Why do people who grew up well off like to pretend that they are from working class backgrounds?

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ShipSam@reddit

I used to pretend when I was a kid because I'd get bullied or ostracised from new friends. In school it was fine as I was at a private school but trying to make friends in clubs outside of school was a nightmare. Kids would literally ignore you as soon as you said what school you went to.

I couldn't talk about my alternative upbringing and life. I think i even once lied about what jobs my parents had to try to fit in.

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Recsq@reddit

I went from private to state age 7. Everyone seemed a bit off with me. It ruined my life and no one cares, apart from my parents, but they can't really do anything. I'm 33 now, never had a life.

I'm successful now in my own right, and very handsome, I know this now, I have never spoken to a girl. People just ruined me. If I try to seek any help, people must think, you're a very handsome posh guy, his can you have any problems.

It absolutely ruined me. I'm trying to go out now, but I know most people hate me, and where do I find anyone who might like me? I thought about trying London finally, but I just don't know anymore .

Recsq@reddit

I've been doing short trips.. but how am I going to really meet anyone? Central London is 30 minutes by train from my parents house.. I've gone to other parts of London too, but to do things there, seems very inconvenient, it would be 3 hours travel in total probably .

I just don't know how to bloody do anything

I know I'm fine but, Jesus .. no idea

I've been going out in my town in recent months for the first time in many years.. these people are just weird to me really. Ffs. I've had offers of friendship etc but just not sure I want to get involved

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GeneralKeycapperone@reddit

30 minutes is nothing really, providing there are morning & evening trains & totally doable for mini-courses or joining a club that meets once a week. Depending on your financial situation maybe staying overnight would work? Most of the universities run residential summer schools.

Could you experiment a bit with the offers of friendship? Doesn't have to be a super-involved thing or where you have much in common to be beneficial. If anything, this might be a good option to start with, as your lower enthusiasm means considerably less emotional risk for you as you get your confidence back.

Important to remember that you're depriving others of the chance to get to know you, to have your friendship & to feel loved by you. Please don't let those who mistreated you steal that from others.

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Recsq@reddit

I met decided to give a guy a chance recently.. but he's just a stoner and not much else..

it just seems such a drag to get to a place to go to a very very small maybe.. 2 hours total travel at least by the time ive got there, probably £30 cost plus too..

i could stay overnight.. yeah, but i feel so bad.

some guy online told me going out in london is a different world and you will meet decent people on nights out. Those ive met on nights out here are ok, but it's not that world i want to be in really, i know better exists..

Wierdly, chavs are more open with me, and don't seem to hold much prejudice against me, in comparison to the general working class.. but yeah, i don't want to become a chav obviously.

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GeneralKeycapperone@reddit

Haha, yeah chavs and aristos don't give a damn, so they're always totally chill about all that stuff.

Now, hop in the shower & get yourself up to town, grab some supper in an area you like & stay until Sunday evening. Night life isn't really the best way to make lasting friends, but you can definitely find yourself adopted for the evening by fun people, and with social media it is easy to arrange to see them again.

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Recsq@reddit

I never did social media. My parents scared me off it and I can't exactly start now...

I'm rich, so don't have to work anymore, I can do anything and I do pretty much nothing... I have got in pretty elite shape after being fat 2 years ago lol... But yeah...

FFS. I could just travel and stuff, given my situation, but I'm just so scared lol

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GeneralKeycapperone@reddit

Travel's a big chunk to bite off as the jump off point, though some people find that it easier if the first hurdle is huge.

Maybe a bit late now to scoot up to London, but you can get a morning train & head home Monday morning.

Tis natural to be scared, so be good to youself.

Happy to suggest places if you're unsure.

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Recsq@reddit

Maybe I'm absolutely fine. It's just the classism.. FFS. Maybe I can do anything..

Happy to take suggestions.. I have been to different parts to check things out.. and I think a lot of London is very much working class, or middle classes pretending to be down to earth types, and I don't like that, so maybe only central or West is for me ..

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GeneralKeycapperone@reddit

You could try wandering Belgravia. Lots of sweet little cafes and bars on the side streets, and the mews lanes off Belgrave Square have some very nice pubs. Near both the V&A and the Natural History Museum. Try the bars of the Berkeley Court Hotel for a more formal thing, mind this might not be as suited to striking up with strangers.

Similar sort of situation around St. James's, whether you go downhill from Piccadilly or up from St. James's Square, then wending off along Jermyn St.

Both of these areas have little commercial art galleries you can browse, and though there's no socialising in that as such, if you ask to be put on their mailing lists you'll get invitations to their exhibition openings (drinks parties, usually held on Thursday evenings, free to attend & you don't need to have any actual interest in the art - they want people there as it creates a buzz instead of an artist and a gallerist standing there like melons, and the crowd that attend these are always delighted to see new faces to get to know).

Hesitant to name specific places, as they change faster now than in the past, and really only you know on the day if you like the look of the crowd. Keeping in the corners of these areas a bit farther back from the main streets (Knightsbridge & Piccadlly).

There are other sub-pockets, but these are where you'll have reasonable chances of finding people you'll hopefully feel more at ease with.

Don't forget to seek recommendations from those you get talking to whom you like.

Have fun!

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Recsq@reddit

Will anyone accept a lone man lol. I'm not sure I will feel at ease, I feel cast out from both worlds..

maybe some people would accept me very easily there, but I really don't know. Sometimes I have confidence in myself, then I don't.

I did go into London months ago and found one nice looking backstreet, but it looked too intimidating for me lol.. it was just some cafes and galleries, in sort of, all low rise buildings street, 1 or 2 stories, not far away from central London at all.. north west corner probably. Maybe I could hold conversation very easily with other people who speak well.. or not, I really don't know anymore

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GeneralKeycapperone@reddit

Will return to reply to this later, from a proper keyboard.

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Recsq@reddit

i'm waiting on my reply lol.. it's like nearly everyone i meet in my rich town hates me...

for all my life, i thought there was something so wrong with me...

i know now i am good looking, fit, successful, well spoken, intelligent.. and yet i'm still so stuck

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GeneralKeycapperone@reddit

Apologies for taking so long, haha. Still intending to come back to it

Accidentally deleted my first reply to you when purging other comments. Gah.

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Recsq@reddit

maybe it's really not about class.. it's just.. a lot of people are pretty stupid, so it's pretty hard for me to talk to them...

who knows, the way it's been set up for generations, maybe average working class and middle class people can barely converse beyond basics, as their intelligence is so far apart..

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Recsq@reddit

oh thanks lol. you havn't gone. take your time... i've got all the time in the world...

you know, for so long i tried to be working class, as it's all that was around me really, but, i'm just not. shit. i thought of myself as so ugly, as people treated me so, so badly growing up, but looking back now, i can see i had fresh face pretty boy looks no one else in my school had...

society would like to say, oh, looks dont matter, and if you have them, just be grateful, but it doesn't really consider, issues, that could occur.

i know i look ridiculously good still lol, yet i still doubt myself in every way so much

did i already say all of that, probably

because grammar school, in the 60s.. worked out for my dad, he thought, there couldn't possibly be any problems in a good state school in a rich area, in the Blair years... everyone, in my rich southern town is posh as far as he is concerned....

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If this is actually true. Meet people from other countries, they don't know or care.

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Prestigious-Baker-67@reddit

This comment was an epiphany for me.

I have a posh accent, went to a state school. Struggled with confidence after that even though I'm tall, successful, good looking, and everything that people should be confident about.

The last two girls I've dated are immigrants, I feel like I fit in better with non-Brits than with Brits.

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Fraccles@reddit

I would add, that despite all the whinging, the UK is quite progressive so women from other countries (if they're not European) might be quite 'traditional'. i.e. expectations about roles, etc.

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Recsq@reddit

Maybe I should. Yeah. Britain is a disaster

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ShipSam@reddit

I've found it matters much less as an adult. It sounds like therapy could really help you though. Seems like there are some deep seated trauma there.

The part that I've found the most difficult is the different life experiences I've had compared to my peers. It can be hard to relate and often sounds like boasting. Which isn't the case, we just had very different upbringings.

I've ended up in a slightly alternative career in the Merchant Navy, but I have found other people like me here. My experiences are almost normal here.

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Jaded_Library_8540@reddit

The simple answer is that people are blind to their own privilege. That clip of Victoria Beckham saying she grew up poor despite being driven to school in a rolls wasn't her deliberately chatting shit, it was her genuinely thinking that constituted "poor" (or at least didn't make her rich)

People generally don't do very well at spotting the bits of their life that were easier for them but do remember the struggles they've had.

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United_Sheepherder23@reddit

I think it’s a mixture of this, not wanting to draw too much attention to their wealth for safety reasons, and a deep knowledge somewhere hidden that there’s a lot more heart and soul in growing up without a silver spoon. Lots of people that grow up wealthy have many advantages , but they aren’t “with it” the way common folks are

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Doreboms@reddit

True to some extent. I've had idiots on this site tell me that £120k a year for a family of four means living in poverty.

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Wild_Cauliflower_970@reddit

I've had idiots on this site tell me that £120k a year for a family of four means living in poverty.

In fairness, a family of four somewhere like Guildford or Weybridge may be far worse off than a family of four with two parents earning minimum wage in Durham (for example).

Consider it this way.

£120,000 family. Take-home is £5106.74 (student loans, 4% pension contributions). One parent working while the other stays home. This is because, if the other parent works, childcare will cost them £2000 per month and that parent wouldn't earn £2000 per month take-home. So, they'd be worse off if that parent worked. They aren't entitled to childcare support, child benefit or any Universal Credit. Their mortgage on a two bedroom terraced house is £3000 (£700,000 with a 10% deposit and n interest rate of 4% over 30 years https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/160522538#/?channel=RES_BUY). Commute into London (because that's how you earn that much) is £400pcm. So, after paying for the costs of working and mortgage on a 3-bed terrace, this family of four has £1706.74 left.

Minimum wage family. Take-home is £3532.04 total (with each parent working full-time, minimum wage and making 4% pension contributions). Their childcare is covered. Universal credit pays them £1160 (I just ran the calculator), and they get child benefit of around £185 per month. That's a total income of £4877.04. Less than £250 per month less than the ultra-rich £120,000 family. But, their mortgage is for a £150,000 property instead and comes to just £716. So, after their costs of working and their mortgage, they have £4161.04 left over. Even if just one parent were working (minimum wage), they'd still have more money left over than the £120,000 family.

The cost of living in the UK is so ridiculously varied. There are places where minimum wage gives you a better quality of life than a six-figure income gives you in other places. And, for some reason, that fact makes people really, really, really angry at the people who are earning six figures and have a shit quality of life while the people who earn six figures and have a shit quality of life aren't even allowed to point out this reality without some people calling them "idiots" because they, themselves, are too lazy or ignorant to run the numbers.

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Doreboms@reddit

The family of four are still not poor.

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Do you not realise that you're incredibly aggressive - and started being aggressive for no reason when no one said a word to you?

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chat5251@reddit

They won't be in poverty but they also won't be eating caviar or whatever you think someone earns more than you does.

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TheDawiWhisperer@reddit

i've been having this argument with people for years on various UK subreddits....£100k a year just isn't a ton of money anymore, it's not private helicopter and a mansion money lol.

don't get me wrong,a household on £100k+ a year probably isn't going to be watching their food budget like a hawk and going without things but it's not an unimaginable fortune anymore

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bacon_cake@reddit

I don't think anyone will disagree with you, but you can't really have that discussion with someone on £30k.

"I'm not rich"

"Well you earn over three times my salary"

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cohaggloo@reddit

"Well you earn over three times my salary"

Well not really. This is part of the issue. The tax system gets very harsh very quickly. The marginal rate at £101k is 62%. The after tax pay for £30k is £25k. After tax pay for £100k is £68k, except, if you have 2 young kids, you lose £20k of free childcare, and so that becomes £48k. The net pay can turn out to be less than double. Which is of course a lot more, but it's not to the level the pre-tax salary might imply and it's a stretch to call it rich.

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rogueIndy@reddit

You're thinking about this the wrong way.

For someone who's living costs are around £20K, a 30K salary from which they take home 24 barely covers it.

If you're taking home twice that, after taxes and after 20k on childcare, then the difference between your living costs and your pay is comparatively huge. The entire net lower paycheque, in fact, is disposable income for the six-figure earner.

Also, that's taking all your assumptions - but the "free childcare" is only for 15h! If it woild otherwise cost £20k a year, then the 30k household would not be able to afford the other 2/3. But I hear you say, it doubles to 30h in September - that's still not enough to cover a working week.

You can because that person on £30k will then have someone sneering at them saying "£30k? Luxury! I earn a third of that with a family of 9 and I get by"

There are literally people doing it in this thread lol

It's all relative, everyone wants to feel like the most hard done by person in the world and no one else has any real problems

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Glad to be of service

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Tobemenwithven@reddit

Not after tax they dont.

they probably earn like 2.4 times the salary. And if you think about the talent and work needed to earn 100k vs 30k you can see its really not that amazing a deal.

Is it though? £2500 a month for 2 adults and 4 children is not a lot at all.

It's unlikely those kids have their own rooms. I doubt they can afford for them all to do their own weekly activities, like football, dance, or learning an instrument. They probably never travel anywhere abroad as a family.

There's more to living than surviving on the bare minimum.

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TheDawiWhisperer@reddit

£37k a year? luxury!

i earn £18.50 for a family of 12

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Not_Ali_A@reddit

£18.50 for a family of 12? Luxury.

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madMARTINmarsh@reddit

I live in a council house in Kent. House purchasing is not in my future.

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BasisOk4268@reddit

I’m the sole earner in a family of 4 and make £42k that’s crazy lol

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savagelysideways101@reddit

Tbh I think it also depends on the people.

Some people could earn 120k a year, but be so deep in bad interest debt they're practically on 40k a year

Others could make 40k a year and spend smart and it seems more like they're on 80k

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R05579@reddit

You've just described me and the wife..

Your mortgage and bills are proportionately a lot cheaper than mine and presumably childcare would be cheaper outside of London.

Maybe difficult was the wrong word as I stand firm with maths and statistics that put me in to a upper percentile of earnings. I understand that but you should be able to see that although I live comfortably, it's probably not what you expected a life of someone on 100k to be.

We live fine, it's comfortable but people envision a life of luxury when you tell them you earn 100k. I shop at lidl, go on holiday once a year and go to work like everybody else. In all intensive purposes my life is not much better despite earning over 3x your salary. \

We probably buy the same things, go to the same places etc etc. A 500-600k house in London can be about 800-1k square feet and that's on the outskirts so not sure if you will have a smaller house. It's likely due to the cost disparity they aren't much different.

The key point for me is how similar our quality of life is despite me earning vastly more. This isn't the general perception that people have when they realise they earn 3x your salary.

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BigBadRash@reddit

But all the same, your wage also supports your wife so that they don't have to work and can look after the house and kid. Which will be much better for the kids upbringing and makes the chores significantly easier. A privilege I wouldn't be able to give my (hypothetical) family on my wage.

I wouldn't expect someone earning £100k and supporting a family in the most expensive city in the country to have a life that's vastly more extravagant than my own, but I'd never say my life was difficult on my wage. Or if I did, it wouldn't be for financial reasons.

Going with the higher figure of £3000 that leaves you with £39,000 after rent.

That's more than the median household income of the UK, even after you have paid your rent.

It's far from poverty.

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ldn-ldn@reddit

That's not what you should be looking at. The maximum borrowing on £120k is £540k. The average terraced house price in London is £788k. Good luck finding £248k to buy anything.

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Vampire1111111@reddit

So if its hard to buy a house on £120k imagine how impossible it is for people on £25k.

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Western-Mall5505@reddit

I was thinking of people buying, I'm thinking of the cost of renting.

If you are lucky enough to get a council property you can manage live on £25k a lot better than someone who is renting privately.

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Vampire1111111@reddit

I'd imagine so! We own our house so are really lucky to have lower outgoings than many. I would really struggle with my income if I was privately renting, I can't believe how much rent costs have gone up in the past decade!

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Western-Mall5505@reddit

I have a mortgage and live in the midlands, and I was lucky to buy when I did, because it's scary how house prices and rents have gone up since covid.

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ldn-ldn@reddit

Where did I say anything about those living on £25k? The problem here is not that someone is having a hard time on £120k, the problem is that the majority has normalised piss poor earnings and lack of nationwide investment and hide behind some stupid logic. The reality is that someone on £120k is a working class person, who can barely dream of owning their own house and this is ridiculous when you consider that just a few families own 40% of land in England. But yeah, let's dunk on a "rich £120k" person! That'll "show 'em"!

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Vampire1111111@reddit

Calm down! Not everything is a personal attack.

The entire thread was filled with comments about people saying that £120k a year is close to poverty, and I'm pointing out that if you think its hard on £120k, imagine trying to live on minimum wage, and you'll see things could be a lot harder.

I'm not in poverty, nor am I on minimum wage, so I'm not dunking on anyone for their salary. Nor am I trying to "show you" anything. I'm literally just saying that £120k income for a home is not poor in the UK. If you think it is, you must be very privileged to not see what real poverty looks like!

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eat-the-fat220@reddit

I think £120k will never be poverty for as long as the minimum wage is £25k.

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Yeah, you're massively out of touch - you need to meet some people in actual poverty as it's not even close.

It's ridiculous hyperbole from someone with a privileged background.

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Pargula_@reddit

You are the one who is out of touch,120k in 2025 for a family of 4 living in London and not getting any kind of benefits due to their income, is, in fact, not that far away from poverty.

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fleaArmy@reddit

Your last sentence sums it up. Your view of very low standards is from a privileged viewpoint.

Poverty means you don't have standards. Because you simply exist. You feed yourself and your child. You pay rent. That is poverty. Standards, are themselves, a privilege.

At first I thought your comment thread above this was you trolling, and I really hope it is, but I think you might actually think 120k is near poverty. My good god if you do. Grow up, do some research, and redefine to yourself what you think poverty actually is.

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Pargula_@reddit

I grew up poor in a third world country buddy, your definition of being poor in the UK would be considered to be doing pretty good there.

If you live in London it's not that far off.

Jaded_Library_8540@reddit

I'm not saying anyone would think a rolls is anything other than a luxury car, I'm saying that, when asked about their upbringing, people generally don't remember the privileges they had.

No she's on record saying his business did very well so he bought a rolls. No shade but they were, and are, rich

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unlaois@reddit

True.

I honestly grew up on a big farm which is in the family hundreds of years and I had a privileged experience. I was the only son so I was out working from a young age, whether I liked it or not mind you. Like very young, driving tractors at 8 years old, Milking cows, feeding calves, bedding straw sheds with a fork, scraping yards, cleaning out sheds and stables, looking after and riding horses.

Lots of my friends dreamed of the farm lifestyle which I took for granted. But they could obviously never get a chance to own one as it would cost millions. I couldn’t see that I was living other people’s dream because I hated the smell of cow shit. I actually thought I had it hard compared to other kids. Now farming is obviously very hard especially for a kid who just wants to play sports and PlayStation.

Like you said, people remember the struggles more than the privileges. Like owning a farm is class but working after school everyday was exhausting. Especially with a father who was angry if you didn’t help him. I didn’t realise how much of a lucky shit I was though. We weren’t Rolls Royce Rich but had it better than most.

I think farming is slightly different though as you genuinely are working class. Some people think “rich landowners” or whatever. But the vast majority of farmers are working class with a working class mindset, work is their life, 365 days a year.

I remember the struggle of it way easier.. instead of the amazing days spent around animals, or driving as fast as I could on an old tractor, or being around my father. I remember the isolation of rural life, the cold, damp and the rain, the cowshit, the physical labour & something always going wrong!

The accompanying video is as good as the cover version.Both just brilliant.Inspired.

Harrry-Otter@reddit

Didn’t his dad abandon the family and Jarvis spent quite a bit of his pre-Pulp fame time on the dole?

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HotelPuzzleheaded654@reddit

He grew up in an ex Manor House and his grandad had a successful shop, my family is from Sheffield and the whole “common people” thing from him draws an eye roll.

Great song though.

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Bgtobgfu@reddit

Sang this at karaoke the other week. It was cathartic.

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Glad-Introduction833@reddit

Just pretend you’ve got no money and she laughed and said your so funny

Well I don’t see anyone else laughing

A true banger from back in the day. Thanks for reminding me and yes the lyrics answer this question haha

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Big-Combination-4732@reddit

DreamtISawJoeHill@reddit

I could understand if it was something with a little thinking involved, but Monopoly?

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ACatGod@reddit

Yes I think there is now a fetishization of poverty. Whereas in previous generations there was a view of poverty being something rather shameful, it's now seen as a badge of honour, as long as you aren't poor now. Being poor now is still stigmatised and this allows us to both celebrate those who pulled themselves up by the bootstraps and justify keeping our foot on the necks of those who are still in poverty by denying them social security, forcing them into poverty traps etc.

There's a parallel in Australia with convicts. My grandfather was Scottish and emigrated to Australia after the war so it wasn't even his family he was talking about, it was my grandmother's, but no one in society would ever admit they were descended from the convicts - they'd all claim they were from folk who chose to move out there or were officers who came out of sign the convicts. Now it's very fashionable to be descended from convicts (my grandfather was horrified we might be - we were never able to quite figure out which of two brothers we're descended from, one was a convict and one was his brother who chose to come with him so he wouldn't be alone). However, god forbid you have a criminal record now, you're pretty much seen as scum of the earth. It's not as bad as the US but it's still pretty bad.

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Good0times@reddit

I think it tells you how desperate people are for validation. Rags to riches myths have become embedded into our brains. Orson Welles, Alan Sugar, Colonel Saunders, Rihanna. People just love eating up that Dale Carnegie crap.

What about other rags to riches stories? Saddam Hussein, Xi Jinping, Yahya Sinwar, Josef Stalin. Truly the worst scum on the earth but they also "worked their way up" to the top. Why aren't writers praising them for their innovative guile and intrinsic ability to succeed?

Starting out in poverty is ridiculous. You are surrounded by crime drugs prostitution and other bullshit. You can't get work and or find a stable place to live. It is soul-destroying. Nobody who comes from that place would brag about it.

There was some research done by the LSE on that: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/jan/18/why-professional-middle-class-brits-insist-working-class?

'Why do so many professional, middle-class Brits insist they're working class?'

LSE’s new study shows how our fetishisation of meritocracy makes privileged people frame their lives as an uphill struggle.
(...)
In our report, we argue that these intergenerational understandings of class origin should be read as having a performative dimension; they deflect attention away from the structural privileges these individuals enjoy, both in their own eyes but also among those they communicate their origin stories to in everyday life. At the same time, by framing their lives as an upward struggle against the odds, these interviewees misrepresent their subsequent life outcomes as more worthy, more deserving and more meritorious.
(...)
But this research also tells us something broader. It shows us another worrying byproduct of our fetishisation of meritocracy. Michael Sandel has recently written about the meritocratic hubris of the successful, who increasingly feel they deserve the disproportionate rewards they receive.

What is less understood, though, is how this meritocratic hubris also impacts how the successful narrate their origins. Here, the privileged face competing pressures: they must on one hand ward off suspicions that their achievements have been accelerated by inherited advantage, and on the other answer to a policy agenda that presents the upwardly mobile as meritocracy’s winners. Their answer, it seems, is to reach for extended family histories that allow them to tell an upwardly mobile story.
(...)

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Raunien@reddit

Why do so many professional, middle-class Brits insist they're working class?'

Because they probably are. We've got this strange conception of class in this country where in order to be working class you have to be some flatcap wearing stereotype living on the breadline. The fact is, if you have to work for a living, and don't own/control the company you work for, you're working class.

People who are working class include:
Baristas
Middle management
Doctors
Bin men
Solicitors Footballers

People who are not working class include:
Landlords
CEOs
Venture capitalists

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Responsible-Life-960@reddit

While managers, doctors and footballers do profit from their labour and are part of the proletariat, it's disingenuous to call them "working class" in British socioeconomic terms

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cowbutt6@reddit

Indeed. Whilst individuals in those careers may not own the means of their own production, they probably own least of someone else's (e.g. via their pension investments, if nothing else).

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Raunien@reddit

In that case, nobody counts as working class because everyone who has a pension technically owns some kind of capital (even though all they're actually doing is putting it in a collective pot that is then used as capital by financial institutions who then give you back a percentage of their gains)

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So a footballers earning millions each year is working class whilst a farmer who earns about £50k is aristocracy?

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Raunien@reddit

Is the farmer actually doing the farming, or is he just a landlord larping as a farmer?

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homemadegrub@reddit

Working, but he I guess he has the option to quit if gets fed up with it all and leave his land out to nature and just plant a big vegetable patch for him and his wife.

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Raunien@reddit

Working

Well there you are

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BooeySchmooey@reddit

One of my best friends does this. Says she grew up poor but…grew up in a detached house, went on holidays no working class person would be able to afford (California road trips, Disneyland, all over Europe) before she was 18 and was able to afford university with no grants.

She’s a great person otherwise but as someone that grew up in a very financially unstable home, it’s does annoy me when she talks about “growing up poor” i think she (and others that do this) want to be seen as relatable, whereas, id rather someone own it.

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Recsq@reddit

We are an incredibly horrible country, and the jealousy she'd receive is of the scale. she probably cant use her normal voice either..

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BooeySchmooey@reddit

I’m not sure what you mean by using her own voice? She absolutely does (very thick Yorkshire accent) but I also think it’s about growing up in more of a working class area when she wasn’t and didn’t want to come across as snobby.

The reverse of that though, is now she tries to come across as if she’s lived an impoverished life when really, she was quite fortunate.

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benjaminchang1@reddit

This makes a lot of sense.

Personally, I'm from a fairly nice town but come from a low income household. My parents are both educated, but circumstances have meant that the household income is very low. However, I'd never say that I'm impoverished because I'm not.

I'm just extremely lucky that my parents bought their house in the 90s and had decent jobs before my brother and I were born. Although we were too poor to be impacted by the 2008 recession, I'd still never call it poverty because we didn't miss out on anything.

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Eastern_Bit_9279@reddit

Who said being working class means being in poverty ?

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Triana89@reddit

I noticed a few like that. Funny how I was the only EMA kid of the lot, and couldn't relate to their experiences of regualr holidays, going abroad and so on.

Zanki@reddit

£30. I used to get it when I was in school. I was able to have the internet at home because of it.

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Additional-Nobody352@reddit

It may have been £30 TBH it was 20 years ago.

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Triana89@reddit

I don't like thinking about how long ago it was!

I realised the other day that in a few months it will be the same time from being born to starting uni as starting uni to now is and I am not ok with it. Even worse is that I also realised that I have since made friends who's kids are about to start uni in September who were still gestating at this point while I was getting my stuff ready to go.

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gloomsbury@reddit

I had loads of classmates at uni who were very, very quiet about the fact that they went to private schools. Most of them were involved in student politics or activism of some kind and probably thought admitting to being upper middle class would damage their lefty street cred (which it did, but not as much as being caught pretending to be poor).

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powpow198@reddit

Sussex?

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Dedward5@reddit

It’s quite funny though when you just say “hey yep, I’m middle class” in an entirely uncompetitive way. My mum had horses and my dad drove a SAAB, I mean, there is no going back from that.

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truepip66@reddit

'probably not much different to people dressing like gang bangers from a ghetto in the US .Why,I don't know

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J_Kendrew@reddit

They like to make it seem like they have made it all themselves despite having all the odds against them. The fact is that the people who truly do come from poor backgrounds and make a lot of money are few and far between. Unfortunately it's vastly easier to make money if you already have money so the rich get richer and the average person does well to own a home and support a family with a decent standard of living. Rich people also don't like to be too honest about this situation as it highlights their privilege and the inequality in society.

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There's a huge difference between all of that and someone making fun of you for shopping at waitrose or something.

Obviously being bullied for any reason is shit and middle-class people don't deserve mockery for just existing. But in my experience a lot of the time they are actually just offended that one of us has the gall to point out their privilege/innate classism, and choose to interpret that as a personal attack

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Ok-Train5382@reddit

You sound like someone who’s not done anything with their life and wants to blame it on the system rather than take some accountability for it.

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David-Cassette-alt@reddit

You sound like a classist who's jumping to ridiculous assumptions with no foundations whatsoever and just wants to shame people who've faced a lot of hardship, violence and discrimination. In truth I've done a lot with my life. Despite never having a single music lesson I've taught myself to play multiple instruments, to write, arrange and record music and have literally written hundreds of songs with zero outside help whatsoever. But go on, keep assuming that any working class person who speaks out against the system of oppression and exploitation in this country is just a feckless, lazy poor. fuck off.

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Ok-Train5382@reddit

I’m working class you knobber and literally any of my mates would read the wank shit you wrote and think you were a bellend.

There's a lot of people who will publicly give praise if someone is or has worked up from 'working class'. And there's a lot of people who will publicly get upset if someone is 'middle' or 'upper' class, or just seems too much like that 'must have forgotton their roots' 'who do they think they are?' 'theyre not any better than us just because theyve got that job/degree'

So there's not many reasons for someone who was born and raised in a comfortable position to be open about that, but every reason to pretend to just be yet another working class hero who fought the odds and pulled themselves up.

Hazeygazey@reddit

Modern Britain puts the lowest on a pedestal??

Deluded

Utterly utterly deluded

You have every privilege going, and will have a nice easy life

Kids born to poor families have virtually zero chance of not being poor, no matter how damn hard they work.

Seriously, get some perspective

orsonhodged@reddit

To a certain extent this is all subjective. Everyone is aware of what other people have, that they do not. That may make them feel like they did not grow up well off. I think it’s more in adulthood that you realise how well off you are, or are not. But that doesn’t change your perspective of childhood and your memories from back then.

Personally I didn’t think I was well off growing up. As an adult I recognise that I grew up in a privileged position compared to others as my family were educated & decent earners, never reliant on the state, owned property in a nice area, both had cars etc. But at the same time I was definitely exposed to people who had it much better than me in school. I don’t think in school I would have been considered well off.

Plus recently there’s aspects of working class culture that are pop culture, like speaking in a certain way, listening to certain music or dressing in a certain way. You see it with “road men” from nice families for example. It’s just the way boys of a certain age dress rather than cosplaying poverty.

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ToePsychological8709@reddit

Loads of the well off kids from my schools adopted chav clothing and accents at school it was absolutely pathetic and to be honest some never even grew out of it.

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Recsq@reddit

Otherwise they'd be made to live in hell

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Hellolaoshi@reddit

There are probably a number of reasons. One is that people may want to blend in and appear modest, not boasting about their situation.

Somebody's gotta do it if the actual upper class people won't!

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tommmmmmmmy93@reddit

Hey I know this one! I come from "well-off" and therefore a lot of my friends are the same.

There's more ordinary income households than higher income. Kids try to fit innwith the masses as a general rule. Some never grow out of it. Some embrace it. Some go the reverse.

I have a friend whose parents' annual income exceeded £5m/year during his school days and they sent him to a public school because they wanted him to know reality and that he's not Some special protected flower.

He's a best friend of mine to this day because he ended up not a snob. Yes his family has wealth but honestly you'd never know if you met him today. He never talks about money and holds a pretty normal job.

Sometimes the pretending comes from a good place and is expressed incorrectly.

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unbelievablydull82@reddit

I knew someone from a very privileged background. She had a classical musician for a father, and an English professor for a mother. In spite of this, she decided to become a single mother on benefits, in social housing. She was far left, and had an obsession with trying to be working class. She could never give an answer why, but she was a fish out of water. No one on the estate liked her, she was raising her daughter to hate men, and the kid was a little terror, who would hit cars with a metal bar she had found, and her mother would put a half arsed effort into stopping her. I feel like she had a fetish for the working class, but had no idea what it was like to be one

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Pleasant-chamoix-653@reddit

Like me in Rajasthan and Yemen lol

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Prestigious-Baker-67@reddit

So you knew someone whose dad was a musician and mum was a teacher.

She got knocked up, couldn't get a job, family didn't/couldn't financially support her, her baby daddy ran, and everyone hates her because she's miserable and had a posh childhood. People like you act like she chose to be poor, depressed, and alone.

Recsq@reddit

Working class people do not like chavs?

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BlitzballPlayer@reddit

I think it feeds into the human tendency to want to fit in with the immediate group and surroundings.

Watch how a banker who grew up comfortably middle class and makes over £100,000 a year acts with their colleagues versus when they mix with working class people (at a pub, or thrown together with strangers at a wedding for example).

PriorCarpenter8007@reddit

The upper classes want to be working class because they want to be appear self made and relatable despite being the opposite of that

And the middle class want to be upper class because then they get to do all the things the upper class take for granted like skiing in the french alps, going to vineyards and generally being seen as 'cultured'

The working class, I dunno what we want, just to be able to get enough money to scrape together soke sort of decent living and afford to have a few pints on the weekend

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spik0rwill@reddit

And the middle class want to be upper class because then they get to do all the things the upper class take for granted like skiing in the french alps, going to vineyards and generally being seen as 'cultured'

That's a load of bollocks.

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PriorCarpenter8007@reddit

Seems I touched a nerve here

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spik0rwill@reddit

Nah, it's a ridiculous thing to say that's all. Your average middle class family don't care about keeping up with the Joneses.

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JorgiEagle@reddit

Part of it is a reaction, possibly subconscious, to avoid facing the reality of the problem of poverty in the country.

If you pretend that you worked hard and earned what you have from the sweat of your brow, other people can too. If they don’t, it’s their problem.

Another is perspective. Almost everyone has someone they can look to who is richer than them. So it’s easy for people to justify that they weren’t rich when X was richer than we.

E.g. lots of working class kids rarely go abroad on holiday, but the local jumped up rich twat who goes skiing every summer has everything.

From the perspective of jumped up rich twat, you go skiing every year, but you’re not that rich, you still have to rent a hotel room and your skis. The Mason family own a lodge here, and have their own skis, and they come whenever they want

The Mason family are well off, but we’re not that rich. Yes we have a lodge, but it’s small and on the other end of town. The Bennett’s own the hotel complex, and have a private room.

The Bennett’s are rich (by this point) but not that rich. The Darcy’s have an entire resort… in America!

I grew up on council estates and now interact with mostly C Suite from larger businesses.

When I get to know them personally, they usually compare more. Their childhood may have been utopia to me, but compared to their richer friends it was harder. When you grow up poor, you compare a lot less inherently. Noone you know really has anything to compare to.

So it doesn't exactly answer your question, but I'd imagine they see the council estate as closer to them than they are to their rich friends even though in reality that's nothing.

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joshhyb153@reddit

I think we as Brits tend to downplay everything we have or to. We always route for the underdog and turn our noses up at snobbery and flash gits.

I assume it comes from a place of trying to be humble.

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xsorr@reddit

Probably thinks if you're not dirty rich, then you're just avg worker idk

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Obvious-Water569@reddit

Because there's nothing cool about being a spoiled little rich boy.

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theModge@reddit

I think another element to this is that those of us in our 40s are as a generation richer than our parents. Maybe we can't afford houses, and they could, but a lot less of us are living on bread and dripping for half the week (less of us are paid weekly too), so we feel like we've gone up in the world.

The point everyone has made about people needing to show they got where they are as a result of their own hardwork and not luck is entirety true as well of course.

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fergie@reddit

The real tragedy is that working class people (read: people who have to work for a living), don't identify as being working class.

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Doreboms@reddit

It's not cooler to grow up not having money. What's cooler is the perceived "authenticity" that comes with being poor. The creative authenticity of your art reflecting both systemic and personal struggle. The emotional authenticity of enduring hardship. The cultural diversity of many low-income communities.

These are things that, in the minds of the rich, they cannot truly attain no matter how much money they have, because they can only be gained through the experience of being poor.

And the rich are enormously entitled and are used to having the things they want.

So, rather than trying to cultivate emotional authenticity or express the emotion of their personal struggles, some will simply use their money and privilege to mimic the cultural expressions of the poor. That way, they get all the benefits of being perceived to be cool and authentic, without having to actually create anything original or suffer more than they absolutely have to.

Also, there are a lot more poor people than rich people, which means that cultural products that poor people enjoy and relate to are going to enjoy a much larger audience, and in many cases be a lot more profitable.

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Ok_Charity9544@reddit

Wishing you the best for the future dude. Forget them arseholes at school. Just the UK in general has a really strange take on success / wealth. People always sneer at it like people are ‘above their station’, it’s always thinly veiled jealousy imo.

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Recsq@reddit

They absolutely bloody ruined me. I know now I was extremely pretty... I thought I was ugly and worthless, as many people told me every day all my childhood, and often, tried to rearrange my face.

I've never had a life. I don't want to be around people who will criticize me for my accent and everything else, so I'm not sure where to find anyone. And I'd rather not put on a fake accent, like I have to do a bit obviously..

I'm successful now, though working online, so I thought once I got there I'd find something, but nope. I've been hiding in the shadows for 22 fucking years now. Yes, I have been going to the gym for the last 2 years and am now very handsome again.. maybe I should have just stayed far.

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This applies to basically everyone in the country regardless of wealth, except for nobility/royalty, who are the tiny tiny minority of upper class, again regardless of wealth

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Recsq@reddit

I don't think hate is a strong word at all. It's bitter bitter hatred.

Or maybe people hate my looks and my intelligence, my manners etc... Not my class

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BraveBoot7283@reddit

I know I'm working class. But then I do live in bradford lol.

I'm middle class more or less. Never really done the "'ard man" thing but was very uncomfortable about owning the privilege.

I think it's because, well, it is privilege. You have to admit, yeah I got a (in some cases huge) leg up on all of you fuckers, and I'm still here in the fucking trenches being absolutely shit at life. Sucks to admit that you suck

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spik0rwill@reddit

This sounds familiar..

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Narrow_Relative2149@reddit

I wouldn't say we were poor, cause we went on holidays as a kid but I was never really given cash and went to public school and paid for my own college/uni.

I managed to make it, got a nice car (Lambo) and house etc.

There's another guy I know, whose dad had a successful business, has a nice house and essentially paid for both his kids (him and his brother) to do karting (very expensive hobby) and employed them within his business.

Apparently (from a friend) at some wedding he said something along the lines of (about me): "it's easier to make money when you've come from nothing" to which his father stepped in and sort of said: "you're wrong this time son".

Public means elite private school here..

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WhuTom@reddit

The way I interpret it is:

we all know that posh people have it easier in getting through life with many forms of capital (social, cultural and financial)
if you are friends, colleagues or otherwise associated at the same station in life as someone coming from more money than you, they’ve been more wasteful of their privileges than you. It’s a judgement on them.

Most of people's statements about themselves and political beliefs are merely based on what they perceive as high status/ approval.

People used to work hard to drop their accent and pretend they were a higher class see "Keeping up Appearances".

The high status belief system ATM is social justice which has a focus on privilege, this incentives posh twats to obscure their social status.

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Doreboms@reddit

The high status belief system ATM is social justice

Err, no. The high status belief system has been for some time - and remains - capitalism and materialism.

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Any-Mycologist8868@reddit

Lol is that why every advert and film has a diversity quota. Films can't even win awards now without a minimum amount of brown people in it.

My work has me do woke training every year.

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Doreboms@reddit

Oh, you're one of those.

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Any-Mycologist8868@reddit

People with basic awareness and pattern recognition skills. Yes I'm one of those, you are one of the people I was talking about in my original comment.

The working-class thing just became what's cool I guess. Suppose it makes sense because we vilify the idea of having things handed to you.

Oh right. Damn. My parents has loads of money, didn't have to work .. and they basically impoverished me in every way so I could be grounded!!!

I got to eat health food right at least, yay.. it wasn't very nice lol

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Professional-Bear857@reddit

Wealth is a lot more entrenched now, working class people don't tend to get the economic opportunities that they used to back in the 60s and 70s. It's almost like the well off and middle classes are trying to fill in the missing part of society that they don't interact with anymore by pretending to be one of them.

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lavayuki@reddit

Well for me, my income is a lot less than my parents so I feel like Im a downgrade. Although I am financially independent and live away from them, because my income is about one one seventh of my dad’s income, I can’t justify acting posh, when my income is at most middle class

My parents were very wealthy with multiple properties, and I am not. That was my reason. They would give me money if I ask them, but I don’t want to leech off my parents unless I actually have to

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handtoglandwombat@reddit

It’s mortally just because there’s a stigma attached to it. There’s a stigma attached to most things.

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Chance-Papaya3705@reddit

The irony is that most Brits, who clamour for the perceived glamour and trappings of wealth, regard wealthy, successful people with disdain and mistrust. More so if they didn't 'work for it'. Our failed political system perpetuates this paradox.

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Coocoocachoo1988@reddit

I think some people are a bit confused as to what it means to be working class. I lived in my partners home country for a while and met a few people who were proudly working class, but got about £1k a month in help from their parents because it was hard to find consistent work.

I think it's for sympathy, like a lot of things rn. Same situation as when people pretend their parents are super strict or abusive. Some people just crave sympathy, especially teenagers.

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angusdunican@reddit

The Tories

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No-Garbage9500@reddit

Everyone loves to be Pro-lier than thou.

Not many people like admitting they're from a well off family, it makes their failures look even worse.

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si329dsa9j329dj@reddit

Not many people like admitting they're from a well off family,

The reality is everyone's definition of a well off family differs. And it's common for people to simply wave anyone wealtheir than them as "well off" and therefore disregard their achievements.

The UK has a huge amount of crab bucket mentality, and it leads to people not wanting to outwardly seem to be boasting or showing off, therefore acting as if their background is worse than it really was.

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Teembeau@reddit

Everyone likes to pretend that success is solely down to them. In some cases, it very much is. Steve Jobs didn't come from money. Alan Sugar didn't come from money.

I have a lot of respect for Jamie Lee Curtis who was quite open that she got an advantage. She says that she thinks she got parts early on because an interviewer could always ask a question about her parents if they had nothing else, and that can be the edge over someone else. And if someone was casting a movie and had two actresses who were both good at their jobs, that would give her an edge.

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Queen_of_London@reddit

Because they want the kudos of having grown up poor and overcome lots of obstacles to success, without having to actually overcome those obstacles.

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jimmywhereareya@reddit

I wanna live like common people, I wanna live like common people like you.

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hrrymcdngh@reddit

Secondary reading: Common People, Pulp

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NeverCadburys@reddit

For a few different reasons.

One set have an understanding of vast wealth that they measure their own living to, and their shallow understanding of the term is workng class is any family where one member works. Compared to royal family, they live in poverty. I used to know someone who lived in a nice semi owned, 2 car household with sports lessons, music lessons and expensive trinkets on the wall and still thought she was poor.

Because middle class people are portrayed as limp wristed squares

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