ULPT: getting out of jury duty

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tealc_comma_the@reddit

Jury duty kicks ass!

Also, if you were in court, would you want your jury to only consist of the people too stupid to get out of it?

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Kooldanny64@reddit

I definitely DONT want the people that DONT want to be there. YES, YES, HE'S GUILTY. CAN I GO HOME NOW?

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PragmaticBadGuy@reddit

Say you have undiagnosed IBS or similar and have to go to the bathroom very often.

Say that only God can truly judge a man and that you'd offend Him to do in his stead. If they refute that? Scream "Allahu Akbar" and glare at the judge.

I'm not paying your bail if you're held in contempt for the second one

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I do have IBS and several others disabilities. I asked my doctor to sign an excuse from jury duty for me, and instead she put exactly which accommodations I'd need to serve. The summons says no food and only clear water bottles in the courthouse, my notes says "must have access to snack and drinks". "Needs frequent breaks, must be able to change position frequently (sitting to standing), must have frequent bathroom breaks" Guess I'll see what the court says about it!

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The_Bandit_King_@reddit

Then throw your shoe at the Judge!

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Oioifrollix@reddit

I wore this shirt to my first day of jury duty. they told me I was good to go and didn’t need to come back within 5 minutes.

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Difficult_Fun7859@reddit

Yasss queen slay

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SatanicTeapot@reddit

If you think it was that easy then everyone would have one. I hope you never need the justice system in your life.

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Lanky_Simple2938@reddit

most law-abiding citizens should not ever have to be in the courtroom for either defending themselves or holding the government accountable or being a Christian that's very constitutional.

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6L6aglow@reddit

I wore a tie dye and read Kurt Vonnegut's Jailbird during jury selection. They made me foreman of the jury.😥

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Awkula@reddit

It’s really not that hard to get out of jury duty.

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Dudeasaurus2112@reddit

I’d probably say 95% of the time you aren’t even going to be out in a panel. The prosecutors just have you there as a threat to the defendant. I’ve been to JD twice and both times they had us line up ready to go in for selection and wouldn’t you know at the last minute they said a deal was made, Never mind you are free to go.

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tagman375@reddit

Throw out a “I’d rather be carried by six than judged by 12”

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SiDeWayZ209@reddit

Give me advice ? I hate jury duty

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Awkula@reddit

They don’t want jurors who really, really don’t want to be there.

Say it would be a real hardship because of child care / being a caregiver for a relative / upcoming surgery / travel plans with tickets booked.

Whatever it seems to be about, act like you think you’re an expert on it, like you collect books about medical malpractice, or you’re writing a book about trespassing laws. Brag about how much you know.

Say you’ve been personally affected by what it’s about - someone close to you was killed by a drunk driver, you feel strongly that insurance cheated your parents out of something and drove them to an early grave.

Be kind of a know it all, or some kind of snob, or classist or racist. When they ask you a question kind of roll your eyes and say everyone knows that. Or act really stupid like you can barely understand what’s going on. Or be sarcastic and act like you think everything’s kind of funny or silly. Or ACAB or all lawsuits are frivolous.

I’m not a lawyer and this isn’t legal advice. Don’t get yourself fined for contempt or something. But make it clear you don’t want jury duty and you would hate it.

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LowAd3406@reddit

I had a friend say "You don't ever want your fate decided by someone too dumb to get out of jury duty".

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500ls@reddit

All you really have to do is throw out the notice and forget about it.

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aeellen89@reddit

I think there are levels of bias in everyone where it would really be impossible to address, but for me if they say are you always for the cop, I said yes, are you biased towards this, yes...yes and yes. It makes you unreliable in every circumstance making them dismiss you.

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lemmylemonlemming@reddit

Don't register to vote.

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RedLily08@reddit

That no longer applies. It doesn't matter if you are registered of not now

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Angelfish7723@reddit

That doesn't work, they used driver's li sense records too.

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Grizzlyadam93@reddit (OP)

Yea a lot of good that did me last election 🤷‍♂️

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gundam2017@reddit

Just show up and say you cant be impartial. Youll get excused and $45 for the day

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RedLily08@reddit

$45? Better than the $12 I got at least

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LGFL5000@reddit

Idk where you live but in StL it’s $12 a day.

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Ok-Cicada-9985@reddit

Washington State is also $12 for the day.

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Correct-Forever-8931@reddit

In Memphis, TN is $8. It cost me ten dollars just to park my car downtown.

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more_pls_daddy@reddit

You guys are getting paid?

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SamAndBrew@reddit

Yea…what? Iirc they offer us a bus ticket voucher lol.

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4-ton-mantis@reddit

In dfw is 6$ and does not even cover the cost to park at their little court house (they do not reimburse for that).

So dfw forces people to lose at least a day of our lives while paying them out of our pockets for the "privilege " to do things for them.

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Grizzlyadam93@reddit (OP)

I got $15

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homme_boy@reddit

I’ve literally thrown away every jury duty summons I’ve received 🤷🏻‍♂️

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TimisXI@reddit

And you’ve never got a warning or anything sent to you?

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homme_boy@reddit

Never and if I did, I’d throw that away too

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spanky088@reddit

They have no proof you ever got the notice. Throw it out and keep it moving.

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WhoaUhThray@reddit

This is the actual answer I was told by a sherriff while I was at jury selection. Crazy only like two comments mention it.

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TimisXI@reddit

Does that actually work though lol. My father in law told me that he always threw his notice away since the beginning. He’s 56 now and nothing has ever happened to him.

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slytherinprolly@reddit

Actual lawyer here. The best way to get out of jury duty is to just show up and say you don't want to do it. A lawyer isn't going to select someone to a jury that says they don't want to.

You can cite other reasons: work, childcare, etc, but depending on the circumstances the judge will just tell you tough luck.

Showing up to Court dressed in clothing like you are suggesting could result in you getting dismissed for the day and being asked to return soon, or being held in contempt and either fined or jailed if the judge determines the conduct involved was "disrespectful" to the court.

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LetTheDarkOut@reddit

You can get fined or jailed for wearing a shirt? Sounds like a first amendment violation.

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MacEWork@reddit

When you are on jury duty you are a de facto agent of the government, and your free speech rights are curtailed per normal rules. It’s not about you, it’s about prejudicing others and obstructing justice. The rules are there for fairness to the defendant:

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Garden-Warrior@reddit

Shall not be infringed

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4-ton-mantis@reddit

1st amendment has limits anyway.

Jury summons do warn that casual clothing, and they list skirts, t shirts, shorts etc can result in contempt.

I'm going in to my fourth summons over the past 6 years the end of the month.

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Angelfish7723@reddit

That's just awful! That's all I wear is T-shirts. I'm not spending money on clothes just to sit on some jury.

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4-ton-mantis@reddit

I think i threw away my recent summons card in rage after i got the damn day over with, and I'm embarrassed to say now i can't remember if t shirt was in the list of no nos. I so remember skorts though.

And what's really silly is if my summons card did list t shirts, i really didn't care because i did wear my t shirt that has a silhouette of a cockatiel with a heart in it. And you know what, i think t shirts was not on the list, i confused it with tank tops. I'm really sorry that was totally my bad. No the t shirts as long as you don't wear one with a profanity etc you will be fine in a t shirt. Sorry i confused it with tank tops i had a brain fart.

I have another t with a cartoon cockatiel giving the finger and the urge to wear that one was overwhelming. Also wanted to pick the t with sailor moon saying in the name of the moon i will punish you... passing was the limit of my behaving well that day.

Sorry about that. No you can Def get through fine with a t shirt. Gosh I'm dumb sometimes 💀

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Angelfish7723@reddit

Thank you.

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Ol_Hickory_Ham_Mike_@reddit

I wore track pants and a GnR sweatshirt to my last jury summons. No clue about there being a dress code, lol.

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4-ton-mantis@reddit

If you didn't get in trouble no harm no foul.

I dressed casual professionally the first one. The next 3 and my upcoming, jeans and shirt with some sort of sleeves. I ain't impressed with this repeated minutia.

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LetTheDarkOut@reddit

That sounds even more like tyranny wdym

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4-ton-mantis@reddit

That's how it is. Rights have limits.

For instance free speech does not allow us to scream fire in a public building because it puts the public in danger. Free speech isn't the limitless anarchy of saying anything anywhere. We don't have to like it, but for our own self preservation we have to be smart and respect it. Because authorities can and will act where they see fit.

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4-ton-mantis@reddit

From experience disagree about "just say we don't wanna". The most recent one i was in asked anyone who didn't want to do this to give a thumbs down. Every last person out of 75 did so. They still got their desired 12 plus 2 though.

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DEVOmay97@reddit

Can't I just claim an inability to be impartial? Like if the defendant is a different race than me I could say I'm super racist, or I could say I know their brother/sister/mother etc and that I fucking hate that person...

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stackingnoob@reddit

Tell them you don’t like attention, so you’d always go along with whatever the foreperson or presiding juror decides. Don’t be a smartass, just make it sound like you’re a sheep/follower. Give off NPC vibes. Both attorneys will probably not want to select you then, and the judge won’t hold you in contempt either.

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valvzb@reddit

I’ve seen people try that in court before and both times the judge got angry and theatened them with sanctions.

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DEVOmay97@reddit

That sounds like a 1st amendment violation to me

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UgotSprucked@reddit

Can you just say "I'm super racist against (X defendent race)"? And will that get you in any trouble?

Thanks for providing your lawyer-ness

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UndecidedQBit@reddit

I wanna see someone say it against their own race lol

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UgotSprucked@reddit

Id do it. "I hate all you moon faced whiteys" - from my pale white mouth lolol

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Correct-Forever-8931@reddit

Same. “You cracker-ass honky motherfuckers! K!ll Whitey!”

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the_project_pat@reddit

“This jury stuff, it’s just not my thing”

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Dudebug1@reddit

Jury Duty was such a good show and id love a second season but its hard to create that magic.

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the_project_pat@reddit

Season two coming soon…corporate retreat

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Dudebug1@reddit

Awesome! I wonder if I would've noticed it was all fake. Obviously I know James Marsden, but he played himself. I would've known something was up when Lisa Gilroy showed up as a plaintiffs witness and not being herself.

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Choppy313@reddit

This article from February ‘25 says it’s already been filmed outside of Los Angeles but Amazon has released no further info like a date or cast.

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Greenmantle22@reddit

"This guy...this is not my kinda guy."

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awmaleg@reddit

I’m hiring Jackie Chiles as my defense attorney

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Greenmantle22@reddit

It's sure to be the most public of his many humilations.

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sineofthetimes@reddit

Just say you're going to take em outside and show them what it's like.

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Greenmantle22@reddit

Then see how he does, up there, without all the assistance!

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Amonamission@reddit

“This whole ‘waking up’ and ‘getting out of bed’ thing, it’s just not for me, y’know?”

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no_obligation_jk@reddit

Borrowing, saying this to my kids tomorrow.

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Koumadin@reddit

it’s just not my bag, man

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phalangepatella@reddit

Hey, honest question. I was just sent summons for jury selection for a trial that was estimated to go for 160 plus days. Now, I truly DO want to serve on a jury for the experience, just not THAT much experience. Fortunately, they had picked a jury before they go to me.

My question is: I have a sleep disorder; I’m type 2 Narcoleptic. Periods of low activity almost always result in me falling asleep. If I told the court that (and had medical note backing it up) do you think they would excuse me?

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Capt_Gremerica@reddit

This feels like a legit reason to not be selected

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gujwdhufj_ijjpo@reddit

But they said they want to serve, at least a shorter time.

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phalangepatella@reddit

Yeah, I definitely would like to go through the process, just not for a 160+ day trial. However, I am curious if the Narcolepsy thing would be disqualifying, regardless of length of trial.

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ThePureAxiom@reddit

It might be if it means missing parts of the trial. I doubt either side would want a juror falling asleep and missing testimony, evidence, or direction due to a medical condition they disclosed would likely result in that.

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gujwdhufj_ijjpo@reddit

But they said they want to serve, at least a shorter time.

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Icy-Summer-3573@reddit

Duh. I got out of jury duty be saying yo im in college. And sent them creds. (I was gonna graduate by time but my creds said expected graduation 1 year so i got exempt)

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BootyCrunchXL@reddit

Dumb question. You replied to a comment that answers your question. Learn to read dip shit

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MaryPutty@reddit

I had my doctor write me a letter excusing me for my inattentive ADHD as well as my anxiety disorder (courts are a triggering place for me). The letter also states these were permanent conditions, and to consider this a lifelong excusal.

I emailed that letter to the contact person on my summons. I received notice back that this was noted in my records, and I was excluded from returning to the juror pool forever.

I’m 43, and have had anxiety about a summons showing up my whole life. It’s never happened until now. I’m thankful I’m capable of advocating for myself now. 28 year old me wouldn’t have even considered having a doctor’s note.

Call your doctor. They’ll help you

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spammmmmmmmy@reddit

I showed up for jury selection and when queried whether I was willing to follow the judge's instructions without reservation, I told that I'd heard about jury nullification from a friend. They dismissed me at the next break.

In your professional opinion, did I do a disservice to justice by disclosing this? I won't lie, I was relieved not to have to hear the details of a rape case.

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Fryboy11@reddit

I got selected for Grand Jury Duty when I was in college. I really wanted to do it and filled out the paperwork saying as much. I’d already looked into it and saw that the MN Grand Jury only met on Thursdays. And being a senior all my classes were M,W,F with six hours every Tuesday on my capstone or senior project.

They immediately sent me another letter saying we don’t want to interrupt your schoolwork, I said they weren’t as my Thursdays were open.

Then I got one from the judge saying that both sides agreed to strike me because I was a student.

I hated that because in high school I did mock trial and I really wanted to see it from a the perspective of a grand juror whom are allowed to ask questions to the prosecution and the defense. Whom is also the correct pronoun

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PM_ME_YOUR_GREENERY@reddit

Does the mention of jury nullification piss off the judge?

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Rare-Adagio-5355@reddit

I have Jury duty next month. I also have PTSD around police/courts as a domestic violence victim. I am a bit nervous.

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MaryPutty@reddit

I commented this up above, but copying here for you

TL/DR I got a doctor’s note excusing me for life due to my anxiety disorder and inattentive ADHD//

I had my doctor write me a letter excusing me for my inattentive ADHD as well as my anxiety disorder (courts are a triggering place for me). The letter also states these were permanent conditions, and to consider this a lifelong excusal.

I emailed that letter to the contact person on my summons. I received notice back that this was noted in my records, and I was excluded from returning to the juror pool forever.

I’m 43, and have had anxiety about a summons showing up my whole life. It’s never happened until now. I’m thankful I’m capable of advocating for myself now. 28 year old me wouldn’t have even considered having a doctor’s note.

Call your doctor. They’ll help you

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Rare-Adagio-5355@reddit

Thank you SO SO much!

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MaryPutty@reddit

You’re welcome, friend Glad my experience can help someone else out

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ForesterLC@reddit

What if you go up there and just report that you do hold a deep contempt for court and have lost confidence in the court to fairly uphold the rule of law, as a reason for not wanting to do it?

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Arbitrage_1@reddit

Held in contempt is a big stretch and would never realistically happen, definitely not an actual lawyer with any sense that suggested that, but, not a good idea to bring those ideas to court.

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stealthcactus@reddit

Would comments about Jury Nullification work? How should it be approached?

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MelkorHimself@reddit

I would say that I firmly believe in jury nullification.

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Swampy1741@reddit

Which is stupid and more likely to get you hit with contempt than just saying you don’t want to do it

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DEVOmay97@reddit

Just say your incapable of being impartial because your super racist towards whatever race the defendant is

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Swampy1741@reddit

Which is also stupid and more likely to get you hit with contempt than just saying you don’t want to be on the jury

There’s a lawyer 2 comments up literally telling you what to do

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Greenie302DS@reddit

I would say that unless I’m on the jury for Luigi Mangione and I would totally nullify that shit.

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FadeIntoReal@reddit

“I’d never trust a cop’s testimony. Ever heard of DWB? Ever heard of testilying’?”

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Pleasant-Antelope634@reddit

Donuts With Benefits?

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SolaireTheMetalhead@reddit

Driving While Black

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Pleasant-Antelope634@reddit

That's upsetting. FUCK THA PO LEECE

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slytherinprolly@reddit

The initial comment could get you dismissed from some criminal cases, but there are civil cases that get juries, so you wouldn't get dismissed from the pool. But if you toss in the testilyng comment you'll risk getting put in contempt.

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FadeIntoReal@reddit

Contempt of the truth is common in court. I’d take it with pride.

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mkosmo@reddit

yeah, sure

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jdv_lv@reddit

I served on a jury for extreme domestic violence related to drug trafficking and kidnapping about 10 years ago. We all kind of got the sense that it was going to be a long trial so people were trying really hard to get out. One guy in the front during jury selection literally said "I can't be objective because I think in many cases domestic violence is okay and I've served time for domestic violence myself ", and the judge literally said " are you sure that you feel you can't be objective? Let me give you some time to think about it and I'm going to come back to you. " He kept pressing and eventually the judge relented and released him.

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Rare-Adagio-5355@reddit

As a domestic violence victim this makes me want to cry. I got out, but still. Holy shit.

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Infamous_Football_34@reddit

What about if someone were to follow in Liz Lemon's footsteps? I am curious as to how this would be perceived 😀

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Wanna_make_cash@reddit

I was reading a transcript of voir dire for a case. They get to one juror and ask him what he does for a job. He says he's a preacher and he immediately starts trying to preach and say "I was sent here by God and I want to say Jesus Loves You and Forgives You." The lawyer just responded "I appreciate that" and moved on to the next jury member for questioning. Needless to say, they opted to remove / not use that jury member.

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Xendrak@reddit

Once they learn I’m a programmer they don’t want me. Too prone to logic I guess and harder to control with mind games and lawyer emotion triggering.

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Humans_Suck-@reddit

But forcing you to lose money you can't afford to lose by missing work to travel hours away from home to participate in the farce of a justice system isn't "disrespectful" lol

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uberphaser@reddit

Seconding this. Few things a trial attorney hates more in voir dire than a potential juror who demonstrably doesn't want to serve. That's a wild card and nobody wants that on either side.

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more_pls_daddy@reddit

What if I want to get jury duty?

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Phantom2291@reddit

I was summoned but ultimately rejected. Having been inside, there didn't seem to be any reason for my dismissal, so it's a crap shoot

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GazelleSubstantial76@reddit

I did this approach many years ago and was selected. I had finished a term contracted job and was taking some time off and casually job hunting when I was summoned. Got selected and the trial ended up being almost 3 weeks. I was very interested in the case and the experience and enjoyed it. When they were interviewing us as potential jurors I was honest about my eagerness to be a part of the judicial process and told them I was interested in being a juror because of my curiosity of it. Both sets of attorneys seemed to like that.

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more_pls_daddy@reddit

That’s probably way better than “I’m bored and want a new experience.”

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slytherinprolly@reddit

Just answer questions truthfully that's all anyone should do anyway.

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more_pls_daddy@reddit

Seems less fun than pretending to be a functioning member of society, but okay.

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88bauss@reddit

Or say you have family in law enforcement.

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slytherinprolly@reddit

There are more than just criminal cases that have juries. And having family in law enforcement, or even being in law enforcement isn't going to get you dismissed. I kept a State Trooper on a jury once when I was a public defender specifically because I thought he would be able to properly scrutinize poorly executed SFSTs on a DUI case, and sure enough it worked.

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xzhoopwn2515@reddit

If court gives me ptsd, will they force me to show up just to turn me down? Because I really don’t even want to go through that. I don’t want to be physically there or thinking about it.

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SaltyPopcornKitty@reddit

I showed up to jury duty and stated that cops lie. Thaaaaat was enough to be released.

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SaltyPopcornKitty@reddit

The judge wasn’t even mad and the prosecutor was happy to release me. I told the truth - the only unhappy ones were the cops giving me the side eye.

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more_pls_daddy@reddit

I thought we were supposed to tell the truth in the questionnaire?

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7despair8@reddit

What part of cops lie is false? It is long established that it is perfectly legal and acceptable for a cop to lie to you to get what they want.

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more_pls_daddy@reddit

Yeah? We know cops lie. That’s the truth. You know, the truth they want the other poster to tell them when asked questions.

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ManfredBoyy@reddit

I think I know what’s up here because when I read your reply i also thought you were saying cops lying is false.

They thought you were telling them “I thought you were supposed to the truth on the questionnaire,” as in, you were saying that they were lying about cops lying, as in, cops don’t lie.

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more_pls_daddy@reddit

They definitely lie, and they do so with glee. I think they’re the only ones who deny that.

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7despair8@reddit

The part of your comment above that you deleted. That's what on earth made me think that.

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CanopyOfAsh@reddit

The judge was surprised when I said I would weigh the testimony of a LEO as less trustworthy. They really do live in a bubble

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Proof_Bathroom_3902@reddit

Odds are the judge might order you to reverse your shirt or just charge you with contempt. It depends on their style and how they feel that morning. Screwing with a judge in their own courtroom is like screwing with the captain of a pirate ship.

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LetTheDarkOut@reddit

Charging someone with contempt for wearing a shirt with words on it is a great way to lose your job.

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PeanutNore@reddit

If you're a fry cook, sure. When you're a judge, not so much.

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LetTheDarkOut@reddit

Your system is more corrupt than I knew.

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michaelgarbel@reddit

Are you like 11? I feel like you are 👍🤣

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LetTheDarkOut@reddit

Only kids ask other people their age sooo….

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michaelgarbel@reddit

The question was rhetorical, it’ll make more sense when you grow up.

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LetTheDarkOut@reddit

Buddy, are you new at this? You seem new.

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michaelgarbel@reddit

Did you just rephrase my original comment? Cute.

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poopoopeepee42069@reddit

you’ve never tried to talk to people on omegle. Everyone asks. Always old ass creeps.

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Two_Hump_Wonder@reddit

Mfw i can't understand contempt of court and why it should be punished.

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Proof_Bathroom_3902@reddit

Every jury notice I've received has at least a brief sentence regarding expected professional dress code.

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WordsOrDie@reddit

Lmao you must not spend much time in courtrooms

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BassLB@reddit

Plan ahead and have “super guilty” printed on the inside

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LastLostCause@reddit

I legitimately had a flat tire the day of my jury duty, and I was staying too hours away from the courthouse at the time. I called and they told me no problem, excused for the day, and they'd let me know when to come back.

They settled out of court, I didn't have to go back for that one.

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OkDot1494@reddit

I am 44 years old and have successfully dodged Jury Duty EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Most of the time it's just been excused, but I've gotten out of it other ways...

I showed up about 10 minutes late and "out of breath" because I "ran the last 5 blocks" because I "missed the bus"

Another time I showed up in a knee brace and crutches, saying I sprained my knee. I winced and groaned just enough to be excused.

I got out of Federal Jury Duty by filing an appeal and claiming I had a positive covid test. They never followed up.

It's easy if you get creative but keep it believable.

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beardedwithchildren@reddit

Jury duty? 99% of cases are resolved by plea or agreement. A guilty shirt would probably result in being held in contempt or invited to an education in civic responsibility. If you want an unethical way of getting out of jury duty is to show up and shit your pants.

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threwou@reddit

Pock a date right before a holiday weekend/break.

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CryptoStonerGod@reddit

I've just always thrown those letters away like what I'm 51 years old never did jury duty

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Skellyhell2@reddit

Say you've always wanted to put jury nullification to the test.

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Lylire21@reddit

I sent a letter stating I did not feel I had sufficient faith in lawyers or our justice system to be a juror. My first lawyer I hired for divorce and custody ended up being an alcoholic who rushed into court disheveled and trembling. He also had a business relationship with my ex-laws, and years later confirmed he had been telling them everything about my side of the case.

The next lawyer was more helpful, but...his brother who was also a lawyer in the same office committed suicide when he was under investigation for corruption.

Then there was the lawyers we had to hire to deal with the IRS for our small business. Twice. Minimal effort on their part and $10,000 each time.

Absolutely true. I haven't gotten another summons.

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yramlvsme@reddit

Luigi hat to court will do the trick.

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androidbear04@reddit

They equally likely could send you home to change and come back, or they could hold you in contempt of court and fine you.

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DEVOmay97@reddit

Since it doesn't prevent the court from functioning or disrupt the proceedings in any way, should charging someone with contempt based on a T-shirt be a violation of the 1st amendment?

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androidbear04@reddit

When I've gotten a summons for jury duty, there has been a dress code that would preclude being able to wear something like that.

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Bluntlegend@reddit

Just got out of jury duty. Just say something happened in your past that makes you biased towards one side.

For example, I used to be a correctional officer, so I said I was biased towards law enforcement therefore would more than likely say the other party was guilty due to my bias.

Enjoy getting out of jury duty!

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IchibanSBD@reddit

Just show up and fall asleep nonstop and say you pulled an all nighter

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ChrisKaze@reddit

Throw away the letter, never reply. Unless they send someone to serve you you simply "never got the letters"

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pnw_sunny@reddit

that would take brass balls and probably unwise. i would recommend wearing a shirt with the that little american flag that is blue - you know the thin blue line that shows you are aligned with cops.

no one will pick you.

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Grizzlyadam93@reddit (OP)

That’s very subtle. I like it

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pnw_sunny@reddit

i think it will work. good luck, i;ve never been picked and have not even gotten a summons in 15 years.

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im_no_doctor_lol@reddit

I ended up doing jury duty on a murder case. It was very interesting. I'd totally do it again.

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Dorsai56@reddit

They will generally ask if you are involved in law enforcement. "My father was a Chicago cop for twenty years" or something similar will likely get you struck by the defense in a criminal case. Domestic trials, maybe, maybe not.

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RJ_42@reddit

During my jury selection, they asked us if we felt the justice system was unfair towards people who aren’t white. I answered yes. The prosecution didn’t like that since the defendant was a black man.

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halbeshendel@reddit

Have you ever served before? Like have you ever answered a summons in your life? If not, don’t start now. That shit got lost in the mail. Never got it.

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EatAllTheShiny@reddit

Just make it clear that you will let the rest of the jury know that jury nullification exists, and you will be politely asked to GTFO of the court room and probably never contacted for jury duty again in your life.

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captn_sean@reddit

Always surprised at everyone’s techniques to avoid jury duty. Just don’t respond. They can’t prove you got the letter. You think all those people who live out of the country get their mail on time or fly home for that? No. It’s like the one thing you can ignore and it will go away.

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BramblesCrash@reddit

It's legal to throw away your mail without reading it. That's enough to get you out of jury duty in the US

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pretzelcoatl_@reddit

Just out of curiosity, does this actually work?

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DoctorJekylll@reddit

Yes, don't respond just toss it.

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laidbackeconomist@reddit

I tried telling this to the IRS! They didn’t seem to appreciate it.

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fatboy2481223@reddit

Swastika on your forehead in sharpie usually works. Good luck 🍀

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Grizzlyadam93@reddit (OP)

Oof. Thats kinda low, even for me.

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Davemblover69@reddit

Could you get in trouble for showing up drunk or high. Like slam a margarita outside, to take the edge off?

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Grizzlyadam93@reddit (OP)

I assure you I showed up high af. Didn’t get picked but still had to waste most of my day at the courthouse.

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Sir_Yacob@reddit

Just say “I have an inability through my own personal experiences to objectively serve a judgement as a juror in a case like this”.

No shirt required

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Grizzlyadam93@reddit (OP)

Or wear a shirt that says that

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Yodaddysbelt@reddit

Hang dong in your ill-fitting suit

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Grizzlyadam93@reddit (OP)

Then you’ll be on the other side of the court proceedings

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Fluid_Seaweed2736@reddit

I can tell if a man is guilty just by looking at him. Please pick me.

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Grizzlyadam93@reddit (OP)

I CAN judge a book by its cover

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DreamingMeme@reddit

I've just gotten my doctor to write a note every time I've gotten summoned. They were sending me notices yearly for a few years but stopped.

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509VolleyballDad@reddit

When you get a jury summons, it is not certified mail. They can’t prove you got it- or it got lost in the mail. Pitch it.

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DlnnerTable@reddit

I want to be selected for jury duty so bad. I’ve only gotten the notice once in my 12 year adult life but I wasn’t required to even show up in the day. I need an ULPT to get selected

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Obese_Alloy@reddit

I I found out I was selected, I called the courthouse clerk to inform them I suffered from mental illnesses and that I didn't think I would be a good candidate to properly judge someone on trial. They immediately removed me from jury duty.

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Cletus_McWanker@reddit

Here's how to get out of it.

Work in Child Welfare 2 years. Get to know the court employees, lawyers & Judges. Develop relationships. Quit.

Now you have a bias & never get picked. It's worked for me 5 times.

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kqg920@reddit

This is more of a sad commentary on the value society puts on jury service. Matching pay and paid time off from work are relics of the past. Reading here that state compensation varies from $6, $12, and $15, are figures from the 1960s that haven’t kept up with the times.

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FeralBlowfish@reddit

Too much effort just tell them you are aware of jury nullification.

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chomby_q_public@reddit

Best way to get out of jury duty is to bring up jury nullification.

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Ok_Day_8559@reddit

If it’s a criminal trial, I say I don’t trust the police. If it’s a civil matter, I say I was a licensed insurance underwriter and I haven’t been selected once.

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planetaryduality2@reddit

What if I respond to jury selection with questions “ how much butter y’all think the defender can eat comfortably in one sitting” they tell me it’s irrelevant. And I respond it’s not irrelevant in my decision making.

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vulcan1358@reddit

Try the Gribble method:

“I do not recognise the authority of a court that hangs the gold-fringed flag. A flag with gilded edges is the flag of an Admiralty court. An Admiralty court signifies a Naval court-martial. I cannot be court-martialed twice. That is all. Furthermore—“

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housevil@reddit

I have been trying to get on jury duty every single year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit in an air-conditioned room downtown, judging people while my lunch is paid for... that is the life.

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childishgamdinho@reddit

isn’t there a phrase like “jury nullification” or something that will instantly get you thrown out ?

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Clem_de_Menthe@reddit

From my experience, show up. If you get to the point where you’re in front of a judge, say something like, “I will not find anyone guilty because the justice system is rigged for the rich” or something to that effect. You’re demonstrating that you cannot be impartial, so you’ll be excused.

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Far_Construction7986@reddit

Literally all you have to do is show up.

If you are smart with degrees very good chance they won't select you, most prosecutors and defense attorneys don't want critical thinkers.

If you are at risk of being selected say you don't want to do it. That will usually get you out of things.

If you don't want to do it and that doesn't seem like it will work, you can say your religious beliefs prevent you from holding people accountable for their actions or something weird but plausibly true.

Say you distrust the government and cops testimonies because you either had a cop lie about a friend or family or you personally know a cop in your family and they aren't trustworthy.

Whatever the excuse is don't lie about it, because there are 100 different valid excuses, just make sure that it impedes your ability to make unbiased judgements.

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OblongGoblong@reddit

"Only God gets to judge people!"

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Long_Cod7204@reddit

The contempt charges be real. Old, frustrated, judges don't like anyone disrupting their carefully planned out grift.

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DEVOmay97@reddit

Contempt of court being a crime is a violation of the 1st amendment.

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Jormney@reddit

I just said I'm self employed and can't afford to miss time, also COVID was still very prevalent so I cited that as another reason. Dismissed immediately.

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bklynking1999@reddit

Wow, it’s really not as complicated as some people are making it. As many have mentioned, unless it’s registered mail, there is no proof that you received it. You then might eventually get a more threatening letter. You can then buy a refundable plane ticket for the week in question. Nothing hey can do or say, once excused, cancel the flight.

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StephenCG@reddit

Just do what I do and be Deaf They won’t go through the time and expense of getting an interpreter for just one person.

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Rachel_Silver@reddit

I accidentally found a way that seems to work. The first time I was called for jury duty, I had a job that would have continued to pay me 75% of my normal pay for the duration of the trial. I did my best to get them to pick me, but I was pretty high and fucked it up. They could tell I was trying to get picked, and I was pretty quickly excused.

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MistakeTraditional38@reddit

I had a record from when I was in the peace movement. I was asked if ever convicted, I listed three or four before getting dismissed "for cause". They interrupted me before I got a chance to list the rest. I was hurt.

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succored_word@reddit

Just be very racist or sexist when they ask you questions.

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Sure_Satisfaction497@reddit

Stop trying to get out of jury duty- we need the kind of people that don't want to do it then most

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BigPersonality6995@reddit

Stop sending letters every five minutes to self employed folk then.

When you are summoned you can’t plan work, so if you if you don’t get selected to carry it out you will just get summoned again in a few months and take yet another financial loss.

You can’t claim back unless used in court it just does people out of money. Use full time employees only.

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KingReoJoe@reddit

Better thought, just pay jurors a good stipend. $200-$400 a day, and make it tax exempt.

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thorsbeardexpress@reddit

I would do that job full time

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KingReoJoe@reddit

I figure you adjust for cost of living. $200/day in rural Montana. $400 a day in Manhattan, sliding scale between.

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BigPersonality6995@reddit

In the UK they select a pool of people, so let’s just say 80 to be available for X date.

Low court less time, high court longer time for cases generally. Now the problem is where you are not selected for the trial but are made available for the ‘pool’ the system keeps you on file and spam you to be selected for the pool until you sit on the jury. Then you are excused for two years or something.

I was selected every few months and had to drive 400 miles to not be selected and lose work one time. Had a phone call from someone in the court after the last time (six or so summons) and explained to her and haven’t heard from then since but it is a computer type thing and ridiculous for the self employed.

I agree with the payment scheme a lot more would do it.

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ScissoringIsAMyth@reddit

I'm just honest, I'm anti-authority, anti-police, lean towards the Anarchist side of the political spectrum, and identify as a Satanist. However I actually WANT to be on a jury. I think it's our civic duty and the backbone of our legal system.

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thorsbeardexpress@reddit

Same on all counts, I just got a notice to go and I'm worried they'll let me go.

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nowmeetoo@reddit

I actually want to do my civic duty, but sadly the only time I got the summons was when I was deployed

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Cold-Froyo5408@reddit

Just don’t reply, nobody knows it didn’t get lost in the mail

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MasterofMystery@reddit

Wear a shirt that says “Google Jury Nullification” on front and back.

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nwbrown@reddit

Mention that you have been reading up on this thing called "jury nullification", that will do it.

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Casper41212@reddit

I was sent a jury summons once a few years ago. The date to appear was weeks after I received it. The summons got buried under other pieces of mail and I completely forgot about it. 3 days after I was supposed to show up for the summons a little light bulb went off in my head and I thought "I missed my jury duty!". I thought I was in all kinds of trouble... I called the courthouse and apologized profusely and told them I genuinely forgot (which was the truth) and the assistant just said it was no big deal and I was off the hook

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CountryClubWS@reddit

Best way to get out of jury duty. Don’t do anything. It is not unlikely for the post office is to misplace the summons. If you respond in any way they got you

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my_dog_farts@reddit

I went for jury duty once. Got picked for a DUI case. Called me up and asked if I knew the defendant. Nope. Did I know the arresting officer? Yes, my cousin. Would I believe him over other people? Yes. How about the DA? Yes. We went to HS together, good friends to this day. How about the defense attorney? Yes. We are friends, I was just at his house yesterday to eat dinner. I was put in the jury. That was about 20+ years ago. The defense attorney moved and I ran into him at my daughter’s wedding. I asked him (I figured earlier it might be against the rules) why he chose me even though the I knew all the prosecution. He said the guy was guilty, he hates drunk drivers and he was sure I would see through his defense and put him away.

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javertthechungus@reddit

I got a doctors note for migraines. My friend who’s a courtroom clerk said that if you have a doctors note regarding not being able to sit for a long time then they dismiss you no worries

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SupertrampTrampStamp@reddit

Did they send the summons via certified mail? No.

You never got it. Guess the postal service lost it.

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sofaking_scientific@reddit

I've been called for jury duty twice (never got picked during the lottery), but the folks who mentioned they liked reading into conspiracy theories during their spare time were never selected.

Joe Rogan podcast listeners too.

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Infamous_Football_34@reddit

What about a piss disk? Can't see any way that would go wrong S/

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sidwing@reddit

I just always tell them that skipping work only cause finance hardship for me. And it works every single time. Of course you can’t be a millionaire.

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alphalegend91@reddit

I have a friend who's told me that he just throws his out. Never actually gone and nothing's been done to him in the decade plus since he told me.

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Rasmosus@reddit

How about: "Jury Nullification. Google it!"

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Connect_Read6782@reddit

I have the opposite problem.. I WANT to be on a jury..

But I will never be picked in this county because my wife is a supervisor at the district attorneys office.

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CakieFickflip@reddit

Just from personal experience. I’ve been called up for jury duty twice. I’m in the military. Both times I had military stuff going on. I called the courthouse and said “hey I’m ____, I was selected for jury duty on this date. I’m in the military and have an obligation during that time”. Both times they said “okay thanks we’ll remove you”. Didn’t have to send any documentation or anything

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Quirky_Option_4142@reddit

I just told them I work night shift and will be appearing directly after my shift, and asked if there be coffee available? Oddly enough, I was excused.

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tryplot@reddit

unless the letter was sent via registered mail, they can't prove you got it. just don't go.

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ashley_spashley@reddit

I got called for a DV that turned into murder by firearm/self defense case. During selection, they asked if anyone had any objections and I requested to approach the bench. I quietly stated to the attorneys and judge I was a gun related DV victim as a child and preferred to not be involved bc I didn’t think I could be impartial due to that.

I was thanked for my time and dismissed. When I left I could hear murmurs from other people in the room probably wondering wtf I said bc I was sent on my way quick lmao

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Slacker_Zer0@reddit

Will I have to be sober? Seriously could being or claiming you’re a raging alcoholic work?

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Slacker_Zer0@reddit

“You’re boned, so sayeth the jury!” And have a little gavel to punctuate the end on your tshirt!

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Hot-Win2571@reddit

Judge is likely to select you for contempt of court.

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LoadOk5992@reddit

Take several garlic pills so nobody can stand to be near you.

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LeadershipAfter9526@reddit

I watched Jury Duty and will always think this is not a real trial. Instead of focussing on the testimony I will be looking for hidden cameras. Blame Amazon Prime TV and also wear chair pants.

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toolatealreadyfapped@reddit

Just don't show up. On the extremely low chance you are contacted about it, just play dumb. "Never saw it."

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mattmattmattmattmat@reddit

I once showed up to jury duty on my one day off after working 13 days in a row (two jobs) and made this very clear when they were selecting the jury. Also told them that the defendant looked like a "smug asshole" (he did and he was being charged with sharing nude photos of his ex wife after the divorce). Needless to say I didn't get selected

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PostPunkBurrito@reddit

I saw a guy get thrown off a jury a few years ago for falling asleep during testimony. He got yelled at by the judge and sent home.

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Greenmantle22@reddit

"I watch Law and Order religiously. Eight episodes a day!"

"I can't manage childcare lately, since my grandmother is on trial in the next county. Can I bring my kids with me?"

"I can't read GOOD, but I bet I can do this job if you cover my bus fare. When can I start?"

"Wow! You look just like Judge Judy! Only a dude!"

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TheLohr@reddit

Can't believe people actually respond to those things at all.

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samizdat5@reddit

A lot of jury duty is for civil cases, so you can't count on making statements about not trusting the police or whatever. On criminal juries you are not supposed to give more weight to a cop's testimony over someone else's just because they are a cop anyway.

I have been on juries a few times and I've seen people get excused on vaguely "religious" grounds - one woman said something about "only God can sit in judgment of people" and another woman one time said something about it being against her religion.

The government - that is, the courts, don't like to mess with freedom of religion - so if you are ok with lying about a sincerely held religious belief that "only God can point the finger" or whatever, have at it.

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paulmataruso@reddit

I told them I have severe anxiety, they told me that that is not an excuse, I reply with "alright well I guess I will take some of my stronger anxiety meds and drive there." There next reply was the excusal letter.

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TheTaoThatIsSpoken@reddit

Handing out fliers about jury nullification in the waiting room will probably get you kicked out quicker.

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wantagh@reddit

Get arrested

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PickleNutsauce@reddit

Too obvious.

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Aetheldrake@reddit

Why not just lie and say you're racist or something. Or something like you hate the current president (in any presidential term) and can not be an unbiased juror.

Shit I told the court I was the only person working at my job (my department in a grocery store) and that they'd have to shut that area down if I left. Plus I moved out out of state. Was good to go.

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jaxx_rdt@reddit

Straight to jail. Right away. Sounds like jury tempering with proof to me.

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UncBarry@reddit

Need to go sit in the dock wearing that t-shirt.