Men tend to be external problem solvers which is why they're quicker to turn to the gym or alcohol when they need to cope with their problems. So a lot of guys will put in a lot of effort to change themselves externally which helps them out a lot since they're in better shape, have a better job, and all the status symbols they can hope for sans a girlfriend. They don't always come to realize they're actually unhappy because they haven't done any of the internal work and their future wife isn't showing up because they still haven't figured themselves out. Some guys have the opposite problem where they figured themselves out and are way happier for it, but they're still at that desk job living in that cramped apartment.

There's also a degree of these types of guys attracting women into transactional relationships where they get used for their external benefits like a house, then when the relationship comes to an end because of something they don't see within themselves they come to the conclusion women only operate off of transactional relationships. Then that creates a cycle where you will only attract transactional people because those are the only people that exist in your mind. It takes a certain type of mind to realize you live in a black iron prison.