Tell me you're now middle aged without telling me you're middle aged
Posted by a_solid_6@reddit | Xennials | View on Reddit | 1535 comments
I slept wrong the other night and had a crick in my neck for 4 days
GumbybyGum@reddit
Trying to cut my toenails is becoming a lot harder.
Skialykos@reddit
I mime a phone with my thumb to my ear and my little finger towards my mouth.
Roland-Of-Eld-19@reddit
When you wake up in pain because you "Slept wrong"
A_RAND0M_J3W@reddit
Even when I sleep right I'm in pain.
Also, I don't seem to need an alarm anymore either. I just wake up at 4 now.
krzykris11@reddit
I always say that you know you're old when you hurt yourself sleeping.
sdcasurf01@reddit
Oh god, I felt this.
Time to go lay on my acupuncture pad. (I highly recommend, by the way, does wonders for the sleep-induced thrown-out shoulder/neck/back… you get it).
Chickenpoopohmy@reddit
Yes, waking up and yelling at my bed for some how hurting me in my sleep is a new thing for me.
Roland-Of-Eld-19@reddit
Or wake up screaming in pain because of a leg cramp so bad it actually feels like your muscle is trying to LEAP off the skeleton haha
red286@reddit
And by "slept wrong" you mean "on your right side instead of your left side", rather than "upside down in a car seat that someone ripped out and put in their living room as furniture".
Roland-Of-Eld-19@reddit
Many things cause you to sleep wrong, slept with a wrinkle on the sheet, slept with too many pillows under your head, slept with not enough pillows under your head, wrong texture of pillow, foot elevated too high, foot elevated too low, slept on your hand, for got to sleep with out a leg separation pillow haha I could go on and on the list continues.... 😜
PerplexedMinds_@reddit
I have a regular shit schedule and look forward to it.
IHatePeopleButILoveU@reddit
I wake up at 5:30 am every day no matter what
Wolfrast@reddit
Naps. Feeling well rested is peak living.
caramelpupcorn@reddit
Alcohol, coffee, and somehow even tea leave me feeling like a worse human being after I've had some.
Wolfrast@reddit
If I’ve had a really good night sleep and I have a full breakfast and I have caffeine around 11 AM then I will have a good time, I drink the Ryse mushroom Coffee, a lot of beneficial mood enhancing mushrooms in there, half the caffeine of normal coffee. But if I’m not feeling well and I didn’t get enough sleep using caffeine is a bad idea. It blocks adenosine which is your bodies way of signaling you need to rest. It’s just borrowing from the time you need to rest anyway. I like to be careful with insecticides.
epidemicsaints@reddit
I took a ten year break from coffee because it made me feel scared. Now I can have one cup, right when I wake up, on weekdays, if I wake up at the appropriate time (7-8:30.) If all of these requirements are met, I have a great time. It sounds extreme but this is 95% of my days.
caramelpupcorn@reddit
I get you. This might be questionable, but I'm perfectly fine having a measured caffeine pill in the morning (yes yes, insert saved by the bell jassie spano gif here), but coffee and black tea specifically give me spiraling depressive thoughts at the end of the day.
Emerald_Eyed_Gal@reddit
I also enjoy a Red Bull and some caffeine pills for my workout prep. I never do that without thinking about how I’m going downhill like Jessie Spano 😂😂
Trick-Coyote-9834@reddit
That sweet Saved by the Bell reference should be at the top of this thread with the Birds. It’s definitely an indicator.
epidemicsaints@reddit
Coffee made me feel like anxiety attack + "trying to quit smoking" feelings and I had to quit. But it fits into my life again.
My bff swears by the pills and I get it, plant drugs always have a certain measure of unknowables, let alone chugging a cup of hot liquid that can send your bowels asunder. She takes a chew right when her alarm goes off and it cured her inability to get out of bed.
That_TeacherLady@reddit
Yes, anxiety attacks for me too! This reminds me of the time when I was an assistant principal and this teacher gave me her special double shot “Colombian” coffee for a big meeting with the superintendent and lawyers and parents. We had to stop for a break because I looked like I was actively in real time on drugs! I was sweating, shaking, jittery, rocking, talking out of turn and couldn’t stop smiling!!! During the break I was like did you lace this shit with cocaine?! She gave me a whole bunch of water lol! Scary at the time but funny now!
EsotericAbstractIdea@reddit
Caffeine overdose is crazy. Makes your brain go too fast for your mind, if that makes sense. It's like all your neurons are firing, but the part that pays attention is just too slow to keep up.
VincentMac1984@reddit
Coffee gives me horrible heartburn. It sucks because I really loved it. About 38 or so I would nearly throw up after a cup
olivesprout85@reddit
“Asunder” that’s all I need to read to know you are in fact middle age! 🤣
nememess@reddit
I switched to half caff in the morning and full decaf in the afternoons. I still need the sweet sweet bitterness of a cup of Joe.
Specific_Anybody8306@reddit
thedarkpreacher65@reddit
balding_git@reddit
i quit energy drinks finally a few years ago and switched to black coffee for the first time ever. i was trying to cut sugar and i wasn’t keen on dairy so, black it is
chubbuck35@reddit
This is the way. Black Coffee is good for you.
epidemicsaints@reddit
I love black coffee, saves so many steps and when it's awful I still enjoy it. Too much cream or sugar or the ratio is off and I can't drink it. I love iced milky stuff but hot I just want black.
Standard_Elephant415@reddit
For me drinking more than 1 cup of coffee strangely correlates to my family acting like assholes that need to be yelled at the whole day 😇
FasterFIRE@reddit
I’m done with both coffee and alcohol this year. Haven’t missed them.
aytchdave@reddit
I got thoroughly addicted to and then kicked caffeine in my 20s. I could drink a couple cups of coffee and two Monsters in a day. I would have a monster at dinner time and sleep like a baby. I think that would actually kill me now or at least send me to the ER.
pea_mcgee@reddit
The other day I was going to buy some Heavenly Hunks cookies at Costco. After considering the purchase for a moment I put them back because they give me heartburn.
caramelpupcorn@reddit
God, peanut butter (of all things...) gives me heartburn. I feel ya friend.
pea_mcgee@reddit
I don’t think I could survive if peanut butter gave me heartburn.
lateral_moves@reddit
I gave up sodium, caffeine, alcohol, lost weight, slept more...still hypertension. Always hypertension.
dandovo@reddit
yes. i can’t believe it but i’ve finally switched to decaf and herbal teas. never thought i’d see the day.
purplecrayonadventur@reddit
Funny, those are the things that keep me going. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
Didjaeat75@reddit
I really only drink water, decaf tea and ginger ale.
Sweet_Explanation824@reddit
Sleeping is now a full contact activity.
Rastus77@reddit
Ouch! That hurt when I got up. Get off my lawn you useless kids, get a job!
SugarMountain97@reddit
I don't GAF about what anyone thinks about me or anything else. I'm mad that I ever cared
Patient_Society858@reddit
“Where are my reading glasses?”
Rainy_Dog_Dais@reddit
I was kissing Valentino by a crystal blue Italian stream. 😘
drayabaya@reddit
I threw my back out for 4 days by grabbing a water pitcher out of the fridge 🙃
Frosty-Cantaloupe308@reddit
Just signed up for that Motorcycle Safety Foundation beginner course!
Invisi-cat@reddit
I’m not middle-aged…
MrsPlace22@reddit
I have a favorite weatherman. He wasn’t on the morning news for awhile, so I had to google why he was gone. Turns out he had a death in the family and had to take care of a bunch of things. But now he’s back and I’m so happy!
Magestrix@reddit
I binge watch Masterpiece Theater.
I still call it Masterpiece Theater.
It's just called Masterpiece.
All hail PBS!
SwedeAndBaked@reddit
Had to buy myself some new New Balance and demote my old pair to yard shoes.
bls212@reddit
My back hurts
VVrayth@reddit
Turned slightly wrong and now sciatica for a week (well, not now, but it's happened -- exercise does help with this stuff, folks!).
Tendonitis, just, randomly. Thanks, elbow!
Weekends = 2-hour afternoon nap time.
Two-and-a-half hour long movie? Why? Just thinking about watching it gives me anxiety.
tlg151@reddit
Just curious, how does a colon cancer screening kit work? I might ask my dr about this at my next appointment bc my grandfather had it and I have ovarian and colon is just a hop skip and jump from the colon.
I always thought the only way to screen for that is a colonoscopy.
VVrayth@reddit
This is a thing that they insist you start doing at 45. So they send you an envelope with a sheet of paper you put down in the toilet. Then you go, poke your poop with this little stick to get a sample, and lock the sample into this little vial and put it into a Ziploc hazmat bag. Then you label it and mail it in the provided envelope. It's really easy.
tlg151@reddit
Weird that mi pcp didn't bring it up. I'm 47. I'll ask her at the next appointment. It's for men and women both yes?
VVrayth@reddit
Yes.
AlternativeSolid8310@reddit
I pulled every muscle in my lower back getting out of that car this morning.
Stina727@reddit
If the parking situation is shit, I’m not going. My eldest child is graduating HS tonight and the parking (or, lack of parking) where the ceremony is taking place, has me contemplating if I wanna go or not. 😂
ARealForHonorDev@reddit
I used to be able to eat anything I wanted without gaining a pound
krzykris11@reddit
I can do that again, as long as it is meat. I went carnivore in February and don't gain a pound no matter how many calories I consume.
fforde@reddit
I experienced this too, but the secret sauce is to just stop eating when you're full. That last taco, the slice of pizza that you want, even though you're already full? Just don't.
Everyone is different but that is what worked for me. Being willing to leave half a burger on my plate because I wasn't hungry anymore.
elysiumstarz@reddit
You're also male, I'm willing to bet. That's exactly what my husband did and he's dropping lbs like it's the simplest thing to do. So frustrating because that doesn't work for me, these days. :(
Trick-Coyote-9834@reddit
I agree with this poster. I’m middle aged and in menopause and I was very overweight when I was young but have maintained the weight loss for 23 years despite the menopause that instantly occurred when I had my lady shit removed. This is one of the absolute key aspects of how I maintain.
It is harder to maintain a healthy body composition but it is possible. I think the most important thing as I age has been focusing on gaining (muscle, healthy habits for aging like higher fiber etc)instead of being skinny which really helps to keep you in a better mindset overall. I just keep thinking that I don’t want to break a hip so I need to do that last set of squats, it’s way more empowering than when I was young and just wanted to look good.
red286@reddit
I used to be able to eat anything I wanted without my stomach taking exception to it.
Now I gotta weigh eating anything with onion in it against 16 hours of heart burn.
dust_grooves@reddit
As a side note, I used to know what made me fat, so stopping it meant I dropped weight like a brick, doing the same thing now has almost zero effect 😢
Sharpshooter188@reddit
Yyyyup. Now you have to stop eating anything that has above 100 calories in per serving and it still takes months to drop the weight. 🫠
hey_celiac_girl@reddit
I often smell like Biofreeze
krzykris11@reddit
Thanks for the reminder. I'll reapply now with the roll-on Biofreeze on my desk.
thedarkpreacher65@reddit
patch, rollon, spray, or cream? I got the whole collection. They figure out how to make Biofreeze bath salts, I am never leaving my tub.
hey_celiac_girl@reddit
I’ve only ever tried the roll-on! Clearly, I need to up my Biofreeze game.
HalfFrozenSpeedos@reddit
That shit is GODLY
bro_cat_82@reddit
My knees hurt... Always...
krzykris11@reddit
Thanks. Now I remember that my knees hurt constantly.
Fairisolde@reddit
I get the double click every time I stand
Tallguy990@reddit
So that’s what Bon Jovi was singing about lol
chifrankie@reddit
My knees are fine… my hip is killing me!
electraglideinblue@reddit
I just had a total hip replacement at 44 years old!
chifrankie@reddit
Welp don’t put the curse on me for next year! I think I can rehab myself still
NopeNotConor@reddit
Ankles for me
a_solid_6@reddit (OP)
Sometimes when I'm jogging down a flight of stairs, my ankle just quits for no reason lol
JennXL@reddit
Sir, how are you jogging down stairs.
bitsy88@reddit
Carefully
Werftflammen@reddit
Just pretend you're four and there is candy downstairs
Dicky_Penisburg@reddit
Ok, I'm in the hospital........Now what?
Werftflammen@reddit
Blame your brother!
Morriganx3@reddit
Pretending you are four seems extraneous in this scenario
Werftflammen@reddit
Untill the age of 5 kids have contempt for death, they kamikaze all the things.
Morriganx3@reddit
Candy > fear of death at many ages!
Moquai82@reddit
So, face forward and rumble belly down the stairs?
Werftflammen@reddit
Freestyle it!
Emjay1310@reddit
Ok, so this is a normal thing for older people. 😂
11229988B@reddit
Sometimes walking from one room to another my left knee stops working
sorrymizzjackson@reddit
My foot does this thing where it feels like it splits in half and just stops footing. Lost $50 a few months ago because I was due to take a pole workshop with heels that day and I don’t have that kind of health insurance.
PetuniaPicklePepper@reddit
Biking with my kids, will I be in agony tomorrow?
bro_cat_82@reddit
Sorry... Yes.
Deesmateen@reddit
My right knee is hurting so bad when I walk
I can’t think to anything I have done in the last 4 days that would do this
Life-Finding5331@reddit
Stay thinking back to old injuries in high school
anitabelle@reddit
My knees sound like Velcro. I cleaned my house and did laundry this weekend and my whole body is sore. Granted I probably went up and down the stairs from the basement to the second floor more than 20 times but that’s ridiculous.
Spamcan81@reddit
I remember when my knees started hurting and thought “neat! A new pain to deal with on top of my deteriorating feet and ankles!”
Azuras_Star8@reddit
I have emergency knee braces in the car.
quinmck@reddit
This. I sprained my knee getting out of an arm chair. WTF.
GrumpyKaeKae@reddit
It takes me 5 mins to stand up straight and walk normal after sitting down for too long.
cardie82@reddit
I’ve had arthritis in one knee since my early 30s. It’s brutal.
freelight0@reddit
Looking forward to a great night usually involves uninterrupted sleep.
Powerful_Wombat@reddit
Still blows my mind that I used to think 11pm was “early”.
krzykris11@reddit
Yep. The cool people didn't arrive at the bar until 11pm, at least that was my paradigm back then.
a_solid_6@reddit (OP)
Same! I remember times when it was like 9 or 10pm and I was trying to decide what to do for the night. Like what the hell 😂 If I'm at home at 9pm, the day is OVER!
Adventurous_Pin_344@reddit
I went to a music festival this weekend, and before the final act went on, the friend I went with suggested leaving around 9:20. At first I thought "no way! We need to stay until the end!" And then 9:15 arrived and I realized that 9:20 was a perfect time to leave.
linmaral@reddit
My husband and I went out to dinner. On way home he comments about being “out late”.
It was 8:45.
Sighlina@reddit
Well, ya, gotta get ahead of the traffic, right?!?
Morriganx3@reddit
This whole comment section is teaching me that I am not grown up yet :/
freelight0@reddit
Good Xennial. We weren't supposed to ever grow up.
Chickenpoopohmy@reddit
9? Wow must still be young at heart! I plan to be asleep by 9 ;)
phobicwombat@reddit
Woah woah woah! It's beddy time with a book BY 9. Whippersnapper.
That_TeacherLady@reddit
9pm is the green light that it’s okay to fall asleep now!
foolaboutahorse@reddit
For real. I have my phone set on "do no disturb" at 930 on the weeknights
BasvanS@reddit
I’m glad to hear you’re not experiencing sleep problems. Yet.
;)
Fappy_as_a_Clam@reddit
I used to drink 4 or 5 beers then leave to go out at 11 lol
I'd leave the club at 2am, go to the diner and eat a whole-ass breakfast, then go straight to sleep.
I can do literally none of those things now. Drinking 5 beers? Nope. Going out at 11? Hell no. Staying out til 2am? You're fucking crazy. Eating a meal then going to sleep? Hi, this is my friend Acid Reflux.
No-Count3834@reddit
This…I’ll stay up on a Saturday till 2am still gaming with old friends, or jamming with my band. But outside that I’m at work by 7:30am. Living in New Orleans in city park, right by the French quarter doesn’t make it easy.
Most single socials,trivia nights and stuff like that is at 8pm weekdays. So I’d be lucky to get 2hrs and dip. Everything is pretty much scheduled in advance with days off for Jazz Fest, and Mardi Gras to at least enjoy something that ends by 7pm.
MarsR0ve4@reddit
Feels like I went from going to bed at 3am to 9pm overnight.
GrateScott728@reddit
Someone asked us to go out to the bar. Said sure what time. They said 10:30. I said ehh no. Wanna be going home by then not out
Life-Finding5331@reddit
I can legit fall asleep as soon as I get home from work. No issue at all.
Puzzleheaded_Hat_792@reddit
I don’t think I’ve had a night of uninterrupted sleep in at least 10 years
Winter-Ad2052@reddit
I waited until my late 30s to have children and thus have no idea what you're talking about
CoachFrontbutt@reddit
Just had one at 41. If I had known the depths of sleep deprivation I would experience I might have reconsidered this whole parenthood thing.
BuzzVibes@reddit
It's okay it gets better after the first five years.
grafknives@reddit
I had my kid in 30. And after the first year or two, my family sleep pattern is perfect.
Daughter goes to sleep, we go to sleep. Simple as that. No alcohol, or movies or gaming later. Just nice sleep until morning. Ok, we are staying late for some marriage activities, but that does not take all that long...
Skullclutter@reddit
Had mine 4 days shy of my 40th birthday. It's a good thing he's cute.
irememberthepotatoho@reddit
Cries in having to go to the bathroom 4 times last night.
Uberbons42@reddit
Mmmm sleeeeeep.
joshyuaaa@reddit
Two days in a row, i woke up at 5 am. I don't need to be up that early especially on a Sunday.
Turbojelly@reddit
I have an alarm for bedtime.
krzykris11@reddit
I have one stop to make on my commute home today and I will not have to leave the house until Monday morning.
DietCokeclub@reddit
Supplement salad before bed
pizzabirthrite@reddit
"Ugh... " Oh no I'm fine that is just the noise I make when I get off the couch now.
robotmonstermash@reddit
Going to the gym helped me with that.
Moquai82@reddit
Do not let me pivot my head to the left or right, you might believe you get shoot at with an autogun.
APFernweh@reddit
“The key to not getting old is to not make noises when you stand up.” - Sophia Loren
Just_Mess2146@reddit
That 29 yo kid at the cash register was really helpful
bendystrawboy@reddit
If you need me i'm gonna be in the garage with no phone staring vacantly into the wall of the garage.
Derkastan77-2@reddit
I (48m) saw a group of the most athleticly fit, gorgeous early-mid 20’s women a few months ago, at the store, in short shorts, skirts, ab-baring blouses…
And my first thought was “omg, why don’t thry have sweaters on?? It’s cold!!”
I lost my man card that day 😭
KittySwipedFirst@reddit
The Bag
FloriaFlower@reddit
I have this one in a plastic containers. You should see my boxes of individually bagged wires.
KittySwipedFirst@reddit
Oh God the cord box, don't get me started on the cord box. It has magical powers. At least you had the foresight to individually wrap them. We used to untangle every wire then two weeks later it was all back together. It was like the rat king of cords.
FloriaFlower@reddit
They're individually wrapped because I've been there 😅
Chattown81@reddit
Sitting in my hotel room on a work trip laughing my ass off! I had to rearrange The Bag I keep in my carry on. Can't be caught without it. Didn't realize that I wasn't alone.
LACna@reddit
Stop calling me out!
AllSugaredUp@reddit
Also the bag of bags
RabbitSlayre@reddit
"I replaced my bag of bags with a tote of totes." That's growing up, right there.
SnoglinMcSmellmore@reddit
Oh snap I hadn't realized it until now. I have too many totes.
Character_Ad_5902@reddit
We also have the tote of totes. We've dubbed it the bougie bag of bags
KittySwipedFirst@reddit
I also have tote of totes.
ClutterKitty@reddit
Stored next to my box of boxes
SnoglinMcSmellmore@reddit
Bag of bags separate bunches for different type of bags.
SnoglinMcSmellmore@reddit
Why isn't this top comment?!
KittySwipedFirst@reddit
In The Bag with all the other mid comments.
PuzzledKumquat@reddit
Oooh, I have a whole drawer full at work!
nahmahnahm@reddit
We have The Drawer. I will use all of this up because my sensitive teeth hate metal utensils.
OpeIndiana@reddit
I now enjoy the Lime Popsicle (flav-O-ice kind) lol
smokiechick@reddit
I'm in the waiting room preparing for my annual mammogram
tlg151@reddit
How old were you at your first? My first was supposed to be 2 years ago but I got diagnosed with a cancer recurrence so I kinda forgot about the mammo and now I'm embarrassed to try to reschedule lol.
smokiechick@reddit
I was 40. I also don't have a history or family history of cancer. I'm supposed to go every year because I have dense breast tissue, but I skipped a couple because... I didn't want to? Everyone complains about the boobie squishing, but it's 10 minutes of discomfort for a little peace of mind.
tlg151@reddit
Yeah honestly the only reason I've put it off is because I go to doctor appointments weekly and get tests so often and I just get tired of going to see another doctor lol.
My pcp didn't try to get me to have my first until I was 45 and I just turned 47 so I am not too far off I guess lol 😬
screamingcatfish@reddit
I had to buy $50 orthotic flip-flops for my high arches and plantar fasciitis.
tlg151@reddit
Recommend Brooks. Go to a good shoe store and have them do the fitting. They will measure your instep, arch, etc for the perfect fit.
I had raging sciatica until I got Brooks. Now I only get a flare up every few months or longer!
(I know they are different, but trust me, it'll still help.)
screamingcatfish@reddit
THANK YOU!
Majestic-Broccoli579@reddit
Every time I go to pick something up off the floor I moan a little
tlg151@reddit
"My first car was an '81 Pontiac grand prix."
Cautious_Artichoke_3@reddit
My carpal tunnel has invited it's friend bursitis over to ruin my day even more
tlg151@reddit
My carpal tunnel had the nerve to invite trigger thumb and cubital tunnel as well 😭
tlg151@reddit
"Do you want me me to name all my surgeries or just the ones related to this issue?"
I literally said this on Monday.
BoyTrent97@reddit
I sneezed and threw my Back out and cracked my knee all at once. Still hurts.
ClickLeather6490@reddit
I can’t decide if I’m eating too little or too much fiber.
ConnectKale@reddit
Weed isnt as fun as it used to be
red286@reddit
Used to smoke for fun.
Now I smoke just so I can sleep easier.
tlg151@reddit
And for pain and anxiety relief lol
Dark_Tint@reddit
tlg151@reddit
10/10 usage of that 😂
kibs12kibs12@reddit
Pickleball.
MurrayGrande@reddit
The dentist chair had bad neck support so my neck was fucked all day.
tlg151@reddit
I had to get a doppler ultrasound of my left arm to determine if I had a blood clot (I didn't- yay!) and you have to lay super flat on your back with your neck stretched to the right and with your left arm straight out to the left side. For 30 mins or so? I lost track lol.
When I tried to move again at the finish, I had to audibly say, "oww" 😂 😂. The tech understood because he was turning the same age in a couple weeks that I just turned.
Healthy-Neat-2989@reddit
My dental chart specifies I need a neck support pillow.
ImpossibleInternet3@reddit
I ordered a new pill case with separate compartments for morning and evening pills. But I don’t like the way the doors open, so I’m going to return it and order something different.
tlg151@reddit
I have been looking for a pill case that can accommodate all my prescriptions and supplements. I don't take as many prescriptions as I do supplements lmao.
Minnow_Minnow_Pea@reddit
I like the kind where each day comes in a separate box.
throwawayfromPA1701@reddit
Sneezing is risky.
No_Feedback_6334@reddit
After reading this..I’m going to need a little bag of extra clothes today just to be safe
thedarkpreacher65@reddit
extra clothes can't stop your back from going out. Or keep the head of a rib in your upper back in it's proper place. (The second one happened to me.)
NICEnEVILmike@reddit
I threw my back out sneezing a couple of months ago. I was messed up for 5 days.
thedarkpreacher65@reddit
Lucky, I had 6 months physical therapy.
Trick-Coyote-9834@reddit
Ever tried to go to a Trampoline park?
throwawayfromPA1701@reddit
No I value my spine lol
Trick-Coyote-9834@reddit
I was talking about pissing yourself if you’re a woman but yes, I also have to worry about my back during a sneeze and wouldn’t go to a trampoline park anymore.
I was also advised to switch to incline walking instead of running on the treadmill to slow the progression of arthritis in my back.
gstringstrangler@reddit
Just face forward with a neutral spine 😂
MediumAd3331@reddit
I just paid my landscaping bill for seed and weed control. Aka. “get off my lawn”
i_am_ellis_parker@reddit
Calm_Video7425@reddit
I like the new door closers I bought to save on energy.
North-Department-112@reddit
I can’t wait for the weekend to start so I can watch a good movie, stay up to a reasonable hour then sleep in.
WhereAmIHowDoILeave@reddit
Noticed a new bird kept coming to the water i keep outside for them for a few days. My husband and I named him Sid.
Driving to the gym yesterday I told my husband Sid hadn't been by today, then we both wondered if the dumbass (seriously, something is off with this bird) got lost.
He was back today though. I swear I have a life
Good_Apollo_@reddit
I rolled a joint last night.
My ankle to be clear.
themoop78@reddit
Thank you for the legitimate laugh out loud.
Uberbons42@reddit
🤣🤣🤣
Gon_777@reddit
Ironically I smoke every night now like I used to wish I could when I was young.
These days it isn't for fun though, if I don't smoke I am in horrible pain and can barely function.
Happy-Tower-3920@reddit
Better than a bong.
The sou d you hear as you fall as bust your head.
Jasmirris@reddit
I was going to a store last minute before a trip and rolled my ankle. Heard a pop/crack. Welp. I could still walk but I was so mad at myself. It was fine for the trip for the most part, just a little pain here and there, no swelling. Just a little ego hurt.
topshelfvanilla@reddit
Had me in the first half, NGL
Medium_Cry5601@reddit
I will sometimes think twice before going to the ground. Still will, but I think about it
Consistent-Camp5359@reddit
Gathered all the emergency supplies for hurricane season. Got out the solar radio.
Consistent-Camp5359@reddit
“If you tape over that I will hurt you”
puckmonky@reddit
I have a bottle of ibuprofen in the car, at work, and at home.
sweetbirthdaybaby333@reddit
I think... my face in my mind's eye looks different than my face in real life. I saw myself in a mirror while at a museum this morning and I was just like, who IS that?
_smoke_me_a_kipper_@reddit
I have this problem but with my body. ☹️
Minnow_Minnow_Pea@reddit
Lol same. Who tf is that old fat lady in the mirror?
JoyInLiving@reddit
Me in mirror: "Mom??? Is that you!?"
Agitated-Heart-1854@reddit
I don’t have a mirror amymore.
firesticks@reddit
My people! I’ve gained like 25 pounds since 2022. I feel like a different human.
AgentOrange1717@reddit
Same!
Resident_Anteater327@reddit
I have the same shaped hands as my mums and now they look just like my childhood memories🤣
aytchdave@reddit
I found an old ID from grad school and I literally don’t remember looking like that even though it is spot on what my everyday standard appearance was in terms of weight and grooming. I hope that me never returns.
Also, I found an ID from my first job and I’m handsome. Like, yeah I think I’m handsome because I love me. But I was 16 and while I didn’t think I was ugly, I wouldn’t have said I was handsome. Looking back, I realized I was actually good looking and didn’t just grow into it. It’s also funny because I got a lot of compliments from older women but always too old to be an appropriate partner.
Slight_Succotash9495@reddit
This! And it really screws with my head in a bad way. I was a dancer my whole life so skinny & in shape. Menopause hit & changed all that fast.
Ippus_21@reddit
I keep seeing my dad in the mirror, lol.
Starsteamer@reddit
Man, I keep getting a fright when I catch myself in a mirror unexpectedly. Keep seeing this old wife looking back at me.
Uberbons42@reddit
Ooh mirrors are the worst. I’ll be a vampire now.
Fappy_as_a_Clam@reddit
I see myself in pics and I'm like "well shit, I guess this is what it's like to look your age."
wolfdickspeedstache@reddit
I was just thinking the same thing last night
eternalrevolver@reddit
I prioritize 8-9 hours sleep, and become self-loathing if I don’t get it routinely.
cballw@reddit
I got a bird feeder with a live-streaming camera ;)
cballw@reddit
Syke
stantheman1976@reddit
My username is literal.
Treadingresin@reddit
Last week I said the words "these damn kids these days"
Emerald_Eyed_Gal@reddit
Oh, no. You’re in deep. No saving you now.
Treadingresin@reddit
I'm gonna go shake my fist at some clouds
AcademicIdea9169@reddit
My knees let me know when it’s going to rain.
LH1010@reddit
The birds have been really loving the new seed blend I put in my feeders - I had a cardinal stop by for the first time this morning. It’s all very exciting 🤣
OpalBlack7@reddit
Just wait until the rats and raccoons and squirrels find it and try to move into your house. That's when the real fun begins.
authorized_sausage@reddit
I, too, make sure I have plenty of birdseed out. Mostly I get mourning doves but I also get cardinals. Sometimes an asshole crow. But that's it.
cardie82@reddit
We bought a bird guide specific to our state and sit and watch our bird feeder.
Guardian_Heffaay@reddit
Sits on our couch. We’ve got a window feeder and a single lady cardinal and a couple that visit frequently. 16 yo me would not believe this is who I am now hahahhahaha
cardie82@reddit
We get cardinals in our yard. At least one male and two females. We are planning to get a suet feeder so we can make sure they are still fed over the winter
Adventurous_Cloud_20@reddit
Suet will attract chickadees and titmice too. Your chickadees will get used to you when you go outside, and they'll scold you if you let the feeders go empty.
CosmicallyF-d@reddit
I have become friends with my local murder of crows. I feed them morning and night. They showed me their fledglings. My cherry tomato plant is thriving, my heirloom tomato plant is just starting out it's first tomato. I purposely picked out wonderful flowers for pollinators and flowers that will deter aphids and spider mites. I bought a hydrometer to insure my potted plants are at the perfect level of moisture. I will go out to my patio garden with my hair wrapped in a towel and my robe on. Selfies have been replaced with my wonderful meals that I make and I'm very proud of.
sidfinch@reddit
What do you plant that deters aphids and mites?
CosmicallyF-d@reddit
Marigolds, chives and lavender. I have chive companion planted with several plants. And then space out the other ones around the other plants. It's not working perfectly. But I'm trying.
CosmicallyF-d@reddit
I have a very large tomato plant that's off and it's own world on a different patio with a great amount of sun. Today I took a close look at it and there were thousands of what look to be little baby aphids. I did the yield smoosh method. Literally smacking them to death and then I had to go nuclear with neem oil.
BrontosaurusK@reddit
You're absolutely living the dream with all the crows 🫡
Adventurous_Cloud_20@reddit
Just wait til those wonderful meals come almost exclusively from your garden. I made an absolutely killer salsa verde last summer, and everything except the salt that went into it came from our garden. My wife also has what she calls "garden jammies" which are pajamas she goes out into the garden in every morning.
cardie82@reddit
Thanks for the heads up. We just started bird feeding and watching this spring. Give us a glass of lemonade or wine and our bird watching book and we’re happy as clams.
I’d have never in a million years thought my spouse and I would be sitting on the porch watching birds in our 40s but it’s relaxing.
Adventurous_Cloud_20@reddit
It's one of those "little things" that just means so much. I never thought that morning coffee listening to our birds (and being able to identify them by their calls) would be one of our favorite things about being married. My job is extremely high stress sometimes, and being on call 24/7 amps that stress up even higher, but our birds on a quiet Saturday morning make it all worth it.
cardie82@reddit
Marriage is all about the little moments. I describe marriage as being a long handout session with my best friend. I tell my kids that there is no one I’d rather go to a home improvement store on a Saturday morning than their dad. My youngest came downstairs one night to see us sitting on the couch watching cartoons and drinking wine and said it was kind of inspiring.
PlatypusImpersonator@reddit
The cardinal and blue jay pairs are constants as well as the red headed woodpeckers. Those are nice, but the real treat is the Swallow-tailed Kite that flies by every now and again. Makes my day each time.
theoptimusdime@reddit
Me too...
Big_Monday4523@reddit
16 year old me use to watch the birds with my Grandpa. And now I'm tearing up missing my Grandpa.
ATheeStallion@reddit
Me too. Except I have always thought of it as being an old soul.
keystonesandtunes@reddit
💯
Rivster79@reddit
Pffftttt amateur. Been bird nerding out since ‘90
MrIrvington@reddit
Haha bird nerding, I love it.
littlelordvolcano@reddit
I ordered the same guide last week! Lol. My wife has been teasing me about "birding" because I saw this giant bird searched on a light pole that turned out to be a Turkey Vulture at the end of my street. It was huge and I was genuinely curious so I pulled out my binoculars.
I work from home and got a big window in my room so on my breaks I'll just sit and watch the birds around my neighborhood. It all started with a vulture, lol
Guardian_Heffaay@reddit
That’s awesome. I love vultures.
Chickenpoopohmy@reddit
Same!! And we made sure to add more feeder and bird baths
PuffinPastry@reddit
You should check out the Merlin Bird ID app
imhereforthevotes@reddit
Stan Tekiela sucks. Get a guide for your whole AREA.
Fresh-Guarantee-757@reddit
This is hilarious. Probably because it sounds exactly like two of my family members. Thanks for the laugh!
sliderturk99@reddit
I like owls all of a sudden
Even-Chemistry-7915@reddit
Bought an owl house last week...
LordofBRUCE@reddit
Whoa me too. And anything Corvid
MadeItOutInTime95969@reddit
But I bet you hate those punk kids driving too fast past your front yard
sliderturk99@reddit
Actually its the jerks who dont wave after you move to the side of the road to allow them to pass....that really grinds my gears
Morriganx3@reddit
I like owls, but I’ve always liked owls. They are so cool and so adorable!
DelcoWolv@reddit
I used to like owls. I still do, but I used to, too.
MadeItOutInTime95969@reddit
Who is?
rotorocker@reddit
I like turtles
barredowl123@reddit
I must’ve been born middle aged!
MadameLeota604@reddit
I’m into hummingbirds lately.
Big_Monday4523@reddit
Hummingbirds are the bomb. Sort of sad we don't get them in Australia. Of course we do get parrots so I'm not totally inconsolable over the lack of pretty little hummingbirds
scamlikelly@reddit
There are no hummingbirds down unda?? That's so sad! They are such neat little birds!
MadeItOutInTime95969@reddit
Hummingbirds are like the meth addicts of birds. Love them though.
charityloves@reddit
I bought a new hummingbird feeder today from tractor supply.
MadameLeota604@reddit
Now you’ll be out there taking pics, making friends with them and wondering where five pounds of sugar has gone…
charityloves@reddit
Honestly, That sounds fantastic.
PhDPepper5@reddit
I make my husband send me pics of full hummingbird feeders on the daily to make sure we are getting them into our garden. 😂
CReeseRozz@reddit
Owls are crazy bird like aliens.
megat0nbombs@reddit
The owls are not what they seem. My log told me.
No_Caterpillar_8573@reddit
They are incredibly cool but also kinda spooky when you experience how quiet they are while flying in the middle of the night. 😳
Issis_P@reddit
You should check out r/superbowl they are majestic
Arghmeegan@reddit
I’m so happy this exists, thanks for sharing.
gstringstrangler@reddit
I have one on my wall 😳
Handofdoom222@reddit
There were 4 owls sitting in a tree in my front yard yesterday afternoon never seen that before i was so excited lol
Beautyafterdark@reddit
I spotted a cardinal this afternoon and was so excited by it!
LuckyDogMom@reddit
Hummingbirds are my thing
photogypsy@reddit
I’m working on becoming Queen of the Murder in my new neighborhood. I’ve been feeding the crows. They are exquisite, intelligent, complex birds.
Lacylanexoxo@reddit
Crows, doves and cardinals are always eating with my chickens. It’s amazing to see all these birds
kylethemurphy@reddit
I'm going to try to make crow friends this year.
dkkchoice@reddit
Crows don't like raptors. If you make a fast friend of a crow, they will protect your baby birds and little critters from the hawks.
kylethemurphy@reddit
Really? We have red tail hawks in the neighborhood. They don't normally come to our house but I did find a bird leg sitting on my trash can one day.
dkkchoice@reddit
I live in DC, between a major city avenue and about six blocks up from Rock Creek Park, a little north of where Kennedy Jr took a dunk in sewage.
As soon we see an increase in the numbers of chipmunks, squirrels, voles, field mice, and other critters, we see the hawks and owls move in. Usually we see Cooper's hawks, red tailed hawks, and Barred Owls. Also at least one vulture. Not too long ago I saw a snowy owl streak down our street. We also have larger mammals hanging around, like foxes, a couple of coyotes, deer (although not so much due to a recent culling but they will be back). I have also seen a black bear (in DC!) and we have a family of turkeys living behind the parking lot of an apartment building two blocks from me.
I try not to interfere in the "circle of life" but if I see it, I will scare the hawk away when we have fledgling birds in the yard. The crow does his best (we feed him well) by flying at the hawk and cawing but right now he (the crow) is being harassed by a mockingjay who I guess must have a nest nearby. The thing about the crow, however, is that you have to put up with the cawing which, because he is being fed, is right next to your ears a lot of the time.
Which circles around to being middle-aged. Damned birds make too much noise!
photogypsy@reddit
It’s like becoming mafia protected. They very much have a “she’s with us” vibe.
Stray dog that wanders into my yard and likes to bully my dogs? Yeah, he doesn’t come around anymore once Carmine and the boys put a whipping on him. Snakes- killed, rats- eaten, frogs removed from pool. New/strange person pulls up? They’re watched until they know I’m ok with the person.
280EastBroad@reddit
While I generally enjoy the urban/suburban deer in my neighborhood, they generally like to eat even my deer resistant plants. If I befriended the crows in the neighborhood… would they keep the deer in line?
Framing-the-chaos@reddit
I’m moving soon to a cottage on a wildflower farm and my plan is to befriend the crows. Teach me your ways!!
photogypsy@reddit
Just keep food and clean water available. I started accidentally. I’d put a small dish of dog food (for the dogs to snack on) and a large water dish out on days when we would be in the yard for a long time. They left kibble in the bowl and I saw a crow taking kibble from the window. It then clicked that they were probably the reason the water had to be cleaned almost every time we went inside (they leave a mess in the bowl). Started with web searches and then I ended up in the crow subreddit and expanded the menu a bit.
PuppyJakeKhakiCollar@reddit
Crows are fascinating. Don't piss them off! They will stalk you for years and get their friends involved. I read an article a few months ago about a guy who swung a shovel at some crows (wasn't trying to hit them, just trying to scare them away from a robin's nest they were trying to invade) and they would dive bomb his head every time he left the house. They would look in his windows and they even learned what bus stop he used and would dive bomb him getting off the bus. It's wild!
BerryOwn9111@reddit
We watch Milkhouse6000. The crows are here is repeated at our house anytime a crow shows up. Guy has given me some ideas of leaving out tricks and puzzles and my kiddos love it! The dog, not so much. LOL
dkkchoice@reddit
There was a study about that. The scientists were very distinctive masks, like Halloween masks, and did something the crows didn't like. And they did it repeatedly. Ever after the crows would harassed anyone they saw wearing that mask. Even many many years later.
photogypsy@reddit
I feed them a blend of dried meal worms, hard boiled egg, a small amount of dog kibble, and raw peanuts in the shell. I changed dog food and they started leaving the heads of their kills on my welcome mat. Not sure if they were worried about my own food sources or if they were sending a message. Either way, the dogs are happy the crows got me to change back to the old food.
dkkchoice@reddit
Lest you underestimate the lowly crow, check out this YouTube channel with M+ark Rober. This is the one with the crow but there are others with squirrelles i highly recommend.
https://youtu.be/tpg3VvoIVfA?si=HdjE4Z7bnj67kAdk
Tangential_Comment@reddit
Are we all becoming IRL druids? I have a flock of 3 blue jays that will land on the railing next to me and look at me for peanuts... Guess Beastmaster made a string impression!
LookParty5244@reddit
Me too! I’m finally at the phase where they hang out in the trees and watch me instead of flying away when I take food out for them.
dirtycynicc@reddit
This deserves more upvotes
ForestHills1978@reddit
Birds! Why didn’t anyone tell me that middle age is when you appreciate birds!
Fleghammer@reddit
Download the Merlin Bird ID app, it’s in partnership with Cornell University to track bird migrations and it does an excellent job of keeping track of the birds you’ve seen
Angis3000@reddit
Seek is another good one. Lets you ID plants, too
bangobot46@reddit
Merlin is my new obsession. It's like Pokemon for Xennials.
Fleghammer@reddit
My sister and I text each other when we find an uncommon or rare bird.
DETRITUS_TROLL@reddit
I love sitting outside in the morning listening to the birds and having it tell me who's talking. It's fascinating.
rialucia@reddit
Me too!! I moved out in the countryside and I love listening to the constant bird chatter with the Merlin app.
quinhook2@reddit
I think I got my best recording yesterday. I was pretty pumped about it.
LSEAFE@reddit
I got a bird feeder with one of those built in cameras. I was so excited to see all the birds. 99% of them are doves….I really want some other birds.
danger_bears@reddit
Our doves only eat off the ground, so they never make it on camera. I get a Cardinal, a House Finch, and a Brown Cow Bird regularly.
LSEAFE@reddit
Thats cool! I get a house sparrow sometimes and I’ve had a house finch, but nothing else. I see a lot of other birds around the neighborhood, but they don’t like my feeder. I tried changing the feed, but that hasn’t worked.
Hot-Physics3400@reddit
What are you using in the feeder?
LSEAFE@reddit
I’ve been using a mix from Sam’s club recently it’s supposed to attract cardinals, finches, sparrows, etc
danger_bears@reddit
Yeah, I changed out ours and that didn't seem to make a difference.. I had a ton of birds when it was in a tree. Now it's 50 feet away on a pole and now I get very few birds. It's been depressing.
2much4meeeeee@reddit
I got one too but the squirrels keep coming and taking all the food. We’ve got 3 hummingbird feeders, I’ve not gotten one with the camera yet.
LSEAFE@reddit
The one I have, has a little hummingbird feeder attachment. I haven’t attached it yet. I’ll have to work on it this weekend.
2much4meeeeee@reddit
Yes, ours too but I still haven’t seen any hummingbirds there. I’ve seen a few in person using the other feeders. Might move it elsewhere, maybe they’ll visit if I move it?!!
SL1-was-fake@reddit
I'm emotionally invested in the bluebird pair in their new house with camera I installed for them
skyHawk3613@reddit
How do you get different birds to notice the seed blend? No matter what I put it, it’s just doves and blue jays
BerryOwn9111@reddit
I have literally learned what bird is making bird calls by using the Merlin ID app for the past few years. Every morning I take my English breakfast tea on the back deck and start recording to see how many new/rare birds come to visit! Exciting!
strawberry-lava@reddit
I got my first bird feeder last week!!! No cardinals yet, fingers crossed
ftwpurplebelt@reddit
Used to poke fun of my mom as the bird lady. My wife and have spotted 33 species of birds on our feeders, and another 4 that land on the fence. 37 species!!!
AlchemistMustang@reddit
Is this a thing now? I posted to FB last month that I finally saw a Belted Kingfisher and half the comments were "Tell me your 40 without telling me your 40!"
CReeseRozz@reddit
Ugh! We just bought some bargain seed from Tractor Supply, it’s mostly just millet.
notAcomic303@reddit
I have two male cardinals in the back that have been fighting over a female for the past couple days. I think she's actually egging them on
snortgiggles@reddit
Lol the enthusiastic mass digression thread into bird-loving is hilarious!
xennialmusic@reddit
Hummingbirds have already visited the hanging flowers I bought a week ago and I'm ecstatic.
print_isnt_dead@reddit
I have hummingbirds!
Psychological-Ad6191@reddit
Man, I’m 35 but this resonates with me. I just hung my first feeder yesterday with my daughter and filled it with an “Eastern” blend bird seed. Saw our first visitor today…a female cardinal! 🥹 LMAO!!
Regigiformayor@reddit
I'm absolutely in my bird identification era
moseriv5@reddit
I just bought two bird feeders at Lowe’s this weekend for this very reason.
I also planted a shit ton of Lantanas because I want to attract monarch butterflies and bees…..my god, what have I become
TrvlMike@reddit
I just setup a software called BirdNET-Go and will audio analyze all the birds that come by our house. I’m using Home Assistant software too and shows daily facts of what has come by and about the bird. I did this today…
qgecko@reddit
I bought bird watching binoculars for use on the back porch.
OutlandishnessNew259@reddit
I'm currently researching the best bird bath for my yard, so many options.
winesarahtops@reddit
This is Dorothy!
cacapooee@reddit
My hummingbird food is perfect and they're fighting over it.
a_solid_6@reddit (OP)
Lol sounds awesome! I really want one of those bird feeders that fit into your window.
kristinlee11@reddit
I received one as a Christmas gift and it brings me so much joy every morning when I’m drinking my coffee. Buy one!
craftyzombie@reddit
I start my day by taking my mug of coffee outside and drinking it while doing a bird count on eBird.
That's also the only coffee I can have these days because if I have a second one, I won't be able to sleep.
Burlington-bloke@reddit
I bought a new bird feeder yesterday at the dollar store. They love the cheap feeder but won't touch the $50 one. I'm also trying a new seed mix. I'm having "mixed" results 😂
upupdndnltrtltrtb_a@reddit
Put some pepper flakes in with the bird seed to deter squirrels. Birds can’t taste the capsaicin but squirrels and other “pests” do. They learn quickly to go somewhere else for their food.
Have a lot of blue jays around us at the moment and only one cardinal family. Gnarly times.
danger_bears@reddit
I just did this and it did not deter the squirrels at all. I ended up moving the feeder and putting it on a pole with a baffle, and now I get very few birds. I'm tempted to move it back squirrels be damned.
upupdndnltrtltrtb_a@reddit
What a bummer. I wouldn’t say I had a huge success with it but there is definitely less squirrels around the feeders so far.
ancilla1998@reddit
I've heard a pileated woodpecker in my neighborhood for 20 years and have never managed to see it.
ThaVolt@reddit
I saw a hummingbird last year! I did not know they were a thing in my area, I almost couldn't believe it. (Quebec, Canada)
Nacho_Sideboob@reddit
What is this shit!? I just finished ranting to my wife about how much the birds like the new feed mix i made. However there's a beautiful blue Jay that's been an asshole.
Rumplfrskn@reddit
The hummingbirds don’t like the pre made nectar we got so it looks like we’re back to sugar and red dye.
ahbaldyga@reddit
I was just having a porch cocktail and watched a beautiful male cardinal in the trees
Short-Nail-3781@reddit
Oh yes, this is it for me too! All morning I was watching the young fledglings learning to drink water and take baths in my birdbath. It was so cute to watch!
AdditionalAmoeba6358@reddit
I was doomed from the get go, I was doing this in HS. I love gardening, the yard, wildlife, nature…
So I guess sometimes it isn’t always about age, but love!
Chickenpoopohmy@reddit
I saw my first painted bunting in my bird bath!! Absolutely freaked out!
JROXZ@reddit
We got the one with a WiFi cam. I added a baffle. The squirrels are no longer raiding the seed stash and the birds have seem more confident. I feel a sense of pride looking through the blinds at the birdhouse I setup —bathrobe and coffee in hand.
sip
drdeeznuts420@reddit
I got one of them fancy camera bird feeders, I’m allllllllllllll about it
captainstormy@reddit
What is it with getting into birds all of a sudden.
I went Into MicroCenter the other day for some PC parts and spent most of my time looking at smart bird feeders contemplating buying one.
Decided against it and now I've been researching them online lol.
PetuniaPicklePepper@reddit
I use the Merlin ID app.
KrAEGNET@reddit
Ah you just reminded me i left a bag sitting on my garage floor i just know some rodent is going to get into
dead_investigator@reddit
I just bought non-red humming bird food and I’m looking for a cheap feeder on marketplace. This is going to be lit.
electraglideinblue@reddit
Is there something wrong with the red food?
adimadoz@reddit
You have to get the Merlin app. It has been great for identifying birds by sound!
mouggi1@reddit
My cats and I stare out the windows and.chitter at the birds together.
DrenAss@reddit
I just found the Merlin app and have been using it. Yesterday I found a rare bird and got legitimately excited.
Rivster79@reddit
You forgot to mention you bought the 50lb seed bag from Costco
FollowingNo4648@reddit
When I was a kid, my grandma was obsessed with birds, and I thought it was so weird. As soon as I hit 35, all of a sudden, I gave a shit about birds. I've been fighting my local squirrel population lately because those fuckers keep dumping out and eating all the bird seed.
kylethemurphy@reddit
I'm starting the process of making crow friends. We've got blue jay guards in one tree, another is full of squirrels, another has robins with babies that are fresh out of the nest and across the street and somewhere behind the house it sounds like we've got crows posted up. I'm going to set up a webcam just for the birds.
CottaBird@reddit
I’ve been a birder since my late twenties, and I’m so happy more people are climbing aboard, but it’s hilarious to me how our generation hits 40 and suddenly we’re like “oh damn! A new woodpecker at the feeder!” Lol
PacketFiend@reddit
If you like cardinals, try straight safflower seed. They love it, and squirrels don't.
SprAwsmMan@reddit
Lmao. As I read this I'm sitting in my backyard watching my feeder, a blue jay just landed as I opened the comments. Lol.
Johnykbr@reddit
I get as excited for hummingbirds at my feeder as kids do when they see bubbles
BoneWhiteHaze@reddit
Me too! I absolutely love them. 💓
HeyAQ@reddit
Do you have the Merlin app? It’s Cornell ornithology and it is a slap. Start a life list!
Bushid0C0wb0y81@reddit
Fuck the Birding really does sneak up on ya.
ClockHistorical4951@reddit
Same, but the peaky squirrels are eating the seeds. I upgraded the bird feeder so they can only get to it.
tkcring@reddit
Lmao are you ME?!!! 😂😂😂
Polymox@reddit
We have had hummingbird feeders before, and seen occasional users of them. This is our first spring in a new place, and they are super into it. I see dozens of hummingbirds every day. They defend the feeder from each other.
Impossible_Diet6992@reddit
Do you have the Merlin bird ID app too? Lol
Neither_Pie8996@reddit
It's always nice when the Cardinals show up. You now you're dialed in with the feed at that point.
Pennylick@reddit
Our cardinals sit on the fence most mornings, and the male feeds his lady cardinal seed from the bird feeder. It's the sweetest thing!
Ok_Island_1306@reddit
We live in a condo in Los Angeles but my wife and I went to Georgia to work august 2020- June 2021. We rented a cottage on a 60 acre property that had a bird feeder in the yard that hadn’t been used in years. I got so much pleasure out of filling that thing up and gradually watching the birds come. I could sit by the window for hours and watch.
Adventurous_Cloud_20@reddit
We have 10 feeders in our yard. One of our favorite things to do is make coffee in the morning and go out on the back patio and listen to the birds start their day as the sun is coming up. My wife has a little feeder close to her chair that the chickadees love. They are so used to us that they'll perch all around us to eat their seeds, and they get right close and scold us if we don't have their feeder topped up on time.
Azuras_Star8@reddit
The squirrels eat my 3 day supply of food in 3 hours.
Haven@reddit
Oooh I love my cardinals! The ones here will pick out just the sunflower seeds from the feeder and leave everything else. I always know when to refill as the cardinal will stop by, look to see if there’s more sunflowers and then leave after chirping for a while lol. He’s like hey lady, feed me!
Antique_Row7245@reddit
I injured my back doing exercises for my injured foot
authorized_sausage@reddit
I'm female and I can't sleep. As witnessed by the timing of this post.
Upper_Zucchini_4440@reddit
Gosh, those tacos are messing my stomach so bad, and I didn't have half what I used to. Where's my tums!
KeanuIsACat@reddit
I would but I don't have time.
Huevo_con_Chorizo88@reddit
GYMFAITHRNBIBYA
a_solid_6@reddit (OP)
Hahaha well, at 42, you only have to ask me once to come inside. It's my favorite place lol
revolutionoverdue@reddit
Excited to go to bed at 9:30.
Existing_Climate_623@reddit
This could be a middle age thing or it could just be a mental illness. A few years ago I got pissed while grocery shopping at the cost of fruit (definitely middle age problem ). Went home figured out how much I was spending on fruit. Planted various fruits trees all out of anger (Possibly mental illness issue here 😂). At first everyone thought my idea was crazy and I was wasting my time, but now I feel vindicated every time I hear someone complain about the prices when I’m out because I can just go grab it off a tree or bush in my yard. My sister was complaining about cherries being $5.99/lb so I took a picture of me grabbing a handful from one of my trees and eating them and sent it to her 😂
Emerald_Eyed_Gal@reddit
I have a rant about almost anything, including Seven Brew.
WHY do they make those kids stand outside in the heat and the cold to take your drink order while you’re in a car? Then I feel like I have to tip? Can’t you just put your employees inside like a normal place? Why am I paying $10 for a large energy drink? I’m out.
ISuckAtFallout4@reddit
I had to tell the urgent care doc I threw my back out getting off the toilet
Emerald_Eyed_Gal@reddit
I mean you could have told him another story, but it wouldn’t have been as believable.
Also, dude, I’m so sorry. I hope you’re feeling better.
Chattown81@reddit
Laughing at this made my shoulder pain flare up. I belong here.
autricia@reddit
When I laughed at this, something in my back cracked and I farted a little lol. Good times.
LeakyBumbershoot@reddit
I used the flashlight on my phone to read the restaurant menu.
theotterway@reddit
I use the camera to read small print!
Emerald_Eyed_Gal@reddit
I’m forever taking photos to zoom in on text 😂
_incredigirl_@reddit
Dude i got a pair of bifocals and it’s done wonders for my small print literacy. No more photos of product ingredients and instructions on my camera roll!
FirstGradeTeacher27@reddit
My doctor just recommended bifocals! I felt so old… then she said… “YOU’VE HAD A GOOD RUN.” 💀
ScouterBo@reddit
Did you adjust easily to them? I’m scared to make the leap lol
_incredigirl_@reddit
It was an adjustment for sure. I was lucky in that I’d replaced my contacts about six months prior and got the bifocal lenses there too so i had already adjusted somewhat. But the movement between the bifocal and not was much more pronounced with the glasses… i had more eye strain going from regular contacts to to bifocal lenses but adjusting to my progressive glasses gave me more of the vertigo/crooked floor feeling if I looked up or down too quickly
ScouterBo@reddit
Thank you for the input! This is kind of what I’m worried about lol
Sweaty_Ranger7476@reddit
so, needing bifocals since i was four makes me extra old?? great.
Electrical-You5659@reddit
I don’t have bifocals but I buy the value pack of readers and have pairs all over the house, in my purse, in the pocket of my dress shirts..
ScouterBo@reddit
No readers yet but I do need to take my regular glasses off every time I text
Electrical-You5659@reddit
Also, this weekend my kid told me I should just have two pairs of glasses— readers and sunglasses — on my head at all times to cut down on time switching between the two.
jawanessa@reddit
I got bifocals with my most recent pair of glasses, too! And my glasses were already thick, so no one can tell anyway lol
theotterway@reddit
There are a lot of cute ones too!
Ippus_21@reddit
My eyes are one of the few things still going right, healthwise, lol. My prescription hasn't changed in about 20 years now (it actually got like a quarter point better a couple years ago).
Individual-Schemes@reddit
Take eye supplements!!
As my eyes begin to go, I pop the supplements. Boom. I got my vision back. So then what? I forget to take my supplements and my eyes begin to go. I start taking my supplements and boom, my eyes are back. It's a game I've been playing with myself for years.
Self-MadeRmry@reddit
Just realized I need to do this
Minnow_Minnow_Pea@reddit
I take off my glasses to read my phone.
scratchfury@reddit
Why did no one warn us about presbyopia?
topshelfvanilla@reddit
Try using your phone's camera as a magnifying glass.
TammyInViolet@reddit
And constantly in the kitchen to read cook times on boxes!
LeakyBumbershoot@reddit
I also took a photo of a medication bottle and enlarged it so I could read it. lol
Agitated-Heart-1854@reddit
I joined the Grannies Against Faschism
Squeegie1138@reddit
All my classmates died of dysentery or drowned while fording the river. I'm so sorry, Kevin.
user896375@reddit
I’m neither young nor old.
LibrarianAcrobatic21@reddit
We had a kids' phone line when I was a teen.
FartingAliceRisible@reddit
If the women don’t find you handsome they should at least find you handy.
rustys_shackled_ford@reddit
I remember when the worst thing a president could be accused of doing is sleeping with interns and wearing tan colored suits.
SpecificGiraffe8997@reddit
The first thing I do in the morning after pouring coffee is check on my garden.
frozen_charlotte@reddit
Fashion wise I’m in my Mrs. Roper era.
a_solid_6@reddit (OP)
Hahaha!
dowut_ohghey@reddit
I've injured my pinky toe somehow, no idea how, possibly yard work but can't pinpoint the moment or day. Anyway I'm hobbling around now and had to work from home today as a result.
djGuiltyP@reddit
Everything pops and cracks over and over when I move in any direction or any motion.
Entire-Loquat70@reddit
I am OBSESSED with my orchid rescues. I saved them from the nonchalant plant care tactics of Walmart. They get four ounces of water every Sunday and daily leaf rubs 🥰
dnnygrhm@reddit
I stretch before bed.
HildegardeBrasscoat@reddit
In bed by 10 on a Friday
ElGrandeRojo67@reddit
I get injured sleeping nowadays.
Select-Instruction56@reddit
sneezes "Fuck, my back is out!"
No-Scheme-5370@reddit
Everything hurts
whiterocket50@reddit
You would not understand
Sihaya212@reddit
I pulled a muscle in my back because I sneezed.
FreedomSquatch@reddit
I like prunes. No issues with digestion really, I just think they taste good lol 😁
Resident_Anteater327@reddit
Maybe because you eat them!
GnTforyouandme@reddit
I saw all Back to the Futures at the cinema on their first run.
SneakySalamder6@reddit
I wish I had a trapper keeper
Blueface_or_Redface@reddit
Got off thw couch the other day and i was waving my feet around trying to push my body up
ProfessionalHope2376@reddit
Wine grape and cheese
Possible_Parsnip4484@reddit
I type with my index fingers and have to Google acronyms
Ok-Sale-8105@reddit
Sleestacks and Banana Splits.
KellieIsNotMyName@reddit
I sprained my knee sitting still one time last year
itsnotajersey88@reddit
I smoked for 15 years and I quit 15 years ago.
frozen_charlotte@reddit
I smoked for 38 years and I quit 5 years ago!
cardie82@reddit
I’ve gotten into bird watching.
Beautyafterdark@reddit
I want to learn how to identify different bird calls
DrFunke-Analrapist@reddit
I’m watching my son set up ikea furniture
SnooChipmunks2079@reddit
My feet have gotten a lot further away and I keep making an “oof” noise standing up.
LuckyDogMom@reddit
I have developed a habit of not only watching the hummingbirds… but discussing individual ones with my husband.
I am generally in bed by 9 pm
PicardsButtCheeks@reddit
HANG UP THE PHONE
gribbit311@reddit
“It hurts.” “What hurts?” “Everything.”
jamesnife@reddit
How many digits was your ICQ number? Did you ever notice how big the jump was when you UPGRADED to a 56 kbps modem? Do you remember when Bart Simpson was OLDER than you?
Admirable-Fig277@reddit
I take fiber gummies
Sizzlersister43@reddit
MiraLAX!
RealDahl@reddit
5 pills 4 times day, for heart health!
Consistent-Ease6070@reddit
I put Benefiber and collagen in my coffee. It disappears right in without a trace. 🤣
dickonajunebug@reddit
I buy the 3 pack of fiber pills from Costco
CafeMilk25@reddit
I prefer to stir mine into a glass of water. Hydration and fiber, together at last!
villagust2@reddit
For gut health, I'm stirring Greek yogurt into the oatmeal I'm eating to lower cholesterol.
aytchdave@reddit
Awwyeah. Get some of that good granola and throw a little honey in there, you got yourself a breakfast.
Moquai82@reddit
Add a fresh banana or/and some berries.
Barragin@reddit
blue berries. And add walnuts
IndianaFartJockey@reddit
Quinoa is a good edition too. Also, might sound odd, pumpkin seeds. Great in oatmeal.
ricamnstr@reddit
Oatmeal: The Quinoa Edition
IndianaFartJockey@reddit
Would that be a standalone broadcast or cereal episodes?
L0sing_Faith@reddit
Not stupid; just old 😂
IndianaFartJockey@reddit
How dare you be so accurate!
balding_git@reddit
addition
IndianaFartJockey@reddit
Yes, thank you for pointing out my mistake that I pointed out. Very helpful.
balding_git@reddit
i wasn’t correcting you, you genuinely seemed to be looking for the word. lighten up.
volitive@reddit
Sorry, bananas are contraindicated for the high blood pressure meds...
Ineedavodka2019@reddit
And chia seeds
rialucia@reddit
Good way to get a boost of protein in with all of that lovely fiber too!
sleepwalkfromsherdog@reddit
The protein will help even out the insulin spike.
Jasmirris@reddit
I miss shredded wheat so much since I shouldn't have gluten. I seriously give it puppy dog eyes in the aisle.
Big_Monday4523@reddit
For my gut and joint health I've started adding a gentle fibre supplement and collagen peptides powder to my morning oatmeal.
I loathed oatmeal when young. And now I'm all "oh this is such a tasty breakfast and doesn't upset my tummy!" Then humhumhums in happiness as I eat it.
symonym7@reddit
Did you know... you can ferment oats to mitigate GI warfare? I didn't, but I've been working on homemade granola recipes and fermenting oats is on deck.
BennyOcean@reddit
I have oatmeal and yogurt for breakfast every morning but I would never blend them.
Perfect oatmeal for me has oats, crushed walnuts, raisins, honey, cinnamon.
In a separate little cup: whole plain greek yogurt and a scoop of the best quality fruit preserves you can get your hands on.
someonestoleananke23@reddit
I only go to shows that have seating.
aytchdave@reddit
I’m not there yet but it’s coming. I was at a show where I was standing in one position for a long time. When I moved ands bent my back, I thought I was going to collapse from the pain. I never understood why you see older people moving their bodies and bending when most standing around until then.
sdcasurf01@reddit
Nah, we’ve got our lawns for Phish this summer. Gotta have room to dance.
Icy Hot on tap for the next day though…
someonestoleananke23@reddit
If I clear the day before and the day after I can manage it, as long as I avoid public transit and go to sleep at a normal time 🙃
Ippus_21@reddit
"You guys are going to shows?!"
someonestoleananke23@reddit
I've been wearing earplugs. I probably should have all this time, but only really started in the past few years
forevasleep@reddit
Sad
Jasmirris@reddit
Last time we did ga I said this is not for me. Too many people, made me super anxious and I was not nice to the people around me. Plus I couldn't see much because I'm short. Next time seating so I can see and enjoy more.
Sean_Kong@reddit
Yes, I haven’t been in a pit or ga seating in a good few years!
tronassembled@reddit
Oh man, the last show we went to, we bought seats thinking we would treat ourselves, and we ended up out on the floor cos we had to crane our necks weird from the seats, and I was relieved that I still liked standing up front. My 20 year old self is mortified by every single step of this thought process
Expert_Leek_9320@reddit
My new heating pad is perfect for my back pain
johnieringo@reddit
What?
Rillothebee2@reddit
I purchased a pocket book for native wildflowers and native birds.
StOnEy333@reddit
Just went from 1.25 to 1.75 on my readers.
Ok-Perspective5336@reddit
Not having any filter and saying it how it is.
Blue85Heron@reddit
Trying to decide which British detective show to watch with my husband tonight. I’m American.
Chainsawjack@reddit
Ouch
irememberthepotatoho@reddit
Gets excited to receive a vacuum for Christmas
Asthmatic_Gym_Bro@reddit
My first job was delivering weekly newspapers in elementary school.
ehsteve7@reddit
Recent debate is whether to get Skechers or New Balance shoes.
Trigirl20@reddit
My perennials that I bought on clearance are coming up. Plant lives matter. Hummingbirds are back! I have a supply of sugar water in my fridge. I had a hummingbird at one of my feeders the other day. He took a sip, looked at me and flew away. Came back in a couple minutes and did the same thing. I cleaned out his feeder, fresh water in, he came back and drank for a few. I can take a hint.
Soulvent84@reddit
The other day I described sitting on a bench as 'a nice sit down'.
BottleOk8922@reddit
Napster
heavymetalmurse@reddit
I'm rubbing Voltaren on my knees right now.
Ohshithereiamagain@reddit
Colonoscopy
InviteForsaken2857@reddit
Just finished a colonoscopy.
autricia@reddit
Hot flashes.
ComprehensiveRain423@reddit
Save that box . Thats a really good box . 📦
TentCardMaker@reddit
I have multiple sets of sheets to accommodate my night sweats
elysiumstarz@reddit
🫂
TentCardMaker@reddit
LOL I like genuinely needed that
No-Day-5964@reddit
Smells like rain.
dj911ice@reddit
Windows 3.11 for Workgroups
Cyrano17@reddit
All my shoes have laces but I wear them all as slip ons.
THEMACGOD@reddit
I would but I just picked up my phone and threw out my back.
zealousreader@reddit
I have to pee
rharper38@reddit
My knees hurt
UpperLowerMidwest@reddit
Bought Metallica's Kill 'em All when it was a brand new album.
ep_wizard@reddit
I know the login to check my 401K and do so often.
Kittylove1213@reddit
I told my wanna-be teen daughter to "chill out, dude." She told me she isn't a dude.
IAmAWretchedSinner@reddit
Check out my CD collection.
Kittylove1213@reddit
We moved recently... there are a few albums I know I'm missing, and I can't remember if there was a second box of cds.
77slevin@reddit
I'm yelling: 'Get off my lawn' on a daily basis and I don't own a lawn, I live in a second floor apartment.
Gloworm327@reddit
I've been limping on my right foot for 5 days now, but I didn't do anything to injure it.
Emdubs@reddit
I have a special place to store all my ointments.
Lovedogmorethanppl@reddit
I still watch the Brady Bunch
hilarypcraw@reddit
Why do people still go high school reunions?
frenchrangoon@reddit
I was very excited to try my hand at cleaning our windows with the jug thing that attaches to your hose. And very disappointed that it didn’t work
Different-Ad-9029@reddit
I cried when Tupac was killed.
Chronic-Bronchitis@reddit
I just changed my lawn mower blades.
demonmf@reddit
Some of my favorite songs from high school are played in the grocery store now.
VitaminC1982@reddit
I spent the morning placing various fruits and nuts out on our deck railing to see which ones the grey squirrels liked the most. (This went on for at least a couple hours...starting at 5 am.)
(BTW....1. Homemade Vegan Banana Pecan Muffins 2. Shell-On Pistachios 3. Dried Figs 4. Dried Cranberries)
marcos_MN@reddit
I’ve grown more accepting of trading some better-tasting food items in exchange for less ever-present health anxiety.
elysiumstarz@reddit
I like the way you've phrased this.
marcos_MN@reddit
That’s all my doctor, I can’t take credit.
thedarkpreacher65@reddit
Doctor told me to get more fiber in my diet to help lower my cholesterol. I switched from white bread to honey wheat, because healthy bread doesn't have to make you sad at the same time.
marcos_MN@reddit
I actually love the stuff with nuts and seeds in it. Sandwich bread was not something I had to change, thankfully!
mander1518@reddit
I tweaked my neck at dinner taking a bite of my fajita.
nefastvs@reddit
God damn it. I don't have time for this bullshit.
Lucerin187@reddit
When I wake up, I am more nervous if I do not feel any pain in my joints.
Happened a few times and man I thought I was dead.
whoarewe1234@reddit
arthritis
Mantzy81@reddit
Just got some varifocals
Callipeartree@reddit
My husband of 19 years and I haven’t been intimate in 4 years and I’m having an affair.
thickersettled@reddit
I feel you, sister.
HamOnTheCob@reddit
My shoulder hurts because I slept wrong
VinceAmonte@reddit
The idea of “going out” anything past 8pm sounds like torture
thickersettled@reddit
Look for "Bed by 10" events 🤣
Alternative-Meat4587@reddit
I keep bread ties.
thickersettled@reddit
I'm looking forward to an upcoming dance party "night" for the over-40s. It's from 3-8pm and is called Bed by 10.
And I know that if it ends at 8, I'll be leaving at 7.
DalekRy@reddit
I got home from work last night, walked my dog, took a bath and went straight to bed.
Worried_Ninja9015@reddit
IDGAF about anything
Additional-Local8721@reddit
I realized a few years ago, if you don't pay my bills, I don't care about your opinion.
thickersettled@reddit
This is my new mantra.
tropical-circus@reddit
That’s literally a saying in Brazil 😂 Someone starts giving you unwanted opinion or ‘mandate’ you do something, you look at them and say ‘do you pay my bills?’
a_solid_6@reddit (OP)
Oh man, I feel you on this. If I'm running this low on fucks at 42, I can't wait to see how great my 50s will feel.
Cascade-Regret@reddit
For when you are running low…
https://a.co/d/dgW5s23
neonblackiscool@reddit
I have no fucks to give at 42. I'm gonna live in a van down by the river and yell at people.
driftwood-and-waves@reddit
Same!!! I value very few people's opinions and I have very few hills to die on, but those hills won't be moved.
-don't be lazy or entitled.
don't be a dick/rude/disrespectful/degrade or an asshole.
don't mistreat animals.
There are probably a few more but unless you hit one of those I really dgaf.
I want to dye my hair blue, maybe get the sides shaved so I can do a Mohawk/Faux hawk, get a stick with FAFO carved in it so I can smack idiots and smoke a cigar or a pipe. Husband says no the cigar/pipe so I'm thinking about getting a pipe that blows bubbles.
Totally haven't thought about getting old AT ALL.
AdumLarp@reddit
Try a pipe. Smells better, and you can get some pretty sweet designs. Smoked my first cigar the other day. Made me want to throw up. I’ma stick with joints. Helps me sleep better anyway
ricamnstr@reddit
Maybe you just need to replenish your stock of ducks
a_solid_6@reddit (OP)
Hahaha I'm gonna leave those right there!
forevasleep@reddit
Could be any gen
Lazy_Mood_4080@reddit
Proud member of the We Do Not Care Club on Instagram. (@justbeingmelani if you were unaware).
ancilla1998@reddit
IFL her ... #WDNC!
MrNice1983@reddit
Not sure if you’re a Butthole Surfers man but this song sums it up for me
https://youtu.be/95V4N_6aqGE?si=o0SVQdRNay8S8Y5A
nugsy_mcb@reddit
Same but I’ve been doing that since about 2003
Best_Catch2482@reddit
X? What are you doing here??
JaseDroid@reddit
You sure gave a fuck about telling us that.
Worried_Ninja9015@reddit
Ouch, burn
Gold-Lion-8855@reddit
This, right here. The amount of caring I have for anyone else's opinion on me or my body is basically non-existent.
Glittering-Stuff-599@reddit
I’m so close but I’m still waiting for the moment I say “fuck it” and fire up the lawnmower shirtless and cut the grass out front.
FrankiesKnuckles@reddit
Haha exactly
Gregory_GTO@reddit
I start every sentence with "back in my day"
Drop32@reddit
I went to sleep now it takes 3 days for my neck to feel better.
Ditzy_Davros@reddit
Paperwork for a deceased parent sucks... a lot.
PearPsychological457@reddit
I was walking around my house, looking for my phone...while holding my phone.
Rdubya291@reddit
I fell asleep at 9:30 last nigh, and only had to wake up once to pee.
cheshirecat1919@reddit
My job was just eliminated and I’m just as concerned about my retirement as my mortgage.
RaqMountainMama@reddit
Every time I've seen a health care professional lately, I hear the words "age related".
Meliko069@reddit
Last year i bought all the Bird feeders and then i got a Labrador puppy that absolutely hates birds. She is basically the cock block to my midlife crisis
Meliko069@reddit
I walked in my pink crocs in charles Schwab and thought it’s business casual lol
linaraq@reddit
They play music from high school at the grocery store.
Speed_and_Violence@reddit
A 27 year old called my music oldies
linaraq@reddit
Clutches pearls. Rude.
Q-burt@reddit
And the music is all soft covers, not the rock (or what have you) that you listened to.
SlightChris@reddit
I recently went for a late nightcap at a drinking area that I frequented when I was in my twenties. I'm not going to do that again..
Peelboy@reddit
Drs appointments are a part time job
Dee_Buttersnaps@reddit
I don't know who 3/4 of these people are at most of these award shows.
Ippus_21@reddit
I enjoy identifying plants and wildlife, mostly for no other reason than "knowing what that thing is" feels neat.
Also, I make sound effects when I get out of bed. Or stand up from a chair. Or stretch. Snap crackle pop! Rice Krispies!
Speed_and_Violence@reddit
I have tennis elbow from holding my iPhone
Lili_Roze_6257@reddit
My wedding song is now being used to sell antacid.
Logical-Ganache-66@reddit
My husband gave me a new vacuum for Christmas and I was excited about it.
Hubs and I are excited about shopping for a new lamp.
Naps are the best thing in the world!
What day/year is it?
I never let my tank get below half in my vehicles.
I have 4 boxes of hair color in my bathroom.
I put up a bunch of bird feeders this year.
I prefer a nice long ride on the pontoon over the jet ski.
The music I grew up with is now considered oldies.
Over night test drive of a new vehicle just to make sure it doesn't hurt my back.
I lost my first friend to a heart attack while shoveling snow this year.
DaiseyOopsie@reddit
Standing up or sitting down comes with a variety of ooohs, huffs and creaks.
Blando-Cartesian@reddit
My back starts hurting unless I walk enough.
Good_Grief_CB@reddit
I find myself saying “I’m too old for this shit” on a regular basis.
avecmaria@reddit
Plantar fasciitis 🤪
Good_Grief_CB@reddit
The worst!! The absolute worst!
ladybug1215@reddit
I’m experiencing that for the first time—it started after I spent 3 days walking around on concrete floors a month ago and hasn’t let up yet. I’m afraid this may be my new normal.
avecmaria@reddit
It should go away, which is a relief, but sometimes it takes a few weeks!
sixmilesoldier@reddit
Also first time experiencing this, I thought my heel was telling me that it’s time to sit down.
Diesel07012012@reddit
I get back spasms if I don't sneeze right.
hummingbird_feeder_@reddit
I don’t like to go downtown.
Chattown81@reddit
I only go downtown for my doctor's appointments now.
Nearby-Importance-64@reddit
Me neither, mostly because I hate to find parking
Best-Window-2879@reddit
Let me tell you about the new sheets I just bought
SuperNintendad@reddit
I’m subscribed to r/xennials
Speed_and_Violence@reddit
My people
Character_Pop_6628@reddit
I have a question for my lawyer but I am NOT emailing him, he charges me for every email, I'm going to take Ambien and Google my legal question and go on reddit and even ask an A.I. for legal advice rather than asking my lawyer ....who I pay.... to know the law.... for me....
CReeseRozz@reddit
I co woke this morning with the WORST crick in my neck. I can’t even turn my head to the right.
humblesunbro@reddit
My Lawn is looking really nice after I reseeded it and let it thicken out.
Bodgerton@reddit
Sorry, I can't come into work, I threw my back out brushing my teeth...
4NotMy2Real0Account@reddit
Them- "Got any plans for your days off?"
Me- "im going to mow my lawn"
tacoChons@reddit
Sick for 3 day in a row from a cough.
shrimp-and-potatoes@reddit
My wounds take twice as long to heal.
misterBalladeer@reddit
stands up "aaauuughhhh."
Lorindale@reddit
My back hurts.
wickedchicken83@reddit
I have a stance and hold the wall even I sneeze.
VisualVeganPerv@reddit
I miss sex.
soft_white_yosemite@reddit
I really didn’t want the dog, but I had to agree with getting it.
Aggressive_Salt_3118@reddit
I named my thick thigh squirrel I meet out back while I sip coffee "Megan the stallion". She's fun to watch.
putitontheunderhills@reddit
My neck! My back! My neck and my back!
crypto64@reddit
My neck! My back! My anxiety attack!
forevasleep@reddit
Upvoted by 147 Mormons
the_grand_wazoo_@reddit
Doctor says I need a backiatomy!
Happy-Tower-3920@reddit
I say this unironically all the time.
HipHopGrandpa@reddit
Get away from, bitch! I’m impotent!
nugsy_mcb@reddit
He was sleeping with my momma!
BalrogRuthenburg11@reddit
Atom1419@reddit
Green eyes gonna miss ya!a
Atom1419@reddit
Green eyes gonna miss ya!
intrinsic_idioms@reddit
My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks
sleepwalkfromsherdog@reddit
Ben & Jerry's makes a Netflix ice cream called "Netflix and Chilled." It has three cows on a couch watching TV on the carton. Either they didn't know the origin of the term or they missed an opportunity to put pineapple in the ice cream.
Polkawillneverdie17@reddit
A physical therapist did wonders for me. A doctor got me a few meds to alleviate the pain (gabapentin, meloxicam, cyclobenzaprine) and I'm miles better than I was 3 months ago.
Not sure if any of thst would work for you, but seeing a specialist to get an x-ray and PT really helped.
putitontheunderhills@reddit
That's super helpful thank you. While I definitely deal with the back/core/neck pain I think all 40-something's do, I was just making a movie reference in this case.
crimson-gh0st@reddit
Bozo_dubbed_over@reddit
But we can settle it out of court right now for 20 bucks
Johnykbr@reddit
Speaking of, im going as Unicorse for halloween because he is my spirit animal.
IdiotSoapbox@reddit
synchronizedmaeven@reddit
VCR
No-Coffee-9207@reddit
I woke up at 1:14 a.m. to pee, and since then, I've not only changed my clothes 3x's to accommodate my hot/cold flashes, but I've also managed to do dishes, rearrange a few cabinets, clean out my fridge, write my "to do" list for the day, and start prepping today's meals, but then I decided "screw it," made a pot of coffee and decided I'm just awake now until my body decides I'm no longer a functional member of society (and eventually betrays me midday when all anyone in this house will see is me lying in bed). Lol.
It is now 5:24 a.m. I have decided that means it is my afternoon, and poured myself a glass of 🍷 to enjoy while I make breakfast, throw dinner in a Crock-Pot, and wait for the sun to come up so I can take out trash and mow the front lawn.
Send Help.
RinoaRita@reddit
Went out dancing “all night” and was back before midnight. Oh and the next day my knees and lower back hurt lol.
regnare@reddit
Player two could control the ducks in duck hunt.
gluttonia507@reddit
I didn't know this was a thing! My inner child feel robbed of joy
merkel36@reddit
I love this one, I had completely forgotten about that!
Caboobaroo@reddit
Gotta run to Costco for another bulk pack of ibuprofen.
Minnow_Minnow_Pea@reddit
Y'all really need to try naproxen.
neonblackiscool@reddit
I always hated Costco, now I'm a big fan and rave to everyone. So middle-aged.
One-Hat-9887@reddit
Hot flashes
nathanielsnurpis@reddit
I was beaming while talking about my new cervical neck pillow. Unprompted.
Opposite-Heron-2487@reddit
I once sprained my ankle while I was sleeping
Minnow_Minnow_Pea@reddit
I feel you. I dislocated my hip in my sleep. 🤦🏼♀️
Logvin@reddit
My wife broke her neck in her sleep!
kellybelly4815@reddit
Ok there’s gotta be a story behind this, right? Right?!
Logvin@reddit
She had developed an insomnia due to some meds she was on. One night she went into the bathroom, and fell asleep standing up. She woke up when she hit the ground.
kellybelly4815@reddit
That makes way more sense than what I was picturing, which was her somehow breaking her neck while lying in bed.
Logvin@reddit
As a father of three, my go-to line when people ask what happened is usually "Well she was standing. Then she wasn't."
darcys_beard@reddit
topshelfvanilla@reddit
Wow! I can do it standing still, but this is truly impressive
Chadohfax@reddit
That happened to me and no one believed me...
a_solid_6@reddit (OP)
Now that takes talent!
Acrobatic_Sound_7127@reddit
The older you get, the funnier you are!
MadeItOutInTime95969@reddit
I fully chose 2 hours of sleep over sex the other day. I am an actual sex addict. I did not regret a second of that nap.
Cleercutter@reddit
I sleep with a pillow under my knees now. It seriously helps keeps my hips from rolling out of their fucking sockets in the middle of the night
Ordinary-Gap-6974@reddit
I had a midlife crisis and got face tattoos like i was listening to gangster rap in middle school
TXteachr2018@reddit
Filling out forms, applications, etc should be done on your laptop, not your phone.
lirio2u@reddit
White pubes from no where
Fun_Cable_8559@reddit
I'm at the point if I injure one joint, the act of compensating for it will almost certainly mess up an entirely different joint in another part of my body.
QualityParticular739@reddit
I sat down too hard on the bed and threw my back out.
I really wish I was kidding. 😩
eiram-ilak@reddit
I close my eyes to recall things/memories. I remember my parents and grandparents doing that and being annoyed and now I do it.
UAC_EMPLOYEE4793@reddit
I have a bed time, 9pm
elysiumstarz@reddit
Mines 9:45. My cat yells at me if I'm late.
soulsteela@reddit
I saw a young woman all dressed up for a nightclub and thought “ she’s going to be freezing later “! Gutted. Not what my mind would have come up with years ago.
QuorkyAardvark@reddit
Stop touching the thermostat.
darcys_beard@reddit
Shut that door.
QuorkyAardvark@reddit
I’m not paying to heat/cool the outside.
elysiumstarz@reddit
And turn off the damn lights while you're at it!
PuzzleheadedStage426@reddit
Im proper bee keeping age
Lvanwinkle18@reddit
Can you pick that up for me? If so have to kneel down, I will never be able to get back up.
alehanjro2017@reddit
🎶After these messages, we'll be right back.🎶
HelloFellowKidlings@reddit
I’m starting to trust farts less and less.
Hot-Toe7541@reddit
A baked 2 dozen miniature fruit pies last night because the mangos were going bad and I had a feeling I had strawberries frozen somewhere in my freezer. I've eaten 14.
zomanda@reddit
My first dick pick was given to me on a Polaroid.
SLyndon4@reddit
I occasionally have to use Voltaren pain relieving gel after I wear high heels for a couple hours, pretty sure I’m starting to develop arthritis in one foot. Oh, and I keep a pair of readers in my desk drawer at work for days when my eyes are tired and can’t focus on the computer screen.
yours_truly_1976@reddit
THUNDERCATS HOOOO!!!
VincentMac1984@reddit
I appreciate not having plans for the weekend
KindaKrayz222@reddit
Sigh...
juan_tons@reddit
This dessert was great…not too sweet!
dailyoracle@reddit
Movies about an aging father near the end of their life and their estranged, middle-aged son… hit so unexpectedly deep.
sllh81@reddit
Eating earlier is more efficient and helps you beat the dinner rush crowds.
FlairWolf31@reddit
I’m into silver coins, smoking meat, and propagating succulents.
I got old old reeeeeaaaaal fast.
IHAVENOIDEA0980@reddit
I can't name most of the artists I hear on the radio.
IHAVENOIDEA0980@reddit
I have no idea who most of the younger celebrities are.
EbonAskivi@reddit
Ear hair.
DooficusIdjit@reddit
I injured my shoulder by sleeping in a new bed. It’s been fucked for a year.
rdogg_82@reddit
I'm celebrating migraine awareness month, with a full blown aura migraine.
Slammogram@reddit
Oh no friend!
Cup of coffee. Tylenol and Ibuprofen at the same time, and then suck down a cup of water.
This sometimes works for me.
rdogg_82@reddit
Thank you friend.
Slammogram@reddit
Lemme know.
rdogg_82@reddit
4 advils in, getting better. Cant take too much because of stupid ibs.
Basicly a trade off head vs stomach pain.
Slammogram@reddit
Omg. Are migraines and IBS hand in hand? I also have IBS.
Do you have ADHD as well?!
rdogg_82@reddit
Yes sometimes all at once. No diagnosis of adhd but it would explain a few things.
Milk kefir is great if you get ibs.
Aethyr42@reddit
I had a sparkle headache last night too! Now I get to feel weird for two days and be scared of every light reflection in the house.
Slammogram@reddit
Yes! It’s awful! Luckily I don’t get them often. But I do have headaches more often than I don’t.
Once in a while I also get the pukey headaches. I think they are cluster, honestly
redtopquark1@reddit
If you don’t already have it, I cannot recommend sumatriptan enough. I wish I had gotten my ass to the doctor and gotten a prescription for it years earlier than I did.
SuperDiscreetTrex@reddit
I'm so sorry! I have chronic migraines, but Botox has helped so much.
I hope you can find relief soon.
VRM11f@reddit
2 weeks ago my elbow was just my elbow. Now I wear a brace or else it hurts terribly. No injury. Just woke up like this 💁🏼♀️
TheNickelLady@reddit
Kids are on my fucking lawn.
hooti_hooo@reddit
Everything gives me heartburn.
HenriDuflot@reddit
Rice.a Roni - The San Francisco treat
AllTh3Naps@reddit
I remember powdered soap in public bathrooms. It was awesome.
MukYJ@reddit
Progressive lenses.
Single focus lenses aren’t quite cutting it anymore.
capt7430@reddit
My Cologuard test kit just arrived in the mail.
valliewayne@reddit
Lucky! I had a small polyp and have to do a colonoscopy every 7 years now.
jawanessa@reddit
Family history, got my first one at 37, two years later than recommended. Have to get them every 5 years.
emilystartsfires@reddit
Years? YEARS? You are both ever so lucky. I get them 3 or 4 times a year. I have advanced Crohn's Disease. Endoscopy colonoscopy two for one every season change. I wish I could go a whole year without one. Lucky ducks.
jawanessa@reddit
I'm so sorry, that sounds absolutely miserable. The drink is so awful, it takes everything I have not to vomit it up before it can do it's job. If I had to do them that often, I'd have to find an alternative for the plenvue.
emilystartsfires@reddit
I do the miralax prep. The 267 gram bottle mixed in 64 ounces of water. It's much easier to stomach thick ice cold water than literally any other liquid. There are alternatives to the plenvue! Tell your doctor it's difficult and painful... there's literally 2 dozen ways!
jawanessa@reddit
OMG, thank you so much! I have mine next year and I will definitely ask for something else. The miralax wasn't bad at all when I used it for my hysterectomy.
emilystartsfires@reddit
Same exact mechanism and theory. Ask your doctor! It's totally a thing.
jawanessa@reddit
Thank you so much!
Longjumping-Air1489@reddit
Uuuuugggghhhhh.
Sorry. Just getting up from the couch.
Fluid_Explorer_3659@reddit
My back hurts, and I'm always tired
HenriDuflot@reddit
Rice a Roni - The San Francisco treat
Guitar_Nutt@reddit
Goddamnit someone loaded the dishwasher wrong
Longflop@reddit
Everything hurts
slain1134@reddit
I know what day it is by means of my vitamin container.
DesignIntelligent456@reddit
I can differentiate the hummingbirds that come to my feeders, and I've named them.
xennialmusic@reddit
You can train them to eat from your hand if you spend enough time getting them used to you.
More_Garlic6598@reddit
Thats just awesome ^^
Simple_Ad7313@reddit
Looking while backing up your car, and your back cracks... twice. 🙄
Any_Version6722@reddit
I find the crunchy sounds my knees make somewhat fascinating
tgbarbie@reddit
I hurt my back rowing at the gym this morning. I wear a night guard. I eat cottage cheese every day for the protein. I have to sleep in an eye mask. (And im in good shape and pretty healthy!)
Any_Version6722@reddit
I sleep with a night guard and eye mask too and love it. Once they’re both on/in, it’s like my body is being told, ok, shutting down for the night…
PlauntieP@reddit
I have reading glasses in every room and in every purse yet I still can’t find a pair when I need them.
Any_Version6722@reddit
I have a large bowl of readers in the middle of my dining room table and still sometimes go somewhere and have none
AustinGearHead@reddit
I'm recovering from a spinal fusion at c6-c7 and a disc replacement at c5-c6.
The pain is gone tho!
jawanessa@reddit
Oof, I feel that. I have 3 bulging discs in my cervical spine, plus arthritis and stenosis. Surgery is in my future, but for now I'm doing okay with steroid injections every 3 months.
AustinGearHead@reddit
I wish you the best! The injection did nothing for me and that's what sealed the deal for surgery. The doctor said "not all of the jelly has left the donut, but what has left is NOT going back in."
jawanessa@reddit
I'm about to do my 7th or 8th one next week, each one has gotten progressively better. My pain doc is fantastic. I started taking Celebrex to manage the arthritis this year and I managed to get to 4 months before needing to schedule this time. Previously by 8 weeks I was miserable and counting down the days until I could get the next one. My husband had the surgery about a decade ago when he was in his mid 40s, and I can't imagine not being able to even slightly crack my neck anymore. He says it's worth it though!
jkpublic@reddit
The other day I was in the kitchen listening to NPR and eating a couple prunes, when suddenly my hip pain flared -- you know, because of my sciatica -- making me stop and think:
"what in the world happened to me?" and
"Maybe I need to go piss on a cop car or something to relive the college days" and
"I wonder if one of those massage guns I saw at Costco would help."
davidbfromcali@reddit
You know, driving 65, and listening to KLove on the morning commute really prepares me for my day
RazorRamonio@reddit
My neck, my back…
BIGepidural@reddit
It hurts.
marmot1101@reddit
Dude, check out my bathroom remodel
underwearfanatic@reddit
I installed some new insulation this weekend. Can't wait to see the savings on my utility bill!
kmill0202@reddit
I just got a dishwasher and new sink put in. That's probably been the highlight of my year so far. To be fair though, I've never had a dishwasher before, and I absolutely hate washing dishes by hand. So this has been amazing for me. I'd probably be over the moon with a bathroom remodel.
ancilla1998@reddit
I was hoping to see a DIY post!
marmot1101@reddit
It was DI-someone-else. If Id done it I’d be bragging to anyone that would listen.
Also said the middle aged guy
thedarkpreacher65@reddit
How much that set ya back?
kellyk311@reddit
Damn I feel called out 🤣
Morriganx3@reddit
Ok, but bathroom remodels can be really cool. Mine is eventually going to be Roman baths!
marmot1101@reddit
I age appropriately agree and want pictures
AoedeSong@reddit
lol I feel this hahahaha I try to show people pictures they’re like uhhh nice?
PinkFloydDeadhead@reddit
Waking up with injuries I didn't have the night before.
Boooooooooooo-u-suck@reddit
I wake up to pee to every 3-ish hours.
Glass-Marionberry321@reddit
My fashion sense is often costco
ValancyNeverReadsit@reddit
I sat in a chair in one position for a while and when I stood up my knee felt like I had twisted it.
Sekshual_Tyranosauce@reddit
I have lawn mowing shoes, a sensible pick up truck and two different kinds of smokers.
Pleasant-Resident327@reddit
I can’t have a glass of wine tonight because I had a glass of wine last night.
kmill0202@reddit
Some of my classmates have toddlers or even babies. Others are already grandparents.
jfk_one@reddit
im at the skatepark in the morning
InfiniteBoops@reddit
I lost a bunch of weight and my back pain changed. It didn’t go away, it just changed. On a related note, starting to budget for bifocals…be nice if I could find my actual glasses though. Oh, they were on my head. Probably shouldn’t have any water after dinner, don’t want to have to get up and pee tonight.
BrosephBruckuss@reddit
I am happily selling a drum machine to pay for a CPAP machine
SokkaHaikuBot@reddit
^Sokka-Haiku ^by ^BrosephBruckuss:
I am happily
Selling a drum machine to
Pay for a CPAP machine
^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Different_Ease_7539@reddit
My husband and I watched a game show on the TV as we ate our dinner the other evening.
SlumberingSnorelax@reddit
I sometimes really do miss playing Sopwith on my IBM 5160. The only real question was green or amber?
Killahdanks1@reddit
I mean I like Yoo Hoo. It’s good, I’ve had a lot of it. But if you offered me one right now, I don’t think I’d want it.
SparkySparkyBoomMn@reddit
I sprained my ankle shooting hoops a few weeks ago. Not playing basketball, just literally shooting hoops. I resprained it the other day walking.
No_Blackberry6525@reddit
Even though I don’t think I’ve used it in 15 years, I have a checkbook.
Shelbelle4@reddit
I have tennis elbow but don’t play tennis.
maddvayne13@reddit
Bought a motorcycle last year, downloaded a bird chirp app this past week, enjoy front porch sitting more and more, go to bed before 9pm on weekends, mow the lawn and stare at it for hours and keen on the fancy rose bushes in the yard.
sprinklesadded@reddit
This weekend, my friend and I were comparing our cpap machines.
ajmarzka@reddit
I watch live bird feed from Cornell University.
ajmarzka@reddit
My back hurts from gardening.
BSugaHi@reddit
I have to hold my lower back every time I get out of bed.
wandering_revenant@reddit
I owned a point-and-shoot film camera as a kid.
Amazing-Cellist3672@reddit
I have a pair of reading glasses in every room of the house
forevasleep@reddit
JFC this sub sounds older than the silent generation. Pathetic.
a_solid_6@reddit (OP)
Brilliant comment on a thread that's specifically about how we know we're getting older. What did you expect to read here? The whole sub doesn't sound like this. We're just venting. What's pathetic is reading through all the comments and dropping multiple grumpy replies telling people they're "sad" and "pathetic." You sound more miserable than anybody here.
forevasleep@reddit
Meh
a_solid_6@reddit (OP)
Whew! Good thing nobody gives a shit what you think or we'd be in trouble! You sure you don't want to edit your comment a 9th time?
forevasleep@reddit
All good. Gave you an up-doot.
forevasleep@reddit
Brilliant reply to a brilliant comment…no expectation…correct…and?…maybe maybe not.
Fag
sixjasefive@reddit
I hope I only farted.
Reasonable_Cap_8026@reddit
Conversations with friends about taxes.... Sales, property, income, etc.
Important_Wheel_2101@reddit
I look visibly older after a night of drinking
Richunclskeletn@reddit
I busted out the old PS3 to play GTA 5. And I had to put my readers on
postscarcity@reddit
I love the northern lights but i can't stay awake to check em out
No-Muffin-874@reddit
I have a collection of good boxes. Not because I really need them, but. I might.
IGotMyPopcorn@reddit
I can feel storms coming…
Q-burt@reddit
This feels good that y'all are catching up to me. (I have Crohn's, two types of arthritis, and a few other conditions and have had for about 15 years. I have so many pills, I need one pill box per day with slots for morning, afternoon, and night.)
damngoat@reddit
I tore my rotator cuff.. possibly because I blinked too fast seeing as I did not actually do anything to cause it.
Amazing-Position-224@reddit
Everything hurts
msg43@reddit
Ow, my back
casapantalones@reddit
Two words: plantar fasciitis
DirtRevolutionary410@reddit
My knees know its going to rain before I do.
jeffdill2@reddit
I buy my cereal based on fiber content.
Jumpy-Second-4301@reddit
Both my husband and I have a very sexy nighttime routine of putting on nose strips and sleep masks every night
rialucia@reddit
My husband and I have a similar sexy nighttime routine, only ours is putting on our CPAP masks. I wear an eye mask too.
MisRandomness@reddit
Did it just get very hot in here?!?
saykylenotcow@reddit
My shoulder now pops like my knuckles, so there’s that.
WaxWorkKnight@reddit
Turned my head suddenly when my kids wanted my attachment. I now have some of a muscle pull and am scheduled to see my doctor tomorrow
PurpleBrief697@reddit
I carry lactose pills and aleve with me at all times.
rialucia@reddit
We buy the lactose pills in bulk at Costco now and keep them in a jar in the living room and in the kitchen and I usually have a stash in my purse.
MSRegiB@reddit
I bought a parsley plant today to plant beside my rosemary & thyme outside.
rialucia@reddit
I noticed that the plastic in my new 7-day am/pm pill container is flimsier than my old one that has half the labels rubbed off of it.
And speaking of medication, I am traveling for work and my mail order pharmacy order arrived today, so I texted my husband to ask him to get bring it inside since we don’t necessarily bring in our mail everyday. He got the text while he was at the pharmacy picking up his own prescriptions. Between the two of us we’re on 10 prescriptions and 2 supplements.🤪
Q-burt@reddit
One word: Bifocals
AbbreviationsGlad833@reddit
I get up to pee at 3 am every single night
tacostonight@reddit
I now fill out diet restriction requests at business conferences.
gwenderson@reddit
I think I just bought culottes?
flambethegreat@reddit
My husband put on a YouTube playlist called 'oldies rock' with the following bands: Soundgarden, Butthole Surfers, Beck, Bush, Matchbox 20, Blues Traveler, Harvey Danger, Incubus, The Foo Fighters, 3rd Eye Blind, and others from the peak 90's.
I'm trying not to sit here sobbing.
Express_Gur1353@reddit
Just bought a smoker/griddle/bbq combo at home depot
pazdeezy1@reddit
Mini vans seem like a viable auto choice
aimper@reddit
Really trying to work on my wordle scores. Getting up there. 👆
zoiks213@reddit
I have to use almond milk in my cereal otherwise my farts can clear a city bus.
neonblackiscool@reddit
Lactose is my enemy as well. I tempted fate a few times with a milkshake and didn't even make it home
zoiks213@reddit
I've been there friend, I'm sorry for the loss of a pair of undies.
neonblackiscool@reddit
Public garbage bin to the rescue!
NoOccasion4759@reddit
My entire outfit was purchased from Costco.
neonblackiscool@reddit
They have good shit!
Just_a_lazy_lurker@reddit
I need to get my wife to pluck my ears again.
neonblackiscool@reddit
Plucking my granny beard as I read this.
TheRandomestWonderer@reddit
Perimenopause. My body and personality has shifted so much it’s hard to recognize myself these days. Hormones control basically all of who you are on all levels. When those slowly slip away everything about you changes. It’s reverse puberty, while also jerking away what you thought you knew about yourself. Actual menopause is a frightening prospect.
thedarkpreacher65@reddit
My new air fryer came with a laminated cheat sheet and my wife was super excited.
HackedCylon@reddit
I dread tying my shoes in the morning.
DJMagicHandz@reddit
When I kneel it sounds like someone housing a bag of pork rinds.
neonblackiscool@reddit
LOLL
neon_honey@reddit
The hip 20 somethings at my work ask what the punk scene or the rave scene was like "back in my day"
neonblackiscool@reddit
BeRad419@reddit
Advil every morning, every night. Advil
Throw-away17465@reddit
I used to spend a few hundreds in merch from my favorite bands each year…
Now i spend that money on compression stockings… and sitting at shows
neonblackiscool@reddit
LOLLL
redtopquark1@reddit
Yawned, had to take a couple sick days and my back pills for a week.
neonblackiscool@reddit
I live a body outline in sweat every night thanks to perimenopause. I also smell like onions so I have to wash first thing. It's super cool.
donkeyuptheminaret@reddit
They were playing Sweet Child of Mine at the bakery this morning.
englishpatrick2642@reddit
I don't have time for this nonsense. Got a lot of work to do on my lawn.
knightm7R@reddit
My first swear word on record was walking into the neighbor’s living room where my older sister and her friends were watching Friday the 13th on HBO and I said about Kevin Bacon and his lady friend: “They’re fucking.”
zero-ex-two-ay@reddit
My knee hurts when I sit, stand, or walk.
Sweet_Science6371@reddit
I dreamt of owning the robot from Rocky IV
GeneralKale2160@reddit
I shop for clothes at Costco.
pee_shudder@reddit
I require 800mg of Ibuprofen to sleep
guardbiscuit@reddit
Knee
DarkTannhauserGate@reddit
I prefer raisins to chocolate chips in all cases
CDJMC@reddit
Prunes are the best!
ulfniu@reddit
I was eating a meal at a bar/restaurant and around 10pm they dimmed the lights and turned up the music. I could not get out of there fast enough.
daggomit@reddit
Waking up hurts.
Ok-Entertainer-5903@reddit
I spent most of this evening submitting rebate paperwork to a big box store.
CDJMC@reddit
I hate driving at night. It’s so dark out! And all the newfangled headlights are so damn bright!
SpookyBeck@reddit
I got in my car the other day and as I stepped in I twisted wrong I guess and had to get a steroid shot.
theoriginalneel@reddit
About a year ago I somehow pooped wrong and couldn't stand up straight for a day.
mandn92196@reddit
I sound like a Transformer whenever I sit or stand up.
Ok_Bike_369@reddit
this was the first year I got into straight sauerkraut as a "fun snack"
BetterCallSlash@reddit
Grew up in a quiet suburb and moved to the city as soon as I could. Today I complained to my S.O. that there are too many goddamn people in our neighborhood anymore
No_Ground8754@reddit
Colostrum and collagen subscription service
lollipop-guildmaster@reddit
The correct price of a McDonald's value meal is $2.99.
GSM_Biker@reddit
Sometimes I get out of bed, and the next thing I know I’m on the floor.
It doesn’t hurt (at least not more than the numb daily pains), it’s just that my legs weren’t as awake as my mind.
I get up and find the coffee grinder.
It’s a good day.
Imnotthatduder@reddit
My fingers hurt when I type too much. Ouch
Difficult-Ad-6852@reddit
Everything hurts all the time
RiverSongEcho@reddit
I'm sitting on the floor. Can someone help me up please?
ImProcrastinatinHere@reddit
I had a physical therapy appointment today.
NickiTikkiTavi@reddit
My nemesis is a fat squirrel who keeps digging up my garden.
Uberbons42@reddit
I love being on the west coast because all the midnight events are at 9pm.
Mudassar40@reddit
Sometimes I do nothing productive at all for a full day, and I'm perfectly fine with it.
Rich-Violinist-7263@reddit
My favorite thing is to dilly dally…🤣 Maybe this is my answer to you and OP.
ruby_jewels@reddit
Yeah, I realised this the other day, that I don't give a rats about the rat race anymore.
therog08@reddit
My day today
HalfFrozenSpeedos@reddit
I'm not there yet....still feel like I NEED to do something (generally as my to do pile keeps growing)
freeloadingfred@reddit
I threw my back out waking up
Nyrlath@reddit
Reading this hurt my back.
threadward@reddit
I dislocated my shoulder rolling over in bed.
Academic_Coach2415@reddit
Went to my first bingo night at a firehouse and I had a blast
ronnieberries@reddit
Eating after 7 pm is too late.
Rwdscz@reddit
I found candy cigarettes the other day…
ToteBagAffliction@reddit
I'm very excited to have tracked down a pair of NIB leather Born sneakers on eBay. I already know my size with this brand, so I don't have to go to the store to try anything on, and they're an older model and list the EU size as well as the US one, so they are likely lined with leather and my metatarsal support pads will stick to that more easily than a synthetic liner.
ReWine29@reddit
One of the most relaxing things in the world for me is sitting on the front porch and slicing an apple with a Case pocket knife while watching the neighborhood. I also look forward to cutting my grass on the weekend.
Revolutionary-Emu154@reddit
I use the word “rich” when talking about desserts and actually understand what it means
DefinitionHellscape@reddit
I pulled my back when I sneezed.
5l339y71m3@reddit
FillupDubya@reddit
What
Pristine_Software_55@reddit
It’s.. the Polka Dot Door, the Polka Dot Door, For friends and stories and so much more, So get ready, get set, for the Polka Dot Door
disco008a@reddit
I can’t help but admire my edging work on my lawn every time I pull out of the driveway. I really try not to, but every time I have to glance down the sidewalk both ways. Smh…
SonOfSparda1984@reddit
I coughed wrong and hurt my back, couldn't stand or sit straight for 3 days.
lynypixie@reddit
I just got my new glasses. They are bi focal.
Pale-Weather-2328@reddit
reading glasses all over the house
Asking if a restaurant is “quiet” as a main interesting in dining there
Only going to see shows that end by 11 pm
noticing weird hairs popping out of weird places
Being shocked at the price of things and comparing those prices to 20 years ago
Justinterestingenouf@reddit
Everything hurts. Everything
BlindLantern@reddit
My back.
twicelife_real@reddit
I’m on day 18 with the neck stiffness from sleeping on it wrong. And if I sit for more than 30 minutes, I have to walk gingerly for about 20’ before my back and legs loosen up.
PinkMacTool@reddit
I like to study history
Push_Past@reddit
“Early in the morning risevinyo the streets”
sixmilesoldier@reddit
I look forward to mowing the lawn
AnalMohawk@reddit
What's the name of that haircut all the boys are wearing these days?
sixmilesoldier@reddit
Broccoli Rob
armaedes@reddit
mcavian1985@reddit
I really need to get out in the yard and do some work....
ramblingpariah@reddit
I once limped for a week because I hurt my knee putting on a sock.
SBMoo24@reddit
I got called "Ma'am" once, and haven't been the same since.
armaedes@reddit
I hear a cracking sound when I go from sitting to standing and I’m not 100% sure where it’s coming from.
TouristPineapple6123@reddit
I have been talked into liquid laundry detergent, switching from powder.I would have also bought the fabric conditioner but the store ran out of the unscented and lime and I wasn't feeling the lavender. Plus I have actually been using white vinegar...
My friend and I could clear the table for ourselves just by talking about new laundry stuff lol
urkdngme@reddit
I love my Dyson vacuum!
Roqjndndj3761@reddit
I get injured in my sleep
Brilliant_Ad_1508@reddit
I bought some yo-yo loaches because my tank has a snail pest infestation. They are so active they are becoming my favorites in the entire tank.
Pure-Ad-2058@reddit
If I don't lift my right leg when I sneeze then I get a shooting pain in my hip.
cyrano72@reddit
My knee sounds like a bowl of rice crispys being crushed when I walk downstairs.
Tylerdurden389@reddit
2 beers means 3 bathroom breaks in 2 hours. 3 beers means 5 bathroom breaks in 3 hours. I mostly drink red wine now, and hardly ever get drunk anymore.
sgrams04@reddit
Ouch
KickAsh10@reddit
Pilates
Fluffy_Debate_1944@reddit
I wear ear plugs and look through binoculars at all concerts.
MaybeSwedish@reddit
My foot hurts. My back hurts.
More_Garlic6598@reddit
My boyfriend just told me what flavor of TUMS are his favorite.
spl4tterb0x@reddit
Sigh... Ugh.
Possible-Tangelo9344@reddit
Huh?!
JD_Awww_Yeah@reddit
When it rains, I’ll be super happy because my lawn needs it.
Jaded_Specialist1453@reddit
Today is said to my teenager “Shakira’s hips don’t lie. My hips yell at me because they’re irritated”
Fappy_as_a_Clam@reddit
I hurt my back sitting down.
I wasn't in the act of sitting down, I had already sat down and was sitting. I moved just the right way, and that was that. Stiff the rest of the day.
MotorbikeNick@reddit
I own one of those 30 day pill organizers
RemarkableKey3622@reddit
I pulled my ciatica going from the kitchen to the living room
jyc23@reddit
Taking midday naps has really helped my afternoon energy levels … you should try them sometime …
Material-Strength-92@reddit
I get excited when plans get cancelled.
Happy-Tower-3920@reddit
Solid answer.
ALadysImagination@reddit
Yes! Cause then you get credit for making plans and appearing social, but you can stay at home and don’t actually have to interact with anybody! Win win
TehPatch@reddit
I chuckled when the teacher said erector set
RedSolez@reddit
My daughter made fun of me for asking if my ear buds can pick up my voice through the Bluetooth or if I'd have to hold my phone up to use the microphone when on a phone call. I told her back in my day, the piece you heard out of was separate from the piece you spoke into when you made a call, so this is a totally valid question.
Annie_Mayfield@reddit
I had to get progressive lenses in my glasses.
tabbyk@reddit
I got a lower bed because mine was too tall and hard to get into. My knees always hurt. I buy in bulk and live alone.
NothingAndNow111@reddit
"It's so loud in there, you just can't have a conversation, and WTF is that music? '
Nephian4287@reddit
Went to a clinic for a bump on my leg and the doctor suggested a finger up the ass as a matter of recourse.
Sos_the_Rope@reddit
Every commercial for drugs uses music I grew up listening to.
Self-MadeRmry@reddit
I’m just…always…tired…
And if I stay still for too long in any position, it starts to hurt. Standing, sitting, laying down, doesn’t matter. Have to constantly shift
GirlCiteYourSources@reddit
I’m due for my screening colonoscopy this year.
Tricky-Comfortable66@reddit
I have house Tylenol, car Tylenol, purse Tylenol, and work bag Tylenol
tolkienwhiteboy@reddit
Apparently, the answer for gout is water.
zombievenom@reddit
What time is it? Almost 8? Yeah it’s about bedtime. Also why the hell is stuff I listened to in high school playing on classic rock stations now?
JamisonW@reddit
I genuinely love talking about the weather.
ruby_jewels@reddit
Oh, I too had a cardinal stoo by my border feeder for the first time today!
JJD8705@reddit
I got mad at the neighbor hood kids taking a short cut through my yard…. Get off my lawn!
JJD8705@reddit
90s rock is now classic rock
laserfaces@reddit
4 days? Those are rookie numbers
tropical-circus@reddit
Get home after work (I work 3-11) e I cannot go to bed before adjusting the pillows on the couch😔 my dog drops them all every single day and it annoys me so much.
Sa-ro-ki@reddit
“Honey, did you pick up my Thyroid medication?”
tahmorex@reddit
I was going to say something, but forgot what it was.
National_Geologist29@reddit
I drink nothing but water, after my morning coffee, then sometimes when I wake up annoying early because I can’t naturally sleep past 6am, I’m somehow hungover. Headache, slightly nauseous and general body aches.
Happy-Tower-3920@reddit
What?
Chevymetal1974@reddit
Never craved coffee before. Now I look forward to that nectar of the gods every morning.
InstantKarmaGonGetU@reddit
Can you turn this post down I can’t hear jeopardy over this racket!
wolfdickspeedstache@reddit
I had a colonoscopy this morning
Spies_and_Lovers@reddit
I have purse, home, and car Ibuprofen and Tylenol.
IYFS88@reddit
Someone handed me their phone to look at something and I automatically did that older person thing of holding it further away from my face to read it. Guess I finally need reading glasses!
TheSean_aka__Rh1no@reddit
I saw a dark metallic grey front loading washing machine the other day, tinted vision panel, and thought, 'Damn, that's a sexy machine'
Imaginary-Ad-2639@reddit
I greased my garage door opener hinges this past weekend
Croaker715@reddit
The days I wake up and nothing at all hurts, I legitimately worry for a second that I died overnight.
throwsplasticattrees@reddit
I have a nice bicycle, like the kind people come up to gawk at and ask questions about.
CmdrSpanton@reddit
I just got a motorcycle…
tuckyruck@reddit
I had to help dig a ditch and now my elbow has been hurting for a week.
And I learned the word "bursitis".
Historical-Client-78@reddit
Hold on, let me get my glasses.
yokiibrewster@reddit
The fact that we are OLDER than EVERY tv mom and dad that we grew up on.
Potential-Lemon-9052@reddit
Plants.
Important-Mind-586@reddit
A general feeling of being unwell is now my baseline
Aggressive-Sale-5414@reddit
I pulled something jumping as high as I could trying to touch the net (not the rim, the mf net) at my local 24 hour fitness bball court lmao
Binty77@reddit
The default text size on my phone is the size I used to laugh at my parents for using.
Dombat927@reddit
I hurt my back in bed last night. While I was sleeping
drKRB@reddit
Laying in bed can hurt you.
Heads_Will_Roll585@reddit
I really really love a good porch. I like to walk or drive around my neighborhood and other local neighborhoods and just look at all the big, beautiful porches. I've never lived in a house with a front porch so I have porch envy and admire beautiful porches. Whenever I'm out driving with my boyfriend and I see a nice porch I say "babe, look at that porch" and he agrees and we admire the porch.
Sevnteit@reddit
Watching everything with captions
blakemorris02@reddit
My lower back hurts so much when I sneeze that I’ve had to turn my sneeze into more of a scream to reduce the intensity
CopEatingDonut@reddit
I just created my own cloud out of an old PC with a 10tb HDD
ReyvynDM@reddit
My smoke detector chirped because it needed a new battery and I started looking for my pager...
CrazyDizzle@reddit
I rented a movie from Blockbuster Video in high school.
AintNobody-@reddit
I kinda like my HOA.
Chickenpoopohmy@reddit
gonutsdonuts1@reddit
Ear hair has become a serious issue
msheehan418@reddit
A perfect Saturday night is me in bed by 9:30
Chickenpoopohmy@reddit
8:30* ftfy ;)
msheehan418@reddit
I work til 8 but if I didn’t…
Evening-Statement-57@reddit
I am really enjoying my low sodium, high fiber diet… I mean I am enjoying the concept of it.
ShakespearianShadows@reddit
Chickenpoopohmy@reddit
I can hear this image
jcshear@reddit
I’m tired all day, every day
TestifyMediopoly@reddit
I participated in hands across America
JaseDroid@reddit
It's in our flairs
Chickenpoopohmy@reddit
Impressive_Turn8502@reddit
I was doing dumbbell bench press and pulled my hamstring.
jennyflowers1130@reddit
My eye doctor suggested I should get progressive lenses. I told him I'm not ready for that yet.
a_solid_6@reddit (OP)
Lol I put them off for a year
1101base2@reddit
My knees (especially the right one) sounds like an angry glow stick
banterjosh@reddit
I just walked into Spencer's at the mall and immediately walked out.
Ready-Interview-9809@reddit
Too loud!
NaylMe420@reddit
I have a full-time skilled job and I live with my sister.
SlapHappyDude@reddit
6 pm sounds like a perfectly reasonable time to have date night dinner. 11 PM sounds quite late even on a weekend.
Prestigious_Cow_7399@reddit
I swear I injure myself just by stretching now and 9pm is late
_qor_@reddit
Han shot first.
CanOfPenisJuice@reddit
I sit down to piss as a treat wee
Chickenpoopohmy@reddit
Of course your user name isn’t helping lololol!
SeanOTG@reddit
All I care about is nugs, chillin' and grindage
ThaVolt@reddit
Why the fuck am I so interested by the flowers that grow on my property?!
Arghmeegan@reddit
I have to use reading glasses in addition to my contact lenses. I turn UP the lights regularly. Humming birds are awesome, owls too. I have an extensive knowledge of whisk(e)y, love grilled and smoked meats, make sourdough (decent), can drive a manual, had a cassette tape then Cd and DVD collection (ok, I still have them).
BangGonePostal@reddit
⬆️⬆️⬇️⬇️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️ B A Start
MrFluff120427@reddit
Over the weekend I decided I no longer needed to keep my road atlas.
sator-2D-rotas@reddit
I’m told to have a relaxing, caffeine free tea before bed to help me sleep. It works, now I need to get up to pee once or twice in the middle of the night.
Nacho_Sideboob@reddit
Just decided I was done with "smart watches" bought a cheap analog watch. Even went with the old band that my dad used. *
Electrical_Rock_331@reddit
I’ve bought cds to listen to music. And cassette tapes. Lmao
etanner37@reddit
I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight
SXTY82@reddit
I can name all the bird species that visit my feeders.
Jareel99@reddit
If I only have to get up once during the night to pee, I count that as a win.
ahbaldyga@reddit
I have to hold my phone about 15 inches from my face to be able to read this
Chickenpoopohmy@reddit
If you call me past 5 pm to do anything, not happening.
Dickrubin14094@reddit
I need to limit my fluid intake before I go to bed, otherwise I’m waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Then I’ll have trouble falling back to sleep and be dragging the next day
skemp311@reddit
Got my first colonoscopy soon
Schulz70j@reddit
I get injured sometimes by sleeping
Classic_Engine7285@reddit
I have fucking gout.
Original_Boat6539@reddit
The bottle of ibuprofen has moved from the bathroom to the kitchen…
DrownMeInCleavage@reddit
I went to the very first Lollapalooza, and the ticket was just over $25
BigPoppaStrahd@reddit
I went to a metal concert 3 nights ago and my back hurts two days later
smokeandmirrorsff@reddit
Hmm, I’m 34 and agree with many comments here
Ok-Milk-6026@reddit
That gout medication sure is a lifesaver for when I have a beer every other month…
Belgeddes2022@reddit
The new LED street lamps are way too bright at night.
Gsquat@reddit
I got these eyebrow hairs that have decided they don't want to stop at the normal length, nor do they want to grow straight.
PuzzledKumquat@reddit
People need to stay the HELL OFF MY LAWN.
jdl5681@reddit
I used to love going on the tallest roller coasters with the most 360 degree twists. Now a carousel gives me vertigo and makes me want to vomit
Odd-Scarcity5288@reddit
I can’t detail my SUV without my shoulders and knees being sore
CZ1988_@reddit
I travel with a butt pillow on airplanes
CaptianBrasiliano@reddit
Rediscovering that Toys R' Us feeling at the hardware store...
But I don't have _This one!
Financial_Radish@reddit
I clothes shop at Sam’s club
KinkMountainMoney@reddit
My mower died the final death a few weeks back. My neighbor started talking shit. I’m paying for professional lawn care while I decide which tractor to buy to replace my old one. I enjoy watching my neighbor angrily trying to keep up with my lawn care provider.
Yifkong@reddit
My wife and I set up a bird bath in the backyard yesterday, and I set up one of our Arlo cameras to point at it….and this morning when the first customer showed up we simultaneously texted one another to make sure they got the “animal detected” notification. Peak middle age if you ask me.
Interesting_Ask4406@reddit
My knees hurt.
Vargen_HK@reddit
Colonoscopy #2 is coming up in January.
FirehawkLS1@reddit
I joined AARP even though I am not quite AARP age yet. And I feel anxious enough to write a will.
zilla0783@reddit
The other day I said “Nothing makes you
feel older than pictures of someone else’s kids”. Immediately following this I received a call from the AARP about becoming a member.
Forward_Progress_83@reddit
I recently purchased a knee pillow. Yep. It’s a pillow I sleep with between my thighs to keep my knee from pressing against t’other.
Serialkillingyou@reddit
I have arthritis in my neck and my knees constantly ache and I have bursitis in both hips and an autoimmune disease. 😆
LazerShark1313@reddit
My Doctor wants to see my shit
Classic_Barnacle_844@reddit
Bought my first pair of reading glasses two weeks ago.
careater@reddit
I buy aleve in bulk at Costco
Roallin1@reddit
Being in bed, 10 AM on a Friday.
Frosty_Cloud_2888@reddit
Last night was the best, I went to bed early it was amazing
IIFireMissionII@reddit
I sneezed last week and my neck still hurts.
Top_Yellow8393@reddit
I threw my back out reaching across the dining table.
KanedaSyndrome@reddit
These threads in this sub are almost always about people feeling old.
I'm 44, not middle aged and I don't feel old.
If this continues to be an "we are old" sub then I have to leave
Sufficient_Stop8381@reddit
Farts get louder and taking blood pressure pills
UnicornSheets@reddit
F you get off my lawn
dfgyrdfhhrdhfr@reddit
Self describe as "Mid Century"
-Ghost83-@reddit
I increased the font size of my phone yesterday.
bigwomby@reddit
I refer to taking a smartphone video as “videotaping”.
peanutt222@reddit
They play my teenage music at the hardware store at 8am on Saturday.
FriedBreakfast@reddit
10:00 pm is when I want to be getting ready for bed, NOT when I want to start going out.
Lcky22@reddit
I keep accidentally having the same conversations with my hairstylist over and over
namable@reddit
I trapped a nerve in my back. I was seated at the time, didn't even move.
Smokeythemagickamodo@reddit
How’s the weather today?
ifwitcheswerehorses@reddit
I had over an hour of deep sleep last night. A record!
cbkris3@reddit
On my way to pickleball right now in fact.
moneymark21@reddit
up up down down left right aba
Iddqd
minilovemuffin@reddit
Today was a good day I only need 1 knee brace on to walk.
KW5625@reddit
I bought jeans that actually fit properly.
dingiss@reddit
Maybe you could add a second muffler on there? I’m on the highway a lot and I don’t need any extra noise congesting my quiet and music-free vehicle cabin. Thanks
Lance8282@reddit
Seen my friends retire from the military.
Andrew____74@reddit
I can't stand old people or teenagers.
Past-Adhesiveness150@reddit
I go to bet before the sun sets sometime & I dont even care.
spidermans_mom@reddit
It it requires a bra or pants, you’ll have to bribe me to do it.
GladosPrime@reddit
I have a missing tooth
ColoRADoWench@reddit
I’m scheduled to get my new implant tomorrow, after having an exposed screw in my jaw for 3 months.
I also have a bridge. 👵🏻
driftwood-and-waves@reddit
I went through a period of depression and self care was not important. Add on I had two tooth aches going on at once I've had 2 or 3 teeth out recently and have nothing past my lower right incisor except a half tooth because the crown came off when I tried my child's toffee thing.
I have two teeth out on the top left side.
I still need to have a tooth looked at for idk and have no idea what to do about my lack of teeth. 🤷🏻♀️
MaeONays@reddit
Cracked a molar clenching my jaw in my sleep. Waiting to see a specialist to have it pulled and get an implant. Cheers to us ruthless and the toothless ones!
Past-Adhesiveness150@reddit
Got my 1st prostate exam last week
Miss-Indie-Cisive@reddit
My friends and I - on Facebook no less - all just got really excited about a new lazy Susan he bought to organise stuff inside his fridge.
Rev_Joel@reddit
I get back spasms every night after I lay down in bed, and they don't fully stop until I've been out of bed for an hour or so.
rutgerswhat@reddit
I don’t jump down from any height greater than 2 feet anymore! Why risk it?
Secure_Astronaut718@reddit
My lower back hurts pretty much 24-7
DrunkPhoenix26@reddit
I started a spreadsheet two days ago to track my protein and fiber intake 🫤
therealmudslinger@reddit
I have learned how to ask for aspirin in five languages.
joshyuaaa@reddit
My favorite thing to age myself with is that I saw rage against the machine as an opening band twice.
VA1N@reddit
My back hurts.
TheRealExactO@reddit
My jacuzzi hurts me in a strange muscle every single fucking time
vulture_165@reddit
I'm lying down on my new couch with an ice pack.
Lemonblueberry579@reddit
I sometimes sneeze hard and midway wonder if my bladder is gonna ‘stick the landing’.
AlpineVibe@reddit
I just started playing pickleball… 🏓
bitwarrior80@reddit
Over the weekend, I lugged a heavy 27" CRT Television from an estate sale to back home into my basement all by myself. I thought I would be feeling that the next day, but I felt fine. Game on!
hopeful_tatertot@reddit
I drink plenty of water before and after drinking 2 beers
Kevroeques@reddit
I’m in this sub
That_TeacherLady@reddit
It’s 6 pm and I’m seriously contemplating if I should go ahead and take my shower now and then stay in my room for the night or take my shower now and then come back downstairs to try not to fall asleep on the couch…decisions decisions.
sherzisquirrel@reddit
I don't like to leave my house after dark, hours before dark... I don't like to leave my house
pitathegreat@reddit
Frozen shoulder. For some reason it hurts to raise my right arm over 90 degrees
Ill-Bake2638@reddit
I need fiber in my diet more than ever 🤣
Lord have mercy if I don’t 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Sharpshooter188@reddit
Despite a lot of games being packed to the brim with content, I still prefer the SNES and PS1 era games.
lilmisse85@reddit
Everything hurts and I think I’m going to perimenopause
Realistic_Emu_721@reddit
My shoulder hurts
Country_Gravy420@reddit
My back hurts
HanDavo@reddit
Last night in a dream I must have lifted something really heavy cause I've woken up again with my back thrown out. This getting old crap is complete bullshit and makes no sense
toadjones79@reddit
I posted on Reddit that my wife got me a Sous Vide stick, and I installed can lights for her, for Valentine's Day. The first response was:
tc_cad@reddit
I can’t sleep consistently through the night anymore. I can’t sleep on my sides due to heartburn. Mystery pain in my knee.
imhotech@reddit
My right knee has become my sworn enemy.
crimson-gh0st@reddit
Can't recognize half the "famous" people on tv.....then again I never could recognize them all anyway.
Jasmirris@reddit
I recognize the people that just died and then call my mom. :(
Tpk08210@reddit
Goonies never say die
nw97850@reddit
I have readers in every room of the house, both desk drawers, and my car.
meow13x13@reddit
Why do I have to have an app for everything damn thing???
Jasmirris@reddit
Omg, I hate it! Can I just use my phone number or get an automatic discount? I can barely remember things, quit with the apps.
nevernotworryingx@reddit
Birds are my social life now.
ShakyTheBear@reddit
No
thepatientwaiting@reddit
I take joy in home maintenance (cleaning my dishwasher, deep cleaning the floors, pest control). I rent but it all makes me feel very adult.
NerdyKate@reddit
I feel this . I cleaned my dishwasher the other day and admired it multiple times throughout the day.
Jasmirris@reddit
I love the smell. Same with the disposal. I feel so strange doing it but it feels better.
_incredigirl_@reddit
I bought myself a vacuum with the birthday money my mum sent me this year. And then i excitedly vacuumed every inch of floor and furniture i own.
thepatientwaiting@reddit
Yesss! I have cats and every time I vacuum the couch it looks brand new!
thedarkpreacher65@reddit
I sneezed, popped the head of a rib out of socket in my upper back, had to have 6 months of physical therapy to get it fixed
Sharpshooter188@reddit
Started buying a LOT of 00 era movies.
RonWill79@reddit
I get excited when plans get canceled.
eletriodgenesis@reddit
im sitting on the porch of my cabin drinking a beer w my dog while my nephew power washes the deck
CannedDuck1906@reddit
In February, I was diagnosed with arthritis in my lower spine. I'm on month 4 of physical therapy. The entirety of April was spent in a flare-up.
42, and I have a shower chair and a cane.
obscuredsilence@reddit
42, I have a cane and rolly walker 🥴 I was so impressed I put it together myself!
ddf007@reddit
I’m getting sun burn on my head all of a sudden
xaltairforever@reddit
Used win 95 when I started high school.
Oceanbreeze871@reddit
A/S/L
drunkatdesk@reddit
I’m thinking about voting in the classic fm top 100 all time classical tunes
_buffy_summers@reddit
I've been saying 'when I was your age' a lot lately.
playfulwarning@reddit
I can’t see shit in front of my face but can see over yonder like a champ😂
Wish_36@reddit
Reading glasses
obscuredsilence@reddit
Poppin Pepcid completes like they’re mentos.
pixelprolapse@reddit
Remember that South Park episode where Stan turns 10 and everything turns to literal shit?
Basically, that.
Ftw_55@reddit
I hate new things. My work just replaced my laptop, now I have to set everything up again, learn Windows 11, and what the hell is this Microsoft cloud sync thing?
Same with phones, I'll keep using this one as long as possible to avoid the new phone learning and setup curve.
e30s52@reddit
I use an old pog case to transport my multivitamins.
LateRecognitionLimit@reddit
The body started going out at 24, though I've never played a single sport in my life.
I've been knitting.
Zilch1979@reddit
Everything on life has become a cost/benefit analysis.
Orangeugladitsbanana@reddit
Just don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy.
tronassembled@reddit
Don't worry, that's not age, that's just the late-stage-capitalism hellscape
lukehardy@reddit
I can sleep normally and wake up and my joints hurt
Groundbreaking-Fee28@reddit
3am is my wake up time instead of my off work time.
ImOnlyHereForTheCoC@reddit
No_Page_500@reddit
I’m having to put too much thought into my posture.
adriatic_sea75@reddit
It's too loud.
What is?
All of it.
cheesusfeist@reddit
I have bathroom advil, car advil and nightstand advil.
Much_Ad470@reddit
I’ve started attempting to keep plants that don’t die. Water is my main beverage. I’m anxious at the end of the day to go home and not talk to humans. I dress to feel comfortable and idgaf about impressing anyone or getting any attention.
adimadoz@reddit
Waking up before the rest of the family, on purpose, just to drink a cup of coffee before other people get up.
CuckooBananaBread@reddit
I have a good job with benefits and am a homeowner.
DgingaNinga@reddit
I like rocks, but I often need to medicate after trying to get to or pick up a rock.
DonkyShow@reddit
Sharp pain in my knees going up the stairs. The best Friday nights involve being in early, watching a movie or series and then getting to bed before midnight (I work late 2nd shift so that’s early for me). Also I hate late 2nd shift. If I ever get more than 3 days off in a row I naturally shift to waking up between 6-7 and getting to bed around 9-10.
mwalker324@reddit
looks down at estrogen patch sigh
idkidc9876@reddit
I refuse to attend any event if ample seating is not provided.
PawsbeforePeople1313@reddit
I slipped and fell in the mud two days ago, my brain didn't even try to engage my arms to TRY and break the fall. I landed on my shoulder. I forgot I did it until I woke up the next day sore. This wouldn't have happened in my 20s. 😭
OhFuuuuuuuuuuuudge@reddit
It’s my birthday and I’m working it.
Past_Cauliflower_440@reddit
The weighted vest.
PeppermintEvilButler@reddit
My knees hurt when bending down to get things off the button shelves
eatyourbites@reddit
My new griddle has been the highlight of this year
No_Pair6726@reddit
By eyeing down suspenders as a comfortable looking addition to my wardrobe
wilsonrobots@reddit
I enjoy staying in on Saturday nights watching Svengoolie.
inomrthenudo@reddit
When going to the club to pick up a hot chick has a different meaning when you are middle aged going to Sam’s club or Costco buying a rotisserie chicken.
mutepaladin07@reddit
I make noises when I get up from the couch.
RyogAkari@reddit
Ow
GrumpyKaeKae@reddit
I need glasses to drive now. I never needed glasses in my life.
cardie82@reddit
Not at that point but I had better than 20-20 vision my entire life. Then a few years ago the eye doctor said I had a very slight prescription and I could just go get reading glasses. Now I’ve got line less bifocals so I don’t have to take my glasses of because I struggle with fine print.
GrumpyKaeKae@reddit
Oh. I'm so sorry. I'm near sighted so I cant see far away. I just noticed I cant read the TV anymore either ans also need glasses for watching TV.
joey_oaks@reddit
I’m 41 and I need a knee replacement.
paladin_7785@reddit
My back hurts. All I did was stand up.
BookHooknNeedle@reddit
I bought cloth pots so my potatoes & sunchokes don't take up precious raised-bed space. The birds dug up all my summer squash seeds but left the beans alone for once!
TheDanimal27@reddit
Going for a 30 minute walk around my neighborhood is good enough to say I exercised today.
ScrumptiousPrincess@reddit
I get excited when repair people come to my house.
Aware_Interest4461@reddit
I’m literally reading this with contacts on AND Readers. (Reading glasses.) I have 5 pairs of readers that I routinely lose and I walk around the house going, “Where are my readers?!?”
I’m 43. I feel 60.
TheGirlwThePinkHair@reddit
I used the heating pad yesterday and it was so good I felt high off of it!
RealSinnSage@reddit
i was up all night with extremely painful and severe heartburn and i have no idea why.
bsbsbsbsaway@reddit
I got a cramp in my arm from carrying two packages of oreos the other day.
ILootEverything@reddit
I pooped into a box, wrapped it up, and then handed it to a clerk at a UPS Store.
nekomame@reddit
Tennis elbow.
Osian_NB@reddit
Sent an unsolicited deck pic, it looks amazing since I re-stained the wood.
bjkidder@reddit
That 10 day weather forecast shaping up real nice 😎
elmachow@reddit
I spent an hour researching which new mop to buy.
Asleep_Onion@reddit
The panic of realizing I have no real retirement plan whatsoever is starting to set in. The baseball card collection didn't really work out as I hoped.
spderweb@reddit
The cholesterol pills I take give me joint pain, on top of the existing back and shoulder pain I experience as a result of the way I sleep, which I can't change because I don't have a stomach valve to stop acid from climbing up due to my Barrettes Esophagus.
Also I suck at mp FPS' now.
JungleBoyJeremy@reddit
A bakery near my house sells cheap mixed boxes of their unsold product at the end of the day. I saw one that had a good assortment of stuff in it, including a bran muffin that would make a good snack to bring to work.
I’m at work taking a break, I go to eat my brain muffin and to my horror it was actually a chocolate chip muffin. It was so sweet I had to chug water to choke it down. And I was sitting there thinking how I wish it wasn’t chocolate chip but a bran muffin instead and that’s when I realized I am old
Scary-Ad9646@reddit
Classic rock stations have the best music.
Susie4ever@reddit
I had to apply Voltaren on my lower back when I got home today.
Justin_Sideme@reddit
Colonoscopy
rdldr1@reddit
My wardrobe is by Costco.
Tricky_Radish@reddit
My drink of choice is water.
Slartibartfast39@reddit
I don't have a left knee and a right knee; I have a good knee and a weak knee.
Bastardforsale@reddit
Every time I stand up, my joints go
TotallyRadDude1981@reddit
I wear reading glasses. I also wake up in the middle of the night every night to pee.
modsguzzlehivekum@reddit
I get excited to go to bed at 8:30 and watch tv for an hour or so before I go to sleep
SouthernEffect87yO@reddit
My feet hurt
RegTurtle@reddit
I get ragey when there isn't enough light to see things, especially with reading.
OnRedditAtWorkRN@reddit
Tell me x without telling me x is a stupid fucking contrived concept
clabuen@reddit
I got to the refrigerator and forgot why I went
sk1p26@reddit
I buy Kirkland clothes
FidgitForgotHisL-P@reddit
Have you guys seen the new Dysons?
Oh man, I’m pretty hyped.
pardonmyass@reddit
Some of the girls I went to school with have grandkids 🫠
Emjay1310@reddit
I try to keep ibuprofen on me at all times. I need to find something else because I know it's not good for the liver. 😬
Doorknob6941@reddit
Werther's toffee, anyone?
Windows_96_Help_Desk@reddit
The sun is coming up way too early these days.
A2theK36@reddit
“Hey!……..I just mopped!”
Sensitive_Row_7110@reddit
I just found a bag of old cassettes and my sony walkman. I am walking around the house proud listening to old NYHC tapes like I am the MAN.
I_make_switch_a_roos@reddit
i peed my bed a little last night after drinking milk before sleep
CottaBird@reddit
My at-hime blood pressure monitor arrived today.
Do_it_My_Way-79@reddit
I was excited to talk about my new lawn sweeper with my uncle over Memorial Day weekend.
Emergency-Explorer-6@reddit
Drove past a house the other day that started a fence project a month ago and then stopped. Well they started again and I looked so my buddy and said they’re finally working on that fence again and immediately said jfc I really am 50 🤣🤣
sputnikrootbeer@reddit
I still prefer to read physical books not on phone/tablet
Pard22@reddit
Where did I put that thing? You know that thing
Finalgirlcandy@reddit
I have a little bunny that hangs out in my front garden and we spend mornings together while I read and drink coffee. I notice all animals and watch the birds land in my pond in the afternoon in the quiet. I was so excited because we got a heron one day!
DadaShart@reddit
I'm going to see NIN for the first time soon and told myself "it's now or never", because chances are either Trent or I will have arthritis bad enough to make a concert painful. 🤣
funatical@reddit
I have to be home before sunset or I don’t feel rested the next day.
ParadoxInsideK@reddit
I get very excited about planting things in my yard.
panini-attack@reddit
I have upstairs ibuprofen and downstairs ibuprofen. I wish I could remember to keep some ibuprofen in the car too.
Zer_0@reddit
I just had a perfectly shaped organizer in a closet for my sister’s bathroom drawer and it saved her a whole trip to the store!
RachelPalmer79@reddit
Everything hurts and if I’m not in bed by 9pm I will die.
bluejane@reddit
I'm not sure how old I am. I keep having to Google it or do math. I was pleased to learn I'm a year younger then I thought.
DescriptionSame4512@reddit
Some days it’s a strain to either climb into my Jeep or pull myself out of my Trans Am😩
wrestlegirl@reddit
I take being called a cougar as a compliment.
Does that count?
Schickie@reddit
Everyday something hurts in a new way.
AmethystBlitz3319@reddit
My hair is graying at an alarming rate and I’m starting to have perimenopausal symptoms. My right knee hurts when I walk up stairs and my back kills me
copenhagen_bandit@reddit
Everything pisses me off 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Itiswhatitis2009@reddit
I stood up to leave jury duty and my back and legs wouldn’t unkink.
runningvicuna@reddit
I didn’t change a thing to my diet that I’ve had all my life and I’m fat now.
desertdweller2011@reddit
i love doing yard work, especially mowing the lawn.
a_solid_6@reddit (OP)
On a positive note, I have amazing auto insurance coverage and it doesn't cost me a fortune.
Sean_Kong@reddit
Yes! But I have a teenager, so that’s not gonna last me too much longer…
DesignIntelligent456@reddit
Yeah!!!!! Best birthdays ever were 25 and 30 when the insurance cost dropped. Woo!
samadi101@reddit
I vote on local matters, I know who my local politician is and I've ever written to him. Twice
Moquai82@reddit
I can not stand straight when i get up from a chair, i have to straighten me forcefully (yet painless) into a straight but slightly stiff position until my joints did a little bit relubrication or whatever.....
Ah, but at least i get still horny at the most inappropiate moments...
Sean_Kong@reddit
Did we just become best friends?
bangobot46@reddit
I have strong feelings about groundhogs.
Issis_P@reddit
I have my fav bucket for cleaning, one for yard work and another for backup under the sink just in case.
ALadysImagination@reddit
Some of my current classmates in grad school were born the year I graduated high school
theAFguy200@reddit
Currently looking at Porsche 911’s on FB marketplace.
SatBurner@reddit
I tripped over a kid running from his parents and took 2 weeks, so far to fully recover.
JasonShoes@reddit
It hurts to sleep
gojo96@reddit
My elbow hurts from throwing baseballs for a couple of hours.
hashlettuce@reddit
Cortisone!!!!
anthrax_ripple@reddit
My knee gets "stuck" several times a day and I have to pop it to release it back into place.
xxlittlemissj@reddit
I can't wait to get home and get into comfy clothes and take my bra off.
digitalHalcyon@reddit
"Don't call anyone! I can fix that!"
fancyfarmer1108@reddit
I like wwII documentaries
TheJokersWild53@reddit
I don’t go out to bars after 10 pm and I don’t go to the park and feed birds. So I’m in the middle of life
Business-Title8503@reddit
Are you from Western PA?!
Business-Title8503@reddit
But also just by asking that question, you know I’m middle aged lol
boomerinspirit@reddit
My knee has hurt for the past month. I twisted it while standing in my yard.
Hot-Significance-462@reddit
I've got one decorative and one load-bearing knee and I have no idea how it happened.
tinyshark84@reddit
I only recently (in the past few years) gave up double spacing after periods.
Midlife_Garden@reddit
I opened a new sponge for the kitchen sink and life just felt a little bit better.
MycoMythos@reddit
When I woke up this morning, my back hurt worse than it did when I went to sleep last night
melismyhero@reddit
The few occasions I get out to a bar, I think all of the kids that are there don't look older than 17.
Escape_Force@reddit
I remember when Snap, Crackle, and Pop were just elves trying to sell cereal.
LemonPuckerFace@reddit
I bought 3 pairs of sketchers last weekend.
I now own 8 pairs of sketchers.
They're really the minivan of shoes. Comfy, functional, and absolutely scream, "I've given up".
MentalYoghurt2756@reddit
I bought these plants on clearance, I think I can save them. Let me put them with the rest of my hoard
high_everyone@reddit
My VCR clock was always programmed to the correct time.
AHollyS@reddit
Power outages made me nuts because of this.
high_everyone@reddit
All that ever made me do was check the TV listings to make sure I wasn't recording a repeat episode of MST3K.
AHollyS@reddit
Yes
monkeysknowledge@reddit
I recently searched for all my 401k’s from previous jobs.
imhereforthevotes@reddit
I fart like my dad.
Sufficient-Record695@reddit
I have my grass seed shipped from Oregon.
MarzipanVivid4610@reddit
I got Transitions lenses in my glasses and I wear a sun hat every time I leave the house
ptatersptate@reddit
I can’t seem to get up or sit down without making some sort of sound.
SchmitzBitz@reddit
Last night I slept too hard and now my back is messed up.
uncle-sensei@reddit
How I be reading now
Paquistino@reddit
I'm starting to not be able to read the little numbers on button batteries. I have to zoom in with my phone.
GreatKingRat666@reddit
I’m getting my first tattoo tomorrow
Electronic-Bite-6044@reddit
I call my local family to tell them its gonna rain or be too hot/cold. Also, my knees hurt before it rains. Boooo
excitaetfure@reddit
Had an enthusiastic discussion about how many different kinds of root vegetables there are the other night at dinner
Tony_Tanna78@reddit
I listened to the top 40 radio station and think that pretty much everything is mindless noise, especially the hip hop songs. I miss hearing true MCs that could spit rhymes and sound coherent.
Lonely_North_8436@reddit
If I don’t stretch daily, I don’t feel good.
Rooster_Fish-II@reddit
I threw my back out moving a long garden hose.
kaest@reddit
Sneezed in the shower and threw my back out.
telos2020@reddit
They can hear me sneeze down the street.
BillBrasky1179@reddit
Putting together my smoker, with a led headlight…on a Friday night. I was more excited than a kid on Christmas Day.
AttilaTheFun818@reddit
Slipped in the shower basically right when I turned 40. Bruised the shit out of my foot.
9PM is now “late” - that’s when I used to start my evenings!
Bent over to look at a plant. Back was fucked the rest of the day.
Seldarin@reddit
I work on the road. I have ibuprofen in the truck because sometimes I can't make it to the ibuprofen in the hotel if the room isn't on the first floor.
When I'm at home it's upstairs ibuprofen and downstairs ibuprofen.
riana67@reddit
I have work ibuprofen, purse ibuprofen, bedroom ibuprofen and kitchen ibuprofen. I live in an apartment.
Ilickedthecinnabar@reddit
I picked strawberries the other day, and my back hurts
11229988B@reddit
I don't eat rice crispys but my body is full of snap, crackle, and pop
greenline19@reddit
Hope I can stay up for the whole Phillies game tonight
The_Goondocks@reddit
We used a rotary phone for a portion of my childhood
Richard_Gosinia@reddit
leave a message after the beep
napalmthechild@reddit
The fatter my cheeks get the less I shave my face
JauntyChapeau@reddit
I just subscribed to r/lawncare.
spsanderson@reddit
They move stuff around in the grocery store, goddamnit
badmamerjammer@reddit
I juat got my first pair of bifocals/progressives.
spamburger326@reddit
Everything snaps, crackles, and pops on my body!
HalfwayAwkwardNerd@reddit
I needed +1.75 to read this.
riana67@reddit
I have a head cold. I just sneezed hard and now my back hurts.
truNinjaChop@reddit
Just got my first bifocal prescription
Savings_Bird_4736@reddit
My colonoscopy is in a few weeks.
Ordinary_Aioli_7602@reddit
Planning > Adventure
FelixTheJeepJr@reddit
I put together a piece of ikea furniture yesterday and now everything hurts.
ArchiesAddict@reddit
Running to the store in old pajamas, f'd up hair, and crazy eyes, cuz we can't have spaghetti without the noodles I forgot.
RealDahl@reddit
I somehow breathed wrong (like trying to breath out and in at the same time) and instantly got a massive knot in middle of my back between my shoulders blades that took 3 days to recover from.
Sea_One_6500@reddit
My plants have really been taking off lately. I've put them on the porch, aka their summer vacation destination.
Standard_Elephant415@reddit
I am really excited about my baby spider plants 🪴.
ohfrackthis@reddit
I have come to the conclusion that alcohol can't be in my life anymore. And my conversations are 6 times out of 10 about the amount of pills I take. Oh, and I had to shop for a better multi times a day pill minder. Joy!
Ok_Spring7034@reddit
Pickleball
booweezy@reddit
I hurt myself sleeping.
Full_Occasion_1379@reddit
I’ve had abdominal pain for the last five days. I don’t know if how it started, medication doesn’t seem to have any effect. It’s really uncomfortable.
Whatchab@reddit
You want me to go to something that doesn't even get kicked off until 8-9pm. YEAH RIGHT, BYE.
Repulsive_Tie_7941@reddit
I was excited my daily acid reflux medicine was on sale. Only 1 part of my 4 nightly pills.
TheMadMetalhead@reddit
My yoga routine has really helped my joints
Human-Ad1643@reddit
Shoulder surgery
limelight022@reddit
RF Adapter.
Far-Watercress6658@reddit
My colonoscopy was clear.
high_everyone@reddit
I can no longer digest dairy or beef, involuntarily.
(tbh, no one told me raw beef and butter would smell so bad after I quit eating both of them, but it's vile now)
DesignIntelligent456@reddit
Did you get bit by an Alpha-gal tick? That's my worst fear. I'm such an omnivore. I mean, there are a million delicious foods without those animal proteins, but I enjoy the full range of food. If I had to cut out 1/2 my recipes I'd be so sad!
high_everyone@reddit
I doubt it. My family doesn't really like telling us kids what waits for us as we age, at least I didn't sugar coat it with my nephews.
My mom can't handle alcohol, my sibling can't eat hard dairy. My grandmother can't eat milk or ice cream at all.
I never really understood what a milk allergy would mean over time other than being full of snot in the spring... It meant a lot.
My stomach just stopped digesting dairy proteins and beef proteins around my early 40's and I've been stuck like this since then. There's a list of other troublesome foods that made things worse, but those are long gone from my diet as well.
It sucks, but I work through it. It does make celebratory meals suck ass.
"Let's go out to birthday dinner and cake!!!"
"Hell no."
DesignIntelligent456@reddit
Dang it!!! Well, if you're at all interested in cooking, you can make AMAZING food from all sorts of ingredients. I've been able to cook delicious feasts for a group of various humans including: vegetarian, lactose intolerant, diabetic, rheumatoid arthritis, high cholesterol, I know I'm missing at least 1. Anyway, if you embrace cooking, there's so much good food out there.
high_everyone@reddit
I have a lot of good options and love even more, but the one thing I'm lacking is in interesting flavors. Onion, garlic, paprika and literally anything spicy are just gone from my diet.
I can do amazing miso/soy/honey marinated foods, but when you're wanting something more, I have little to go with.
DesignIntelligent456@reddit
Well, I'm thinking globally. There's an entire planet of flavors, not just the typical ones we see in a grocery store. Perhaps you have a Brazilian or Chinese or somewhere store in your area that has awesome seasoning?
high_everyone@reddit
Yep. Lots of chiles in some of the regional dishes from china, I've gotten a few from there, but not many I've liked.
Tumeric is a well tolerated alternative for me, but it's very overpowering in everything I've tried it paired with.
I live in a pretty metropolitan area, so I've tried a lot. Ethnic foods are easier for me to try than most chain restaurants, even though I clearly can't handle some options like Indian, Italian, Mexican or most Korean foods anymore...
qualityskootchtime@reddit
I take soluble fiber daily
junkmail0178@reddit
I was just diagnosed with gout and high blood pressure
topshelfvanilla@reddit
Why are my hobbies so goddamn expensive‽
drknifnifnif@reddit
Next oil change it’s time to flush all the fluids to make the engine last longer.
Boosully@reddit
I threw my back out playing shuffle board......at a bar. And not the type of shuffle board you play on a cruise ship.
dustydub99@reddit
My back hurts
floodums@reddit
Tweaked my back having sex
IdiotWithout_a_Cause@reddit
My wrist hurts and feels weak every morning when I wake up....and I have no idea why.
Dogrel@reddit
I love the music they’re playing at the grocery store lately.
poopypants206@reddit
My hips hurt when I sleep on my side
lik_a_stik@reddit
Being too regular can be a godsend as well as a handicap.
ifallallthetime@reddit
I have a hemorrhoid
mrdon83@reddit
Can't wait to spend Friday night in my backyard looking through my telescope!
ofTHEbattle@reddit
My bed time is before 11pm even not on a work night.
LumpyCaterpillar1983@reddit
I want to just sit. Alone.
shagbark_dryad@reddit
Spaghetti gives me acid reflux
jazzhandpanda@reddit
AoedeSong@reddit
So I’ve tried every pillow on Amazon and my neck/back still hurt
Dillenger69@reddit
I threw out my back pulling up my pants the other day
fromthedarqwaves@reddit
Each day I ask myself is this the day I just go bald? then I move my hair around and say one more day.
RoxyLA95@reddit
My back feels like it’s going to give out when I sneeze.
Alien36@reddit
Late spring is the best time to aerate your lawn
are_you_scared_yet@reddit
I have a favorite fiber supplement and I have opinions about mattresses.
Stoo-Pedassol@reddit
Omeprazole is a life saver
Adrasteia-One@reddit
My mind wants to stay up later to catch up on me-time (playing guitar, video games, etc), but I start yawning around 8 pm and get lured away by the bed.
theotterway@reddit
The garden center had free seed packets today!
junkmail0178@reddit
I was just diagnosed with gout and high blood pressure
DrDew00@reddit
I have clothes that are 25 years old.
MaeONays@reddit
Just finished up landscaping the front yard for the neighborhood garden tour.
darkdesertedhighway@reddit
A night where I don't get up to pee at least once is rare (and a good night).
3kidsnomoney---@reddit
I have bifocals.
jayhof52@reddit
I have on a Costco knee brace and ankle wrap right now.
redraider-102@reddit
I was going to, but now I can’t remember what I was gonna say
Luminaire_Ultima@reddit
Everything hurts.
MySocratesNote@reddit
I'm a straight man. On Saturday I was bored. My wife is out of town. I went antiquing.
DoubleUDee@reddit
When I coach middle school age kids, I tell them I still got it during scrimmage. Scrimmage led to shoulder surgery.
bravosierrapolitics@reddit
My plans involve working on the house, and I actually enjoy it😆
malibuklw@reddit
I need stronger bifocals and my favorite hobby is gardening and yard work
girldrinksgasoline@reddit
Life is like a hurricane here in Duckburg
APFernweh@reddit
I have a preferred antacid.
tascofra@reddit
The Mylanta Vanilla Chamomile is amazing
APFernweh@reddit
Vanilla caramel or honey chamomile?! lol, don’t play me with my antacids…
tascofra@reddit
Lol it's the vanilla caramel but honey chamomile is a very close second. I'm right there with you about the antacids. Gelusil tablets are chalky af but get the job done well too, they make me burp a lot though...those satisfying gross burps lol. They're hard to find lately though 😭
kgcatlin@reddit
I don’t travel without Icy Hot patches.
itisfoggy@reddit
I spend all day yesterday cleaning my deck and now I’m really sore
thesnark1sloth@reddit
I grunt when I get up from sitting.
RndmIntrntStranger@reddit
it hurts to sit
it hurts to stand
my joints hurt when the weather is cold/damp
kevocontent@reddit
GET THIS POST OFF MY LAWN!
scovizzle@reddit
Ouch.
WeathermanOnTheTown@reddit
I have a favorite spatula.
AlissonHarlan@reddit
my throat hurt because the other day i drove with my windows open.
Quixote511@reddit
I have to clean my cpap hoses today
NakedSnakeEyes@reddit
Ow my back! Ow my knees! These annoying kids with their new slang!
TN_UK@reddit
If I take all my pills at once, I'll probably choke to death, I'm gonna need more water..
IronWolfV@reddit
Sneezing hurts. And not in my head.
New_Collection5295@reddit
Ow, my back.
King_of_Lunch223@reddit
I no longer enjoy spicy food.
Szeth_Vallano@reddit
I still buy Vans but I buy the deluxe versions with orthotic insoles pre-installed.
tyranny12@reddit
I've got two years on you, and the crick lasted two weeks.
vsaint@reddit
I have multiple reminders a day on my calendar to stretch
LlamaLlamaSomePajama@reddit
I have purse motrin. Extra purse motrin, just in case. Night stand advil. Kitchen Advil.
I slept in the same position for too long and now my back is screaming. Time for that extra purse motrin!
symonym7@reddit
If I smell a glass of wine I'm hungover for 3 days.
ReinaShae@reddit
I have to roll over on all fours to get up off the floor.
RetroDadOnReddit@reddit
I've been browsing Amazon to pick out a new vacuum cleaner and I think I know the one I'm going to go for, and I'm pretty excited for it to arrive.
Key_Bumblebee9163@reddit
I have to pull price tags, menus, or beauty products away from me so I can read them. Damn that shit is printed small!
Icarus_Jones@reddit
I did not make until to 9 PM Friday night.
I was up at 4:30 AM on Saturday.
Neither of these were intentional actions.
Upset_Problem4344@reddit
Ohhh, my back!
PorgCT@reddit
I keep thinking how the music from 20 years ago is so much better than today’s garbage. Hell, I remember when MTV still aired music videos.
Ok_Degree3037@reddit
I’m not getting a watch I really wanted because the numbers are too small and I can only hold my arm so far away.
ADHDhamster@reddit
If I sit on the floor, I have to get back up in stages.
dance-9880@reddit
I got my reading glasses.
drimmie@reddit
I reached for the handrail before climbing the stairs and pulled muscles in my side and back
DetroitsGoingToWin@reddit
My sister invited me to a concert, and I was super excited to go because it started at 2PM, I didn’t even ask who was playing, because I wouldn’t have known anyway.
Due_Satisfaction_670@reddit
REE-CHAH
photogypsy@reddit
I cannot squat to do things anymore. It’s too painful after fifteen seconds. If I have to be that low, I’m going to be sitting on the ground and someone is going to need to help me up.
C1sko@reddit
Sciatic pain
JayRay_44@reddit
I literally hurt from sitting in one position for too long.
Oh. And I suddenly decided that applesauce is my favorite snack. (I might actually be geriatric…) 😭
odin_the_wiggler@reddit
Two words:
Flash cubes
up_and_downhill_420@reddit
I got these pants at Costco
Blue_Eyed_Lass@reddit
I look forward to the daily weather report
80cartoonyall@reddit
Readers are a must.
Asleep-Temporary3980@reddit
Bars are too loud and I can’t hear anyone
Traditional_Foot9641@reddit
I have the generations old morning cough. I cough and clear my throat in the morning like my great grandmother did, my mom, etc. Another relative who married a doctor says this happens because that area of our throat/airway loses its tension/suppleness so phlegm gets stuck there.
PurpleAriadne@reddit
I fart when I move and can’t feel it coming
throwawayhogsfan@reddit
Quit drinking not because I have a problem or it’s not fun, it’s just not fun enough to justify hangovers that last for 3 days.
MushroomWhisperer@reddit
I have 63 blooms on my cactus plants
superthrust123@reddit
I've been a member at my gym longer than most of the members have been alive.
SensitiveArtist@reddit
If a concert I want to go to has GA floor or balcony seats, I get the balcony seats.
Kaleidoscope_Moose84@reddit
I'd rather be left out and/or clueless than download the app for that.
PresentationNo8244@reddit
Thatched roof…
Mattyj273@reddit
I can't drink any liquids past 5PM or I'll be getting up to pee all night
lisaboshell@reddit
I rolled over and somehow broke my hip.
LaeliaCatt@reddit
Ow
paineandfranklin@reddit
Did we run out the Advil with Ibuprofen and Acetaminophen again?
Nightsong1005@reddit
Having to decide if what I dropped on the floor is truly worth the effort to pick it up. "I can still drop it like it's hot, but I have trouble getting up again."
scizzix@reddit
I hurt my shoulder in my sleep.
bullseye11b@reddit
Did that a couple months ago and it took weeks before it felt right again.
No_Feedback_6334@reddit
I’m not trying to compete. But I’m three months into physical therapy because I hurt my shoulder in my sleep. Take this as a sign that middle age is here
slot_machine@reddit
My back hurts
thisasynesthete@reddit
Someday, somebody's gonna make you wanna
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then, baby, are you gonna let them
Hold you down and make you cry?
Don't you know?
Don't you know, things can change?
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
tableleg7@reddit
realfolkblues@reddit
I wake up and stare at my backyard with coffee in hand. it’s quiet. peaceful. Then I take Advil.
Pm_me_some_dessert@reddit
We stocked up on ibuprofen at Costco this weekend.
LtPowers@reddit
I'm not middle-aged!
Additional-Local8721@reddit
All morning I have felt woozy, tired, and angry. Then I realized, I didn't have coffee this morning and I'm experiencing a caffeine withdrawal.
Willing_Actuary_4198@reddit
I'm in this sub
Klutzy-Delivery-5792@reddit
I literally just told a 30 year old guy I work with the exact thing you posted. Neck is killing me!
ShawnBall2337@reddit
Acid Reflux is a real thing that has to be accounted for.
Visual_Rub9517@reddit
When I see a group of kids I know they are about to get into so S*#T
lord-business-1982@reddit
I’ve started caring less.
nickgrau@reddit
I remember glass Gatorade bottles
horrordj@reddit
It is impossible for me to stand up silently. I sound like Rice Krispies every time I move.
Tall-File7279@reddit
I went down a waterslide and the lifeguard asked me if I needed help out of the water. He did not ask anyone else. I am incredibly sore from the one slide.
Ok_Researcher_9796@reddit
I sprained my knee putting on pants
D1rtNASTY666@reddit
I wake up and new things hurt that didn't before I went to sleep
Cultural_Detective_3@reddit
My knees hurt. All the time.
Step_Aside_Butch_77@reddit
A nap is now one of the highlights of my day.
Single-Ad-3260@reddit
Party on Dude
MadameTree@reddit
Got a new pair of bifocals last month.
jestercow@reddit
Sometimes sleeping hurts.
aerodeck@reddit
L4
ullrdass@reddit
I messed up my foot picking up my wife.
lm_nurse77@reddit
When I stand up from sitting for more than 10 minutes, I have to move slowly so my knees realize they need to start working.
Small_Disk_6082@reddit
Had a final minor fall a few weeks ago. Still haven't healed from it.
Kitykity77@reddit
I woke up with my back inexplicably hurting. 😢
VendaGoat@reddit
*Grunts standing up*
Kurayamisan@reddit
One day a phone came to the house. It had a cable and rotary dialer. A few months later lines were switch from analog to digital and got a touch tone phone. I than got a phone wireless. :) nothing changed since
Plan-BS@reddit
Yea I fucking love ankle socks,
Common_Tiger1526@reddit
This weekend was my birthday and I got a new lawn mower from my family and I am fucking psyched about it. (electric, I'm in deep w/ a particular brand & battery)
dust_grooves@reddit
I’m a chino enthusiast.
Yaasss_Queef@reddit
IDGAF; about anything really.
The2ndComingOfGoku@reddit
My daughter told my neighbor she thought I looked 53. And then said my mom looked 50. At least I'm a dude so I'm not upset by the comparison, lol
Intelligent_Box1363@reddit
I miss my Jnco’s!
UnadvancedDegree@reddit
I have 2 emails in my inbox about scheduling a colonoscopy.
Crash217@reddit
I spend like 10 hours a week looking like this.
CarlSpackler22@reddit
subtitles
IceSmiley@reddit
A pretty young girl came up to me and I thought she was going to flirt but she said "I love your popcorn, Mr Redenbacher" 🧓
NerdyKate@reddit
I just put up a sign that says “please pick up after your dog” on my balcony overlooking our buildings courtyard.
Ok_Percentage5157@reddit
Sorry, I'm busy.
NerdDesNordens@reddit
First thing I always did when I got a new video game and installed it was make a .bat file so I could launch it from the root C: prompt with the game's name and avoid a lot of extra typing. Later, I would make a master batch file that would run on boot and list all installed games with an assigned number, and all I'd have to do is enter a number and go.
Unlucky-Pomegranate3@reddit
I wanted to retire five years ago.
ihatecatboys@reddit
Pre-gaming for me is now noting if I'm going to get something sweet at a restaurant and having ibuprofen ready for the sugar headache that will inevitably follow.
pawogub@reddit
I have to pluck my ear hairs now.
Cass_Q@reddit
I hate it when movies and shows don't have subtitles
Jetski125@reddit
I grunt when I get out of the car, even after a ten minute drive!
Knees be popping for no reason sometimes.
Healthy-Neat-2989@reddit
Sleeping in makes my body hurt.
IAm5toned@reddit
I'm usually in bed fast asleep at the same time I used to start getting ready to go out in a few hours.
JuicePick@reddit
I’m holding my phone at arms length to read this thread 🤳🏼
Professional_Milk783@reddit
Shhhhh! I’m trying to get my pee started and you are distracting me..
ThreedZombies@reddit
I only listen to music I liked up through about 2010
Extra_Work7379@reddit
They changed what "it" was.
mlvassallo@reddit
My knees hurt. Always.
ISeeYouNoThanks@reddit
This year I got hemorrhoids and started peeing slower than someone twice my age.
Varuka_Pepper343@reddit
If you need me, don't.
fermentedradical@reddit
I finally have the cash and time to do the things I want, when I want.
Got the career I want doing the things I want.
Finally got in shape, eating right and taking care of my mental health.
I'm old enough to understand what not to do, mostly, and young enough to still enjoy a good quality of life.
Confident-Cellist-25@reddit
My two most visited websites recently have been arthritis.org and diabetes.org :(
Own-Balance-8133@reddit
I hurt everywhere
metally5822@reddit
I always know where my ibuprofen is and it’s never in the bathroom.
HalfFrozenSpeedos@reddit
I threw my neck out 3 years ago slowly turning my head to speak to my wife, very loud POP and debilitating pain ever since but despite the docs doing all manner of tests they can't find anything wrong apparently, yet multiple of them have noted "you are extremely hypersensitive to stimuli down your cervical and thorassic spine but not your lumbar spine" (apparently they know I'm NOT faking due to the involuntary flinching from even light touch and the wincing and attendant grunting and groaning at the same time, even oramorph does nada, pregabalin only takes the edge off it but still regularly in lots of pain.....if I was a horse someone would shoot me....seriously )
timsea99@reddit
I grunt every time I stand up
CanadianRacoonEnergy@reddit
People really sleep on Metamucil
Quixotegut@reddit
Psh... this guy... "slept wrong"...
My guy I looked in a direction wrong and gave myself a trigger point.
Riker_Omega_Three@reddit
I have to use earplugs at sporting events because the music is too loud
Younger folks like the loud music
older folks already have hearing loss
to me, it's like torture
Reasonable-Note-6876@reddit
As a kid....I was the TV remote.
thatVisitingHasher@reddit
I cleaned out my garage this weekend
iwasnotarobot@reddit
I know what plantar fasciitis is.
Buderus69@reddit
OH Oh, spaghettiooos
baltikboats@reddit
Staring out the window Clark griswald style
tanank08@reddit
I love a heated mattress pad
jocundry@reddit
I got really excited to deep clean my carpets last weekend
MSNFU@reddit
I sometimes injure myself while sleeping. To the point that it’s hard to function the next day.
Cool-Acanthaceae8968@reddit
I hurt.
llamakins2014@reddit
My best friend and I talk about grocery stores and recipes, we used to party pretty hard together.
HalfFrozenSpeedos@reddit
Sounds like my wife's sister
Dimplefrom-YA@reddit
i look forward to my bf going out with his guy friends, so i can get some peace and quiet.
Bibblegead1412@reddit
Any plan I have, I ask if there is food available.
redditcreditcardz@reddit
I’ve run out of room in my medicine cabinet. It’s been recently cleaned out
Feisty-Bluebird-5277@reddit
Before I get up out of bed, I just on the side for a little bit first. Getting up in stages now lol
JaxxisR@reddit
I don't follow instructions very well. I'm also middle-aged.
emeraldrose484@reddit
When you wake up, you dont "leap" out of bed, but slowly swing your legs over the side, pur your hands on your thighs, kind of sigh, and make a weird "urgh" noise as you push yourself upright. Sometimes this also comes with a weird extra crack or creek as you stand or take your first step - you dont always know from where, but you know it's not normal.
pregnantandsober@reddit
I enjoy watching golf on TV.
Secret_Cabinet2348@reddit
No, I will not.
YoGrizzly@reddit
Alka-Seltzer works great for a lot of ailments
Moquai82@reddit
"Bullrich Salz"
Slammogram@reddit
Idgaf about so so much.
But more importantly-
I take Tylenol and ibuprofen at the same time.
sorrymizzjackson@reddit
I screwed up my back while laying in bed this morning. I woke up fine, cuddled the cat, bam fucked.
I’ve never had one I couldn’t shake off with movement, a heating pad, or a glass of wine. I’ve had all those things and it’s just barely bearable now.
Is this being old? Yeah, that sucks.
do-not-separate@reddit
When I try to think of a recent movie it’s usually about ten years old.
When I see a group of teenage boys walking towards me on the sidewalk, I get a little nervous.
I regularly pluck my ear hair (and find myself enjoying the asmr).
Express-Cow190@reddit
Well I got called an old man by a 12 year old girl the other day. I’m still recovering from that.
NineToeBIll@reddit
I scratched my back and pull my abdomen muscles
WhiskeyGirl223@reddit
Oww!…my back!
Jets237@reddit
Shooting off fireworks early? Nope, thats just the noise my knees make when I squat
bigsampsonite@reddit
Advil
postit31@reddit
spend a long time mowing the lawn and washing my cars.
llamakins2014@reddit
Doctors, etc use the phrase "for someone your age"
sistersweaving@reddit
I'm in decent shape. I swim, dance, hike, bike, skate, etc. But, I've thrown my neck out hanging curtains and don't get me started on sleeping "wrong". In fact, I once kinked my neck by putting on a seat belt. Being old is painful.
cardie82@reddit
Same. Even with a permanently bad knee and back I stay active and am in decent shape. There are an increasing number of mornings where I wake up and something new hurts because I slept wrong.
HalfFrozenSpeedos@reddit
I hurt all over No energy Misanthropic as hell
mermaidsnlattes@reddit
I guess I tensed up while cracking an ice cube tray, and my neck hurt so bad to move for like 3 days
ncpsycho@reddit
thepatientwaiting@reddit
I completely sympathize - I feel asleep on the couch and strained my neck so bad I had to use heat patches and lots of otc meds to help dull the pain. Took me almost a week to recover!
As someone who has fallen asleep at concerts, on the floor of a Greek ferry ship, and crammed inside a car with a friend because my tent leaked in a rainstorm, it saddened me to be injured by a nap.
scormegatron@reddit
Hit me on the hip.
johnnyhammerstixx@reddit
We sure needed this rain. Hey, what kind of bird is that?
llamakins2014@reddit
I have to fully brace my body if I'm about to sneeze or else it'll hurt my back.
DesignIntelligent456@reddit
The Harbor Freight electric mower, chainsaw, blower, trimmer and all the other potentials make me so happy! (We own the ones I mentioned.);
hozezero@reddit
TV had to be set to channel 3
Illustrious-Lead-960@reddit
https://www.reddit.com/r/Retro/comments/1ecy1lw/simple_quiz_to_determine_if_youre_middleaged/
I_Just_Blue_Myself@reddit
Stop saying literally wrong
gnrlgumby@reddit
I'm thinking of varying up my grilling strategies this summer.
elkniodaphs@reddit
CanOfPenisJuice@reddit
Oldschoolcool
Quackoverride@reddit
I groan when getting up from chairs. Especially if I had a long run the day before. Just… no. The agony.
Away_Worldliness4472@reddit
Spicy food burns as badly coming out as it did going in
ezhammer@reddit
I sneezed. Now my back hurts.
Safe-Mortgage6919@reddit
Son: “Dad, that’s Kendrik Lamar. His music is awesome.”
Me: “He’s no Phil Anselmo boy.”
Atworkwasalreadytake@reddit
Hammocks hurt my neck.
Iamnotyourhero@reddit
I stepped wrong, hurt my back, and couldn’t stand up straight for two days.
Safe-Mortgage6919@reddit
I just bought some CDs the other day.
aroundincircles@reddit
I'm on day 3 of a crick in my neck. I've done it before and a little stretching and moving about and it's gone within a few hours, this is the first time it has lasted days, and I feel awful.
CTSenVy@reddit
Knees go pop.
VikDamnedLee@reddit
Nonalcoholic fatty liver disease
Voronthered@reddit
I woke up with a stitch ...... I went out on Saturday and was home by 7 .....
BlackPhoenix1981@reddit
I went out with a bunch of friends a few weeks back. I was done by 9pm. I'm so lame.
epidemicsaints@reddit
Quit running in and out of the house!!!!!
StandardStrategy1229@reddit
Dude lifting my infant and toddler sibling has really triggered tendinitis. It’s really debilitating and takes me three times longer to wipe my ass.
OtherlandGirl@reddit
I keep muscle relaxers on hand - once you need them you can’t get anywhere to get them.
usernames_suck_ok@reddit
I used to have cricks as a kid, too.
It now takes me 2 minutes to get up and get to another room when someone wants me to come quickly.