ULPT: how to seek revenge on pickpockets in Europe ( my version )
Posted by Virtual-Tonight-2444@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 101 comments
I have an idea for the pickpocketers in Europe...I am going to wear a FAKE yet expensive bag such as a LV or Gucci or whatever and have a container that is fits the shape of the bag. I will make a content of disgusting-ness and pour it into the container and place it into the bag. This way, when the pickpocketer tries to reach his/her hand into my bag, they will be met with what was meant to be bestowed upon them. What are your thoughts?
lolaposada@reddit
Used maxi pad flipped outward
randomlurker124@reddit
If you really wanted ULPT, line your bag with downward facing fish hooks. Hand can go in, but going out they'll rip themselves up. Maybe some worms too and if police get involved say you wanted to go fishing.
Fabezz7@reddit
Mousetraps bro
Japslap@reddit
With a dye pack that bursts when it snaps.
I'm thinking blue dye
WimmoX@reddit
Why not red?? Pick pocketer will think he lost his fingers for a few minutes
GPT_2025@reddit
Nice! Try fishhooks - the pickpocketer will pay YOU money to get free!
moustachedelait@reddit
They're super sensitive and would immediately set off
new1207@reddit
I wanted to do this when I went to Europe last fall with a backpack.
Gimme_Your_Wallet@reddit
That's probably dangerous for OP and even illegal. However sticky traps are perhaps not the worst idea if you can put them in the bag without them getting stuck to each other or the inside of the bag itself. Maybe gently glueing or taping their backs to the inner bag?
Mosk549@reddit
It’s not dangerous people that pickpocket do it in crowds you are 100% safe in crowds
Miserable_Smoke@reddit
I just keep my money right near my crotch. Then I never carry more money than I'd pay for someone to touch my junk. I always come out on top.
tryingtobecheeky@reddit
Not exactly the best plan but a story. My dad gets a lot of bloody noses for some reason. So it is very common for him to have some Kleenex stuffed in his pocket.
Mom HATES it because he carries them around for ages.
Well he was in Paris and started bleeding so he managed to clog himself up and stop the bleeding. But of course it created a mess of blood and snot.
He put the bloody, used Kleenex in his back pocket and went about exploring the city despite mom begging him to just throw them out. All was well until he was bumped into and heard a sound of pure horror and disgust.
He turned to see a young man holding a fistfold of bloody tissues looking disgusted and afraid.
My dad, able to speak flawless french as it's our native tongue, told him without taking a break that he has aids.
The pickpocketer dropped the bundle and ran off. Dad feeling smug finally threw the Kleenex out to my mom's relief.
inkslingerben@reddit
That gives me the idea of carrying around a pocket full of tissues with red dye from a marker
senadraxx@reddit
Beet juice works just as well. Might be cheaper.
CheckingMyNails@reddit
Depends on whether you want them to think it's blood or if you want to stain their fingers though.
senadraxx@reddit
I mean, that's one way to catch somebody red-handed.
Lmao thank you, I'll be here all week
TomSaylek@reddit
EUROPE IS NOT A COUNTRY AND NOT THE SAME!
Czar_Petrovich@reddit
Nobody said it was.
On that note, the US is roughly the same size as Europe and Europeans continuously and ignorantly refer to it as a homogenous nation.
Sucks, doesn't it?
TomSaylek@reddit
Not the same United States of America. Everyone calls it America becouse it's a mouthful to say all 3 words. Europe and the countries in it are a entirely different concept.
Czar_Petrovich@reddit
You're missing the point.
People are allowed to say "Europe" when talking about Europe. Using your logic people aren't allowed to talk about the US like we're all the same, which is generally what happens when chronically online Europeans want to insult every American for some reason (it makes them feel better about their own insecurities).
New York is not the same as California is not the same as Michigan is not the same as Texas. These places have wildly different demographics and cultures.
Fail
Get-Fucked-Dirtbag@reddit
This whole "US states are about as different to each other as European countries are" line of thinking is sooooo fucking funny.
Let's say you're from California, and after a very heavy night of drinking you somehow wake up in New York on the other side of country. I'm sure it'd be stressful but at least: you can read the street signs to figure out where you are, everyone speaks your language so you can ask for directions to the airport, your money is the same so you can get yourself a big-mac while you wait for a domestic flight that you don't even need a passport to board.
Now let's say you're from Britain, and after a heavy night you somehow wake up in Estonia. You're pretty much fucked. Everything is in a different language, your money is useless, your phone has no signal or Internet access, you can't even leave the country, let alone enter your own, without a passport.
Czar_Petrovich@reddit
I love how you're using quotes to state something I never said.
I never said they're just as different, I said they were different. Is that diffficult to grasp? Speaking about 350 million people like they're all the same is something only morons do.
Another one misses the point.
TomSaylek@reddit
New York and cali are still belonging to the same country. Europe is various countries with their own identities working under a union. You are basically saying Moscow and Vladivostoc are different since they are so far apart and have different countries bordering then and influencing them. You want to win an argument then stop saying childish things like "fail" and such. If you're goal is to correct or teach someone. Otherwise you come off as childish.
Czar_Petrovich@reddit
Nice
Ok_Necessary_8923@reddit
I don't get it. Do you think people are constantly getting pick-pocketed in Europe? You are gonna be wearing a gross bag for years and nobody but you will ever smell it.
Nheea@reddit
Haven't travelled much eh?
Look, I'm embarrassed to say this, but a lot of Romanians went abroad to pickpocket. i can spot them miles away.
I even made the mistake to call one out in Rome last year and they saw that I was also Romanian and started to threaten me. It was a bit scary. What was also scary is how many of them ate everywhere in some countries.
They're horrible.
Ok_Necessary_8923@reddit
Mate, I've literally been to a little under half the countries on the planet by now. Including nearly every EU/EEA member state and a handful of the non-EU ones in the European continent. Yes, including Romania. Nice enough place. Didn't get pick pocketed. Didn't feel particularly unsafe.
You are going to find petty crime everywhere on earth. Nobody is disputing it happens. It's rather how often, actually, in real numbers, relative to similar places (by population, etc.) does it happen. There is nowhere on earth where humans live and crime is exactly 0 all of the time.
In any case, nothing justifies the implied xenophobia/racism in your comment.
Get-Fucked-Dirtbag@reddit
Well yeah, of course you didn't get pickpocketed in Romania. All the pickpockets left, weren't you listening.
Nheea@reddit
Dude, if the subway announcement tells you to be careful about pickpocketing, then it's pretty clear that it's a huge issue.
Just because YOU weren't it didn't mean it's not a problem.
And no, in Ro it's not much of a problem because they thieves are in Italy, France and UK.
FreeformSneake@reddit
Just go to paris
marmeylady@reddit
Milan and Barcelona enter the game
PurpleFirebird@reddit
London calling
Fadeluna@reddit
the game
senadraxx@reddit
Youve lost it
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
Madrid
BigMacTitties@reddit
Paris: Anywhere near the Eiffel Tower Amsterdam: Anywhere in town London: Soho
intdev@reddit
Or just stand on Westminster Bridge watching the cup game scammers.
Ok_Necessary_8923@reddit
Mate, I go yearly, a friend lives there.
Pass_It_Round@reddit
Yeah, I remember a video of a guy wanting to trace a phones location and track down pickpocketers, and the hardest bit was to actually get it stolen. He basically had to leave it on a bench and go, then he'd get strangers chasing him down and telling him off for not keeping an eye on his phone.
Ok_Necessary_8923@reddit
Yeah that tracks. I've had that happen at least 3 times (people running after me to return something). Twice with my wallet, once with my phone.
Gerald_Hennesy@reddit
Venice, Rome
IwokeUpInSOMA@reddit
A bunch of fake blood-covered tissues, still wet. For added effect, could even place a little under your nose to reallly freak them out😄
rividz@reddit
The last time this came up the agreed-upon best approach was broken glass in the smaller pockets of a backpack.
-underdog-@reddit
jelly
Warrambungle@reddit
Don’t bother. Just keep your stuff secure so it’s hard to steal.
Having said that, after we warned my mother about pickpockets, she went to look at Portobello Road Market.
When she returned, her face was glowing with excitement:
“I got pickpocketed! I had my bag buttoned inside my coat like you suggested. I felt something fluttering beside me and when I put my hand in my pocket, the contents were gone. They stole my tissues. Three of them were used!”
NuggetCommander69@reddit
I imagine this must happen a lot.
I hope they enjoy booger fingers
chefboyrdeee@reddit
What a haul they had. Glad it was only tissues, though.
RespectfullyBitter@reddit
I love this story so much!
MagicBez@reddit
I once had a glass bottle of water shatter in my bag, shards of glass everywhere in there. Putting your hands into it was an absolute death trap
chicken_tendigo@reddit
This is the way. You just wanted to bring a taste of home with you. Too bad home tastes like an entire Prada bag full of Tabasco bottles that got dropped on accident two stops back on the subway.
S_A_R_K@reddit
This situation calls for the rarely used piss sponge
chicken_tendigo@reddit
I see your piss sponge and raise you a ketchup pad. Sticky side up in the bag.
b0sscrab@reddit
Spaghetti noodles
chicken_tendigo@reddit
Cold spaghetti. With sauce.
TurbulentEbb4674@reddit
Tape a razorblade to the inside of the wallet flap right at the top
SimpleTomatillo1384@reddit
Used needles
ManyThingsLittleTime@reddit
Rat trap paper is incredibly sticky. Just saying.
PerniciousSnitOG@reddit
You are an evil genius (sir/madam/other)!
Lord_OSAMA8@reddit
You forgot horse and dragon and wolf
Mondashawan@reddit
Whatever you put you should also put a dye in it. That way you can easily identify the pickpocket!
Gidje123@reddit
A few herring
PNWSki28622@reddit
Saw another post in here recently suggesting to carry broken glass
quietguy_6565@reddit
Fiberglass fluff soaked in dark blue dye/ink would be better than carrying around a bag full of shit and piss discs. The fiber will act as a sponge and wick the dye onto their hands, they'll be marked for LEO's and that itch is something that stays with you.
Plausible deniability that you "picked up some of this off of craigslist or equivalent" for a/your childs art project hell even make a listing just to be safe, euro cops take hurting their poor disadvantaged criminals very seriously and are more likely to charge you with possession of a destructive device before dealing with actual criminals. Hell make sure ink/dye isn't a regulated chemical as any interaction with the law is going to hurt you more than them.
Sea_Bear7754@reddit
It's better to loudly harass them and take pictures and video. As you can see, she wasn't pleased. We saw her again a couple days later and we just kept following her it was so funny.
Sea_Bear7754@reddit
This is the same group from that guy on YouTube
clownandmuppet@reddit
Get a fistful of thumb tacks in the bag, should elicit a reaction
Unilted_Match1176@reddit
Sometimes, you like to take your pet scorpions out for a walk and some fresh air. So what?
thesamiad@reddit
They should make stickers you can stick on their backs without them knowing,everyone else would know and only another pick pocket would tell them that it’s there
rectal_warrior@reddit
They don't work alone there's always 3-5 of them, they would notice straight away.
Best thing to do would be lock the cunts up
PresidentSkro0b@reddit
This is what I don't understand. I was in Paris for a week and after just a few days it became very easy to spot these groups.
Why doesn't the city do anything about it? I feel like they could stop this if they really wanted to.
As someone who has spent a ton of time in major US cities like New York, I've never once been concerned about my wallet in my back pocket. Meanwhile Paris had more pickpockets than you can count.
intdev@reddit
They're very good at melting away whenever police (even undercover cops) turn up. There was a video on the BBC the other day of cops resorting to dressing up as Batman and Robin to catch them unawares.
PrimaryMethod7181@reddit
If the French are anything like the Spanish they figure that being light on pickpocketing makes the perpetrators less likely to commit violent crime and therefore keep the tourists coming.
BigMacTitties@reddit
In Amsterdam, I saw an undercover cop take down a pick-pocket. At first, I didn't know what was happening. Instinctively, I was going to help the pick-pocket who was yelling for help because I thought the cop was just some rando attacking another tourist.
The cop knew exactly what was going through my mind and he gently motioned towards me in a subtle, but nonverbal, authoritative way that said, "Don't interfere."
Then, the cop started talking on his radio, which was hidden in his clothing. The cop executed excellent side-control, so he either had a background in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu or wrestling. The pick-pocket was whining that he couldn't breathe because the cop was too heavy, to which the cop replied, "I'm barely 80 kilos. If you couldn't breathe, you couldn't talk."
It was very satisfying to see.
gunnie56@reddit
Fake tracking devices that look legit, and that are "owned by Interpol or the local police" that also suggest "turn yourself in and you may be offered leniency"
GodsCasino@reddit
watch the YouTube video about Bob Arno in Naples infiltrating the pickpocketing groups
rubadho@reddit
Just get one of those shorts against Pickpocketers https://pocketbuxx.com/products/festivalhose-1-pack
PerniciousSnitOG@reddit
Seems a little full on. Have you considered itching powder?
DiskoB0@reddit
Pour some Fresh water and 5 live piranhas in the LV
I_Like_Vitamins@reddit
Piranhas would be very unlikely to attack them, even if you chummed the water.
llllangus24@reddit
then you'd have to carry a massive bag filled with sludge? there's definitely better, lighter options if you're even going that route. If you keep your wits about you, you probably won't even be touched
Scabsack@reddit
Not to mention the person willing to put their hands in someone’s bag are 100% the type of person that would just wipe off that sludge on the person carrying the bag lmao
pb1984pb@reddit
Then consider stabbing them
ItPutsLotionOnItSkin@reddit
Bag of nastiness surrounded with razor blades or broken glass
VodkaMargarine@reddit
Novichock
UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit
Your post or comment was removed for violating rule 8: No tips about rape, murder, suicide, or in general any tip that would violate the Geneva Convention laws.
Fadeluna@reddit
Хахахахах
Ok_Knee1216@reddit
I thought this was Xanax!
Cacoethes-Ensues@reddit
Why specifically Europe? I’ve lived there for 25 years and never been pickpocketed. You’ve got more chance of being run over by a trolleybus.
Muttywango@reddit
Just the touristy places like Eiffel Tower, Trafalgar Square etc.
peachMango90@reddit
During the Paris Olympics Americans rigged their pockets to shock the pickpockets. You could do that but I think they got in legal trouble
elizaroberts@reddit
Fill it will used sanitary products, hypodermic needles and razor blades, all facing out so that they do max damage to unsuspecting fingers.
RonanH69@reddit
Liquid ass is the only thing you need in the bag.
Bongcopter_@reddit
Just put a few rat traps in the bag
Scooter-breath@reddit
Liquid p/discs. Nice.
Efficient_You_3976@reddit
If we look at this from the pickpocket's point of view. I have just tried to pickpocket this person and my hand is covered with disgusting crap. What do I do? I wipe it off on my victim's clothes/face because I"M STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM!
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
Why "expensive"? Do you mean expensive looking?
takegaki@reddit
lol. It’s fake but I’ll make sure it’s costs me a ton. Then fill it with horse shit.
OverlappingChatter@reddit
Youre the one carrying disgusting shit around in your bag all day. You are not going to singlehandedly stop pickpocketers.
jerryjerusalem@reddit
Line the bag with some anti cut/peirce material and just fill it with used needles, you can probably find all the used needles you want in a sharps container in you local McDonald's bathroom
ThirteenDays@reddit
razor blades 😆
ADelightfulCunt@reddit
Don't put razors standing vertically as you pull your hand out your rip of loads slices of your skin.