Do you have thoughts on this letter to the parents of the house behind mine after repeated ball kicking at my property?

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Paperboy63@reddit

Everyone has a right to undisturbed peace in their own home. The problem should be diplomatically pointed out to the parents, they may be unaware of the extent of the problem. If it does not get resolved then it is reportable to EH (Environmental Health) who will monitor and record the noise and it is also reportable to the local authority as an Anti Social Behaviour offence should it need to go that far.

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LocalTradition4337@reddit

I'm going to go completely against the tide here and say I think living in the world means we all just have to put up with things like this. I don't think it's reasonable to expect people to be quiet in their own gardens and not kick a football against a wall because it bothers another person. I understand that you are autistic and it might be more bothersome because of it, but in honesty, you'd be better off getting advice on coping mechanisms when things like this happen. Because this kind of thing will keep happening throughout your life and you don't get to control what other people do (especially if it's not illegal) but only how you deal with it. However, that said, if it happens for hours a day, explain to the parents verbally and see if they will get their son to reduce the amount of ball playing. Most people are quite reasonable so explain your particular circumstance and see if you can come up with a reasonable solution that gives everyone a little of what they need. That's more likely to be successful than a note in my opinion.

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GruffScottishGuy@reddit

It's not just "a wall" it's the wall of their own home. There's nothing unreasonable about asking somebody to not thump against your wall, especially when it's so load.

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LocalTradition4337@reddit

Respectfully, I disagree.

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Pluribus7158@reddit

Respectfully, you're wrong.

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LocalTradition4337@reddit

Assuming correctness about something that has no intrinsic right or wrong answer, but is based on opinion, is not respectful. So you may as well leave the 'respectfully' out of your response. I don't mind that you don't agree. Respectfully or otherwise. Disagreeing is your prerogative entirely. And mine.

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Paperboy63@reddit

Everyone has a right to undisturbed peace in their own home. The problem should be diplomatically pointed out to the parents, they may be unaware of the problem. If it does not get resolved then it is reportable to EH (Environmental Health) who will monitor and record it and it is also reportable to the local authority as an Anti Social Behaviour offence should it need to go that far.

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No_Software3435@reddit

I’d tell them you are not well too.

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bishibashi@reddit

Personally I’d knock on the door and talk to them, but I understand that’s not easy for everyone. If I got that letter my kid would be in big trouble and you’d get an apology and gift, but not everyone’s as well brunged up as wot I am.

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SpaceWomble64@reddit

You do sound proper brunged up 🙂

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i_sesh_better@reddit

I’d just change ‘your teenager’ to ‘your son/daughter’. Being specific with ‘teenager’ reads a little as complaining about the youfs

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RPG_Rob@reddit

If the child's name is known, it would be much better to use that.

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professoryaffle72@reddit

I'd knock on the door and just be polite. Most reasonable people will be embarrassed and sort it out.

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External_City9144@reddit

This is how every neighbour from hell story starts lol

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Friendly-Handle-2073@reddit

Dear..... I hope this note finds you well. I just wanted to kindly mention something that’s been happening lately and ask for your help. The football often ends up being kicked toward my property (the house directly behind yours), and it's been quite loud when it hits the wall or the doors. A few times, it's even landed on my terrace, and once someone attempted to climb up to retrieve it—which was a bit unexpected! I’ve mentioned it a few times to your kids and I completely understand that they’re just out enjoying themselves—no harm meant at all. It’s just that the repeated noise has become quite disruptive inside the house and I’d really appreciate it if we could avoid kicking the ball in that direction going forward. Thanks so much for your understanding, and please don’t hesitate to pop over if you’d like to chat about it. I really do appreciate your time. Warm regards, InsolventAttendant (The house behind)

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InsolventAttendant22@reddit (OP)

I like the wording of this, thank you

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BusyWorth8045@reddit

You can just use Chat GPT. Tell it what you want it to write, in what style (brief, polite, assertive) etc and then tweak the content to your preference.

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lysergic101@reddit

Why not have some fun instead, scrap the letter and have yourself a game of spot the ball. Glue a drawing pin to the side of the wall and await to see if you guessed correctly where the ball will hit, you win when it pops.

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dani-dee@reddit

I’d personally make it a bit more “friendly” in case the implied tone of the note causes them to get their backs up. Hey, I live in the house at the back of you and I know your son/daughter enjoys playing football outside, but there’s been a couple of incidents recently of him/her kicking the ball repeatedly against my wall. Not only is it making a huge amount of noise inside but there’s been a couple of occasions where the ball has either landed on my terrace and he/she’s tried to climb up to retrieve it or it’s hit my glass doors. I have had a quick word with him/her about this and asked if they can please be mindful of the noise it causes. I’m also worried that if he/she tries to climb the terrace again to retrieve the ball when I’m not home to grab it for him/her, that he/she may fall and hurt him/her self. Just thought I’d let you know that I’ve spoken to him/her and would really appreciate it if you could have a word with them also. Thanks!

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Froggatt34@reddit

Okay, here is a draft letter to your neighbours, aiming to be as nice as possible while explaining the situation. [Your Name] [Your House Number and Street Name] [Your Town/City] [Your Postcode] [Your Email Address - Optional] [Your Phone Number - Optional] [Date] [Neighbours' Names - If you know them, otherwise "To Our Neighbours at [Their House Number]"] [Their House Number and Street Name] [Their Town/City] [Their Postcode] Dear [Neighbours' Names / Our Neighbours], Hope you are all having a good week. I'm writing to you about something a little delicate, and I really hope you understand. I've been home sick for the past [mention a duration, e.g., few days/week], and unfortunately, the noise from the children kicking the football against the adjoining wall has been a bit much while I'm trying to recover. Please know I absolutely love hearing the kids having fun in the garden – it's wonderful to hear them enjoying themselves! However, with me feeling under the weather, the constant thudding against the wall is unfortunately making my symptoms a little worse and making it difficult to rest. I completely understand that kids will be kids and need to burn off energy, and I'm certainly not trying to stop them from playing. I was just hoping we might be able to find a small adjustment, perhaps finding another spot for their football games that doesn't involve the shared wall, just while I'm feeling poorly? I'm really sorry to have to bring this up, and I truly appreciate your understanding. Hopefully, I'll be back on my feet soon and this won't be an issue for much longer! Thanks so much for your consideration and for being such lovely neighbours. Warmly, [Your Name]

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PorkyLingers@reddit

Well written and not antagonistic, post it and if there's no improvement just keep the ball next time it comes over and tell them to fuck off.

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TastyComfortable2355@reddit

Or stick a knife in and tell them it hit the garden fork.

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IntrovertSim@reddit

https://preview.redd.it/zyxveylzve1f1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=daa1e52b7121c7fc243ff75184d0847eeffec3bc Get a sign from Amazon. Might work if the kids think it’s official.

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Unusual_residue@reddit

This is unlikely to end well.

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pajamakitten@reddit

It is polite and to the point. Whether the parents care will depend on them though. I can see some parents reading this and just throwing it away, thinking that you are too soft to approach them face to face.

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whosUtred@reddit

FWIW I used to be a kid who kicked a ball against a house with my mates, the guy came out & invited us to his family BBQ they were having while we were doing it, was super friendly, gave us some burgers & cans of coke, then after while just mentioned politely how annoying the ball kicking was. We never did it after this. Not saying this will work for you, just that there’s more than one way to skin a car

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FlightSimmerUK@reddit

Yeah, OP, don’t invite the kids around for a bbq.

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Beebeeseebee@reddit

No but handing them some cans of coke or something over the fence as a preamble to asking them to cease and desist probably wouldn't be a bad shout.

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FlightSimmerUK@reddit

Yeah, OP, don’t hand the kids cans of Coca Cola.

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itsYaBoiga@reddit

Oi mate can i have some of your coke?!

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SurpriseEast3924@reddit

I dunno.... you just have to make sure they are done all the way through.

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whosUtred@reddit

Yeah tbf this was in the late 80’s, different times!

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westy1980@reddit

I feel your pain. Used to live end terrace, all the teenagers would play football against the house 24/7, our only escape was to move 🙁

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Medical_Divide9624@reddit

Just pop it and say it went into a different property.

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Tim-Sanchez@reddit

They'll obviously just buy another ball and probably do it even more because you've soured the relationship

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Medical_Divide9624@reddit

Keep popping them then. If someone asked me not to kick a ball into their property even after 2/3 times and they ignored me it's already soured. A letter isn't going to do anything, in all probability they'll just laugh at OP. Absolutely guarantee they won't buy 30 balls to keep pissing someone off.

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Tim-Sanchez@reddit

They've spoken to a teenager, not the parents. I don't think endless property damage is any sort of solution for OP, and will just mean they're the one that gets in trouble if it escalates.

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Medical_Divide9624@reddit

Imagine if the teenagers had realized that they shouldn't be doing it. No one would need to write letters. OP's already spoken to the kids doing it, they should be respectful. If my kid had had their ball popped because they kept doing it after they'd been told not I'd just tell them it's their own fault for being a little wanker.

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Tim-Sanchez@reddit

Presumably you'd also respond well to a polite letter?

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Medical_Divide9624@reddit

The kids would get more of bollocking. But I'd rather they had real world implications to their actions than a telling off. There's lesser consequences than fuck around and finding out. It's really hard to imagine that people get taught a lesson for shitty behavior though.

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Buddy-Matt@reddit

Yes, because "start a feud with your neighbour" is the correct response to someone trying to write a polite letter.

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WaltzFirm6336@reddit

Here’s what I’ve learnt in life: people do not like being told what to do. However, people do like looking after themselves and their own interests. Could you explain that the kid kicking the ball is something that could cause harm to the kid or the parents? Rather than it being “This thing upsets me and is all about me…” [ Which is fair btw but not going to resolve the issue] Make it “Hi guys, this really bad thing is about to happen and as a good neighbour I’m reaching out to save you time and money.” Some ideas: The kid is getting dangerously close to being showered in glass and you’re worried it might harm them. The landlord has made it clear he will come after the parents for costs if the window breaks and you’d hate them to have to pay [if you own, do they know that without looking at the title deeds? If not, make up a big bad landlord you are trying to protect them from.] Without more details I can’t think of anything else off the top of my head. But you get the idea.

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SuuperD@reddit

Wall of spikes!

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Buddy-Matt@reddit

I'd leave out the last paragraph personally. You shouldn't need to tell reasonable people you need peace in your own house - and the note about "perhaps the impact hasn't been understood" could be interpreted as being a little condescending. Just the first paragraph outlining the facts starting with "please stop" should be sufficient. Especially if the parents are unaware you've asked 4 times for it to stop.

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Alarmed-Cheetah-1221@reddit

>You shouldn't need to tell reasonable people You're still assuming the average person is reasonable?

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Buddy-Matt@reddit

That's sort of my extended point. You don't need to tell reasonable people, and unreasonable people will just be... Well, unreasonable, about it.

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Alarmed-Cheetah-1221@reddit

Now that's a fair point

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FirefighterOld2230@reddit

I'm too short tempered to be so polite these days... Well played you, very well written. As someone with kids and with memories of being a kid i feel this is a reasonable request.

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InsolventAttendant22@reddit (OP)

I did tell him he was really pissing me off when he hit my glass doors like...

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Impressive-Type3250@reddit

would piss off any reasonable person tbf

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FirefighterOld2230@reddit

Quite right, it's not nice being confrontational with people but it's something I have improved at the closer I get to 50.

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Impressive-Type3250@reddit

the letter seems perfectly reasonable. kids today have no respect. neither do the parents

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Danglyweed@reddit

Im not sure if id send that note tbh, depends on the parents. Do you know them? My sons pal used to come in our garden and kick the ball off the house wall and metal fence, it was absolute torture hearing it. Bought them goals and it's been silence since. Granted we have a large green out the front so plenty space for goals. So if you can afford just £20/30 buy one and give it to him and explain.

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BeatificBanana@reddit

Nah, you won't get anywhere with that letter. It comes across too passive aggressive and rude. Knock on their door and have a friendly chat with the parents instead.

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merlin8922g@reddit

Did you just say buy the annoying teenager cool stuff after you've already asked several times to stop and they've ignored you? Pfffft, yeah right. Good luck with that!

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BeatificBanana@reddit

That's what I said!

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NaomiBK29@reddit

I don’t think it’s rude at all. If I got that letter, I’d be having a word with my son and it wouldn’t be happening again. I appreciate not everyone will react the same but there’s nothing rude about OP’s letter.

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BeatificBanana@reddit

Maybe rude is the wrong word actually. More whiney than rude. In any case - I know many many people who'd get funny with them if they sent a letter like that. Especially when they could easily just knock on the door and have a chat.

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Blayd9@reddit

If you've spoken to the teen 4 times, you should just knock on the door and speak to the parents. Notes are infinitely more likely to piss the parents off than someone politely explaining their grievance. And way less likely to result in any change.

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ClearWhiteLightPt2@reddit

Keep a copy of the letter and log the date it was sent. Otherwise, I think you've been polite and explained the problem well.

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Deep_Banana_6521@reddit

I'd knock on. It's overly formal which is kinda passive aggressive. Just explain that you're ill and usually wouldn't mind but it's been OTT recently and otherwise you might have to contact the council as it's making your condition a bit worse having the noise. then the next step would be to contact the council about a noise complaint. let them sort it out (it might take a while). I'd definitely avoid the letter sending. Mystery option C is to go full crazy-old-man-next-door mode and if it gets kicked over your fence, burst the ball and chuck the deflated ball back over your fence.

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zone6isgreener@reddit

Talk to the parents. Notes rarely go down well and typically piss people off.

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-qqqwwweeerrrtttyyy-@reddit

A letter like that would make many parents side with their child. HoW dArE yOu CriTiSiZe HiM?! I feel for you; the noise would annoy me too. But I feel for the kid who mightnt be allowed to play at the park or on video games or climb trees or whatever else and is just trying to be a kid before life takes over. I think maybe offering to go halves in a net or some foam to absorb the sound would be good gesture. Maybe planting something along the back fence if you're not renting to make scaling the fence more difficult. Maybe noise cancelling headphones for yourself or play music/watch TV or if we'll enough, take a walk. Keep in mind that the summer holidays are almost here and they may do this for longer periods. You don't want to get into an argument in time for 6 weeks of constant kicking.

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PraterViolet@reddit

I think it's very well worded and extremely reasonable. Someone would have to be a total bellend of the highest order to take offence at such a letter (and if they *are*, then going around in person is definitely to be avoided).

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SomeHSomeE@reddit

I think it's fine. People saying "it'll just make it worse" are missing the point that you've raised it with the kid but not with the parents. They may genuinely have no idea this is happening or that it's bothering you, and any decent parent would tell their kid to stop doing it which is likely to have better effect than what you've had so far. Obviously there's no guarantee that they're a decent parent or that the kid will listen to them but it's worth a try.

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Arnoave@reddit

It's polite enough, gets the message across. You can always escalate things later if they ignore this. Don't worry about people saying "this is going to make things worse for you". You can't go your whole life never saying anything to anyone for fear of imaginary consequences. This is the way a normal, rational adult would respond to the kind of situation you are describing. If they choose to ignore or act vindictively you can always report it police as antisocial behaviour, but there's every chance that what actually will happen is said teenagers get a bollocking from their parents and are made to apologize to you. People are a lot more normal in the real world than a lot of redittors seem to believe.

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Responsible-Bat-6544@reddit

I agree with another commentator that this isn’t going to help and will probably make them do it more. The parents will probably speak to the kids whilst rolling their eyes about the difficult neighbour and the kids will feel they can do it more as revenge. I find a good life strategy is to bring solutions to people rather than problems. It’s difficult to say without understanding the layout of your property but is there a way to erect a fence/net to stop the ball from hitting your house. Even if it’s on their land. Then you can explain how much it’s impacting you, but have empathy for them (after all, they’re just young people enjoying themselves and probably not doing it to be malicious to you), say that you understand they want to enjoy themselves but perhaps if both sides chip in for a large net that way you can be happy and they can still enjoy their ball games.

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Threatening-Silence-@reddit

If you've already asked nicely and it hasn't stopped, this will just make him do it more. You need to find a third way to make kicking that ball at your house inherently less attractive.

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GreaterGlasgow@reddit

It depends what country you are in. Scotland needs footballers but if you are down south I would suggest bursting this and every other football you see.

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greylord123@reddit

This is definitely going to make them do it even more. You'd be better off painting a target on your wall.

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