ULPT: How to make a narcissist feel uncomfortable

Posted by PBJinthetrash@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 29 comments

I’ve got a narcissist in my circle whom everyone else let’s get away with his behavior. He’ll say stuff to other people that makes them extremely uncomfortable but no one will say anything back to him, but we’re all tired of it.

What are some things I could say that would force him to face his feelings or put him in an incredibly awkward/uncomfortable situation? In other words, not just a clap back, but really destroy his ego/stop this behavior. I know I won’t get through to him to make him self-reflect. I really don’t care about keeping the peace at this point. ☺️

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littlegoodwolf123@reddit

WTF, you can't win. Just ignore them, they hate it the most.

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StanielReddit@reddit

This! SIL is a narcissist and if you just ignore her and show you’re not interested you can see her skin begin to itch.

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XemptOne@reddit

It will take a group effort, but you basically all have to ignore him every time he does something you describe. He is attention seeking, dont give it to him...

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haleontology@reddit

The only way is to drop them out of your circle, no explanation, no contact, they're just dead to you- which is accurate because they're dead inside

Meanwhile try to plan something with everyone in your circle EXCEPT him, don't tell him about it

If you can get everyone in on it, brag about the event on SM later, what a GREAT time you all had- it might provoke revenge though so be careful- narcissists are the reptilian scum of the Earth and deserve to suffer the exact fire and brimstone they make their beds with

Oh yeah, piss discs- lotsa lotsa piss discs🤣

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Sauterneandbleu@reddit

Here's a technique that I use on the regular with somebody who tries to gaslight me in public. They say something and I pretend not to understand what they said and I ask them what they meant. They say it was nothing, and I say, oh no it was something, please explain, I didn't get it. If people tell me to let it go, as they often do, I say no no I want to know what it means. I repeat it back exactly word for word and I say I don't get it. And then I go to the crowd (it always takes place in front of an audience due to the nature of my work) to ask them if there was some slang that I didn't know the meaning of. Due to the cyclical nature of my job, I have been doing it for many years very successfully. It shuts up the narcissist almost every time.

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LordBecmiThaco@reddit

Sounds like you've got a crush OP.

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GTholla@reddit

wdym?

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LordBecmiThaco@reddit

Elaborate revenge fantasies? Armchair cycle analysis? Come on.

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GTholla@reddit

you were raised to think really weirdly about what a crush is, my dude.

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tilldeathdoiparty@reddit

This is a losing battle, they don’t register your wins, so you’ll look like an ass when they deflect until you spaz and look like a dumbass.

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Kycrio@reddit

When someone says something offensive on purpose, my go to is to look genuinely confused and say "why would you say something like that?" or "what a strange thing to say." If what they said was veiled or subtle, look confused and say "what do you mean by that?" to make them either explain that they were being mean or retract it. If they try to play it off as a joke just keep a deadpan expression and don't continue the conversation with them.

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Destroyer1231454@reddit

Convince the entire group to ignore them when they say their unhinged shit. Just carry on the conversation like they’re not even there. Not only will it unnerve them, but it’ll also hurt their feelings so bad they might even find a new group to “hang” with. Nothing burns a narc more than everyone ignoring them like they don’t even exist.

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CartoonistNo9@reddit

“That’s a bit rich coming from you” is my favourite sit-down-and-be-quiet line.

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Forsaken_Control9380@reddit

Question them with a smiling face. Repeat what he told the person. They hear it back what they are saying and it forces them to explain in front of everyone. They hate it. Really hate it.

Example. Narc-", who the hell wears white socks with black sneakers?"

You-in a semi laughing joking way"who the hell wears white socks with black sneakers? Why? What's wrong?

It's repeating what he said . With a follow up for him to explain. Have to do it in a pleasant manner. Or he'll have a reason to call out your anger and turn it on you. They hate it.

Narcs love demeaning people. And usually no one says a word. So in their mind they believe they are doing it covertly. Under the radar so to say. Doing what I mentioned pulls them into the radar for all to see now. And now they are forced to explain in front of everyone. That's why being friendly is so important. They'll do anything to find a quick way out. They may even come at you to try and anger you. Stay friendly no matter what they say.

A narcissist biggest fear is exposure. That's about the biggest shot you're gonna take at their fragile ego.

Yes they may target you. That's why playing dumb is so important. You can't expose your true intention of what you're up to. If you could possibly get one or two more to get in on the action with you. You will defeat him. You're in for a challenge on your own though. Get a few in on it. He'll feel his gig is up and everyone knows.

Enter at your own risk. Only you know how risky it is with his person. Or how fearful he is. A lot of narcissist are just verbal abusers who talk tough to mask their weak inner self. And of course there are some that can be down right evil

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agapepaga@reddit

Start acting like you pity them.

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sallybetty@reddit

I like this idea. Stay outside of their zone, try to ignore them. They want all your attention and all the drama. Also, try to be unuseful to them. People are there to be used. If you have nothing to offer them, they will walk away. If you have to engage, figure out how to have an attitude of pity. They will look elsewhere for attention.

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SilentFlames907@reddit

You can't make a narcissist uncomfortable.

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randomresearch1971@reddit

Right in the middle of the narcissist’s blabbing, say you’re sick of their toxic negativity, then leave the area. Don’t look back, don’t give into their need for drama.

Don’t engage/elaborate with them beyond that. Leave everytime that energy vampire walks up to your group.

Grey rock all attempts they make to “dramatically confront” you, make an effort not to be in the same room with them again.

This will unnerve them to no end.

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taintmaster900@reddit

You can manipulate a narcissist by sucking up to them and making them feel like they're great because deep down they are so insecure they decided to make it everyone else's problem. So if you can stand lying and pretending to be nice and stroke their ego they literally will not notice you doing it because they crave that sort of validation so badly.

I've been thru it fam.

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taintmaster900@reddit

You cannot make them self-reflect. They see the reflection and it makes them feel so yucky they make it your problem. Any direct action is not going to work, it will just embolden them. A narcissist's weakness is themselves and their own severe insecurity, if you attack that insecurity directly they will double down on the nasty behavior. You just have to use that knowledge and subtly use it against them. Any sort of positive attention will blind them to what you are actually doing (because how could anybody fool them when they are so great and amazing?)

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Sea_Switch_2326@reddit

Call them out to a fist fight.

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luckygirl54@reddit

Grey stone them.

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Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit

Yup. Maybe let others who can be trusted in on Grey Rocking to do it as well. Either by explanation or by example. But absolutely do not reward the asshole with acknowledgement. Even calling their behaviour out in front of them is rewarding to them.

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