Blowing my 7-year-old's mind

Lols…my oldest, while in 3rd grade, caused her public school to call the police department and send a public wide emergency notification that a student had made a threat of violence at the school, and that law enforcement was currently responding to the ongoing incident… I had sent an online message to someone that I “sincerely hope that you and all things coming from or even have possibly contacted any source contain his genetic code should go DIAF as that is the only way to be certain there is nothing in existence that could somehow allow him to perpetuate his DNA!” I had been speaking the words as I typed them and she had heard me. She asked me when I finished what does “DIAF” mean? So I matter of facts told her it stands for “Die In A Fire” and that was that right? Nope when she had written aa note in class that was being passed to a boy that she had been in an ongoing feud with it was intercepted by the classes student teacher. After reading the note the barely alive for 9/11 student teacher demanded to know who wrote it, and as was always the case, each person that involved in passing on the note exchange NARC’d on the person that they got the note from, and when my daughter was dime bagged out she begrudgingly admitted to writing it. Well, it turned out that this student teacher had never seen “DIAF” before and asked what it stood for. My daughter, like me, stated exactly what it stood for in the same demeanor as any other thing that is not any kind of big deal was. The teacher I guess was shocked by such an abhorrent an terrifying thing to wish for, and then immediately took my daughter to the school office to report it to the principal. The principal told my daughter and the teacher that he knew my daughter didn’t actually intend literally that such a thing to happen, but because the district had a zero tolerance policy on any and all forms of threats made that required notifying the police, without exceptions, that there was a situation of eminent harm against others discovered by a teacher that another student was planning to carry out at that time. Within a few minutes of the LEO& community wide emergency notice there were 6 patrol vehicles parked on school grounds that had responded lights & sirens to the “active threat,” further officers en route (to begin redirecting traffic, alert adjacent residents at home, and oversee the safety of those that had exited the school as it was being evacuated per established methods), and Fire and EmS units were in the process of establishing a staging area for possible triaging of any mass casualty victims and for facilitating space that any additional ambulances could use to collect victims for transportation to the regional hospitals that were also initiating protocols to be prepped for receiving an unknown number of victims from a possible mass casualty incident. All said, by the end of the incident flocks of parents that got the alert flooded the school grounds fearing the worst, every local news station had at least one camera crew (three news helicopters overhead) present, and all elements within the local, county, and state mass casualty response system had been activated in some manner, and the governor had received word about the situation. Yeah, when my wife and I went to talk to the principal, teacher, social worker, and a few other people about things I couldn’t keep my composure and began to laugh expressing my incredulity that someone thought that my daughter was either going to pull out a can full of gas with a handful of matched from her pocketless shorts and short sleeve shirt right there and burn everything down. The teacher said she never thought my daughter might be in possession of have hidden materials to do such a thing. Fortunately my wife was present minded enough to interrupt me, because many people do not comprehend when I am using sarcasm or my lack of concern about such things , after asking this teacher if that was the case just how was my daughter and active threat, and if she thought my daughter had the ability to conjure fire into existence with some kind of supernatural power. I decided to excuse myself at that point with one last condescending sarcastic remarks as to my reasons for exiting the meeting which were that I needed to make some phone calls to former Marines or DOD personnel I knew from wartime service to arrange for guarantees safeguarding my daughter’s wellbeing during any weapons research activities conducted to try and find a means to replicate her pyromancy ability in a form not requiring a genetic “XX” genetic code. 🙄