What is anon doing wrong?

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xpacean@reddit

45-year-old married dude here. If you’re as awkward as anon, OP, me, and everyone reading this, you’re much better off making friends, developing social skills, and when you inevitably start making female friends, asking out the ones you like after a nice conversation or two (and not too much longer, crushes are just as bad).

Going up to strangers and talking to them obviously works for some people, but if you’re not really charming and/or good-looking, it’s a total crapshoot both on how she’ll react and if you’re even remotely compatible, which, believe it or not, eventually becomes relevant in a romantic relationship.

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Positive_Action_5377@reddit

Dude, this IS anon trying to make a friend. I mean, really, how do you make friends without seeming like a maladjusted stranger who's being annoying?

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xpacean@reddit

I'm being direct as a kindness: you are so far off that I'm concerned for you. Unless you have direct and conclusive evidence that strangers appreciate you approaching them, do not approach anybody unless you have an actual connection. Saying "oh I just want to be friends" doesn't help. You don't know them. Why do you want to be friends with someone you've never spoken to? That will just freak them out.

If you're in school or a job or doing a hobby together you can talk about your connection there. If you don't have that kind of connection, don't approach the person.

If you don't have enough going on in your life to form the connective tissue to start making friends, then get more hobbies you're genuinely into that get you out of the house.

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Positive_Action_5377@reddit

Well that's the point. Why talk to someone while doing your hobby and such. There's no connection except you're are there and doing something. That's what everyone does all the time.

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xpacean@reddit

OK, best of luck then.

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xTraxis@reddit

But he's kind of not wrong - we get told not to approach women everywhere because they're busy living their own lives. Why would we approach someone who's trying to rock climb and bug them while they're climbing? Why would we walk up to someone reading in a library and sit down, interrupt their book, and start a conversation? When you hear "don't do this, don't do this, don't do this", every day, for every situation, it becomes a little disheartening as to what's actually acceptable.

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xpacean@reddit

Actually acceptable are natural conversations. If you don’t know what that is, that’s when you need more platonic friends and a greater ability to read the situation, which you’ll only get through experience.

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heckmeck_mz@reddit

Why would you want female platonic friends?

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xpacean@reddit

Is, uh, this a joke

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imnota_@reddit

Well depending on the hobby it's gonna be inevitable that you ask someone for help (ie I've done rock climbing and while idk the English name often time you need someone at the bottom handling the rope to keep it loose enough it's not pulling you, but tight enough it catches your fall. Common to help someone while they climb and have them help you when you climb, surely sparks a conversation)

Or have someone discuss about what you're doing/showing (ie someone at the library asking you if the book you're reading is interesting, whether you know others in the same genre, etc)

If you're out there you don't even necessarily need to make the first step as extroverts WILL start a conversation with people around them.

And if you do feel the need to start the conversations, make it related to the activity, just small talk, ask for help, advice, compliment on the achievement people do in your hobby, don't overthink it, worst case you seem like that guy that is a little weird but at least nice, better than the weirdo that goes to practice or show off his hobby but talks to nobody. And if they think you're weird, who the fuck are they ?

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xTraxis@reddit

I must have messed this one up along the way. I'm 29. My best friend is a girl. My longest friend, 25\~ years, is also a girl. I'm friends with half of their friends and I get along with the other half. In general, there's probably about 8-10 women my age who are comfortable and happy to be around me in my life right now.

Only 2 of them are single - one who I've been cautioned away from many times because she's spontaneous and wild and sometimes goes half way across the country for half a year, and the other who likes women. The other's are all in healthy relationships, and most I wouldn't date if they became single anyways, as we aren't compatible in many ways. So I have a ton of female friends, and I've still been single and celibate for 5 years. Making new friends is harder and harder and I also don't want to keep making friends that don't become relationships because I already have so many great friends and I really don't need more, I need a relationship.

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stillmahboi@reddit

78 year old, back in my day you just took a delicious little 16 year old by the hand, offered her parents a goat and a chicken and you got to take her back home in the ole pick up truck.

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RevolutionaryEmu589@reddit

18M just tried that, brb calling you back from the state penitentiary once I get a pass

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Dont_Touch_My_Nachos@reddit

What backwater shithole do you live in? I did it 3 weeks ago and even my local gypsy approved

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trustmebuddy@reddit

you’re much better off making friends, developing social skills

I agree, absolutely

when you inevitably start making female friends

One does not follow from the other; good luck to anyone who buys into this man's bullshit

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xpacean@reddit

Struggling to see why women wouldn’t want to be friends with you

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trustmebuddy@reddit

You wanna do ad hominems? Struggling to see why any woman would settle for you

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Higuruzin@reddit

Times have really changed. Nowdays all you would get is a post in any social media about how man feel entitle to a romantic relationship when all she wanted was a frendship and some whining about how all she wanted was a male friend but it happens that every fucker she meets ends up fucking up everything

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Ubermenschisch@reddit

Good on ya, mate!

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Wity_4d@reddit

This is absolutely the best advice, and I give it to all my awkward friends. Focus first on having a friend group based around hobbies. If you want to meet a diverse group of friends, you may need to choose a hobby that may not be your absolute favorite, but has broader appeal. Spend time making friends there w people of all sexes, races, creeds, and religions. Eventually you'll find that you'll like like someone n they like like you back n from there...hey we've all heard Check Yes or No.

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avagrantthought@reddit

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WintersbaneGDX@reddit

40-year-old, this advice works.

I met the woman I'm seeing now at my best friend's baby shower. We were both guests, we talked a little bit and bonded over a shared food allergy. I offered to drive her home since she lived near me and would have to take a bus otherwise. Got her number, texted her a few days later, set up a date, and went from there.

Dating apps are unmitigated horse shit. Establish a social circle of friends, and then look within their broader circles. Ideally, someone who is more of an acquaintance, a friend of a friend. If you've got that mutual friend who can vet you, so much the better.

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40somethingCatLady@reddit

Never ever EVER make eye contact with guys.

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thr33beggars@reddit

“Excuse me, ma’am? I couldn’t help but notice you were looking at me and thought I should come say hello.

Oh, what’s that? Yes, the smell of shit is coming from me. I don’t believe in wiping. I prefer to let the layers cake on, and then peel them off my asshole as one peels an onion. I then keep the flakes in a shoebox in my closet.

And yes, I see your eyes wandering below my belt. I assure you, that wet spot is not piss. Having made eye contact with you, I started leaking precum like a broken faucet. In fact, my whole groin area is moderately wet most of the time, be it from precum, diarrhea, or yes even sometimes it is piss.

Anyways, I was hoping you would accompany me to my parent’s basement to watch a movie I made. It is a tasteful reimagining of my conception, but instead of my parents, I played the part of my dad and the family cat played the part of my mom. I think the plot is a bit weak but you can’t deny the production value.

Anyways, this conversation has been wonderful but I’m actually not allowed within 500 feet of a school so I’ll see you later outside of room.”

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xTraxis@reddit

"Top 1% commenter" Oh yeah he fuckin' is.

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BhataktiAtma@reddit

https://i.redd.it/8xlpqfqs1y3f1.gif

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Ace_of_Razgriz_77@reddit

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Ace_of_Razgriz_77@reddit

https://i.redd.it/kvpoqkcoau3f1.gif

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I_am_Reptoid_King@reddit

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SmaugRancor@reddit

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punkate@reddit

You have won Internet for today with this masterpiece.

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approaches the girls who was eyeballing me from afar

uhh… umm… hehe… so… vomits profusely sorry… I… audibly sharts sorry… er… you c… you c… come here oft- vomits again uhh… slips, now covered in vomit you watch anime?

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jvken@reddit

Wallowing in his shame I guess. Just walk it off it was a mildly embarrassing interaction, you’ll get em next time

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Unlikely-Cap8721@reddit

Anon should leave this planet