How to respect local culture as an international student?
Posted by caifer3000@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 55 comments
Hi to all of you, I'm an 18 year old Zambian ( Barotseland specifically) girl interested in studying in one of your universities, I just want to know what life is like in your country for a foreigner, more specifically an international student.
I come from a strictly insular, isolationist culture and community and when I say strictly, I mean strictly, we're not supposed to be defectors ( living in different countries, marrying out, eating different foods, having friends outside the group etc.). What can I do to practice this without disrespecting your nation, my people are docile and non confrontational, so I don't wish to cause problems, we don't have any diaspora so I won't have a community in the US, what advice would you give me to make sure I do NOT disrespect you or your nation in any way?
I don't plan to live here as it's not my country but since I'll be your guest what should I avoid doing in your country?
What are some things I should know?
Please, I don't mean any harm and I don't wish to dishonour my people or yours.
RafRafRafRaf@reddit
Why do you think there’s no UK Zambian community? Look up Zambians Together UK.
The UK is a melting-pot, especially London. If you allow the possibility that you’ll have a great time and make friends here you have a good chance to do so. The opposite is also true: if you assume that you will inevitably be isolated and shouldn’t and can’t make friends with anyone who isn’t exactly like you, then yes, you will be isolated. It’s up to you.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
We don't travel a lot, that's typically what our very distant cousin Zimbabwe does tbh, so I assumed the UK forgot about us 😂
RafRafRafRaf@reddit
I don’t think that’s accurate, though. I’ve had a Zambian nurse in hospital in London! I wonder if that’s the kind of thing that gets said to people when they don’t want them to travel and experience the wider world…?
tmstms@reddit
Don't worry. Do whatever you like. We let everyone live as they wish.
William_Ballsucker@reddit
Just try not to be a knob and live a good life here 😸
PetersMapProject@reddit
If you refuse to talk to people from outside of your culture, then you are going to find yourself very isolated. Isolating yourself in a foreign country is a recipe for being absolutely miserable.
You're also going to miss out on most of the benefits of an international education.
I'm not offended, I'm mainly just sad for you to be honest, that you feel you're required to isolate yourself from everyone around you.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
It's very normal to isolate yourself in your own group here in Southern Africa, I never thought of it being bad 🙁
yellowsubmarine45@reddit
We would consider isolation frim friendships because of on ethnicity to be racist behaviour. We don't tend to like racist behaviour.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
I understand and I respect that, I will do my best to avoid this behavior and genuinely try to experience different cultures, thank you for telling me this
yellowsubmarine45@reddit
It doesn't have to be as deep as 'experiencing other cultures'. Just be friendly with people regardless of their cultural background. Treat people as people.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
I will, I'm genuinely open to being pleasantly surprised by these differences we have, whether it's over time, I'm not opposed to it now
yellowsubmarine45@reddit
Well I hope you come and have a lovely time then! I work at university in the north of England and am actually working on a project in Uganda, Malawi and Zambia at the moment!
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
Oh that's nice, what's it about if you don't mind me asking?
yellowsubmarine45@reddit
Antibiotic resistance.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
Oh that's... Interesting, I suppose 😁
BRIStoneman@reddit
Our schools here actively encourage students from different backgrounds to mix and get to know each other's cultures.
Yesterday, we had our World Cultures Day where we encouraged the kids to come in in their national dress or cultural dress, and we had a massive buffet of various ethnic dishes brought in by a local community kitchen and some of the parents.
Nothing quite like having a Biryani and a Cornish Pasty for lunch, finished off with a Polish cream cake.
Cloisonetted@reddit
Would this extend to refusing to work with students from other backgrounds on group projects? It's not clear from your post whether you would or not and I don't want to assume, I really hope you'd be happy to work with a range of other people.
I ask because such refusal would at best cripple your academic progress and at worst might get you kicked out of uni for racism.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
It doesn't extend to the workplace, only personal relationships eg. Friends and romantic partners
Cloisonetted@reddit
I'd say you could behave like that in the UK, it will leave you very lonely and isolated, and pretty much without any kind of in person support network.
And other people would find it weird/rude, some might get pretty offended if you tell them you don't want to be friends because of their ethnicity. Treating everyone with the same basic respect is important in the uk, you don't have to be friends with everyone but making decisions based on people's immutable characteristics (things they can't change like ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation) is at best rude.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
Thank you for telling me this, I don't wish any offense to anyone
PetersMapProject@reddit
We're a pretty multicultural society here - and we're very used to having friends, and food, from different backgrounds.
I'm white; yesterday I went and bought food at the East Asian supermarket, lunch today was pasta (Italian), tonight I'm having an Indian style curry for dinner, and tomorrow I'll make a Japanese dinner with mackerel. That sort of thing is completely normal here.
Indeed, if someone - especially a white person - said that they only wanted to interact with white people and eat British food, people would think they were racist, which is a very bad thing to be. As a newly arrived Zambian, you'll get more leeway, but don't expect people to be thrilled if you tell them that you don't want to be friends on account of their ethnicity.
I'm sure there's lots of fantastic things about your culture, and some foods you could introduce your new flatmates to.... and you could try some of theirs. For example, one traditional British dish is fish and chips, which is pescetarian.
But it's no good trying to set yourself up to live in a one woman, colder outpost of Barotseland in Britain. You are going to make yourself completely, unnecessarily miserable through isolation and culture shock.
People will want to welcome you to Britain. Please let them welcome you. For your sake - not theirs.
gold_rig@reddit
I'd avoid not speaking to locals. Many international students stay in their international bubbles. It's not that I find it offensive. It's just a shame. It seems as though you won't be doing that anyway.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
I don't want to come off as dishonorable, I'm in Your country, therefore I am at your mercy
gold_rig@reddit
Maybe you are overthinking it
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
I just want to be respectful
SnooRegrets8068@reddit
Others won't be. It's almost part of our culture to tease even friends. From the sound of it you should fit in absolutely fine. If you want to fit in and don't make a fuss then most people don't give a shit who you are. Behaviour matters and you sound like you want to make things work.
I'm sure you are aware that wherever you go some people will be horrendous racists. That is not standard behaviour but it is a loud majority.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
I've heard of racism towards Africans from Middle Eastern and South asian communities in the UK but I didn't know it was this bad
SnooRegrets8068@reddit
There are idiots everywhere. Race/religion or otherwise is not really a factor. Some people just don't like other people for very stupid and ignorant reasons.
Is there no tension between communities or people who display dislike or worse of others where you are? Or are you just used to it?
The vast majority are fine.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
There is, search up Barotseland and you'll see
SnooRegrets8068@reddit
Then why seem confused about this sort of behaviour elsewhere?
That said I suppose you likely have not have the same access to information I have had for decades based entirely on the UK being ahead on the Internet roll out and usage for quite some time compared to a lot of the world on average. Quite far behind now in some ways.
Every country has its issues. The UK can be one of the more welcoming places despite the medias presentation. But like I said idiots are everywhere.
gold_rig@reddit
Maybe you could watch some UK TV? There's a good school exchange TV show out between the UK and America. It discusses people's experiences with racism.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
Can you name any?
PetersMapProject@reddit
The one the previous poster is referring to is this one
https://www.channel4.com/programmes/school-swap-uk-to-usa
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
Thank you so much for this
gold_rig@reddit
Idk the name of the show but if you type what I wrote into Google it should come up
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
Ok thank you 🙏🏽
gold_rig@reddit
It's way better here than in America or continental Europe.
Cloisonetted@reddit
The uk tends to be very live-and-let-live. We might think you're a bit foolish, or rude, but we'd just avoid you, or leave you to get on with your own life, unless you were actively stopping us getting about our day. There's a lot of different people in the uk and we mainly get along by leaving each other alone.
miowiamagrapegod@reddit
One thing I don't see anyone talking about is what you are intending to study.
Lots of university courses contain an element of group work. While it may be possible to complete this work by literally only interacting with people you are set up to work with, you will find it MUCH more fulfilling and valuable to make a point of getting to know your course mates and forming working relationships with them. Plus you will produce more valuable contributions to the work and not become a hinderance to others on your course
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
I want to be a cosmetic chemist
yellowsubmarine45@reddit
No one will have a problem with your dietary requirements and you should find all of the ingredients you need if you are living in a reasonably large city. Who you marry and where you settle is your own business.
However, the requirement not to have any friends of different cultures is (whilst your choice) quite against the ethos of the UK as a whole, and certainly the student experience. Also, you would find it pretty lonely.
Cloisonetted@reddit
There's a lot of "day in the life" vlogs on YouTube, you could start there; a lot of unis also publish rough budgets/cost of living info for prospective students (usually through student organisations).
Things that are likely to be different: expectations of privacy, and maybe appropriate volume, taxes, importance of queueing.
And, yeah, like they said over in r/askgermany, what you describe does sound a bit like a cult.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
Gosh, I never really thought of my upbringing as a cult, I thought we were just closed off and quiet
Cloisonetted@reddit
It may not be. But defining acting different food, marrying outside the group or leaving the country as "defecting" sounds more cult than just insular to me. What are the consequences for doing these things?
For context, never eating food outside my own culture would be weird to me, so my "normal" and your "normal" sound quite different already.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
The consequences are being excommunicated and full on disowned by your family and community.
My cultural diet is strictly pescatarian with the exception of insects
PetersMapProject@reddit
That's a huge red flag for a cult. Huge.
Fish, vegetarian and vegan food are all really easy to get here. There won't be any problem finding meat-free foods.
But we don't really eat insects here - it's a bit of a cultural taboo for us. I don't even know where you could buy them to be honest.
Cloisonetted@reddit
I've seen them for sale for animal food but not for human consumption
That said, you can buy almost anything somewhere in London
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
You're missing out on the insects but that's just my opinion, fried locusts are the best
Cloisonetted@reddit
I'd call that a cult.
The UK is pretty welcoming on the diet front BTW, most events I've been to have catered for omnivore plus vegan options (vegetarians get the vegan food), and there's usually good provision for halal, kosher and pescetarian tho quite often everyone who isn't an omnivore gets the vegan option. In the bigger cities there's a range of different restaurants like Korean, Italian, Vietnamese, Nigerian, Ethiopian, all sorts. The shops sell an ok range of fish, tho it tends to be north sea species, which might be different to your usual diet.
putlersux@reddit
There's a book called Watching the English, it's about the hidden rules in society. Big city life can be quite overwhelming and stressful, especially if you are coming from a closed community. Best thing to do is have a safe space or activity which helps you to stay grounded. Things like joining a choir if you enjoy singing or going for walks, or to the gym. Find something that works for you and can be a stress relief.
Writing a journal can work, it can help you to process things that are strange or shocking.
Bulbasaurus__Rex@reddit
Are you coming to the UK or the US? Your post says US.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
UK, I am interested in other countries so I'm going around researching so I know what to expect and then make my decision, I asked the same question in Australia, new Zealand etc.
Bulbasaurus__Rex@reddit
I see. Well we're on a whole quite friendly and uncomplicated people. We respect good manners and good humour. It does depend where you live though, some places are friendlier/ruder than others.
I'd say getting your student visa and sponsorship sorted is gonna be a bigger factor in where you study though, it's hard these days.
caifer3000@reddit (OP)
It is hence why I'm trying to find more places to study just in case
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