Is it common to give guests gifts at weddings in the UK?

[-]

Alert-Loquat1444@reddit

I don't think it's traditional. I don't remember wedding favours at the various family weddings back in the 70s and 80s. I think it's more recent and maybe an imported tradition.

[-]

Nope. Usually the only thank you gifts are for bridesmaids and groomsmen. The other guests get a piece of the wedding cake. They're supposed to give you presents, not the other way round. Later, you send thank you letters for their gifts to you.

[-]

HirsuteHacker@reddit

Wedding favours are extremely normal, I've never been to a wedding where we didn't have a favour on the table with our place setting.

[-]

AnxiousAppointment70@reddit

Those little bits on the place settings aren't really thank you gifts though. I thought OP was talking about something more substantial. Having said that, the cost adds up with a larger event and I think people should feel free to avoid the expense.

[-]

HirsuteHacker@reddit

They said small gifts or favours

[-]

Capable-Potato600@reddit

It's common! I made beeswax candles in the shape of chubby bears (we're getting married in a wood). I gave out a few testers and people loved them.

....and if they don't, they can always set fire to them 🤷🏻‍♀️

[-]

DangerousMango6@reddit

We made our own spiced rum. Bottled it, wax sealed it and decorated all the bottles.

[-]

Capable-Potato600@reddit

That's awesome!

[-]

VioletDime@reddit

Last wedding l went to, the name card on the table was a hand written story from either the bride or the groom, about a shared experience with you. 'Do you remember when' kind of thing.

It was so touching and must have taken them ages to do them for all their guests. We framed ours, and have a lovely memory of the day.

[-]

steadfastun1corn@reddit

That is lovely - that’s the stuff

[-]

Ok_Elderberry_5690@reddit

We all received iPods at a wedding in 2009 but since then there’s been covid.

[-]

Chrolan1988@reddit

Not all weddings, probably a 50/50 hit rate. As someone who held hosted a wedding I thought:

Champaign Canapés 3 course meal with wine Cake Evening Buffett Waffle cart £1k behind the bar & a thank you card posted afterwards was enough for our guests 😆

[-]

crankyandhangry@reddit

Yeah, I feel like people would prefer a nice dinner and food to favours.

[-]

HirsuteHacker@reddit

At most weddings the bride & groom will give favours and sort out nice food as well though? Favours aren't that expensive, or they don't have to be. Think we spent about £150 on them, which is pennies compared to most other wedding expenses.

[-]

Illustrious-Divide95@reddit

It's quite a modern thing that's become fashionable. I got married this year and didn't.

IMO it's totally unnecessary and most people will put these nick-nacks in a drawer and forget about it. Better of spending money on food/drink/entertainment

(I've had 2 weddings!!)

[-]

Streathamite@reddit

Funny you think it’s a modern thing. In my experience it’s quite old fashioned. Can remember favours being a huge deal from weddings in the early 90s. Haven’t been to any weddings with favours recently as most people (at least in my circle) seem to realise most of their guests don’t want their homes filled with tat from every wedding they’ve attended so no point spending money on something that’ll be chucked in the bin

[-]

Illustrious-Divide95@reddit

I've been going to weddings long before the 90s so i guess I'm a bit older. When I say it's a modern thing I mean it's not a traditional thing to do. Something that became popular in the 90s and early 2000s feels modern to me

It's just age and perspective I guess.

[-]

ruby-lost@reddit

Not new at all, first recorded in 16th century, popularised in 17th century France aristocracy with the giving of bonbonnieres- small sweet boxes. As sugar became more affordable, became a popular tradition amongst all social classes.

[-]

Illustrious-Divide95@reddit

I was talking about my experience of going to weddings for 50 years in the UK not 16th/17th century France.

I would argue it's not a common thing traditionally in the UK until relatively recently. Certainly weddings in 70s and 80s and most of the 90s it was not common for ordinary people to give wedding favours at weddings

Googling the history of them and quoting another country and wealthy/ aristocratic 17th Century habits is not what the OP was asking.

[-]

ruby-lost@reddit

You clearly stated it wasn't traditional, history says otherwise. The practice has been around for a long time. French court influenced lots of uk court traditions, until they eventually trickle down to the lower classes. It was written about in women's magazines in victorian Britain. Queen Victoria had wedding favour ribbons made for her wedding. Its well documented the influence her wedding had on uk society. Just because you personally didn't experience it in your social circles doesn't mean it wasn't traditional in the UK. As with many traditions, they fall in and out of fashion, so whilst they may have reached peak popularity in the 90's, to flat out state it isn't a tradition in this country until then, is factually incorrect.

[-]

Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

If by modern you mean new, that is not at all true - it is a very old tradition and it’s not limited to the UK.

[-]

ODFoxtrotOscar@reddit

Wedding favours are fairly frequent, but for every nice one there are probably a dozen or more that are tat (and sometimes even not taken by the guests)

Those who want to reduce costs are usually advised not to do them, as guest are generally not bothered either way

[-]

ElocinP03@reddit

Yes usually the bride and groom give favours to the guests that are there for the wedding breakfast. We had a "tea" themed meal as we were feeling jolly British lol, we put a wrapped teabag (Yorkshire), a small teaspoon, a sachet of sugar and a piece of shortbread in the favour bags at all the place settings. We also tied all the ladies names onto flowers that matched the decor, so they had a flower each, and the men had little superhero themed lego men with their placeholders attacbed, yes the men got better ones haha. I think most weddings I have been to have given personalised cookies with the date of the wedding and "Mr and Mrs....", also lotto tickets and scratch cards I have seen used as favours.

[-]

MadameDePom@reddit

Our guests got a toy dinosaur, a kinder egg and a caramel apple (October wedding).

[-]

Hot-Frosting-1192@reddit

Wedding favours - couple of quid per guest is the norm.

Som people opt to just buy everyone s drink at the bar.

At ours we gave everyone a £1 scratchcard, some sweets and some wild flower seeds.

[-]

ljofa@reddit

I’ve been to weddings where they gave out a potted flower to guests. Usually to symbolise the couple

[-]

steadfastun1corn@reddit

Favours is typical, just a little show of appreciation. For the uk I’d probably do something like small carved handled umbrellas or charging decks and cable

[-]

Baby8227@reddit

Alright money bags! Hand carved brolly my @rse!

[-]

awwthatsadorable@reddit

Hand carved umbrellas or charging decks,???? Very strange!!!

[-]

steadfastun1corn@reddit

I’m a practical person - I’d find giving someone a hanky a bit meh

[-]

UnpredictiveList@reddit

Scratch cards

Shot of booze

Deck of cards at one which was Random

[-]

Baby8227@reddit

Awe love the cards one. That’s a great idea

[-]

Baby8227@reddit

Absolutely yes!

So far I’ve had mini Yankee candles, lots of tablet (Scottish sweet/candy), key rings, shot glass, personalised caricature of my husband and I, a lotto ticket, a scratch card, miniature keepsake gin bottle, personalised wine glass.

[-]

Bptwe@reddit

A hand painted pebble, depicting the stunning outdoor wedding venue (very talented bride)

[-]

zombiezmaj@reddit

Pretty common.

For our wedding in November our favours are biscuits... which also have their name written on them so they double as place cards

[-]

Low-Can7370@reddit

I married last Saturday, my dad died when I was young from cancer but had wonderful care from McMillan nurses - I bought small favours (gold bee pins) & name cards from the charity which have seeds in so guests can plant flowers .. was a nice way I think to include my dad

[-]

dazed1984@reddit

Yes wedding favours are pretty common though not everyone does it. I have received: sweets, fudge, chocolate, a candle, flower seeds, Christmas tree decoration.

[-]

uhohspagbol@reddit

I've been to two weddings with favours. I didn't bother at my own, it just seemed like an extra expense that a lot of people don't care about. We just had cake boxes so people could take a slice of cake home with them. At the first wedding there was a tiny ornamental rose in a little bottle that I immediately lost, either at my grandma's or in the taxi. It was cute, but I wasn't particularly fussed about losing it. At the other wedding there were iced biscuits with the couple's initials, but they didn't taste particularly nice if I'm honest.

[-]

WaltzFirm6336@reddit

When my English friend married a Welshman in Wales they gave each guest a few Welsh cakes in a decorative wrapping.

Probably the best I’ve seen, since welsh cakes are great when you have a hangover, so most guests ate them the next morning and really appreciated them.

[-]

bopeepsheep@reddit

The 5 sugared almonds is part of my family culture but I detest them and one of our guests was allergic, so we made up bags with two jelly babies, two jelly rings, and a little pack of Love Hearts.

[-]

TransatlanticMadame@reddit

We went to a wedding last December where each table place setting was marked by a personalised Christmas bauble/ornament. Absolutely ingenious idea - not only did it make it easy for us to find where we were sitting, but we now have matching baubles with our family names on them.

[-]

PatTheCatMcDonald@reddit

For one dreadful moment I was reading this in Glasgow dialect as 'everybody got a personalised bawbag'.

I nearly died laughing, and yes my eyes are giving me problems.

[-]

MrsCosmopilite@reddit

Years ago when I was working in a department store, we sold bawbag baubles that had something to do with a testicular cancer charity. Still got mine, it goes right at the bottom of the tree by the trunk every year. Classy.

[-]

lochjessmonster@reddit

Ooh I did this for my wedding too! It’s nice, every year the guests send me a pic of their bauble on the tree!

[-]

Strict_Ad2788@reddit

What a lovely favour!

[-]

Welshbuilder67@reddit

Favours yes, a small bag of sweets we did for our wedding

[-]

Wraithei@reddit

Skip the gifts and give them an open bar... Actually scratch that, even nice gifts would be vastly cheaper knowing us Brits 😂

[-]

LzzrdWzzrd@reddit

We gave our guests little succulents!

[-]

External-Praline-451@reddit

Cute! We gave a pretty packet of wildflower seeds good for pollinators.

[-]

bobbingblondie@reddit

I think a wedding favour is fairly normal, usually something pretty small. We did a bag of shortbread (homemade by me and packaged by my aunties) and a £1 bet on the Grand National (courtesy of DH) which just so happened to fall on our wedding date. I think 2 people won £100 or something. A lot of my friends did a wee bottle of gin/whiskey etc.

[-]

LillyAtts@reddit

My friend had a big pick 'n' mix station at her wedding, with little personalised paper bags. If I ever get married I'm stealing the idea.

[-]

Dr_Vonny@reddit

Went to a small wedding last weekend and the only thing we were given to take home was a piece of wedding cake in a box

[-]

KickIcy9893@reddit

We gave seeds from flowers we grew in our garden. If sown they would flower in time for our anniversary the next year.

[-]

Identifiable2023@reddit

Please don’t start normalising favours at weddings. Totally unnecessary and often just more tat. Even with the nicer gifts about half will go unappreciated.

[-]

JackyRaven@reddit

The idea of small wedding favours has been around since at least Victorian times. It used to be 3 sugared almonds in a net wrap/bag to symbolise abundance. I've never (in 67 years) been to wedding without. They don't have to be tat!

[-]

capnpan@reddit

I got given a sewing box from my great uncle's family and there was a cute box which was a wedding favour - it had a tights repair kit inside! For when people would repair nylon stockings. I imagine it was very helpful at some receptions!

[-]

Identifiable2023@reddit

I’m roughly the same age as you and have been to lots of weddings with and lots of weddings without. Sugared almonds are a good example, not tat but unwanted and left behind by about half of the guests.

[-]

kirkum2020@reddit

You don't get invited to many weddings I assume.

[-]

capnpan@reddit

We got mini lovespoons for our guests.

[-]

rumbletom@reddit

Yes but it's more common for the bride or groom to have sex with someone else in the toilet.

[-]

To_a_Mouse@reddit

Inside the bowl? Yes, that is more common.

[-]

rumbletom@reddit

I don't understand, let me guess, you are not from the UK?

[-]

To_a_Mouse@reddit

Eh. Fook off

[-]

rumbletom@reddit

Are you a hobbit?

[-]

To_a_Mouse@reddit

Are you ok?

[-]

Zanki@reddit

My friends made hand written cards for each of us with a personalised message. It also had a pack of seeds and a scratch card. That was really sweet, but it would only work at a small wedding, they only did it for those of us who travelled to their destination wedding. For their party at home they didn't do that.

[-]

buy_me_a_pint@reddit

Everyone got some M and Ms in a jam jar for my sister and brother in law wedding

For my Uncle's and auntie wedding went for small tubes of love hearts

[-]

Buddy-Matt@reddit

Not unusual to give out favours. Typically these are small things found in your place setting for the meal. Small bag of love themed sweets (almonds are traditional, but I've never encountered them personally) are fairly common.

We made our own soap. Small cubes.

Someone thought the soap was sweets and tucked in.

[-]

PuzzleheadedLow4687@reddit

My wife and I both like cask beer. At our wedding we had 3 casks of beer from a local brewery and we got pint (and half pint) glasses printed, which our guests used, beer festival style, and then took home at the end. That was 10 years ago and we know some of our family members and friends still have and use our glasses!

[-]

Buddy-Matt@reddit

We didn't get the glasses, but we did get a selection of 4 ales in at our wedding. (Plus a case of mass produced lager of some description that I labelled the "foreign section")

Last week at a local folk festival I was enjoying a cheeky pint with a mate, and we're checking it into Untappd, and realise we've both had it before. An lo! Turns out one of the beers was "Hobson's Champion" - which I'd totally forgotten until that moment.

[-]

destria@reddit

About 50/50 at weddings I've been to. There's maybe a little box of sweets or a personalised cookie or something as the favour.

At my own wedding we gave out small succulents! They were really popular and people who didn't want one were giving theirs away so some guests took home like five lol It's nice because that was 3 years ago and occasionally I get people sending me updates on how their succulents are doing.

[-]

Comfortable-Bug1737@reddit

I've been to a few and have always got a little favour

[-]

Voodoopulse@reddit

A little nest of sugared almonds

[-]

HurloonMinotaur@reddit

It's traditional that 5 sugared almonds are given to each wedding guest. One each to represent love, health, happiness, fertility, and a long life together. The total number of 5 almonds was also chosen as the number is indivisible symbolising a strong bond between the newly married couple. It is also said that the sweet coating along with the slightly bitter taste of the almonds is symbolic to the hope of the newly married couple enjoying a life that is more sweet than bitter.

[-]

Loose_Acanthaceae201@reddit

Yes, this. I used to work in a posh chocolate shop and we'd do these for customers, with each of the five almonds a different colour as default (though some brides would request theme colours).

[-]

fran_wilkinson@reddit

I'm Italian, married to a British person. I invited an entire family to our wedding in Italy, which they treated as a family holiday. I spent almost €750 on their meals, and they gave me £50 as a gift. Others didn’t even give a gift or a card. One guy gave me a tacky glass rose he makes as a hobby.

So, I suppose in the UK people aren't really used to giving wedding gifts, not like in Italy.

[-]

Jlst@reddit

It sounds like you only invited them to receive something back?

[-]

fran_wilkinson@reddit

No I invited them to my wedding as part of the family.

[-]

Jlst@reddit

Then it sounds very ungrateful that you seem more bothered about their presents than their presence. We told people not to bother getting us anything, just them being there was enough. Your guests made the effort of flying to a different country to celebrate you and you are still unhappy they didn’t give you money?

[-]

fran_wilkinson@reddit

I’ve deleted my previous comments because it came across as if I were just complaining without any context.
I believe that anyone in my situation would probably feel the same, perhaps expressing it less directly than I do.

At our wedding, several mature British guests (not so much our actual British friends) behaved in ways that, from my cultural perspective, were very disrespectful for many reasons.
When you attend a wedding in another country, you should at least take the time to learn about local customs. In Italy, turning up to a wedding empty-handed is considered extremely rude.

There were many other things too: some treated it like a personal two-week holiday and only appeared on the actual wedding day; others made inappropriate or rude remarks about Italians, which we overheard on the day. And last but not least no wedding gifts.

[-]

ProfessorYaffle1@reddit

So, people travelled to a different country to go to your wedding, still gave you a gift, and one person took the trouble to make a home made gift , and you're still complaining?

Most British people give gifts at weddings .

Also, the question was about wedding favours, which are gifts which the bride and groom give to their guests, not what people give to the couple.

[-]

fran_wilkinson@reddit

Of course, from the outside and without any context, it might seem like I'm just complaining or being selfish, but I can assure you, the way we were treated was far more disrespectful. Of course, I appreciate the fact that they came and spent money on their own holiday, with our wedding conveniently in the middle of it.

[-]

gavo1282@reddit

Did they pay to travel and stay in Italy?

[-]

fran_wilkinson@reddit

Yeah, in summer, in an amazing place in front of the sea. How bad.

[-]

TransatlanticMadame@reddit

That must've been a huge cost for your guests - shame you aren't more appreciative of their presence being your present.

[-]

fran_wilkinson@reddit

Of course, I really appreciated that they came, just as I appreciated the fact they took a two-week holiday and only showed up on the actual wedding day. I also appreciated how some of them looked absolutely miserable the whole time. I appreciated the fact that, despite having Land Rovers and X3s parked in their driveways, they couldn’t even be bothered to offer neither a card.

I appreciated that no one made the slightest effort to learn about Italian customs, that turning up to a wedding empty-handed just makes you look cheap. I appreciated how many of them gave us their RSVP the day before we had to confirm the restaurant. I appreciated how, once back home, they did nothing but gossip and act jealous.

Yes, I appreciated many things.

[-]

PurplePlodder1945@reddit

When I got married in 1997 it was tradition to give a little netting bag of sugared almonds. Various things have appeared through the years and now biscuits seem to the trend - had a lovely one in niece’s wedding

[-]

Puzzled-Barnacle-200@reddit

A small "wedding favour" is traditional. I got married just over a month ago, and I made everyone a personalised bookmark for their placeholder at the tables.

[-]

AuroraDF@reddit

It's unusual not to be given a favour at a wedding in the UK.

Most common - sugared almonds. Most Scottish - little batch of tablet. Most recent - personalised hand carved decoration The one before that - miniature of pink gin

[-]

Jlst@reddit

We made homemade lime-scented candles with a wooden heart attached engraved with “Thank you for sharing our special day, X & X.” There were none of them left on the tables at the end of the night! I love visiting friends and family and seeing them on their fireplaces or shelves dotted around.

[-]

ProfessorYaffle1@reddit

I'd say favours are optional, some weddings have them, some don't. People are unlikely to care / miss them if you don't choose to do them.

One nice one I had recently was a matchbox size box with some mini wildflower seedballs - the couple's details and date of the wedding on the box,

Another wedding they gave kinder eggs to all the children, which was good as opening them and playing with / swapping the toys gave them something to do, and the eggs meant something to s nick on before the meal was served

[-]

NaomiBK29@reddit

We had handmade angels that a lady used to make and sell (to raise money) at the hospice where my husband’s mum was cared for as she passed away. We also included a roll of Wine Gums in memory of my dad, as he always had them with him.

[-]

timbono5@reddit

It is sometimes done, but it is unnecessary.

[-]

EndOfMae@reddit

Last wedding I was at had thank you poems written on biodegradable cards with seeds in, so you could plant wildflowers

[-]

TSC-99@reddit

I just got married and we gave charity pin badges as favours.

[-]

Agnesperdita@reddit

My daughter and her husband did this too - the badges were for a charity raising money for research into the type of cancer that her husband’s father had died of a few years previously. They were pinned to a card giving a brief explanation of why the charity was chosen. It was a lovely tribute.

[-]

No_Coast7196@reddit

We did this too ☺️

[-]

visionsofk@reddit

Recently went to a wedding where each guest had a couple of free drink tokens on their place setting. Definitely appreciated that more than something that will get lost in the back of a drawer at home.

[-]

Traditional_Ad_9422@reddit

Te tradition used to be a little voile bag of sugared almonds, and often wedding cake to take home. We did a lucky dip on the lotto for each guest that was on their place setting. A lot of people do a little gift from a charity, like a pin badge or small teddy or ticket for the charity lottery. A lot of people also don’t do anything now.

[-]

Goldman250@reddit

Most weddings I’ve been to, only those involved in the wedding (and small children) have been given gifts by the couple. Though tbf, most of the weddings I’ve been to are couples in their 20s, they don’t really have the budget for getting gifts for everyone who attends.

[-]

dreadwitch@reddit

I've never been to a, wedding where there were any. My daughter is getting married this year lol if people are expecting anything then they'll be disappointed.

[-]

Strict_Ad2788@reddit

Last wedding I went to we got little stripy paper bags with personalised homemade bracelets, funny badges (again, personal to each of us) and some sweets. They were cute.

[-]

kestrelita@reddit

When I got married we gave a box of sugared almonds as wedding favours. A couple of my friends did individual cross stitch / knitted flowers that doubled up as place names and favours. I also had a box of board game pieces, which was cute.

[-]

CarrotCakeAndTea@reddit

I made iced biscuits (cookies) for my son and dil's wedding last year. Decorated with an iced rose and their names on.

[-]

Evening-Situation-38@reddit

I got little bottles of flavoured vodka at one, opened them when the divorce was announced

[-]

weregonnamakit@reddit

Couldnt even imagine turning up to a wedding empty handed.

[-]

jibbetygibbet@reddit

All the weddings I’ve been to (including our own) have given favours to guests. Surprised to see others say less than half of the weddings they’ve been to have done the same, but then we’re well posh innit.

They’re just token things though, not like a flat screen TV or a speedboat. We’re not that posh.

[-]

kachuru@reddit

Probably about fifty/fifty.

A small favour or keepsake for the wedding is a nice thing. But if you don't have a huge budget I doubt anyone except snooty people would hold it against you.

[-]

redmanshaun@reddit

Last couple I've been to have been a little box with a shitty chocolate in. Two if we're lucky.

[-]

AutoModerator@reddit

Please help keep AskUK welcoming!

When repling to submission/post please make genuine efforts to answer the question given. Please no jokes, judgements, etc.
Don't be a dick to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on.
This is a strictly no-politics subreddit!

Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.