ULPT If you knew you were dying
Posted by AhrEeThrowaway@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 15 comments
If you were diagnosed with a lethal illness and had less than a year to live, what could you do with your remaining time to prop up, put ahead, or otherwise enhance the lives of the people around you?
andthenshesnapped@reddit
I’d try Heroin
Doorhandal@reddit
If you are married, divorce due to “infidelity” and give her the house. Then open as many credit cards and take out as many loans as humanly possible. Enjoy life on the banks expense.
Po-Tay-Toz@reddit
I'd take some bad guys with me.
beautifulterribleqn@reddit
Run for Congress. If I could, I'd make a rule that you can only represent your state if you have a terminal condition, so you can't be bribed with a fancy ass lifestyle because you won't need it. Lots more people would get to contribute to the country, and we'd have less bullshit in our laws.
Also probably a much stronger healthcare system and UBI.
BrazilianButtCheeks@reddit
My friend from highschool lost her mom to breast cancer but when she found out she was terminal she realized she didnt have a huge inheritance or anything to leave her but she did have good credit so she took all the money that she actually had and bought her daughter a car and put it in her name and then got every credit card with as high of limits as she could and bought her daughter literally EVERYTHING.. she had like 30 pairs of designer jeans and tons expensive cowboy boots and bags and jewelry.. she even got her a huge ring that looked like a wedding ring engraved that she gave to the grandmother to give to her at the funeral.. she had life insurance which my friend got as well.. it obviously doesn’t make up for a mom but she did what she could
Sea_Bear7754@reddit
Oh I would spend a lot less time propping up and a lot more time tearing down. I'd prop up people by the money in my estate. They don't need anything else.
Now for my medium sized shit-list... that's a different story.
Financial-Creme@reddit
Without getting too specific, I'd make sure that a few people were going ahead of me.
Cuneus-Maximus@reddit
Divorce if married. Give every asset you have to your divorcee in the split, so you have no remaining ownership / title / claim to anything of value.
Take out as much debt as possible as cash. Buy gold bullion with said cash. Leave no trace of the purchases. Give all the gold bullion to whomever you want to help.
You die with a heavily indebted estate, debtors are left high and dry as you have no assets in the estate for them to go after.
Drunk_Lemon@reddit
UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit
Your post or comment was removed for violating rule 8: No tips about rape, murder, suicide, or in general any tip that would violate the Geneva Convention laws.
this-guy-@reddit
Unfortunately lethal illnesses with a 12 countdown tend to not to mean you will be fine, fine fine, dead. What actually happens is
18 months out "I feel terrible but the doc says it's just laziness ".
14 months out "I've been referred to a specialist because I keep falling over and these headaches are awful I keep throwing up".
12 months out "you have 12 months to live".
11 months out you book that trip to the tropical island etc. but the plane flight is awful, your symptoms flare up. Everyone is concerned. You barely leave your hotel room.
10 months out. Back at home feeling really bad now. Lots of crying relatives. 9 months out the symptoms have developed into the next stage. Spending lots of time visiting doctors and modifying your medication just to stay upright, eating, and alive.
7 months "this is a nightmare. I can't take this medication anymore. It's making my life a misery". More crying relatives.
Etc.
kayladon20@reddit
Step 1: divorce my husband Step 2: accumulate debt in ways that ensure a good future for him and our child Step 3: die peacefully knowing they are going to be ok
Optional step: take out some mega rich scumbags
SGTWhiteKY@reddit
If you have really good credit, the answer is take on debt that you die with. But honestly, most people can’t do that to a meaningful degree. If you don’t have an estate, at the very least live it up on credit cards.
I think someone else already suggested martyrdom…
Jurakhan@reddit
Get as much insurance as I could afford with as many providers as possible…then set up an escrow offshore Roth account where that money would go to at the time of my death.
Leave a will that specifies the particulars of that offshore account and how to retrieve that money 100 years from my death. That money has been growing tax-free for a century now…and leave it all to the one the descendant family member or friend ( there will be a list ) who is in the biggest financial hole at the time…to be determined by a paid 3rd party accountant firm.
I wanna be that kind of person, the one who saves the day for someone completely random and changes their life forever.
Grandma-Plays-FS22@reddit
I’d sort out and remove as much crap from my life as possible in order to not saddle my loved ones with it. Have been doing Swedish Death Cleaning for awhile now tho I currently have no terminal disease other than knowing I’m unlikely to last 15 more years.