ULPT: Want people to leave you alone at the gym? Just grunt after everything

Posted by microsoft171@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 34 comments

Not just lifting. I’m talking stretching? Grunt. Sipping water? Grunt. Adjusting your headphones? Grunt.

They’ll either think you’re ultra focused or slightly unhinged. Either way: uninterrupted workouts achieved.

Bonus points if you throw in a dramatic “LET’S GOOOO” after re-racking a 5lb dumbbell.

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super_sayanything@reddit

Just don't be attractive!

Honestly though, I've never seen anyone "bother" anyone in the gyms I've been at no matter what they did or looked like. Is this a real thing even?

But I'd think if you were an attractive girl, drawing attention in any way like that would make people make a comment to you.

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WellThyChipmunk17@reddit

It’s a real thing.

I was running on a treadmill (this was some years back) and I got a “damnnnnn LA face with an Oakland booty”

Felt conflicted because I appreciated the song reference

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Yea I mean but you're referencing one time from probably someone pretty obnoxious. 99% of the time that does not happen. Now are people looking... yes, especially if things are tight and revealing but that's just human nature.

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WellThyChipmunk17@reddit

Oh I mean, I don’t get offended. I don’t require a trigger warning for men checking out my ass. It’s happened more than once.

I was just responding to the comment above that you never saw it happen. Doesn’t mean it hasn’t 🤷🏼‍♀️

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super_sayanything@reddit

lol for sure, sorry generalization really.

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ArmThePhotonicCannon@reddit

I have a feeling this wouldn’t work well for women

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beautifulterribleqn@reddit

It does for me, but I'm fifty and have a good rbf already.

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Ed_95@reddit

Maybe they should fart insted

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ArmThePhotonicCannon@reddit

Until ‘that one guy’ notices, then it’s worse.

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notislant@reddit

Reminds me of the ass sniffer video at the gym lol. Janitor or PT or some shit caught on camera.

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femininal@reddit

Exactly what I was thinking. Would likely they'd not leave you alone

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lazylahma@reddit

I’ve found simply refusing eye contact goes a long way in avoiding interactions, especially with random people

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Independent-Film-251@reddit

You guys go out of your way to avoid eye contact?

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WellThyChipmunk17@reddit

I also invoke my autism whenever I feel like “nah…”

Being an “odd bird” can have its perks

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bigfatfurrytexan@reddit

I’m 53, so is my wife. After baby sitting our 2 year old nephew a few days he started grunting with everything like us. Standing up, bending over, reaching…it all hurts a bit and I’m audible

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spiritchange@reddit

"LIGHT WEIGHT BABBBBYYYY!!!!" Also works wonders. Unless you're next to Ronnie.

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WellThyChipmunk17@reddit

I have literally never heard anyone except my brother use that phrase. You made my night

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spiritchange@reddit

YEAHHHH BUDDYYYYY!

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AtiumMist@reddit

Reading this at the gym, thanks

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AmazingLie54@reddit

Don't forget to grunt when you are done

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AmazingLie54@reddit

Grunt? Grunt.

Gruntception.

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lonelygalexy@reddit

Moan maybe better

gif

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Mean-Arachnid-1723@reddit

I sneeze or cough randomly.

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con_ker@reddit

Or just smell bad cuz I stay 20 ft away from them

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tilldeathdoiparty@reddit

Tell me you just finished your first day at the gym with out saying it was your first day at the gym

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Splinktor@reddit

Word of warning. If you grunt too much people might mistake your panic when you need help.

Almost ignored a guy who was loosing his fight with gravity because it sounded like his other 3 sets.

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dirtymoney@reddit

I am not a gym goer, so what is going on in gyms where people are bothering you?

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SuitableExercise7096@reddit

Just cough for unnecessarily long. People will avoid you like the plague.

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ImOldGregg_77@reddit

I just wear tight compression shorts and stuff a potatoe down them.....but in the back

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StacyWithoutAnE@reddit

This is the NUMBER ONE reason I'm putting together a home gym.

The whole grunt loud, scream like you're being tortured, moan like you're having a painful orgasm while lifting weights is so tiresome.

Also, these knuckle-dragging, Cro-Magnon, mouth-breathing dullards judge you if you don't lift as much as you do with no thought to what you may have endured to push yourself enough to make it to the gym.

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