ULPT Request - My neighbor is very mad because her dogs bark because of my tree.
Posted by fl4m4bl@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 60 comments
My neighbor has been having a bad financial year. She rent in a place she can not afford. She has 1 one year old kid and 2 dogs. Her husband works 9-9 (7 days a week) delivering packages as freelance.
She left her dogs on the backyard and they bark. They bark as a normal dog will. I have 2 kids. One new born (2 months) and 2 years. Yes we are annoyed about them but we don’t complain. We installed anti sound windows.
Yesterday she arrived very mad because her child could not nap because of HER dogs. She complained that my tree is causing their dogs to bark. She was mad crazy, like out of her mind. I do not responded and ignore her. They also annoyed my kids but o won’t complain back. I think I had enough but I am not confrontational.
The tree is trimmed. It does not pass their property. This was done to avoid issues
What can I do to annoy her more. I am taking of maybe ask their landlords to increase the rent (I know them). Dog whistle to make them bark.
Unethical Ideas?
OblongAndKneeless@reddit
Why do the dogs bark at the tree? Is it full of squirrels?
fl4m4bl@reddit (OP)
She said because of bees
OblongAndKneeless@reddit
The dogs bark at bees. 🙄. She should throw jelly into their yard to get the bees more interested in what's going on over there.
CantankerousOlPhart@reddit
Plant more trees! I like the dog whistle idea also.
Wide-Spend-3215@reddit
My Father paid me to grab his back yard neighbor's wind chimes . Early 20's beer funds .
tallSarahWithAnH@reddit
Yo, maybe make her a casserole or a cake or something. She just needs a break.
coffeeandcoffeeand@reddit
The dogs must have seen a squirrel there once. Dumb dogs will continue to bark where they once saw an animal, even after it's gone. The owner needs to train the dogs. There's nothing else to do.
If you want to annoy her, put something in the tree where the dogs can see it. Make it something that moves every once in a while to get them going.
BourbonSucks@reddit
windchimes
OlDirtyJesus@reddit
By far one of the worst things, most annoying, pointless things man has ever invented. I fucking hate wind chimes.
Either_Cupcake_5396@reddit
I thought it was just me
EdTheApe@reddit
You and me both dude. You and me both.
BartlebyX@reddit
Curse you, yes this works.
ichbeineinjerk@reddit
My wife did this. She took different lengths of aluminum pipe (3-4 feet long) and made a giant windchime for a neighbor that lives across the alley from us. My wife hung it up about 11 feet off the ground near our alley fence.
We hate them, they hate us. Such is life.
OblongAndKneeless@reddit
Making your own is genius because they probably aren't tuned to work together in a pretty sounding way! Dissonant chords are annoying!
ExplorerEducational4@reddit
Scatter bird seed just outside their fence. Birds will proceed shit everywhere nearby, and rile up her neglected dogs even worse. Get some windchimes too
Maybe she'll get so annoyed with their barking that she will rehome them to a family that will actually meet their needs rather than shutting them outside so much
stabbingrabbit@reddit
Corn pieces to attract squirrels and raccoons
Affectionate-Swim772@reddit
And rats. Bacon attracts rats too.
CertainWish358@reddit
Bacon might attract me, too
Many_Customer_4035@reddit
Or abuse them. I would do something that bothers her that doesn't involve the dogs
hybridoctopus@reddit
Draw up an official-looking lawyer letter. Threaten to sue her for the psychological distress all that barking is causing for your tree.
new2bay@reddit
Impersonating a lawyer is considered unlicensed practicing of law. It’s illegal.
redthump@reddit
what part of UnethicalLifeProTips did you miss?
new2bay@reddit
It’s not r/IllegalLifeProTips
redthump@reddit
landmines. throw your dogshit into their yard.
birdmanjr6969@reddit
Fuck them but teaming up with a landlord to raise rent on someone clearly in mental hell already makes me want throw up
Purlz1st@reddit
Your tree did what???
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
The dogs see its bark, so they bark back.
DenialZombie@reddit
Go home, dad.
hindusoul@reddit
Hopefully he comes back home after going to the store to buy a pack of smokes
CuteCanary@reddit
"but Dad did not come back home" - narrated by Morgan Freeman
BartlebyX@reddit
Complain to the city about the barking dogs.
brzrkKr6@reddit
There is a service called gnoming look it up
The_ZMD@reddit
Cover your dog's ears then use a dog whistle
K9intheVortex@reddit
Some of yall have never watched fear thy neighbor and it shows. This woman is batshit. You don’t want to start a war with batshit. That’s how you wind up on dateline
hindusoul@reddit
Dogs are dogs… get them outta the situation if you don’t wanna hear them vocalize about squirrels/raccoons and other shit dogs react to.
Tell her to put them in the fvcking garage…. Take them for more walks to tire them out… they gotta release their energy somehow.
Check on city and tenant laws regarding what animals/pets are allowed and what’s not…
bradbrookequincy@reddit
Get a recording of a siren (fire, ambulance etc). Many dogs will howl when they hear a siren
jadskljfadsklfjadlss@reddit
report her to the humane society.
Mr_McShitty_Esq@reddit
The solution I think about regularly is meat scraps & rat poison. I have to remind myself that it's not the dog's fault, but the owner's fault.
Sooo...
NOTE: Use disposable rubber or nitrile gloves at all times!!! Make sure you wear a long-sleeved shirt and surgical bonnet during preparation. DNA is real & takes attention to avoid leaving traces.
MODS: If not apparent, this post is in jest. I am not suggesting OP follow these suggestions IRL.
Super_Reading2048@reddit
Put a couple of walnuts in the tree way up high, same place in the tree, every day. Squirrels love whole unsalted walnuts in shell & unsalted peanuts (in their shells)!. Dogs bark at squirrels. 😈
OlDirtyJesus@reddit
But one of those inflatable guys you see at the fair or at car dealerships and put it in the back yard “for the kids”.
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubemen
BourbonSucks@reddit
pissdiscs are un-ignorable to dogs.
SassNCompassion@reddit
I love that this is actually relevant this time! Piss discs for the win!
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
Stop trimming the tree on their side. You are not obliged to. Their airspace, their problem.
Paevatar@reddit
Record the dogs. Rig a speaker in the tree and play the bark recording.
twan206@reddit
get her husband fired. if the kids are too hungry they will sort of always in a nap like state and she will stop bothering you
Mr_McShitty_Esq@reddit
Starvation = lethargy
Yup, it's logically sound.
Big-Quality-4820@reddit
Call the department of child services for her kids. Call animal control for the welfare of their dogs. Put bird feeders in your tree. Give the dogs something to bark about, then call the police with a noise complaint.
Mr_McShitty_Esq@reddit
For why? Seems more spiteful than unethical & not useful in solving the problem. I'm not beyond spite, but using law enforcement to achieve that goal... just not my cup of tea.
ranchwriter@reddit
Sounds like she has mental problems. Asking the landlord to raise rent just sounds like a dick move to me.
hotanduncomfortable@reddit
This is an UNETHICAL tip subreddit. Of course it’s a dick move.
Mr_McShitty_Esq@reddit
Point taken and agreed upon. IMHO, it IS a rather dickish move, but what pushed it over the edge of "even I wouldn't do that" is that raising her rent is unconnected to the problem. Seems more spiteful than unethical.
YnotBbrave@reddit
Can the police, if the dogs back too long - many cities have rules about how long a dog may bark before it's a nuisance
Mr_McShitty_Esq@reddit
Here, on the second complaint (the one that brings a $250 fine), you need at least one neighbor to join the complaint with you and the untrained dog owner knows who made the complaint & where they live.
Laws differ by state. Consult your attorney or state/county/city animal control agency for further information.
Bratchan@reddit
Cameras...
Send pamphlets to their house about dogs barking at trees. Something about trees being haunted or that its really just the same color car they have is the real reason.
jeepsaintchaos@reddit
Oh man that's good.
"Your skin makes the dogs bark. You must remove it as soon as possible"
cps42@reddit
Canine (coyote, wolf) urine pellets along her fenceline as far from you as possible. It will attract the dogs to that side of the yard, and keep them coming back to it. Then mix in some other prey scents just out of reach once they get used to the other side of the yard. It will keep their attention over there. They won't be quiet, but they'll be on the other side of the yard.
BrazilianButtCheeks@reddit
Scarecrows all in the yard 😂
Skeggy-@reddit
Asking their landlord to raise their rent? wtf lol. Their lease agreement probably protects them on that one.
Bluetooth speaker. Play 10hr cat loops or other dogs barking to start the bark-a-thon.
Far_Recognition4078@reddit
I love this sub so much