Gooner evolution | TheaterFire

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Gooning these days to all this is the equivalent of smoking crack. We are probably doing untold amounts of damage to our brains due to chronic gooning with modern tech. #1 problem today that nobody ever wants to discuss

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Letters_to_Dionysus@reddit

the gooning isn't the problem, the problem is that your life is empty enough that you have to fill it with gooning.

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poopcockshit@reddit

They’d rather think of themselves as addicts than just good ol’ losers

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KaszualKartofel@reddit

there's no definitive answer to the effects of pronography, but their severity isn't even comparable to crack.

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Intelligent_Toast@reddit

Yeah I'm pretty sure the withdrawals from crack are a lot worse than just not touching your dick for a month

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KaszualKartofel@reddit

yeah

Like, I'm not saying that porn is good for you or something, but some people talk about it like it'll make you go blind lmao.

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Intelligent_Toast@reddit

Yeah, I agree. I think it's just this strange hyper-religious resurgence that has played a part in how the topic has been discussed in the last few years. I definitely think it's not something that's good for you, but hard drugs will genuinely destroy your life and kill you. It seems like a silly comparison.

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KaszualKartofel@reddit

I don't think it's religious. I think it's manosphere influenced ideas about keeping your testosterone high. Which BTW your testosterone levels don't get significantly influenced by masturbating.

When it comes to adverse effects of masturbation, there are none for adults, as far I understand. For porn, there seem to be some adverse psyhological effects on kids, that also goes for violent content, but again compared to alcohol or bullying, they seem rather minor.

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KnownAsAnother@reddit

You mean the male loneliness epidemic is caused by unfettered access to KoЯn, making marriage effectively pointless because they no longer have to get married to look at a lady's butthole?

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Routine-Professor586@reddit

People back in the day were fucking like animals every single day right after they reached puberty because there weren't many forms of entertainment back then. How is that any different from jerking off to porn everyday?

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madmanwitharedditacc@reddit

What's the difference between finding a partner and having sex with them and looking at a screen and rubbing one out? Well, phew, I really can't think of anything either! Literally the same thing!!!

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Routine-Professor586@reddit

Either way your dick gets stimilated and jizz comes out. The end result for your body is the same.

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Cracker8464@reddit

Pure copium

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Routine-Professor586@reddit

My point still stands. No one talks about how having sex every single day is bad but somehow it's bad to jerk off every day. Make it make sense.

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Cracker8464@reddit

I'll say it. Having sex every single day, atleast with strangers can be bad for you too

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Routine-Professor586@reddit

Ahh so you proved my point that they aren't that different.

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5p4n911@reddit

No, the different part is the one you overlooked, "finding a partner".

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Routine-Professor586@reddit

I'm pretty sure I emphasized the part about how it affects "your" body.

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Nikigara@reddit

It’s always struck me as weird when people are against age restricting online pornography.

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ToumaKazusa1@reddit

It's always struck me as weird that people think that would improve anything.

I guess theoretically we could go full Great Firewall, outlaw VPNs, and actually restrict internet content as tightly as we restrict real life content. But most people seem to agree that's a bad idea, and the concept of a free internet is pretty popular.

So if we have a free internet, that means I can go to a website hosted in another country, that doesn't have to follow US laws, and watch what I want. Just like you can watch movies online for free with a simple internet search, you can watch other kinds of movies. Sure, if the police try they can take some of these down, but I'm sure Hollywood would love to see movie piracy be killed off, and yet that doesn't happen.

So if we pass these laws anyway, and force sites like Pornhub, redgifs, etc, to use verification methods, it will not stop teenagers from finding whatever it is they want to find. Instead, it will push them away from websites that have relatively high levels of moderation to screen out illegal content, and towards websites with minimal moderation.

The two options that make sense are Great Firewall or minimal regulation. Going halfway just makes everything worse.

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Nikigara@reddit

This point of view is identical to that of people who oppose more thorough background checks for gun ownership. No regulation is not the same as some regulation. Yes, VPNs can still be used, but surely some regulation is better than none.

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vjmdhzgr@reddit

Websites are almost effortless to find. Smuggling a gun in from another country is a lot harder.

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ToumaKazusa1@reddit

Did you read any of my comment, because I specifically addressed this

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anal_opera@reddit

Yeah but crack is fun too so I'm not sure I understand the point

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K_Dogg_@reddit

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anal_opera@reddit

That's a meth pipe. Crack pipe doesn't have a bulb.

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AntiProtonBoy@reddit

show me a functioning and well adjusted crack addict

that's the point

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Ubermenschisch@reddit

Its all fun and games til someone whores their mouth out.

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anal_opera@reddit

Then it's fun and games and blowjobs, still sounds like a great time

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Ubermenschisch@reddit

Would not have guessed you were a fan of giving blowjobs, but to each their own

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anal_opera@reddit

There is no such thing as straight when you're 3 days into a crack'n'jack binge.

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Ubermenschisch@reddit

gif

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UsErNaMeS_aR_DuMb@reddit

Maybe that we should be smoking more of it? I don’t get this guy’s point either.

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ollieboio@reddit

Hmm let's debate this topic over some crack

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DSpiralFeel@reddit

Splendid

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iz-Moff@reddit

#1 problem today that nobody ever wants to discuss

Oh really? Cause i feel like every other time i open a topic that involves any kind of sexual content, half of the comments are "gooning this" and "gooning that" and "i'm sick of all the gooning" and "hey guys, have i told you yet that i'm not a gooner? Cause i'm not a gooner like those gooning gooners!".

Then November comes around and everyone talks about their attempts to abstain from jerking off, and all the bro science they make to motivate themselves to keep at it.

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CelDidNothingWrong@reddit

Yeah it’s kind of the exact opposite, it’s become a huge talking point lol

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5p4n911@reddit

The point is, that it's a talking point but nothing ever really changes, we just like talking about our self-made problems.

That being said, let it be known that I am not a gooner myself, unlike those gooning gooners.

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stillmahboi@reddit

1 problem today that nobody ever wants to discuss

This is probably the most first world problem complaining I've seen in a long while.

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BurysainsEleas@reddit

But hey, at least regular masturbation is good for your prostate.

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MinuetInUrsaMajor@reddit

I don't think it's as universal or extreme as crack.

It's more like gambling. Most people can handle it - some can't.

1 problem today that nobody ever wants to discuss

It seems like it's being discussed in proportionality to its damage.

Most people aren't having any problems from porn that they aren't already getting from doomscrolling, screen time, phone life, etc.

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T-Toyn@reddit

Kelloggs tried to warn them, but those cowards didn't want to cut off more than half of their infants' penises

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basilisk_boi2@reddit

Will Keith Kellogg was a hero, we just couldn’t see it yet

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Anonson694@reddit

“He was a-“ I started, before flinching in pain, I looked down to see a growing blood stain on my pants.

“A thief! A criminal!” I cried out.

“He stole my foreskin!” I stated angrily after glancing beneath my pants.

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KnownAsAnother@reddit

mfw my dad knew better than to chop up his sons

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longLegboy9000@reddit

Is that a J.Jonah Jameson reference?

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Dragonslayer3@reddit

gif

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DrLimp@reddit

I think redditors overestimate how much people masturbate. Here's full of porn addicts, but if you touch grass you see most people still jerk off in moderation.

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kakje666@reddit

that is true tbh

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Matt_2504@reddit

That’s why I quit

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Ck_shock@reddit

Oh that's got to be doing some kind of damage to the brain.

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pepitobuenafe@reddit

Noup, except for people adicted to porn jerking of literally every day haven't being link to any issue.

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T-Toyn@reddit

Also teenagers back then: become so starved for nudes that they start marrying the first woman that will begrudgingly let them do it, dooming them to a life of misery.

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HelpMePlxoxo@reddit

Are you implying that porn consumption improves relationships? Because pretty much every bit of evidence says the contrary lol.

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T-Toyn@reddit

Lol, I'm not going to commit to a discussion about the psychological effects of porn consumption in relation to happiness/success rate of relationships with several hard to quantify parameters over a Boomer-joke.

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Ok_comodore@reddit

gen z has less sex than boomers did like generationally

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redditor-3568@reddit

Gen z apparently lies on surveys ans to doctors a lot more than boomers did

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deadpanrobo@reddit

Yeah as a current Gen Z, I only know 1 Virgin and its because he's mega religious, people were having sex in middle school back in 2012, Gen Z don't answer most surveys because of the outdated methods that most survey companies use

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no_4@reddit

No fear of AIDs. Young in the 1970s when "dating" was different than "going steady" (can date more than 1 person at a time).

Wild to me.

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InflatableCatCooper@reddit

Elaborate

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GuerillaGandhi@reddit

refuses to elaborate

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vapordaveremix@reddit

And thereby creating an avalanche of boomer wife jokes.

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ApprehensiveAd6620@reddit

worth it

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Superkritisk@reddit

Porn is turning your son into a gooner, is the new "violent videogames made them do X, Y and Z"

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tanalto@reddit

Back when I was kid I would just ask to see other girls boobs.

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Organic-Intention335@reddit

Sure grandpa

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tanalto@reddit

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MuuCamel@reddit

Is this what you deadbeats do all day? Talk about cooz?

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Repulsive_Mechanic74@reddit

“you never had the makings of a varsity athlete”

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Jack-of-Hearts-7@reddit

In 2050, when we all have neural implants replacing cellphones, the porn can be streamed into your head constantly. Wired to the nerves, so it feels like you're having sex. It's attached to the pleasure center of your brain too, and gives it shocks to enhance the feeling.

There's also an eye implant where you can scan somebody off the street, and have the neurolink make a deepfake of the getting fucked any way you choose. There's an airdrop mode as well where you can instantaneously send the scan around to anybody in the area and tag them in it.

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DickHydra@reddit

I think there's a scene in Minority Report that shows something like that.

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fluxrider@reddit

sick stick

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MericanMeal@reddit

Neural implants that nuts you every 2 hours, you don't even get given time to think about or associate it with anything before you just instantly get one of the really good busts every time, after a generation people don't even associate it with reproduction or have desires towards others anymore. It becomes such a norm that two people will be having a conversation, one of them will go off on schedule, and the other person won't even think anything of it.

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cheneyza@reddit

Remembering nudes sent to our T9 cellphones were worth their weight in gold. Meanwhile, some girls were already just reusing the same one to different guys 😂

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AlabamaHotcakes@reddit

Oh they times they are changing.

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bartholomewjohnson@reddit (OP)

Come gather 'round, people, wherever you roam

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I_am_Reptoid_King@reddit

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5p4n911@reddit

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I_am_Reptoid_King@reddit

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5p4n911@reddit

I wanted to save this last time but Reddit acted up, so thank you for the public service, kind sir

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man-teiv@reddit

I'm so glad people have starting interrupting line-by-line quoting of a song because it makes my skin crawl from second hand embarrassment

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Hyperfluidexv@reddit

And admit that the waters around you have grown

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TRUFFELX@reddit

Blow me jones

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Wiitard@reddit

This might explain why young folks these days are so adverse to nudity/sex scenes in mainstream media.

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DrLimp@reddit

Are they?

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AuthorizedAppleEater@reddit

Generally yeah, most zoomers think that explicit sex scenes in movies and shows are annoying and unnecessary.

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PM_ME_FUTANARI420@reddit

I’m tired of all the violence on TV too

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The_Third_Molar@reddit

As a 90s/2000s kid, my mom had no problem with violence and cursing but I could NOT watch any movie with nipple.

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fenian1798@reddit

Same age here. My mom had a really weird attitude about all that stuff. Sex, drugs, violence, swearing etc were fine as long as it was in a non-animated film or TV show. Seriously, I saw the likes of Reservoir Dogs and The Sopranos when I was like 8 years old. In other words, any kind of "adult" content was fine as long as it was real actors.

But "adult" cartoons or video games? Those were completely forbidden. I wasn't allowed to watch South Park or Family Guy, or play GTA or Call of Duty, or anything remotely like that. Which put me at a big social disadvantage growing up; other boys my age were into all that stuff, but it is what it is. I wasn't allowed games with guns in them whatsoever; I didn't get to play any until I was making my own money and could buy them for myself. I was stuck with just Super Mario and Crash Bandicoot long past the age where that was socially acceptable.

And despite how laissez-faire she was when it came to sex/nipples in movies/TV (again, provided it was actual actresses and not cartoons or video game characters), my mom was (and still is, even though I'm a grown man now) extremely prudish when it came to the notion of me dating or having sex. To the point that I had to get my dad to put a lock on my bedroom door because she kept "accidentally-on-purpose" barging in on me and my first girlfriend fooling around in order to break it up.

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Hopesick_2231@reddit

So you grew up watching top kino instead of the slop your friends were consuming? Doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world.

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fenian1798@reddit

Yeah, in hindsight, sure. But I didn't appreciate it at the time, and my peers certainly didn't. Nobody gave a fuck about The Sopranos, they just thought I was gay (even though at the time none of us really understood what that word actually meant) because my mom wouldn't let me watch South Park, lol.

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bartholomewjohnson@reddit (OP)

It was the opposite with my mom. A movie could have violence and sex scenes galore but she put her foot down at bad words.

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iz-Moff@reddit

As a 90s kid, my mom had no problem with violence or nipples. Now if there was swearing, that would be a no-no. Luckily (?) there is a long standing tradition in our country to "soften" profanity in translation, so for the most part i was watching whatever i wanted, lol.

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I-hate-fake-storys@reddit

Where are those good ol fashioned values.... upon wh8ch we used to rely?

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Dd_8630@reddit

Lucky there's a family guy!

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soiboi64@reddit

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viva_la_republica@reddit

Luckily there's a man who positively can do the things that make us laugh and cry!

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myn3meisjo3@reddit

He’s… A… Family… GUY!

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TudorG22@reddit

not only do I not think that's a thing, that would also not make any sense... if anything it would render it more common/less taboo

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justaBB6@reddit

It’s less taboo, but it’s also less necessary to a film plot. Hammed-up romance scenes in movies don’t usually move a plot forward, and are no longer racy or provocative in this kind of social context.

If these kinds of scenes aren’t getting a rise out of anyone, people recognize it more often as kinda superfluous if not flatly hamfisted and uncomfortable, and they want it less often.

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TudorG22@reddit

true

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Raleth@reddit

Hmm I hadn’t considered that honestly. I don’t really agree with the idea that nothing should have those things in it ever again and that people should still be able to make the stuff they want, but it is an interesting point to consider.

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loscapos5@reddit

put the same scene in that PG movie

keira knightley in Pirates of the Caribbean 1

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rwzephyr@reddit

Kate Winslet in Titanic and Milla Jovovich in 5th Element both on VHS

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Grobfoot@reddit

The VCR was doing some hard work the first time 10 y/o me watched Titanic late at night at my grandparents house lmao

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gintoki_1513@reddit

Surely this won't have any adverse effects on one's mental well being.

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lazyygothh@reddit

I used to just stick my dick in the jacuzzi jet and think about my choir teacher. she was a woman.

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Pandelein@reddit

I got hospitalised with a nasty uti doing that as a kid.

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destroyerOfTards@reddit

Give us some more details so that we can also stick our ducks in the jacuzzi jet.

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Klokinator@reddit

she was a woman

The way you said that strongly implies to the nth degree that he absolutely was not a woman. Just be yourself bro. Admit your true feelings.

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scorpionballs@reddit

Did you cum in the family jacuzzi a lot then?

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lazyygothh@reddit

it was in the bathtub, and yes

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Bigr789@reddit

Yeah my dad I used to do the same thing. I miss those days

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lazyygothh@reddit

love 'em or leave 'em, amirite?

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Bigr789@reddit

Once our local gas station stopped carrying Newports he made a new family in Indiana

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SalvationSycamore@reddit

Adult woman fetish 🤢

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Silence_1444@reddit

simpler days, when everyone had a jacuzzi (and a women teacher)

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YWNBAW12345@reddit

**men. We don't use that kind of language on this Christian board. Too stimulating for the gooners.

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bartholomewjohnson@reddit (OP)

That sounds like a good way to get some sort of UTI

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JesseVykar@reddit

Fake: women aren't really

Gay: the choir teacher was of course a man

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NapalmRDT@reddit

Sounding with chlorinated water, one of my favorite pastimes

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WinterFizz@reddit

😂😂 you got a picture of her good sir 😂😂 share some with the rest of us!!

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SweetTooth275@reddit

I think looking at a picture of a nipple and jacking off to it requires much more brain athletics only to jack off which makes those older generations more of a gooners.

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ActuallyCalindra@reddit

Lifetime? I've speedran a 100% completion in a couple decades, mate.

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The_Nude_Mocracy@reddit

Which ones your favourite

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ActuallyCalindra@reddit

Your mum's.

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The_Nude_Mocracy@reddit

Damn how long you been a necrophiliac?

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Steve_Rogers909@reddit

Jesus Christ lmaoo

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PeikaFizzy@reddit

milienial use back in my days in porn now, we are gooning scaling

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rem87062597@reddit

Getting around parental filters was one of the things that got me into computers. After doing what I could with Windows I ended up eventually dual booting Linux where I had free reign. It led me down a rabbit hole of teaching myself how to problem solve with computers and now I'm a software developer. Porn basically gave me a good career and determined the path of my life.

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EMEYDI@reddit

First time i nutted was from a custom map in warcraft 3 named "sexy isand" i think ? Downloaded wc3 a while back just revisit it and goddamn it was still glorious

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CarlCarlton@reddit

This? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjWCXSyxuXY

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EMEYDI@reddit

Yes!!

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EMEYDI@reddit

Harder part was, i was playing offline and this map was basically impossible to solo for me. And the in game cheats didn't work for some reason, so i had to open the map in map editor, spawn a buncha tomes of power, then go in game and solo the thing xD. Good times.

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CarlCarlton@reddit

/u/EMEYDI getting ready for his WC3 gooning session

gif

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H00ston@reddit

ey boss whats da plan

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Kayubatu@reddit

Google Images

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WinglyBap@reddit

He’ll, I used to have to crank it to music videos on MTV.

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aardvarkgecko@reddit

MTV Grind FTW.

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Ow_you_shot_me@reddit

It was channel 10 and eleven for me. Always fiddling with the rabbit ears and later messing with the cable and aux cords to just make out a nipple at best.

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gerundingnounshire@reddit

>anon sees vocal minority
>mistakes volume for quantity

many such cases

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LadenifferJadaniston@reddit

de

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Dd_8630@reddit

We went from sex-starved misogynists to unwashed gooners. There was a sweet range between 1990 and 2005 when we had things just right.

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wordjedi@reddit

No wonder age of marriage keeps getting older, and divorce rates are so high

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The_real_bandito@reddit

and parents don’t even enable parental controls on their devices to prevent this.

Not saying that it will 100% block everything but it’s better than nothing.

Theres also YouTube and Twitch with their content based on teasing.

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bendbars_liftgates@reddit

I didnt have to fiddle with my TV, Playboy and Spice were always just there- albeit scrambled- on the two highest numbered channels of basic cable.

Also I paid all my lunch money to this one kid whose parents had Cinemax, Shotime, a lot of blank VHS tapes, and apparently didn't watch him very closely, and he gave me like 3 hours of taped medicore softcore. What a deal.

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