Ever see out of town family and friends?

[-]

novalia89@reddit

'visit on the regular'. Is this normal speech? I know American English is losing ly from it's adverbs, but 'visit regularly' is just much more consise.

[-]

Majestic_Clam@reddit

It is a fairly common saying in the U.S. - "on the regular" or "on the reg." It's not as concise, but it's more fun/informal/"cool." Or at least it was like 30 years ago

[-]

kbell58@reddit (OP)

It’s slang more concisely- on the reg

[-]

NuzzyNoof@reddit

Just my opinion but I think small-town mentality comes into play.

For example, I am from a tiny village that thinks its nearest city (30-40 minutes’ drive away) is a different country. I moved almost 100 miles away 10 years ago and can count on one hand the times friends and family have visited me. On the other hand, I thought nothing of it to load up the car and drive up the motorway for a few hours - I have relatives in Australia whose only child is 2 days’ travel away, and they manage to see him regularly enough.

These days, as I am more settled in my life here and own a house now, I can see that the effort is one-sided, and I visit “home” less.

[-]

thelastwilson@reddit

I think the thing that's being overlooked is accomodation.

Most people would drive 3 hours each way for a day trip but our houses are smaller so often there isn't a guest bedroom to stay in and hotels are expensive.

[-]

sparklybeast@reddit

Yes, that's fairly accurate. My grandparents lived about 4 hours away when we were children and we saw them a couple of times a year. Bear in mind that driving in the UK is a more stressful experience than driving in the US, by and large, so a 3 hour drive over here would be more of an endeavour than it would be over there.

[-]

Donewithit_6607@reddit

Can you elaborate? Is it more than just a long drive?

[-]

notacanuckskibum@reddit

Imagine being in New York City traffic for 3 hours.

[-]

_Alek_Jay@reddit

Clearly you’ve not driven in Houston rush hour traffic…

[-]

PatchyWhiskers@reddit

Driving city to city in the UK is like driving in US rush hour traffic for 3 hours. It's a densely populated country.

[-]

Strong_Attempt4185@reddit

Houston really isn’t that bad. Austin is far worse. In fact a lot of cities are far worse. Houston unfairly gets a bad rep.

[-]

Cultural_Bowler2342@reddit

As a Houstonian, I think the equivalent would be driving from here to Waco but with a two lane road, rush hour traffic and a speed limit of 35 the whole way and slower through every single little town.

[-]

_Alek_Jay@reddit

I was thinking more of the stress factor of trying to get off the I6-10 and navigate through main, feeder, frontal, etc. roads.

I was a bit bamboozled at the first few attempts trying to get off at the Bunker Hill Road, purely because of the amount of lanes and toll lanes.

[-]

Cultural_Bowler2342@reddit

Yeah it’s super chaotic 😂

[-]

GDH26@reddit

In America, 100 Years is a long time.

In Britain, 100 Miles is a long way.

[-]

HalfAgony-HalfHope@reddit

I think it depends on how close you are. My friend lives in London and she's from Liverpool. Sees her parents every few months, usually gets the train up or they go down. I see her 3 or 4 times a year.

Other friends have moved 30 minutes away and we're never seen again 🤣

[-]

Key_Seaworthiness827@reddit

I'm 90 miles from my dad and until recently used to see him 2-3 times per year even when the kids were small. I regret it now but family life / house stuff needed weekends to catch up and time was precious. We also never took time away apart from 2 week summer holiday for same reason.

[-]

Rude_Ad1214@reddit

Petrol is more expensive, getting to a motorway seems to take more time than a US freeway.

Some of it I think is just mindset, journeys I wouldn't do in the UK are not a big deal in the US.

[-]

catdog_man@reddit

My childhood hometown is 3-4 hours away. I rarely see any of my family that still lives there.

[-]

AuroraDF@reddit

I live 5 hours from my parents and I see them 4 or 5 times a year. I'm a teacher, so I go up each holiday. I probably go more often than most folk I know.

[-]

No_Election_1123@reddit

Distances in the US feel different to the UK.

A journey of 100miles is often easier in the US, hop on an Interstate drive for an hour and you're there type of thing where UK traffic is generally heavier and roads are slower

Living in Chicago does feel a little more like the UK. My wife's relatives live in St Louis (250 miles) and it's pretty easy to get there, straight down the I55 when we do the trip it takes around 3hrs every time. We know if we leave at 9am we'll be there for noon

But driving around Chicago is different we live in the Northern Burbs and to visit friends who live in Michigan City, Northern Indiana just 75 miles away. But the driving is horrible due to all the traffic being forced below the Lake and so a journey varies between 1½hrs to 2½ hours sometimes more

The drive to St Louis is put the car into Cruise Control and just steer the car. The trip to Michigan City is continual stop-start traffic. Much of it stop.

So it's much harder to get in the mood to travel to the other side of Chicago than it is to drive to St. Louis. If one morning she says "we need to take something to St Louis" then I'm happy to go. The other week we drove to Minneapolis (350 miles) to pick up something from a Crate and Barrel because they wouldn't ship it

But if we have to travel 75 miles to Michigan City then we're looking at traffic conditions and trying to figure out how long it's going to take ? because the driving is horrible

So Britain feels very much like that. I used to live 90 miles from Central London and rarely drove there because the driving was not pleasant

[-]

charlolwut@reddit

Live about 1.5hrs away from family and tend to visit once a month.

[-]

Glass_Effect5624@reddit

I moved 20 miles (about 30-40 mins drive) towards the end of school. After school finished never saw My friends again 🤣 (I had made new ones too!)

[-]

ProfessionalEven296@reddit

I moved to America for several reasons, but one of them was so I could be well out of “popping in” distance. We have friends and relatives here about 10 minutes away, but I don’t want them popping in here, either…

[-]

Dear_Tangerine444@reddit

Conversely we moved 3 door down from some of my wife’s family and only see them a half a dozen times a year.

[-]

Mischeese@reddit

Pretty accurate. I moved 100 miles when I got married and never saw my friends again after about a year. I have friends that live about 6 hours away and I’ve not seen them since 2018. The roads are a PIA to drive on and trains are stupid expensive.

[-]

Ataralas@reddit

I think it depends on how close you are to them. My husband moved to my town 12 years ago which is 2.5 hours from his parents. Pre kids we would as them probably 6-8 times a year, since having kids we see them once a month. My sister moved a couple of hours away about 8 years ago and we saw her probably 6-8 times a year too, she’s now moved back closer to home so we see her more. We have relatives that live closer to us but we aren’t as close to aunts etc and we see them less even though it would be quicker and easier to see them. I have a friend who lives a similar distance from their parents but only sees them a couple times a year as they aren’t as close a family.

[-]

NiobeTonks@reddit

My mum’s mum lived 2 hours by train from us. We saw her probably 4 times a year. I now live 2 hours by train from my family and I do my best to see them more regularly but train travel is expensive and I don’t drive.

British roads are way more congested (in general) than US highways. Traffic jams are common. We just don’t have the big open vistas you have in the US. A 2 hour journey is stressful and involves a lot of stop/start driving.

[-]

farmerpip@reddit

Quite regularly, we live in the Northwest of England and travel to see friends and family who live in London, Oxford and Suffolk every 2 months or so. Each trip is 4 / 4.5 hours each way.

[-]

kilgore_trout1@reddit

I’m seeing some family this weekend that I’ve not seen for 5 years, they live about 2.5 hours away.

[-]

kbell58@reddit (OP)

Thanks for your responses

[-]

StrangeKittehBoops@reddit

Yes, we lived 100 - 300 miles away from family. As a child, we had long holidays with the different sides of the family and visits on special occasions. I think we made more of an effort to meet up before the Internet, and smartphones made casual contact easier.

As an older adult, no, hardly ever, most of my family have now passed away, and the remaining ones live thousands of miles away, and we've seen each other twice in 25 years. We catch up online. I don't have children.

My best friends now live in different countries and hemispheres, but we keep in touch daily and meet up once or twice a year.

[-]

paperandcard@reddit

We live about 200 miles from our families and visit 3-4 times a year - when they visit us (nieces, nephews SIL) it’s about the same. So we see them often and it’s great

[-]

BlackJackKetchum@reddit

Maybe we chose somewhere to live that was well out of any ‘popping in’ distance.

I do a few London overnights each year to catch up with friends and select relatives. They are all too lazy to come up here (Lincs) so I’m the good guy here. I see my one surviving parent - who chose to leave the country - once every five years or so.

My wife has rellies a little closer (90 min drive), and maybe sees them 6-8 times a year. Non-local friends? Couple of times a year.

[-]

Drewski811@reddit

Is not that it's too far, but it is inconvenient. It is true that once someone is out of your immediate local bubble you do generally see them less.