ULPT: Use agricultural grade mint bombs to destroy someone's yard

[-]

ItPutsLotionOnItSkin@reddit

If you ever plan to move and decide to go full nuclear throw some bamboo seeds into his yard. Impossible to get rid of and it does physical structural damage.

[-]

oyxy@reddit (OP)

They sell a bamboo version called Bamboo Hell https://ebay.us/m/VVAOW4

[-]

_tribecalledquest@reddit

They have any different varieties of this? Love mint excited to get some growing lol

[-]

oyxy@reddit (OP)

Yes but it seems to be bamboo and catnip

[-]

Slow-Alternative-100@reddit

Does this mean I could get free mint?

[-]

oyxy@reddit (OP)

Yeah, just be a jerk to your neighbor. You might get bamboo though, they have one called Bamboo Hell

https://ebay.us/m/VVAOW4

[-]

Yuntonow@reddit

Wait till you see what bamboo can do.

[-]

oyxy@reddit (OP)

There's a bamboo one too

https://ebay.us/m/VVAOW4

[-]

rupicolous@reddit

The best mint relative for this application is stinging nettle. Itches, stings, grows just as aggressively. 😁 Seed readily available in bulk quantities. 😁

[-]

I... Regret clicking that. Now I am left with questions but I want none of them answered. The last time I was this displeased was when I thought I'd found a forum with reviews about raincoats. I thought it was going to be some cute nettle nerds or an interesting variety people grow at home. The only thing I regret more than clicking that was clicking the first post thinking oh maybe it's a nettle injury from harvesting? Nope. Nor was it an oddly shaped sweet potato which was my first thought. I've never thought penises were aesthetically pleasing in general but that was like the ginger root of penis.

[-]

FootsieMcDingus@reddit

If you scroll further there is an uncircumcised penis with nettles shoved in the foreskin like a bouquet. Or as one commenter said “an elephant eating a salad”. Also a bonus sounding plug in the urethra. OR if you go further there is a nettled up cock sandwiches between two wooden logs. People are wild

[-]

Greedy-Tart5025@reddit

Thank you for actually describing that link everyone else was being vague about.

[-]

FootsieMcDingus@reddit

HFO stands for Hands Free Orgasm. They use the nettles to stimulate their dick till jizzums

[-]

Neat_Albatross4190@reddit

Hmm. I definitely didn't need to know that. I have even more questions now. At least your username is... Approopriate?

[-]

FreeSockLimit1@reddit

I think I'm gonna close this app for awhile now.

Y'all take care.

[-]

IdLOVEYOU2die@reddit

....what

[-]

FootsieMcDingus@reddit

Exactly

[-]

DifficultCurrent7@reddit

I didn't click to the link to that sub until I read your comment. I was like "how bad could it be?". Yeah, that bad. I bet the guys from the sounding forum would have a fit seing people shove unsterile things with stray organic matter up there.

[-]

Immediate_Detail_709@reddit

It looks like a penis, only smaller.

[-]

Leofleo@reddit

Those of us who are old enough to remember r/spacedicks know regret clicking.

[-]

P_mp_n@reddit

I've yet to click the link

Your description is.. interesting? Hilarious? Thank you

I can feel your displeasure

A fucking sweet potato tho?! I'm crying

[-]

dyingbreed6009@reddit

Well, that's enough reddit for today..

[-]

evnhogan@reddit

Bro, what the fuck

[-]

sofakingwright@reddit

WHAT

[-]

Boomboooom@reddit

I hate my fucking eyes right now

[-]

unicornlocostacos@reddit

Jesus Christ why did we have to take the internet and make it…this.

[-]

Opening_Ad5479@reddit

It's a terrible day to have eyesight

[-]

krypto-pscyho-chimp@reddit

Damn. I thought r/dragonsfuckingcars and r/watchpeopledie was fucked but this is a whole new level.

[-]

ratvirtex@reddit

Holy shit what

[-]

Spiritual_Dealer_709@reddit

WTF 😳

[-]

standardtissue@reddit

i thought that would be a gardening sub ffs. is it not a gardening sub. do not click.

[-]

DifficultCurrent7@reddit

Well in a way it is. They're out enjoying the fresh air and finding wild flora to..use

[-]

DormantDormouse@reddit

Well every day is a learning day : /

[-]

lokicramer@reddit

What. The. Fuck.

[-]

djremould@reddit

I clicked that hoping for soup recipes. Thanks

[-]

MaceInThePlace@reddit

Why was I nosy?

[-]

Engineer_This@reddit

Ah fuck.

[-]

SleepyLakeBear@reddit

You can sautée it like spinach and it's great!

[-]

NCC__1701@reddit

Makes great tea with elderberry and some peppermint too. I make iced tea with it during to summer because somewhere I read that it helps with allergies. No idea if it actually does, but it’s definitely tasty and refreshing :)

[-]

kitiikit@reddit

Use it as pesto

[-]

twig0sprog@reddit

And tea!

[-]

bardolph77@reddit

Wine is more fun and surprisingly good.

[-]

twig0sprog@reddit

Stinging nettle wine..? I am intrigued.

[-]

surfinwhileworkin@reddit

And toilet paper in a bind!

[-]

61746162626f7474@reddit

Makes very good soup as well

[-]

PlainNotToasted@reddit

:O

[-]

Jacktheforkie@reddit

And it will grow literally anywhere

[-]

IronOk4535@reddit

It makes an amazing fertilizer too

[-]

DannyMotorcycle@reddit

Had mint in the grass when I moved in.. loved it. Kept mosquitos away and smelled great.

Eventually it died out on it's own. I wish my neighbor would mint bomb my yard..

I've been thinking of bambo because it's cheaper than a fence.. and I want my privacy because that idiot calls the county on stuff if my yard.

[-]

BJntheRV@reddit

We just bought a house. Guess what the previous owner thought would be great to add to her rose bed?

[-]

quelin1@reddit

Is this why I inexplicably have so much mint growing in my yard this year?

[-]

OccamsRabbit@reddit

Who knows? Have you been a good neighbor?

[-]

Obvious-Solid-2512@reddit

State Farm is there?

[-]

jonestown007@reddit

Stay over there?? That's how we sing it

[-]

reddit_killed_apollo@reddit

Is this an ad, or do you just hate your neighbor?

[-]

oyxy@reddit (OP)

Hating my neighbor is what made me look for the product, only one I found, seems like a bad idea to use legitimately

[-]

grego1123@reddit

What happens once the mint finishes taking over your neighbours yard and it’s looking for new soil to conquer?

[-]

CutsAPromo@reddit

Then you best start bookmarking recipes on cooking with mint. Hope you like middle Eastern and indian

[-]

omcstreet@reddit

That's where OP pitches his business idea - peppermint gum made from neighbors yard.

[-]

Fermooto@reddit

New product line idea. Mint + anthrax...

[-]

Bcohen5055@reddit

Manthrax?

[-]

thesweatervest@reddit

Manthrax, its anthrax for Men

[-]

DeMarcusBen@reddit

Minthrax.

[-]

dwyrm@reddit

Minmax.

[-]

oyxy@reddit (OP)

I chucked them into his rain gutters

[-]

One_Impression_5649@reddit

Omg don’t be a coward Just throw it in his yard!! It’s mint not anthrax.

[-]

Frisinator@reddit

Do a hybrid and get minthrax!

[-]

NCC__1701@reddit

Went from 0 to 60 in 4 comments.

Contained but incredibly annoying. Love it.

[-]

youarenotgonnalikeme@reddit

You gonna be pissed when they overrun your yard. I had a neighbor who decided to plant ivy…just plain ivy. Everyone hates him in the neighborhood bc no one can have a yard without ivy growing in it.

[-]

0iljug@reddit

Fucking delete this dude, why leave a digital trail lol.

[-]

nosniboD@reddit

The gutters that go straight into a drain?

[-]

OccamsRabbit@reddit

That's a good twist.

[-]

anusdotcom@reddit

Don’t worry, just plant bamboo as a barrier

[-]

AlyKhat@reddit

[-]

grego1123@reddit

I feel so silly

Its so obvious this is the answer

[-]

wiperfromwarren@reddit

crazy coincidence that you’re all about numetal and the ebay account also sells numetal t-shirts

[-]

krlnknzt@reddit

Wow, racist much?

[-]

oyxy@reddit (OP)

I would describe nu-metal as perhaps my most hated genre of music, all I post about is daft punk

[-]

wiperfromwarren@reddit

lol his account here posts a lot about nu-metal/daft punk and the only ebay account that sells this stuff also sells used nu-metal t-shirts… good call.

[-]

Char_siu_for_you@reddit

And the ecosystem!

[-]

ColdBunch3851@reddit

And my axe!

[-]

Low_Statistician2005@reddit

Bamboo is also evil if you get the right variety

[-]

ItsRadical@reddit

Bamboo isnt just evil, thats like ecological warfare.

[-]

whatsawin@reddit

Japanese knotweed

[-]

RaySFishOn@reddit

Kudzu

[-]

Forgottengoldfishes@reddit

Satan has entered the chat….

[-]

1984SKIN@reddit

Illegal and immoral.

[-]

Investotron69@reddit

Where do you think we are?

[-]

GNav@reddit

Apparently 1984

[-]

monolayth@reddit

Not to toot my own horn, I have a thumb so black, I've killed mint multiple times.

I was trying to grow it repeatedly. I am where plants go to die.

[-]

dontgetpupset@reddit

Same I can’t get any mint plant to live. And I hear it’s like a weed and will thrive with no effort…

[-]

oyxy@reddit (OP)

Whatever was in these seed bombs was absolutely nuclear powered. Mint had actual fangs.

[-]

monolayth@reddit

I might be able to keep that alive then.

[-]

fullofmaterial@reddit

If your neighbour has mint, you will have mint soon. If you are not into mint based cocktails, i would not suggest that

[-]

kingoftheoneliners@reddit

Dude.. if you wanna do serious damage , plant some bamboo rhizomes… fucking mint. What a puss.

[-]

That_Account6143@reddit

I'd be scared of it eventually spilling over into my yard

[-]

kingoftheoneliners@reddit

Yep legitimate fear.. I was thinking he had a driveway between his yard and the neighbors. ..

[-]

Baby_Billy_818@reddit

As someone who grew up in a literal bamboo forest, I can confirm with certainty that a driveway will not even remotely slow down the spread of running bamboo. I have seen bamboo go under driveways and new shoots punch right up through the asphalt.

[-]

kingoftheoneliners@reddit

I’m laughing thinking about how this dude can bring down an entire neighborhood with a tiny piece of bamboo….

[-]

robble808@reddit

Unless that driveway is 8’ deep not gonna help

[-]

HalfaYooper@reddit

Put up a fence. It blocks it.

[-]

HalfaYooper@reddit

What do these look like? $30 is a lot for some seeds.

[-]

haleontology@reddit

I'd put these in my own yard LOL I love mint that much🤣🤣🤣

[-]

beauregrd@reddit

is the mint usable for cocktails?

[-]

heets@reddit

It is but the OG mint for this is not the sort OP is referencing. That variety, for one difference, has very small leaves. Still - a mojito is a mojito!

[-]

pammypoovey@reddit

Is it peppermint, or spearmint? I just got a peppermint plant and the leaves are much smaller than the commercially available mint, which I think is spearmint.

And it's in a pot that is elevated above the ground. Not today, Satan.

[-]

heets@reddit

The OG mint for mojitos is Mentha x villosa, AKA "hairy mint" AKA "mojito mint." It's actually a mint hybrid itself. Ever heard of "hybrid vigor?" Yeah....

[-]

One_Impression_5649@reddit

You can be the mojito suburban kingpin

[-]

Tfire327@reddit

🤣🤣

[-]

0iljug@reddit

Hmm how about for desert climates? You don't water something here and it will die.

[-]

SeanFrank@reddit

I lived in Southwest Colorado, not quite desert, but high desert at least.

We had mint in the yard, and there was no getting rid of it.

[-]

ngaaih@reddit

Hand grenades?

[-]

0iljug@reddit

That is unethical lmao

[-]

insecurecharm@reddit

This is nice, was going to make my own but this might be better...

[-]

oyxy@reddit (OP)

These ended up being significantly better than anything I could make myself

[-]

dariasea10@reddit

Am I the only one who enjoys mint?

[-]

Diggingcanyons@reddit

I do. I'd love my whole yard to be mint. I'd like something that tolerates mowing or just doesn't grow tall. It would have to survive scorching summers and cold winters and would have to have drought tolerance. I dont think I'll find what I want lol

[-]

Tony817@reddit

The grand majority cant. But they still do anyways.

Others just make more money than you and or have better budgeting skills to afford eating out more frequent.

[-]

Lebowski-Lebowski@reddit

Nothing grows with salt in the soil. Salt is easy to disperse. Can suspend it in water and pour it in areas, or sprinkle. For added confusion, treat in patches randomly placed around yard.

[-]

No-Worldliness-7832@reddit

What if you’re in a tropical area that rains a lot a lot? I sprinkle a lot of salt in a patch area and some die but the salt ran off and everything it’s back again. Also on a small hill so water washes it down

[-]

Lebowski-Lebowski@reddit

In that case, if the salt is washing off, you need to get it in the soil. Either by fully disolving the salt in water, then pouring it in slow enough to soak in, and not run off, or dig out the area 2 or 3 inches deep, mix the soil with the salt, then put the salty soil back. The only question is how much salt. That I cant answer but I would assume the Google can.

[-]