Full on assault at the mailbox.

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Likely_A_Martian@reddit

I'm approaching 60 and started getting mortuary flyers. I'm like fuck you. I'm not gonna die till I'm 100.

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doubleohzerooo0@reddit

Haha! Joke's on you, fuckers! (the mortuary vultures)

I'm a vet. The VA will cover my funeral expenses IF/WHEN I die.

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Likely_A_Martian@reddit

My union has me covered, too. Even after I retire.

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ONROSREPUS@reddit

Those are the ones I REALLY hate. I have gotten a couple of those but still no AARP. My younger wife gets those. I feel like there is a sign there some place but I am not understanding it yet.

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anOnionFinelyMinced@reddit

Don't knock it, friend. My home insurance was set to double this year. AARP discount got me similar coverage with only a small increase. Saved my keester.

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MooseBlazer@reddit

Hey there!……Your current insurance agent accepted an AARP discount.? Or are you actually getting your insurance from AARP? 🤔

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anOnionFinelyMinced@reddit

AARP has an offer thru The Hartford. I've never used an agent. The last agent I called couldn't get me anything better than what I already had.

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MooseBlazer@reddit

Oh, I use insurance brokers to find the lowest price among many different insurance company so that’s probably still much cheaper, thanks anyway

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Apprehensive_Toe1735@reddit

I rip mine up in itty bitty pieces.. the nerve!!

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atowntommy@reddit

But the AARP is dedicated to preserving the status quo!

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modernistamphibian@reddit

You've just come up with your arthritic bar cover band name. Assault at the Mailbox. What songs will you be performing at the Depends a Go Go next Tuesday? (Hottest night of the week.)

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Commercial-Novel-786@reddit

Smells Like Vicks Vaporub

Enter Bedpan

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icedragon71@reddit

Paradise City Retirement Home

Livin' on a diet.

Enter Sandman (at 9pm)

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MarvinHeemeyersTank@reddit

Tour sponsored by Ben Gay and Copperfit.

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5_head@reddit

Just so long as it's over by 4. Don't wanna miss those early bird dinner specials.

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New York's hottest club is Geriatricks. Located in an abandoned Blockbuster, this club has everything.-- IcyHot hand jobs, Liza Minnelli impersonators, and the gerbil that used to live in Richard Gere's butt.

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Cool-Group-9471@reddit

ROFL

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kOobleck@reddit

My husband joined and couldn’t believe I absolutely refused. “But, but there’s discounts” he said. I replied that I’ll never be old enough to join.

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bughunter_@reddit

You and me both.

If they rename it to "American Association of Cool Grandparents" or something, I might consider it.

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theShpydar@reddit

Haha! It was just my 50th bday this week, and not only did they send it to me a few weeks early, but they sent a second one that arrived on the day! 😆

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bughunter_@reddit

Same, they managed to time it to arrive ON my 50th birthday. (That was 10 years ago.)

Someone needs to explain to them that that is NOT effective marketing.

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Short_Advance_7843@reddit

This is clearly a terrorist organization!

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Tasunka_Witko@reddit

I thought you were gonna say someone put a turd in your mailbox.

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ONROSREPUS@reddit

Isn't that suppose to be in a flaming bag on the front step?

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Tasunka_Witko@reddit

Like the principal in Ferris Bueller's Day Off

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Cheekyngeekygirl@reddit

You qualify for an AARP membership at 19. They make great 21st birthday 🎁.

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debinprogress@reddit

We get a lot for retirement communities in the area. Lol. My husband just turned 48, and I’ll be 50 this year. They’re mostly in his name so I tease him about it.

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Ok-Rock2345@reddit

AARP has been chasing me for years, but I keep evading them.

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ONROSREPUS@reddit

Still young enough for the chuck n jive!

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Weird-Girl-675@reddit

I got one, but it was addressed to Andres not Andrea so it wasn’t for me.

And that’s the story I’m sticking to.

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ONROSREPUS@reddit

return to sender!

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PimpofScrimp@reddit

Cmon Andrea

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Weird-Girl-675@reddit

Nope. No Andres here.

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Educational_Seat3201@reddit

They offer some pretty good discounts!

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Aircooled2088@reddit

I pull the “Don’t question my authority, I’m a AARP member.” at work…..lol

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Efficient_Face_5624@reddit

Wait till you start getting senior citizen discounts at stores. "Take that off please, I'M NOT 65."

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MooseBlazer@reddit

Goodwill thrift stores has senior discounts after 55 . actually asked for it and had to show my ID. I no longer give a fuck.

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fildoforfreedom@reddit

I got a cremation service card in the mail this week. I dont even turn 50 until later this year!

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Commercial-Novel-786@reddit

Any minute now I'll get my first "burn and urn" advert. They can kiss my ash.

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MooseBlazer@reddit

Well, they think you’re a hot piece of ash.

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AnonomissX@reddit

Yup! Wait until you get your first mail from The Neptune Society!

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fildoforfreedom@reddit

Lol

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2_Bagel_Dog@reddit

Get ready - once they start sending you mail it just keeps going and going and going...

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No_Comedian2991@reddit

Write on the front of the envelope, “Refused. Return to sender.”

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tracerhaha@reddit

I’m named after my dad and was receiving mailers from AARP when I was a teenager. Now I’m getting mailers for retirement communities.

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scotty813@reddit

I joined to get the cheaper auto insurance, but the application required completing a paper form and mail it in. That was a few years ago, but very Boomer.

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janyva@reddit

Hopefully the senior retirement communities haven't discovered you yet. The mailers depict you're missing out.

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TSisold@reddit

Go ahead and open it, you get movie discounts.

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mark2203-@reddit

I’ve been getting AARP stuff in the mail since I was 35. I think 1yr away from being able to order a senior slam at Denny’s and looking for that AARP letter in the mailbox.

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DoomsdayMachineInc@reddit

Meh. What, it’s lying?

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phironuthi@reddit

gif

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red08171@reddit

My wife started getting them at 35. I, 2 years older, going on 50, still haven't gotten any.

I still joke with her when she gets another one.

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ThatTravel5692@reddit

Just wait until you get offers for both AARP and Cremation Services on the same day

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Wild_Bag465@reddit

The cremation place offered a free lunch …

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No-Clue4432@reddit

Bruh, hate to tell you,you're old

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Auntie_Venom@reddit

Not AARP… I was at Savers the other day looking for yellow depression glass. I didn’t find anything worth bringing home, but I did get a few other treasures.

The girl popped over to the SCO and gave me the 30% senior discount… I’m 48 and look 35 still! (Really!) I was thankful and devastated at the same time!

I keep telling myself it’s because it was Senior Tuesday, and pretty much everyone in there was older and asking for them to key in the discount and she was on a roll giving it to everyone that was an adult.

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hells_cowbells@reddit

I don't give a damn how old somebody thinks I am if they give me a 30% discount.

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Top-Alfalfa-4278@reddit

Preach it! Amen and hallelujah 🙌 hahaha

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Auntie_Venom@reddit

Oh I was thankful! I spent way more than I had planned… It made a nice dent in the total!

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hells_cowbells@reddit

Excellent! A lowly 10% discount might have offended me, but 30%? I can swallow my pride for that. :)

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Affectionate-Map2583@reddit

Well, get used to it. They will try to wear you down by sending you stuff at least once a month from now on, presumably until your death or sometime thereafter.

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fohktor@reddit

Are you sure it's not your Punky Brewster Fan Club membership card in the wrong envelope?

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69hornedscorpio@reddit

My kids have memberships, they say the discount are awesome. I still don’t have a membership.

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Particular-Agent4407@reddit

Wait until you get close to 65 and see the deluge of mail the medicare supplement companies start. Wait, why am I in this sub?

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Junior_Historian_123@reddit

I get them already because of my medical issues. Like dudes, I’m working still!

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Lazy-Rush1111@reddit

AARP reached out to me a week before my 50th. Within a week of turning 50 I got a small package from HMO….time to do fecal tests. Fun stuff.

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jIdiosyncratic@reddit

I got my first AARP notice when I turned 30. I put it up in my cube to show everyone. We all got a good laugh. They were confused about my name because it is too close to my Dad's who was over 50. Now that I'm legit on it there doesn't seem like there are that many benefits.

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Ok_Split_6463@reddit

I'm 4 yrs older than my girl. Just turned 48. She has been getting stuff from aarp for 7-8 yrs. I have not received anything, yet.

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Pinchaser71@reddit

They sent it to me when I turned 40! Wife thought it was the funniest thing ever! I’m 54 now and I don’t get anything from them🤣

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Nick_Fotiu_Is_God@reddit

They probably accept people at 25 now.

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michihunt1@reddit

I threw that shit in the garbage as soon as it arrived. Idk who tf they thought they were talking to

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jennifer_m13@reddit

That was meant for your parents, they just got the name and address wrong 🤭

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MissySedai@reddit

Sign up and enjoy the discounts. The money I saved with my AARP discounts over the past 2 years is paying for a family trip to Parc Omega in December.

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