My wife and I are two years into our mortgage and now expecting a child. I thought I had peaceful neighbours but recently had an altercation. My one neighbour had previously warned me and I have seen my crazy neighbour screaming at others and dancing in the street like a lunatic. Recently I was in my backyard and approached by his wife and asked to have my wife stop trespassing on their property. I was perplexed so I told her I had no idea what she was talking about. She began to escalate and state my wife was having an affair with a 65 year old woman down the street and using their property to do so at 2am. Again dumbfounded and looking to resolve an issue instead of making a big deal I told her she had the wrong person. She proceeded to get her husband who came out hot and started screaming at me about my “faggoty blonde friend who shows up with his fake license plates cause he can’t afford insurance” and “my wife was actually my sister” my brother just moved 10 minutes away and has out of province plates and wife is definitely not my sister lol. Needless to say these people are not alright in the head. I told him it’s no wonder the other neighbours don’t like him and to stay the fuck away from me returning into my house while telling him to eat shit. Fast forward. He has now called the city on me twice. I have been trying to repair my front lawn grass so I haven’t cut it yet, been about 3 weeks. Even the city bylaw worker was confused as to why he was here.

I’m looking for ways to fight fire with fire here. He has 4 vehicles parked on the street so I’m now reporting them as “Abandoned” to get him ticketed every 3 days. Was thinking about sending flowers to his house with a “miss you” card or something. Was even thinking about sending some escorts to their house and watch the drama unfold.

At this point, I don’t even really care if the means are legal, I’m looking to make them leave me and my family alone.

Just wondering what others have done to deal with crappy neighbours.