People in the UK – What do you think when you see a guy in his 30's hanging out on his own?

Posted by TouchBudget6316@reddit | AskABrit | View on Reddit | 573 comments

So, I'm asking this as I spend a lot of time on my own due to friends all being in long term relationships and having families, etc. I will sometimes attend clubs on my own where I have noticed both men and women tend to go in their own wee groups and don’t really socialise outside of them. I also love to just be out in nature, taking long walks in and around Glasgow or Edinburgh, or even sitting in a cafe with a book and coffee.

Now, in many of these places I have noticed people look you in a very judgemental fashion. From dirty looks to even overhearing people talking about me and mocking me for being on my own. I have noticed it is especially pronounced in situations where I am sitting alone with a book. I’ll often hear people saying how sad it is that I read, for a start, but also that I’m on my own and mustn’t have any friends or be very fun to talk to, etc.

I ignore all of this, but I have noticed these remarks and funny looks are very common here. So I just want to know, do women in the UK genuinely see a guy on his own and automatically think he must be a loser or even a creep? Guys, would you start chatting to a guy sitting on his own if you saw him when out with friends? Or do you also feel like he must be pretty sad or weird to be sitting on his own and just leave him alone?

I want to know if this attitude women tend to display is mostly a Scottish thing, or is this UK-wide? It isn’t even isolated to my area (Bathgate) as I also experienced women acting weird and talking to their friends about me, mocking me and so forth in Edinburgh, Glasgow and even Aberdeen!

I have posted numerous times on Reddit about my experiences here in Scotland with regards to women and dating, with many positive responses on my looks. I also have had to do presentations and talks in front of large numbers of people (public speaking) for my work and am frequently complimented on how easily I socialise with people and can talk to anyone. Thing is, even in clubs/groups I have attended in the past, guys would stick with their friends they attend with and, when trying to initiate conversation, would just give one or two word answers and try to get away or shut down conversation before it even starts. This I find very odd as 99% of guys in places like my gym etc. Are always willing to stop for a chat or catch up... But its almost like, anywhere outside of places I frequent, people in general just don’t want to socialise with a guy on his own. Even in Glasgow of all places!! But I will say, women especially, have proven extremely difficult and awkward to talk to unless they see you around ALOT beforehand and its a gradual build up over months lol I’m asking as I got chatting to an incredible woman from the US (thanks to Reddit, actually), and she was shocked at the culture difference whereby people will just openly be negative, mean, or even aggressive to people they don’t know here vs the general kind and open nature of people in the US.

So yeah... What are your thoughts or experiences? Any other guys had negative experiences in the UK because they were hanging out on their own? And is it predominantly a Scottish thing, a woman thing, or do people of both sexes act like this all over the UK!?

I don’t really care what people think, but it does feel like I am being constantly judged as a single guy who likes his own company and isn’t afraid to just be by myself doing things and living life. It also makes finding a date or more near impossible here.