Which is why, if someone tells of a prophecy in which foretells your ruin, it is better to sit around and jerk it than try to do anything about it. Because at least you get to nut.
The moment theres a prophecy that x will kill you then that means anything not x wont kill you. Using this logic you are functionally immortal to 99% of the world. This is why alduin shouldve bagged a dragon baddie and had some crazy dragon sex
Also reminds me of a fanfic where a king was prophesied his son would kill him, but instead of doing Oedipus 2.0, he tried his best to be a good father. And that prophecy came true in the technical sense, because he had a long fulfilling life with a loving family, but due to his advanced age he suffered in pain, his son couldn't bear it so he helped to end the pain in mercy.
Laius received an oracle from Delphi which told him that he must not have a child, or the child would kill him and marry his wife; in another version, recorded by Aeschylus, Laius is warned that he can save the city only if he dies childless. One night, however, Laius was drunk and fathered Oedipus with Jocasta. On Laius' orders, the baby, Oedipus, was exposed on Mount Cithaeron with his feet bound (or perhaps staked to the ground), but he was taken by a shepherd, who did not have the resources to look after him, so he was given to King Polybus and Queen Merope (or Periboea) of Corinth, who raised him to adulthood.
Fake: it's a myth
Gay: literally not having sex with a woman (his wife)
This is(or was I don't remember) basically the lore of a champion in League of Legends. He got a prophecy that he will die of old age. The champion that got that propecy was a viking which meant he couldn't get a glorious death in battle.
The reason i don't run when its raining outside and the floor is wet isn't the fear of death, but of injury, yeah you won't die, but you might lose limbs, sight, bones, feel undestribable pain, lose your mind, etc.
A king gets a prophecy that his 1st born son will kill him so he can take over the throne. The king decides screw that I'm going to ignore it and raise the boy with love and affection. Many years later the old king is on his deathbed in pain, his son (mercy)kills him.
Except that Alduin probably didn't attack Helgen because of us, he was banished close to it and just flew into a fit of rage after appearing in the modern day, destroying whatever town was the closest to him
Did Alduin even know the Dragonborn was there? Pretty sure what happened is he suddenly appears in this time because it's when he was sent to, and then he goes and attacks the first humans he sees because he was just fighting humans before being sent forward in time.
The elder scrolls has some of the trippiest videogame lore ever, it's just thst they rarely highlight some aspects.
For example, the whole world is a dream of a sleeping god. And if you essentially copy someone's life, you can make reality itself bug out and essentially become that person, and even a god. Because reality is just a complex dream that can still be pulled from the seams if you know what you're doing.
Also there's a thing where if you reach a certain level of enlightenment you'll break the fourth wall, realize you're in a work of fiction, and subsequently gain access to console commands
In lore reaching that level of enlightenment can also essentially cause you to dissappear without a trace, your consciousness subsumed by the universe and your place in time unwritten
I'm not an Elder Scrolls fan, but one of my favorite things I do know about the lore is the existence of a literal artificial, mechanical god built by the Dwemer, the Dwarven equivalent of the game.
This mechanical god is known as the Numidium. It was constructed as part of a plan by the Dwemer to harness the heart of a slain god.
The Numidium wasn't used after the disappearance of the Dwemer for a long time until it was given as part of a peace negotiation to Tiber Septim (without the heart, as it was actively being used by the tribunal of morrowind).
iirc this also caused them, through a couple of logical steps to just disappear from the universe. After a while in Daggerfall the "robot" split time creating multiple timelines that were rejoined, making it so that there are like 6 different alternatives for what happens in that game and all of them are fact.
not in Skyrim itself, but the extended (and sometimes dubiously canon) Elder Scrolls lore. Kirkbride and the other old writers came up with some crazy stuff, I honestly love how a setting that looks so generically fantasy on the surface has some out there, creative, and often esoteric worldbuilding underneath.
It's not that they turned it into Rome, a genuine Rome with magic and cat people would be amazing because actual Rome is very alien and cool. Oblivion had the Imperium made into Gondor from Lord of the Rings. In Skyrim the LOTR influence is even stronger where Whiterun is literally just Rohan but with few horses.
They're completely right, we got LOTR instead of an sweeping fantasy jungle full of interesting places and ideas. Especially if they had just played Morrowind, I understand the anger.
I totally was annoyed myself, since even though Morrowind didn’t totally work for me (the miss chance in the combat drove me up a wall) the atmosphere was awesome. I wanted more weird shit. I liked oblivion fine but it was way too generic until shivering isles.
Indeed, I have never actually played ESO but I am loving the lore building they are doing there. And I love how they don't shy away from the weirder side of elder scrolls history. The time traveler in the dwarven ruin in Skyrim comes to mind.
To add to this a little, in TES lore circles there is not generally considered to be a singular canon anymore, thanks to Michael Kirkbride's story C0DA. While he wrote this after leaving Bethesda, Kirkbride's opinion is considered above that of Bethesda because he wrote the parts of the lore and story that are considered the best. He wrote a bunch of lore books for Morrowind, the 36 Lessons, The Song of Pelinal and many others.
I meant mostly with regards to canonicity of out-of-game non-bethesda material. The games are of course inarguably canon. Though if TES6 is slop I'm not sure I will keep that opinion. and I doubt I'm the only one that feels that way.
The space cocaine doesn't come from whales, however it does come from sentient God trees from space. There is one such tree in Skyrim, which fell from a floating island ripped away from one of the god's domain by a sentient sword he imbued with too much power, who is teaming up with a dark elf to steal souls from people to fuel the island...... Yeah Elder Scrolls is weird.....
The main thing is that when Oblivion was in development LOTR was super popular, so they changed the game to heavily copy LOTR, and kind of kept that same idea for Skyrim.
This created a disconnect between pre-Oblivion lore and post-Oblivion gameplay. Playing Oblivion and Skyrim you wouldn't think that the Imperials have space stations and FTL communication, but they do according to the lore.
There's a Skyrim conversion mod called Enderal. It's basically an entirely new game created with Skyrim's assets and some mods. It has a spaceship, an airship you get to travel in, and even a floating steampunk city. Highly recommend checking it out.
Time travel doesn't even begin to cover the weirdness of it all, hell its the Elder Scrolls themselves that document all past and future events, so the time shenanigans part is pretty much in the title of the games. One you really start digging is where all manners of weird fuckery arise.
Some ancient heroes use a scroll with a weird relationship with fate and time to accidentally blast the world eater, firstborn child of the Dragon God of Time, thousands of years into the future.
Nope ,the closest sttlement was Iverstead right at the bottom of the Throat King.
In fact ,Helgen was even quite the weird settlement to attack.
It was a border settlement with the empire , so as far as Alduin is concerned he was rushing to beat Ayleid asses
And even then I am not sure because boy TES timeline is huge
It could also have been that he came back but was in Sovngarde getting his strength back. Found out that they captured Ulfric and now there is no more free flowing souls for him to feast and so went to stop it.
He then sensed a dragon soul, tried killing everyone in hopes of getting ahead of the prophecy but instead just kickstarted it into motion.
Pretty sure what happened from Alduin's perspective was that from one moment he was rendered flightless by some mortal fools and after eating one of them he one of them starts yelling me some weird shit while holding a pimped out cylinder, he trips the fuck out for a moment and then they're all gone. Confused he just flies off and starts to burn the first town he finds just cause he thinks the war is still on and he just does business as usual.
In the background of Aetherious Akatosh is laughing his ass of cause he probably orchestrated the entire Dragonborns birth for this exact moment
A theory I remember being passed around is that the horse thief in the cart is partially to blame, as he prays to the dragon God Akatosh on the way into Helgen, and in turn the "firstborn of Akatosh" ended up there. He could've had a chance to survive if he didn't make a run for it.
This is all in the assumption that Alduin knew that the Dragonborn was in Helgen.
What most probably happened is, after that guy waved the Elder Scroll in front of Alduin's face, the dragon found himself standing atop the throat of the world alone.
Flying away, he saw a random human settlement and said "Hey, why don't I have some fun and burn it to the ground." And that is how the game started.
Reminds me of Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles 2 where that one guy build a big ass tower because a prophecy told him whatever will defeat him will happen up there and he wanted to avert it.
Turned out he just got his shit wrecked on this big ass tower and that was the entire prophecy
"There was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, Master, just now when I was in the marketplace I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture, now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find me. The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went. Then the merchant went down to the marketplace and he saw me standing in the crowd and he came to me and said, Why did you make a threating getsture to my servant when you saw him this morning? That was not a threatening gesture, I said, it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Bagdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra."
In kung fu panda the peacock guy tries to kill all the pandas so he doesn’t die to them. This guy tries to make the dragonborn like him so they don’t want to kill him. I’m sure the second one is more appreciated by everyone involved
Dramatic_Science_681@reddit
Many such cases
thr33beggars@reddit
Which is why, if someone tells of a prophecy in which foretells your ruin, it is better to sit around and jerk it than try to do anything about it. Because at least you get to nut.
YourLocalSnitch@reddit
The moment theres a prophecy that x will kill you then that means anything not x wont kill you. Using this logic you are functionally immortal to 99% of the world. This is why alduin shouldve bagged a dragon baddie and had some crazy dragon sex
solonit@reddit
Also reminds me of a fanfic where a king was prophesied his son would kill him, but instead of doing Oedipus 2.0, he tried his best to be a good father. And that prophecy came true in the technical sense, because he had a long fulfilling life with a loving family, but due to his advanced age he suffered in pain, his son couldn't bear it so he helped to end the pain in mercy.
CummyMonkey420@reddit
Lol gae
General_Ric@reddit
daberle123@reddit
Wtf is that
Period_Fart_69420@reddit
Wow, you're a real dick you know that? Who responds that way to a photo of their own mother?
Thomas_633_Mk2@reddit
Idk man pretty damn gay to, and I quote:
Laius received an oracle from Delphi which told him that he must not have a child, or the child would kill him and marry his wife; in another version, recorded by Aeschylus, Laius is warned that he can save the city only if he dies childless. One night, however, Laius was drunk and fathered Oedipus with Jocasta. On Laius' orders, the baby, Oedipus, was exposed on Mount Cithaeron with his feet bound (or perhaps staked to the ground), but he was taken by a shepherd, who did not have the resources to look after him, so he was given to King Polybus and Queen Merope (or Periboea) of Corinth, who raised him to adulthood.
Fake: it's a myth
Gay: literally not having sex with a woman (his wife)
KaszualKartofel@reddit
butt sex
full_knowledge_build@reddit
Actually good plot damn
LabCoatGuy@reddit
What uh has that gotta do with the immortality? Couldn't he just do that anyways?
Juggernuts777@reddit
Finally a reasonable skyrim take.
Darkaim9110@reddit
Sanguinius in Warhammer 40k is like that. He knew he would die at his brothers hand so he goes around soloing demons and tearing everything apart
chillanous@reddit
Sounds like a good way to get mauled by a demon and mercy killed by your brother tbh
Braindeadkarthus@reddit
Kurze was the inverse. He knew he’d die alone to an assassin, and moped around until he let them do it
chillanous@reddit
Sounds like a good way to get mauled by a demon and mercy killed by your brother tbh
The_Dragon_Redone@reddit
NOOOOO! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND DEATH IS NOTHING COMPARED TO VINDICATION!
Braindeadkarthus@reddit
I’ve done nothing to require vindication. -dark angels player
mmp64son@reddit
They mess with that in JoJo, where a character jumps out the top floor of a hotel because he knows he's not destined to die until later.
Tenko-of-Mori@reddit
jojo part 5 is the best part and i don't give a fuck what anyone else says
paco-ramon@reddit
Unironically that’s how Final Destination works, you can’t die unless Death itself does the job.
FireDevil11@reddit
This is(or was I don't remember) basically the lore of a champion in League of Legends. He got a prophecy that he will die of old age. The champion that got that propecy was a viking which meant he couldn't get a glorious death in battle.
OniSeiji@reddit
Olaf is the champion you’re thinking of
FireDevil11@reddit
Yeah I know I just wasn't sure if it's still his lore or if they changed it.
girosvaldo2@reddit
The reason i don't run when its raining outside and the floor is wet isn't the fear of death, but of injury, yeah you won't die, but you might lose limbs, sight, bones, feel undestribable pain, lose your mind, etc.
FireDevil11@reddit
Favorite prophecy short tale of mine is this one:
A king gets a prophecy that his 1st born son will kill him so he can take over the throne. The king decides screw that I'm going to ignore it and raise the boy with love and affection. Many years later the old king is on his deathbed in pain, his son (mercy)kills him.
IFuckBadDragons@reddit
That's what I would do
SpaceBug176@reddit
What if you go into a coma
Bot1-The_Bot_Meanace@reddit
I mean technically oedipus also got to nut.. In his mother, just like the prophecy foretold
LANDVOGT-_@reddit
Well if its ruined, its actually more frustrating.
DefiantBalls@reddit
Except that Alduin probably didn't attack Helgen because of us, he was banished close to it and just flew into a fit of rage after appearing in the modern day, destroying whatever town was the closest to him
bagofdicks69@reddit
Yeah it was gonna be helgen or ivarsted. Both right at the foot of the mountain.
Taaargus@reddit
Did Alduin even know the Dragonborn was there? Pretty sure what happened is he suddenly appears in this time because it's when he was sent to, and then he goes and attacks the first humans he sees because he was just fighting humans before being sent forward in time.
Riku_70X@reddit
... the silly medieval dragon game has time travel?
qwertyalguien@reddit
The elder scrolls has some of the trippiest videogame lore ever, it's just thst they rarely highlight some aspects.
For example, the whole world is a dream of a sleeping god. And if you essentially copy someone's life, you can make reality itself bug out and essentially become that person, and even a god. Because reality is just a complex dream that can still be pulled from the seams if you know what you're doing.
shiny_xnaut@reddit
Also there's a thing where if you reach a certain level of enlightenment you'll break the fourth wall, realize you're in a work of fiction, and subsequently gain access to console commands
CircleWithSprinkles@reddit
In lore reaching that level of enlightenment can also essentially cause you to dissappear without a trace, your consciousness subsumed by the universe and your place in time unwritten
goooglefan@reddit
I mean, yeah. Thats what happens when you give your lead writer a lot of hard drugs and lock him in a room
Emergency_Elk_4727@reddit
If you get into it there are also spaceships, aliens and sky whales that produce clods of cocaine
jamthewizard@reddit
Is this real? I've never finished the game
TheRealIllusion@reddit
I'm not an Elder Scrolls fan, but one of my favorite things I do know about the lore is the existence of a literal artificial, mechanical god built by the Dwemer, the Dwarven equivalent of the game.
CircleWithSprinkles@reddit
This mechanical god is known as the Numidium. It was constructed as part of a plan by the Dwemer to harness the heart of a slain god.
The Numidium wasn't used after the disappearance of the Dwemer for a long time until it was given as part of a peace negotiation to Tiber Septim (without the heart, as it was actively being used by the tribunal of morrowind).
ToreWi@reddit
iirc this also caused them, through a couple of logical steps to just disappear from the universe. After a while in Daggerfall the "robot" split time creating multiple timelines that were rejoined, making it so that there are like 6 different alternatives for what happens in that game and all of them are fact.
BitMixKit@reddit
not in Skyrim itself, but the extended (and sometimes dubiously canon) Elder Scrolls lore. Kirkbride and the other old writers came up with some crazy stuff, I honestly love how a setting that looks so generically fantasy on the surface has some out there, creative, and often esoteric worldbuilding underneath.
UglyInThMorning@reddit
It’s why there were a lot of people irate about Oblivion 20 years ago- it turned the capital from this weird jungle place into Rome.
Ozuge@reddit
It's not that they turned it into Rome, a genuine Rome with magic and cat people would be amazing because actual Rome is very alien and cool. Oblivion had the Imperium made into Gondor from Lord of the Rings. In Skyrim the LOTR influence is even stronger where Whiterun is literally just Rohan but with few horses.
BitMixKit@reddit
They're completely right, we got LOTR instead of an sweeping fantasy jungle full of interesting places and ideas. Especially if they had just played Morrowind, I understand the anger.
UglyInThMorning@reddit
I totally was annoyed myself, since even though Morrowind didn’t totally work for me (the miss chance in the combat drove me up a wall) the atmosphere was awesome. I wanted more weird shit. I liked oblivion fine but it was way too generic until shivering isles.
Destroy-My-Asshole@reddit
ESO has also been expanding the greater lore of the series
Emergency_Elk_4727@reddit
Indeed, I have never actually played ESO but I am loving the lore building they are doing there. And I love how they don't shy away from the weirder side of elder scrolls history. The time traveler in the dwarven ruin in Skyrim comes to mind.
LennySMeme@reddit
To add to this a little, in TES lore circles there is not generally considered to be a singular canon anymore, thanks to Michael Kirkbride's story C0DA. While he wrote this after leaving Bethesda, Kirkbride's opinion is considered above that of Bethesda because he wrote the parts of the lore and story that are considered the best. He wrote a bunch of lore books for Morrowind, the 36 Lessons, The Song of Pelinal and many others.
Taaargus@reddit
I mean that's sort of just not true, I wouldn't say anything is considered "above" what happens in the games.
LennySMeme@reddit
I meant mostly with regards to canonicity of out-of-game non-bethesda material. The games are of course inarguably canon. Though if TES6 is slop I'm not sure I will keep that opinion. and I doubt I'm the only one that feels that way.
Taaargus@reddit
Ok but it's not really an opinion based thing.
antpile11@reddit
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/021/139/23c.gif
M-A-I@reddit
If enough of the fandom cares, then it really is. I still kinda wished they did rice-field Cyrodiil for instance
SnooPredictions3028@reddit
The space cocaine doesn't come from whales, however it does come from sentient God trees from space. There is one such tree in Skyrim, which fell from a floating island ripped away from one of the god's domain by a sentient sword he imbued with too much power, who is teaming up with a dark elf to steal souls from people to fuel the island...... Yeah Elder Scrolls is weird.....
Vlisa@reddit
Vivek was the Nerevar's sidepiece who rewrote history to make himself a chad.
ToumaKazusa1@reddit
The main thing is that when Oblivion was in development LOTR was super popular, so they changed the game to heavily copy LOTR, and kind of kept that same idea for Skyrim.
This created a disconnect between pre-Oblivion lore and post-Oblivion gameplay. Playing Oblivion and Skyrim you wouldn't think that the Imperials have space stations and FTL communication, but they do according to the lore.
RDCLder@reddit
There's a Skyrim conversion mod called Enderal. It's basically an entirely new game created with Skyrim's assets and some mods. It has a spaceship, an airship you get to travel in, and even a floating steampunk city. Highly recommend checking it out.
thegoten455@reddit
Don't forget the cyborg!
2FLY2TRY@reddit
And people complain about Final Fantasy
zw1ck@reddit
Yes, the warriors of the past couldn't figure out how to defeat alduin so they sent him forward in time
thebigautismo@reddit
Not my problem mindset
Zesty-Lem0n@reddit
Double it and give it to the next guy
Tz33ntch@reddit
bro never even heard of C.H.I.M.
Marik-X-Bakura@reddit
The elder scrolls has some of the deepest lore of any media
internetlad@reddit
It's not quite wookiepeedia levels of lore but it's 2 hour YouTube video about a minor named npc for sure.
LKRTM1874@reddit
Time travel doesn't even begin to cover the weirdness of it all, hell its the Elder Scrolls themselves that document all past and future events, so the time shenanigans part is pretty much in the title of the games. One you really start digging is where all manners of weird fuckery arise.
BitMixKit@reddit
Some ancient heroes use a scroll with a weird relationship with fate and time to accidentally blast the world eater, firstborn child of the Dragon God of Time, thousands of years into the future.
Captain_Milkshakes@reddit
He might have sensed your dragon soul and went looking for an ally/subordinate.
Plus what you said. Helgen is the closest settlement (probably).
Babki123@reddit
Nope ,the closest sttlement was Iverstead right at the bottom of the Throat King.
In fact ,Helgen was even quite the weird settlement to attack.
It was a border settlement with the empire , so as far as Alduin is concerned he was rushing to beat Ayleid asses And even then I am not sure because boy TES timeline is huge
reclusivegiraffe@reddit
At the bottom of the what now
Captain_Milkshakes@reddit
I mean, Ayleids are mortals. I don't think he cares. Souls are souls.
Besides, Ivarstead is a village, where Helgen is like an entire fort.
Plus ya know, the dragonborn...
ItsImNotAnonymous@reddit
It could also have been that he came back but was in Sovngarde getting his strength back. Found out that they captured Ulfric and now there is no more free flowing souls for him to feast and so went to stop it.
He then sensed a dragon soul, tried killing everyone in hopes of getting ahead of the prophecy but instead just kickstarted it into motion.
ThatFuckingGeniusKid@reddit
Alduin came back at the Throat of the World, where he fought with Paarthurnax (which is why he has a broken horn), then he went to Helgen.
inconspicuous_browsr@reddit
Actually, I'm pretty sure if you read further into the lore, Alia the Huntress has more bomb pussy than Serana and whatever this post is about is gay
TheSwecurse@reddit
Pretty sure what happened from Alduin's perspective was that from one moment he was rendered flightless by some mortal fools and after eating one of them he one of them starts yelling me some weird shit while holding a pimped out cylinder, he trips the fuck out for a moment and then they're all gone. Confused he just flies off and starts to burn the first town he finds just cause he thinks the war is still on and he just does business as usual.
In the background of Aetherious Akatosh is laughing his ass of cause he probably orchestrated the entire Dragonborns birth for this exact moment
internetlad@reddit
Wait is time travel actually his plotline lmfao
Taaargus@reddit
He was sent forward in time by the people who were fighting him in ancient times yea.
Honestly not that weird for the Elder Scrolls, the lore is a lot weirder than it seems on the surface.
TheShyGuyGuy@reddit
A theory I remember being passed around is that the horse thief in the cart is partially to blame, as he prays to the dragon God Akatosh on the way into Helgen, and in turn the "firstborn of Akatosh" ended up there. He could've had a chance to survive if he didn't make a run for it.
Sbotkin@reddit
I mean he actually stares at you pretty intensly before flying off to destroy Helgen, that's a deliberate choice by devs. So I say yeah, he knew.
fakaito@reddit
is this fake and gay r/greentext ?
Weewoes@reddit
He's so gosh darn sweet about it, I hope he got his mod.
soiboi64@reddit
PCmasterRACE187@reddit
holy shit is that that gorilla from that corn puffs cereal box??????? core memory unlocked holy shit
dancezachdance@reddit
https://truefoodsmarket.com/cdn/shop/products/7b3c5b182c0b089d633cd8b36bccf197.jpg?v=1593747506
ItsImNotAnonymous@reddit
https://i.redd.it/92jaqu71orze1.gif
RaidensReturn@reddit
BlazeRagnarokBlade@reddit
Sagon drex???
icedragonsoul@reddit
One of the last non undead dragons with dad energy? Time to rizz shout and score a ride.
Scottish_Whiskey@reddit
I have never connected with an internet stranger more than this very moment
Dualiuss@reddit
he deserves to know
contemptuous_curr@reddit
Didn't alduin secretly want to die though?
Maximum_Contest_5985@reddit
I'm sick of the "prophecy coming true because of someone's actions" trope. Give me a prophecy where you can ACTUALLY change the future.
Montizuma59@reddit
This is all in the assumption that Alduin knew that the Dragonborn was in Helgen.
What most probably happened is, after that guy waved the Elder Scroll in front of Alduin's face, the dragon found himself standing atop the throat of the world alone.
Flying away, he saw a random human settlement and said "Hey, why don't I have some fun and burn it to the ground." And that is how the game started.
Furtibrurd@reddit
To loosely quote the fates in Blood of Zeus: "One often meets their destiny on the road they take to avoid it."
Air_Show@reddit
Alduin chooses you. You don't become the dragonborn until he shouts at you on the chopping block.
He's not trying to avert the prophecy. He's giving the mortals a fighting chance by choosing a champion.
dankspankwanker@reddit
Reminds me of Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles 2 where that one guy build a big ass tower because a prophecy told him whatever will defeat him will happen up there and he wanted to avert it.
Turned out he just got his shit wrecked on this big ass tower and that was the entire prophecy
the_count_of_carcosa@reddit
"There was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, Master, just now when I was in the marketplace I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture, now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find me. The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went. Then the merchant went down to the marketplace and he saw me standing in the crowd and he came to me and said, Why did you make a threating getsture to my servant when you saw him this morning? That was not a threatening gesture, I said, it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Bagdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra."
sardonically_argued@reddit
this is me when i have an appointment in samarra i think
tomtheconqerur@reddit
Many of the characters in Skyrim belong on the short bus.
mikkelmattern04@reddit
https://i.redd.it/7zq1fiusssze1.gif
GodNoob666@reddit
In kung fu panda the peacock guy tries to kill all the pandas so he doesn’t die to them. This guy tries to make the dragonborn like him so they don’t want to kill him. I’m sure the second one is more appreciated by everyone involved
Spinnenente@reddit
BLOCK UNIVERSE bros unite.
DoughNotDoit@reddit
Regarduin
Weeb_twat@reddit
Fell for the oldest trick in the book, smh
BrownAJ@reddit
A classic really