What’s the hardest part about settling in a new country?
Posted by Overall-PrettyManly@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 32 comments
I’ve been living abroad for a few months now, and while it’s been amazing, there are definitely some challenges I wasn’t expecting. Adjusting to a new culture, language barriers, and even figuring out everyday things like banking can be tough at times.
For those who have lived abroad long-term, what was the hardest part of settling in? Any tips for making the transition smoother? I’d love to hear your experiences!
Neat-Composer4619@reddit
Visa documentation. Those yearly renewal that take 3 to 12 months to close are a killer.
False_Distance_650@reddit
Dealing with nepotism from the locals. Job prospects, language. Isolation. You guessed it, Sweden.
Dry-Pomegranate7458@reddit
it's all the little adjustments.
opening a bank account, new cell phone provider, etc. etc....
often times these things don't go smoothly
Resettlementdiaries@reddit
It's hard to pick one. Missing family, everything is new --> decision fatigue, being broke, building a credit history from scratch, starting again job wise because nobody recognizes your great experience / qualifications. Tough to keep business or bank accounts in the old country but you lose money on investments when you close the accounts.
However it gets better. You look back after 3 months, 6 months, a year and you realize each time how much more settled you feel. I've written about some of this in www.TheResettlementDiaries.ca and there's so much more to write.
Ok-Importance9234@reddit
Hhhhmmmmm I've lived in 4 countries long term.
Language is the only barrier IMHO, because once you can communicate you can resolve almost anything.
al_tanwir@reddit
True, the only thing imo is really tough to solve would be culture. Especially when you live in a country where most people don’t speak or understand English.
al_tanwir@reddit
I moved to Indonesia 4 years ago.
And loneliness is one of them. when you’re the only one speaking English and have different cultural references, it’s actually hard mentally.
Finding like-minded people from the West is one way to break out of it.
Now I feel a lot better after learning the language a little bit and finding expats living not far from where I am.
I got a Substack newsletter where I share all my experiences in Asia, both good and bad. It’s on profile link.
hyacinthocitri@reddit
Having to consciously learn the social rules/standards/expectations that everyone else has internalized since birth. Having to think/work so hard to express yourself in a second language & worry you aren’t being truly understood when everyone else is just communicating effortlessly.
ContextRules@reddit
Confronting those automatic thoughts about how things "should be" that are based in the culture we grew up in. They can be a barrier to assimilation and making real friends.
-ARCEN@reddit
Making and keeping friends. My first couple of months in a new country are really lonely sometimes. I don’t want to be around expats all of the time but that’s the easiest way into a friend group. Socializing with locals can be hard if we don’t have a shared language in common.
StillHereBrosky@reddit
Just settle for temp friends then.
Pale-Candidate8860@reddit
Does EC stand for Ecuador?
-ARCEN@reddit
Yes
bruhbelacc@reddit
Realizing the asymmetry of perception: you see people for their personality first and culture second, but they see you for your culture/ethnicity first and personality after that.
bigvibes@reddit
Very good point. I cringe sometimes when people ask me where I'm from in situations like if I'm saying or doing something that could be perceived as wrong, like bargaining or asking questions.
eliezther666@reddit
Toilet rooms in Amsterdam houses
Pale-Candidate8860@reddit
Although a native speaker, I still will be thrown off by a difference in terms. When I hear someone is pissed, I'm not expecting them to actually be drunk. Haha.
Mooncat84@reddit
Swing by your closest library and they likely will have immigrant services which can connect you to everything you need to know about settling in and getting started.
unseemly_turbidity@reddit
Oh, that's a culture shock for me. Libraries here generally aren't staffed most of the time. You just scan some books and walk out with them.
Pale-Candidate8860@reddit
A country without thieves it sounds like. Sounds like a good country.
FrauAmarylis@reddit
OP, did you study the culture shock stages and graph to prepare yourself before you started?
https://www.now-health.com/en/blog/culture-shock-stages/
Pale-Candidate8860@reddit
Generous timeline for that graph. I do think it depends on what culture you come from versus which one you go to. Great article overall.
Spiritual_Nose2288@reddit
Moving abroad can be challenging, but I feel that it depends on where you come from originally and where you're moving to. Different cultures present different challenges.
Another big variable is whether you're moving alone or not...
I'm from Brazil, moved to China with my family when I was 17, and lived there for 10 years. Then moved to Germany for a year before coming back home.
I must say, coming back home after such a long time has proven to be almost as challenging!
While I don't think there's a magic formula, I do believe that learning the language is always helpful, especially if you're planning to stay a while. Also, meeting people, locals, or other expats is really helpful. There are expat communities in most countries, and you can find them online.
Good luck!
Ok-Importance9234@reddit
How's your Mandarin ?
If you're fluent the timing in regards to business opportunities couldn't help better.
marshallre@reddit
Everything
Possible_Package_689@reddit
Realizing that all the unconscious methods you use to read people are failing you.
Unusual_Cockroach988@reddit
Rent, bureaucracy, taxes, laws. After that comes communication culture, product quality check, till you find your favourite food/brands, entertainment and friendships.
bprofaneV@reddit
Missing friends, the guilt of leaving parents behind, realizing that you have to fix what you can’t escape about yourself.
hater4life22@reddit
Literally after maybe 4 years abroad I finally had a long, deep conversation with my dad (who I had/have a strained relationship with) and after almost immediately after that I felt like moving back home.
I didn't and ended up moving to a different country, but it's def different now moving somewhere to go towards something rather than running away from something. Much harder. And now I really see where eye need to heal and improve.
Awkward_Passion4004@reddit
Strange that you were not anticipating those challenges when moving abroad.
InterstellarJester@reddit
I agree that language barriers are often the trickiest to navigate. But it's also challenging to learn new systems (how and when to register in a new city, how and when and what to do when your kid starts school, etc), all of the things you just kind of know/learn over time in your home country.
shezofrene@reddit
disliking something about local culture and not being able to say anything against it since you are just a « foreigner »