Is it considered bullying to make posts / videos about someone. But not naming them?
Posted by worldworn@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 27 comments
I am struggling to understand what (mainly the school) would be classed as online bullying.
My eldest has been shown several videos made by a classmate that are very clearly about them, but never mention their name.
All negative, all fairly immature stuff. While my eldest has a good head on their shoulders and can shrug most of it off. It can't be allowed to continue.
The school have been a bit crap about dealing with stuff like this before.
So while I've got a meeting booked to see someone.
I'm just wondering if I push it on the bullying stance or not.
Virtuous-Patience@reddit
Kids pushing the boundaries of the rules is kids nature, the school needs to clamp down as all the kids in school will know who it is about. Bullying should be defined as anything that the bullied reasonably perceives as bullying. Not mentioning a name in the content but making it clear through insinuation or through inevitable rumour does not change the intent…
Sea-Topic-8019@reddit
I'm sorry this has happened to your child. It's unacceptable.
Without scaring you, I saw my friend go through this (online bullying) with her daughter. Just awful stuff and it escalated quickly. Please take action
MagicalParade@reddit
It’s definitely bullying if it’s obviously about your child, is out there for other pupils to share and laugh at, and your child’s name has been withheld as a means of evading punishment.
caniuserealname@reddit
It's obviously bullying, the problem with that sort of bullying specifically is that while it's typically very obvious to the victim, the bullies and those immediately surrounding them.. that subjective obviousness doesn't lend itself to objectively proving bullying, which is what the school needs to be able to demonstrate to do anything.
It's also important whether this is happening within school or not. One of the biggest hurdles the modern age has brought for children is how interconnected they've become outside of school as well as in. The schools reach and responsibility diminishes greatly outside of school, and it would become an issue that the school can help mediate, but not necessarily one it has any power to actually affect.
Remember, schools only get their authority because they're responsible for your children during school hours and on school grounds. Once you're out of that environment you get that authority and responsibly back from them, and it becomes your job to resolve with the other kids parents or your job to escalate to the authorities if that doesn't work.
S_lyc0persicum@reddit
Whether it is about your child or not, the other child should not be making that kind of content. It promotes an environment of cruelty and unhappiness.
If you take that tack, that the videos are wrong regardless who they are meant to be about, that might be more fruitful.
Suitable-Fun-1087@reddit
It's considered libel
PrestigiousCut9597@reddit
Do you know what a block button is? You can use it, yknow... especially if no names are used.
worldworn@reddit (OP)
Not helpful or useful.
Telling someone to just ignore bullying doesn't do anything to stop it, and it needs to be dealt with properly.
Besides I already stated they have been ignoring it, I also said that they were shown the videos rather than seeing them first hand.
BeeOnYouAt@reddit
https://x.com/tylerthecreator/status/285670822264307712
desertterminator@reddit
So my aunt/uncle and their kids had this problem and the school refused to do anything until the police became involved and then they were all hands on deck. It will probably come to that in your case as well. In their case, school argued as it wasn't on school grounds and outside of school hours it wasn't their problem pretty much; this stance changed when the police contacted them.
Jayatthemoment@reddit
It’s not that it’s not their problem, it’s more that they have little reach in controlling whether kids make videos not in school time or on school equipment. There’s only so much they can do.
desertterminator@reddit
They could be proactive about the situation. Have the kids in for a chat, notify their parents of a potential situation going down, warn that police may become involved if things don't settle down - that's a first response. Secondary response, and one of self-preservation for staff, would be to organize some kind of anti-bullying lesson or assembly or something. In most cases this would be enough, where shit parents are involved then yeah the police are probably the end-game.
HOWEVER, there are big staffing shortages across the education sector, which means you've got subpar personnel being put into optimal positions of responsibility by default. Happens in all industries suffering this problem. Then once you have these people in charge, the word "proactive" goes out the window and the "blame game" kicks up into the 11th degree.
Ruu2D2@reddit
I had two colleague in formal job do this about me and another colleague .
They got final warning and one got sake ..even when unions were involved. As it was class as bullying
XihuanNi-6784@reddit
Yes it definitely can be. I did a brief stint in communications and I had to look up libel laws. Obvious allusions to a person without naming them can constitute libel if it's clear who you're talking about. The same applies in schools and workplaces I would think.
another_online_idiot@reddit
If a person can be clearly identified as a result of the information and the obvious intent of the production is to cause shame/embarrassment or harm of some kind then yes, it is bullying.
SarkyMs@reddit
I would guess it's like recognisable data in your business. If you can work out who the data refers to by the information there it is not anonymous data. So if everyone can work out this video is about your son. It isn't an anonymous video.
itsfourinthemornin@reddit
Push it, and keep pushing it. We didn't get as far as any videos or anything. We let him add friends to xbox finally and it's caused nothing but arguments and bullying between them. Some awful text messages and voice messages, comments at school, etc. Some very awful threats at school, including telling my son they'll "kill him". That was a definite final straw for me, as I consider it death threat regardless of the age and actual intention. I did not stop getting on at school as I felt it was unacceptable a child was able to make threats like that and still be able to be around unsupervised or nothing being done about it.
Best I was getting was "x happened today", rather than actually doing anything to deal with it and get it stopped. Took it to the headteacher and 100% threatened to go further if they didn't pull their fingers out.
A few of them came to blows earlier in the week over an accidental football pile-up, one asking to fight, my son walked away and said no. Luckily a teacher appeared at the right time, took them all in, got them sat down and talking. Main bullies parents are splitting and they are living with grandparents, couple in the same circumstances in that they live with grandparents or their parents are separated. I've been asking school to sit the kids and parents down the entire school year about this. Already resolved and they all get along now realising they have or having to deal with similar things!
Oli99uk@reddit
Yes. Your child is there to learn - not to deal with this crap.
The school is a business. Most people forget this as it's been something we all grew up with and probably tolerated some level of bullying. Their service is your childs education and if other clients are interfering with that, they have a duty to sort it out.
Raise it in person and follow up all verbal meetings in writing.
Ok_Aioli3897@reddit
I mean what are they about
Outrageous_Ad_4949@reddit
Attention seekers thrive if they see their targets paying attention to whatever shenanigans. Best to exhaust all other options before giving this classmate the satisfaction that your eldest is affected by their bullying attempts.
Your eldest could use a hobby to occupy their time and increase their self esteem, if they're bothered by whatever crap a classmate might conjure up.
Depending on age, you should also remember that teens don't listen to you but still look up to other adults, their friends' parents for example, for guidance. You could work this out to your advantage..
RoyalRelation8136@reddit
Is there anything which could be deemed offensive in the video? Tell the school you are going to the police if so.
peppermint_aero@reddit
Whether or not it's officially bullying it's definitely unacceptable behaviour for children to engage in making nasty videos online. School needs to act
chefshoes@reddit
you now get people like joey swoll on social media outing those doing these videos now.
its a bit like keyboard warriors, online trolling without identity, filming from a safe distance without actually confronting it.
must feel brave as nails from afar.....
_Sad_Ken_@reddit
I would, absolutely. I've been through similar with schools. They don't want to tackle it. They told me that they'll only look into bullying that happens on school grounds (so Discord didn't count) and I should contact the Police instead.
bishibashi@reddit
If it’s also clear to the school that the content is about your eldest then yes absolutely. Schools are dictatorships, not courts of law, you don’t need jury level proof, just the staff to be on side.
Ricky_Martins_Vagina@reddit
It definitely constitutes bullying and harassment, regardless whether he's specifically named.
If it's assumed that the viewer will know who it is referring to then it's basically the same thing.
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