How have your experiences been with social services?
Posted by realdrillanw10@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 18 comments
For context, I am a 26 year old male with a 5 month old and I have reported the mother (25) of my child to both police and social services more than once.
In the first instance of social services, I reported for neglect and as I couldn't take her away to live with me because still breastfeeding at the time, I was told to deal with it and support her by the first social worker.
The first time to police was because she tends to be violent towards me and threatens me weekly, and also neglect. They made a referral to social services.
The second time to police was after calling 999 and going in to a station and giving a statement, even providing evidence because she assaulted me, kicking me, hitting my neck, and pulling a knife on me. They reported her to social services. A social worker called and said I should only see my daughter once a fortnight. This social worker dismissed the knife and said I shouldn't have called police
I went for an assessment in person with a new social worker and despite me detailing everything with my experiences with her over the last 15 months of me knowing her. In the assessment done, it had dismissed all my points and concerns with the mother and summarised it to two sentences. However, for her assessment it was 75% of the document and claimed I was abusive because I threatened legal action (I have taken her to court for custody and to stop her removing my child from the country as she's illegal over here) and I tapped her with a paper I was reading telling her I'm taking her to court, same night I was assaulted.
Despite me telling her every time I'm in person with her I have to record everything she says or does secretly for my own safety, she recommended supervised visitation, especially as I do not wish to improve communication with her due to being told by family, police, a judge, and a CAFCASS officer to avoid contacting or meeting her.
I just wanted to know if anyone else has had anything as bad as this with social services?
Apologies if this is the wrong sub, I just want to know if there have been any others who have had something similar.
Junior-Career8142@reddit
I’ve seen cases where fathers reporting abuse or safety concerns felt completely dismissed, especially when the focus shifted onto “improving communication” instead of addressing the actual incidents. Documenting everything and going through court was honestly the right move here. Social services can get things wrong, and sadly a lot of parents only start being taken seriously once there’s a long paper trail. Stay focused on your child’s safety and protect yourself legally too.
AdExotic6538@reddit
Bit different to your current situation but my son took his kids off the mother dec 24 ( her dad rang him said don’t bring them back ) January they was put on a cpp due to the mother and they been quite helpful it’s been 10 months now and my son is off cpp asking as mother not involved & we’re now going through crt so have to wait to what happens thier but to us been quite. Helpful got us beds and bedding as obviously it jus happened and we was prepared
Choice-Standard-6350@reddit
I simply don’t believe you. I used to work with children and knew kids taken into care or with social services involvement. The reasons given by parents were rarely anywhere near the truth.
realdrillanw10@reddit (OP)
I'm more than happy to send you the audio recordings, the current active prohibited steps order, the current notice of hearing for Monday, pictures, messages where she even said she will tie me up and rape me, both police reports, the CAFCASS safeguarding letter, and more. You don't have to believe at all, we all have free will
happymagpie1989@reddit
It doesn't matter what you can prove social services are scum and they are not on your side ,they twist everything you say to fit there narrative
undercovergloss@reddit
This right here. My son made an allegation to his teacher in school that his dad hurt him (we’ve been separated since I left dv when I was pregnant). His dad said it happened in his care as an ‘accident’ but medical evidence shows it was done intentionally. But apparently because dad said it was accidental and my son lives with me - they don’t give a shit about investigating dad, only me as his main parent despite it coming out of his mouth that his dad hurt him and not me.
Before it happened to me I believed the narrative that parents have to be in the wrong to have involvement or have their kids taken off them. I’ve raised my son solo from birth, I don’t smoke, drink or do drugs, I don’t bring strange men into my home with my son either. I am a good mum but all because my son made an allegation against his dad they’re suddenly involved in my life. They’re truly scum and fail to protect children.
happymagpie1989@reddit
My shit show of an excuse who social services got involved is because of a neighbour who i have been having disputes with since they moved in 4 years ago , they do nothing but make false claims about everything about me to anyone who will listen even down to reporting me for not having a tele license which is not true either.
They have now claimed I have antisocial behaviour to my housing association and got social services involved as I am apparently putting my child at risk by this ....... he is 17 years old just left school in June has now started work and taking his driving lessons but somehow I am neglecting him and not being a supportive parent and don't provide stability in his life .
Social services came to this conclusion by meeting me for a grand total of an hour and a half and tried to get a child protection order on my son but was told they have no basis for one when we had to attend a IPCT meeting , which was one of the worst experience of my life I had to sit in a room with a lot of professionals who have never met me or my child and rip into me as a mother with no evidence to suggest otherwise just based on a false claim off my neighbour who actually are harassing me with everything they can
Its awful , social services are not your friend and I am sorry you've had to go through that with them I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy
Valuable-Wallaby-167@reddit
That doesn't show your behaviour though. You're assuming that proving she's in the wrong means proving you're in the right. It doesn't. When it comes to child protection they're not comparing you to each other they're looking at you individually. You need to be showing your strengths as a father, not just getting stuck in a back and forth with her. You're going on about neglect but very little of what you're saying is about your child, you've not mentioned how your child's being neglected at all. If that's how you're acting in person, that's your problem. If you want to change social services etc opinion of you then you need to show that that's your focus, not whatever your ongoing drama with their mother is.
Ldn_twn_lvn@reddit
Some of the adult social care lot and their council chums - absolute scum
They drug people with,
Then when asked about it's either, "oh sorry, we didn't know we shouldnt do that" like people are cretinous enough to believe that they are THAT retarded, or it's, "well, what else can we do?" like they think saying that just mitigates their insidious criminality
Once a person has all thrown at them, if they can even stand up anymore, a court is defrauded into issuing an order to have them put into care where poisoning continues and it's basically a protracted death sentence
That's what they are out there doing every day, the slow-murder of citizens and they are getting with it AND you are funding them
Ldn_twn_lvn@reddit
You get them Social types wot drug people with medications like Statins, to give them sleep disturbances
....then if that person gets a job where they aren't at home (so their sleep disturbances don't affect anyone), they will deliberately sabotage that persons job, to try to get them back home.
All so they can present fake files to courts, to hoodwink HMCS into issuing fraudulent orders, against said person.
CuteyLovva83@reddit
Firstly, I think you're arsehole for calling social services. They do NOTHING. You want your kid to be taken into care? Well you're going right about it.
I went to rehab, was homeless due to my dick of boyfriend from domestic violence, got a flat and Glasgow City Council's dicks of so-called social workers said 'it's too little, too late'
I really hope that you'll be alright
Sweet-Particular3705@reddit
What happened when you reported her assault to the police? Besides them reporting her to social services. Did you press charges?
I assume it has been determined that the mother of your child poses minimal risk to your daughter. Obviously things are rarely cut and dry like that but I assume that is the conclusion they've arrived at.
If things are as you say, I would fight this entirely through official channels. Take a restraining order out against this woman, go to court for custody/visitation with your child. Do not contact her at all. Do not see her at all. Make yourself look whiter than white.
As for my understanding of social services - their focus will be on whether the child is being adequately cared for. You said you've reported neglect. What came of this?
Choice-Standard-6350@reddit
He wouldn’t get a restraining order, he has no evidence for one.
Sweet-Particular3705@reddit
My response was deliberately neutral because I don't know all (any) of the facts.
When I was assaulted I was asked by the police if I wanted to press charges. They ultimately make the decision however they do take the victims wishes into consideration. At least, that is the case in Scotland.
Even if the police dismissed his evidence in that instance, he could still apply for a non-mol. It may not be successful. I - again - do not know any of the pertinent facts.
Choice-Standard-6350@reddit
The courts are rightly reluctant to hand out orders based on simply what an ex partner says. The OP says they record every interaction secretly, and yet the police and two social workers have dismissed his so called evidence. His evidence is probably an argument where she says something like I wish you would just disappear, and poster is trying to pretend that is a threat. He does not even state what the neglect is, so it is obviously something bullshit like thee were dishes in the sink. It is not uncommon for exes to try and use police, social services and courts to harass their ex partner.
Sweet-Particular3705@reddit
Wow. You're making all kinds of assumptions.
You have no idea what the particulars are. I don't either. I haven't professed to. I'm sure there is much more nuance to the situation than is detailed in OP's post. You seem to know everything with absolute certainty though. /s
oudcedar@reddit
This is very difficult as there are always two sides to a story and understandably you have given us your side. From the decisions made it sounds like the police and social services find her side much more believable, and it’s impossible to know why from what you have posted.
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