my gen X teacher is always being called a creep
Posted by wolfic_lyfe@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 64 comments
at my high school (Australian high school) we have a science teacher (60 born 1965) who is very commonly called creep by students for the way that he speaks and acts
for example when he talks to students he will put his hand on our shoulder (as i am closer to him he will put his arm over my shoulders I am not uncomfortable with this) and he will call students 'love' and 'dear'.
is this a common problem among other gen x or older teachers?
StanleyQPrick@reddit
Am I missing something here? OP says "I am not uncomfortable with this," but everyone is telling them to report it. What's up with that?
wolfic_lyfe@reddit (OP)
I dont knowđ pretty much everyone disregarded it and jumped on the creep train i just wanted to know whether other gen X teachers acted this way and whether they also got unrightfully called creeps.
StanleyQPrick@reddit
I donât think what your teacher is doing is a Gen X thing, but if this thread is any indication, people of all ages are always ready to gossip about anyone acting differently to what they expect. And are awful at media literacy and reading in general.
wolfic_lyfe@reddit (OP)
Sounds like reddit tbh, makes sense.
og-lollercopter@reddit
I think they read it as âI am not comfortableâ. The double negative sentence construction confused me the first time. My eyes saw what they expected to follow the ânot.â
HippyDuck123@reddit
No⌠No, I definitely donât think this is a Gen X thing.
Some people are touchers when they talk, but like, we were the generation who grew up listening to Sting singing âDonât Stand so Close to Meâ. Normal GenXers, like the rest of adults, should understand that there are social boundaries and if we are crossing those boundaries and making people uncomfortable, then we need to change.
The_Burghanite@reddit
I agree that itâs not a Gen X thing. I donât understand the comment about the Police song â the song is literally about a (potentially) inappropriate student-teacher relationship. That sort of thing happened then and still does.
StanleyQPrick@reddit
Theyâre saying the same thing youâre saying. Did you read the whole comment?
The_Burghanite@reddit
Yes, I read the whole comment, but Iâm specifically questioning the part about how âwe were the generation that grew up listening to Sting sing âDonât Stand So Close to Me.ââ Makes no sense. As if listening to a former teacher sing about uncomfortable closeness (not just physical space) between he and a student would prevent that sort of thing happening. đ¤ˇââď¸
StanleyQPrick@reddit
It was very clear what you're questioning, but it remains unclear why. If you did read the very next sentence after the one that mentions the song, you'll see that the commenter is saying that that song, having been heard by all Gen Xers, should really serve to remind them about the regrettably real fact of predatory teachers, and prevent this kind of inappropriateness.
HippyDuck123@reddit
Re: The song, we grew up very aware of both the existence and impropriety of predatory teacher-student relationships.
ihatepickingnames_@reddit
We also listened to Every Breath You Take (Iâll be watching you).
habulous74@reddit
Don't Stand (So Close to Me)
GenX-ModTeam@reddit
Pertinence to GenX - Posts may be removed if they are not pertinent to Generation X in a specific way.
This includes non-specific ramblings, any sort of conspiracy theories that have nothing to do with GenX, or posts about people who happen to be GenXâŚ.and thatâs it.
yodamastertampa@reddit
Im GenX and I touch nobody but my wife. I touch her alot tho.
JoWhee@reddit
Same, because your wife it a hottie /s
You opened that door, I just had to walk through it.
yodamastertampa@reddit
Yep
Think_Secret_7315@reddit
Itâs a boomer thing. Heâs barely Gen X.
3ntr0py_@reddit
Thatâs not a Gen X thing, he sounds like a man thatâs overly touchy. Joe Biden does this.
GenX-ModTeam@reddit
No Politics - Political posts of any sort are not generally permitted outside of moderator created threads. If you wish to have political discussions, you can use our other sub r/GenXPolitics.
CallmeSlim11@reddit
Those kids are so fcked up.
Reader288@reddit
Trust your feelings.
Itâs always OK to have a boundary. And because heâs in a position of authority itâs even more important to draw hard boundary with a teacher thatâs perceived as a creep.
Stand at least 5 feet away from the guy. And let him know that you donât appreciate his hand on your shoulder or back. And you can remind him your name is not dear or sweetheart or honey.
And itâs important to let your parents know so they can talk to the principal. He needs to be careful. There have been so many horrendous stories of teachers grooming students. Itâs not appropriate and itâs not professional and itâs not safe for the students.
wolfic_lyfe@reddit (OP)
Yeah I'm not uncomfortable around him and actually quite enjoy his company It's the other students that call him a creep and i have been confused. From what other people have commented i am a bit worried though.
Reader288@reddit
Itâs understandable to feel worried. Based on the vibes that the other students are conveying. I would hope that they are not being malicious.
At the same time, itâs important to keep some distance.
Some teachers can be highly manipulative and deceptive.
FalseQuestion7864@reddit
It's sad that it is thought of this way.
I don't want to live in a world where people are so scared and constantly thinking the worst of other people.
I grew up with teachers who did this... people who acted like this. They were usually people I trusted, and I could tell who's a real creep and who's not.
The problem is not the teacher... if he's just being a normal and caring person... it's with people not knowing social ques nowadays and not being able to discern real creeps from normal people.
They're being told that this is creepy behavior, when in reality, it was normal human behavior for all of human civilization.
As a 47 year old man, I call people by terms of endearment... Darlin, buddy, sweetheart... it's a friendly way of communicating. If someone applies bad intentions to that, that is purely in their heads, and I genuinely feel sorry for them. I also touch people's shoulders when I talk to them sometimes... not strangers, but people I'm familiar with. If I was a teacher, I'd probably be smacking a guy on the back sometimes like I would my friend and calling the girls Darlin as an older gentleman. Just like when I was growing up and in school. There would be no inappropriate behavior or touching besides that or talking about things that are off limits. And I'm pretty sure that most kids would like and understand me, but there's always that one kid who doesn't understand real danger and real ceeepiness, and goes along with the whole 'It's creepy when someone looks you in the eyes' type of mentality. And that really makes me sad.
Kids these days really weren't raised right... no matter what you say, they couldn't have handled growing up in any era before this. They are kinda weak, and it's pretty much self-induced.
And before anyone wants to argue that I don't know what I'm talking about... I was messed with as a kid... I understand what real creepiness is. And it sounds like this teacher actually likes his students and cares about them. If I read that he touched them in certain places or talked about inappropriate things, I'd agree that he was creepy. Instead, it sounds more like the kids are creepy and don't know how to have meaningful human interactions with people.
wolfic_lyfe@reddit (OP)
Thank-you so much. Everyone else here has been calling him a creep and has been worrying.
FalseQuestion7864@reddit
Well... that seems to be the sentiment of the day.
My daughter came home from work telling me how this guy was creepy because he complimented her and was talking with her for a while. She worked at a grocery store, and she was 19 at the time. At first, the father in me was worried and getting kind of upset... but then I start finding out details. He's like 70 years old and basically said she had a pleasant way about her. Finally, I'm like... you probably reminded him of his daughter when she was your age or his granddaughter. I had to tell my daughter, You know, your dad... me... is a friendly person who talks to people in public all the time... men and women... young men and young women. I don't have any ulterior motives other than exchanging pleasantries and having a good time with people. Maybe that's what this older gentleman was doing when he's talking with you and complimenting you in such an innocuous way.
She told me about this other time when she was waiting in line at the airport where this guy asked her about some information... what flight? Do you know when this or that? And then made small talk with her while they waited. This is something that used to happen all the time years ago when I was coming up.
Now, I'm a decent looking guy, and can converse easily and naturally, so maybe I don't put people off, but I've encountered all kinds of people, and I've seen, without a doubt, how the younger Millennials and especially Older GenZ have started to lose the ability to talk naturally with strangers... and transferring that akwardness to those people who will go out of their way and cross that barrier.
I definitely know that creeps exist, but not everyone is one. Some people may just be socially awkward... that's fine... people who think everyone is creepy would fit into that category as well.
I don't want to harp on this subject... and maybe it's not quite as bad as I'm thinking... social media has a tendency to make things seem worse than they are. But, I know it's a thing, and I want younger people to actually live and know what's what... there's a real difference between 'Creepy' and people who do things differently. Just because you might not be comfortable interacting more personally with people doesn't mean those who can and do are weird or creepy.
I mean... I'm gonna be fine... I dated in a time when we had to approach girls and women and risk rejection face to face, and I did just fine. I want modern-day kids to have that confidence and courage, that's all.
I realize that you see your teacher for what he is... from what I gathered... a decent man who actually cares about his students and shows it by interacting with them... actually interacting with them in a human way.
I hear you, and my faith is renewed a bit... đ
Anyway... I'm officially an old man... a young old man... but, honestly... at 15 I was talking like this so I was born an old man.
But, hey... I'm a bit of a freak, so who knows.
Ok_Driver8646@reddit
Not a GenX trait
islandcatman@reddit
Oh, also. My experience with Gen X aussie blokes is that they are much more like boomers. Especially one born in 1965. I don't mean to generalize, but Australia is less progressive when it comes to treating people equally. Not that America does as a whole, either. Even a City like Sydney kinda like Simi Valley or Malibu as far as equal rights. (Look up Rodney King and watch the big Lebowski, gen X knowledge drop, USA edition)
swissie67@reddit
No. We are not a touchy generation.
zeldasusername@reddit
Politely ask him to respect your personal space and tell your parents
If this doesn't work tell a female teacher
Does he do it to the boys?
wolfic_lyfe@reddit (OP)
Does it to everyone, he has stopped when students ask him to. I don't really mind it nor am i made uncomfortable by it. The other teachers know about this too as he acts the same with them.
zeldasusername@reddit
Oh. Okay? What's the problem then?
wolfic_lyfe@reddit (OP)
My question was whether other gen X teachers acted this way and whether they got unfairly called creeps
islandcatman@reddit
I do not do that sort of stuff. The X in GenX means you can't group use together. I call out creeps, too. No permission, no touching, basic.
wolfic_lyfe@reddit (OP)
I wasn't trying to group everyone together i was just wondering whether it's more common among you guys since you guys grew up in a different time to myself and the kids at my school so what may be normal for you guys might not be normal for us .
islandcatman@reddit
It was normal for creepy guys to be creeps, yes. A lot of what kids enjoy now started during the time of GenX. Feminism and equality are fairly new ideas, yes. I had the privilege to grow up with both of them. And so do you! I hope those around you share those concepts as well.
CarisaDaGal@reddit
This is not a Gen X thing. Why would it be? I literally never see this happening among other Gen Xers. He just doesnât have good boundaries
wolfic_lyfe@reddit (OP)
I have noticed a pattern with older teachers at my own and other schools that are around his age and other students have mentioned they think its because he is older that he acts like this and i wanted to clarify it by asking people who would've grown up around the same time i wasn't trying to make it a gen X thing. Sorry for making it seem that way.
porkchopespresso@reddit
If you think a dude might be a creep, trust your instincts. He may not be a creep, but at worst you keep your distance from a guy that you donât want to be around. You donât owe him any benefit of the doubt.
wolfic_lyfe@reddit (OP)
I don't necessarily think he is a creep and i do happen to like him but it's the other students that have been calling him a creep and claiming these behaviours make them uncomfortable.
No_Consequence_6821@reddit
In the US, teachers arenât really allowed to touch students anymore, even like that. I donât see this as typical for Gen X. My teachers didnât really do this growing up, and if they had, we would have said they were creepy.
Nandi_La@reddit
Not a gen x thing. at least not for Americans like me who are consent and trauma informed. Touching a person who is your student or co-worker or whatever is so weird to me. I think it's also creepy to put a term of affection on that touching. That dude needs boundaries.
Beliliou74@reddit
Love and dear are terms of endearment and yes when we were growing up it was common for people to place their hands on you when talking if they know you well
But this doesnât matter. And we donât know if this is the same with your situation. If youâre uncomfortable tell them politely not to touch you.
If it continues report him to the office and make sure to let your parents know
scotty813@reddit
It has always been my understanding that putting your hand on someone's shoulder is like saying, "I understand the issue that you are having, and I am going to try to help you resolve it." This it is intended to reassure the person who needs help. If it is instead making people uncomfortable, then it should be discontinued.
I use the term 'dear' during interactions, with cashiers, tellers, etc. Now, it is true that I only use it with women, because I think that if I said to a young man, it may make him uncomfortable. BTW, if anyone ever tried to shame me for being sexist, I would simply state the truth, "As a fellow human making your way, you are 'dear' to me."
Recon_Figure@reddit
Agreed. The teacher-student relationship can be parental, but there's no reason the school shouldn't respectfully correct the teacher for it. When innocent, it's just a different way of doing things. But it should be stopped, and monitored for recurrence.
MaximillianRebo@reddit
I've taught music in Australian schools. More than 20 years ago there were teacher seminars on how you should not make physical contact with a student unless it's absolutely necessary and when you do - for example in music to correct or demonstrate issues with posture and technique - you basically have to get consent.
More recently there's been seminars about appropriate/inappropriate language and communication between teachers and students.
Unless your teacher is someone who taught when they were young and took a long break before returning to teaching and somehow missed all of these changes to teacher conduct expectations, what they're doing would not be acceptable in a modern classroom.
IllustriousEast4854@reddit
No. This sounds creepy.
Waffuru@reddit
Nope, that's creepy to us, too. But, I mean, that's really early Gen X, right on the cusp of Boomer. I can't imagine anyone around my age (1974) being like that. XD I CAN, however, imagine Boomers being like that, because I had teachers who did that, too. They usually got the drift when I would cringe away.
I will say, though, I think that's more a product of upbringing than generation.
Mental-Claim5827@reddit
We are not like that. Gen X is more standoffish. In any case, his behavior crosses the boundaries of what is appropriate in a school setting.
Whovian73@reddit
Iâm Gen X and had an old chemistry that did stuff like this. He would massage students shoulders. He also dropped a large metal pole on the concrete floor behind anyone that fell asleep in class.
root_fifth_octave@reddit
Our teacher who massaged students was a pervert.
AssMonkeyDumb@reddit
What is up with creep chemistry teachers? Mine was removed mid-year, after so many years of being a problem. I was even contacted by the Department of Education to let them know what I'd seen. And the shit need pull, too! Drop a pencil under a girl's desk if she was wearing a skirt. As a girl to pick up the pencil of she was wearing a loose fitting shirt. Countless non-subtle references to what he wanted from the women. And on and on and on. Any girl named Kate? He'd say, "kiss me, Kate," and then explain that he was talking about the movie. Such a goddamn creep!
root_fifth_octave@reddit
He might be a creep, but maybe just a weirdo.
nearly_enough_wine@reddit
Australian here - that teacher is pushing the bounds of familiarity with that language. The contact is also extremely unprofessional.
FalseQuestion7864@reddit
It's sad that it is thought of this way.
I don't want to live in a world where people are so scared and constantly thinking the worst of other people.
I grew up with teachers who did this... people who acted like this. They were usually people I trusted, and I could tell who's a real creep and who's not.
The problem is not the teacher... if he's just being a normal and caring person... it's with people not knowing social ques nowadays and not being able to discern real creeps from normal people.
They're being told that this is creepy behavior, when in reality, it was normal human behavior for all of human civilization.
As a 47 year old man, I call people by terms of endearment... Darlin, buddy, sweetheart... it's a friendly way of communicating. If someone applies bad intentions to that, that is purely in their heads, and I genuinely feel sorry for them. I also touch people's shoulders when I talk to them sometimes... not strangers, but people I'm familiar with. If I was a teacher, I'd probably be smacking a guy on the back sometimes like I would my friend and calling the girls Darlin as an older gentleman. Just like when I was growing up and in school. There would be no inappropriate behavior or touching besides that or talking about things that are off limits. And I'm pretty sure that most kids would like and understand me, but there's always that one kid who doesn't understand real danger and real ceeepiness, and goes along with the whole 'It's creepy when someone looks you in the eyes' type of mentality. And that really makes me sad.
Kids these days really weren't raised right... no matter what you say, they couldn't have handled growing up in any era before this. They are kinda weak, and it's pretty much self-induced.
And before anyone wants to argue that I don't know what I'm talking about... I was messed with as a kid... I understand what real creepiness is. And it sounds like this teacher actually likes his students and cares about them. If I read that he touched them in certain places or talked about inappropriate things, I'd agree that he was creepy. Instead, it sounds more like the kids are creepy and don't know how to have meaningful human interactions with people.
Ask-8922@reddit
No touching! Thatâs the first rule of teaching. NO TOUCHING STUDENTS. And itâs the first rule of being an adult. NO TOUCHING MINORS. This has nothing to do with him being GenX and âit was okay back in our days.â It has everything to do with âitâs 2025 and this is incredibly inappropriate and potentially illegal behavior.â Say no. Report to parents, school admin, and police.
raerae1991@reddit
Gen X here, and that wasnât even common when we were in school, especially high school. Maybe in elementary we got a pat on the back or hair ruffled if we were crying or made a home run or something. Language in terms of endearment might be a little different. A âwhat is it dearâ, or so âsorry sweetieâ could be a regional thing. I had a co-worker from the UK and he used Love all the time, with everyone. It was basically a gender neutral pronoun for him, and he was younger than Gen x
TheFermiGreatFilter@reddit
Aussie Gen X woman here. Now, I am very much like this, but never in a professional setting. You and a couple of friends should maybe approach him and tell him that it is inappropriate and is making many of the others feel uncomfortable. He may not realise he is doing it.
ButâŚ. He could be a creep. Still, I do think that making him aware of how he is making students feel (politely), is the way to go. If he ignores you etc, then make a complaint to the principal. If that doesnât work, make a complaint to the Department of Education.
FedUp0000@reddit
Na he may be genX but he sounds like he is a creep first and foremost
Sufficient-Regular72@reddit
That's not a Gen X thing, just inappropriate in my opinion.
Demonae@reddit
Ugh... I don't care if it was normal in his time, he needs to adapt to the now.
I would never touch anyone without their express permission and I wouldn't ask for that unless it was like an emergency or something.
I can't think of any reason I'd touch a teenager other than maybe a handshake, and even then only if like they initiated it.
One_Local5586@reddit
Sounds like a creep
NVJAC@reddit
I don't know if it's a "common problem", but yeah he definitely should not be doing that.
I get that some people are more touchy-feely, but a teacher shouldn't be laying hands on a student except in rare circumstances, like if they're doubling up as an athletic coach and they're showing a player proper technique or something. Keep it professional.