting each further incident whenever you witness one, encourage your neighbors to do the same, so the police have a clear history of this behavior.
The more complaints the police have, they more likely they are to take action, as it looks terrible for them if there is an incident, and the media gets word that they ignored 20+ complaints....
Salty_Reputation_163@reddit
-Your husband in daisy dukes all oiled up on a pool floatie, making googoo eyes at his window. -Send his address to solar panel companies. They NEVER stop bothering you. -Call a Mormon church and ask them to put him in their prayer book. Also say he’d enjoy house visits. -Church of Scientology as previously suggested. -His phone # in rest stop restrooms as previously suggested. - Free manure and dirt delivery in his driveway. - GLITTER BOMBS in the mail. -Find that place that’ll put creepy lawn gnomes in his yard. Or pink flamingoes. - Place a mirror or something highly reflective near your pool facing his window so he’s blinded whenever he’s trying to stare at your daughter.
resigned_medusa@reddit
Hey now! Pink flamingos are a step too far.
Wishing someone would populate my lawn with them
jadskljfadsklfjadlss@reddit
baseball bat. wear a balaclava, sweatpants, hoodie, and sunglasses. dont say a word.
-AllCatsAreBeautiful@reddit
Also pack it full so it looks like you're fatter than you are. Also get dropped off a fair way from the house, & walk there, instead of just walking over from your house at night.
PuNEEoH@reddit
Get a spot light or flood light and aim it at the window he watches your daughter from when she is in the pool. Turn it on anytime she’s in the pool to deter him from peeping on her. He’ll likely call the police and try to complain about it, at which point you can politely explain that you’ve asked him to refrain from making your juvenile daughter feel uncomfortable in the privacy of her own back yard by watching her from his upstairs window, but he refused, so this was your solution. The light is only on when she’s utilizing the pool and is your way of protecting your child from a perv.
Tiefschlag@reddit
I hear that bamboo seeds are the gift that keeps on giving. Why not sprinkle a few of them in his lawn?
-AllCatsAreBeautiful@reddit
Cos they're gonna spread to your own lawn. Like mint.
pronouncedayayron@reddit
Put the word "groped" over the word shot on his yard sign
-AllCatsAreBeautiful@reddit
One of the best suggestions so far! Simple, effective.
AWholeNewFattitude@reddit
Put up some bushes or trees to block his view or sunshade to block his view. If you have one of those stockade fences that you can’t see through, that might be the end of it, but he may try and find some other way to peep through and just keep blocking him it’s gonna piss him off to the end. I’m sure
NewNameAgainUhg@reddit
Apparently, if you make a small donation and share your data, multiple organizations will share your data and call you relentlessly asking for more money
AdRegular1647@reddit
A large sunshade moumted so that it obscures his view of the pool and your daughter. You could place lettering to share some choice thoughts with him about his activities, too.
elliseyes3000@reddit
Cat Fancy Subscription
user29092021@reddit
He isn't a creep. He is a pedophile. There's not much difference, but enough that specification is key
Other-Resort-2704@reddit
With the security cameras I guess the traditional piss disk is too risky.
You have his contact information. Feel free to fill out forms in his name asking for visits from religious groups like the Jehovah Witnesses, Scientology or etc.
PomegranateCool1754@reddit
beat his ass
weaseltorpedo@reddit
Yeah, I mean he's probably cranking his gross old flaccid hog while watching the daughter in the pool from the 2nd story.
UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit
If you don't have a actual tip, no need to comment.
DGAFADRC@reddit
Classic response. I agree.
LetsHookUpSF@reddit
www.ruindays.com
koz-j@reddit
Not trying to take the fun out of this thread, but I’d research the Sex Offender Registry near you just to make sure he isn’t listed.
Watching your minor child and doubling down on the behavior when confronted really gives me the ick.
Mission_Presence_318@reddit
Ask for health insurance quotes with his cell number
Get his cell on trumps list he’ll be called for donations daily
arouseandbrowse@reddit
Put up a sign by the pool saying, "Footage of paedophiles perving on young kids in swimming pools will be sent to the local news and police"
ishityounot79@reddit
How have piss disks not been mentioned yet?
PoofItsFixed@reddit
Find other Redditors who are being harassed with frequent phone calls from people wanting to buy their house and give them his contact info to share with the harassers as a good prospect.
Fabulous_Creme5950@reddit
Make a listing on wanted pages saying you have free animals like rabbits or chickens and need them gone. Call to see if there are any left
pnwloveyoutalltreea@reddit
You can sign him up for a ton to spam, car dealerships, the moving pod places and political groups. The fellowship for Jewish and Christian athletes is a scam group that will not stop calling from private numbers at all hours.
SansLucidity@reddit
send him some trash in prank mailers like:
secondhand sex toys
gay cruise
seduce your mailman
make sure you pay for him to sign for it.
rightonetimeX2@reddit
Around 10-11pm, go online and start filling out mortgage info requests from every shady bank/website you can find. Every timeshare, every "need a loan asap"...all of them. This works best if you are in the west coast. When New York wakes up, his phone will fly off the hook. I'm in CA, so about 4-5am Pacific time....it will go hard for a couple weeks but he'll be on every scam telemarketer list for years. When he finally changed his phone number, do it again.
Thegreencooperative@reddit
Buy a shirt that says dead pedophiles don’t reoffend. Drop some red paint on it and accidentally leave it draped over his mailbox.
bottomlless@reddit
On the no trespassing sign.
age_of_No_fuxleft@reddit
Google “healthcare plans in my state“ and then sign him up for all of them. Use his name and number to sign up for political party texts.
JeremyThaFunkyPunk@reddit
Sign him up to learn more about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Jehovah's Witnesses, the Church of Scientology and hell, why not the Nation of Islam?
theoddfind@reddit
He looks out his second story window when your daughter is in the pool...sounds like you need to get over it. Ignore it and you'll be a lot happier.
ThrowingMongo@reddit
Well of course, if you can find a way to prove he sexually bothers minors you wanna pursue that. But in the mean time Fish Emulsion fertilizer is the ultimate tool. I'm sure you an figure a way to use it somehow in your particular situation.
zoomcow24@reddit
I can recommend signing him up for some sort of international moving website. I signed up for more info for a couple of those a while ago and they will NOT leave me alone. Multiple calls a day, voicemails, texts, everything. Even after I told them to stop & blocked some numbers.
toolsavvy@reddit
lol
AC031415@reddit
And other lies I tell myself…
Anagoth9@reddit
Use his phone number to get quotes for insurance and moving services. He'll be getting calls years later.
Unclemo2007@reddit
spend an hour or 2 subscribing him to every newsletter/pamphlet/magazine you can find for free.
MaddoxGoodwin@reddit
Have a block party right on the sidewalk in front of him. Maybe post flyers that hes a big old perv.
BildoBaggens@reddit
Find a construction site with outhouses.
Get a sharpie and write: 'Taking a nasty shit? I want to see it! Send a pic. - phone number'
Another fun one used to be Craigslist casual encounters. Go on M4M and write you're looking for a nice cock, the nicest cock gets the call back, text to phone number.
shesavillain@reddit
Send him a post card calling him a pervert
laughingfuzz1138@reddit
Not exactly unethical, but if he's acting as if the sidewalk is his property, yelling at people for trespassing on it, and now putting out a "trespassers will be shot" sign, a GOOD police department would want to check in on that. Sounds like sooner or later he might shoot somebody for using the sidewalk...
Also, creeping on young teen girls may also be illegal, depending on your jurisdiction and what exactly he's doing.
Make sure the calls from a variety of people and a variety of households- of its just you, you risk it looking like you just have a grudge against him.
Mediocre_Baker7244@reddit
I would make ur husband or something go out there bare ass… give him something else to look at he can’t ignore and leave it poor daughters alone.
JeffCogs80@reddit
You could make a few online listing for a really nice but cheap used car. In the listing say you're only available for calls or texts from 11pm to 6 am due to your work schedule and then add the phone number. You could also add his number to a ton of places online that will send him adds and call him incessantly. I hear the Mormons are good at staying in regular contact with prospective recruits.
kylesfrickinreddit@reddit
Post his details anonymously on Reddit with the comment that he sexualizes & watches little girls then let the mob of twisted trolls have fun lol /s
FieryTub@reddit
Post his number on gay hookup sites.
Opt in to receive text messages from local political groups - you know the ones he won't lime.
Follow the Work From Home channels here. There are tons of scam job postings. DM the posters with contact info.
Unevenly cut the lawn so you make his just slightly imperfect enough to notice.
Be outside when the kid is in the pool. Point your phone so he thinks he is being recorded.
Have a Shipt shopper send him long cucumbers and lube.
doctorpotterhead@reddit
Sign him up for scientology
JulieThinx@reddit
Sign him up for spam paper mail. Enter every contest. Bonus points for having a middle name of Ol'Pervert
Naffypruss@reddit
Craigslist ad (Kijiji in Canada not sure about USA) for a free trampoline, or the next big bands concert tickets at a cheap but believable price. Garage sale signs on the main roads.
e1p1@reddit
sign him up as interested in Jehovas Witnesses
SpeedRacerWasMyBro@reddit
Don't forget those Mormons!
freetotalkabtyourmom@reddit
9mm objects. Or something.
Fuzzdaddyo@reddit
Gimme her yer panties
GC414@reddit
Oh, you have his phone number? Great. Go to a public restroom in a lower income area of town, and write it down somewhere. Then follow it with “cheap drugs” or “looking for sex” or something like that. It’ll annoy him to oblivion.