I don't ever want to hear "British people can't cook" or "Britain has no food culture" again

I'm one of those Brits who can't eat food like this because I end up with awful stomach aches. Full English breakfast is the worst breakfast option for me.

But I will stand up for it's bland stodgy deliciousness. When I was a student this would have been my ideal hangover meal. Would have made the hangover simultaneously better and worse but worth it back then.

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

Amen, sister, big up the stodge

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GravyPainter@reddit

Adding sausage to beans and toast makes it more appealing. Id smack that

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owwlies@reddit

Soshenge

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sleebus_jones@reddit

Britishing Intensifies

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Duke_of_New_York@reddit

EVERYSCRAN FROM LIDL

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mothzilla@reddit

I see potato waffles, I upvote.

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KayvaanShrike1845@reddit

THIS LOOKS FACKIN MINT MATE, BOLLOCKS TO THE NAYSAYERS

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Dragon_Cearon@reddit

Bro, why are you making me hungry?!

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ExpoWitness@reddit

is this a ritual to summon the queen's spirit or

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Fresh-Metal@reddit

As u can see her hand is reaching from the underworld

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ExpoWitness@reddit

why tf does she have 6 fingers tho

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Julian_Sark@reddit

Centuries of European inbreeding.

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durz47@reddit

It's anne

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DeGriz_@reddit

That’s an Obake, we got fingies

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BeGayDoThoughtcrime@reddit

She killed my father.

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Fresh-Metal@reddit

Now prepare to die

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c1n3man@reddit

AI generated Queen

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helloiamsilver@reddit

Inbreeding

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mai_tai87@reddit

Weird, it looks like she's somehow using Charles's fingers (from Hell).

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Fresh-Metal@reddit

Noooooooooo

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lowvolumee@reddit

Can't unsee it now...

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Artificial-Brain@reddit

She's inside the internet so she's already here

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Juan_Moe_Taco@reddit

She'll appear once the fart smoke clears & not one second before, source: "trust me bro."

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likwitsnake@reddit

https://i.imgur.com/b4JBr1qg.jpg

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No-Blueberry-1823@reddit

I was going to ask

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2005Degrees@reddit

Did you steal Buckingham Palaces wifi router

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No_Substance_7290@reddit

Can I get some kind of cheese with this?

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Me-oh-no@reddit

This is equally inspiring and an abomination.

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Not-Found-4-0-4error@reddit

gif

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synchronizedmaeven@reddit

Anyone had that has a dish that contains onomatopoeia bang and the word mash obviously can cook

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TruthPaste_01@reddit

I would absolutely demolish that and sing "God Save the King" while I do it.

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lucky_strike90@reddit

The further I go and the longer I live it seems like I'm one of three people outside of Britain who loves British food. It is very lonely yes. But English breakfast comes with the price. The price of solitude. The price I'm willing to pay! DOG SAVE THE QUEEN 👑

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

Not sure on what planet this classifies as food, but thank you, I bestow upon you the highest honorific I can, naming you 'Plate Brother', a name symbolising your deep kindred connection with my people

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mrcydonia@reddit

Dude, come on man, what you doing?

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

I'd like to say my best but I would never lie to you, Mrcydonia

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swim_and_sleep@reddit

Idk man I love British food and I’m Mediterranean, you guys get a pass from me personally

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Blurstingwithemotion@reddit

Are those waffles or hash browns

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

Were out here Bird's Eye Waffling and you already know I got them on sale 😎

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Sophisticated-Crow@reddit

Those sausages look like they could stop a bullet.

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RotaryDesign@reddit

Lovely classic British cuisine 100% processed and cooked with great culinary skills by throwing everything into microwave and call it a day !

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Downtown_Snow4445@reddit

Weans

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jehozephat@reddit

exactly 👍

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AmazingGrace_00@reddit

I’d wolf it down with a nice dark beer. 😎

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Spezfistsdogs@reddit

Get them beans and Glizzies dawg. Ramen with peas, hot dog slices and Worcestershire is my go to, but this would work.

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Masticatron@reddit

What is this, bangers and sadness?

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thatirishdave@reddit

It's beautiful

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Hothaan@reddit

The looks AMAZING!

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MJXThePhoenix@reddit

Honey, I'm done eating. I'm ready now. My stomach feels weird but I'll be ok.

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AppropriateTouching@reddit

Would

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DanlovesTechno@reddit

Best part about the British food culture is the Indian food.

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JFedererJ@reddit

Th Millennium Bowl

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wavemelon@reddit

you are my tribe.

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BayBandit1@reddit

Culture has a broad definition, as evidenced by the photo of crappy processed foods in the photo. If OP included the photo to demonstrate that the British food culture has been elevated, they failed miserably.

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

I sincerely hope I'm missing something and you're making a joke that I don't get because I've gone out of my way to make it clear that I am acutely aware this is absolute bottom of the barrel shit food and you seem to have missed the point entirely, Mr Fancy Japanese Knives Chef man

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BayBandit1@reddit

Ah, you’re inquisitive as well, Detective! You’re right. I missed your subtle irony. I lived there 6 months, I’m still traumatized.

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Excellent_Law6906@reddit

Thank God I remembered about potato waffles, I was about to be really upset.

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DetailInternal4395@reddit

Brown

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Barbarianmoss@reddit

What the fuck happened here...

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

Leftover sausages from yesterday dipped in a bowl of baked beans + sausages with potato waffles added around the edge of the bowl, all tastefully presented in a manner I'd like to call 'Sausagehenge'. The composition invokes my ancient ancestors and channels their disgust and disappointment to really complete the meal.

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MarsScully@reddit

Beautiful

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corduroy_puffin@reddit

You really went for double sausage 😂 The commitment to pork is outstanding.

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vemiscellaneous@reddit

😂

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Barbarianmoss@reddit

Lmao. I am glad I asked.

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Eyervan@reddit

Bangers and bean henge

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

That's the new canon name, thank you

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_po__@reddit

I love me a good brown dicks 'n bean jacuzzi dinner.

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Sharp_Somewhere_9777@reddit

There is lack of beer

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cinnamoncard@reddit

This whole thing implies beer to me

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RizzOreo@reddit

I've done this once as well. Cut up the sausages, it'll taste "better"...

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Own_Art_8006@reddit

Scot here recognising true ethnic skill

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

Thank you my highland brother, we are truly a kindred people

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Own_Art_8006@reddit

It's the double bowl that truly makes it. I've always done mash base of beans and sausages; this is advanced difficulty!

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

This is very emotional for me. It's not often that people respect the bravery and ingenuity that goes into my cooking. I feel so seen.

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bigpinkmeow@reddit

You don’t need cooking experience to burn sausages, heat baked beans in a pot, and toast waffles in a toaster 😹

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

I beg to differ. I'd like to see a 5 year old achieve what I can. Are there some trained gorillas that can cook better than I can? Yes. Does that mean what you see before you has less intrinsic artistic/culinary value? Also yes.

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Artificial-Brain@reddit

Needs gravy

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fishbulb83@reddit

I guess you’re gonna have to sign off then. 😅

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shackbleep@reddit

Better cover your ears then.

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EddyRosenthal@reddit

Isn’t there missing a uncooked sausage to recreate the meme?

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SoSeriousAndDeep@reddit

Makes you proud to be bri'ish.

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musknasty84@reddit

Man, yall got great looking food, I just with I knew where to start 😂

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MultiColoredMullet@reddit

Ah, beige with double brown today huh? Y'all be getting creative.

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

I had to google what you meant and I was shocked how accurately the list of "beige foods" + the explaination fit my 'diet'

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MalodorousNutsack@reddit

You need to pour some brown sauce around to really max it out

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vbader67@reddit

Burnt Dicks ‘n beans

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IhearClemFandango@reddit

As a brit brought up in a Council house I'd cut this into a line and snort it.

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

Low income gang who made it out the ends, one love

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fat-wombat@reddit

Me, not belonging to this demographic whatsoever but finding so much joy in this thread

gif

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ambassat@reddit

gif

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The_Spectacle@reddit

my problem is that I personally find the only palatable brand of baked beans to be Grandma Brown's, but they closed up during covid 😭

shit man they were SO GOOD, I can't even find the words to describe them

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Infamous-Outcome1288@reddit

zipzap21@reddit

I say old chap, I fought it were ace!

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zipzap21@reddit

The geometry. The symmetry. Absolutely Exquisite!

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NthDalea@reddit

I have a soft spot for overcooked sausages. I would actually try this.

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wobblythings@reddit

Plating inspired by the O2 Arena I see, exquisite.

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Will-it-count@reddit

What are those things like kinda look like waffles?? 🧇 is that bread, or potatoes, or…?

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ConcentratedOJ@reddit

What really makes this next level is the attention paid by the chef to plating and presentation.

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ninesevenecho@reddit

British people DEFINITELY can’t cook.

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Willing_Alps4291@reddit

That actually looks pretty good, sausages good, waffles good, beans good, what’s not good!?!

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regeya@reddit

You sure that's enough sausage?

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chirpymist@reddit

OK beans and hashbrowns are fine but why the fuck does the sausage look like it comes from the fucking prehistoric times. Fuckers look older then the dinosaurs.

Those sausages look like they predate the entire UK.

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

Why properly reheat sausages you cooked yesterday when you can annihilate them in the oven on the same tray as the potato waffles? Throw it in the oven, give it 20 minutes, bam, 0 effort meal. I should write a book.

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Kevinwbooth@reddit

Those are potato waffles, not hash browns.

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donpuglisi@reddit

If that's what British people are "cooking", im definitely doubling down on that stance

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cmdrxander@reddit

Let us cook

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todobueno@reddit

Bangers look solid.

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RottingFlame@reddit

are those sausages and beans with mini sausages? With the potato waffles to this is a mad one. Big respect to you

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perpetualmotionmachi@reddit

The British get a lot of flack for having bland, shitty food. And most of it's probably well deserved. But they are also responsible for scotch eggs, so at least they did something right

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JoMammasWitness@reddit

Those sausages are absolutely obliterated

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Sh_7422@reddit

Sausage Ritual

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Revegelance@reddit

Those sausages look positively delicious.

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Beny1995@reddit

2 bowls seems like a fantastic way to make everything cold in double the time. Unless preheated of course.

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Impressive_Jaguar_70@reddit

Those waffles look perfect

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jimmyjong2000@reddit

Top scran that is.

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YakElectronic6713@reddit

Strangely, I'd totally eat this.

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dbxp@reddit

I want some potato waffles now

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carl84@reddit

You've never had a cup of beans man? Scoop up the beans with the sausage, like a savoury 99

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vemiscellaneous@reddit

Texture orgy.

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

Probably my three favourite textures all together at once, everything gets dipped in the beans.

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macandcheesefan45@reddit

I….. understand??

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c1n3man@reddit

Damn I love fried sausages, but those looks a bit burnt.

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

They were cooked beautifully yesterday but today I just put the leftover cooked ones straight in the oven with the waffles for 20 minutes so they're 100% overcooked but when you're ill you're ill you know?

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

Hell yeah, the next dipped sausage is dedicated to you

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AspiringChamp@reddit (OP)

They're potato waffles, crunchy and a little salty

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RespectCalm4299@reddit

Six burnt cocks protruding from a bowl of limp beans ain’t helping the stereotype