We live in the funniest timeline.
Posted by NightOwl1702@reddit | 4chan | View on Reddit | 181 comments
Posted by NightOwl1702@reddit | 4chan | View on Reddit | 181 comments
Warden04@reddit
"It all ran like clockwork"
Ok
Kingofcheeses@reddit
Seeing this high-school shit go on in the US government is hilarious. I miss when politicians were dignified, like when H.W. Bush barfed on the Japanese Prime Minister to establish dominance.
My country hasn't had a mighty leader since Chrétien choked that protester with his bare hands
abdullah-van-damme@reddit
yup, US politics is ass right now.
the stock market on the otherhand 🤑🤑🤑.
acart005@reddit
Don't forget when Dubya dodge the shoe. That fucker doesn't get any respect for some pretty great reflexes by an older dude.
IV-65536@reddit
Huh? That's the only consistent and repeating thing people have said in response to the shoe over the last 20 years.
riversofgore@reddit
Twice! Smiled laughed at the guy and waved off secret service. It was a pretty badass moment imo. Wonder whatever happened to that guy. I'm sure nothing good.
oby100@reddit
That guy was fine. Nothing happened to him and he talked about it years later. I believe he had some kind of prominence in Iraq so it’s somewhat worth looking him up if you’re interested
acart005@reddit
Fucked off to his ranch to paint and farm. Occassionally hangs out with the Obamas because they are friends now. Goes ro church and occassion Mosques to show penance for the racism that came from the war on terror (I know that sounds like white washing but that REALLY seems to bother him).
Say what you will about the guy but he did fuck off with grace and I really don't think Gore does a better job with the Middle East. People forget the left and right both wanted blood for the blood god after 9/11.
Krono5_8666V8@reddit
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again.
imperfectalien@reddit
He realised what he was about to say halfway through and then had to pivot. At least he had the awareness to avoid giving the media a clip of him saying "shame on me".
oby100@reddit
Imagine falling for such an obvious lie lmao. “I may have sounded like a dumbass, but it was for the right reasons.”
psiphre@reddit
no he fucking didn't
bobqjones@reddit
yup. he brain farted halfway through the sentence and reached out into his memory...and grabbed The Who.
i hate the guy, but that's TOTALLY something half the country would do (me included), but he just happened to be on TV at the time.
Cole3823@reddit
Now watch this drive
bobqjones@reddit
"a-heh-heh-heh"
he laughs like Muttley
Spartan6056@reddit
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
palmerry@reddit
There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, 'Fool me once, shame on...shame on you.' Fool me—you can't get fooled again
Rubber_Ducky_6844@reddit
Fool me once, shoe on you
The_New_Overlord@reddit
He might have been a gibbering war clown, but he knew hot to dodge a mean shoe, I tell you what.
rstrstrs@reddit
The country bumpkin persona is just a character like in wrestling. It makes them more affable and relatable. Not saying Bush was a genius, but Clinton took the same notes.
DJDemyan@reddit
Yup. If you go watch his debates and addresses from before his presidency, he’s actually very well spoken and intelligent.
Thezza-D@reddit
Yep
wordjedi@reddit
Say what you want about W (not forgetting the whole torture thing), he did what I would do after leaving office: shut the hell up and go enjoy your retirement
TheRealApoth@reddit
"Are you saying I can dodge shoes"
"No, George, I'm saying that when the time comes, you'll have to"
OliverMonster1@reddit
Twice. What a fucking G.
kswimmer811@reddit
Don’t forget the perfect heater of a first pitch after 9/11
7w4773r@reddit
Now watch this drive!
Kingofcheeses@reddit
Heheheh
ExperienceLow6810@reddit
The thing I love about that video is that through it all, George bush just looks like, slightly amused at the scene that’s unfolding, while the secret service just converge on this guy
Original_Staff_4961@reddit
This shit is embarrassing, but the government hasn’t really done any of the side stuff.
Elon is going full meltdown but he’s no longer in the government. All Trump has said is he will be cutting Elon’s federal money.
ISIS_Sleeper_Agent@reddit
I had to look that up and was amused by this based potato farmer:
He almost became a legend 😔
CPriceRun86@reddit
Not as much of a legend as the wi-tu-lo / ho-lee-fuk prank call that was actually fucking confirmed by an intern at the NTSB who clearly did not give two shits about his job. That call always makes me roll laughing.
edbods@reddit
if it was KTLA 5 the news anchors would've been pissing themselves laughing
ISIS_Sleeper_Agent@reddit
Well obviously. That was objectively the funniest and most amazing prank in human history. That guy is a true hero
Sgt_major_dodgy@reddit
I just wish it was back to "Now watch this drive" times.
stlyns@reddit
Don't forget that time Joe shit his pants immediatly after farting in the Pope's face.
BrainArson@reddit
Wat.
stlyns@reddit
Joe met the Pope, looked like he was gonna lean in for a sniff, then abruptly stood up, turned, and blew out his diaper mere inches from the face of a now horrified and disgusted Pope.
P0pt@reddit
joe was one of the most entertaining presidents, sadly it's joever now
ILoveWesternBlot@reddit
the memes were great. Everyone made fun of him. 2016 Trump was also funny in that regard.
2024 Trump is not only less funny, but you can't make fun of him without half the country seething at you
dark_eboreus@reddit
it's joever has so much utility. i'll be sad when it dies just like thanks obama
Hotdogman_unleashed@reddit
That was right after he told him about "the great negro" satchel page.
chiefoogabooga@reddit
Paige. Put some respect on the name of the negro who made Joe shit his pants.
GlitteringFutures@reddit
The pre-fart adds velocity to the shit: tactical.
JootDoctor@reddit
The US is run by your average Pakistan/Indian/Middle Eastern dictator now. All the same tactics and humanity that that ensures.
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-Neeckin-@reddit
I wish Trudeau had boxed more people.
chiefoogabooga@reddit
Too busy tongue-punching the fart box.
leastemployableman@reddit
Chretien was too based. We didn't deserve him
mischling2543@reddit
Chrétien was unironically a top 5 prime minister. If the Libs would run someone like him again I'd vote for them.
buy_tacos@reddit
When Mr. Cheney had a problem with someone he took them out in the woods and shot them. Not to kill, just to teach a lesson.
Look at how far we've fallen.
Flying_Saucer_Attack@reddit
Man this shit is all staged. They in on it together
fistofthefuture@reddit
Sure buddy
Alternative_Device38@reddit
I ran like clockwork when it came to stealing money from the lower classes
TheAmurikin@reddit
It's a quote from breaking bad lol
ApeAss69@reddit
waltuh
doxenking@reddit
Lol they're both walter though. Mike is too humble to exist in politics
Isneezepepsi@reddit
I am not crazy! I know he's on that list. I know Trump was on that list. One name after Clinton. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just—l just couldn't prove it!
Starbonius@reddit
Elon said Donald is on the Epstein list lol
EverclearAndMatches@reddit
Does it matter if he won't prove it? Just whiny words from a guy with a drug problem otherwise
cplusequals@reddit
Zero chance there even is a list. It survived two of the leakiest presidencies otherwise. Trump is listed in the files but we've known that for ages because he took flights with his family between FL and NJ. And he came up during the Virginia Giuffre suit where she denied witnessing his involvement. There's little reason to take Elon's tweet seriously as this is a common rhetorical tactic journalists use when they want to make a point they know they can't support. Technically true statement that makes the reader infer more than is true.
TheOGFireman@reddit
Trump was also a very good friend of epstein and talked about how they both like ladies on the younger side. Shit has been obvious
cplusequals@reddit
You'd have to explain his lack of flights to the island and also how none of this leaked when Garland was running the DoJ and every single private detail about the classified documents case was made public. Considering Trump physically removed Epstein from his properties for getting handsy with one of his underaged staff...
If you believe in the magic list at this point, I'm looking at you like you think the moon landing was fake.
YanniBonYont@reddit
Im not sure where the truth is, but here's my rebuttal:
A) you don't have to go to the island. Epstein trafficked those girls all over
B) Garland doj did it's job. Why expect a leak?
C) if the classified docs are public why aren't they releasing the classified docs?
D) there's video of Trump saying Epstein liked em young. Ok how did he know?
E) there's video of Trump talking about going back stage at his beauty parents to leer at underage girls. Literally from his mouth.
F) there is sworn deposition from one of the girls describing giving a hand job to Trump with silk gloves because she looked liked his then 13 yr old daughter evanka.
Maybe he is or isn't on whatever, but the man is human shit
Fucanelli@reddit
They had to invent a poorly thought out Russian collusion narrative and brought everything they had to bear on Trump keeping classified files for himself trying to take him down.
You telling me you honestly believe they would go through all that trouble and then sit on evidence that Trump pedophiled with Epstein?
YanniBonYont@reddit
What did Garland do exactly? Cases brought on hunter Biden: 2, cases brought on Trump: 0.
Trump, the victim of injustice, is a fiction
quandjereveauxloups@reddit
Let's assume, for this exercise, that Trump is known to be completely faithful to his wife. (I don't believe it, but it's for the sake of my point.)
If he was friends with Epstein, there's a good chance Epstein spoke to him about young girls. Whether to gauge interest or brag, it doesn't matter.
Now, a lot of super rich people like that aren't going around airing dirty laundry, so it makes sense Trump never said anything before.
It's incredibly likely that, being friends, Epstein would have said something to Trump.
Now, back to reality. My point still stands, it's incredibly likely Trump knew regardless of is/how much he participated. That probably would have happened just by them interacting with each other.
I have no doubt that Trump abused underage girls, but I have no proof.
YanniBonYont@reddit
I agree entirely.
He's def on the list. Hell he's probably been to a few didn't party's. I think he's seen more sex drugs and rock and roll than any president, but I doubt he is a pedo.
But I wouldn't be surprised if there was a 16/17 yr old he misread and got mixed up with
TDSGoldenSun@reddit
Lmaoooo
ZMowlcher@reddit
Epstein had other properties Trump visited. Don't forget Trump also loved walking into underaged pagent contestants changing
chiefoogabooga@reddit
Donald said Elon is deported lol. Checkmate motherfucker!
Starbonius@reddit
I genuinely hope it just devolves into shit like this
chiefoogabooga@reddit
The whole point of re-electing Donald was for the memes. Everything else is just gravy.
Foriegn_Picachu@reddit
Can’t wait till Donny tries to running for a 3rd term for the memes
elephantgropingtits@reddit
chicanery
Smathatic@reddit
Couldn’t keep his fingers out of…
Mama_Mega_@reddit
Nothing like seeing someone on the Epstein client list point out when someone else is on the list.
BongWaterRamen@reddit
You think this is something? You think this is bad?
rudyofrohan@reddit
HE DEFECATED THROUGH A SUNROOF
Setkon@reddit
Wasn't there something about him pissing on somebody in Russia?
Chi_Cazzo_Sei@reddit
The other way roud iirc. He was pissed on by gorgeous babes.
Chilling_Dildo@reddit
Where do all the old style 4chan people go on the internet now? Because it certainly isn't 4chan. I say this as a casual observer.
cucumbercat7@reddit
2008 /new/friend here and im here.
Maleficent6541@reddit
Most old people left because most of the posts are bait posts on the same topic.
Chilling_Dildo@reddit
Yeah but where did they go? Where is the current wretched hive of scum and villainy?
Snoot_Boot@reddit
Instagram. Go to the comment section on a reel of a 🏀 doing something bad. The most liked comments are things like "usual suspect," its hilarious
EmperorTMing@reddit
Twitter's pretty wild these days.
in_elation@reddit
What the hell is Twitter? Do you mean X? Do you mean X, the everything app? Do you mean X, home of Grok?
testingafewthings@reddit
@grock is this true?
Rubber_Ducky_6844@reddit
More like a load of crock
Absolutemehguy@reddit
How about you get a load of this glock?
I_AM_YOUR_DADDY_AMA@reddit
No, fuck you
VulpesVulpix@reddit
@gock is that true
nixielover@reddit
For the indian jokes you have to go to Instagram
juandebuttafuca@reddit
'le timeline' Reddit reddit reddit
Chilling_Dildo@reddit
Exactly
terrible_misfortune@reddit
they're here, just like everyone else.
Seikodenier@reddit
The 12 year olds who would have been the backbone of 4chan are now on soyjak party. It’s incomprehensible
CPriceRun86@reddit
It's all fucking Europoors who joined in the last few years. Don't believe me? Make a comment about how you're proud to be circumcised and watch heads explode.
Monsieur-Lemon@reddit
Internet user discover the passage of time.
toxyy-be@reddit
8chan
Angel_OfSolitude@reddit
I'm betting the Tesla shareholders are holding Musk's balls to the fire and that's why he's coming out so hard against Trump. But that won't stop people from being terrorists towards Tesla owners.
sloecrush@reddit
My heart goes out to them
Aardvark_Man@reddit
Tesla as a brand is cooked imo, it's too late.
Doesn't matter what Musk does, he's too attached to it and it carries his stink with both sides of the aisle.
ThirdHoleHank92@reddit
Time heals all, especially in this 24hr news outrage we live in. It'll be forgotten in less than a year if Elon just keeps himself out of the news
pantsfish@reddit
I'm still seeing Teslas with "I bought this before Elon went crazy" bumper stickers
cleverkid@reddit
Yup. 100% No one remembers whatever shenanigans were going on a year or two ago. I remember at one point Pelosi was calling Trump fat he was calling her Ugly, that consumed the news cycle for a day or two while they were gluttonously gorging on adrenochrome in some hellish bunker cackling together.
TheRarPar@reddit
Specifics are forgotten but feelings aren't. Nobody has good feelings about Tesla.
Plenty-Wonder6092@reddit
Only simpletons.
chisana_nyu@reddit
Which won't happen, of course.
_Empty-R_@reddit
Anything that slows adoption of electrics satisfies me. Don't get me wrong, alternative powerplants are required. Just you know, not by the general public any time soon. Just changing commercial and industrial vehicles would fix our emission problem. Hate that the government always shovels shit at the general populace.
Unknown_User_66@reddit
Oh my god 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Rholand_the_Blind1@reddit
Having money you need exponents to calculate causes mental illness in humans. We need to level cap these people at $1B total combined assets or face higher levels of dystopian annihilation
fidogetto@reddit
G
Prematurid@reddit
Is he talking about trump or elon?
HeadEmptyBigWood@reddit
Funny how cutting USAID spending and DOGE are the only good things to come out of this administration.
chiefoogabooga@reddit
Don't forget deportations! Watching libs protest over child molesters getting kicked out is my personal favorite.
Oh, and the fact that almost zero corporations are playing pride month "We've got tuckable bikinis on sale!!" commercials. That's pretty legit too.
Both-Pack7114@reddit
Do conservatives only care about culture war BS like this
Kainraa@reddit
Yes. You could stomp their heads into the ground but as long as they can see gays getting owned they don't care
Okamana@reddit
You being sarcastic?
HeadEmptyBigWood@reddit
Don’t tell me you actually disagree with those things do you?
ILoveWesternBlot@reddit
tf did DOGE even do besides download everyone's data and fire some randos? None of the cuts they suggested made into that stupid ass bill and we're only increasing spending
HeadEmptyBigWood@reddit
You said it yourself, their cuts didn’t make it into the bill. Doesn’t mean they weren’t going to make cuts, they were just denied. Government needs to cut and by a lot.
cplusequals@reddit
That's not how the process works. DOGE cuts were to previously allocated funds. Budget bills are new allocations. You can't cut previously allocated funds by allocating more funds. But you can omit future allocations which will get worked out in appropriations. USAID is almost certainly not going to get any funding come appropriations. For DOGE cuts to go through Congress will need to pass a rescission package or an appropriations bill targeting last year's budget.
cplusequals@reddit
Those have to go into a rescission bill or an appropriations bill. I know they're both "cuts" but they're completely different types of cuts. One is cuts in the sense that "we won't fund this in the future" (the budget bill). And the other was advising cuts to previously allocated funding from prior budgets (DOGE).
Only if you count not increasing taxes as spending. Really the complaint is that it cuts less than it decreases projected revenues by not raising taxes.
Froggiejaks@reddit
Amazing the world has turned into social media wars about bullshit. Can’t wait for the sun to go boom honestly.
Lego-Under-Foot@reddit
The funniest celebrity breakup in a long time
oby100@reddit
Hate to see people using this picture out of context. Trump is merely imploring Elon to smell his finger, as it has been somewhere devious that Elon will similarly delight in.
Tommy2255@reddit
He just got done grabbing her by the pussy.
__redruM@reddit
Which way was she facing? That’s the mystery of the finger.
SleepWithYourWife@reddit
She was twelve, but twelve year olds are easy when youre the President and you've deported her family. They call them unaccompanied, more like unconscious. Amirite?
truth_2_point_0@reddit
Sir that's not a twelve-year-old that's ex-President Joe Biden
tuna_noodles@reddit
him*
Impossible-Glass-487@reddit
Elon will grant a one time payment of $15,000,000.00 and ongoing monthly payments of $30,000.00 if the pussy which was grabbed will subsequently accept Elon's sperm into its uterus and therefore allow for Elon's sperm to become a strong human embrio that will exit the birth canal and become a human being, god willing, and one day may in fact go to Saturn (from Mars of course haha) but the mating will of course be done via artificial insemination as Elon will not be touching anyone.
Dqueezy@reddit
His finger is gonna smell like Epstein island
Lower_Hat@reddit
Brigette Macron’s gaping fish cellar?
__redruM@reddit
So, who’s speaking?
Trump and Elon going nuclear on each other is pure gold. Elon learning the hypocrisy of politicians is great. “No deficits don’t matter if it’s a tax cut, deficits only matter if it’s spending.”
Foriegn_Picachu@reddit
Why is that everyone close to Trump eventually turns on him? Pence, Mattis, Bolton, Kelly, Tillerson, and now the Musketman himself. Hell even one of daughters turned away from him.
rstrstrs@reddit
Because he (Trump) uses people in the transactional sense, once that purpose is served, they are fodder for tossing under the bus.
misterpoopybutthole5@reddit
Did Trump start it by canceling the SpaceX contracts or did Elon start it by bitching about the BBB?
Lonely_Eggplant_4990@reddit
What are the odds that Trump punched him in the eye?
TheGardiner@reddit
Can someone fill me in on what the actual fuck happened here? I know Elon stepped back or whatever, but where’s all this fallout coming from? I feel like I’m 2 or 3 weeks outta the loop.
circlejerker2000@reddit
God damnit...is it too late to short Tesla?
iamAliAsghar@reddit
Elon is really Autistic Nazi, lol
Jenings@reddit
So this is all just this weeks episode of the dumb fuck Americans are easily distracted S02E003isn’t it?
chiefoogabooga@reddit
Why would anyone believe Elon? He's a Nazi...right?
Watching the media try to figure out which side to take here is top kek!!
WernerWindig@reddit
this idiotic mindset is the downfall of us all.
PM-ME-YOUR-NIPNOPS@reddit
Anon is as delusional as ever.
More at 11
Razerbat@reddit
Ah yes... The honeymoon phase is over
Demonweed@reddit
Who woulda thought that Joe Biden would be totally cool about finding drugs in the White House and Donald Trump would be the one to crack down on advising while under the influence.
Paradox@reddit
Anyone who paid attention? Trump is many things, and one of them is a teetotaler.
camelyoga@reddit
he’s a predator and a racist
nikoll-toma@reddit
i love that burgers decided fuck it, we gonna entertain the world and vote in the biggest regard in existence
TrumpDesWillens@reddit
"Well, try this one and I'll say it just once. Tell you what, we could've had a good life together! Fucking real good life. Had us a place of our own, but you didn't want it, Elon. So what we got now is DOGE. Everything's built on that!
"I wish I knew how to quit you."
"It's because of you, Trump, that I'm like this. I'm nothing, I'm nowhere."
juandebuttafuca@reddit
Reddit
wordjedi@reddit
Says he put him into office (dint mention that saved him from a few dozen more felony prosecutions) but can't get along for six months
They deserve each other now kith
greystar07@reddit
Cringe tumblr joke
eL_n1N0_@reddit
Guess this image answers, who the incels are siding with
convasanse@reddit
this is so sad
millees@reddit
Gotta love Breaking Bad
PristineSquash3999@reddit
hi what happened again?
Rubber_Ducky_6844@reddit
Elon tweeted that Trump is in the Epstein files, that's why they haven't been released
PristineSquash3999@reddit
thanks
z3r0c00l_@reddit
Is the text about Elon or Trump?
Rubber_Ducky_6844@reddit
Was wondering the same
Zesty-Lem0n@reddit
This would be more fitting if trump wasn't the exact same brand of r*tard. The pot calls the kettle black. In BB, Mike was able to commit to treating it like a 9-5 where he just did what he was told, so he had a moral leg to stand on, lecturing walt for his ambition.
LordWetFart@reddit
I hate to see 2 alphas having a gentlemen's disagreement
Marcus_Aguiar@reddit
🐺 there are 2 alphas inside each one of us 🐺
and they're both male hhmmmmmm... they're kissing hmmmmmm
xpacean@reddit
He already has as much money as he’d ever need. He’s just doing it for world-historical ego ketamine shit.
el_smurfo@reddit
Even in lifts, trump can't be 5'10"
Starbonius@reddit
"Elon pull my finger, the funniest thing anyone has ever seen is going to happen if you do."
WendyLRogers3@reddit
1937 was better. FDR sent his VP, John Nance "Cactus Jack" Garner to lead the unfortunate US expedition to Wackyland, Africa, in pursuit of the Do-do bird, mineral wealth and black slaves. And the $6 trillion dollars (US) bounty for the Do-do bird would easily repair America's economy from the stock market crash and Great Depression.
isnortmiloforsex@reddit
This is the moment he became Nuremberg
socialcreditor1984@reddit
Run like a clockwork? Sure. A clock shoots springs into your peeholes.
blackmobius@reddit
Apparently, in this big beautiful bill, are things that make all EVs more expensive or taxes or something. And since Tesla is strangely, rapidly falling out of favor all over the world, Elon decided he needed to do something
Oh well
upyoursize@reddit
Put ya dich away, E-Lawn. Don't make me tell you again.
the-dogsox@reddit
Drugs are bad, m’kay.
stlyns@reddit
Why do I feel like that's how that conversation went? 🤣😆
Turok7777@reddit
Nothing runs like clockwork in that administration lmao
Reachin4ThoseGrapes@reddit
"Umm, so....all my life I wanted to be a gangster"