American parents, what do you do if your child is being bullied at school?
Posted by ArtisticArgument9625@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 36 comments
I wonder what you American parents would do if something like this happened.
Rarewear_fan@reddit
Teach them karate
Successful-Ruin2997@reddit
I teach my kids to self-advocate but if it gets to a point where it’s continuing I’ll reach out to the teacher and/or the principal.
Crazy-Squash9008@reddit
I beat up the mom, husband beats up the dad, kids fight each other and my cat eats their goldfish.
Guardian-Boy@reddit
It sort of depends. If it's verbal, I tell the teacher and administration. That and I'll teach them a few comeback zingers.
If it's physical, I still tell the teacher and administration, but I have already taught them a fair amount of self-defense techniques and they know that I will have their back as long as they didn't start the fight.
Karamist623@reddit
My daughter was being bullied at school. The school was notified, nothing changed. I told my daughter to just hit back, just once and it would never happen again.
I was at work when I got a call from the school. My daughter was involved in an “altercation “. I go up to the school, and she’s sitting in the office crying. The principal asks me to come into the office and proceeds to tell me that my daughter pushed another girl and sent her flying. My daughter is strong. He rides horses, she moves hay bales.
I asked who she pushed. Yes, it was her bully. I told him that the particular girl has been bullying my daughter for the last two years, and that he was lucky that she didn’t do what I told her, which was hit her.
He told me that the school has a zero tolerance for bullying, and that we should have reported the bullying. I said we did. Several times. Bullying was even done right in front of the teachers and there have been no consequences.
My daughter was originally supposed to be suspended for 3 days, and he wanted me to punish her at home as well. I told him that she would not be punished at home. That the school was teaching these kids to shut up and take the abuse, that they were creating victims, and that there are no consequences for the bullies.
I told him that I understand that she has to be suspended in school, but she would NOT NOW or EVER be in trouble at home for defending herself, and that they were creating a toxic atmosphere at school.
They reduced her suspension to a one day suspension, and that bully never bullied my daughter again. I took her out for ice cream after, and explained why she wasn’t in trouble.
3ndt1m3s@reddit
This is the way.
WTI240@reddit
This is the way
rosemaryscrazy@reddit
I don’t have kids but I remember what my mother and grandmother did. When my mother would drop me off for school in the morning the next day after she walked me to my class. She’d go directly to the head of admissions office. She would tell them exactly what I told her and by the end of the day it was handled and the child would not be allowed near me. The teachers would watch me and the child closely so if they even gave me a dirty look for “tattling” they’d be sent to timeout.
In more extreme cases like once an after care worker was bullying me. I was maybe 8 or 9 and she was in her 50s. My mother was so angry when she came to pick me up (like I had never seen her before.)I remember sitting in the car and my mom deciding she wasn’t going to wait until the next day. She walked me to the admissions office. Showed them my skirt and the after care worker was fired the next day.
My grandma also got my 5th grade teacher fired as well. To be fair I genuinely don’t think he deserved to be fired 😭. It was just a misunderstanding!
But the aftercare worker definitely deserved it.
I don’t know what having kids will be like for me but I can assure you no one is messing with them. They can all lose their jobs if it doesn’t get handled.
tsukuyomidreams@reddit
My parents didn't do anything, but they did mostly allow me to fight back if necessary. They didn't help, but I also didn't get in trouble the few times I stood up for myself and harmed another student /shrug
brian11e3@reddit
When my niece was getting bullied, I offered to work the issue out with the bullies' parents in the school parking lot. Neither parent wanted to take me up on the offer. 🤣
blindside1@reddit
If it verbal either walk away or give them shit back.
If they start getting physical then I expect the other kid to at least have a bloody nose and know that they were in a fight. I'm a martial arts instructor, my kids know how to punch.
BrazilianButtCheeks@reddit
Fight the other kids parents in the school parkinglot to assert dominance 😂
EffectiveNew4449@reddit
Suburban white trash mom type shi
(My mother)
BrazilianButtCheeks@reddit
Its just a joke.. relax
Ghazh@reddit
Gotta go beat up their dad if he's around
Sitcom_kid@reddit
What do they do in other countries?
SituationSad4304@reddit
Depends on if you have lawyer money. Because if you don’t, you either take the violence directly to the other parents or change which school your kid goes to.
If you have lawyer money you sue the school district and the other kid’s parents for damages, pain and suffering, and withholding education
ImaginaryProposal211@reddit
Self defense. Whether it’s physical or verbal. If they shit talk you, you shit talk them back. If it’s physical, the rule is to never throw the first punch.
necessarysmartassery@reddit
I'm fine with mine throwing the first punch if someone gets in his personal space talking shit and being aggressive. Not teaching my kid to stand around and wait to get hit.
robthemonster@reddit
there is if you don’t want them to end up behind bars some day.
Dr_Watson349@reddit
I promise you when it comes to law who throws first means nothing.
kaimcdragonfist@reddit
That was my approach growing up. I’d never throw the first punch but if they hit me first all bets were off.
They never hit me first, just constant verbal abuse
EffectiveNew4449@reddit
I feel like this is the standard response I heard growing up. The moment physical contact occurs is the moment you had free reign to throw hands.
ImaginaryProposal211@reddit
That’s why I’d suggest teaching a quick wit or the ability to fight back to the verbal abuse. I was bullied a lot growing up too (was usually settled with fists), but this type of preparation would benefit future generations.
winteriscoming9099@reddit
My parents taught me to ignore the person bullying me. Which I largely did, but it didn’t do much of anything to stem the underlying bullying.
MotherOfShoggoth@reddit
Oooooo I had this happen at my sons elementary school, I brought it to the teacher, principal and office staff. I attempted to meet with the parents and also taught my son to go for the nose and keep swinging until he gets pulled off but he was just too sweet for that.
Then, after his brand new winter coat was stolen, I went up there and said if my son comes home crying again I will come up here and make sure they go home crying too. I told them I want them to call the child's family and get my coat back by the end of the week. He got his coat next day and the issues stopped.
I don't recommend threatening school staff with assault however, I exhausted many reasonable options and tried for months to get things to stop. So I decided if they gonna go low, I'm going to hell.
New-Stable-8212@reddit
I told my daughter to kick ass on anyone who bullies her. She was very strong
LloydAsher0@reddit
By the action itself or the win lose ratio?
terrovek3@reddit
Where do you think school shooters come from?
LloydAsher0@reddit
Mental illness, crappy home life. I think everyone got bullied at some point in their life. Parents should be aware of the mental situation of their child and teach them how to navigate it.
LloydAsher0@reddit
If it's physical fight back. Even if they lose, least they show off that they aren't an easy target.
If it's verbal foster a healthy appreciation for humor and how to use that as a shield and a bludgeon. It's always better to be a smart ass than a dumb ass.
Nothing with the teachers unless it's really serious or other extenuating circumstances. Kids cannot be reliant on adults to sort out all their problems.
EffectiveNew4449@reddit
Growing up, I was taught by my dad to ignore them and walk away if it was only words, but to "punch them in the Adam's apple and the bridge of their nose" if they touched me. Most of my friends were also raised the same.
I don't have children yet, so I'm unsure what I'd teach my kid. Senseless violence isn't ideal, but so is being a pushover.
Corn-fed41@reddit
When my son was in grade school he was a small kid. And got picked on and beat up by this one kid constantly. We had meetings with the school conferences with teachers. Finally we talked the school into setting up a joint meeting with the teacher the principal the other kid and the kid's parents.
They offered up every excuse in the book. Talked about how great their son was. And their little angle would never. Bla bla bla. I finally spoke up and flatly said to the dad that if his son put hands on my son again I was going to put hands on him.
It might not have been the best way to resolve things. But my son stopped getting beat up.
martlet1@reddit
Well. My dad had me fill my Star Wars lunchbox with rocks. And the next time the kid tried to bully me I swung it as hard as I could into his stomach
No more bulling.
ALoungerAtTheClubs@reddit
If I had kids, I'd be talking to the teacher/administration and maybe the bully's parents.
RioTheLeoo@reddit
Not a parent, but like I’d probably want to teach them how to fight and also get them enrolled in therapy so that in addition to me, they have the tools and resources to defend themselves both physically and emotionally