How can you realistically end up like this?

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Limp_Donut5337@reddit

The first job is always terrifying I remember that feeling still.

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Nukafit@reddit

This guy has had 40 years to prepare for that feeling it should be terrifying for him not to have a job right now

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Plenty_Tax_5892@reddit

Executive Dysfunction hits different, doesn't it?

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Offbeatalchemy@reddit

My executive dysfuntional ass has been working since 19, including while i was in college.

This is what actual laziness looks like.

[-]

pw disorders are prone to the mistake of thinking their level of disability is the benchmark of the disorder, and forgetting they are simply lucky their dysfunction is not as severe as it can get. if you have the capacity to work yours is not even close to the worst possible case.

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Offbeatalchemy@reddit

I'm not saying that it is. I know people have it worse than me.

But if bro can get on 4chan to ask for advice and doesn't have an easier out than "get a job", I'm suspecting It can't be that bad.

If OP was a 20 something, sure. but you can't be nearly 40 and in this predicament without some sort of diagnosis. Because I'm sure he would have thought of getting on disability if he was too disabled to work.

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Crunkario@reddit

Can you go on disability with like high level executive function issues? Like autism or ADHD that is pretty severe? I really struggle to hold down a job for long and that would help me beyond greatly

[-]

Benaholicguy@reddit

It would take an absurd amount of ADHD or Autism to not be able to find a job that could at least pay your basic bills. Many retail jobs can be done with a 70+ IQ.

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MrEuphonium@reddit

Retail can pay basic bills? Where I live rent is 1000, but jobs only pay 12-13 an hour, which at 40 hours a week, is only 2000 bucks a month BEFORE taxes.

So that leaves you what, 800 bucks or so to live, eat, pay for a car, pay for insurance, and maybe just maybe entertainment of any sort?

And then don’t get sick.

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Benaholicguy@reddit

Everything depends on where you live. Rent in my city can be $550 with roommate(s) for solid spaces, and retail/service pays closer to $15-17 despite our federal minimum wage of $7.25.

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b0b89@reddit

You could if you could do the paperwork or get to the doctor's appointments

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CplOreos@reddit

Potentially for either or both... it just depends, you have to apply and make a good case (with evidence) to the SSA.

[-]

warablo@reddit

You have to get turned down multiple times, by then insurance runs out and you lost all your evidence

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Crunkario@reddit

Thanks, I am unsure why I was downvoted (I have tried to hold down jobs I just struggle really hard)

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OmarsDamnSpoon@reddit

Getting on 4chan is far easier than going out to get a job. Come on, take the hate goggles off and fucking think.

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Xalethesniper@reddit

I mean surely if it’s that bad and it’s not his fault he can at least claim disability instead of fully leeching off his parents right?

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Letters_to_Dionysus@reddit

in a civilized country, yeah, but here we despise the weak and make them suffer more than necessary.

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Sbotkin@reddit

You are not executive dysfunctional then.

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stupidfritz@reddit

Honestly, get the fuck over it.

[-]

Ichmag11@reddit

Hey, let's not talk about my erectile dysfunction on Reddit

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HollowPoint-45@reddit

Little lysdexic, huh? /j (maybe?)

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Headmuck@reddit

He had 40 years to let that fear build up and attempt to shelter himself from any negative emotion.

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Agrezz@reddit

I mean it probably shows itself differently in some people but in my experience it’s mostly troubles in everyday life like doing dishes, cleaning or remembering appointments. Not full on living with parents till 40

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Loonyclown@reddit

Yeah I’ve got ADHD, pretty mild but still enough that my therapist has talked to me about executive dysfunction, and for me it’s just an unwillingness or inability to do ANYTHING including the things I find fun- so I just end up on my bed or my phone or watching tv, something extremely passive. Eventually your survival instincts do beat out your mental health issues and you get up to go find food. This guy would be a medical marvel if he’s experienced continuous and debilitating executive dysfunction for 40 years, like there’d be a disease named after him.

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Maximus_Robus@reddit

His parents also did a pretty job in the last 40 years. If your kid still lives at home with no job or education you have no one but yourself to blame.

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tigertoken1@reddit

God?

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MrInfinity-42@reddit

The first-first job is whatever. Retail, food, any teenager can do that.

The first "real" job is insanely terrifying. The masquerade that goes into setting up your LinkedIn profile and networking just to have a chance to get invited for the first if 3 interviews is insane. Going through it right now and seeing people much more qualified than me being unemployed/freelance on LinkedIn is depressing

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Xgoodnewsevery1@reddit

Lol I remember having my major picked out, college acceptance, few weeks left before heading out to college I was chatting with a co worker, I worked in electronics and they had been out of the college I was going to, with the same degree and had been working for 10 years at Walmart trying to find a job in the field. I still went and all that but I had the worst sinking pit feeling in my stomach over it.

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MrInfinity-42@reddit

Now imagine what it feels like being unable to attend a college...

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Xgoodnewsevery1@reddit

Idk I paid for all of my own loans without any cosigners, did all of my applications at my high school and chose to go to a state college. America is a huge place and I recognize things change drastically state to state but I feel with the high school education I received it was extremely easy and accessible to attend college. Though one thing I recommend to people who are suffering from some disorders to check out other possible diagnoses if possible. I was diagnosed with panic disorders and anxiety disorders as a young child, was even prescribed some pretty hard drugs for it, it wasn't until I was in my late 20s when during two simultaneous attacks over 3 days that I lost consciousness did I get checked over by a neurologist and it was determined I am actually EPILEPTIC. after receiving medication for epilepsy I have been panic attack free for 3 years. I never would have guessed that some seizures can happen while you are conscious.

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MrEuphonium@reddit

It sounds like you’re older than a lot of us are, it’s a bit different now applying for colleges and paying the tuition.

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Xgoodnewsevery1@reddit

Probably a bit different, I graduated high school in 2009 and while I don't work in the field I went to college for I've been able to utilize the skills from it in the field I do work. My tuition was 18k a year.

[-]

jangxx@reddit

qualification != actual skill though

That's one thing I learned pretty quickly when getting my first real job. A lot of people are just winging it and have barely any idea of what they're doing. If you're just slightly competent, you can easily get by.

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MrInfinity-42@reddit

Unfortunately it's difficult to become competent without a full-time position to practice my skills

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bell37@reddit

The “experience” requirement for entry level positions is HR related (9/10 because the applicant pool is too large). Finding a direct position (without networking) is pretty difficult these days. An easier way to get the experience is to look out for contract/temp positions from staffing agencies (where the demand is higher to get people working ASAP).

You work on a contract, get experience with tools and processes in your field and then BOOM, now you have industry experience by the time your 6-12 month contract comes to a close.

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Loonyclown@reddit

I second this, my first two jobs were contract and the second one turned full-time in less than a year (on an 18 month contract)

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KlimCan@reddit

As long as you can improve as you go, most places don’t care. I went into my current job very under qualified with older, better-educated people in my role. I manage a few of them now a couple years later.

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Objective-Bet-8253@reddit

This is aptitude and learning rate though, which is teachable to a limit.

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demonotreme@reddit

Hard disagree.

A literal monkey could've done my first job, if it wore a nappy or something to keep it from throwing shit on the walls. Still stressful as hell to get and to do for the first weeks.

First 'real' job (by your standard), it's just "huh...that's it" and gradually sinking in that it's not going to begin in earnest in the future, you've been doing it already.

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bell37@reddit

Qualified how? If you are being interviewed for entry level (and get past the HR “qualifications wall”) then the only thing that would put someone above you is experience.

If someone has a higher degree, that doesn’t necessarily mean they are more qualified. I’d take someone who’s had internship/coop experience in the same field/company than someone with a masters or PhD. If anything someone who is overqualified or has too much experience screams either “There’s a strong chance that I will be a difficult person to work with or I will get bored with this position and am only using this position to springboard into a different one”.

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Round-Ad8762@reddit

nuke capitalism

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stop_talking_you@reddit

knowledge about a skill (we need 8 years of experience) is better then having 3 diploma and bachelors with 0 knowledge. this rule doesnt apply to some extreme specific jobs that do some research or whatever just like real labour

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infernys20@reddit

*than

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stop_talking_you@reddit

thenks

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W4lrasLaw@reddit

I cried like a baby when I didn’t pass the trial period of my first job. I was not ready for the workforce right out of uni

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DickHydra@reddit

What did you do instead?

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W4lrasLaw@reddit

Took some time to wallow in self pity, but then understood that data mining and coding just wasn’t my thing.

Pivoted to a different field. But it took advise from friends and family to do so, or else I probably would have just tried to do the same thing.

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mrlunes@reddit

I was actually super excited to get a job because it meant I could be independent and my mom could no longer control every aspect of my life. Got my first job at 14

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McENEN@reddit

But the first pay check and you being able to buy stuff for yourself is so liberating

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AutopsyDrama@reddit

Yea thats true but your first job shouldn't be at age 38 after your parents have to kick you out to get you moving in life.

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FourKrusties@reddit

my parents never bought me shit, I was begging to get a job so I could buy clothes that weren't from wal-mart

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DiegesisThesis@reddit

Nothing hits like that first paycheck though. I remember being a teen looking at that check for a couple hundred dollars. Felt like JD Rockefeller.

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angelis0236@reddit

I wasn't terrified, I was stoked. It's the subsequent jobs that were terrifying for me.

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iSeize@reddit

I wonder if they still wipe his bum after a poopie

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DiarrheaMentor@reddit

Absolutely. Here’s a darker, funnier version of the NEET + IBS greentext:

be me 32-year-old NEET haven’t felt sunlight since Obama was president body is 80% instant ramen and shame IBS so bad I have PTSD from sneezing decide to get life together because mom threatened to cancel Wi-Fi apply for first job at Walmart they actually want to interview me panic.exe start rehearsing normal human behavior day of interview stomach already making noises like a Lovecraftian beast clench like my life depends on it spoiler: it does get to Walmart, manager gives me firm handshake tension activates doomsday protocol tiny fart slips out, think I’m safe wrong wasn’t a fart pants now contain cursed fluid try to play it cool sweating, smiling, praying he’s noseblind sit down for interview liquid betrayal seeps onto plastic chair manager looks at me like I just drowned a puppy “Are you… okay?” “Yes.” voice cracks like dry spaghetti get escorted out by security leave a trail like a dying sea creature mom asks how it went tell her I nailed it Wi-Fi still gets cut mfw I shit myself out of the job market mfw I’m a 32-year-old NEET with a killstreak on dignity

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DiarrheaMentor@reddit

be me 32-year-old NEET haven’t felt sunlight since Obama was president body is 80% instant ramen and shame IBS so bad I have PTSD from sneezing decide to get life together because mom threatened to cancel Wi-Fi apply for job at Walmart they actually want to interview me panic.exe start rehearsing normal human behavior day of interview stomach already making noises like a Lovecraftian beast clench like my life depends on it spoiler: it does get to Walmart, manager gives me firm handshake tension activates doomsday protocol tiny fart slips out, think I’m safe wrong wasn’t a fart pants now contain cursed fluid try to play it cool sweating, smiling, praying he’s noseblind sit down for interview liquid betrayal seeps onto plastic chair manager looks at me like I just drowned a puppy “Are you… okay?” “Yes.” voice cracks like dry spaghetti get escorted out by security leave a trail like a dying sea creature mom asks how it went tell her I nailed it Wi-Fi still gets cut mfw I shit myself out of the job market mfw I’m a 32-year-old NEET with a killstreak on dignity

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sleepingjiva@reddit

Me too, but I was 14

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gunscreeper@reddit

I was really excited on my first day of job rather than terrified

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RedditIsDeadMoveOn@reddit

Suicide shouldn't be taboo if people expect to be able to create a life without the consent of the unborn child and also expect to kick them out and force them to wage slave to pay ever increasing living expenses.

You want a kid? Take care of them. Anons parents are deadbeats.

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fortinbras_420@reddit

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TheBlueEmerald1@reddit

I really wanna call this fake but man I know so many people are like this, mooching ofd their parents for decades and then sounding confused when its time for them to actually fo something.

And you know what? They are right to be confused. What kind of parent does this for so long only to end it now?

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DragonfruitSudden339@reddit

My friend is 22, same age as me.

I lived with my parents till 21, but i had a job, was psying rent, bought my own car and phone.

He went out, lived on his own for like 6 months at 20/21, quit his job because being an extremely well paid welder apprently sucked because it got hot (how the fuck did you not forsee this when going to trade school?), went to McDonalds, became a manager, quit because it was"too hard" and now has been "looking for a job" for about 8 months or so living in his brother's basement, pirsting games left and right, and maxing out several credit cards.

Bruh

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buffinator2@reddit

I don't know about 38 years old but I know of multiple families where the child is still living at home after college. Those kids don't even want to get drivers licenses so they have to rely on friends or family just to get to work on the days they feel like working.

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Xonarag@reddit

I'm still in my 20s but I'm very much planning to continue living with my parents. I work and pay rent and in a few years when we inherit my grandparents house we plan to renovate it together and live there together with me taking on half the debt. I don't really plan on getting in a relationship so that's not a problem and getting a house I actually want to live in is way too expensive. I'm really just saving a whole lot of money and living with people I love.

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kaizenmonty@reddit

Had the same setup. It fell through and now I'm stuck in my hometown that I only stayed in for the family property. Keep saving, and know of a backup.

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Xonarag@reddit

Ehh I'm planning to stay in my hometown either way so it's not like I'm giving up anything.

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OuterWildsVentures@reddit

Honestly with the economy the way it is I feel like the USA is about to start living more like other countries where families all live in the same house their whole lives.

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mylvee1@reddit

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be doing this. I have a stable job and all that but I don't think I could ever afford rent. I'm fine living with my family since they're pretty cool and we have our house paid off already

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JustDontBeFat_GodDam@reddit

That’s the real reason these countries have their adult kids living with them. Its not culture lol, it’s just how expensive housing is. Culture is a cope excuse.

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Battousaii@reddit

This happens already but yea it's gonna turn into this with apartments.

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ABHOR_pod@reddit

Parent L
Child L

But some McDonald's is about to get themselves a very mid fry cook, and some 22 year old is about to get themselves a very useless roommate.

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ComNguoi@reddit

I don't understand the reference of the latter part. Wdym?

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staxringold@reddit

No reference, I think. Just that if the guy is gonna move out suddenly and on a McD's paycheck, he'll presumably need a roommate. But he's a middle aged man who has mooched off his parents his whole life, so is unlikely to do the basic things necessary to keep up a house (since he's never done them) so will presumably be a shit roommate.

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cepukon@reddit

And some young female coworker is going to have one hell of an HR issue.

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Saraq_the_noob@reddit

And by young, 16

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DeliriumRostelo@reddit

Yeah if you get to 38 like that its on the parents if they don't try their hardest to at least set you up

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Guillaume-Francois@reddit

Nah, I've known multiple guys like this.

I don't know how to fix them, but I know that with all of them that their parents failed them really badly; typically abusive, negligent and often with a weird, toxic dynamic (think something like empty nest syndrome on steroids, only they never let the nest empty). The end result is an adult who can't function as an adult without a lot of help.

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suppre55ion@reddit

In my experience, it wasn’t abuse at all, but passive parenting.

There wasn’t anything wrong with them, but every story is exactly the same…

Turns of age to get a job, doesn’t want to, parents don’t want to push them until they’re ready.

Maybe they get their license, maybe not. Again, no urgency, no push to do it.

They go to college for some dumb shit degree that has no real job opportunities unless you are proactive - no correcting or guiding them. Hands off. Heres the money!

Post college…no job, of course. Maybe they wind up getting jobs here and then, but never stays because why would they? They have their room and dont have to pay. Mom and pop cover all their expenses, theres no urgency or drive to move forward. Because from an early age, their parents never actively took a role in pushing them, and thus they never developed a drive to do it themselves.

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Guillaume-Francois@reddit

The kind of guys I know like this all did not so much as graduate high school, let alone go to college for a degree, even a useless one. I'm talking like abuse cases that basically just shut down and retreated into escapism after more or less giving up on life entirely, a counterproductive coping mechanism that was facilitated by parents that kept them around to fill some equally damaged emotional need of their own.

You don't have the kind of upbringing that allows you to pursue post-secondary education (both in the financial sense and possessing the required resilience) and have nothing going for you.

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pylorih@reddit

That is wild and extremely depressing to think about.

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Guillaume-Francois@reddit

It really is. It's been my experience that these guys are generally victims of their parents, who are themselves victims of something (quite often also their parents).

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Fickle_Sherbert1453@reddit

Bait would normally be something upsetting, wouldn't it? Not just some guy talking about his problems.

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luujs@reddit

It’s 4Chan so it could very easily be real

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ComicBookFanatic97@reddit

It’s not necessarily bait. I know a guy in his 30s who lives with his mother, has to be chauffeured around by her because he doesn’t drive, is morbidly obese, and only just recently got a job after years of collecting NEET-bucks.

These people exist and they exist because their parents wait way too long to force them to take responsibility for their own lives.

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TheHelpfulFawn@reddit

lol at least find a fucking job at McDonald’s or something. OP is objectively a loser in life he just stays at home and rots. And his parents are enablers for letting do so for so long

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captain_tai@reddit

I kinda really fucked up in America they kick they own son/daughter from home and be homeless,

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Cosmic_Traveler@reddit

OP’s response

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whalemix@reddit

Honest advice: Join the military. They’ll feed you, house you, pay you, and teach you to be a somewhat competent human being. If the alternative is being a homeless waste of space, then the military is a good option

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GamingGems@reddit

Isn’t the age of enlistment deadline like 33 or something?

Yes, I agree anon should have gone military early on. But if he’s living for free in his parent’s basement and never bothered to get a job just to at least try to land some pussy then it’s a lost cause.

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JJWentMMA@reddit

I often say that military right after high school is such a logical step.

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GamingGems@reddit

I’m always disgusted by those parents to kick their children out on the streets for being gay or trans. But if I had a 38 year old man child like this I would have the same reaction and I’m confused about whether this makes me a hypocrite.

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Mesarthim1349@reddit

Probably fake, but in real cases like this part of the failure is on the parents.

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TadBones@reddit

Not necessarily. Schools and peers could lead to this as well. Though the fact they're kicking him out instead of getting him therapy is on em.

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TraumaPerformer@reddit

True, I was picrel til 21.

21 years of being screamed at, about how useless and worthless I will always be, any time I made a slight mistake or had the wrong facial expression.

If I had a proper upbringing, god knows where I’d be now. I have lots of talents that never got used, and even despite recovery and building a semi normal life, at 32 I just can’t seem to get started on anything. And I often get paralysed by the feeling that it’s too late now.

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Loonyclown@reddit

It’s never too late. 32 is still extremely young in the grand scheme of things.

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Filter55@reddit

I am the only one of my siblings to have not only moved out, but learned to drive, got a job, etc. cases like OP definitely exist, and it’s absolutely the parents fault.

My mom and dad had a minor breakdown given that my siblings are in their 30s and they have no idea what to do anymore. I told them straight up to charge rent and make these dudes contribute to the house or start taking things away.

Last week i checked in and asked about how “the talk” went. Want to take a wild guess as to how that went down?

”oh, they both promised to definitely take college courses next semester”

Because obviously 10+ years, zero expenses, and all the free time on the planet wasn’t enough time to get an associates by now.

/blog

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iameveryoneelse@reddit

100%

I tell my kids all the time that we don't parent because it's fun, we parent because when we decided to have kids part of the job we signed up for is making sure that they become successful adults. If your kid is 18+ and still knows fuck all about how to survive in the world it's because you were more focused on raising kids in the easiest way possible instead of focusing on doing the fucking job.

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Thisisjimmi@reddit

Our son was floundering and not caring and now he's in the military.

I should him a bird nest one day and it has a mom and a dad in it... I asked him how many grown ass birds lived in it and he said 2, 6 months later he was shipping out. He's 20 and flunked college after a year and a half.

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sassystardragon@reddit

Useless AI based day trader kicks child out ASAP cause he can't afford to support his family posting on reddit everyday and shorting stocks. Frames it as a life lesson, many such cases.

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Thisisjimmi@reddit

Hey i found the pink haired dog walker guys!

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PairsOfSunglasses@reddit

T3 Asmongold sub larping as a father while spending all day posting on reddit about AI trading

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Thisisjimmi@reddit

You guys can all band together with your inability to succeed. It's okay.

I can already tell by the Gary's mods that your mom's very proud of you.

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JuanHernandes89@reddit

Garry's mod mentioned

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PairsOfSunglasses@reddit

I'm not worried about the metrics of success of a reddit mod, thanks lol

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Thisisjimmi@reddit

K

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DomSchraa@reddit

Real

My ass never struggled that insanely, but my parents made it v e r y clear that if i dont get a job within a year after finishing service id be taking the first available one at say mcdonalds, and continue searching thankfully found one within 5

[-]

FullTimeHarlot@reddit

Yeah my parents were really good to me after I dropped out of Uni halfway through. They paid the rest of my rent I owed when up there and let me move back in at 19. The only conditions were 1. I had to sign on to job seekers allowance, 2. I had to be actively looking for a job (which I was made to do anyway after singing on) and 3. pay them back in small increments for said rent they paid for me once I got a job. I ended up getting an apprenticeship about 4-5 months after I moved back in and the rest is history. Solid people.

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CIMARUTA@reddit

Yeah if anon has some sort of mental problem their parents should have addressed that shit a long time ago

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destroyerOfTards@reddit

Unfortunately anon was very well regarded so nobody thought there could be problems

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FeeblyBee@reddit

Why are all the normies claiming this is bait, lmao. There are millions of people like this

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pornhubforcomments@reddit

Then those millions were supposed to be abortions. In that their parents had no business raising a child.

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Sbotkin@reddit

Because they are normies.

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rokomotto@reddit

Why are there normies in my racism subreddit

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pornhubforcomments@reddit

Serious question - were people like this supposed to be aborted? Like if you're literally unable to interact with life were you supposed to be here?

[-]

Hammose@reddit

The bad thing is, since he hasn't had a job in his entire life, he would be lucky to get hired to a minimum wage job, and there is no way in hell he'd be able to afford his own place on a minimum wage job. Dude is cooked.

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PM_ME_DNA@reddit

This was me until 26I had part time work when I was 22-23. But I graduated with a degree and no one was hiring. I feel I could have been this guy if I weren’t as lucky.

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No-Care6414@reddit

How can you realistically end up like this

Neglectful parents never teach their kids how to be independent

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Figoos@reddit

38 is young!

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dabiboiproductions@reddit

I'll probably end up like this because I am a loser

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TrumpDesWillens@reddit

Anon should get a construction job. Construction takes anyone who can move their bodies and does not require experience. Construction is the only industry where someone can dissappear for 3 months without notification and come back to the job (they were in jail for the last 3 months.)

Men with no experience can go into construction and women with no experience can go into sex-work.

[-]

Rare_Accident9241@reddit

is there a keyword that an entry level person would search besides “entry level” ie is it called journeyman or something

[-]

Bogiking@reddit

Just ignore is just the a phase, like there is a step, i live with my parents and i have been working for 5 years and i help them pay the bills, not guess what they still want to kick me, they want me to find a wife and move out guess what, they will demand a kid next and so on

[-]

WashYourEyesTwice@reddit

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your_stepfather-@reddit

Hey, I’ve seen this one! (pointing)

[-]

LordFocus@reddit

People are calling this fake but this was my brother until recently.

I love him so much but he is in his early 30’s and it literally took my parents getting a divorced AND the fear of losing the house if he couldn’t help pay rent for him to get a job.

This isn’t excusing the behavior, just stating that parental neglect for correcting behaviors and perhaps a part of undiagnosed mental health issues can very easily snowball. Even to the point where the very idea of getting job can seem impossible.

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SigmaBattalion@reddit

I believe it.

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Jorbo1619@reddit

It's a shame there are little to no social security services in the USA to help people overcome their barriers to employment and to help them get the basic skills needed to get a basic a job.

People like this need support to overcome their personal issues and to become productive members of society.

I wish Anon all the best, and I have my fingers crossed for them.

[-]

FrankFarter69420@reddit

Sounds like my parents. I had a job and went my own way, but my brother is 18 years younger than me and is still living at home, no job, no skills. My mom will eventually get tired of having him around and will kick him out. After enabling him and providing him with zero skills. It's insane how these parents can fuck their kids up and then just wash their hands of it.

[-]

RocktamusPrim3@reddit

I’m in a similar boat as you. Were your parents insanely hard on you but over-coddling to your brother too?

Do your parents ever tell you they’re proud of you? Despite having a double major degree, my own home, multiple paid off vehicles, and a happy marriage, they never tell me they’re proud of me.

Hell, I had to pay them rent when I was down on my luck after college and yet he’s been living in their basement rent free.

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FrankFarter69420@reddit

No, unfortunately they did the same for me. I've made a small life for myself, but largely it's been a struggle as hard work and being a go-getter aren't intrinsic to who I am. I did make a career for myself and excelled. I don't make much money though and it's not easy to get by. I blame my parents for my life, and it's doubly infuriating to see my kid brother have it so much worse. They pulled him out of high school-- he won't even have a GED. My mom is having a midlife crisis and isn't really available to parent him bc she's so old. Step-dad is checked out completely. I worry for my brother. He may become dependant on on others to exist.

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RocktamusPrim3@reddit

I legitimately worry about the same thing…almost to the point of worrying there’s going to come a day where my parents unironically ask me if my brother can move in with me and they’ll pay me rent.

I definitely understand the checked out parents too. What did your parents do though to ruin both your and your brother’s life?

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FrankFarter69420@reddit

Just non parenting. No marketable skills, no social skills. Kids don't need to be forced to do anything. Kids will teach themselves and find their own way. I thought this was fine until I went off into the real world and saw how my peers who was better parents were much better at being adaptable and resourceful, hardworking etc.

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chan___kun@reddit

Take 5 dollars, buy a bullet and rent a gun

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Doo-Doo-G@reddit

That’s just sad if it’s actually real

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BasedBalkaner@reddit

I'm actually in the exact same situation, except I'm not that old

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cell689@reddit

16 years old

never worked a job in my life

"Is it over /b/ros?

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thenightofni291@reddit

Censor the J-word next time pls. Its really lazyphobic to just throw it around like it means nothing 😢

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rokomotto@reddit

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cepukon@reddit

"*a non parent funded chore"

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Xalethesniper@reddit

As long as you are doing something to actively improve your situation then it’s not as bad

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Bazzyboss@reddit

Understandable if you're job hunting out of college or something but otherwise just go become a grease monkey in a fast food restaurant. I am the dumbest person alive and regularly fucked up at my job and it went fine at two different fast food jobs. They'll usually take anyone with a pulse who shows up on time.

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indiefolkfan@reddit

Seriously, the requirements for most entry level jobs are "show up on time and don't do anything illegal at work". It's not that hard.

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Darth-Gayder13@reddit

Plus I notice people tend to underestimate the importance of having job experience.

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Malice0801@reddit

Being 37 isn't that much better

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RocktamusPrim3@reddit

This sounds like a glimpse into my younger brother’s future except that my parents would never kick him out of their basement. I don’t fully understand why he is like this…but at the same time I do.

I graduated college with a double major, he dropped out after the first semester of his freshman year taking online classes almost a decade ago now, and has zero interest in even trying again. My mom even told me at my college graduation that she was disappointed in me for not immediately going for a Master’s and was also disappointed because I didn’t graduate college with honors. She makes all the excuses in the world for my brother about why it was okay for him to drop out of college though (she flunked out of college in the 80s and never got a bachelor’s either).

When I was down and restarting my career, I had to pay rent to my parents. My younger brother has been living in their basement rent free for years. They always punished me far more disproportionately than the slaps on the wrist they gave my brother. They also wonder why I rarely spend time with them now that I have a career, own my own home, own multiple paid off vehicles, and am happily married….all things my younger siblings don’t have…and yet my parents never tell me they’re proud of me.

I think though that bottom line, my parents realized a long time ago how hard they were on me, and had seen that even before age 18 how far they had irreparably pushed me away, so they decided to over coddle my younger brother…and now he’s going to be living in their basement well into his 40s.

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Solid-Ad6854@reddit

gif

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Picone-_-@reddit

😨😨😨NOT A J- J- J- JOB!

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Pep-Sanchez@reddit

Know someone who smoked all through hs dropped out of college and still lives at home even moved with parents. He’s in his mid 30s. Stays home smokes pot all day doesn’t really go places for more than a couple days cuz he would rather smoke pot and gets anxiety when away from home for too long. Can’t hold a job because the long term day to day is so daunting he’d rather kill himself he says. Been to therapy and medical facilities for people that want to hurt themselves.

I like weed too but I have to imagine the amount he smoked at a young age fucked with the motivation center of his brain

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Panichord@reddit

I've also known a couple of people who were NEETs from leaving school all the way to late 20s / early 30s and the common thread is they were smoking weed every day. Like I'm not some elderly lady who thinks weed is the devil but there are clear negatives that don't get discussed much.

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Pep-Sanchez@reddit

When did they start? I think this is common knowledge but a lot of people act like it’s NBD, just don’t smoke until your 21 cuz I started in highschool too but wasn’t that into it then and can hold a job now. I fear if I smoked more when my brain was developing tho it would be different.

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Round-Ad8762@reddit

Funnily enough I was completely clean when I moved out of the house at 19 (HS in my country ends at 19). It was my job that made me an alcoholic.

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caribbean_caramel@reddit

Work out and try to join the military I guess

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TimeGlitches@reddit

Bad parenting.

Parents should have forced him to get a job much sooner, but actually supported him in his early adulthood so he could get used to the horrors of the world. This is coddling into cold turkey "GO GET OUT NOW" which will inevitably lead to anon failing because nobody can just rawdog the real world and not end up homeless.

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BenjiTheChosen1@reddit

Might be fake but still, living with your parents in today’s economy is not a bad move but that doesn’t mean you can be a leech, at least get a part time job and helps pay for some bills or groceries

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dandadone_with_life@reddit

bro, i was 20 with no degree, a ~2 year gap after high school where i did nothing but eat, sleep, and game, no achievements, and almost no job experience (worked part time as a receptionist for 6 months when iwas 17) and i STILL got a job. it is genuinely not that hard, you just have to spam job applications (which sucks ass, i literally applied to 100+) but you WILL get a job

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LucyTheOracle@reddit

literally me rn, can't find a job and it's been two years since i dropped out of my 1st year in college. and i am looking😂😂 life is a joke for some of us fr

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dandadone_with_life@reddit

it really is. i genuinely spent almost every waking moment sick to my stomach during the 6+ months i spent looking for a job. i was so close to just straight up being homeless. i had $0.70 in my bank account when i got the call saying i was hired 😭

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LucyTheOracle@reddit

ngl when it was bad i was suicidal every night lol now i'm just kind of desensitized since im set on moving out to a bigger city with younger population (which i probably should do earlier but i hate changes) and 2/3 of my pay wil be on rent sigh but it;s eaither this or another neet years which will be harder to explain on job interviews. i hope i also will get out this shitty jobless life like you did (tho in my case i still live with my mom, but its kinda complicated since my grandparents pay the bills and when they r dead idk whats gonna happen to us lol) rry for bitching so much but literally people dont get how insane and pathetic it is to be jobless for this long, i knew i would get a shitty job sooner or later but not having any job for this long?? not in my wildest dreams

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dandadone_with_life@reddit

nah, dont even stress, bro. only reason i'm doing well is because i live with my grandma and am taking care of her. running errands, taking her to the hospital, cooking, cleaning, etc. i still pay for rent and groceries, but much less than rent in my area (plus i love my grandma so i dont mind). and yeah, i was absolutely suicidal for a while but the desensitization is so so real, and the job helped a ton for sure. incredible how much a steady income can improve your outlook on life. i'm not getting paid EXTRAORDINARILY well, but with the reduced rent it's definitely enough and i'm even saving some money for later. you'll get through it bro. took me like 2 years to feel emotionally stable again, but i do. you will too

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GamingSin@reddit

gif

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Fickle_Sherbert1453@reddit

Isn't bait normally supposed to be something that will make people angry?

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c0horst@reddit

I have a couple of cousins kind of like that, so maybe not THAT much bait. I often wonder what will happen to them when their parents die.

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SpicySanchezz@reddit

Cus its in 4chan you might never know thou

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HayashiAkira_ch@reddit

Yeah I was one of these people and still am to some degree. Psychologically/verbally abusive household where I was surrounded with anything I could want while simultaneously being verbally beat down by my parents and constantly reminded of how useless and stupid I am. Never taught any life skills whatsoever, then belittled when I didn’t know them. On top of that, I was put on the spectrum as a toddler but my parents did cease therapy, basically punishing me for showing symptoms to discourage “autistic behavior.” But they also gave me whatever material thing I could’ve ever asked for while doing it.

Pretty much made me into a neurotic, anxious adult with a severe inferiority complex and necessitated years of therapy that’s still ongoing, and they genuinely had no idea why I didn’t “turn out normal like other people.” Eventually became the family embarrassment and stopped being invited to any family gatherings or events, then they got pissed off that I wasn’t calling or visiting them and being “ungrateful” for all they gave me.

I’m 30 now, working a decent job, but being held together internally by duct tape and meds. Minimal social skills, generally regarded as awkward. It’s a weird balancing act to have to acknowledge that I’m ultimately responsible for my failures while also acknowledging that they’re rooted in the failures of others. Like when I’d nearly overdraw my account after getting paid from eating out- entirely my own doing, and I’d get yelled at constantly for it. Yet no one thought to put together that the 20-something year old who spent his entire life not being allowed to touch any knives or cookware because “That fucking idiot will hurt himself” probably eats out all the time because he doesn’t know how to cook.

I like that scene in Ted Lasso when he confronts his mom because it kinda encapsulates that entire thought process- like, “Thank you for the Xbox and the concerts and the computers and the vacations, but fuck you for giving me a lifetime of dysfunction because I wasn’t what you wanted.”

Dad’s dead now, mom blames everything she did on him, and I barely see my family outside my little sisters. Still in therapy.

That’s my yapping for the week, catch y’all later.

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Techno-Diktator@reddit

God this is too eerily relatable what the fuck. My father was exactly like this, mom too to a degree but with her it wasn't insults just gently telling me to fuck off cuz she will do it better. Any slight failure in something I did for the first time in my damn life was seen as apocalyptic and grounds for being berated for days on end.

That neurotic anxious adult with a inferiority complex description is so damn correct. Fuck.

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Sosen@reddit

It's brave of you to share all that. But it's obvious that you were never a fraction as bad as the (fake) guy in the post. What would you recommend to such a person?

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HayashiAkira_ch@reddit

Honestly don’t know. I was them, just not quite as old. Couldn’t hold onto money or a job, lost the job I had, my car, and my apartment in one fell swoop. Lived with family for a year and a half give or take.

Still not sure how I’m not completely falling apart. Probably a mixture of meds, distractions, and maladaptive daydreaming.

Anyway, the point is that I’m probably the last person to ask what to do because I don’t know what I’m doing even now.

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Sbotkin@reddit

It’s a weird balancing act to have to acknowledge that I’m ultimately responsible for my failures while also acknowledging that they’re rooted in the failures of others.

This shit is so fucking real.

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Round-Ad8762@reddit

What is your job

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HayashiAkira_ch@reddit

I fix computers

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Round-Ad8762@reddit

So you're a programmer?

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HayashiAkira_ch@reddit

No. I don’t program software, I repair computer hardware as part of an in-house IT team.

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MentalRadish3490@reddit

I relate to a lot of this comment to a smaller degree. I certainly wasn’t given anything I wanted material wise but for the most part I had access to any hobby I showed interest in. Problem was anything I did was met with vague disapproval. My parents got me drums but anytime I’d try to practice I’d get scowled because someone is on the phone, etc. Signed up for sports just to hear my parents bitch and moan about having to take me to practice or show up at games. Anytime I tried cooking anything my mom would scream that I’d burn the house down. A childhood filled with “not right now buddy”. So I got good at solo activities, gaming, biking, skiing. I didn’t need anyone else and in fact was able to get away from the family gaze.

Best advice I can give is get an education, get a good enough job to pad out these things you can’t do. This also gives you the stability to take another shot at something without the pressure. They don’t know I can now play drums, they don’t even know I have a set. I can also cook now, turns out I won’t burn the house down boiling water. In the wise words of Gusteau from Ratatouille “Anyone can be a chef”

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sassystardragon@reddit

You got this, feels like shit I know but you have the rest of your life to grow, maybe you'll reach a point where this part of your life feels so far away it might as well not have happened. Who knows. Best of luck

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No-Section-4385@reddit

People think is bait but these people do exist..

Also you have 2 legs for a reason start using them I walk nearly 2 miles a day to get too work.. Maybe start by losing the extra 200 pounds you have to make it easier.

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Sbotkin@reddit

Depression + autism + ADHD + neglectful parents equals some terrifying shit. And that shit is definitely real (although I wish it wasn't), I feel sorry for anon, it's a very difficult situation to escape.

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Sosen@reddit

"Have you considered getting a job?"

NO. That's not an option. Son of a BITCH!

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baylithe@reddit

Have 2 younger brothers like this. 24 and 25. Living with our dad and his wife. No idea why my dad puts up with it but oh well.

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bdrwr@reddit

38? They let it go WAY too far.

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pylorih@reddit

I legit hope it’s not real.

I can’t imagine living like that.

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rNBA_Mods_Be_Better@reddit

I unfortunately know a couple guys like this. They just tell their parents "if you kick me out i'll just kill myself, which I'm fine with, I already kind of want to do that anyway" - so the parents are stuck with "be an accomplice killing our child or let him live here"

Honestly I think anon's mention of "I don't even have a car" is at play here. The majority of land in America is "I'm stuck in this house unless a car can bring me somewhere" so of course a lot of people get stuck in their houses indefinitely to the point where they're afraid of leaving it. If anon lived in a walkable community with friends and restaurants and things to do, chances are he would have found his way into a healthy society.

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SuspiciousPine@reddit

So glad my personality makes me crazy if I'm just home doing nothing. My work was shut from Mar-May 2020 and I was going absolutely insane despite collecting unemployment more than my wage at the time. It legitimately makes me feel awful to not be doing anything

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cloud858rk@reddit

Offer to work a job, pay rent, and stay?

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hardwood1979@reddit

If I'd left education and gone a year without employment I'd have been kicked out of home I reckon.

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knyexar@reddit

"How can you realist8claly end up like this?"

Untreated clinical depression and being surrounded by people who tell you to "grow up" instead of seeing a therapist is my guess.

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Tommy2255@reddit

Living with your parents isn't or shouldn't be that bad. But you still need a job. Losing your home makes everything way harder. If you had just gotten a job before getting kicked out, you could have put almost all of that into savings instead of now you're going to have to put it all in rent.

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Dmitruly@reddit (OP)

Thread