I don't know a huge amount about British tabloids, but doesn't The Sun have a reputation for being just about the lowest quality journalism imaginable?
"Sun readers don't care who runs the country as long as she's got big tits"
Putting aside the fact that it was The Sun, if such a hybrid were possible I'm sure it would have happened naturally at some point. Humans are gross. Someone out there would have fucked a chimpanzee because they were horny. I recognize that if it were a human male, the chimp would have had to be under anesthesia I still think it would have happened. Think of all the people who have tried to have sex with domesticated farm animals. Hell, in my small town there was an incident where a teenage boy got caught trying to fuck a horse.
if the sun say something it’s wise to assume the exact opposite until you can verify it through other means, the only use of the sun’s papers is as really shitty toilet paper
So I’m Florida unfortunately, there may actually be some truth to this. There was a lab in central Florida who were doing experiments on animals, it was called Yerkes Laboratory and it’s not longer in Florida. BUT back in the day they’re was all sorts of rumors and stories that would come out of there, one thing they did do was test medical treatments on chimps some of which went on to become medicines like blood pressure medicine, Heart attack medication, and weirdly ED medicine. Now a number of these chimps at times did escape and many MANY of the chimps were often covered in chemical burns or had hair loss do to medical testing, when these guys did escape people reported Ape men running loose in the swamp. So while there isn’t evidence they made a Humanzee there is evidence they conducted horrific medical experiments on chimps
Im pretty sure there's been a lot of Mad Scientists that tried to crossbreed humans with something else. Chimpanzee is the most sussy though because we are so genetically similar, even then I don't know if it would work. It would have to be 1 in a trillion odds. I also doubt they would terminate, they would definitely watch it grow and learn. Dont forget all the useful DNA research that would come from that, they could narrow down what is what, for more gene edit bs. Imagine a human with the strength of a Chimp but the cognitive and vocal abilities of a human. Sounds like Super Soldiers in tomorrow's war.
Thankfully, at some point in the evolutionary process the human genome shrank to 23 chromosome pairs, with the rest of the great apes retaining 24 pairs, protecting society at large from an otherwise inevitable humangutan uprising
chimps 48 chromosomes (24 pairs), human 46 (23 pairs), without accounting the genetic incompatibility, just by number difference, mitosis after insemination won't occur properly, since the two resultant cells would have different chromosome number
as a serious answer, no this didn't happen and can't happen, but it's theorized that humans and chimps can be surrogates for one another (ie implanting an embryo of one species into the womb of the other)
OneInternational984@reddit
Yes it is real. Normally human DNA is too distantly related to chimpanzees to cross-breed but they used a Brazilian donor.
poopcockshit@reddit
I thought the donor was from Mississippi??
piketpagi@reddit
aren't british are the most hairy ones?
idioscosmos@reddit
Have you met a turk or a Greek fellow?
advocatus_diabolii@reddit
Portuguese Women are famous for their lovely moustaches
hornwalker@reddit
-who_are_u-@reddit
Vem então irmão, bora falar sobre isso aí.
For all intents and purposes this is a lighthearted joke.
Advanced_Court501@reddit
sorry, don’t speak chimp
Dont_Touch_My_Nachos@reddit
Ooh ooh aah aah
Old_Ad_71@reddit
Not a Turkish one?
GruntBlender@reddit
You use those ones for canids.
Brilliant-Mountain57@reddit
Advanced racism
StolenDabloons@reddit
My favourite dish
ToumaKazusa1@reddit
Wait, the only source for this is The Sun?
I don't know a huge amount about British tabloids, but doesn't The Sun have a reputation for being just about the lowest quality journalism imaginable?
"Sun readers don't care who runs the country as long as she's got big tits"
Extension-Beyond5869@reddit
The Sun is named thusly because reading their magazines is like staring at the actual Sun. You go blind and get cancer.
2donuts4elephants@reddit
Putting aside the fact that it was The Sun, if such a hybrid were possible I'm sure it would have happened naturally at some point. Humans are gross. Someone out there would have fucked a chimpanzee because they were horny. I recognize that if it were a human male, the chimp would have had to be under anesthesia I still think it would have happened. Think of all the people who have tried to have sex with domesticated farm animals. Hell, in my small town there was an incident where a teenage boy got caught trying to fuck a horse.
MisterGoo@reddit
Dude, have you not seen that video of village where kids fuck donkeys?
MILFsatTacoBell@reddit
There was that chimp that was whored out decades ago in a brothel, and that's just what we know about. If humanzee could happen it would have already.
The question is can the embryo take without assistance.
ToumaKazusa1@reddit
Maybe, but I really just wanted an excuse to quote Yes, Minister
Practical_Trade4084@reddit
a very courageous decision
Space_Socialist@reddit
To put it simply if the Sun said the sky was blue I would go outside to double check.
Kaijufan1993@reddit
If you live in the UK the sky probably isn't blue most days anyway
itsthateasylol@reddit
Wulbren Bongle, is that you?
Ubermenschisch@reddit
Do your own research 👍
jd2000@reddit
To be fair with our weather you should always double check claims of a blue sky
Alfred_Leonhart@reddit
Maybe I should read the Sun because this is literally me. Let the woman with the largest breast run the country!!! Boobacracy for the win!!!
idioscosmos@reddit
Still better than Fox News. At least pg 3 has boobs.
69StinkFingaz420@reddit
Bat boy lives, fucko
TastyBerny@reddit
This explains Liz Truss becoming PM.
Tuarangi@reddit
Sun was a Murdoch brand, typically assumed to be right wing nonsense rag without the tongue in cheek nonsense of the Daily Star
memefarius@reddit
Is it at the same level as IGN at being garbage?
luujs@reddit
The Sun is by far the worst British tabloid. Absolute rubbish
sn4xchan@reddit
I remember getting the sun newspapers in the inland empire when I was a child. It was just a normal news company.
ToumaKazusa1@reddit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGscoaUWW2M
Like I said, I'm not very knowledgeable about British tabloids, but just based on this skit I don't get the impression that it is high quality news
sn4xchan@reddit
I'm pretty certain the newspaper I'm referring to was a different company than this pre onion tabloid
It had normal news in it my Grandma used to read it, and she was not a conspiracy theory or gossip type person.
Arthurmanercatsirman@reddit
A yes minister reference? In greentext?
ToumaKazusa1@reddit
I am shocked, shocked to find that referencing is going on in here
ChoiceFudge3662@reddit
I thought if you look at the sun you go blind, why would anyone willingly read anything written on it?
dadsuki2@reddit
They, like most British forms of press just straight up lie to fit the agenda of the rich twats that run it
Jade8560@reddit
if the sun say something it’s wise to assume the exact opposite until you can verify it through other means, the only use of the sun’s papers is as really shitty toilet paper
MisterGoo@reddit
That’s a lie: it wasn’t insemination.
TempleOSEnjoyer@reddit
It happened, that’s how OP was born.
Energetic-Old-God@reddit
TempleOs mentioned RIP terry
PrinceOfFish@reddit
TurdGerkin@reddit
Bababooey
Captain_Klrk@reddit
Bazinga
EverythingHurtsDan@reddit
Bulgaria
memefarius@reddit
BULGARIA MENTIONED!!! RAAAAHHHH
Dog_in_human_costume@reddit
/thread
Witty_Masterpiece463@reddit
Too old to be op, this is the story of his mother.
autistic_mongoose75@reddit
Cause no one likes ya monkey boy
jejbfokwbfb@reddit
So I’m Florida unfortunately, there may actually be some truth to this. There was a lab in central Florida who were doing experiments on animals, it was called Yerkes Laboratory and it’s not longer in Florida. BUT back in the day they’re was all sorts of rumors and stories that would come out of there, one thing they did do was test medical treatments on chimps some of which went on to become medicines like blood pressure medicine, Heart attack medication, and weirdly ED medicine. Now a number of these chimps at times did escape and many MANY of the chimps were often covered in chemical burns or had hair loss do to medical testing, when these guys did escape people reported Ape men running loose in the swamp. So while there isn’t evidence they made a Humanzee there is evidence they conducted horrific medical experiments on chimps
wordjedi@reddit
don't forget the joint CIA/NSA/MI5 black site in Alamogordo NM where they keep the weird mutant chimp-o-men for experiments until they die
That's why they invented F-117s there, to hunt down escaped mutant chimps without alarming the public
jejbfokwbfb@reddit
Ofcourse, except the F-117 was developed in Burbank California not New Mexico
No-Boysenberry-6685@reddit
This is actually really interesting
Infinite_Review8045@reddit
Yes this is how most of. My coworkers including me was born
XxTreeFiddyxX@reddit
Artificial Insemination or was your mother a Chimpanzee?
Infinite_Review8045@reddit
Your granddad and a big ass chimpanzee bred then i was born, the rest is herstory
XxTreeFiddyxX@reddit
Son, is that you?
YorkieBerlinz@reddit
Yes
penis_stuck_sendhelp@reddit
Didn't the Russians do this in the Cold War?
XxTreeFiddyxX@reddit
Im pretty sure there's been a lot of Mad Scientists that tried to crossbreed humans with something else. Chimpanzee is the most sussy though because we are so genetically similar, even then I don't know if it would work. It would have to be 1 in a trillion odds. I also doubt they would terminate, they would definitely watch it grow and learn. Dont forget all the useful DNA research that would come from that, they could narrow down what is what, for more gene edit bs. Imagine a human with the strength of a Chimp but the cognitive and vocal abilities of a human. Sounds like Super Soldiers in tomorrow's war.
the615Butcher@reddit
Yeah the most unbelievable part of the story is that the mad scientists had a moment of morality and decided to stop the experiment.
XxTreeFiddyxX@reddit
Exactly. A good scientist puts aside feelings of morality for science.
I_Suck_At_This_Too@reddit
An ape breed with a human? How disgusting!
the615Butcher@reddit
*discussing
DomSchraa@reddit
Anon believe what the onion writes
And we re talking about pre 2016 onion
Joelblaze@reddit
Tbh though, science in the late 1800s to mid 1900s was straight up lovecraftian horror sometimes.
It's plausible that it happened and it probably wouldn't even make the top 20 of most fucked up shit that scientists in the not so old days have done.
Old medical experiments are a dark and deep rabbit hole.
DomSchraa@reddit
The thing is it would very very very likely have never been conceived or died during pregnancy
Humans & apes share a common ancestor yes, but weve evolved separately for 6-8 million years
Our physiology is wildly different
The head for example, human babies have m a s s i v e heads - much bigger than apes, only one of many differentiating features
Then you get into immunology, where the body might kill off the cells, the more you learn about it the more fictitious the story sounds
wordjedi@reddit
I guess you've never met a mule then hee haw
I don't care if true, forget aliens humanzees are my favorite covert illuminati pseudoscience conspiracy thing. The REAL super soldier
bartholomewjohnson@reddit
I really, REALLY hope that was done via artificial insemination
Flashy_Narwhal9362@reddit
It was a hundred years ago, so they probably used the old fashioned method. You know some soft music, great wine and ripe bananas.
Creative_Low4924@reddit
/>they inseminated a female chimp />Florida
You just know this was a job for Florida Man.
Flashy_Narwhal9362@reddit
Twelve Florida men actually.
DeathsStarEclipse@reddit
Told the sun.... That's dead giveaway
sureyouknowurself@reddit
I think Reddit is proof the experiment not only succeeded but was rolled out globally.
TheChairHugger@reddit
Thankfully, at some point in the evolutionary process the human genome shrank to 23 chromosome pairs, with the rest of the great apes retaining 24 pairs, protecting society at large from an otherwise inevitable humangutan uprising
RegularlyClueless@reddit
Technically that wouldn't make interbreeding impossible, people with trisomy and quadrasomy exist
TheChairHugger@reddit
People with trisomy and quadrasomy still have 23 “pairs”
LadenifferJadaniston@reddit
They’re after our human ‘tang to be more like us
zqmbgn@reddit
chimps 48 chromosomes (24 pairs), human 46 (23 pairs), without accounting the genetic incompatibility, just by number difference, mitosis after insemination won't occur properly, since the two resultant cells would have different chromosome number
Nanocephalic@reddit
Evolution is science, and psychology is science, but evolutionary psychology is pseudoscience.
I don’t believe the story just based on that.
HayashiAkira_ch@reddit
Imma stop you there chief
BoilingHotCumshot@reddit
Really glad this didn't turn out to have a punchline involving black people. Knowing 4chan, it was 50/50.
Ozymandias_1303@reddit
I believe that guy wanted to fuck a chimpanzee. Did he actually succeed in getting one pregnant? I would say that's unlikely.
Laufreyja@reddit
as a serious answer, no this didn't happen and can't happen, but it's theorized that humans and chimps can be surrogates for one another (ie implanting an embryo of one species into the womb of the other)
def-jam@reddit
“Undisclosed donor”? Riiiiight. This didn’t happen but if it did, the scientist running the experiment IS the donor. No question about it.
xdoolittlex@reddit
He killed his own son!
ProblemEfficient6502@reddit
You don't need to tell me a human-chimpanzee hybrid was developed in Florida. That's just what Floridians are like.
pornhubforcomments@reddit
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliver_(chimpanzee)
CircleWithSprinkles@reddit
Karl, don't talk shite!
CircleWithSprinkles@reddit
Karl, play a record
Routine-Professor586@reddit
What are the chances that Joe Rogan is the OOP?
orangutanorgasming@reddit
I was interested until I saw The Sun
sekex@reddit
I know a few of them
Xgoodnewsevery1@reddit
If this were possible wouldn't any potential offspring be sterile themselves? Pretty sure ligers, mules, and other hybrids are sterile.
BobertRosserton@reddit
I live near orange park and lemme tell ya there’s no research labs lmao. Literally the ghetto of Jacksonville, but don’t let me ruin a good story
BluesBoys101@reddit
Bro went on record to tell the whole world he fucked an ape
Flatulentbass@reddit
It happens all the time. Why do you think we sell so many bananas?
RaiderCat_12@reddit
Wait, we don’t all use them as dildos?!
LadenifferJadaniston@reddit
We? Fuckin commie
Jumpy-Dentist6682@reddit
I haven't seen anything that has specifically disproven humanzees exist
kekistanmatt@reddit
So a guy told the news that another guy told him that a group of other people did this?
Yeah that sounds reliable
SpantasticFoonerism@reddit
humanzees nuts
JasoTheArtisan@reddit
I live in Orange Park. They barely have a functioning DMV I doubt they had a super lab 100 years ago
el_t0p0@reddit
sam10155@reddit
Of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most.
BadB0ii@reddit
Teenage humanzee would've made an awesome sitcom
XxTreeFiddyxX@reddit
We had Alf
_sephylon_@reddit
Already exists it's a manga called Darwin incident
BadB0ii@reddit
Ermm Darwin incident
🥴
👉👈
Neil_Ribsy@reddit
Stopped reading there.
Recent_Pirate@reddit
Wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to have been born in Florida.
Ok-Willingness742@reddit
Textbook case of big if true
DannyBright@reddit
No, it’s not true.
Cdog536@reddit
Half of this post is a redundant announcement that a humanzee was born…literally repeated 4 times
Emotional_Fruit_8735@reddit
If it was possible we'd see humanzees in Ukraine rn, governments have been experimenting with the idea since ww2
BadB0ii@reddit
You're taking one look at zelensky and putin and really telling me they're 100% human? Get real.
Emotional_Fruit_8735@reddit
Comfortable_Yak5184@reddit
The text is green.
So obviously this is true.
Flashy_Narwhal9362@reddit
“Inseminated”? That’s not how they did it a hundred years ago.
No-Section-4385@reddit
Anon knows what he needs to do..
For science.
Known-Ad-1556@reddit
Wake up bae, new transgressive horror just dropped
spam445@reddit
it did, just ask your mother