Be me, factory worker

One day we get a new worker

Big guy in white parade uniform, with a factory cap

It's clearly Stalin, just no moustache

Get close to him on the production line

"Hello comrade"

"HEDDO FILTH...FELLOW KOMRAD"

"Oh, Georgian? I love Georgia"

"YA BOTFIUL REGGION..."

"Everybody coming from there is a hero and an absolut-vodka unit"

"U AR GUD MAAN! SAY...WAT YOU DINK OF KOMRAD STALIN?"

"There are too many people here... I can't talk..."

"KOM FOLLOW!"

Stalin just casually walks off the production line

Like that's allowed

Everybody tries to warn me it's fucking Stalin

but they are too scared to look up

They think I'm off to get shot

we reach the back of the grain silo

"TALK NOW!"

"Don't tell the others, but I actually like him. The factory boss is a traitor and a bad comrade"

"I KOM BACK SOON. YOU STAY HERE"

10 minutes later, Stalin comes back with a smoking gun

"NOW, U BOSS! TOMORROW, U GOVERNOR OF STAVROPOL."

And that's how I got promoted.