How do you perceive exclamation marks in work emails?
Posted by Spentworth@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 83 comments
My wife is from the US and uses a lot of exclamation marks (!) in her professional emails but I was saying I think they're intense and aggressive. How do you feel about them? What about just texting friends?
amaluna@reddit
I use them and have had people say that they’re aggressive and I can’t explain how dumb I think that is
rachaelg666@reddit
I’m a woman in my 40s in a senior role and I love them! (!) Women are constantly told to moderate their language and approach to work in order to be taken more seriously and I refuse to do so. I mean obviously I don’t use them out of context or at inappropriate moments, but I am here for a friendly email with punctuation to match. It hasn’t held me back! (!!!!)
Goldf_sh4@reddit
It's just so very unfriendly though.
rachaelg666@reddit
To say “thanks!” Or “see you tomorrow!” ?
Goldf_sh4@reddit
One's not unfriendly. It's when there's more than one.
rachaelg666@reddit
Genuinely can’t think of an example where I, or anyone I work with, would use multiple exclamation marks in a sentence haha
OliveIndividual2968@reddit
Are you using (!) to indicate sarcasm or just spares?
rachaelg666@reddit
Why would I be sarcastic to my colleagues?! Enthusiasm and happiness only here
Suspicious-Movie4993@reddit
It depends on the context and what is written before the exclamation mark. Exclamation marks are emphasis on the point being made. Saying ‘that was so funny!’ Isn’t aggressive, neither is ‘that’s isn’t funny!’ But both emphasize the statement. It’s not shouting either, saying ‘THATS NOT FUNNY!’ Is shouting and emphasizing the point.
Goldf_sh4@reddit
The job of an exclamation mark isn't to denote emphasis. The job of an exclamation mark is to show surprise. This is why "Thank you!!!" Really means "I'm surprised to be thanking you because I actually really hate you."
Suspicious-Movie4993@reddit
You clearly don’t know the English language very well. You can literally Google what is the meaning of exclamation marks and it states its to emphasize something. Saying ‘Thank you!!!’ Doesn’t mean they are surprised to be thanking you or they hate you at all. It means the opposite!!!
Goldf_sh4@reddit
I'm an English teacher. I'm English. I live in England.
Djinjja-Ninja@reddit
As the grey Sir pTerry wrote:
caliandris@reddit
When I started work as an editor I was told no more than one exclamation mark in an article. Or else!
I was then warned that multiple exclamation marks was as much of a warning sign about a correspondent as green ink.
When I received a letter written in green ink with multiple exclamation marks on the back of a McDonald's tray liner, I knew to invoke file w.
GroundFast7793@reddit
What's file w?
caliandris@reddit
Wastepaperbasket
fussyfella@reddit
I was taught exclamation marks should only be used within quotes of speech - that is after all when something exclaimed, and even now in the middle of regular prose they look out of place and wrong to me.
I would use other typographic techniques like italics or bold to show emphasis in things like emails. They should still be used sparingly though.
Spadders87@reddit
I use exclamation marks quite a lot. Mainly in txt messages though.
My wife had this discussion with her younger colleagues the other day where she ended up showing our texts to them. It stemmed from her using full stops in messages. They said it was aggressive and blunt. And they commented on my exclamation marks 'why is he always shouting'.
I use exclamation marks because im generally a pretty excitable person and thats what theyre used for, to express strong emotion, surprise excitement or emphasis. Im not sure when it got understood to be shouting or aggressive but its definitely changed.
thecuriousiguana@reddit
I have a strict "one per email" rule, otherwise you start to look a little bit manic
Exhibit A
Hi Dave, Thanks so much for sending over the report! I've had a quick look and it's very helpful! I'm looking forward to discussing it further when we meet on Tuesday!
Exhibit B
Hi Dave, Thanks so much for sending over the report. I've had a quick look and it's very helpful. I'm looking forward to discussing it further when we meet on Tuesday! Best regards,
Fun-Educator6230@reddit
For those of us who know the importance of punctuation. I once worked for an US engineering company, when they went on the rant on an email, they went on the rant.
So this day I received an email that was 2 A4 pages long, with not even a comma or full stop, only the occasional capital letter to give me a clue. I diligently went through the email punctuating as I saw fit. But, a comma, full stop or what ever in the wrong place changes the entire context.
The answers I came up with were not what they wanted, they ended up ringing the Company MD complaining, that I was totally incompetent. I threw the email back at him & CFO and said, didn’t hold my words and said “If I’m fkng incompetent, ask them to go back to school and learn English, or you tell me what they mean by this email?”
The US office couldn’t understand our problem, to them it made sense, then it was spelt out to them - it didn’t make sense to Brits, tell use exactly what you need… and we will get the info.
NotMyRealName981@reddit
It depends on the person sending the email, and on their cultural background. I've worked in various multinational companies, and communication conventions vary between countries. I vaguely remember that Germans use a lot of exclamation marks as well.
doodles2019@reddit
On the occasion I’ve worked with people who love a multiple punctuation point (either !,? or a mix of the two) I am put in mind of Terry Pratchett, who wrote : multiple exclamation marks are the sure sign of a diseased mind.
Weird_Influence1964@reddit
No need for them
HeartyBeast@reddit
I have been known to ‘doh!’ when i forget to attach the file.
Glittering_Crew_5991@reddit
Go with the basic. Assume the best of intentions because most people are not trying to be cunts. They are just trying to get through the day
joselleclementine@reddit
My dad who's like a child learning rubix uses multiple on each facebook post. It sure brings a whole new meaning 🤦🏻♀️ (!!!)
braddoismydoggo@reddit
I very rarely use them , I suppose you could say my work emails are rather dry.
But, when a customer uses a shitload of them I immediately think they are a knob and probably incorrect in their assumptions. I take immense delight in proving them wrong. No need for exclamation marks, a simple "I hope this helps" is passive aggressive enough for me.
Bloxskit@reddit
I have a thing for writing exclamation marks as either !! or !!!!
Vertigo_uk123@reddit
Why don’t you suggest running the email through gpt or DeepSeek to change the tone of the email.
nepeta19@reddit
Dazzling-Werewolf985@reddit
You were correct to tell her that imo. I definitely interpret them the way you do especially if they spam loads of them in a row. It’s benign of course and it’s probably just down to personal preference but it just seems so…juvenile almost? Perhaps she’s worried about coming across as cold or stern in her writing? It doesn’t really change much for me at least though tbh, if you’ve written something coldly then it will still be cold no matter how many of them you tack on the end.
DrHydeous@reddit
They signify excitement, and using them when talking about the most utterly uninteresting things comes across as childish.
Psycho_Husband@reddit
Like all things, it depends on the context.
I need that report now!!! is possibly brutal.
Thank you for the help!!! is likely grateful.
Scarred_fish@reddit
"I need that report now!!" means "I am too stupid to use a telephone"
"Thank you for your help!!" means "I had it all sorted and then you fucked it up."
Psycho_Husband@reddit
Are you my boss?
You sound like my boss. They are a real POS 💩
Goldf_sh4@reddit
I would read "Thank you for the help!!!" As "You didn't help one bit and I hate you for it".
Psycho_Husband@reddit
I can see that now. Fair!!!
Gullible_Fan4427@reddit
I really like this answer! It’s fantastic!
marlonoranges@reddit
Sorry I took a while to answer. don't know where my head is!
Fun-Educator6230@reddit
Well if our cousins across the pond would know where to put a comma, full stop, question mark, or even new paragraph. Their emails might make sense… I love returning them asking them to punctuate, so there is no misinterpretation as to what they are talking about!
Scarred_fish@reddit
Exclamation marks, like most punctuation, is what separates someone worth paying attention to and replying promptly, from some illerate buffoon who can bugger off until they learn how to write.
In other words, if grammatically correct and appropriate, they are fine.
If not, the author isn't worth my time.
Dolphin_Spotter@reddit
You are allowed one exclamation mark per year!
Swimming-Lie5369@reddit
For me it's one exclamation mark per email
Or per paragraph!
AdWest743@reddit
I don't use exclamation marks in every email but where I do use it, I'll make sure I only use one. So sometimes I have to go back through the email and change an exclamation mark to a full stop if I think it's better used somewhere else!
Spentworth@reddit (OP)
Crap! Think I've reached my quota.
GroundFast7793@reddit
I'm 45 and have never used one. Can I assume I have 45 saved up for a rainy day?
toby1jabroni@reddit
I take them to indicate an exclamation. The words are more important.
Embarrassed-Yak-8269@reddit
My husband worked for a US company and noticed these communication differences . He has a very dry sense of humour ; sent one frequent offender a whole load of exclamation marks etc back , saying ‘ I have sent some of these back to you as I thought you may be in danger of running out ‘
mooosylucy@reddit
😂😂😂
International_Zebra4@reddit
I perceive them negatively
availablelighter@reddit
I NEVER USE THEM; TOO INTENSE
Justha-Tip@reddit
I started adding exclamation points because I have RBF and new people were wary of me and I wanted to seem more enthusiastic and approachable. Now when I send “Great job!” or “That’s fantastic!”, they assume I’m being sarcastic. I might try smiley face stickers next or gold stars…
However if someone emailed me something along the lines of “I need you to do XYZ!” that better be followed by them bringing me a cuppa and saying “please” in person or they’re getting he bare minimum effort out of me for the next 20 years.
CalligrapherFit8962@reddit
If I’ve been particularly helpful and have gone out of my way to assist someone, I really appreciate the enthusiasm of a simple “thank you!”.
There’s a lot of bewildering judgement in the comments here.
Goldf_sh4@reddit
I would read "Thank you!" As "Thank you for finally getting off your arse."
Goldf_sh4@reddit
I see it as a direct insult.
Particular_Advance84@reddit
oooooOOOOOoooohhhhh
Shouty
Valuable-Wallaby-167@reddit
If someone started to use exclamation marks in work emails more than very occasionally I would assume they were either highly excitable or constantly furious
Advanced-Fig6699@reddit
I use them because I’m highly excitable!
randomusername8472@reddit
I thought I used them quite a lot, to express that I'm highly exciteable. But I just skimmed through my messages and I've only used about 3 in the last few days. "Great minds!" (same message sent at the same time). "Thanks a lot!" and "\~rambling excited rant about some data showing positive results where we thought it would be bad\~! :D"
mamoncloud@reddit
I'm 100% more likely to only use them at work to inflect a playful tone
MurderedByTheBurbs@reddit
I despise them. But as a woman who worked in a corporate office in the US for a number of years, I was coached to use them, as my plain-speaking emails “weren’t friendly sounding enough.” It’s been almost ten years and I’m still trying to break myself of the habit.
Thanks so much!! :) Bleh.
Skyla_twinkly@reddit
Exclamation marks can add warmth in work emails, but too many might seem intense. In texts with friends, they’re just a way to show excitement. It all depends on context! 😊
polymath_uk@reddit
Sparingly and only when absolutely necessary. Not just at random!
PhDblueberry@reddit
I’m from Canada and use a lot of exclamation marks as well. I was told during professional development here in the UK that they might come across as aggressive, especially to people with English as a second language (I’m a teacher)
Jack_ABC123@reddit
I'm careful outside of my team, but in team emails and messages I use them to soften the language - counter intuitive. Writing plain messages sounds so monotone, might make people think I'm just a boring fuck, so I use them to add some sense of enthusiasm.
Hey, hope you had a good weekend! Can we catch up sometime?
Hey, hope you don't mind, do you have an update on that task?...Ah amazing thankyou!
Etc etc
badgersruse@reddit
Depends on the culture. For example, Spanish speakers naturally use exclamation marks a lot, even when writing in English.
WiseBelt8935@reddit
i've always assumed it was shouting.
anabsentfriend@reddit
NO IT ISN'T!!!
WiseBelt8935@reddit
┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴
ok, sorry ‽
Baby8227@reddit
An exclamation is making a point so if I’m praising it means you’ve done brilliant. If I’m complaining you’re crap 😂
Crackers-defo-600@reddit
Exclamation marks should never be used in a professional setting. Too easily misused misinterpreted unnecessary and aggressive
JohnRCC@reddit
Speak for yourself!!!
Crackers-defo-600@reddit
🤣🤣🤣
shelfside1234@reddit
I hate the exclamation mark, due to years of the following:
URGENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CheekyYoghurts@reddit
Tacky and childish.
If you can't exclaim without them, you must have a very basic vocabulary.
Fancy-Professor-7113@reddit
Over punctuating is lazy writing if you're doing it professionally.
A WTF???!!! on a PM is different, but I immediately judge someone's capacity to make a point in writing if they stick exclamation marks or whatever everywhere.
It's really annoying!!!
Do you see???
It makes me think they draw hearts for the dots in real life!!!!!!
MKMK123456@reddit
I think it's the same as thumping a desk to make your point.
Needlessly aggressive!!!!!!!!!!!
barrybreslau@reddit
Annoying and unprofessional.
BlackJackKetchum@reddit
Tacky. Really, really tacky.
Mr-Incy@reddit
It depends on who sent the email and what the wording is.
Most people use them to express a point, and in most cases it is usually someone having a bit of a rant.
C-Langay@reddit
Wow! That’s so interesting!
SnooCakes1636@reddit
Depends.
I wouldn’t use them in an email to somebody I don’t know, for example.
I do use them in emails to my team and others I work closely with though
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